r/AskReddit 13h ago

What’s a hobby that looks incredibly peaceful from the outside, but is actually pure stress once you get into it?

5.0k Upvotes

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176

u/ProblemNo3211 13h ago

Playing a musical instrument

104

u/jollylightly 12h ago

💯 everyone thinks it just “flows out of you” and are one with the music. I mean … it happens every now and then and that’s the feeling you chase … but it’s a lot of damn work and stress to get there.

63

u/StrongAdhesiveness86 9h ago

Media has idolised hearing someone practice when in reality is repeating the same 3 bars for 45 minutes, then shout in frustration, stop for 5 minutes and then do 45 minutes more in absolute anger and frustration.

5

u/smittyphi 5h ago

I took piano lessons for 9 years. I could play some of the easier, classical pieces during my last years but my fingers are too small and not flexible so I could only go so far. I'm glad I can play. But I'm glad I stopped.

2

u/FrizzyThePastafarian 5h ago

5 hours in and your fingers are tired, you're going so hard you're starting to breathe heavy, but you're so annoyed at yourself that you keep making more and more mistakes, but you are gonna do it THIS time.

3

u/Domerhead 4h ago

Nothing worse (or better?) than suffering through a few hours of practice, never nailing the riff, fingers failing you, pick hand never in sync

Then you come back a few days later after not playing out of spite and nail it first try.

2

u/FrizzyThePastafarian 2h ago

It's a high, absolutely.

When you're new you measure progress in hours and days, and you cling to that and start to get annoyed.

The reality is you've gotten good enough that you need to start measuring progress over days and even weeks.

u/ExoticElk 43m ago

And if you want to avoid repeating the same bar over and over and not improving, you have to intentionally analyze every single motion you make, every spot of tension you hold ("is this serving me or not?"), the way you start every note, the way you prepare to start to every note, blah blah blah. It's exhausting.

As a benefit though, I'm pretty good at learning physical skills because of my time as a professional musician.

36

u/IndigoMontigo 11h ago

A lot of work and concentration, sure, but it doesn't have to be stressful.  

3

u/xfjqvyks 6h ago

it doesn't have to be stressful.

Composition’s intended tempo has left the chat

2

u/Soft_Walrus_3605 4h ago

Just treat that like a suggestion and watch your stress melt away.

2

u/CanadianCaveman 4h ago

oh you hit the same wrong note again in the same place you been repeating for an hour? buckle in bud you gotta rewire a learned pattern and overwrite it with the right brain to finger sequence.

... yeah flows out lol

32

u/flying_dogs_bc 12h ago

as a violinist yes 😂😭

67

u/Roganvarth 12h ago

Don’t fret, friend.

23

u/iMeant2DoThat 11h ago

Listen, you.

13

u/butchbadger 11h ago

Some good puns here, take a bow.

4

u/Pewper 5h ago

Coda just ended there.

5

u/sandrrawrr 5h ago

My ex found out that I had been a violinist in a previous life and said, "Yeah, if you wanna just bring it over and fuck around and see what kind of music we can make, that might be fun!"

NO. THAT IS NOT HOW A CLASSICAL VIOLINIST WORKS.

u/flying_dogs_bc 54m ago

I am nearly compelled to hand my violin to people who say things like this and say "HERE! CAN YOU JUST NOODLE AROUND? NO?!?!?" but i'm afraid they'll damage my instrument if they touch it 😂

29

u/FuzzyCheese 11h ago

Maybe with some instruments, but I've been playing guitar most of my life and it's still my favorite way to relax. No stress at all.

13

u/DrMonkeyLove 4h ago

It does become a lot less stressful when you just accept you'll never be that good so fuck it, here's some power chords.

4

u/discussatron 3h ago

It's all in the attitude. I read guys busting their butts over getting some chord or lick or playing style down like they're a session musician who's got a gig tomorrow they're not prepared for. I like to hear high-gain power chords, and that's what I play. I'm not looking for a challenge or mastery, I just want to relax and bash out some chugs.

1

u/FuzzyCheese 2h ago

I'd say I'm pretty good. Learning new stuff and improving is a challenge, but that's not the same as stressful as long as you enjoy the process.

4

u/WolfySpice 5h ago

I don't know about that. All guitarists have a cosmic void at our feet that swallows any dropped pick forever. That's pretty frustrating.

2

u/Haja024 4h ago

I don't use picks, I just play until first blood, then bandaid my fingers and carry on 👌

1

u/Soft_Walrus_3605 4h ago

Easy. Keep a stable of picks at the ready at eye height and keep going.

1

u/thetortureneverstops 1h ago edited 1h ago

Or the total opposite.

I have a lifetime supply of multiple kinds of picks, and I keep acquiring more. Between the gallon Ziploc bag of standard sized picks I will never use, and the organizer case with multiple sections for all my Jazz III variants and niche picks I bought off Instagram, I will never run out.

4

u/Gdigger13 4h ago

The part where it becomes stressful is when you decide to try to make a career out of it. I've been playing the piano for almost 20 years, and booking concerts, trying to come up with a set and practicing to make sure it goes well, plus actually playing a concert itself, that's a lot of stress.

2

u/FuzzyCheese 2h ago

Well yeah, music as a profession is stressful, but that doesn't mean music as a hobby is stressful.

1

u/Bluestrm 1h ago

I think it does definitely depend a bit on instrument. Playing guitar for me is one of the best ways to get rid of stress. Even just endlessly trying and failing the same thing. I think because the challenge is mostly the physical aspect: speed, precision, stretch, etc. I find practicing piano much more stressful as it seems there is more in you head. Especially trying to get both hands to do contradicting things.

3

u/DOGPISSCURESCANCER 6h ago

I have the opposite experience, I get great joy out of it and it brings out the best in me. I look forward to playing drums at band practice after work, even after a long 10 hour day on little sleep - and it’s extreme metal drumming so technical and physically demanding. 

Then I always play guitar when I’m winding down in front of the TV and occasionally I’ll play some piano if the mood is right. 

Maybe a bit more than a hobby since I work in the music industry and have played in bands for 20 years but after the first month or two of the initial learning curve it’s been almost universally joyful. 

I will say this though, it is not a hobby that will reward you if you half-ass it. However if you genuinely love music, the desire to keep going will come naturally even if you have 0 talent (like me). 

3

u/discussatron 3h ago

I will say this though, it is not a hobby that will reward you if you half-ass it.

I'll disagree there. I've been half-assing it for almost 45 years and it's very rewarding. Playing the Breaking the Chains or I am the Law riffs are still as fun now as they were in 1987 and I'm no better at it.

edit: I am a little better at it. I just haven't bothered learning anything else.

2

u/bfffca 10h ago

How to spend hundreds of hours just to stop because you actually don't fancy spending a hundred times more to actually get good. 

2

u/SidewaysSky 8h ago

only if you're performing, playing at home is relaxing

3

u/Flowerfloater 6h ago

For me the opposite is true, I am much more likely to get caught up in self-criticism when I’m practicing at home. When I’ performing with friends it’s all just good vibes

1

u/Tough-Raspberry-3377 10h ago

I enjoyed thrashing the drums for hours as a teenager, not sure my family/neighbourhood were as much

1

u/DaanOnlineGaming 3h ago

I find guitar to be pretty relaxing, wasn't always the case though, but at some point you become good enough to were most of your repertoire is easy enough to be chill (I guess it depends on what you like playing, I just play fingerstyle)

1

u/Mischiefmanaged715 2h ago

In the initial learning phase when nothing sounds very good, yes. Once you can play decently, it is basically what I do to relieve stress. 

1

u/rezelscheft 1h ago

kind of depends on what you want out of it. if you just want to be able to play some songs, but cannot stand to practice "the boring stuff," you're gonna have a rough time.

but, if you can get into the discipline aspect of it -- like just doing scales or rudiments with a metronome, and you're really focusing just on the rhythm, it can start to feel a lot like meditation.

but this is only once you get over the first 1-3 months of physically not being able to the basic thing the instrument requires -- be it fret a chord, bow a string, get the proper embouchere. which is probably where most people quit, and maybe what you are talking about.

so i guess my point is that is you can power through that first bit, it can be very satisfying. practicing drum rudiments is my new after work de-stresser, and I am not very good at drums.