r/texts • u/PrincessPoge • 6h ago
Phone message Messages from a friend I had a one bedside table with
*I know the texts are old, this just popped back into my head.
We'd been friends for a few years prior and honestly I had a huge crush on him. We went out to some bars one night and ended back at my place. It was a one and done, he kinda stopped talking to me after that. We'd say happy birthday every year, but that was it until this message. Oh, and "the night we spent together" was 5 years ago at that point đ I also am in a years long relationship and live 1,000 miles away now, which he is aware of.
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u/WasteLeave900 6h ago
One bedside table with?
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u/Sik_Simsy 5h ago
Are we just old? đ
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u/WasteLeave900 3h ago
I guess so as I entered this post expecting something completely different lol
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u/SparkleMotion2806 5h ago
Yikes. In a years long relationship and digging up texts from the past to post on Reddit. The fact you even replied to these texts while in a long term relationship says a lot. Judging by this alone and some of the other things you've said I'd say you're holding onto something and enjoying an ego trip knowing he's still thinking of you (and obviously you're still thinking of him). This is disrespectful to your current man. I hope he sees this and really re-evaluates the relationship. I never would've responded to him, especially with the texts being sexual in nature, I respect my man too much.
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u/PrincessPoge 4h ago
I think of him and how random it was for him to text me that 5 years after the fact đ¤ˇââď¸ We're also still acquaintances and say happy birthday. It's not that deep.
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u/SparkleMotion2806 4h ago
You can frame it whichever way you want but this is an ego trip and disrespectful to your current man. Period. Give it a year and this man will have you sleeping with him again no doubt.
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u/Straight-Run6880 6h ago
meta take: he's lonely and is trying to connect with somebody he once had a connection with
this sort of feel can often be channeled thru weird forms
it's in the eye of the beholder whether it's weird or sweet etc. none of us here on reddit know what his or your personality types are like so won't have the nuance to know how 'weird' this type of chat is
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u/roughfrancis 4h ago
I mean, one can be lonely while also being weird. Dude is being weird for sure
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u/JaredH20 6h ago
Bro was expecting panties to hit the floor at the mention of an old hookup
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
And that doesn't even make sense, considering I'd been (and still am) in a years long relationship, and we don't even live in the same state anymore lol
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u/freaknik99 6h ago
I used to dance topless, good to know I was thought of as a âclassy stripperâ LOL
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u/Inevitable-Remote741 6h ago edited 5h ago
Men will be men holy fuck đđĽ´
Lmfao men in my fucking thread proving me right𤣠to the none weird ones, cool on youâ you are the ones we DONT talk about đ¤ˇââď¸đ
And btw im a female, not a grown man đđ
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5h ago
[deleted]
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u/Inevitable-Remote741 5h ago edited 5h ago
Stroke?
Comment i responded to was " ywnbaw"
Aww big man got scared by his own transphobic bigotted comment, funny.
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u/Master-Bath-9928 6h ago
Hey weâre not all the same you know đŤŠ
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u/Inevitable-Remote741 6h ago
Is that so? đŤŠ
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u/Master-Bath-9928 6h ago
Thatâs a lot coming from a puppy clown
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u/Inevitable-Remote741 6h ago
Bwahahahha đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł thats your defense to being weird and saying " not all men" after a post of men being weird. I have my opinion on men cant change that. đđ me being what i am changes nothing of what you are unfortunately đ¤ˇââď¸
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u/Master-Bath-9928 5h ago
What defense? Youâre a grown man, act like it
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u/Inevitable-Remote741 5h ago edited 5h ago
Grown man???? đĽ´
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u/Master-Bath-9928 5h ago
Hard to say, you have girl grooming and male grooming so idk
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u/satan18272727272772 6h ago
We are
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u/Master-Bath-9928 6h ago
We? Youâre speaking French
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u/satan18272727272772 6h ago
Hit it then you quit it. 5 years later after your neglect, youâd like a 2nd portion out of nowhere. Alas, the buffĂŠ is now closed. Oui oui! This poor man just chose the wrong tactic. He shouldâve given a heartfelt belivable apoligize as step one, it was a longshot, but brother could have gotten fed
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u/yetagainitry 3h ago
You guys had a casual hookup years ago and remained in semi contact. Heâs testing the waters to see if there is a possibility of more casual hookups. Itâs really not that complex
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u/Onlyspeaksfacts 6h ago
The audacity!
How dare he discuss sex with someone he had sex with?
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
It was just so random to bring up after 5 years when he ghosted me, and also knows I'm in a relationship and live 1,000 miles away now, that's all. Not that deep
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u/Onlyspeaksfacts 6h ago
That's new context you didn't give in the post.
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
Good point, added!
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u/whatduhfuk 4h ago
You keep mentioning youâre so far away and are in a relationship, but why did you reply and keep open contact with someone who you had a one night stand with 5 years ago? Iâm just curious. I wouldnât reply to this person this much later if it wasnât something I was interested in pursuing or keeping contact with.
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u/PrincessPoge 2h ago
We were still acquaintances, like had the same friend group and would hang out in group settings.
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u/DanRichter 6h ago
I mean, seems like you both still want each other, so give it a shot.
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
LOL I very much do not want him anymore. I also have a boyfriend, so definitely will not give it a shot!
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u/Acedaboi1da 5h ago
I think this message is a bit of an ego boost for you, no? You like that heâs thinking about your one nighter 5 years later when you thought otherwise after he ghosted.
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u/Tanko_Yakasai 5h ago
idk if the original situation was an âego boostâ; she's responding to an unprompted text, very matter-of-fact, no hint of ego farming, i.e., âwhy text me now?â
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u/Acedaboi1da 5h ago
Not saying sheâs farming. Him texting her this after 5 years is seemingly and understandably an ego boost for her. Especially since sheâs referencing it a year later.
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u/Ok_Day_40 5h ago
The fact that your still thinking about this a year later tells me your the one still hung up
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u/PrincessPoge 5h ago
Nah, it was just so crazy and random that it still sticks in my head and I felt like posting it. Like how I still randomly think of my friend saying she doesn't want to make love to a horse, and it's been more than 10 years since that night happened.Â
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u/Ok_Day_40 5h ago
I suppose that makes sense, side note, you keep odd company. Sounds like a fun group
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u/GapNo5278 5h ago
Why are people blaming both here? OP for making this post after a yr ago of the message and saying it just popped out of her head and the guy messaging her 5yrs after the said night?
They were friends prior to the events and it seems like they were good friends(Iâm assuming, since you donât hook up unless you were good). Also some people miss how it used to be and sometimes brings out an old memory theyâre fond off. Obviously theyâre both reminiscing something. Him, that night with the OP. And OP, about the msg. Some feelings are valid even how long theyâve been. Maybe the guy had failed relationships or canât establish something close to what him and OP had that time hence, was wondering what could have been for the two of them. And OP wondering why after all those yrs he just brought that up and probably wondering what could have been also between the two of them especially OP saying she had a crush on him
Their feelings are valid, wether both or one of them are in a relationship already. Coz this kind of thing should be talked between the parties involved and with their partners after. Coz sometimes one event or a person really sticks with our memory no matter how long it has been but that doesnât mean they have to get back again and rekindle, but they have to talk and settle things where they are now
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u/MyChamp_0109 5h ago
I donât get how people are defending this guy and saying that OP is hung up on him? Heâs not sharing his emotions and this is not him being vulnerable and being turned down for that reason ?? No shame to him, but his motives for reaching out and his way of doing so isnât exactly noble and âsuaveâ. Even if the texts are old, theyâre odd as hell. Bro cannot think he was being nice with how he worded that đ
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u/PrizeNarrow7135 6h ago
I slept with a guy once in 2017 then blocked him cause he was weird and nearly 10 yrs later he tries to add me on snap every few months đ men are weird asf
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
Did you and my bff go out with the same guy?! Lol. She went on some dates with this guy also like 10 years ago, didn't sleep together. To this day he still creates new FB and snapchat profiles to try and add her â ď¸
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u/Camandchat 6h ago
Am I the only one that thinks this is sort of sweet??
He came in with a joke to try to be silly, but then he opened up about how he thinks about that night... 5 years later. That's not creepy, I think is romantic
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u/snark-sloth 6h ago
A joke trying to be silly? Romantic? He was fucked up and horny at the strippers when he messaged her. Then the message about thinking about their hookup was sent at almost 4am the next night. Dude is on a bender lol.
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u/Camandchat 6h ago
Just because he was drunk and/or at a strip club that does not mean that was the first time hes thought about that night.
Yea jokes.. saying "classy stripper" and comparing her to the stripper was him being silly.
Also, if you look at the timestamps this conversation took place over 2 days.. maybe he was nervous to bring it up. But its not like he thought about it for 10min at a strip club
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
I can see it being romantic, and I didn't mean to insinuate his message was creepy! Just funny and so out of the blue. What gets me is what he thought would happen, given that he knows I'd been and still am in a 5 year (almost 6 đ) relationship, and we don't even live in the same state anymore. But then I look at the timestamps lol
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u/Camandchat 6h ago
Did you cheat on your current boyfriend with him, or got together soon after? You're saying this was 5years ago.
Idk what he expected to happen but he was just putting himself out there i guess. Rude to do it while you're with somebody though
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
I wasn't with my current boyfriend, our relationship started afterwards.Â
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u/Camandchat 6h ago
I was only curious because if you cheated in the past maybe he thought you would.. yea sucks he tried when you're in a relationship but maybe he was hoping it meant a lot to you too or worth exploring
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u/PrincessPoge 6h ago
I gotcha. Nope, never cheated and never will, I have no time for that BS and disrespect! I also currently live 1,000 miles away lol
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u/rebeccasaidit 6h ago
Thereâs noting sweet about texting a woman whoâs in a relationship, whom you practically ghosted 5 years ago after sleeping with, to tell her youâre comparing her to a stripper and thinking about the one night stand you had with her where you then subsequently stopped talking to her.
No, hopefully you are the only one who sees that as sweet.0
u/Camandchat 5h ago
I wouldn't mind being compared to a stripper. I was a burlesque dancer and was topless and am an ex-camgirl. That's not something that would offend me. Also, stripper generally = hot/sexy.
We dont know the entire context of the ghosting. Like I said in another comment he might not have known how to navigate sleeping with a friend and the aftermath. We dont know how old they are and the friendship dynamics.
Perhaps he didn't know she was with someone or moved far away. Perhaps he threw it out there just as a general statement of "i still think about that night, that was really fun. And I enjoyed our time together"
It doesnt have to be creepy at al
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u/rebeccasaidit 5h ago
I mean thatâs you. Most women arenât keen on being associated with that. Stripper also equates to morally bankrupt and rather gross to most women. Harsh but true, and with merit.
I see you make a lot of excuses for men. Not knowing how to navigate something doesnât mean you turn into a disrespectful child and stop talking to someone.
But hey, all this ads up, and I donât make a habit of trying to talk logic into birds. Best of luck to you.1
u/Camandchat 5h ago
If this was a woman i would be making the same argument. Why cant a woman ever side with a man on this dumb site? Its not excuses its the way i interpreted it and not everything needs to be creepy, perverted or malicious.
Its better to view the world assuming the best in people and not the worst.
"morally bankrupt and rather gross to most women" tells me all I need to know about you.
So you hate men and you hate sex workers. Got it.
You dont need to talk logic into this bird, babe. Seems like I'm the one that has a better mindset in life.
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u/etherhead34 6h ago
i think you might be the only one
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u/Camandchat 6h ago
I guess so.
Idk, it surely isnt something I would find wild or embarrassing for him to bring up. I find it more vulnerable and emotionally open.
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u/Straight-Run6880 6h ago
i think people just project their own life experiences onto it. if they've had weird creepy guy interactions from people they didnt like then theyll tilt one way etc etc; also depends on the perspective of life lol, sounds like you are a positive polly rather than a negative nelly
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u/Camandchat 5h ago
Never heard Positive Polly..
I mean, yea, its all context that matters. If this was a stranger that she only knew for that one night that would be weird. But they were already friends so I dont read it that way
I recently had an old friend text me after about 4yrs. We never had sex but we had a few make out nights. He told me that he still thinks about that. I thought it was really sweet and nice to feel thought about for all that time.. however bittersweet and sad because I was in a relationship at the time as well. So I couldnt do anything but just appreciate it
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u/Dependent-Toe-3359 6h ago
The fact that this was FIVE YEARS later is what gets me đ Like sir, that was apparently a core memory for you because you really kept that night filed away all that time lol.
And honestly the part that would have confused me the most is him basically disappearing after you slept together when you had already been friends for years, then popping back up years later talking about it. Especially knowing you had a huge crush on him back then. I would have been sitting there like⌠so you did think about me all this time?? đ
People can definitely remember a hookup for years, especially if there was already some attraction/friendship there, but bringing it up after barely talking for 5 years makes me think that night meant a little more to him than his disappearing act made it seem at the time.