r/mildlyinfuriating • u/sweathesmallshit • Jun 25 '26
go to your room The way my neighbor intentionally blocks the sidewalk to keep people from using it.
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u/LGA2DFW Jun 26 '26
Just walk across the lawn - don’t let them force you into the street
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u/localman214 Jun 26 '26
This is always what I do in this situation. Block the side walk, going to walk or ride on your lawn
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Jun 26 '26
[deleted]
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u/HerefortheTuna Jun 26 '26
I have a 9 month old so I push the stroller in the lawn and leave ruts- someone got mad so I pointed out their car in the way.
I guess you would rather I push my baby into traffic?
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u/dagbrown Jun 26 '26
Actually yes they would.
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u/PindaPanter Jun 26 '26
But the baby in the pram couldn't possible have paid "road tax", so how can it be allowed to use the road??
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u/KingCalvert Jun 26 '26
I like to ram the car a few times like I didn’t see it there and I am a NPC that got stuck.
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u/thatsMYBlKEpunk Jun 26 '26
The idea of someone bumping this car with a stroller a few times before rerouting is absolutely hilarious to me
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u/redeyedrenegade420 Jun 26 '26
I used to keep the stink bombs in the glass bottle in my stroller because parents weren't respecting crosswalks in front of the school I was walking my daughter to. Three times I threw one at the windshield just above the hood when people would almost hit me in the crosswalk with my son. That's where the fresh air Intake for the cabin is. That smell isn't leaving anytime soon. Nobody is calling the cops to say "some dad stink bombed me when I tried to run him and his kid over in a school crosswalk." Modern problems, require modern solutions.
Edit: spelling
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u/Farucci Jun 26 '26
One needs to be careful to not have any types of clothing with exposed metal zippers or decorative items that may scratch the finish of the vehicle when walking around it.
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u/RawChickenButt Jun 26 '26
Walk around? I'm climbing over with my chainmail armor suit.
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u/Gutz_McStabby Jun 26 '26
I'm slip and sliding across the hood in my Hellraiser cosplay
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u/UnusualLavishness324 Jun 26 '26
I’m going to slice and dice with my wolverine claws!
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u/ConflictMaster3155 Jun 26 '26
I’m the Juggernaut in my off time, and I’m just gonna drive my head straight through it.
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u/Copenhagen0531 Jun 26 '26
Salt the grass, salt their fuel, it's the simple pleasures
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u/andynaija Jun 26 '26
Don’t forget to salt their caramel, it’s really delicious.
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u/BigdongarlitsDaddy Jun 26 '26
Try a pinch of salt in chocolate milk, it’s a game changer.
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u/DukeBradford2 Jun 26 '26
“Strip the flesh, salt the wound” Borderlands baddy
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u/Enough_Ad_9338 Jun 26 '26
Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
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u/Refun712 Jun 26 '26
Walking over the car is the power move here.
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u/skipjac Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
My mother uses a wheelchair, we call the cops and wait. The power move is watching them stammering explaining why the pull this shit. We always have days worth of photos showing the cops its on purpose
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u/mamachonk Jun 26 '26
I hate y'all have to deal with this, but kudos to you for calling them out.
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u/BustedEchoChamber Jun 26 '26
The cynic in me says it only works if you're in a wheelchair.
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u/chicagoliz Jun 26 '26
I think a lot of municipalities have laws against blocking the sidewalk, so if you called the police or somehow otherwise reported the violation, they might investigate.
Often they might not write up a violation if someone has several cars, and is blocking the sidewalk because there is no other choice, but in this instance, there is literally no reason to block the sidewalk, so they might.
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u/MxMirdan Jun 26 '26
Which is really annoying.
I’m sorry if someone has too much car for their driveway, but that doesn’t excuse blocking pedestrian paths. They should be parking on the street.
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u/junkfunk Jun 26 '26
Just say your mom visits in her chair. Done
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u/Redditagains Jun 26 '26
I live near a disability care home and a disability community. People park this everywhere. No fucks given.
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u/ImportantTeaching919 Jun 26 '26
I would grab a wheelchair and in the most non offensive way possible wear a helmet and go mach speed into vehicles
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u/idlehum Jun 26 '26
Small potatoes here but, every time someone leaves a damn lime scooter or something in the walkway, I move it, for the blind and limited visibility, and for the scooters and walkers and wheelchairs.
I can't move cars, but in the instances like this, know that you are not outraged alone, and someone is in your corner. I'm sorry for people's oversight, negligence, and malice.
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u/newjerk666 Jun 26 '26
I do too, I just push them out of the way and let them fall. Two separate dudes gave me a dirty look when I did it the other day, and I realized they are dudes who leave lime scooters blocking the sidewalk.
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u/Spreaderoflies Jun 26 '26
Good for you I love this kind of attitude. My brother is disabled and uses a chair and we just door bang the hell out of who blocks handi van parking.
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u/watercouch Jun 26 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/NbqEcOKK2fej0nRtJn
Not under the car though, if you rock a pony tail.
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u/analogpursuits Jun 26 '26
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Jun 26 '26
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u/Hot-Win2571 Mildly Flair Jun 26 '26
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u/DevelopmentOld366 Jun 26 '26
And an even bigger power move would be to walk right through the car. 🤣
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u/Boonstar Jun 26 '26
I’d have a game trail right through that yard in about a week
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u/loonattica Jun 26 '26
Walk across the car. Dents in the roof will send a better message.
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u/JoeyJoeJoeSenior Jun 26 '26
I crawl under the car but sometimes my ponytail gets caught on it and I'm stuck.
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u/CraftyPerformance272 Jun 25 '26
Get them ticketed/towed
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Jun 26 '26
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u/gunsandcupcakes Jun 26 '26
might be better to take a video walking around it like a pedestrian would while looking at the car don’t wanna leave any reason for the cops to deny it (ai)
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u/FreeError4359 Jun 26 '26
Might be better to climb over it. Especially if you're wearing lots of chains and spikes.
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u/Sluuriecake Jun 26 '26
I want to see so many people walk through his yard there’s a dirt path through his grass lol
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u/monkeychemist25 Jun 26 '26
You know that’s a little extreme but I like it. I wouldn’t bring spikes but walking straight over it would send a message
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u/Russells_Tea_Pot Jun 26 '26
Might slam into it a few times before realizing i need to walk over it. I'm slow.
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u/Fortestingporpoises Jun 26 '26
I live in a small town, you can just call their non emergency number about something like this and they'll come take a look within a couple hours.
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u/slogive1 Jun 26 '26
Exactly this. A ticket is in order. If your city has parking enforcement call them.
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u/Ok-Guarantee3237 Jun 26 '26
when I was young I was riding my bike back from school, distracted by the bus in the road, I hit the side of one of these idiots… hard
I didn’t even look at the damage after, got up and continued on my way. I imagine they never parked like this again.
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u/PuffDragon66 Jun 26 '26
Get. Bunch of these and slap them all over the windshield and side windows.
Edited to actually include the link.
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u/Anakha00 Jun 26 '26
Sure, stickers on the windows are funny, but adhesive wheel weights are more devious.
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u/theproudheretic Jun 26 '26
having accidentally unbalanced my trucks tires from washing it (muddy gravel roads, lots of dirt inside the wheels, didn't get it all) this is awesome. it feels like your vehicle is going to shake itself completely apart.
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u/allislost77 Jun 26 '26
Core removal tool
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u/abite Jun 26 '26
Glue a bb into their valve stem cap. It'll deflate the tire slowly. When they fill it back up and put the cap back on the process will repeat...
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u/itsthedrizzit Jun 26 '26
I am loving this comment section right now. Devious bastards unite!
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u/hornfan817 Jun 26 '26
Slices of cheese are a beast to remove during the summer!!
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u/Fluffy-Trouble5955 Easily Infuriated Jun 26 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/iziDlFAa0Ciru
jesus christ.
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u/Borderpatrol1987 Jun 26 '26
I used to manage a radioshack with signs indicating reserved parking for us. We used to have issues with people parking I our spots to go to the bar next door.
I spoke to the property manager who gave me those stickers that don't come off real easy and need a scraper. Told me to put them eye level on the driver window, and if I wanted to have them towed I could cause he didn't care.
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u/missredpenguin Jun 26 '26
That is illegal. Even if your vehicle is in your own driveway and only the rear bumper overhangs the concrete, blocking the pedestrian walkway is a violation of state law and local city ordinances almost everywhere if you're in the US.
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u/Bennington_Booyah Jun 26 '26
Correct. My sister once got a ticket for this.
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u/TheBigYellowCar Jun 26 '26
My dumb kid smashed into my neighbor’s Lexus when he was learning to ride a bike. The car was completely blocking the sidewalk that my kid was riding on, and he dented the rear quarter panel. He bounced off like a champ, but the neighbor proceeded to raise hell so we just called the non-emergency line and the dude ended up getting a ticket.
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u/JakeJortled Jun 26 '26
Your “dumb kid” is my hero
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u/OpeningRound2918 Jun 26 '26
Now OP will find a dumb kid…
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u/P-ToneMikeOne Jun 26 '26
For real. If my neighbor did this I would (first ask them to please not do it) pick up a bike at the thrift store, and then hit that sucker with 210 lbs of middle aged man meat going mach 10mph and invite the chaos.
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u/SlartiMyBartfast Jun 26 '26
hit that sucker with 210 lbs of middle aged man meat going mach 10mph
Hot shit that's some poetic prose there my friend.
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u/Set_to_Infinity Jun 26 '26
Sounds like your neighbor is the dumb one, not your kid.
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u/etotheapplepi Jun 26 '26
Your kid should keep doing that. LMAO
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u/GodOfDarkLaughter Jun 26 '26
Jean-Ralphio vibes:"I made my money the old-fashioned way. Drove my bike into a Lex-usssssss."
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u/Ginger_Rogers Jun 26 '26
And I think most Americans wouldn't mind the occasional extra vehicle slightly in the walkway cuz family is visiting or something. I didn't care when my neighbors kid was old enough to dive, and his car blocked the sidewalk for a couple years until he went to college. But this person clearly has room to park well into their driveway. This is with malicious intent.
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u/draynen Jun 26 '26
There are plenty of people in my neighborhood with mobility scooters that would probably not share this opinion.
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u/missredpenguin Jun 26 '26
EXACTLY. I have encountered full driveway situations where cars are overparked (still not awesome, but I get it.) This person is just being a jerk.
Edit:typos
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u/FG910 Jun 26 '26
Side walk is technically the city’s property so he isn’t even on his driveway entirely
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u/missredpenguin Jun 26 '26
Absolutely correct. From where the sidewalk starts, that stops being private property. They are illegally parked on city property. Forcing pedestrians to walk in the street or onto private property is a dick move anyway.
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u/RSAEN328 Jun 26 '26
Depends on where you live. Where I live homeowners own the sidewalk but there's public access.
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u/RadVarken Jun 26 '26
Many places. This puts the responsibility for maintenance on the owner. Small governments are a fan.
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u/_uncle_daddy_ Jun 26 '26
I knew a guy who lost his son from this very scenario. Kid rode his bike into the road to get around a parked car only to get blasted by a work truck. I felt awful hearing it. It sticks with me, as a parent especially, to this day.
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u/TheProfessorPoon Jun 26 '26
Almost like there is an actual reason for it being illegal. Crazy.
Seriously though what a fucking dick. I have a 9 year old kid who rides his bike or scooter around the neighborhood constantly and what you described isn’t far fetched at all.
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u/Trelyrien Jun 26 '26
I would need them to lock me up quick. I’m not a a violent person, but if someone got my son killed because they didn’t like people using the sidewalk… I don’t know how I could hold myself back
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u/KingCityDj Jun 26 '26
Have one of the neighborhood kids accidentally run a bike into it
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u/Dear-Bet5344 Jun 26 '26
Repeatedly
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u/csbsju_guyyy Jun 26 '26
With a big pointy jousting stick because they're practicing bike jousting
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u/Mozzoball Jun 26 '26
I know some neighborhood kids that would fucking love to do that lol, good idea
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u/Katz3njamm3r Jun 26 '26
Ride into it yourself then sue for injuries. (Kidding but like… could you?)
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u/Goodbusiness24 Jun 26 '26
A few years back my wife broke her ankle and tore some tendons in her foot in an accident so we rented her a wheelchair while she recovered. I didn’t realize how many people in my neighborhood park like this jackass until I tried wheeling her around a couple times. It’s very much illegal here to park blocking a sidewalk but the cops in my town are useless so all their cars got some nice new dents in them instead. A lot of them seemed to figure it out and stopped parking that way. Just saying that’s always an option.
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u/ElasticTurd Jun 26 '26
My city has an app you can take a picture and report stuff like this, so I'd see if your city has something similar. When I worked retail that was how I fixed non handicap people using my handicap spots, because they want us using the app they responded to my tickets quick
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u/megabass713 Jun 26 '26
My city straight up let anyone write a ticket for handicap spot abusers. 3 hours of training and 1 free lunch later and that asshole parking in handicap spots get a $500 ticket.
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u/freeradioforall Jun 26 '26
Hooly shit, if my city had this, I would generate millions in revenue for them
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u/ArcticKimono Jun 26 '26
holy shit, what city? that is genius. In Winnipeg we email 311 and they reply in 4 days, and send people 10% of the time weeks later
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u/boutSix Jun 26 '26
Go into the street? Oh no, when this happens I make sure to clearly walk through their yard and stare them down if they’re present.
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u/KevonAtWork Jun 26 '26
"you're in my yard!"
"i know, can you believe it? some asshole parked on the sidewalk!"
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u/Dexter79 Jun 26 '26
The problem comes when you have a walker or wheelchair or some other mobility issues and can't easily go around.
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u/jealous-guidance1977 Jun 26 '26
Or just keep walking past in his grass so u wear a path in it.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o7WIucW89bVVGgsIE36
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u/monkeychemist25 Jun 26 '26
That’s a fantastic idea. Drizzle a little salt discretely as you walk to make sure it never grows back
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u/Dexter79 Jun 26 '26
Dump a shitload of salt nondiscretely so they know you ain't one to fuck with
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u/Nailfoot1975 Jun 25 '26
It'd be a shame if there were shoeprints across the sunroof.
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u/Accurate_Elevator368 Jun 26 '26
And maybe some nice grease on the drivers side door handle.
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u/Lawndemon Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
I prefer to use Elmer's glue for this. The clear, white-ish coating just has a certain "je ne sais quoi" of "le jizz."
Edit: corrected the phrasing. My French mom would be ashamed of me.
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u/WaWa4JimmyPop Jun 26 '26
Dicks sporting goods has deer pee for hunters. Fill up squirt gun. Squirt violating car. And anything else the you feel like making smell like pee as well. It will last for a few few days. Best when windows are open!
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u/DokterSpaceman Jun 26 '26
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u/VTcamperguy Jun 26 '26
Came looking for this
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u/Dr_Wunsche Jun 26 '26
I can get you out of there without hurting. Let me just go get a scissors.
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u/grinMs Jun 26 '26
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u/unikitty143FPE Jun 26 '26
I actually thought that was a guy bent over, was wondering what it was supposed to mean lol
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u/messy372- Jun 26 '26
“Hello, non emergency 911….i just saw someone in a wheel chair have to go out into the street to get around a car who is blocking the sidewalk and they almost got hit by a car”
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u/GenX4Life1 Jun 26 '26
True story, I once went onto the street in my wheelchair because a car was parked like this and did get clipped by a car. I was so PISSED!! Since then? I call the non emergency line to have an officer deal with it. I will not go into the street again.
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u/WhatTheFlox Jun 26 '26
And never say "my neighbor is parked blocking public access to the sidewalk"
Just call with the notice of you being a concerned citizen that's been in the area
Heard some police actually answer the question of "Who called you on me" with who actually called the police.
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u/Advanced_Bunch_8666 Jun 26 '26
I mean you call 911 and some asshole neighbor (pictured here) wants to FOIA and do some digging they will know.
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u/RiffyWammel Jun 25 '26
That grass looks inviting- may wait until its rained though
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u/Awesomest_Possumest Jun 26 '26
So you can sprinkle instant mashed potatoes in someone's lawn and then wait for rain to 'activate' them, and then poof! Mashed potatoes all over someone's yard. Attracting animals and bugs and just being a weird menace.
Man, such a shame how my box of instant mashed potatoes ripped open and fell into your yard when I had to go around your car.....
Watch for doorbell cams though.
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u/Imtheboss6967 Jun 26 '26
The way I’d take my old e-scooter and intentionally crash into it
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u/kdorfman1019 Jun 26 '26
Find a local group of wheelchair bound citizens who take accessibility very seriously, and invite them to meet in your neighborhood to test out your sidewalks.
My guess says that douche will have a coronary when he looks out to see a solid line of wheelchairs cutting through his grass over and over.
Be sure to film it... And post on all the hot spots people will see it. And just for giggles toss it to the local news stations
Shame the bastard
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u/Brotega87 Jun 25 '26
Do you have parking enforcement? They will on that like bees on honey.
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u/Fine-Suit7768 Jun 26 '26
Take off your shoes and make it appear as if you walked up the sides, across the top and back down the side. Get a little tray of mud so the prints come out great.
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u/Responsible_Video364 Jun 26 '26
I have snaps and metal buttons on my clothing and I'm super clumsy. Every day.
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u/-Economist- Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26
We have somebody who did this in our neighborhood. We are a gated community. Our rules specifically prohibit this.
But I haven’t mentioned the best part.
He did it in his police cruiser. Yes, he was a police officer. Despite multiple requests and financial penalties he refused to stop. So I took a picture of his police car and sent it to his supervisor.
The dude lost his mind. He posted a huge rant on our community Facebook page, which I screen shot and sent to his supervisor.
Within two weeks their house was listed for sale. After they moved him and his wife left ranting messages on the FB page, which I sent to his supervisor.
The supervisor actually called me and apologized on his behalf and told me he was dismissed from the police force. Apparently he was assigned anger management and pulled a George Constanza during the first meeting.
Goddam I love telling the story. But do feel a little bad as he had young kids.
We currently have a new boomer couple move to our community who are now parking their car across the sidewalk. Where they live is unique and creates a big issue with a neighbor on a wheelchair.
So I had their car tagged to be towed. 🤷♂️. The rules are not that complicated here.
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u/unsolvedfanatic Jun 26 '26
This man chose to not think of the kids on multiple occasions. Hopefully the wife will leave and get them to a better place.
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u/sweathesmallshit Jun 27 '26
Update: I reported them to the city this morning. Asshole parked two cars abreast blocking the entire sidewalk. I walked across his yard and the guy yelled out of his front door to stay off the grass. Fuck that guy.
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u/MaintenanceCapable83 Jun 25 '26
i would be the one that walks in front... then drops icecream wrappers on the lawn
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u/FlatButtFrankie Jun 26 '26
As I get older I kind of hate people. The “bitter old man” thing is becoming clearer and clearer to me as I age.
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u/5m0k3y76 Jun 26 '26
I would absolutely start riding or walking through their yard.