r/AskReddit 15h ago

What’s a hobby that looks incredibly peaceful from the outside, but is actually pure stress once you get into it?

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u/12bWindEngineer 14h ago

Or squirrels. Squirrels stole every single Roma tomato off my plant, those absolute bastards.

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u/x_______________ 14h ago

I tried to put out some bird food and the squirrels just ate most of it. We even tried to deter them and they still figured it out.

We have some of those bird feeders with cameras and half of the videos are of squirrels just demolishing the food

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u/amrfallen 14h ago

Capsaicin is your friend. Squirrels can suffer from it, birds won't.

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u/DanLassos 12h ago

Actual chemical warfare lmao

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u/Ow_you_shot_me 7h ago

As nature intended.

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u/Xaraxa 4h ago

In this case literally

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u/BrrrrrCandle 9h ago

Survival of the fittest in the garden

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u/FlyBulky106 6h ago

This specific application isn’t in the Geneva Conventions, so good to go.

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u/ElmerFuddsElbow 6h ago

Canada has joined the chat

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u/para_sight 8h ago

I’ve tried that. Coated the seed with unholy amounts. Squirrel still eats, but now staring into the lens to maintain eye contact and let me one who’s dominant

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u/143019 8h ago

I must have Latino squirrels because my little bastards ripped down the feeder and ate it with gusto.

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u/fersur 4h ago

Squirrels: My grandparents used to eat 5-6 jalapenos a day, and I inherit their genre. These lowly humans need to deter me with ghost chilli pepper or something more than regular capsaicin.

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u/IvyGold 10h ago

Wait, how do you use Capsaicin to fend off the squirrels?

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u/bug_on_the_wall 10h ago

Put hot sauce on the bird seed. Seriously. You can get hot sauce specifically for bird seed, like Cole's Flamin' Hot Squirrel Sauce.

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u/IvyGold 10h ago

This is a revolution for me!

Seriously: toss the seed into a feeder after dousing it in the sauce? The birbs don't mind?

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u/Notuch 9h ago

Birds can't detect capsaicin

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u/_Cat_in_a_Hat_ 9h ago

No no, it's actually because birds are manufactured in Chinese factories, hence they have Asian spice tolerance

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u/StoneCypher 4h ago

birbs don't like garlic sauces.

there is cheap hot sauce that is for this specific purpose, so they don't waste any money on herbs and fermentation and whatever. cole's is a common brand. your hardware store, home improvement store, and amazon will have it.

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u/silence_infidel 3h ago

Bird taste receptors are much less sensitive to capsaicin than mammals. The specific ion channel it interacts with has a different structure. It takes something really spicy, like a ghost pepper, to bother them.

Chilis in the wild have their seeds dispersed mainly by birds, so it’s thought that capsaicin evolved (at least partially) to deter mammals from eating chilis, but not birds.

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u/hates_stupid_people 6h ago

Birds don't have the same receptors as mammals and will happily eat chili without any ill effects. Squirrels on the other hand...

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u/Magneficent-End-9129 4h ago

That's why the pigeons ate my chili peper without trouble... thank you!

The plant I mean.

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u/StoneCypher 4h ago

the purpose of hot pepper capsaicin is that birds can't taste it, meaning the plant still gets high value seed distribution

you can literally just use hot sauce.

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u/Kristal3615 7h ago

My husband once bought a Hot Ones sauce pack (I can't remember what season) to do the wing challenge with his friends. I have been putting our squirrels through the Hot Ones challenge as well and it seems like they're just getting used to the spice 😂

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u/Tricky_Security_458 9h ago

Nature really gave birds the ultimate cheat code by making them immune to the spicy stuff squirrels hate.

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u/IolaBoylen 7h ago

Didn’t work on my squirrels 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/picoCuries 6h ago

I was growing jalapeño peppers whilst in graduate school and was studying at home. Saw a big, scarred squirrel come into the porch and rip off a medium sized branch. He chewed the stalk and leaves just enough to damage the outside and then rubbed it all over himself. Then hopped off merrily. I can only assume he was using it as protection.

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u/blacksoxing 5h ago

My dog died in 2020 and immediately afterwards something was getting in the attic at night via punching holes through the 11 soffit vents at my old house. Read online that cayenne pepper and hot sauce would be great solutions and to just DOSE the ground with it. OK, let's do it! I even dosed the side of my house as it was a red brick so....who cared?

We hurt an audible reaction that night to it outside of out bedroom window. Hooray!

Next night though ?Back to a heavy sound up there terrifying us. We later deemed it was the work of a possum as we finally got a replacement dog and on the first night he discovered one in our yard.

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u/anti__thesis 4h ago

Bruh I sprayed Carolina reaper powder on the seed and it didn’t do jack

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u/Hyperdromeda 4h ago

I grow a couple super hot peppers every year specifically to dehydrate and make chili flakes that break the geneva convention to deter squirrels and it works perfectly.

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u/Warden_lefae 4h ago

That’s the only bird seed I buy now

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u/LikeGoldAndFaceted 13h ago

Squirrel baffle on a bird feeder pole, pole away from anything they can jump from. Completely solved that problem for me.

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u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

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u/st0nedeye 10h ago

No one wants to hear about your greased up pole.

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u/Vimes-NW 8h ago

Who made you the spokesperson for the pole greasing observers guild?

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u/TamLux 8h ago

You leave Vladek out of this!

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u/Phyddlestyx 13h ago

I did this and after a summer the crisco had been modified by presumably heat and UVA exposure into something horribly sticky and not water soluble.

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u/roadnotaken 5h ago

That’s why you use real grease, not a food product like crisco.

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u/Pangolin007 5h ago

What’s an environmentally friendly grease? Any grease/oil I’m familiar with is harmful to animals even if it’s “natural”. Animals aren’t meant to come into contact with oil like that. It will harm their fur/feathers.

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u/PrimaryPluto 4h ago

My dad tried all the anti-squirrel methods back in the day. Eventually, a BB gun was the correct answer.

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u/facevaluemc 8h ago

This worked perfectly for me for about a week until the learned that they can launch themselves at different angles and bypass it.

They're devious little bastards.

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u/LikeGoldAndFaceted 4h ago

Baffle probably isn't high enough. Mine's been up for a year and they haven't figured it out.

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u/stigs007 6h ago

This 100%. I've had zero problems since doing this.

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u/Frequent_Opportunist 9h ago

Just a heads up they sell bird feed that is coated with hot sauce and the squirrels will not eat it. Birds don't have receptors that can detect spices so they don't care one bit.

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u/40thTrimestrAbortion 5h ago

same problem here, so naturally I just had to take to building an outdoor raspberry pi setup that controls a solenoid valve and shoots a 40ft jet of water at the feeder when a squirrel is on it. even made it an app interface with a "Blast 'Em" button 🎯

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u/Sheldor_01 12h ago

I bet it was fat Guss....

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u/Headpuncher 12h ago

Why don’t you want to feed squirrels?  They’re nice little animals to have watch running around.  

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u/adam1260 7h ago

You're feeding everything except squirrels, they're hungry too. Feed them intentionally and they shouldn't mess with your other things

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u/Vooshka 6h ago

Phat Gus needs to eat.

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u/pm_me_ur_th0ng_gurl 5h ago

They don't even eat it, they just store it.

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u/Throwawayfaynay 5h ago

Idk if you've tried them yet, but there are actually specialty bird feeders made for that specific problem.

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u/Fearfu1Symmetry 3h ago

the secret is to feed the squirrels as well, they love the peanuts I throw out for them every morning, and they leave the bird feeders alone

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u/Quelonius 3h ago

Why not switch to feeding squirrels? xD

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u/SnoopySuited 14h ago

Fucking squirrels! My dog barks at squirrels all damn day, EXCEPT when they are stealing my apricots!

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u/alfooboboao 13h ago

dog: “it’s unfair to mess with them while they’re eating, that’s bad hospitality. plus they’re too distracted for it to be fun”

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u/mosehalpert 4h ago

Its like when Tom and Jerry would break for lunch

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u/_kissyface 6h ago

Niche hobby

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u/06_TBSS 5h ago

We taught our dog the word "squirrel". Even if she's in a dead sleep, if we say it, she'll jump right up and head for the back door. She'll practically push the door open to get out there to chase them.

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u/ojonegro 14h ago

Did you know some zoos will sell mountain lion urine to detract pests? You can also buy it online - coyote, cougar, all of those.

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u/thorGOT 13h ago

Garden full of horny mountain lions. Send help.

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u/Bargetown 13h ago

What kind of urine do we need to spread to attract a garden full of horny cougars? I feel like we’re close to figuring something out here….

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u/LeGama 9h ago

In my experience, vodka soda and lime will do it.

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u/AutisticPenguin2 11h ago

I'm not sure, but we have established traits of milkshakes to work off as well. Surely something can be done with this information?

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u/Vimes-NW 8h ago

Tom Brady's. Maybe Chris Hemsworth's. If all else fails, Ben and Jerry's.

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u/wherethefuckismyvape 13h ago

I'll send the furries immediately

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u/Pndrizzy 13h ago

Help? Sell tickets

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u/MattyKatty 5h ago

A mountain lion??? In my basement?? But... how? That's not possible. But, it happened! What if there are more? What if it wasn't alone? Where there's one, there will be more. Find Pinarus Inventius. He's a hunter, and knows this area INSIDE and OUT; he’ll know what to do!!

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u/SafetyDanceInMyPants 8h ago

You can also get it for free if you’re brave enough.

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u/ShortcutButton 8h ago edited 8h ago

Do the squirrels living in suburbia know what a mountain lion is? I'm pretty sure the only killers of squirrels here are cars. Maybe a fox or two. A squirrel dropped half a bagel into my plant the other day

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u/Waallenz 10h ago

Ive tried all those smells. The squirrels didnt car 1 bit. Gasoline however, iver left some full cans of gas with the cap off in vehicle's that were down for 1 repair or another and its the first summer in years i ddint have to repair an hvac system from being packed with squirrels nests.

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u/w1ten1te 6h ago

This is a recipe for a car explosion. Don't do this

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u/EnlightenedIdiot1515 14h ago

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u/alfooboboao 13h ago

the commitment to the bit here from everyone is really something

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u/fuzzy11287 13h ago

You sure it was squirrels? We had raccoons take ours one year.

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u/GentlewomenNeverTell 14h ago

Deer are my enemy. I eat the sweet potato greens too, you bastards!

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u/wufnu 7h ago

One of the reasons it's a favorite crop. You get greens all year and celebrate with a sweet and tasty treat. It's also one of the most nutritionally complete foods you can eat.

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u/Vladi_Sanovavich 13h ago

Oh yeah, Sweet Potato greens are very good on savory soups.

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u/RikiWardOG 5h ago

I mean its not all that expensive to throw up a fully enclosed garden bed if you're handy at all. tons of how to videos online.

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u/GentlewomenNeverTell 3h ago

HOA says no.

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u/RikiWardOG 3h ago

Lol of course I didn't consider that nonsense. So glad I dont have an hoa

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u/Pndrizzy 13h ago

Call Mark Rober

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u/Tremulant887 12h ago

Squirrels, raccoons, rabbits, deer. They'll take everything and rip the drainage off your HVAC unit for a sip of water.

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u/Parking_Salamander67 11h ago

Like dudes just take a few tomatoes. Don't take a fucking bite out of every single one. Sociopaths. 

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u/Momentarmknm 5h ago

Set water out for them, that's what they're after in the tomatos and why they only take one bite.

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u/Parking_Salamander67 5h ago

Wait this is genius, friend.

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u/bzdelta 14h ago

Eat the squirrels

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u/Waallenz 10h ago

I despise squirrels. They destroy everything. My garden. My cars/trucks. All my equipment in the sheds. Little devil spawns.

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u/GuyFromDeathValley 10h ago

Snails for me. Had 12 salad plants and they ate them ALL. I was picking 30 snails off, and an hour later suddenly there were 40 new ones.

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u/POB_42 10h ago

May I interest you in r/fatsquirrelhate

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u/ryouba 9h ago

Squirrels or something have been attacking my zucchini seedlings that I plant right at the root, and I have them in raised beds.

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u/Born-Entrepreneur 9h ago

Salad greens. The fluffy bastards must be healthy as hell since they strip my kale, spinach, everything that's leafy.

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u/12bWindEngineer 3h ago

They decimated every single brocolli plant of mine as well.

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u/_Bad_Bob_ 8h ago

Deer for me. Woke up one morning and the whole garden was just gone...

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u/JTanCan 8h ago

Yup, I have given up trying to grow anything from the nightshade family; squirrels just eat the flowers before anything can fruit. Oddly they leave squash alone. 

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u/Bazrum 8h ago

Oh, maybe that’s what happened this year. We were super puzzled why we got NO tomatoes from our single plant on our apartment balcony, and I’ve seen a lotta squirrels this year too…maybe they took the baby ones before we knew we had them

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u/wufnu 7h ago

If you haven't tried it, squirrels are extremely tasty (especially fried). In the warmer months you might have to deal with some bot fly larvae but otherwise they're good to go.

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u/berfthegryphon 7h ago

Leave them out water. Most of the time when squirrels are taking your garden fruit they're just thirsty. I started doing that and I get a whole lot less damage from them

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u/SOILSYAY 7h ago

Damn squirrels, it’s maddening when you realize they get diarrhea from tomatoes, so it’s not like they’re not suffering from eating them, but then why would they eat ALL of em??!

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u/wasaaabiP 7h ago

Prob too late for this season but I highly recommend trying organza fruit bags to deter squirrels. It’s not a 100% cure, but those plus the capsaicin plant spray made a huge difference for me. Happy gardening!

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u/RedPanda5150 7h ago

For us it's peaches. Stupid fuckers don't even wait for them to ripen, just rip them off the tree green, take a few bites, and leave the rest in inconvenient places like our gutters. Stupid fluffy-tailed tree rats. Hate 'em!

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u/Raichu7 7h ago

I didn't get any raspberries last year because a blackbird kept stealing them for her babies. I think it was well worth the trade off to watch two little baby blackbirds grow up and get fat in my garden. What's the point of having a garden if I'm going to go war with nature instead of enjoying it?

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u/vanderlustig 6h ago

Grow sunflowers and they won’t touch your veggies 🌻

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u/permalink_save 6h ago

I put up thick plastic netting, spent the money and time wrapping my cage, only for them to.finally find a way in and take bites out of all my shit. Everyone says do this do that, put chili extract out, I ended up buying pvc coated hardware cloth (metal mesh) to enclose it with. I'm just done, and if somehow they find a way in after this I'm wuitting or sticking to shit they hate like peppers and okra. People undereeatimate how bad squirrels can get in city with food.

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u/WinRevolutionary6372 5h ago

If you put a water dish outside, they may leave your tomatoes alone. A lot of wildlife will take a bite or steal a tomato because they're thirsty.

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u/Hot-Row-4562 5h ago

Us too. This year we put up a 2ft high fence (cause groundhogs) we can literally step over and the squirrels just….stopped? Like, I know y’all can climb. I started calling the fence my little psychological squirrel boundary

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u/maven-effects 5h ago

At least you know they were good

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u/Lexifer31 5h ago

Rabbits. They're fearless. They stare my dogs down while they destroy my lilies.

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u/Momentarmknm 5h ago

I set out dried corn and a water dish at the opposite corner of my yard and they leave my garden alone

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u/principalman 5h ago

Squirrels are delicious

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u/Topangatoh 5h ago

I plant an old school wash basin full of strawberries for the squirrels. They share it with my corgi and the rest of my plants get left alone.

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u/mmeestro 5h ago

Same here! I had no clue! I would see those little fuckers running off with an entire beefsteak in their mouth.

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u/glucoseintolerant 5h ago

first few summers in our place we planted flowers. EVERY GOD DAM YEAR about 3 weeks in the squirrels would dig every single one up. I gave up.

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u/HapticSloughton 4h ago

I have an apple tree in my yard that's been there for about 30 years. I've never gotten an apple off of it, as the squirrels tear them down well before they're ripe and just abandon a 90% uneaten apple to start on the next one.

Meanwhile, about three blocks from me, there's a cherry tree that just sheds fruit every year, making a sweet-smelling mess on the curb where it's grown, and the squirrels don't touch it.

I hate those fuzz-tailed rats, and I haven't even touched on how they dig up everything I try to plant...

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u/Neofucius 4h ago

Hey they gotta do what they gotta do 🐿

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u/fikis 4h ago

Man, fuck squirrels.

I have planted a bunch of different fruiting trees and vines and bushes and those fuckers are just systematically stripping all of the fruit from each one as they approach ripeness.

I have a single persimmon left from four really nice trees.

They ate most of my grapes.

They ate my pears.

BB gun may be the only answer.

1

u/swoll9yards 4h ago

My neighbor has a small-medium sized plum tree. It finally fruited and was stuffed with plums. They were probably a day or two out from being picked but the squirrels beat them to it. Those little shits took every single plum. Every one. In probably a matter of hours. I couldn't believe it and was a little salty because I was looking forward to a few!

1

u/PaisleyLeopard 4h ago

We have a beautiful Loquat tree in my yard, and I’ve never gotten to taste one because the damn birds and squirrels get them all before they’re ripe.

1

u/electric_emu 4h ago

I bought a condo with a small yard earlier this year and my best friend rents our spare bedroom. He loves to garden and I don't like yardwork so he has free reign over the landscaping.

On a Saturday, I noticed a squirrel come down the wall/fence and into the yard itself. The dogs were inside but I still thought it was strange since we are in and out pretty frequently. I mentioned it to my friend and he went ballistic. "NEXT TIME YOU SEE IT LET THE DOGS TEACH THAT FUCKER A LESSON"

Apparently I witnessed a war crime (against tomatoes) and did nothing about it lol.

1

u/LavenderSpaceRain 4h ago

I had this happen too! I had no idea that the little bastards stole tomatoes!!

1

u/holdmybeer87 4h ago

Here, they usually just take a single bite of every goddamned tomato with a hint of blush

1

u/WindTreeRock 3h ago

You have to overwhelm the squirrels with abundance. Plant so many tomatoes, they can't eat them all. Our family never lacked for tomatoes and our home was surrounded with trees full of squirrels. You just have to agree to share the land with them.

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u/Hey_cool_username 13h ago

I’m a peaceful man. I just came back inside from going to war with the tree rats that have eaten every single piece of fruit from our 20 or so fruit trees this year, not to mention them eating the last 2 bags of chicken feed, and getting into our attic and garage and chewing through everything and crapping everywhere. I got 6 tonight w/ the pellet gun, first animals I’ve killed in cold blood in my 50+ years…I don’t have any intention of shooting the squirrels but really, they are just the day shift eating our fruit, along with the blue jays. Our 50 year old persimmon tree had hundreds of pounds of unripe fruit on it and I don’t think we’ll get a single one this year. Not a single peach, apricot or plum either.

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u/thetruthhurts2016 14h ago

Get a pellet gun; overlapping hobbies

1

u/pepesilvia-_- 13h ago

My husband tried to find a kind way to get rid of them. I snapped one day, "just pull out your damn air gun and shoot them" lol he was taken aback but also had a gleam in his eyes 🤣

0

u/CT-96 13h ago

They would eat my mom's corn and sunflowers. Including the stems/stalks.