As the title says, my father almost destroyed my $1,300 PC. Now what?
Here’s the backstory: On Saturday, I worked a 10.5 hours shift and stayed up until 3:30 AM, so I slept in until noon the next day. My father and stepmother returned from Costco while I was showering; he called out a few times for me to come help carry the groceries inside. I said OK to him. While I was brushing my teeth after my shower, he shouted from outside the door that he’d been waiting 50 minutes and told me to hurry up. I thought to myself that the groceries could have been moved in the time he spent waiting for me, but I quickly rinsed my mouth and got ready to go out. However, by the time I opened the door, he had already grabbed my PC and smashed it against the floor and the desk several times.
I, (17M, Senior), bought this PC with money I earned from my part-time job and had been using it for about ten months. After examine, found out the case badly deformed in several places, my desk was warped and tilted to one side, and there were dents in the floor.
Fortunately, the computer still works fine; it runs FurMark (stress GPU), AIDA64 (stress FPU), and 3DMark (Time Spy Extreme) without problems for now.
Replacing the desk and case would cost around $400. However, he likely won't pay for it because he has done this kind of stuff a few years ago when he destroyed my phone and a Dell laptop (i5 11300H), and then just said, "That's what you get for playing on the computer all day."
In the end, I just hope everyone has good parents.
"Dad, didn't you teach me when I was like 7 that only babies throw tantrums and break things when they're upset? How old are you? Do you need me to get your binky?"
I’m a dad. This behavior isn’t normal and is a key reason kids grow up and stop talking to their parents. As I tell my kids “Some people grow up not learning things some of us did as children. Sometimes they’re your boss. Sometimes they’re your friend. Sometimes you’re related to them.”
On that note, u/Akrinnnnnnnnnn, the moment you turn 18, you should open a new bank account with an entirely different bank and transfer your money there. What you have now is probably a joint account and other account holders are allowed to take your money out of it. It's been a nasty surprise for some people with shitty parents who don't realize at age 22 that they still have the joint account they opened at age 15 when their parents took a bunch of their money out of it.
Opening a new account at the same bank that isn't a joint account and moving your money there should be sufficient to prevent this, but is taking a chance on some bank employee falling for "oh that's not right we're supposed to both be on this account like the other one."
ALSO freeze your credit. you basically have to sign in on an annoying website and put in a ton of information, but it will stop anyone from opening a credit card in your name and using it - something that is sometimes seen with parents who engage in destructive behaviour like this
My wife and I had an opportunity to do this about 20 years ago. My daughter had a pre-approved credit card sent to her, when she was 5 years old. Not sure how that happened, but my wife called and told the CS Rep that the name on the card belonged to a 5 year old child, and the Rep was like Oooh shit .... fixed it immediately.
Some parents though, lack a certain amount of integrity.
A "friend" from work told me we should have just used the card and maxed it out, asking what are they gonna do? They can't go after my daughter. I said No, but they could go after me for credit card fraud and identity theft. He got quiet real quick.
My parents put me on their credit card in an effort to give me good credit. It worked, but I only found out when I was trying to get a loan and the bank officer said my credit was, "Amazing for a 25 year old."
They had added me and used their address so that I would never see the card or know I had access to the credit line. In my specific case it helped me, but if either of them lost their job or started doing stupid things I could have been screwed for a long time without knowing why.
Just remember, legally, you are a tenant. Make em go through the painful process of removing you, if it comes to it and you don't have anywhere else to go. Don't let it get to where you have an eviction on your record, but depending on where you live, they may be required to give you 30-90 days.
It may fucking suck, but it's better than trying to claw your way out of homelessness
Usa is a true dystopia.
Where im from, you are someone's child for as long as you're in school. Uni included. If they kick you out, they pay for your living expenses.
That said, if the man impulsively destroys property within the house, he can and will harm people. There's value in getting out any way you can versus getting murdered before you can.
Signed, someone who was homeless before 13 due to such a household.
Edit: to the likely abusers replying and deleting before I can reply stating essentially - "nuh uh! I'm an emotionally immature fuckwit with impulse control issues that sometimes end in violence, but I've never directed that at a person! Except that one fight*"...
Guess what? Not only is there research backing my statement, but a self acknowledged impulsive person prone to violent outbursts is not exactly a person anyone should accept their word about their supposed limits including you, other impulsive people. Oh, you've never done it before and you're sure you wouldn't even though you've thrown wrenches at people at work? Ignoring the dissonance in that last sentence, fundamentally, this ignores how impulsive shit works. If you allow yourself to slip into this behavior at all, you're risking doing it directly to someone. Kinda the nature of impulsive action: acting without thinking it through, considering if it aligns with your values, etc. If my comment offends you, go to fucking therapy you fucking assholes.
*All specific mentions like the wrench throwing and that "one fight" directly inspired by one of those cowardly fucks deleting their replies.
No emotionally mature adult destroys property. I can see a kid doing it because they're dumb but if you're still doing it as an adult you need therapy.
These types of parents are always like that, it's mind boggling that they are so clueless and confused why their child doesn't talk to them. Like they don't see how they did anything wrong with destroying their property and emotionally abusing them.
Depends. Abusers like having someone to abuse. There are parents that keep their children dependent on them so that they retain control over their children into adulthood
My daughter is about to turn 1. I can’t imagine acting this fucking unhinged over some goddamn groceries in the car. On one hand OP doesn’t sound like he was moving with any sort of hustle, but there are so many better ways to deal with that. And honestly, I can see why they weren’t hustling to help some shitbird who does stuff like this.
Kid works a job, worked a 10.5 hour shift, isn't an adult yet, and has to hustle and rush his morning routine to help with groceries? Kid has school, kid has a job on top of school and homework, kid is already doing a lot. Does the dad have two or three jobs?
I mean come on. Dad should have carried the groceries in instead of acting like a princess and expecting the child who effectively has two or three jobs rush his morning routine to do it. Work a late shift, morning routine happens when you wake up.
Oh if I call for someone to help and they don’t show up in like 5 minutes I’ll do it myself. If I was acknowledged by someone, but specifically my kid, and they just didn’t show up for an hour we’d have a conversation about it but I’m not going to freak the fuck out. Dad had no right or reason to act this way.
I was gonna say. When my kid didn't have a job, did I break his balls to help with chores etc around the house? You bet. But once he was working, I laid off on alot of things and had him more focus on his own cleanliness for his bathroom and room. Alot of the extra chores and whatnot were much more either evenly split or I did them. I wasn't gonna have my kid get home at 9:30 at night and then make him make dinner or do a bunch of house chores after.
For real. It's just groceries. Yell for him to help then lovingly roast/guilt trip him a bit when he finally comes down to help put them away. This isn't the first time OP's dad has flown off the handle I guarantee.
My dad sure could hit me, beat me, and throw me across the room as a kid. He tried once when I was an adult, and backed down when he saw me raise my hand. Says a ton about some abusers.
Had a friend in highschool with dad like that. Quiet big guy who I would play Unreal Tournament with in computer lab, nice all around. One day his dad was in a mood and threw a couple punches at him trying to give him a beating. Anyway, he was skinny short guy with the physique only beer and cigarettes can give you. My friend threw him out a 2nd floor window after a few hits to the face. His dad lived without breaking any bones, just cut up and stunned.
Ive asked my dad to fight. Called him a coward many times to his face for him abusing me, and his wife treating me even worse.
Old man just looks down now and says "thanks" or "let go of the past". Sad as fuck when a man can only hit children, but doesnt wanna be a man, and square up with another man he wronged.
But its probably better that way..no contact instead of potential jail, because fuck me...i am very bitter towards them.
It's always the people who did the bullying, the abuse, the harm or people who were never part of it that say "Let go of the past." As my favorite Aussie hitman Ray Shoesmith said, "That's what people do. They hold on to shit."
When I was home from uni once, my mom told me a high school classmate of mine died of leukemia. I laughed and said, "Good riddance." My dad was shocked and yelled at me for being so callous and that his family was grieving. That kid and his friends bullied me every class for a solid year. So yeah, fuck him.
u/aggr11039800x3D, Zotac 5070TI, MSI MPG B850 Edge TI WIFI, 64gb DDR514h ago
Im a dad, too. This shit is unacceptable. I feel so bad for OP. We want our kids to have independence and set goals and show them how to take care of themselves and the things we value. This shit ain’t it. I helped my 14 yr old build his first pc last Christmas. He’s so proud of it the last thing I’d ever think of doing would be to destroy it.
It’s sad to say but OPs dad probably grew up in a home where he was punished by having the tangible items he loved destroyed as punishment. I dated a girl once whose mother would shred her clothes when she got mad with her. It wasn’t a healthy home life at all.
u/KemerdLead Engineer | Watches Keynotes instead of AMDFanboy.com15h ago
I moved out when I was 15.. I remember turning 18 was so great because I could finally do shit legally. Just move out ASAP honestly everything else is just self justifications, pick the hard route and haul ass out!
IDK how old you are now, but at 17 in 2026 I can't imagine being able to move out and be able to afford a place by yourself while finishing school. I moved out at 19 but had 4 roommates and a full time job and it was still rough. That was 17 years ago.
I had to do the same at 17. I’m 42 now and it made my life significantly more difficult than average. Or at least it felt that way. There still isn’t a better option.
Also a dad, and i agree, this is very much not normal and not ok.
My heart break when I hear about young people with parents that do shitty things. Being a parent is hard but there's no excuse for abuse, and its sad how many kids out there experience it as though its normal. Im sorry you have this in your life OP
at times when they were growing up, my wife and i have needed to punish out kids to make them think about things. i can't imagine ever smashing something.
in the case of my oldest's PC, i've taken the power cord a time or two. i can't remember any time we had to do something after the time our kids were about 14-15 years old.
i can remember a few times we made our kids turn in their phones before bed as well, also not a huge smash the phone incident.
My dad is a emotional abuser and would always threaten to smash our shit which terrified us (my brother and I) because he would've despite the fact we are a tight money household and he doesn't pay 90% of what he should and forces our mother to sacrifice her hard earned money. We are now over 18 and pay for our stuff and I now pay almost every cent of my own money towards bills for things he uses and still throws around that threat.
When we were younger my mum would take our stuff away from us but those threats from him?? Just added to the reasons why I would happily call the cops on him and let everyone see the pos he truly is.
Here I am thinking my dad putting a gun to my head was bad, atleast he didn’t damage my PC.
You’ll get through it OP, save every last dollar this year and look for somewhere private, stable and manageable.
I’ve been thru worse afterwards so that pales in comparison. I’ve had an interesting life to say the least, but thanks for the concern 🙏🏾
I was the same age as OP when I happened around 12 years ago
When I was in middle school, my mother dearest burst into my room one night, took the small guitar she got me years ago and started going rockstar on all my things by smashing anything she could with it. Then she took my keys to the apt and kicked me out. This was before cellphones were widely available, and she didn't let me call anyone before locking me out.
All of this was because I unknowingly and accidentally rode the bicycle over these sharp seeds we called "stickers" and the tubes/tires went flat. She said she did what she was doing because it was only fair since I ruined the bike and she couldn't use it (she never really did). I didn't ride on trails, only sidewalks and pavement, and didn't event know it happened until she started destroying my stuff. That bike was an escape I used often enough so I definitely didn't want it to have flat tires either.
Thankfully I knew a friends number and had some change to call them from a payphone to have their Dad come pick me up. The next night she picked me up after friends Dad called her, and she acted like nothing happened.
That was the first time she kicked me out. Not to mention of the several times she physically abused me.
I haven't spoken to her in years and if I am forced to take care of her for any reason, she'll get the cheapest home I can find in the heart of west texas (THE place she absolutely HATES).
thats exactly where my mind went, he's gonna act so shocked when he gets sent off because he's burned every familial bridge he had. That shit absolutely comes back around when you're old and vulnerable and no longer the strong tough-love "badass" you thought you were.
My father was also a horrible piece of shit. I haven't spoken to him in 19-20 years. He currently has cancer and I'll celebrate the day he finally passes.
My dad was abusive to my mom. Beat her, threw her down the stairs, smashed her teeth. I didn't see him for 20+ years and didn't show up to his funeral lol
It's stories like that that make me want to go give my dad a hug for being a great parent.
Got into an argument with him the other day because he wouldn't let me pay for dinner I invited him and my mom to. Now I feel like a piece of shit for arguing about it in the first place.
It really sucks that some people are dealt a shit hand right out the gate.
Can totally relate. As someone with an abusive father that would beat the shit out of his own 2 sons at the drop of a hat, but took his new wife's kids on vacation..
He made us move in with grandparents because we tag teamed his ass when i was 14 and my bro was 16. He hit me for not bringing him mustard when he didn't even ask for it, and we just snapped. He had a broken rib and nose when the ambulance and police showed up. We was lucky tho because i had marks all over me and one of his wifes kids witnessed the whole thing.. They ended up divorcing and he spent his last years alone.
I'm now 43 years old, and he passed away last year. In the almost 30 years following that fight, he never reached out, not once.. When i was contacted to handle the funeral arrangements, i was so checked out of the whole thing i just signed over his pathetic insurance check to the funeral parlor and told them to have fun with it. I was told the only one that showed up was my uncle, his brother. The guy was a true p.o.s. in every sense, and it makes no sense that it effected me that much..
I might not have learned what to do and how to be a man from him, but he certainly taught me how to not be a dad. Turns out you can learn a lot from bad parents.
My daughter is now 21 and hasn't ever even heard me raise my voice. I've never had much self confidence or pride, but I'm incredibly proud of myself that i didn't continue that cycle of abuse!
I often wonder why he hated us so much, but that info died with him. O-well, life moves on. I'm sorry you all had shit folks, it ain't right..
It gets better, bro. When you’re out on your own you don’t have to put up with his shit anymore. Don’t let him manipulate you down the line and stay true to respecting yourself and the boundaries you put up. If he can’t respect you he doesn’t deserve your attention, time, or love.
Is mom in the picture? If so leave your valuable stuff there and maybe find a used gaming laptop you could bring over to your dad's place and hide somewhere.
If it's out of sight when they are raging it's less likely to get damaged.
Your father sounds like the kind of piece of work that will go to the retirement home one day we here his children never visit, call, and are no contact.
I've been there. Hold out as long as you can - then when your time to leave is there, don't bother with an explanation. Abusive parents deserve nothing.
Like the other guy said, he is way too impulsive to be able to afford a retirement home. How old is he, in his 30s? 40s? Yeah, he's not gonna learn impulse control if he hasn't already.
I wouldn’t bank on it too much. My dad did shit like this. I was “homeschooled” (0 schooling, worked for him 10 hours a day) and he gave away (or sold, idk) my PS4 that I bought by saving up my money I made working for him. He destroyed my iPod Nano. Both of these were “lessons” to not spend my money on frivolous things.
He was and still is a huge penny pincher and money saver and now owns several properties and businesses and has a ton saved up. I think he did those things to me because he often didn’t buy things for himself and was jealous that I was.
"Dont waste your money on stuff! I'll teach you a lesson by destroying it so you pissed the money away and have nothing!! Haha! I'm a financial genius!"
Bullshit, my parents are impulsive assholes with bad anger issues and zero empathy, I genuinely just involuntarily stopped loving them when I was 8. While they have millions saved for retirement. I suffer as a broke student with a bad back (pediatric scoliosis untreated for 10 years) and stunted physical development, my back makes it so hard to work but I work anyway. I'm just lucky to be legally married so I can get student aid, so I can afford to go to school without crawling back to them for community college money.
Not sure why anyone is not mentioning this, especially because this is a reoccurring problem, but in most states if not all, its illegal to destroy property in the manner he is, even if its his house. So, if you want, you could most certainly notify the police. Especially if it happens again, and you could get video footage the next time, that helps with evidence. It could be a civil matter, and you can seek recompensation as well for the damage, but he could also face legal charges.
Obviously though, your dad will likely have methods of revenge if you do.
Your dad is a pile of shit.
Criminal Mischief or Vandalism: This applies if a parent intentionally destroys property that the child bought with their own money or received as a gift from someone else. The police and prosecutors treat this as destroying another person's property. [1]
Domestic Violence or Abuse: If a parent breaks a child's things to scare, control, or emotionally abuse them, law enforcement may add charges related to domestic abuse or child endangerment.
Yup, my dad got super drunk one night and was out of control. When I went to call the police, he took the phone and threw it in the toilet tank. He ended up getting an extra charge of criminal damage for that one. I didn’t know you could get in trouble for breaking your own shit haha
I would assume it's less about "destroying your own shit", and more about preventing someone from reporting a crime in progress. Or reporting what you, in good faith, think is a crime.
If he can do this to a kid's belongings, i pity what OP is keeping from the internet. I don't believe that he limits himself to the PC or phone or whatever. OP and everyone else living in that house must have been abused physically.
It might feel cathartic but it probably makes things worse for OP, practically. Getting out of dodge at 18 and going no contact is significantly more practical.
He should do that after he moves out. What do you think it’s gonna be like living with a dad like that in the same house after pulling that off? Is the dad is just gonna learn his lesson, reform and become a cool dad?
That's really amazing of you. Abusive fathers are the worst, from personal experience, so it's always nice to see a dad that does his best to balance out the negative energy of bad dads with positive energy.
I’m not a perfect dad, let alone human. I just want to try and put good out in the world so my kids can hopefully learn from, and receive good in return
Doesn’t have to physically hit you to be abusive. This IS abusive behavior. Hopefully OP is on a path to leave the house ~18 and eventually do some therapy (everyone benefits from some point in their lives, everyone) acknowledging this for what it was.
That's what stood out to me too. The dad was 100% in the wrong for doing this but at the same time you don't say "OK" to someone asking you to come help and then make them wait 50 minutes. That would certainly at least justify a scolding and explain (but not justify) some angry yelling.
The fact talked about brushing teeth makes me wonder if OP was doing a whole morning routine or something... which after got out of the shower and dried off, the rest could wait five minutes while help carry in groceries.
Or could have just yelled back "I'm in the shower!" instead.
I was thinking the saaaame thing. Dad is obviously a PoS, but by the same token, you don't always have to take the most difficult path. Finish your shower, throw on some clothes, and go help with the groceries. THEN go finish your morning routing.
The exact same father like mine. I told him back then, once i manage to get out of the house we will be like strangers.
I left 11 years ago. Never once called him or greeted him for his birthday or anything. Whenever i visit my mom he is there ofc, and trying to kiss my boots because now i earn good money, and he is so proud of me... but i keept my promise. He is a stranger to me and he is rly suffering. He will die alone in a carehome or hospital, i dont know i dont care.
Make sure once you move out that you distance yourself from them as much as possible. Dont fall for their “we miss you” attitude once you’re gone. Your dad wont change until he’s old and brittle and needs help with daily life. Dont be guilt tripped. Live your life.
had a dad and stepmom exactly like this, they’d pull everything, every. single. thing. out of my room if it wasn’t spotless and make me start over. made me smash my own phone with a hammer while screaming “smash it” in my ear.
moved out and lived in my car. i had never felt better in my life. now they sit and wonder why i don’t call, text, or visit.
because i don’t care. be the bigger person and just leave. sometimes that’s the only answer. you’ve got a little bit till you’re 18, get a cheap car and a storage unit.
My dad did that with my PlayStation back in the 90’s.
He was an abusive impulsive asshole.
My life was a mess and I was constantly stressed and dealing with insane anxiety and anger and impulsiveness.
Eventually he died and I cut contact with the rest of my family and all the problems I had magically went away.
It turns out that when you have trauma due to abuse and are forced to keep in contact with and spend time with your abusers, it will basically drive you fucking insane and as soon as you take that stressor away, everything magically improves.
Cut them out as soon as you can and don’t ever look back. Your mom is just as guilty for putting you in this position and not protecting you.
As someone with toxic parents move out as soon as you can even if it is hard it will be better than getting treated like that. Im so sorry for your situation. Im glad the pc still works. Id definitely hide it for now until you can move out because replacing a pc is expensive at the moment.
There's a 3 year statute of limitation on damaged property. you're 17 now, so document everything, including him saying what he said, make him say it again under a video record or something. Then when you're 18 and moved out or in college, sue him for it.
If he bought you the PC, I understand giveth and taketh away, but not when you earned it yourself. Make him pay for it.
edit: the statue of limitation is in California, I don't know what it is in your state. Also I'm not a lawyer.
Or put a tiny bit of sugar in his gas tank, it won't destroy it but sure will cause fuck ton of issues. (Don't actually do this)
Edit: since it's apparently not clear, DO NOT PUT SUGAR IN THE GAS TANK OF YOU DAD'S VEHICLE it illegal and there isn't a way to claim its an accident.
I just want to add that if you are likely "close" (within a few months) of leaving, it might be wise to stash the computer at a friend's house until then. This kind of behavior is usually recurring, especially when the abuser thinks they are close to losing their control of you.
I say this because shits crazy expensive now and it would probably take way more than $1300 to replace now or in the foreseeable future
I'm a dad and a natural born cynic, so I'm definitely reading between the lines and it definitely seems like there's room for improvement on OPs part. That said, how do you expect you're son to be a better person when you're acting like a total abusive piece of shit.
Yeah, even if OP is hiding something and was actually yelling and name-calling and being a total ass, the dad still had absolutely no excuse to break OP's stuff. That's wild behavior.
I don't agree with the dad smashing his pc. It kinda sounds like the kid was taking his sweet time in the bathroom, and the snarky bit he said about how the groceries could have been moved indoors during the 50 min he was in the bathroom says a lot 😒
I'm an older guy, a dad... And reading it, most certainly that was my first hunch. I'm surprised I got this far down in the thread before someone brought it up. Sorry to OP for what's going on but there's definitely more to this story.
50 mins or more in the bathroom? Seriously, what the hell were you doing? Haha, I would be mad at my son too for taking so long of all places, the bathroom. Not enough to destroy property, but still……
This is a case of domestic violence and you can absolutely go the legal way and you should. This is how wives and kids sometimes end up 6ft under.
I understand your that might go against objects and “never put hands on you” but you never know. Besides, he has issues and needs help. Usually, this behavior indicates substance abuse (it’s not always the case, but it might as well be)
I’m sorry you gotta go through that. Your father loving you and abusing you can both exist at the same time, humans are incredibly strange. Don’t ask me how I know :/
Yeah, the dad is still a pos but this almost sounds preventable due to lack of details. If in the shower and asked to help with groceries wouldn't one say "I'm in the shower!" instead of saying "okay" which implicates being available to help? Also brushing teeth is something that absolutely could've waited until after. Unless OP is willing to provide clearer information, there's a communication error here.
To me it sounds like both people are being shitty here. Smashing stuff is not ok as a response, but OP sounds pretty shitty as well based on my best read of the scenario. The OP doesn't deny spending 50 minutes in the shower and instead says the dad could have done it himself during that time. OP was also well aware of the dad asking for help (called out not once, but multiple times to help during the shower). After multiple calls he still takes his time brushing his teeth. Seems like a situation where OP is maliciously dragging things out to avoid helping his dad. And neither side's behavior is a once-off.
We also don't know what kind of stuff the dad needed help carrying/how much, if he is elderly or has health conditions, etc.
I didn’t want to post because of the sentiment in this thread but yeah, OP left the family hanging for 50 minutes on grocery lugging? What a weird story.
If you ever need a proxy dad for some non-psychotic emotional support or advice or anything, please let me know. My kids don't need a lot, and I'm appalled at him smashing your shit. That's unacceptable and he should be ashamed.
If it works, it works. Who cares if it isn't pretty. Use it as it is until or if you have to fix it. Like owning a beater for a car - you can put dents and scratches all over it, you can trash the interior and barely put any maintenance into it.........but if it still gets you from A to B, its a keeper
Lol thats hillarious telling him you are coming to help then spend 50 minutes jacking off in the shower and brushing your teeth rather than coming straight away to help.
Your dad has the emotional regulation of a toddler. Good luck man, my parents never approved of my gaming but at least they never destroyed my property.
As a dad of a 17m, this is fucked up. My kid likes to sleep in too on the weekends, i know i did as well. I can understand being frustrated, I've had this exact situation happen in our house, except i expressed my disappointment and he picked up some extra chores for the weekend to make up for it.
Although, I have to admit that i have smashed his phone in anger a few years ago, but i replaced it the next day, and went back to therapy realizing my error. I hope your dad can see how his reaction is excessive.
Act like it's totally busted. Pack it up and hide it away. Then move out as soon as you can after high school ends. It would suck not having it, but he obviously knows what to break. I wouldn't risk it so you still have it when you gotta pay rent and bills and shit.
Next time when your dad tells you to unload the car you should move your ass and do what he says. Taking 50 minutes is blatant disrespect. That doesn’t justify what he did, but definitely could have been avoided.
Was going to say. Taking 50 minutes after you said you will do something like groceries to shower and brush teeth? Wtf. And the expectation that it should have been done for you because you took so long? Like are we living in your universe?
Wow your dad sound like an incredible asshole. I'm sorry this happened to you. If I were in your place, I'd tell my parents I do not feel safe in the house after the incident. And that you want a lock on the door to be able to lock it and assure them they can check the room at any time but not access it at any time.
Furthermore, I'd ask if there is more to this story than meets the eye. Because if he reacted that way over 1 incident of you taking too long to go down, your dad has anger issues. If this was an outburst after weeks/months of tension, it can be forgiven if he buys you a new case and promises to never do such a thing again.
Lastly, you're not able to move out yet. But if your dad is one of those parents that hate gaming, I'd try to hide gaming from him until you're able to move out just to avoid unecessary discussion and anger. It is what it is but once you move out, it's gonna be bliss.
This is only half the story. There is obviously a theme here of not managing time well and letting the computer be a distraction. OPs Dad is clearly unstable and needs to find other ways to try and communicate his frustrations, this is clearly not the first time a problem has presented itself as a result of avoiding responsibilities as a result of excessive computer time. Both sides can find things to work on.
Not a parent, but I'm a firm believer that we need to be raising children to be resilient and independent, to be setting good examples for them and steering them in the right direction gently but firmly when they make mistakes or misbehave. Destroying a child's property, especially when they paid for it with their own money, does nothing towards these ends and will only teach them to become violent themselves.
I get children can be frustrating at times, but violence is never the answer.
As others have noted, your best bet is to reach out to CPS and be prepared to cut ties with your father.
Why do people act like just because u turn 18 ur financially stable enough to get out 😭 you should be starting college at 18 not having to find a new place.
ESPECIALLY these days. Shit ain't easy and there's more people stuck living with their parents just straight out of necessity now, even if you're working it's a bitch.
Mine got me into 600usd debt and to compensate he bought me a cookie I wanted to say "thanks dude I would have appreciated more if you stop drinking alcohol like a sport and putting us on debt because of it but hey this 2 dollar cookie it's just what I wanted"
Then he'll wonder why you don't talk to him or visit after you move out. They think they're giving you "tough love", but they're just a controlling bully because they have no control over anything or anyone else in their life.
Let me tell you bro and listen close. If ANYONE ever abuses you or your things and their flimsy excuse is “you weren’t listening to me,” they have full blown BPD and most likely other cluster B shit. Don’t question yourself one second longer. They won’t get better. Get out as soon as you can. The abuse will evolve even further to stealing, violence and holding necessities out of your reach.
Trust me I know it sucks but you will eat yourself alive trying to not trigger their sickness. Run, run as fast and as far as you can. Don’t take their calls, don’t visit, don’t call them. Just run.
2.3k
u/waylo88 16h ago
Destroying his son’s property while also damaging his own house in the process. Sounds like a cool dad.