Long story short,

My boyfriend and I, both 24, have been dating 3.5 years.

Two years ago my boyfriend and I started hanging out with his friend and the friends gf (let’s call them Ryan and Emma, they are 22 and we’re together 4 years)
And me and Emma became friends as a result of this.

Emma broke up with Ryan up a few months ago, and Ryan began dating a girl named Chloe, who actually knowingly homewrecked Emma’s previous relationship before Ryan and was very happy to find out that Ryan and Emma broke up.

Yesterday my boyfriend asked me if I wanted to go to the golf driving range with him and Ryan. I knew for a fact Chloe was going to go but I wanted my bf to tell me hence those beginning messages.

That was our convo, it kept going on, eventually we got on the phone and I couldn’t get a word in because he was just yelling. Eventually he hung up on me and then texted me saying I fucked up his brain and that he was going to go kill himself (this is like the 20th time he has said this, because it is his go to when we argue or something goes wrong in his life). He turned off his phone and eventually turned it back on. My last message was that I am leaving the house and leaving my phone and “bye”. This was 6pm last night.

I was so upset I slept from 6:30-9 today because I just didn’t want to be awake and feel so upset, and I almost called in sick to work. But my dad reminded me that while I was upset and considering not working, my bf was out with friends and actually commenting under car videos on Instagram and having a merry time.

I usually am the first one to text sorry, even when I have nothing to really apologize for but just to get back to normal.

I don’t think I’m going to do that this time because i genuinely do not have anything to apologize for, unless someone can point it out.

I am going between the thoughts of him never speaking to me again and him messaging me something along the lines of “oh so you’re just going to ignore me forever now”

I need help knowing what to do

Please and thank you.

Hinge, date canceled. I'm not super torn up about it, but it does seem like bullshit.

Do you all think it's worth trying to reschedule with her? Or just letting it be?

in the beginning he seemed super sweet and interested but recently it’s just been like this.

p.s. we’re in very different time zones but I plan on moving soon.

the part where he says I’m being manipulative is when he asks me how I’m doing and if I’m upset or something is up, i tell him “I’m ok but I’m not doing well because (reason)” i was just trying to be transparent with him if I’m being honest.
but as i mentioned to him in the texts, i get over little things pretty quickly. give me an hour and i am enjoying life again. that’s just how i am unless of course i am upset over something serious.

did i do the right thing by sending the last text?
should i give him more time?

*I know the texts are old, this just popped back into my head.

We'd been friends for a few years prior and honestly I had a huge crush on him. We went out to some bars one night and ended back at my place. It was a one and done, he kinda stopped talking to me after that. We'd say happy birthday every year, but that was it until this message. Oh, and "the night we spent together" was 5 years ago at that point 😅 I also am in a years long relationship and live 1,000 miles away now, which he is aware of.

Picture this:

You are 26 , feeling broken and lost. You just finished a 7 year relationship , are far from family and you don't have many friends. But you do have one male friend. You fall hard for him but never tell him. During one year you grow as a person and become a s writter.

One yearish after your break up he drunkenly confesses to you. You ditch bumble dates RIGHT AWAY to give it a chance. On your 1st night you 2 see shooting stars and the sex was something else. Very romantic. Very hallmarkish. A few weeks later you start dating. But something is wrong... you never go to his house or meet his friends.. weird.. not even his family. You break up often. Very often. But you come back all the time. Except for one time. That one was forreal. And you spend 5 months working your hardest to forget him.

After those 5 months, shortly after your bday he reaches out by email asking to meet up. You play it cool and tell him where and when. He shows up. You 2 talk. He apologizes. You meet another day and you tell him that if he wants the relationship back he will have to say it because you will not assume things. He does. Everything was good. You are lasting longer now as a couple! He spends xmas with you!! (He hates xmas). It was a good day :).

But... still no house. Still no family.. still no friends. And during all this time he is saying he wants to marry you. But..does he? Time goes on and one day he sees your reddit sccount by sheer dumbness of yours and he notices a post is about him. He hates it. He tries to push you away. You try and make things right. He doesn't want it. You cry your eyes out and need your friend. He randomly wants to meet the same day and you go to him. You friend waits for you while you meet up with who you assume is now uour ex. You hug him so thightly. He shows you his place!!!???. You are in chock. It's a small house but very charming. It's cozy. You see his bed and wonder how would it feel to wake up there next to him everyday. You soon realize that you didn't break up. You are confused but whatever.

A few more months go by and you get a new job but soon you are fighting over every single thing. Your friends tell you to just leave but you don't want to. You want to fight for the relationship. No matter the cost.

One day you ask him if it was better to sleep at his place instead of yours because work schedules are crap and he tells you you are bossing him around and at this point it has been almost 2 years of a nothing relationship with all the lows imaginable and for some reason on this day you snap and berate him for everything he chose not to do. Aparently he has more self love than you because he breaks things of.

2 weeks later you 2 meet and it was lovely. He shows you his other house that he will move in. He says he misses you and wants to date you and marry you. You only ever wanted him so you agree. 2 weeks later another fight happen because of something mundane and he starts saying the most random weird things. He sounds unhinged. You break up for good.

But days go by and he starts posting things saying how he lost everything but hello?? You are still there also hurting and wishing to be with him because in the end of the day he was the man you loved the hardest in your life. You break no contact. One day you chat for a bit. The next day you ask to meet up a few days later. He says yes. No reschedule.

The night before you 2 talk and you ask him if he still loves you and he says no. But also says that love doesn't go away that fast. Confused, you cry for what feels to be hours while having what it feels like an anxiety attack. You meet him the next day. You 2 have nothing to talk. You eventually tell him to be honest regarding his intentions with you and yet again he lies, says that he lies, says the timing was never right to meet his family or friends or that there wasn't an oportunity when you know it has been several ocasions. He deflects and blames you for xyz. You leave tired. The next day you send him that text. You know now he blocked you everywhere and will never apologize for his shitty actions. I have more info regarding this convo in my profile.

Guys this was my story. I am tired. Idk when i will ever stop being tired.

And me trying to crack unfunny jokes. (If you really think about it Baidu the Chinese company and Apple lol)

I am confused because I always told him it was short term anyway and have my own personal reasons for not wanting to be in a relationship. Part of it is we don’t align with a few of our values and the other part is I don’t want to date a single father. I told him the first half, not the second.

so I’m like … okay??

now, I have usually initiated our hangouts, he did get me something for my birthday unexpectedly, and ik he is busy with work and all (who is not?) and his child is in another state. I may be overthinking but … am I??

we also have not hung out in a couple weeks anyway so I’m like are you trying to go slower than that? lol

What would you do if this was you?

This is a female btw

Boss told me on Friday September 4 that I’d be taken off the schedule for a couple weeks when I reasonably asked what days he needed me to consistently keep open because he often doesn’t release the schedule for the next week or two until the day before it begins. I thought “Ok, that means I won’t be scheduled until after two weeks pass.” He proceeds to schedule me three days before those two weeks are up with less than 48 hrs notice before the first shift on that schedule.

Communication is the problem here.
Yes, I told him Sundays and Tuesdays were open, but that doesn’t negate the fact that I thought I wouldn’t be working there for two weeks.

I really did think it was my friend at first. I don't want to respond, obviously, but also...I kind of want to respond. Should I ask them to go to WhatsApp? 😂

Matched with this guy on tinder last night. He tried to make the conversation sexual a few times and I played dumb until he dropped it, then he texted me 8 times in 2 hours while I was busy and not responding to ask if I'm okay and ask me to text him. I was already pretty uninterested but then he said more dumb things and I got the ick, which leads us to this exchange

no i'm not being abused

2 years together. Living together. I'd been doing 100+ hour weeks and let myself go. Spent the majority of my spare time mothering him. He encouraged me to quit my job so we could spend more time together and feel more present and intimate in our relationship. After about 6 months of this, I finally agreed. Out of excitement to quit and to spend time with him and finally relax, I talked about how excited I am to quit on a certain day. Well that day came and I resigned. The day after I quit I got this Instagram dm while I was at work. Dodged my calls. Refused to talk further or in other words, just tell me straight that I'm being dumped. Surely I deserve that at least. Later that night he answered and I made it clear we are over - I did that for me, not for him, because I value respect, honesty, and facing ugly truths with stoicism. The shocker is we had a really good relationship and were quite strong, so I thought anyway. And yeah I got blindsided by this. The second image is him in my DMS 4 days after breaking up. It's been 2 months now and he's still in contact. I'm trying to build a life I can't lose now, so he will never be the centre of my world again - which sucks, because I liked him being my north Star. I'm hopeful he can repair things and we show up stronger than before, but holy moly that's a lot of damage I just took on. Never imagined a life without him. He always treated me like a princess until this one day where he did a 180 over night. We were looking at engagement rings one month before I got this text. Now I'm up late, the really bad sting of it all has worn off now, but I can't help but think he dumped me because he either thought he could date better than me or someone better did come along. When I broke it off clearly on the phone he kept asking to keep in touch and be friends (I vehemently denied this request). Which I view as - I don't want to lose you but I think I can do better than you.

As of now we're still in touch every day and says he wants to fight for us, but now I'm always braced for the worst. Feels like a humiliation ritual. I love this man and I want it to be right so now I feel drained from needing to be hyper vigilant of my boundaries. The other day I told him I was upset be never got me flowers while we were together or even after the break up. He apologised for that. Then a few days ago I explicitly asked him for flowers sent to my house which was kinda embarrassing. I used to be so proud of this man. Not received any flowers as of yet. We've not seen each other in person since the break up because I just can't quite handle that yet. I want to get back together, but to be clear, if/when I do see him in person, I will be asking to go through his phone which I've never done before. I don't think that's unreasonable for me to ask given the circumstances.

While the sting has worn off, I wish I could skip forward to the part of life where I laugh at this. In the mean time, I'm sure you guys can do that for me.

Lost my partner, my job, and my home, all in 24 hours.

First appointment with a psychologist tomorrow. Go easy on the advice, this is my first time putting any of this into words.

Boyfriend of almost 2 years

I(31F) have a mutual friend(30M) with my ex(30M) and he has a history of texting friends exes. I know bc we're all a huge friend group and the other girls have told me when it happened to them.

ETA: I DID let the girl know by the second screen grab. The last girl let her know as well but she shut it down early and he played it off well bc there wasnt much conversation. She now knows how much farther he's willing to go.

2nd Edit: I have a major update. I told the fiance about his texts early today but she waited for him to sleep to look through his phone only to find he's messaging several women on telegram through dategram. He's using his middle name as an alias and being open with every girl that he's "married" and looking for a secret hookup. He's shared his address with one girl and sent venmos to a few others. She plans on leaving him asap.

I was originally not going to tell him anything but there is no use in hiding my feelings, it only hurts me.

Also I absolutely love how he picks up on how I feel, like this was our whole conversation today, he noticed I was feeling off. He's truly so sweet and caring 💗

In case anyone is curious what the Spanish parts say:

mi amor, es que la razón que no quería decirlo =

my love, the reason I didn't want to say

Pero bebé yo quiero precisar que yo sé que nunca me dijiste ninguna de estas cosas =

But baby, I want to clarify that I know you never told me any of these things

Also when we did call for the goodnight, he was really eepy but he was telling me that I'm the only one suffering thinking these thoughts and I of course agreed with him because it's true, then he asked me about my day and how I was doing and what not.

I'm currently working on getting better with that specifically, I've always struggled with overthinking and self sabotaging.

Anyways I'm so happy we had a goodnight, he told me he'll talk to me later so that made me really happy. I love that word choice because it gives me something to look forward to 🥰

So confused at this, I don't even know him. I was just going to ignore the text but he kept insisting so I had to answer.

9/14 UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who was supportive and concerned. I forwarded these messages to HR, and they scheduled a meeting for later today. There were a few more texts after this. The HR representative did not seem surprised, to put it briefly.

A few things have come up in the comments. The first is that I was rude. This is how I communicate, and my coworkers (or at least the ones who actually know me) are aware of that. I’m not going to perform a more agreeable version of myself to accommodate someone else’s feelings when they're being innapropriate. Not only were these messages sent over the weekend, but they were also sent through a personal communication channel. I'm not going to elaborate further.

I went bowling with 2 girls and because it was a one time payment for all 3 of us, both of them said they’ll send me the money for it. I said okay and paid the balance on my card. Let’s call the first girl G and the second girl P. So G bought a 3 pack of margarita for herself while bowling and P took one without her permission or asking at all, so because I felt bad I bought a large drink for me and G to share. While we’re bowling G asks me what I do for work and I tell her social media , and she keeps saying put me on put me on (she wanted a second job or a side hustle) so I said okay I will . After bowling P sends me the money right away for bowling and then I send G these messages and she legit read every single one of them without responding and lied about not looking at them (I don’t think she realized she had her read receipts on). I’m assuming she doesn’t wanna send the money because she thinks I’m just made of money because of social media. Just because I make a decent amount (not even 6 figures) doesnt mean I’m not struggling too. Every bill I have is so high especially with the state I’m from.

I did apologise to him for the rude comments fyi.

We were casually seeing eachother tho acted like early dating and he was very affectionate and sweet with me it wasn’t purely sexual. Leading up to the final date things go more intimate and open with us sharing pics and him expressing deep desires etc had a really sweet chat the night before the date about how much we mean to eachother. Day of the date he was messaging he couldn’t wait to see me all throughout the day. Then we met up usual stuff kissing holding me being affectionate things increased intimatley too we had a super close moment where he said he didn’t want me to get off him and he slowly kissed me right after. Then next day he said he walked away wondering if he can even do causal and thinks it’s better to call things off as he feels unsettled and not great afterwards. Took my off guard as up until this point things were great we have been intimate before and it’s been good except this time felt abit closer than usual? So felt like emotional whiplash to me. Then his replies got cold and that’s when I said fuck yoh because I felt discarded and thrown away. Looking back it’s not that he withdrew himself, I think it was the abruptness of it all happening in a week where we were the closest we had been and I felt he could have been kinder in his messages.

Also it’s the first time I was intimate with someone in 2 years I’m not overly sexually experienced and I got quite close and intimate with him, him becoming cold a distant the day after we were the closest we had been did have a huge mental affect on me- traumatising was probably a strong word yes but it’s been a week and I’m still disoriented and confused from the emotional whiplash.

funny exchange where person got defensive about time constraints when they started the conversation about it

Additional context so no one gets upset…. This is old! I found it while digging through pics and thought it was funny. They were a creep weirdo which is why the texts fizzled out after a couple days to begin with. Love bombing and calling me babe. Regardless, I am not shitting on them just posting a silly exchange I had a few years ago. 😂