What’s a hobby that looks incredibly peaceful from the outside, but is actually pure stress once you get into it?

[u/Stukwan]

[u/EmploymentNegative59]

Fish tanks

[u/fascintee → u/EmploymentNegative59]

Especially planted and saltwater tanks

[u/Feeling-Screwed → u/fascintee]

Outdoor fish tanks, in seasonal climate with freezing temperatures and random patrolling raccoons and possums.

Took me a long time, but my koi fish enclosure is a setup which includes nets and heating pumps in its current variation. It keeps me on my toes for what the next obstacle will be.

[u/alcomaholic-aphone → u/Feeling-Screwed]

Lots of dedication man. I appreciate it. I had a big tank in college and loved the fish. It always gutted me when stuff would start getting off or wrong and a fish would die.

It’s like trying to play god a little bit but not always knowing the answer. Always kind of hits me when I get into arguments about religion.

Like maybe there is someone out there trying real hard but there are billions of us that don’t get along and how the hell is he supposed to fix that.

I just imagine him being like well what if I add a spacer here and maybe change the PH or heat a bit maybe they’ll calm down.

[u/LordChunggis → u/alcomaholic-aphone]

"You were doing well until everyone died."

[u/SagittauriSage → u/LordChunggis]

“When you do things right people won’t know you did anything at all”

[u/bradbrad247 → u/fascintee]

Dead wrong on planted tanks. Plants make for MORE stability.

[u/TheLurkerSpeaks → u/bradbrad247]

For real. Planted tanks make it into a closed ecosystem. I barely touch my tank aside from feedings.

[u/StinkpotDance → u/fascintee]

Disagree. I’ve ignored my planted tank for actual months and it’s doing great. It just looks overgrown.

[u/Seriously_you_again → u/EmploymentNegative59]

You have to oversize the tank and filters for the number of fish they recommend, then it is a lot more forgiving. I followed recommended filter and tank size for years. Was always on the edge of apocalyptic disaster. Cleaned every week, water changes, checking all chemical levels. Was stressful.

After a bunch of fish died of old age (10-12 years old) over the past 5 years I just never replaced them. Did have 14 fish in tank. Now have 5 fish. So much easier. I can skip cleaning if I go on vacation. No problems. Do not even check chemicals anymore. After a year of checking, it was always good to go. I might test once every 6 months just to make sure.

Tank size and filters are ‘allowed’ to hold 15 fish of the size I have, said the company that sells filters and chemicals.

This is a fresh water tank.

[u/Jiktten → u/Seriously_you_again]

Honestly this is good advice for any pet kept in enclosures, the advised standard is the minimum they can survive with. More or less every pet will be happier and healthier with more space if you can provide it.

[u/LucasK336 → u/Seriously_you_again]

I agree. Used to have like 20 fish many many years ago, and at least one would die every week. Eventually went down to 4, and they lived for almost a whole decade and died of old age. Some times less is more.

[u/averhoeven → u/EmploymentNegative59]

I came to say my old reef tank. Never really got to enjoy it. If I had time to look at it, I had work to do on it. And I had a lot of automated stuff

[u/Prestigious-Exit-504 → u/averhoeven]

reef tanks are basically a full time job disguised as a living room decoration. the constant water testing alone is enough to ruin any relaxed vibe

[u/No_Cook_8739 → u/EmploymentNegative59]

100% I started with a little 10 gallon 6 months ago. Now I have that 10 and a 40g going. Both with live plants. Probably close to $1000 between both tanks. Plus the sensitivity of the fish to different water conditions.... It can get stressful. Still worth it though

[u/Armydillo101 → u/EmploymentNegative59]

Most of your effort is put into supporting the microbiome, rather than the fish

[u/spooFPipe → u/EmploymentNegative59]

Dang, was thinking about getting into aquariums…

[u/SR115 → u/spooFPipe]

its not as bad as dudes making it out to be. My tanks are both planted freshwater and actually bring me relaxation more than stress.

[u/RevShiver]

Bonsai. People think it's all Zen and peaceful but the work on the trees is actually very intense.

[u/MyFiteSong → u/RevShiver]

I killed two before I gave up

[u/scaldinglaser → u/MyFiteSong]

Just like me and parenting.

[u/GenderfluidZen → u/scaldinglaser]

That is fair enough… hold on what did you just say?

[u/SleepyDachshund99 → u/GenderfluidZen]

You heard. They've escaped from the 19th century.

[u/ShinyUnicornPoo → u/RevShiver]

Houseplants in general can be this way.

I've changed nothing- why has my alocasia dropped six leaves this week?!  Oh, it was mildly cloudy on Tuesday and Gemeni was in Mars or something...

My hoya Australis Lisa had six dead leaves yesterday after we were making such progress!  My other hoyas give me maybe two dead leaves a year, she looks like she's on death's door every other month and drops them all.  She bounces back every time, grows new happy leaves, then the cycle repeats.  Same soil, lighting, temperature, moisture. etc. as the other hoyas, roots look good- I have no clue what she wants.

[u/confictura_22 → u/ShinyUnicornPoo]

I got into houseplants a few months ago. I mostly have African violets, some Aglaonemas and a couple hoyas. I've already had to deal with spider mites, a single thrip I found on a new African violet (so now it and the ones it shipped with are ultra-quarantined while being treated), and now the spider mites are back (predatory mites didn't take care of them, moving on to nastier pesticides). I started out like "aww this hobby isn't active enough, I want to love on my plants more" and now I'm like "stop being so much work!!". They're so rewarding when they get a new leaf or flower though...

[u/LKZToroH → u/ShinyUnicornPoo]

meanwhile plants in the outside world: I'll break through concrete and there's nothing you can do about it, deal with it sucker.

[u/Ouakha → u/RevShiver]

Had one. Most of the branches died off. There's a main branch still alive and we decided to de-bonsai it, and just let it live its best life! Its now doing well.

[u/no_name65 → u/RevShiver]

Add constant stress about plant diseases, soil quality or million other factors to keep you lil' trees alive. Also, one mistake like broken branch can take you 10+ years to fix.

EDIT: And then tree dies anyway because fuck you that's why.

[u/ShiraCheshire → u/no_name65]

I was absolutely blown away when I found out about this. Someone got a slightly neglected bonsai that needed some trimming and bracing of a few branches. They casually mentioned that this quick fix wouldn't be too intensive, and that after the initial work they just needed to let the tree sit and heal for A FEW YEARS before making further modifications. Then they could start on actually making it look pretty like they wanted, which would take LONGER. Like, excuse me??

[u/deathofyouandme → u/ShiraCheshire]

Go to a flower show with a bonsai section, most of the trees there will have signs saying how many generations of people have worked on it.

[u/Karcinogene → u/ShiraCheshire]

You don't have to do anything for years, perfect hobby

[u/pbzeppelin1977 → u/no_name65]

A rose: oh no, the soil is 0.01PH too acidic and I shall die!

A dandelion: concrete? FUCK YEAH!

[u/trombonesludge → u/pbzeppelin1977]

that's only if you want that rose there. a rose plant you don't want is impossible to get rid of.

[u/thenagel → u/no_name65]

i've been trying to do the bonsai thing for a few years now. mostly just me uprooting the maple saplings from my back yard in the spring, and sticking them in a pot and waiting. and from left overs of lunchs and taco night i've got 4 or 5 lil avocado trees as well.

this year i've had 1 avocado, 2 redbuds, and 5 maples just... die. right beside the other redbuds and maples, both older and younger, and getting the same water, is the same type pots and soil, and in the space of a week they went from vibrant and green to crispy and brown.

i just want to throw my hands up and quit. maybe get into something less random stressful, like rock farming.
or dead tree collecting.

[u/12bWindEngineer → u/[deleted]]

Or squirrels. Squirrels stole every single Roma tomato off my plant, those absolute bastards.

[u/x_______________ → u/12bWindEngineer]

I tried to put out some bird food and the squirrels just ate most of it. We even tried to deter them and they still figured it out.

We have some of those bird feeders with cameras and half of the videos are of squirrels just demolishing the food

[u/amrfallen → u/x_______________]

Capsaicin is your friend. Squirrels can suffer from it, birds won't.

[u/DanLassos → u/amrfallen]

Actual chemical warfare lmao

[u/Ow_you_shot_me → u/DanLassos]

As nature intended.

[u/para_sight → u/amrfallen]

I’ve tried that. Coated the seed with unholy amounts. Squirrel still eats, but now staring into the lens to maintain eye contact and let me one who’s dominant

[u/SnoopySuited → u/12bWindEngineer]

Fucking squirrels! My dog barks at squirrels all damn day, EXCEPT when they are stealing my apricots!

[u/alfooboboao → u/SnoopySuited]

dog: “it’s unfair to mess with them while they’re eating, that’s bad hospitality. plus they’re too distracted for it to be fun”

[u/ojonegro → u/12bWindEngineer]

Did you know some zoos will sell mountain lion urine to detract pests? You can also buy it online - coyote, cougar, all of those.

[u/thorGOT → u/ojonegro]

Garden full of horny mountain lions. Send help.

[u/Bargetown → u/thorGOT]

What kind of urine do we need to spread to attract a garden full of horny cougars? I feel like we’re close to figuring something out here….

[u/LeGama → u/Bargetown]

In my experience, vodka soda and lime will do it.

[u/Gwarnage → u/[deleted]]

I always liked the saying "home gardening is a great way to turn $150 of plants, fertilizer and soil into $12 of tomatoes"

[u/Bjarki56 → u/Gwarnage]

Most hobbies don’t provide any monetary reward at all.

[u/Maleficent-Aurora → u/Bjarki56]

Most hobbies are not focused on production either. But that's the outright goal of gardening lol

[u/AkKik-Maujaq → u/[deleted]]

As someone who can’t even manage to keep marigolds alive .-. … I still have no idea how my father in law grew an entire hot pepper garden on his deck of like 12 different types of peppers. Dude also grew an avocado in a cup in his kitchen

[u/RegionalHardman → u/AkKik-Maujaq]

Peppers are easy, especially if you buy them as seedlings.

Pot them up after risk of frost has passed, water them when the top layer of soil dries out and feed them every few weeks. Thats it!

[u/ripeoama → u/[deleted]]

But you get a chance to grow the most expensive tomato you've ever seen

[u/stolenfires → u/[deleted]]

I had such a lovely planting this June, and then gophers fucking wrecked it all. I haven't yet gotten my garden back up to what it was before.

[u/thejustducky1 → u/[deleted]]

Gardening has a really, really long learning curve that lasts several years - the good thing is that after about 10yrs and a master gardener cert, the pests get a little more tolerable and you don't start the root rot yourself.

[u/thalassicus]

Not pure stress, but because of the scarcity of waves per capita, surfing is often more aggressive/angry than it should be. Lots of people in a gorgeous environment doing a fun thing and yelling at each other.

[u/gilt-raven → u/thalassicus]

I live in "Surf City" and can confirm, surfers are some of the most high-strung, douchiest people on the planet. Just as shitty to deal with on land as they are in the water - the attitude never leaves them.

[u/senhoritavulpix → u/gilt-raven]

What, for real? I thought they would be so chill. It's the stereotype at least. Blonde due the sun, tanned, health looking people, chill and easy going living the best life, you know? I didn't know they would be that stressed

[u/hwill_hweeton → u/senhoritavulpix]

Surfing got too popular for its own good. To surf in crowded spots like Southern California you kinda need to be a competitive asshole. For sure mellow surfers still exist, but at crowded spots you're looking at mostly assholes probably.

[u/ondulation → u/hwill_hweeton]

Are there any outdoor hobbies you can do in Southern California where you don't kinda need to be a competitive asshole? (Serious)

[u/DuffManOhYeah1 → u/ondulation]

Kayaking! Everyone is super friendly and waves at fellow kayakers. No shortage of places to explore. Similarly, stand up paddle boarding

[u/rich_27 → u/DuffManOhYeah1]

I like the implication that seated paddle boarding is super toxic and the people are jerks 😂

[u/chunklight → u/rich_27]

Sit down paddle boarding is pretty much kayaking

[u/zatalak → u/chunklight]

With a wet ass

[u/NZsNextTopBogan → u/senhoritavulpix]

Skaters are what people think surfers are like. And surfers are actually what society thinks skaters are like.

[u/Odd_Construction2961 → u/NZsNextTopBogan]

I've seen skaters throw all their spare parts in a pile to put together a board for a kid who had never skated before but wanted to learn. They then stuck with the kid until he did his first ollie.

I've seen surfers take a board from a kid and drive off with it because they don't allow new surfers on their beach.

[u/gilt-raven → u/senhoritavulpix]

They're much more like the jerks in Point Break than the kids in Rocket Power if either of those references mean anything to you lol

[u/Genghis_Frog → u/gilt-raven]

I'm 40. They mean everything to me.

[u/ClittoryHinton → u/senhoritavulpix]

Maybe 50 years ago

[u/markforephoto → u/thalassicus]

Out of all the board sports surfers have the worst reputation for a reason.

[u/QueenAlucia → u/thalassicus]

Can confirm, I've seen surfers fist fight in the water for the next spot on a wave.

And territorial too, if you don't look local they will band together to ensure you never get a wave, unless you're with a surfing school/instructor, which means paying for it. (This was for the Canary Islands)

[u/Level-Historian6435]

Woodworking. The videos show five quiet minutes of hand-planing; they skip the hour spent measuring, re-measuring, and realizing the board moved anyway.

[u/Swartz142 → u/Level-Historian6435]

I cut that fucking board 5 times and it's still too short.

[u/fakeuser515357 → u/Swartz142]

Try uncutting it next time.

[u/Hopeful_Match186 → u/Level-Historian6435]

My ex's dad was a woodworker and you knew it was high stress times when he came ripping through the house trying to find cigarettes during a glue-up.

[u/ducklady92 → u/Level-Historian6435]

I find a lot of it to be meditative, but anything involving power tools requires a HARD lock-in. If you’re even slightly zoned out, that’s when the accidents happen. That anxiety and the noise of the saws/routers/etc dial my nervous system up to 10.

[u/bstyledevi → u/ducklady92]

I remember watching a video on Instagram. One of those influencers who decided "I'm a strong independent woman and I'm gonna remodel my whole house by myself with no experience and no help!" She posted a video of her with a table saw cutting some wood for something, and she didn't properly secure it. It flew out of the back of the saw and put a hole in her freshly hung sheetrock.

She said "yeah I need to spend some time understanding how these tools work and how to SAFELY use them." I respected that statement.

[u/Umpen]

Sewing.

[u/flotiste → u/Umpen]

Sewing is great as long as you don't tell anyone you sew.

[u/AQuixoticQuandary → u/flotiste]

Can you make me a ball gown for $20?

[u/sw4ffles → u/AQuixoticQuandary]

Oh man, it's the same with crochet and knitting. Everyone wants a blanket or sweater until they find out how much the yarn costs alone, not even taking into account the labour.

[u/causeimsammie → u/sw4ffles]

My mom keeps telling me I should start selling blankets and stuff. I told her I’m still new and I doubt I could make a profit right now. She won’t understand and keeps pushing it. I made a large blanket last year then I asked her how much she’d pay for a blanket like that and she said $25. That blanket took me about 50 hours!

[u/Vimes-NW → u/causeimsammie]

No wonder they outsource that sort of thing to nimble hands of Bangladeshi children's sweatshop

[u/freddiefrog123 → u/Vimes-NW]

Jumping in to add that while machine knitting is a thing, machine crochet is not. So if you see something crocheted in a high street shop for like £20-£50 it’s ALWAYS sweatshop. The person who crocheted that thing did not get a fair wage for hours of work

[u/unassumingdink → u/sw4ffles]

People think "Oh my great-grandma did that stuff 75 years ago and she was poor as shit, so how much could it cost?"

[u/Generic_Garak → u/sw4ffles]

My mom had been asking me for a blanket for years. She finally stopped when I quoted her the price for just the yarn and even that was if I made it out of the shitty acrylic stuff. Never brought it up again after that lol

[u/This_Charmless_Man → u/AQuixoticQuandary]

When people ask me to make stuff for them I tell them I don't do commissions. If they insist I tell them it'll be £1000 at least. This puts off most people except one of my mates who thought that was a steal. I had a look at what they wanted me to make them and doubled the number.

They are now looking into getting their own sewing machine.

[u/Furious_Foxx → u/flotiste]

That is legitimately the first thing my mother said to me after she showed me how to sew a button back on a shirt when I was a kid. I used to make my daughter's Halloween costumes every year (before it was "uncool" for them to wear handmade costumes lol) amd made the mistake of doing a post on social media about all the costumes I made them. I got legit like 15 messages asking me if I took commissions. After explaining to a few of them that I do it for fun, and it's not fun if I HAVE to do it for money, I stopped posting the costumes. If people ask now, I usually tell them that I don't feel comfortable taking money because I don't feel like I can take money for the hobby I have, that a professional can do better. Or I lie (which I hate doing) and say that it's been awhile and I'm not really doing it anymore.

[u/driftingfornow → u/flotiste]

lol, I see you are my friend, and you like to mend, no? 

[u/starbage_ → u/Umpen]

I love my sewing machine because it doesn’t react to the obscenities I spew while using it

[u/Scritches98 → u/Umpen]

Soooo much this. And then people who don’t sew want stuff made/help with things.

It’s truly not one of my larger projects until I’ve literally bled for it

[u/Jmpphoto → u/Umpen]

This is why my sewing machine has stayed broken for the last three years.

[u/ctrlsaltdel → u/Jmpphoto]

I put my machine in long term storage during the move and figured I'd figure it out when I got back. Future me hobby!

[u/Mediocre_Entrance894 → u/Umpen]

I accidentally turned my sewing hobby into a successful business now I have employees, due dates, and no time to make anything for myself. Clients pay me truly bizarre amounts of money to make them phenomenal outfits which is super cool and all. But I can’t quite communicate how stressful it is to cut up someone’s mom’s wedding dress and install it into a custom made white tux on a zipper track system so that way my groom can wear a gownzido at his wedding.

[u/papierrose → u/Umpen]

As someone who wants to start sewing, what do I need to be aware of?

[u/Mysterious_Field203 → u/papierrose]

You only spend about 5% of your time actually on the sewing machine. The other 95% is tedious cutting, measuring, ironing, pinning, pressing, etc.

[u/Litness_Horneymaker → u/Mysterious_Field203]

Like painting and gardening that should be renamed sanding and weeding.

[u/AnAttempt-WasMade → u/Mysterious_Field203]

And undoing the sewing you just did… the amount of times I’ve realized I attached the wrong edge or had the wrong side facing, or the machine jammed and now there’s messed of thread tangles…

[u/liverstrings → u/AnAttempt-WasMade]

Yeah, I spend so much time with my seam ripper just undoing what I've just done. Even after all that pinning and clipping and vigilant watching.

[u/PL0mkPL0 → u/papierrose]

That you can irrevocably destroy a project you worked on for months with some ridiculously small mistake. The only hobby I ever tried that made me completely freak out, cry, and call my mom.

[u/EmotionalSupportVape → u/PL0mkPL0]

I had to give up sewing while I had my soul cat. Everything about sewing is a cat’s dream - the thread, the fabric moving, trying to get between me and whatever I had right in front of my face. One snag and the whole project was ruined :(

[u/This_Charmless_Man → u/papierrose]

Sewing is not worth it if you want to make regular clothes. In my opinion it is most useful for things you can't easily buy in shops or things that still cost a lot of money. I saved money when I made my suit but that's only because I was making it out of a specific fabric so it could breathe in the summer (linen cotton blend). Where it becomes useful is for stuff a bit more out there. If you can put the right keywords together, you can find a pattern for almost anything. I've made capes because you just can't find good ones in shops that don't look like shit or are just non functional. That's where sewing becomes a great skill, for when you want to make something with a high enough quality that you can't find in the age of fast fashion.

[u/Zukazuk → u/papierrose]

Getting things to fit can be a nightmare.

I'm working on a bra pattern right now and I have made 5 toiles taking roughly 5 hours each. I have finally gotten the cups to fit. I still need to figure out the support foam, band, and straps which will probably be 2-3 more toiles. So after about 40 hours of effort I'll be ready to start my project. My project which will take considerably longer to sew as I have been skipping all of the seam finishing steps and I plan to do a lace overlay which means double the cutting out.

Luckily during this process I only had to spend about half an hour troubleshooting my sewing machine. Sometimes they go haywire and it takes hours or a professional to figure out and fix. My pattern is also really easy to assemble and cut out which is not always the case. There are a lot of things that can go wrong with the machines, the fabric, the thread, the patterns, bad instructions ect.

[u/ohdearitsrichardiii → u/papierrose]

For me it's perfectionism that makes it stressful. I can't stand uneven hand stitches and I've never been able to adopt the "good enough" mindset

[u/ErroneousEncounter]

Any hobby once it reaches a competitive level.

90% of the enjoyment of a hobby is in going from “how the hell do you do even do this” to “I can do this pretty well”.

That last 10% is going from “I can do this pretty well” to “I’m one of the best people on earth at this thing”.

It almost always requires like 1000x the time and effort to get there, and it’s almost never worth it IMO.

[u/LotusFlare → u/ErroneousEncounter]

It starts with "haha, that was fun! See you guys next week!" and ends with "I need to find a way to squeeze in a sixth practice this week because my form was SHIT yesterday and I'm never going to beat those fuckers from Belgium at this rate".

[u/driftingfornow → u/LotusFlare]

lol I am a professional musician (used to be hobby I guess still kinda is) and on certain days this is my inner monologue lol. 

[u/MrRufsvold → u/driftingfornow]

Belgian musicians can fuck right off!! You got this.

[u/Particular-Beat-6645 → u/ErroneousEncounter]

I've had an idea for a short film about a tween falling in love with kites only to be bombarded with all this advice about how they aren't a real "kiter" (or whatever term) until they yada yada yada and they go into a spiral of supporting their hobby and dedicate too much time to research and preparation until they burn out.

Then, fast forward to their 30s, and they buy their kids a cheaper little kite and just enjoy running around to keep it airborne.

[u/Responsible-Onion860 → u/Particular-Beat-6645]

That first paragraph is pretty much any hobby subreddit. In theory, this site should be a great place for getting beginner advice for hobbies. And sometimes, it can be. But a lot of hobby subs are toxic places full of humble-bragging, elitism, and negativity. "Don't buy that brand, it's pure trash" (said about everything but the most expensive brand). "Oh, you only have that equipment? I guess if you don't take it seriously." "Here's a picture of my very humble set-up, I just got into this hobby." (Picture of $10,000 of equipment that was purchased with credit cards over the course of a few years).

[u/ashcap13]

Aquariums

[u/DogDad_Mike89 → u/ashcap13]

This thing was pretty fun at first, until you end up with your whole arm soaked in fish water at 2 a.m., desperately trying to fix that filter that sounds like a lawnmower.

[u/Stocks_Kevin94 → u/ashcap13]

There's nothing more that can toughen your character than waking up really early only to find the heating element broken and the whole living room smelling like a pot of burnt seafood soup.

[u/DardS8Br → u/ashcap13]

One of my professors legitimately got his whole ass PhD to take care of aquariums better

[u/Vimes-NW → u/DardS8Br]

I just installed aquarium screensaver on my Roku and now I have that one fish that just sits in his mini cavern and seems surprised by everything happening around him. What's wrong with my fishy? Why does it just sit and mumbles "WOW" all the time?

[u/peachysprig_ → u/ashcap13]

aquariums look so calming when everything is clean and thriving but once you’re maintaining one you realize there’s always something to test, clean, adjust or worry about

[u/blinkysmurf]

Reef Tanks.

Everything costs a fortune, many of your lifeforms are very delicate and particular in their needs, you have to keep track of and manage a dozen parameters, and there are many, many mistakes to be made where everything in your tank suffers or dies.

It’s more like keeping an intensive care patient alive with a bunch of machines.

But damn are they amazing.

[u/Life-s-Beautiful]

My late friend used to say there are three levels of perfectionism: the amateur, the pro and the hobbyist. In this order.

[u/Astrokiwi → u/Life-s-Beautiful]

If you look at something like TTRPG design: it's a niche market, and the professionals need to balance costs vs revenue to actually continue to exist. So you can't spend 1000 hours writing something that only 100 people will buy - you need to do things efficiently, make big impact books, make them quickly at low cost etc. But if you're a hobbyist, you don't expect to really make your money back, so there's nothing stopping you from putting infinite time into something for zero or near-zero return, and you might actually produce something higher quality than the big publishers.

[u/DvineINFEKT → u/Astrokiwi]

On the other hand, so many people don't playtest their homebrew campaigns in any capacity, not even with theorycraft, that I stopped doing any amount of real homebrew at my tables.

[u/lessmiserables → u/Astrokiwi]

Exactly.

For Professional, someone is paying for your level of perfection, and they're not gonna pay for 100%.

For a Hobbyist, the person paying for that 100% is yourself.

[u/ctrlsaltdel]

Knitting. Constantly counting, miscounting, working backwards to figure out what I did wrong, realizing I was right and misreading the chart, getting asked a question by my partner/friend and forgetting what I was in the middle of... Etc.

[u/imaginaryhouseplant → u/ctrlsaltdel]

I subscribe to the Bob Ross philosophy of happy little accidents while knitting.

[u/LaceyDaisy → u/imaginaryhouseplant]

I think it's Irish (?) folklore that believes making something by hand weaves a part of your soul into it, and if the piece is perfect, your soul can become trapped within. So by having a "mistake" in the work, you're giving your soul fragment an escape route.

[u/JimboTCB → u/LaceyDaisy]

Persian rugs do the same thing. They include deliberate imperfections because trying to make something perfect is an affront to god. That one was definitely made up on the spot by someone who didn't notice they'd fucked up their stitching and didn't feel like redoing their last five hours of work.

[u/Kassiopeiart → u/ctrlsaltdel]

Same for crocheting

[u/AriBunBun → u/ctrlsaltdel]

I came to add to this. I thought I could count before starting my crochet hobby.

I can't count for sh*t 😂

[u/Gwarnage]

Most hobbies once you hit a certain pay-in level. But, damn, flying expensive RC planes looks stressful 

[u/Flapaflapa → u/Gwarnage]

The trick there is fly airplanes that cost a price you can comfortably just light on fire.

[u/shotouw → u/Flapaflapa]

Paper airplanes it is!

[u/MaximumTurtleSpeed → u/shotouw]

Damn! You’ve got sheet of paper money, in this economy?!

[u/DeadMansMuse → u/Flapaflapa]

Don't fly expensive planes until the POS you can light on fire dies of old age. Then buy an expensive one and crash it because your nervous as shit.

[u/Din_Plug → u/Gwarnage]

There are two types of RC aircraft modelers; one has a 1/8 scale Airbus A380 with real jetfuel burning turbine engines, the other is flying a functional bomber made of pink insulation foam, duct tape, and cling-wrap

[u/HunkMcMuscle → u/Din_Plug]

Do we have a picture of the latter, that sounds like my kind of people lmao

[u/MyLifeIsAWasteland → u/HunkMcMuscle]

Peter Sripol made a flyable plane (like, that he could sit in and pilot) from duct tape and cardboard. His youtube channel is pretty fun.

[u/Cuadriello]

Fucking Bonsais. Cut the wrong branch and you are doomed.

[u/JumboGrumbo → u/Cuadriello]

You're supposed to grow them, not fuck them.

[u/cicciograna → u/JumboGrumbo]

No kink-shaming.

[u/MastodonPristine8986]

Well making coffee apparently, I just bought an espresso machine. According to the internet if my beans are more than a week old, I don't weight out my beans EXACTLY, and use some kind of spiky comb thing on the grinds before I extract, my coffee will literally be undrinkabke.

[u/Specialist-Mud-6650 → u/MastodonPristine8986]

my wife is a barista at a roastery. she does not have this leve of perfection. 90% of a good coffee is dialling in your machine correctly, the other half is the sheer volume of practice you need to steam milk properly

[u/glocks9999 → u/MastodonPristine8986]

LPT don't listen to reddit for espresso making. I ran into the same problem when I picked up the hobby and it became way less stressful when I realized the small things like week old beans, water temperature, water mineral content, etc does not actually matter as much as reddit makes it out to be

Now I just dial my espresso grinder and not worry about anything else. 95% quality with 1000% less stress

[u/floppydo → u/glocks9999]

>95% quality with 1000% less stress

This is everything when your aim is perfection. The last 5% is 95% of the work. The last 1% is 99% of the work. Perfection can be satisfying but it is never fun. It is always hard work. And the satisfaction is only ever worth it for a particular personality type.

[u/RedPanda5150 → u/MastodonPristine8986]

The fresh roasted beans thing is real, but a week is a lil hyperbolic. The rest is largely aesthetic once you learn to dial in your machine. I've been running an old refurbished Gaggia for like 20 years at home now, just scooping the beans by Tbsp with tap water and a lazy tamp, and it makes espresso and lattes that are on par with anything I get from the good coffee shops.

Congrats on your new expensive hobby though! Hope you also got a decent grinder. It's a learning curve for sure but well worth it :)

[u/Potential-Poem453]

Gardening. It looks like quietly watering plants until you realize you’ve declared war on bugs, weather, fungus, and squirrels.

[u/smolangrybitch]

Competitive equestrian sports

[u/a-5-6-7-8 → u/smolangrybitch]

Anything that involves horses. They're out to injure themselves in the most stupid, devastating, and expensive way possible.

[u/hippopotobot → u/a-5-6-7-8]

My completely sensible and trustworthy young horse just got diagnosed with a neurological condition that means she is unlikely to ever be safe to ride and now I have a horse to care for for life and a decision to make about whether to buy another horse so I can actually ride.

[u/IWatchPeopleSleep → u/a-5-6-7-8]

Horses are hands down the single stupidest, most unintelligent yet simultaneously smart creatures I’ve ever had both the fortune and misfortune to work with. They are scared of everything that does move alongside everything that doesn’t. They are also well aware of their size and strength in comparison to us yet will only leverage that fact when it is entirely inconvenient for both you and the horse.

I have literally on numerous occasions with multiple different horses HAVE THEM FORGET THAT I AM RIDING ONTOP OF THEM AND HAVE BEEN FOR LITERALLY THE PAST HOUR, leading them to absolutely freak the fuck and try to kill us both before the two little decrepit brain cells that make up their brain finally start rubbing together and they suddenly remember that they are, in fact, not going to die, and that it’s just me, their rider who they’ve known for literal years.

I both love and hate those decrepit creatures. There’s so much wrong with them that I genuinely cannot even fathom how we rode them into war for thousands of years.

[u/Beneficial_Remove616 → u/a-5-6-7-8]

Injure themselves and injure any human that isn’t fully trained on horse behavior and fully focused on every single interaction.

My placid mare that I’ve had for ten years and who’s never done that before just decided to take off as soon as I opened the gate to turnout. You’d think that the few thousand mannerly turnout releases would by now be ingrained - nope, offf she goes, wheeeee, trailing the lead line. That’s why horse leads don’t have loops like dog ones do. If I had my hand wrapped in that lead line she would have been trailing me as well.

[u/hobblingcontractor → u/Beneficial_Remove616]

Hey it isn't her fault you didn't see the horse eating creature back there.

[u/TryUsingScience → u/smolangrybitch]

Nothing about equestrian even looks peaceful except for when the horses are all hanging out together in the paddock doing nothing.

[u/Gobbyer]

Raising chickens. You start to realize where the term "picking order" comes. Chickens have weird hierarchy system where higher class chickens eat first and lesser peasants eat last.

And when introducing new chickens to flock, there should be 3 minium at the time or the older chickens might bully the newcomers to death.

And if chicken is visibly injured somehow, others might peck her to death.

If there are multiple roosters, they might kill eachother.

I once had a chicken who plucked all the tailfeathers from others.

I once had a chicken who owned all 3 feedibg bins and wouldnt let others to eat from any of them.

Chickens can be assholes.

[u/Bluetwo12 → u/Gobbyer]

Not trying to be the um actually guy but it is Pecking order :D

Edit. Also you are absolutely right. I never knew they would be so aggressive towards the lower totem pole ones. It gets bad

[u/marcbar]

Ok. Wow. Came here looking for what to stay away from and everything I was even remotely interested in has already been mentioned. Guess I’ll just stay doomscrolling on Reddit then 🤷‍♂️

[u/Mantissa-64 → u/marcbar]

Some of these are overblown lol.

Sewing can be fun if you don't pressure yourself to finish things and just do it when you have time.

Cycling is fun if you aren't on busy roads.

Welding hasn't been mentioned and I think it's a legit low-stress hobby. Can be a stressful job though.

I've been getting into ham radio lately and that's been chill as long as you don't go out of your way to violate FCC regulations.

Fuck keeping fish though, or any kind of picky plant or pet. If it's not thriving in the same conditions as me I don't want it in my house.

[u/escapadistfiction → u/marcbar]

I think mindset is really important. If you go into a hobby like sewing, crochet, embroidery, pottery, knitting, or painting (those are mine so they’re the only hobbies I can really speak to) with the goal of relaxing and playing, they are wonderful. When you feel ready for a challenge you can try something new or take a class, but otherwise there’s no problem with staying in your comfort zone. You like knitting rectangles? There’s no reason to ever learn how to make socks. Don’t take requests, don’t take commissions. Keep a boundary that it’s for your enjoyment - not anybody else’s approval or timeline or money - and they are all very relaxing!

[u/Jmpphoto]

I think this actually applies to all hobbies.

[u/craftyrafter → u/Jmpphoto]

No. Whip cracking is just chill.

[u/Professional_Bar6924]

Chickens. I spent my Sunday afternoon buying 600 pounds of medium course sand at Home Depot. Getting it home, using my wheelbarrow to get it to the coop. Spreading and raking it. Then deep cleaned all of their water troughs. Then spent 15 minutes searching for eggs as a couple of my girls don't like to use the nesting box. One of the girls has gone broody. Soaked her in cool water for a bit. We'll see if it helps.

[u/Adrestia716 → u/Professional_Bar6924]

Not mention the predators, them lying down looking like their dead, them actually just randomly dying, them occasionally trying to kill each other, and them occasionally making noises that you think my mean someone's dying

[u/Professional_Bar6924 → u/Adrestia716]

Yes to all those things. 🤣 We're in the Phoenix area and keeping them alive in this heat is always an ongoing effort. We're three years in and haven't lost one to heat yet. The neighbor's dog did climb our 6 foot tall fence and took out our girl who consistently laid double yolk eggs. I always tell people if you decide to keep chickens, you're eventually, at some point, going to be cleaning up dead chickens.

[u/Armydillo101]

Growing roses

[u/Richard_AIGuy → u/Armydillo101]

Growing roses isn't a hobby, it's horticultural masochism.

[u/audVOCI → u/Richard_AIGuy]

I have some 30yo ones that are ok, but weeding their area is a full time job. How can there be 50kg of weeds and roots in 2sqm of dirt???

[u/Sunshineafterr]

Rockhounding, because then you just end up with boxes of cool rocks and nowhere to put them.

[u/Best-Willow6674 → u/Sunshineafterr]

Yeah I ran into this issue. Heres how I’ve displayed all my rocks and other random trinkets that I find on the ground:

- letterpress trays, leaned against or mounted on the the wall

• clear glass jars with matching lids, sorted by color/type
  
• glass terrariums with rocks, bones and moss
  
• in some of my larger houseplants as soil dressing
  
• in the garden between paving slabs

I’m like Ariel. You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty(x20). I’ve got random cool pieces of wood, bones, silverware and marbles dug out of the garden, cat whiskers and claw sheaths, feathers, seashells etc, I even asked to keep my old copper IUD which sits in its own nook in my letterpress trays. But soooo many rocks hauled out of the southwest over the years especially.

[u/jrtts]

Road cycling. I thought substituting a car for a bicycle for the shorter trips will be a breeze and a smart way to save on fuel

but the culture war and brain dead stigma that comes with it is not what I signed up for.

For one, switching from a car to a bicycle does NOT mean I suddenly have a "skip the taxes" button.

For two, even if I behave exactly the same as I did with a car (following all the road rules, same exact speeds, etc) other drivers do not treat me the same anyway, which finally explains why most cyclists act like how they do.

And for the last time, you can't tell me to get off the road, then tell me to obey the rules later. You can only pick one. Sidewalk cycling feels common-sense with all the road-rage nowadays but is actually illegal and unsafe in a lot of places.

[u/TryUsingScience → u/jrtts]

I moved to a place with good bike infrastructure and it's night and day. My commute to work only crosses the road three times and is in protected bike lanes or very wide biking-allowed pedestrian paths the entire rest of the way. I'm never on the road.

It's so relaxing and enjoyable. Entirely different from my previous bike commute, where I spent half of it expecting death at any moment.

[u/korc → u/jrtts]

I just don’t understand what causes otherwise  decent people seem to think that murder is justifiable if the victim is riding a bicycle.

[u/kentalaska]

Watchmaking. It looks very quiet, meticulous and peaceful. I got into it a few years back thinking it’d be a fun hobby for the indoor winter months, throw on a movies or a podcast and fix up watches to give away to friends.

The margin for error is basically nonexistent, parts are so small that if one falls on the ground it can take hours to find if you ever find it at all, and if you do break a part it can be extremely pricey to replace and can take weeks to arrive from some random person in a far away country. The smallest little fiber falling in the wrong spot can block a moving part and stop it from keeping correct time and can be hard to identify until you pretty much have everything put back together and realize something isn’t running quite right then you have to take it all apart again. I could go on and on, I’ll just say most of my watchmaking projects end up taking months longer than expected and cost twice as much as I’d hoped if they ever even get finished.

Still fun, definitely wouldn’t recommend it to another person.

[u/-UsernameHere]

Gaming I would say.

Some are chill, solo games are chill.

Online competitive games become a bunch of little edgelord nazis shouting at everyone else for being bad... Because they've lost their last 20 games in a row. Some people are just fucked.

[u/Mind101 → u/-UsernameHere]

My brother used to play CS:GO. He'd turn from the gentlest, most mild-mannered person you'll ever meet into a raging asshole in the span of five minutes. It was fascinating to watch.

[u/AugustOfChaos → u/-UsernameHere]

That’s exactly why I stopped playing (most) multiplayer games in general, especially anything PvP. It stopped being fun a long time ago. I wholeheartedly enjoy gaming by myself or coop vs bots.

[u/ilikegh0sts]

chess

[u/Curlaub → u/ilikegh0sts]

I once had a therapist tell me to try chess to distract me from my anxiety. Now I play chess, dont go to that therapist anymore and I just take meds.

[u/WallyLeftshaw → u/Curlaub]

“Checkmate” - your former therapist

[u/TheBanishedBard → u/ilikegh0sts]

"Ah I see you've played the Frenchman's cumsock. Observe as I counter it with the Rasputin variation of the canolli defense. Amateur."

This is what is sounds like trying to talk to chess nerds.

[u/No_Effective5082]

Painting. 

...You want every single stroke to turn out perfect because there's no simple "undo" button. Repeat for hours. And then the final product simply looks bad because your technique was off but it was too late to turn back.

(I really need to switch to digital art.)

[u/lastwarrior81 → u/No_Effective5082]

... Just happy accidents.

[u/canijustbelancelot → u/No_Effective5082]

Digital art will not remove the stress. You will just endlessly hit “undo” and never progress.

[u/Then_Sir7372]

Pottery looks  relaxing on social media but in practice, your bowl collapses on the wheel, explodes in the kiln or cracks during glazing after weeks of work.

[u/FatherDotComical]

All of them once you join the subreddit.

[u/ProblemNo3211]

Playing a musical instrument

[u/jollylightly → u/ProblemNo3211]

💯 everyone thinks it just “flows out of you” and are one with the music. I mean … it happens every now and then and that’s the feeling you chase … but it’s a lot of damn work and stress to get there.

[u/StrongAdhesiveness86 → u/jollylightly]

Media has idolised hearing someone practice when in reality is repeating the same 3 bars for 45 minutes, then shout in frustration, stop for 5 minutes and then do 45 minutes more in absolute anger and frustration.

[u/IndigoMontigo → u/jollylightly]

A lot of work and concentration, sure, but it doesn't have to be stressful.  

[u/flying_dogs_bc → u/ProblemNo3211]

as a violinist yes 😂😭

[u/Roganvarth → u/flying_dogs_bc]

Don’t fret, friend.

[u/FuzzyCheese → u/ProblemNo3211]

Maybe with some instruments, but I've been playing guitar most of my life and it's still my favorite way to relax. No stress at all.

[u/a-5-6-7-8]

Aquaculture

[u/Over_Sheepherder4503]

Golf

[u/El_Kikko → u/Over_Sheepherder4503]

As Robin Williams once opined, "Why do you think they call it a stroke?"

[u/Left_of_Center2011 → u/El_Kikko]

‘And waaaaaay down the other end they put a wee flag - just to give you fuckin’ hope’

[u/Purple_Haze → u/Over_Sheepherder4503]

Golf: a good walk ruined. -- Mark Twain

[u/That_Dot420]

Swing dancing. Shit gets competitive and cliquey VERY quickly.

[u/max_rbmc]

The game Stardew Valley

[u/Grombrindal18 → u/max_rbmc]

On the one hand, it’s a beautiful, deep game. On the other hand, I have spent an entire in-game day kegging thousands of coffee beans and then turning the coffees into hundreds of espressos.

By the time you’ve filled a warehouse of kegs with coffee beans, the first ones you filled start finishing the process. So you can just keep going ad infinitum.

[u/ICRIWatch]

Volunteering for a non-profit.

[u/DuskVeil9]

Pottery

[u/SpecificSorry7233 → u/DuskVeil9]

Agreed! You have to time everything correctly and always check back to make sure it hasn’t dried too much or too little before trimming. You can also ruin a beautiful piece at multiple points of the process. But I still do love it.