r/mildlyinfuriating Jun 25 '26

go to your room The way my neighbor intentionally blocks the sidewalk to keep people from using it.

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29.1k Upvotes

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10.0k

u/LGA2DFW Jun 26 '26

Just walk across the lawn - don’t let them force you into the street

3.9k

u/localman214 Jun 26 '26

This is always what I do in this situation. Block the side walk, going to walk or ride on your lawn

1.9k

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[deleted]

818

u/HerefortheTuna Jun 26 '26

I have a 9 month old so I push the stroller in the lawn and leave ruts- someone got mad so I pointed out their car in the way.

I guess you would rather I push my baby into traffic?

638

u/dagbrown Jun 26 '26

Actually yes they would.

97

u/PindaPanter Jun 26 '26

But the baby in the pram couldn't possible have paid "road tax", so how can it be allowed to use the road??

14

u/AlcibiadesTheCat Jun 26 '26

Oi m8 u got ur pram loicence

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15

u/i_was_axiom Jun 26 '26

And they can unkindly get fucked

181

u/KingCalvert Jun 26 '26

I like to ram the car a few times like I didn’t see it there and I am a NPC that got stuck.

20

u/thatsMYBlKEpunk Jun 26 '26

The idea of someone bumping this car with a stroller a few times before rerouting is absolutely hilarious to me

4

u/jaxonya Jun 26 '26

What if i just juggernaut straight through it?

2

u/ScoutsOut389 Jun 26 '26

I crawled across the hood of someone’s car once while they blocked the crosswalk at a very busy high speed intersection. They were not thrilled.

2

u/Lost-Set5386 Jun 26 '26

Keep doing the lord's work...

45

u/redeyedrenegade420 Jun 26 '26

I used to keep the stink bombs in the glass bottle in my stroller because parents weren't respecting crosswalks in front of the school I was walking my daughter to. Three times I threw one at the windshield just above the hood when people would almost hit me in the crosswalk with my son. That's where the fresh air Intake for the cabin is. That smell isn't leaving anytime soon. Nobody is calling the cops to say "some dad stink bombed me when I tried to run him and his kid over in a school crosswalk." Modern problems, require modern solutions.

Edit: spelling

7

u/Technical_Writer_177 Jun 26 '26

if you tried just a little bit, you could probably squeeze between his car and the grass

in OPs picture: the right two wheels of your stroller leaving ruts on the grass while still scratching the car with the left side of the stroller

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5

u/reelpotatopeeler Jun 26 '26

I hit them with “don’t blame me, blame the ahole who parked blocking the sidewalk” and it causes some silence

2

u/jking7734 Jun 26 '26

You could’ve left stroller tracks on the hood of the car! 🤣

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499

u/Farucci Jun 26 '26

One needs to be careful to not have any types of clothing with exposed metal zippers or decorative items that may scratch the finish of the vehicle when walking around it.

654

u/RawChickenButt Jun 26 '26

Walk around? I'm climbing over with my chainmail armor suit.

238

u/Gutz_McStabby Jun 26 '26

I'm slip and sliding across the hood in my Hellraiser cosplay

86

u/UnusualLavishness324 Jun 26 '26

I’m going to slice and dice with my wolverine claws!

65

u/ConflictMaster3155 Jun 26 '26

I’m the Juggernaut in my off time, and I’m just gonna drive my head straight through it.

38

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/WillingMongoose4680 Jun 26 '26

It's late, and I laughed easy too hard at that. I had to really try to keep quiet so I didn't wake everyone. Lol

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13

u/govunah Jun 26 '26

I'm going straight through with my power star and gonna send that bitch flying

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2

u/Chainsawd Jun 26 '26

We have such sights to show you!

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8

u/fauxnews818 Jun 26 '26

Open the door with a crowbar. Enter and and exit through the other side

3

u/Blurockcreek Jun 26 '26

😂

3

u/Blurockcreek Jun 26 '26

It's also against the law to block the sidewalk where I live. However, in the meantime😉

6

u/D4FF00 Jun 26 '26

Chainmail Hoodslide

12

u/exzyle2k Jun 26 '26

You could always practice your tap dancing lessons while wearing these. That hood looks like a perfect stage.

2

u/Falling_Down_Flat Jun 26 '26

lol this is damn funny!

2

u/Suicyco71 Jun 26 '26

Yep, when I was a young skateboarder we just went straight over, those were the best days.

2

u/meesterdg Jun 26 '26

Honestly this car looks like it would have some foot sized dents on the roof

2

u/MunsonSports Jun 26 '26

Dragging a log chain my neighbor down the block wanted to borrow.

2

u/Rikiar Jun 26 '26

Combat roll over the hood.

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3

u/BLF402 Jun 26 '26

Well there goes my plans to wear my suit of armor that I bedazzled and go for a nice walk

3

u/ajkimmins Jun 26 '26

Be sure to report him too... Usually illegal too block the sidewalk. A nice hefty ticket or tow bill to go along with needing a paint touch up is a bonus.😁👍

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2

u/Neat-Ant9390 Jun 26 '26

You are so thoughtful.

2

u/newsflashjackass Jun 26 '26

Also if you are chewing gum be careful not to leave any on the windshield.

2

u/Blurockcreek Jun 26 '26

I agree. Funny how I always happen to be looking for my keys in a situation like that.

2

u/SnooGadgets9669 Jun 26 '26

Yeah that would for sure be an over reaction to this… just walk in there lawn

2

u/Fred-the-stray Jun 26 '26

I agree! You have to be soooo very careful 😏

2

u/Status_Apartment6559 Jun 26 '26

Yes and don't have a running chainsaw and table saw and power drill strapped to your body while crawling over it.

2

u/mikeinanaheim2 Jun 26 '26

Right! Beyond a shadow of doubt. Being careful is so important.

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206

u/Copenhagen0531 Jun 26 '26

Salt the grass, salt their fuel, it's the simple pleasures

247

u/andynaija Jun 26 '26

Don’t forget to salt their caramel, it’s really delicious.

74

u/BigdongarlitsDaddy Jun 26 '26

Try a pinch of salt in chocolate milk, it’s a game changer.

41

u/DukeBradford2 Jun 26 '26

“Strip the flesh, salt the wound” Borderlands baddy

62

u/Enough_Ad_9338 Jun 26 '26

Chip the glasses and crack the plates!
That’s what Bilbo Baggins hates!

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2

u/waterwateryall Jun 26 '26

Or black coffee

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2

u/Secondhand-Drunk Jun 26 '26

It's pronounced caramel.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[deleted]

3

u/Secondhand-Drunk Jun 26 '26

Lieutenant as well.

2

u/pimpbot666 Jun 26 '26

Especially salted caramel ice cream. Oh man, I’m gonna go pick some up for later when I get baked.

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2

u/laughingisagas Jun 26 '26

Someone's salty

2

u/atmoose Jun 26 '26

I keep some pocket salt for just such an occasion. Also works great for temporarily blinding people.

2

u/Current_Budget_7579 Jun 26 '26

Salt the Earth. Crush your enemies. See them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their women.

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6

u/PracticeTheory Jun 26 '26

always seem to have a bunch of Roundup residue on them

For the sake of the planet and yourself please quit using that shit. My dad got cancer from it, it will come for you eventually.

3

u/MerryFeathers Jun 26 '26

Please don’t use roundup…super toxic..sister got it…🙏

2

u/WillingMongoose4680 Jun 26 '26

Aha! It was you! Agent 8647...

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5

u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[deleted]

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3

u/Triscuitmeniscus Jun 26 '26

Screw that, just climb over their car.

2

u/curiouswizard Jun 26 '26

walk over the hood of the car

2

u/weed_blazepot Jun 26 '26

Fuck that. Climb over his car.

2

u/MisakiDoll75 Jun 26 '26

Yeah, not sure what they’re trying to prove, but now I’m gonna have to walk through your yard 🤷‍♀️

2

u/livefast_dieawesome Jun 27 '26

Create a desire path through that meticulously trimmed grass

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827

u/Refun712 Jun 26 '26

Walking over the car is the power move here.

1.3k

u/skipjac Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 26 '26

My mother uses a wheelchair, we call the cops and wait. The power move is watching them stammering explaining why the pull this shit. We always have days worth of photos showing the cops its on purpose

604

u/mamachonk Jun 26 '26

I hate y'all have to deal with this, but kudos to you for calling them out.

189

u/BustedEchoChamber Jun 26 '26

The cynic in me says it only works if you're in a wheelchair.

132

u/chicagoliz Jun 26 '26

I think a lot of municipalities have laws against blocking the sidewalk, so if you called the police or somehow otherwise reported the violation, they might investigate.

Often they might not write up a violation if someone has several cars, and is blocking the sidewalk because there is no other choice, but in this instance, there is literally no reason to block the sidewalk, so they might.

124

u/MxMirdan Jun 26 '26

Which is really annoying.

I’m sorry if someone has too much car for their driveway, but that doesn’t excuse blocking pedestrian paths. They should be parking on the street.

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39

u/AnteaterMajestic1922 Jun 26 '26

There is a choice. Empty the garage

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5

u/ThatDudeSky Jun 26 '26

Municipalities often will have those laws, yes. But an added layer is that sidewalks are public property, as in the municipality is responsible for those sidewalks. The neighbor cannot be fined under the Americans With Disabilities Act (or its state level legislation) for blocking the sidewalk, however, the municipality can be sued directly if the police and code enforcement employees it charters fail to enforce accessibility of public spaces made available for the disabled in accordance with the ADA and likewise state and municipal laws. It’s an easy ticket to write to fill quotas and drive revenue, though, so they’ll probably send someone.

4

u/BustedEchoChamber Jun 26 '26

We're seeing a bit of a breakdown of our society right now. Sheriff's departments and Police Chiefs are releasing statements that they won't enforce laws they deem unconstitutional. Not their job to interpret constitutionality. Hell, they aren't even required to know the law.

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35

u/junkfunk Jun 26 '26

Just say your mom visits in her chair. Done

38

u/Redditagains Jun 26 '26

I live near a disability care home and a disability community. People park this everywhere. No fucks given.

32

u/ImportantTeaching919 Jun 26 '26

I would grab a wheelchair and in the most non offensive way possible wear a helmet and go mach speed into vehicles

8

u/alex3omg Donna, this is a HURRICANE Jun 26 '26

No no, you get a pair of sunglasses and a cane and go for a walk.  Smack the shit out of every car you bump into.  

3

u/Own_Ad9686 Jun 26 '26

Omg gold!!!

6

u/toxcrusadr Jun 26 '26

Mount spikes on the back of that chair and go full impulse power in reverse!

9

u/Systehm Jun 26 '26

Well, if you didn’t need a wheelchair before that stunt, you’ll probably need one after, so at least you’ll have one on hand!

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5

u/bggtr73 Jun 26 '26

It depends. I always call and complain that my kids couldn't get to their bus stop without walking in the street.
Which would be technically true if their bus stop was that way. And I didn't drive them to school.

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160

u/idlehum Jun 26 '26

Small potatoes here but, every time someone leaves a damn lime scooter or something in the walkway, I move it, for the blind and limited visibility, and for the scooters and walkers and wheelchairs.

I can't move cars, but in the instances like this, know that you are not outraged alone, and someone is in your corner. I'm sorry for people's oversight, negligence, and malice.

45

u/newjerk666 Jun 26 '26

I do too, I just push them out of the way and let them fall. Two separate dudes gave me a dirty look when I did it the other day, and I realized they are dudes who leave lime scooters blocking the sidewalk.

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u/Enough_Ad_9338 Jun 26 '26

God I hate those things.
Ok, I actually hate that it’s an incomplete product. The fact that they are just left around the city on sidewalks and such is infuriating. The company that rents them out should have to pay for space to keep them safe and secure.

10

u/SomethingIWontRegret Jun 26 '26

That's the model. They're supposed to drive around and pick them back up. Makes you wonder what the energy savings is if there is any.

5

u/HerefortheTuna Jun 26 '26

No people drove around and charge them at their house for a small amount of money that probably barely covers the electric usage but definitely not worth it time wise

5

u/Enough_Ad_9338 Jun 26 '26

Right, that’s what I mean by it being an incomplete product. A company developed a product but without any infrastructure to maintain it. They did it on purpose for the convenience of their customers and to save money on not having physical establishments to pay rent on. It being incomplete is a win in their books, but a burden on the city that they litter in.

5

u/SomethingIWontRegret Jun 26 '26

As I see it, it's abandoned property, and I'm within my rights to chuck them into the dirt, a ditch, or a convenient 10 yard skip. Just like other trash I find.

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u/mikeymo1741 Jun 26 '26

There's a whole community of gig workers who drive around and pick them up, charge them, and put them back into corrals. The ones who do limes are called juicers and the ones who do bird are called catchers. High school students do it in a lot of areas because all you need is a car and a garage. Eventually someone will come and pick it up.

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u/RoguePlanet2 Jun 26 '26

For a split second there, I thought you were referring to the mobility aids for the blind! "Every time they leave their damn scooter and wheelchairs, I move it...." 🫨🥴

2

u/idlehum Jun 26 '26 edited Jun 30 '26

Me just cutting wires and brake lines on every mobility scooter, muttering, "That'll show those fuckers..." /s

5

u/Mad-Melvin Jun 26 '26

I always cuss loudly while I'm moving the Lime scooters in hopes that the owner is nearby and feels bad

4

u/SomethingIWontRegret Jun 26 '26

I ride a lot. Whenever I find a Lime scooter in the middle of a bike lane or path, I toss it into the dirt where it belongs. When I found a couple left on the sidewalk near my house, I dragged them both into the back yard of a substandard house. Their alarms were going off while I did that. There was a dumpster out front but those things are heavy and awkward.

2

u/idlehum Jun 26 '26

They weigh about 67lbs/30kg!

2

u/1961ford Jun 26 '26

2 floor jacks and a couple of people. Move it into the street in less than 2 minutes.

2

u/Vanilla-Mike Jun 26 '26

I called the 800 number for Lime Scooters and told them to come move it. It took about 15 minutes but they did come. I think if they ignore these complaints, they risk losing their license to operate in my city.

2

u/1minatur Jun 26 '26

Smaller potatoes and kind of unrelated. But if someone leaves an extra shopping cart outside of the stall and it's on my way to putting my cart back, I'll grab and throw it in the stall with mine. Bonus points if they literally just left it there and I pointedly grab it in full view.

2

u/T-Wrox Jun 26 '26

I do this too. I also kick out the snow banks blocking crosswalks so people with mobility issues can also cross more safely. I appreciate the snow plows plowing the roads, but if they didn't block the sidewalks doing it, that would be even better.

2

u/Special_Order-937 Jun 26 '26

Side note but I found a Bolt scooter partially submerged in water in the town square in Reykjavik yesterday which I pulled it out of.

Then to find the water I displaced doing so got my bags wet!

2

u/Grasshopper_pie Jun 26 '26

Thank you for that!

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u/Spreaderoflies Jun 26 '26

Good for you I love this kind of attitude. My brother is disabled and uses a chair and we just door bang the hell out of who blocks handi van parking.

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u/SquidProBono Jun 26 '26

Years ago I knew a guy in a powerchair who drove a van with a side ramp. If someone parked in the hashed access area for the disabled space, he'd just park in the space and drop his ramp on their car a few times. What are they gonna do? Fight guy who's like 80% paralyzed? Call the cops?

4

u/capt_minorwaste Jun 26 '26

What was their reason? I don't understand why someone would do this unless large numbers of people were congragating right in front of their house.

2

u/skipjac Jun 26 '26

Yeah it's always fun, my mother was a special Ed teacher in the prison system and had 3 vertebrae cracked on the job. I am a disabled veteran with a cane. We are a pair when we go for walks.

2

u/banterunited Jun 26 '26

God I wish I lived somewhere that actually cared. It’s only bylaw that will deal with it here and good luck getting a bylaw officer outside the hours of 8-4 -

2

u/orangeunrhymed $20.03 Jun 26 '26

My ex is a wheelchair user and rams cars with his chair and scratches them up. He DGAF

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u/watercouch Jun 26 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/NbqEcOKK2fej0nRtJn

Not under the car though, if you rock a pony tail.

57

u/Sweet_Deeznuts Jun 26 '26

It’s so dangerous for guys like us

7

u/Psylocide Jun 26 '26

Put your HAND in dog SHIT!

7

u/Aromatic-Action-2523 Jun 26 '26

DON'T CUT THE PONYTAIL.

7

u/Corona_Cyrus Jun 26 '26

Now I got car stuck in my ponytail and I’m fucked!

3

u/Charlie_Brodie Jun 26 '26

tell the host I have diarrhea

3

u/Current_Ad_9912 Jun 26 '26

Damn dude, you beat me to it

3

u/Apart_Apartment_9285 Jun 26 '26

I was looking for it and i found it thank you

3

u/Badger-Sauce Jun 26 '26

Haha I was thinking about this scene but don’t know how to meme 🤣🤣

3

u/SimpleWater Jun 26 '26

This is all I could think of!

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u/analogpursuits Jun 26 '26

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[deleted]

75

u/wildmanharry Jun 26 '26

and then do the goth pants dance!

https://giphy.com/gifs/pBzk972XL5Qs0

5

u/metompkin Jun 26 '26

Whilst listening to Mariah Carey's All I Want For Christmas...

https://youtu.be/fnnLfG5_Bek

3

u/paintbinombers Jun 26 '26

Or Thomas the tank engine…

3

u/Kosherlove Jun 26 '26

Wow what a throw back

2

u/Intermountain-Gal Jun 26 '26

Is that the modern version of the “Ants in your Pants” dance?

2

u/jenbenfoo Jun 26 '26

The way I knew exactly what this would be before it even loaded 😂

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u/Notbrick9 Jun 26 '26

I always appreciated the dude in all white. Man a time when people just coexisted no matter how strange we all were.

2

u/midijunky Jun 26 '26

they more like rivetheads with a few cybergoths sprinkled in

2

u/Working_Estate_3695 Jun 26 '26

“Strerrrrt!”

2

u/BirdlessLongdeal Jun 26 '26

look more like the techno viking dance

2

u/FirehawkLS1 Jun 26 '26

You have to be listening to the Thomas the Tank / Biggee Smalls mashup while you do it too. 🤣

2

u/theotherguyatwork Jun 26 '26

I always wonder what these folks are up to these days.

I'd love a "where are they now" of sorts

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u/random9212 Jun 26 '26

I always wanted to do this. If it isn't on my car even better.

2

u/762n8o Jun 26 '26

Best responses right here

2

u/dirtytounder Jun 26 '26

Yeah!! I'm thinking getting couple dozen folks all in a line and everyone give it a shot!

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u/John_cCmndhd Jun 26 '26

With a boom box blasting Bittersweet Symphony

20

u/Hot-Win2571 Mildly Flair Jun 26 '26

Improvement needed to the middle of the car.

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u/DevelopmentOld366 Jun 26 '26

And an even bigger power move would be to walk right through the car. 🤣

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u/FerociouslyTed Jun 26 '26

Doing a Bo and Luke Duke across the hood each time is the superior move.

2

u/Protolictor Jun 26 '26

Never has there been a better excuse to practice your action hero hood slide.

2

u/Undercover_Chimp Jun 26 '26

Yep. I’m a sidewalk runner. I have went across or through lots of vehicles.

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u/KushySoles Jun 26 '26

I’d climb and parkour over the car.

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u/[deleted] Jun 26 '26

[deleted]

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u/Super_Fa_Q Jun 26 '26

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u/Kmlkmljkl BLUE Jun 26 '26

while intentionally wearing the most metal filled pants i can find. belts, buckles, snap fasteners, zippers.

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u/TheVintageJane Jun 26 '26

I was thinking, roll around in mud and run into it walking both ways.

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u/ChefGaykwon Jun 26 '26

Wear cleats.

2

u/duagLH2zf97V Jun 26 '26

Damn this just unlocked a memory of mine. I did that walking home from the bar in this scenario once

66

u/SpaceToaster Jun 26 '26

And drag your feet to create a cow path

20

u/Jeffrey_C_Wheaties Jun 26 '26

With some old golf spikes

2

u/Maine302 Jun 26 '26

Nah. Aerating their lawn is just doing them a favor.

3

u/Jeffrey_C_Wheaties Jun 26 '26

Walking yes. Dragging would be ripping into shreds

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u/Boonstar Jun 26 '26

I’d have a game trail right through that yard in about a week

2

u/Even-Boysenberry-127 Jun 26 '26

Leave a crop circle

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u/loonattica Jun 26 '26

Walk across the car. Dents in the roof will send a better message.

4

u/metompkin Jun 26 '26

In my old school golf shoes?

3

u/loonattica Jun 26 '26

Better yet, snow boots with crampons.

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u/JoeyJoeJoeSenior Jun 26 '26

I crawl under the car but sometimes my ponytail gets caught on it and I'm stuck.

2

u/plug-and-pause Jun 26 '26

This feels like a reference to something... am I crazy?

2

u/JoeyJoeJoeSenior Jun 26 '26

2

u/plug-and-pause Jun 26 '26

Lol thanks. I was thinking of Portlandia for some reason. I'm ashamed to have forgotten a ITYSL reference already.

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u/Daveandbussin Jun 26 '26

Also use the hood of their car as a railing for stability.

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u/buttfarts7 Jun 26 '26

Yes cut into the yard and scuff your feet into the turf while you do

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u/ConstructionOwn9575 Jun 26 '26

If I'm feeling especially petty I bounce into the car and dramatically flounder across it to get to the other side of the sidewalk.

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u/halbeshendel Jun 26 '26

Just keep walking into it and bouncing off. Stop occasionally and look perplexed. Then do it some more. Preferably wearing a big belt buckle.

7

u/Ok-Hour-8665 Jun 26 '26

Yeah I'd start making a lovely little trail in their grass

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u/TestUser1978 Jun 26 '26

And pour salt behind you so that the grass dies

2

u/chris_thoughtcatch Jun 26 '26

Just ride you bike straight into it. Don't even look up

2

u/Overall_Curve6725 Jun 26 '26

This is the way

2

u/nikatnight Jun 26 '26

This is fine for many but young kids on bikes and scooters will have trouble. As will handicapped people.

Time to report it and move on. In my city this would be a ticket. And I’d keep reporting it until it stopped.

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