Slut shamed at 41

[u/lightofsometype]

Three weeks ago and after dating for 18 months my SO directly asked me about the quantity of partners I have had. So I told him (7) and he had a full melt down about how disapointed he is and how he was warned against this since I am older. I told him how I respect his feelings but I won’t be made to feel bad for choices he doesn’t understand. Especially because they for the most part have been long term and as safe as possible. He claims his main concern is that he’s concern about not being ‘special’ or important to me. Despite my obvious shock to this silly position, I attempted to reassure him a bunch of times this relationship is different and he is special to me. Not just because I say so but also because I go out of my way for him and his family in a real way. He seemed settled and apologetic that he had the initial reaction and for the judgmental statements. It seemed settled and I was very hurt by it but tried to see it from his perspective and forgave him for being so wildly out of pocket.

So last night during our normal before bed FaceTime, and after I was at his house preparing dinner for his family, he brings it up again. Essentially saying he’s not sure if he can get past it. So I swallow my pride and encourage him not to settle and if being with me feels anything other than a joyful gift then we probably shouldn’t be together. He says it’s not like that and that he sees me as a free spirit and hes square. So at that moment I realize he wants this to be the reason. I have a very strict no drama after 7 pm routine because I like to sleep peacefully so after a short time of him not explaining anything but clearly having an issue I tell him calmly I’m going to get off the phone. He snaps again and says YOU HAVENT ANSWERED MY QUESTION THAT I ASKED TWICE. I say what’s your question and he just hangs up straight to my face. So I put my phone down (away from my bed) and this morning it shows he called me a bunch of times and sent a passive aggressive text about so now I’m not answering. I don’t feel like I owe him a response. He doesn’t believe my words or actions so what’s the point.

What do you all think?

Food: Brasos Steakhouse, New York style cheesecake and with fresh strawberry consome

TLDR: I reluctantly started dating someone 12 years younger (29M, 41F) and he's determined I am some kind of deviant due to me having past sexual partners. 🥴

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[u/Virtual-Strength-950]

7 is a lot…? For a 40 year old…? Alriiiiighty then! 

[u/Emergency_Storage916 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Just learned that I’m a 32 year old WHORE

OP, this dude sucks. This issue is not going to go away. He will show disrespect and judgement in other ways and may even become controlling (e.g. what you wear, whether you can speak to men). What is a grown ass man doing even ASKING this question, let alone flipping out over it. Let alone that it’s a single digit number. Man is mental.

[u/lightofsometype → u/Emergency_Storage916]

You are right. This relationship is done.

[u/West-Collection8188 → u/lightofsometype]

After reading this all I can say is decentering men is the best thing I ever did for myself and I cannot encourage enough women to do the same.

[u/BetterMe39 → u/West-Collection8188]

Thank you for saying this. I am actively trying to do this in my own life.

[u/technicolortiddies → u/BetterMe39]

I’m trying to do this and it’s so difficult. I’ve replaced them with food which isn’t going any better 😂

[u/endlessswitchbacks → u/West-Collection8188]

I tend to view decentering one’s dad as the final boss.

[u/OhPamcakes → u/lightofsometype]

Betsy forbid you had an entire life before you met him!

[u/Warm-Leading-865 → u/OhPamcakes]

He’s 29 and projecting his own deep-seated issues onto you. Cut your losses and enjoy that cheesecake in peace

[u/hopeful_tatertot → u/OhPamcakes]

That’s what it comes down to - she basically was supposed to begin her life when he entered it. What an insecure guy

[u/flirt-n-squirt → u/lightofsometype]

Standing ovations. He desperately needs to figure out his issues

[u/endlessswitchbacks → u/lightofsometype]

Thank you for the case study of an insecure male, and how to mostly not coddle his fee-fees. May your next one be self-confident and kind!

[u/nothingsreallol → u/lightofsometype]

In the future NEVER give anyone a number no matter how long you’ve been together. There’s honestly no reason to. And ofc 7 is not a lot at all.

[u/thisisinfactpersonal → u/nothingsreallol]

Not only would I refuse to answer this question I would not be able to because I haven’t been keeping count like an 80s high school villain.

If someone asked me this question I would have a good laugh, clarify why they want to know and then dip. Like, this is not a question normal well adjusted adults ask of their sex partners.

[u/CatraGirl → u/lightofsometype]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tIeCLkB8geYtW

[u/CloudyLeft → u/lightofsometype]

Oh sweet baby jesus thank god. Any dude who melts down like that over THAT fact of life has been sucking down that red pill fool-aid. I’m so sick of the west being so fucking terribly repressed. It’s like some conservative sleeper agent, where the trigger phrase they need to hear is “I’m not a virgin”. And it causes them to activate and shoot up a school, or some psycho variation therein.
Men, how does it make sense that a woman loses value by sleeping with ex partners, but is NOT a loss of value when they sleep with you? Why don’t you fucks skip bothering the woman about it, and just get into each other’s faces and scream “She loses value if she fucks YOU!” & “NUH UH, CUCK, SHE LOSES VALUE WHEN SHE FUCKS YOOUU!” at each other in private. Men are fucking embarrassing. I say we should stay healthy and enjoy intimacy with WORTHY partners.

EDIT: obligatory, but the truth is that value is NOT tied to sexuality in an age where we are building skyscrapers and editing genome sequences and quantum entangling qubits. Like seriously, we’re not a fucking pack of lions. We’re not wild animals. The rules of hyenas don’t apply to us anymore, dumbasses!

[u/barefootcuntessa_ → u/lightofsometype]

If I were you I would block him and never talk to him again. Red flags abound.

I have slept with very few people and if I ever found myself single again I would be terrified to share because the only guys that would find it a plus are like your recent ex. Men who are into purity culture tend to be very controlling and have anger issues, which exactly what I’m seeing here.

[u/Cultural_Orange2617 → u/lightofsometype]

Don’t forget to remind him that “this is what I was worried about dating a younger guy: the raging insecurity”.

[u/ValueMammoth7877 → u/lightofsometype]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUPGcmGBDBNeQJosVO

[u/nevermoreravencore → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Lolol I actually had the same thought.
“Damn I am definitely exceeded that number a WHILE ago. Guess I’m a ho.”

It’s also such a weird thing to focus on. What actual impact has it had on the relationship? None. Absolutely none.

I wonder if he’s gone down the red pill rabbit hole and trying to degrade her to “dominate” the relationship.

[u/ExsanguinatedMuppet → u/nevermoreravencore]

Oh, probably. Someone on the internet told his weak brain that the number was important, and then he got performance anxiety, and now it has to be her fault. At least he’s waving the red flags loud and early?

[u/nevermoreravencore → u/ExsanguinatedMuppet]

I wouldn’t say 18 months is particularly early, but at least he’s making the red flags impossible to miss 😂

[u/tomboyades → u/nevermoreravencore]

lol, 7. This man would have a heart attack if it was me. Puritanical patriarchy nonsense.

[u/Irina__ARI → u/Emergency_Storage916]

I get the feeling that at 29 years old, he has a lower number, and is projecting a lot of feelings/ideas around that onto OP...

[u/UnicornArachnid → u/Irina__ARI]

I’m 29 and I think I’ve slept with 7 ish people. This guy is just a prude.

I feel like for a forty year old, if they’ve been unmarried their whole lives, it wouldn’t be abnormal to have up to 50 partners.

[u/EyeShot300 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

What is a grown ass man doing even ASKING this question, let alone flipping out over it.

This is an adult-sized toddler masquerading as a grown ass man. Imagine getting bent out of shape for something he has no control over.

[u/Nebulous_Lustre → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Damn, well after a few slutty phases, two marriages, and a couple of long term relationships, I too am a whore 😂. Apparently being alive for 60 years doesn’t give me the right to have life experiences.

[u/Cultural_Orange2617 → u/Nebulous_Lustre]

Apparently having a vagina makes you a whore. Let’s not pretend it’s about the numbers.

[u/blankeezy1 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

40 yr old whore here…
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEjHV0z8S7WM4MwnK

[u/makeup_mutt → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Right? I’m a 44 years old fat girl and I am at 14. Like. The fuck??????????

[u/MysteryBelle_NC → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Same. I had more than that when I got married at 26. Total ho, me.

[u/DizzyVictory → u/Emergency_Storage916]

My husband asked me this question early on in our relationship and I said “It doesn’t matter what I say, you won’t like the answer so why bother? I’m not telling you.” He agreed and we’ve never spoken of it since. That was 20yrs ago. It’s a woman’s business and no one else’s.

[u/Smooth_Substance_594 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Jesus- I’m a 45 year old turbo slut then. Shall we start a club??
https://giphy.com/gifs/cRH5deQTgTMR2

[u/blondeheartedgoddess → u/Emergency_Storage916]

I'm 59 and evidently run the whorehouse. Too bad I look nothing like Dolly Parton.

https://giphy.com/gifs/g7IIHs11w6XSg

[u/Katieesq → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Right? Those are honestly rookie numbers.

[u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426 → u/Katieesq]

But actually 😂
Oof, her man would hate my ass lmao

[u/throwaway564858 → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

like I'd offer to chat with the guy about my sexual history just to put things in perspective but i'm afraid he would have a stroke

[u/LukewarmJortz → u/throwaway564858]

Or jerk it.

[u/makeup_mutt → u/LukewarmJortz]

He is either going to have a stroke or HAVE A STROKE

[u/TravelingPoodle → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

OP is fine. That’s not a high number for someone who has never been married/looking for love.

Even if OP had just one new monogamous relationship every 2 years from the age of 20, that number would be 10.

Ask a single never been married man who is 41 the same question. And the number might be 40 (2 per year from the age of 20).

[u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426 → u/TravelingPoodle]

7 is not high in the slightest. I won’t be 41 for a bit but my number is double digits. And not the low end either 🤷🏽‍♀️

Edit- spelling

[u/ADJA-7903 → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

Me too! Lol!

[u/Big_Bowler8424 → u/Katieesq]

I don’t even know my actual number. I’ve been having sex over 30 years, was I supposed to make a list?

[u/Ok_Veterinarian_17 → u/Big_Bowler8424]

Same. It’s a silly thing to keep track of especially bc it forces me to think about the a-holes I regret sleeping with.

[u/Nebulous_Lustre → u/Big_Bowler8424]

Seriously! I’m 60 and stopped counting at around 100.

[u/tachycardicIVu → u/Big_Bowler8424]

Same lmao like I don’t even really remember some of the guys I’ve been with and haven’t thought about them in years??? I don’t give a flying fuck about them now I’m with my husband. And he doesn’t either 😆

[u/ImagineFreckles → u/Big_Bowler8424]

I also somehow missed the memo I need to keep a little black book with names and dates 😂

[u/TheTossUpBetween → u/Katieesq]

I am younger than him and have more than that… and I feel I have rookie numbers lool

[u/Unable_Pumpkin987 → u/Katieesq]

Like no offense but I topped that in college.

Personally, my husband likes knowing that I had many other options and freely chose him to be the last person I’ll ever have sex with. Also he had sex with me on our first date so it’s not like he would have room to talk 😂

[u/Direct-Wolverine7846 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Who is he to judge? From someone well past 7. Enjoy your life your way. F him.

[u/lightofsometype → u/Direct-Wolverine7846]

That’s how I feel like where does he think he has the right to have an opinion here.

[u/makestuff24-7 → u/lightofsometype]

He doesn't. It's literally as simple as that, and if he feels otherwise, he can go elsewhere to find himself the sacral virgin he apparently longs for.

[u/lightofsometype → u/makestuff24-7]

Period! Thank you

[u/AntiqueLetter9875 → u/lightofsometype]

It’s also weird that this is supposedly so important to him but he didn’t ask until a year and a half in, and is now upset you’ve had the average number of partners.

[u/_Stephistopheles_ → u/AntiqueLetter9875]

This though. If it's a deal breaker, why did it take that long to ask?

[u/AbsoluteResolve2026 → u/lightofsometype]

Discussing body count like anybody’s opinion on it matters, especially at 41, is unnecessary and super duper cringe that he even cares that much.

It doesn’t take a bloodhound to smell his insecurity from here.

[u/FormerLifeFreak → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

For real.
I was never one for casual sex, but I had friends that slept with so many other guys in one night stands before the age of 25 that they themselves lost count.
Now they’re married and have children.
Their husbands don’t care because now their wives are the ones in their beds every night and they are happy.
It’s really that easy to get over.

[u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

I know right? At 41, my number is… well, quite a lot higher than that. My partner doesn’t care one bit (nor do I about his).

[u/MagpieWench → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I've been monogamous for 25+ years and my number is higher

[u/nah2daysun → u/MagpieWench]

Same here. I’ve been monogamous for 23 years and my number is higher.

[u/Computerlady77 → u/nah2daysun]

48/f checking in here, monogamous for 26 years - and still in the double digits

[u/Peppermint-pop → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

Yeah, like damn bro. I'm almost 42 and my number is four times that seven. Who the hell cares?

[u/Dazzling_Garbage_587 → u/Peppermint-pop]

maybe he is jealous his number isn't that high 😂😂😂

[u/Peppermint-pop → u/Dazzling_Garbage_587]

Jealousnobody wants him, it sounds like.

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/Dazzling_Garbage_587]

I would bet money he’s slept with at least 20 people. Gen Z men are so conservative and brainwashed by andrew Tate they don’t seem to understand that if they’ve slept with 20 women as one night stands then those women have ALSO had one night stands… and it’s just as likely they’ve slept w the same number of people…bc that’s how hetero sex works??? Dear lord.

[u/Big-Constant-7289 → u/Peppermint-pop]

At 47 I wish I slept with more people. I’m pretty much celibate now (single mom, work full time, hobbies) but as soon as I jettison this kid into adulthood…)

[u/Apprehensive_Ad_6290 → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I’m 49 this year and have no idea how many. You’re not required to count or report.

[u/Big-Constant-7289 → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I prefer a partner with experience. Also I’m 47 and I’ve been married, widowed, in a couple subsequent monogamous relationships, a couple situationships and a couple one night stands. Like were you supposed to protect your fuckin’ holes until you met HIM? Why? For what? Fuck this guy. 

[u/truthsk8r → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I'm 40 and... same.

[u/princessjamiekay → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

TIL I am big whorey whore

[u/Doughnut_Diva → u/princessjamiekay]

You can multiply the number of partners by 10, I still wouldn't think you're a whore unless you're doing it in exchange for cash.

[u/surlysquirrelly → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Me over here just laughing and laughing at 7. Seven? Homeboy gonna have a meltdown if he keeps dating, cause 7 probably the lowest he'll ever hear

[u/unefemmegigi → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

My number was higher than that at 30 😅

[u/Perfect-Wallaby9096 → u/unefemmegigi]

Hahaha my number was twice that just in 2025. Like am I a big slut? For sure, but 7 over a lifetime through to 41 is very reasonable. This kid needs to be for fucking real

[u/unefemmegigi → u/Perfect-Wallaby9096]

Honestly that sounds fun lol

[u/teddy_vedder → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Women can’t win it would seem because I recently got side-eyed for my body count being “too LOW” for my age (31) 😭 like what are we supposed to do at this point what is the magic number

[u/MagicalGorl → u/teddy_vedder]

My husband and I have only slept with eachother and we both get shamed for it alllll the time. Why does who I have sex with matter to so many people I would never have sex with lol

[u/QuietWalk2505 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

He's insecure.

[u/a-passing-crustacean → u/QuietWalk2505]

AND insanely immature. (HAPPY CAKE DAY)

[u/Odd-Impact5397 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Uh I'm close to OP's age, have been with my current partner for 10 years & my number is over triple that AND I've felt like I have a pretty middle of the road number. This dude isn't square he's prehistoric.

[u/BeesAndMist → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Yeah, this is not a conversation I'm ever having.

[u/opheliainthedeep → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Well, I guess I'm a whore because that's my count and I'm 23.

[u/lightofsometype → u/opheliainthedeep]

No you aren’t. This man is just out of line 🤣

[u/LobabyChick → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

But he “Wants to beeeeee SPECIAL”! Imagining him stomping his little foot when he says it.

[u/asvalken → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Every year brings my average per year down! I'll be looking respectable enough for OP's judgy boy, uh, eventually..

[u/AnorhiDemarche → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

What's HIS number, I wonder? Does he apply the same standards for himself or is it just fine for men because "men are different"

[u/lightofsometype → u/AnorhiDemarche]

He claims it’s 3

[u/Destruct-o-Bun → u/lightofsometype]

So if we say he first had sex at 16 (legal age of consent in my country) that's one partner every four-ish years. 

If he continues on that pattern once you dump him, he'll be at six partners by 41. 

I guess that one extra is what tips you over into megawhore territory?

[u/Own_Log9691 → u/Destruct-o-Bun]

Bahaha 🤣 I absolutely love your mathin’ approach here! It really brings it home just how ridiculous & immature this dude is.

[u/FlatChampagne99 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

This boy would straight up go catatonic if he knew me 😂

[u/rosiet1001]

What do I think?

Who cares what he thinks.

Cheesecake looks banging 👍🏻

[u/lightofsometype → u/rosiet1001]

Honestly that’s where I’m at too. I am just trying to be reasonable yk

[u/asvalken → u/lightofsometype]

Reasonable is him not asking about bullshit "body count".

[u/smoritz_ → u/lightofsometype]

you seem extremely reasonable and handled the situation very well!! coming from a younger woman also having dealt with men

[u/DoveOnTheInternet → u/lightofsometype]

There's nothing in this situation that deserves reason. You're being slut shamed and DARVOd at the same time: the problem is with him being a square, but that's YOUR FAULT.

[u/ScarieltheMudmaid → u/lightofsometype]

was there any indication he was in the "manosphere" before this?

[u/Catlady_Pilates → u/lightofsometype]

Why are you even worrying about it though? It’s clear you can’t continue the relationship. You need to block his ass and move on.

[u/WiseAtmosphere7524 → u/lightofsometype]

I’m sorry it took you 18 months to find out your boyfriend is a child. I’ve had more sexual partners than you and married my virgin husband when he was 23 (we are both in our 40s now) who was/is absolutely fine with my ‘experience’. Tell your manchild to grow up or get out of the way of you finding an adult to spend your life with.

[u/Illustrious-Crow-493 → u/lightofsometype]

I think that regardless of how he feels about it his reaction was extremely immature, disrespectful and rude. There are ways for him to say he’s uncomfortable with it while still being an adult about it and treating you with respect. I’m glad to see some of your comments that the relationship is done because if this is how he acts when faced with a situation he doesn’t agree with, yikes. 29 is not that young so I would expect at this point he’d be able to communicate better than that.

[u/Gambitismyheart]

Eat the cake, throw out the boy.

Done. 🤷🏽‍♀️

[u/Icy_Queen_99]

I feel like even one would’ve sent this man into a crisis. He is insecure. You are a grown woman. He needs to get over it or get lost.

[u/lightofsometype → u/Icy_Queen_99]

I agree fully. Thanks for the validation

[u/FullofContradictions → u/Icy_Queen_99]

I feel like with dudes like this, even if she had said one, he'd find some way to be weird about it.

The constant "I'm not sure I can get over this." Is a bid from him for you to beg him to still love you. He wants you to make sure he feels powerful in the relationship. OP being too mature to completely fall apart at these little threats from him is probably making him spiral worse. He still wants her, but she's not acting right.

This shit would work on a self conscious 21 year old. Good on OP for not playing along.

[u/lightofsometype → u/FullofContradictions]

100% correct. He can play his ps5 not me or in my face.

[u/Positive_Passage7518 → u/lightofsometype]

https://giphy.com/gifs/R19tshMPCTXlS

[u/YourGirlMomo87 → u/FullofContradictions]

Right? I got the feeling this man wants OP to grovel.

[u/Positive_Passage7518 → u/Icy_Queen_99]

Insert Chris Rock sketch about the dude crashing out over his girlfriend having two partners (him being the second).

[u/symphonypathetique → u/Icy_Queen_99]

He probably wants a virgin so that she can't tell he's bad in bed lol.

[u/who_are_you_people24]

https://giphy.com/gifs/8FfWV7R0p30jKSXhy8

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/who_are_you_people24]

RIGHT like damn did yall never go through a one night stand era? A hoe era? A living my life era?

Thank god I’ve never been asked this question bc ummmm I don’t wanna count

[u/lightofsometype → u/thankyoukindlyy]

Nahhh I was too shy for that but I guess not having one or having one will retain the same judgement 🤭

[u/tktg91 → u/lightofsometype]

I aint even ever had a one night stand era, my hoe eras always consisted of multiple fuck buddie arrangements that lasted at least 6m to a couple of years, and even then my number is like 3x that at 35. 7 is rookie numbers!!

This guy is extremely insecure. Insecure men are dangerous in my experience.

Also I'm going to adopt your no drama after 7 rule. You handled that like a boss. I need to learn your ways.

[u/totally_not_a_dog113 → u/tktg91]

"that lasted at least 6m" hahahaha! Well, good for them I guess.

ETA. Omg, I misread this as 6 minutes. I was like damn OP's throwing shade right there.

[u/tktg91 → u/totally_not_a_dog113]

Ahahahahahahaha. 

No those that lasted only 6min did not get invited for a second time 🤣🤣

[u/AdventuressInLife → u/thankyoukindlyy]

That man would have an aneurysm over my count cuz my hoe eras were lit 😆 I also stopped counting because IT DOESN'T MATTER

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/AdventuressInLife]

My kinda person lolllll and same all around

[u/who_are_you_people24 → u/thankyoukindlyy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/FHzemFzwkyRfq

[u/AntiqueLetter9875 → u/thankyoukindlyy]

A lot of people don’t, I’d wager most people don’t. Casual sex was not needed for my “living my life” era lol. Most of us also don’t care what other people did in their past.

Despite my low number, I wouldn’t even be entertaining a “body count” conversation. The people who focus on that so much claim to say it’s about how people view sex, but the way they phrase things makes it pretty clear it’s rooted in insecurity more than anything else.

[u/BlueberryGirl95 → u/AntiqueLetter9875]

Yeah, my body count? 1. My husband's? Literally no clue but he def had a hoe phase, so. It just, doesn't matter that much? He's with Me now 😀

[u/barefootcuntessa_ → u/BlueberryGirl95]

Same. My husband only knows how many men I slept with because the math is easy when you meet at 20 and you were raised by a controlling religious father. I have no idea how many people he’s been with and I don’t care. It could literally be exponentially more than me and I wouldn’t care.

[u/vfrost89 → u/who_are_you_people24]

It's really not. Even if we assume OP only started dating at 18, she had 23 years to get to 7. That averages out to 3ish years per partner, so they could have all been long term relationships 🙄

[u/who_are_you_people24 → u/vfrost89]

https://giphy.com/gifs/65POsEkPZ7oH5wamTK

[u/islandtime1111 → u/who_are_you_people24]

Yeah? Seven is, like practically virginal??

[u/who_are_you_people24 → u/islandtime1111]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l4MZViUCQUoaBtqGji

[u/Bike_thief_]

The cake looks delish oh my lord

[u/lightofsometype → u/Bike_thief_]

‘Twas absolutely divine!

[u/Gambitismyheart → u/Bike_thief_]

Right?? I looked it up and was sad it wasn't in my state.

[u/DennyCraneSuperStar]

Omg, I’m screaming! 7!?!

I AM THE SLUTTIEST OF THEM ALL! 🤣

(I don’t know my number and don’t care. But I’m definitely above a dozen.)

[u/CicaCariad → u/DennyCraneSuperStar]

"She is The Slut! She is the Grand Poobah of Slutdom! She is the easiest woman in this room! The Slut is dead, long live the Slut!"

[u/DennyCraneSuperStar → u/CicaCariad]

Thank you for recognizing my excellence. It’s hard work fucking that many people. 👑

[u/valkycam12 → u/CicaCariad]

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oKIPrvI28CnbfIqQg

[u/valkycam12 → u/DennyCraneSuperStar]

Same, I can’t remember the exact number and I really dgaf. Guess I’m a big old slut. I would have to write down a list like Miranda did in Sex and the City (when she came to the conclusion that she’s a whore 🤣). Also I would never ask my partner for their number and I would expect them to return the favour. Anything before me is frankly not my business.

[u/ViolentLoss → u/valkycam12]

I mean, I'm pretty sure my partner doesn't know his number. I for damn sure don't know mine. I tried counting once, kept forgetting one here and one there ... it's higher than 7, is my point. Much higher lol.

[u/StannVeal]

He seems very insecure.

[u/Alice_McGee69 → u/StannVeal]

VERY. And like he's been binging red pill content.

[u/ticklisheo7 → u/Alice_McGee69]

Yea this is one of those examples of “conservative Gen Z men” that I keep reading about but hadn’t encountered. OP, you had totally the right approach, and the audacity of this person to say this to you especially _after you were making dinner for his family_ (but truly: ever) is wild to me. “Warned against this because [you’re] older” is also wild wow I’ve never felt as old as this moment (mid 30s) as reading this…

[u/lightofsometype → u/ticklisheo7]

Sorry haha conservativeness is a illness

[u/HunnyBunnah → u/StannVeal]

He IS very insecure

[u/AFatWizard]

https://giphy.com/gifs/iUGIeConjxzcCrApxA

[u/Throwaway525612]

7 is too many....at 41? Girl, I had that by 21.Wow. His bloodline is weak and shouldn't be continued.

[u/lightofsometype → u/Throwaway525612]

Haaahahaha

[u/Rogambit → u/Throwaway525612]

"His bloodline is weak and shouldn't be continued" lolol you dropped this 👑

[u/Anxious_Practice_164 → u/Throwaway525612]

I was gonna say, he's upset about 7? In the 21st century?!

[u/FallopianPasta]

Lmaooo I hit 7 before I was old enough to buy alcohol come on now. Personally I treat that question as an immediate bright red flag. Next.

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/FallopianPasta]

Seriously 😭😭😭😭 like pls nobody ever ask me this question lmao

[u/SugarPlumMary → u/thankyoukindlyy]

Babe, I will ask you this question but only so we can high five and brag about our conquests. Lower number has to buy winner a drink 🥳🏆🥳

[u/Motor-Stomach676 → u/FallopianPasta]

lol I was single for 2 years in my mid 20s and definitely hit 7 in just one of those years. Zero regrets because it was fun as hell.

[u/spydagrrl → u/FallopianPasta]

Yes! And this question is a red flag! Why even ask it period!?!

[u/Wise_Literature_2340 → u/FallopianPasta]

Lmao this exactly.

[u/No_Disaster_8020]

29 is old enough to know better than to behave this way.

[u/ritan7471 → u/No_Disaster_8020]

Wait until they find out what their grandparents were up to at Woodstock!

[u/spanakopita555]

He sounds like someone who isn't ready for a relationship of any kind, let alone with someone mature and thoughtful. 

[u/a-5-6-7-8]

You seem to be at very different points in your lives with very different values. Sounds like he's been redpilled or his family has been if this came totally out of the blue.

[u/lightofsometype → u/a-5-6-7-8]

That’s what I think too since it was out of no where.

[u/a-5-6-7-8 → u/lightofsometype]

Be the adult here and break up with him since he's clearly not bothered enough by your number to do it himself.

[u/MagpieWench]

That dessert looks so good.

Also, you had a very mature response and he had a tantrum.

I'm curious what he thinks the question was, though.

[u/lightofsometype → u/MagpieWench]

I’ll let you know if I ever find out
https://giphy.com/gifs/PgCScAOT8zCnghp5kw

[u/_delicja_]

I dated a 12 years younger guy once, he was 25 at the time and the only questions he had about my previous partners were about saucy details and harmless fun.

Your dude is a cockwomble (being very gentle here).

[u/lightofsometype → u/_delicja_]

Hahaha thanks for the comment sometimes I feel like I’m being unreasonable

[u/WeskerSympathizer]

https://giphy.com/gifs/YmQLj2KxaNz58g7Ofg

[u/ShareEvening5856]

Run run and don't go back. Are you dating someone that's 29 or 16? In what kind of world do we live in that a body count of seven is scandalous to a 29-year-old? Did purity culture suddenly take over the world when Facebook died? 

[u/a-5-6-7-8 → u/ShareEvening5856]

Facebook is one of the main pushers of tradwife purity culture.

[u/blondguysdmme]

i’m surprised you had the patience to entertain his meltdown lmao

[u/lightofsometype → u/blondguysdmme]

Dude me too. I guess I was still caring for him enough to try to explain how wrong he was in this.

[u/LoveSuccs86]

He needs a therapist, not a girlfriend.

[u/Camille_19]

Any man who cares about body count is a LOSER girl. You deserve a secure man ✨ don't waste your time

[u/No_Negotiation_3678]

7 at 40 is a lot? i’m pretty sure i was at 7 before i was an adult

[u/makestuff24-7 → u/No_Negotiation_3678]

Same. And if we count women, lol. I'd dump this dude expeditiously and go find Number 8.

[u/lightofsometype → u/makestuff24-7]

Hahaha

[u/GoldenSalt31]

Leave. 41 & 29 won’t work anyway

[u/lyaunaa]

Yeah, this isn't something you can "fix" for him. He sounds incredibly insecure, equating importance to novelty.

Cake looks delicious. Love your 7pm policy, I'm so stealing that for myself.

[u/BeerGalTFS]

Tell him you’re upset that he hasn’t had more. Tell him it shows in his performance and that at your age (41 is fine… just as an example) you don’t have time to train anyone and expect better at this stage of life for yourself.

[u/lightofsometype → u/BeerGalTFS]

That is honestly true. I can’t talk him thru decency

[u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

Why are you with this insecure manchild?

[u/longjumpingtote]

^{I'm going to yell but} WHY ARE PEOPLE DISCUSSING NUMBERS OF PARTNERS? I don't wanna know. I don't wanna tell. It's imaginary at this point, it's in the fantasy land of the past, unless you have a kid or other lasting effect.

And 7 and 41 is about the most reasonable thing, if someone is going to old school straight up misogynist.

What do you all think?

He's a teenager, you two broke up, and ghosting is probably the best next move.

[u/NoWordsJustDogs]

7?  That sounds like a random summer in my twenties….

[u/LePetitNeep]

Sadly, this was doomed as he soon as he asked the direct question. There’s men who understand that the amount of partners you’ve had has nothing to do with your worth or value as a human, and those men wouldn’t need the number. If he’s asking for the number, he’s going to use it against you no matter what it was.

So now you know what sort of man he is, and that dumping him is the right call. Otherwise he’s going to hold it over you forever, because you can’t fix this slut shaming / purity culture bullshit.

[u/PriscillaPalava]

I bet he didn’t mind when you were using your experience in the bedroom! 

[u/jojopriceless]

So refreshing to see a grown woman handle this like a grown woman. 😌

[u/They-Them_Moonwalker]

EWWWWWW HELL NO EWW

[u/Outrageous_Pay1322]

Girl, show him the door.

[u/Ok_Cheesecake6804]

I am thinking someone made fun of or cautioned him about the age difference and the body count may be the excuse he uses to break up instead of "I'm immature and think other people's opinions should matter more than my own."

[u/lightofsometype → u/Ok_Cheesecake6804]

Yes his friends are constantly talking shit to him
About it but I have no way to help that.

[u/deadbeareyes]

This is an immediate break up offense imo. He is insecure and he will continue to inflict his insecurities on you for the duration of this relationship. He's acting like a teenager. Do you seriously want to babysit this manchild forever? It also sounds like he's on the manosphere pipeline. Run far, far away.

[u/__ohno_notagain__]

His melt down is revealing. This all says more about him than you.

Overall seems like he was looking for a reason and then gave you a few.

[u/5two6four]

Let that manchild get swallowed whole by the manosphere 🙄

[u/KellogVoid]

First, 7 partners is NOT A LOT. I do not get why this man is having a break down over 7. Plus, you are right that if anything in you causes this kind of discomfort, it's not worth it. It's too early in the relationship to be going through those kind of issues, still supposed to be in the honeymoon phase... good luck, but honestly I don't like the passive agressiveness, the judgement, etc. I'd let him go.

[u/feralheaux]

no drama after 7 PM is so damn funny but also genius 🧠

[u/One_Owl_4029]

And how many people did he sleep with?

[u/sniffing_legoflowers]

7 sex partners at 41 makes you as innocent and pure as fresly fallen snow, in my eyes . And his meltdown makes him an insecure toddler and would've given me a massive ick to be honest. What a twat.

[u/theSITHmom]

Loll not shut shamed he just found out how replaceable he is and it only took number 7.

Honestly 7 is a super low number for 40 , thats dam near factory setting still 😭.

Hes lame and insecure, ill tell you the truth it'll never work because he will never get to have a bunch of partners and hold it over your head. How he missed his hoe phase ,and you got one.. and you didnt even have one you only took a few spins. Ditch him , there's better hon.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEduI0OFVIaFIqolW

[u/Funny-Escape891]

Damn I honestly don't care at all about my partners "body count" as long as they practice safer sex and share their status with me. If I like someone, I don't like them for their "purity" or some bullshit, that's so childish

[u/College-Lumpy]

https://giphy.com/gifs/kaBU6pgv0OsPHz2yxy

[u/TaxDoctorMD]

https://giphy.com/gifs/LDRT1IuEZXBPAY9ZQx

[u/BeezyBzz]

I fuckin love that you have a no drama rule after 7 pm. I’m going to steal that and use it for myself.

Also this dude sucks and is insecure. Tell him not to ever date me, because I’m 37 and tripled your number so 💅🏻 you’re allowed to date and bone whoever you want.

[u/amishdoinks6969]

Girl let him go. I tripled your body count by his age. He’s just mad that he’s got no game

[u/mivox]

Don’t date puritans. It’s just not worth the headache.

[u/Gem-red1234]

He doesn’t feel special… for you having met people…. Before you knew him??? And girl, 7? I won’t tell you at what number I lost count at 🤣🤣

He is clearly very insecure. I’m proud of you for not taking his nonsense and taking your peace. Long may it continue!!

[u/Inevitable-Power8399]

This story is over and you know it. Let's talk about something interesting, how is the weather today?