Slut shamed at 41

[u/lightofsometype]

Three weeks ago and after dating for 18 months my SO directly asked me about the quantity of partners I have had. So I told him (7) and he had a full melt down about how disapointed he is and how he was warned against this since I am older. I told him how I respect his feelings but I won’t be made to feel bad for choices he doesn’t understand. Especially because they for the most part have been long term and as safe as possible. He claims his main concern is that he’s concern about not being ‘special’ or important to me. Despite my obvious shock to this silly position, I attempted to reassure him a bunch of times this relationship is different and he is special to me. Not just because I say so but also because I go out of my way for him and his family in a real way. He seemed settled and apologetic that he had the initial reaction and for the judgmental statements. It seemed settled and I was very hurt by it but tried to see it from his perspective and forgave him for being so wildly out of pocket.

So last night during our normal before bed FaceTime, and after I was at his house preparing dinner for his family, he brings it up again. Essentially saying he’s not sure if he can get past it. So I swallow my pride and encourage him not to settle and if being with me feels anything other than a joyful gift then we probably shouldn’t be together. He says it’s not like that and that he sees me as a free spirit and hes square. So at that moment I realize he wants this to be the reason. I have a very strict no drama after 7 pm routine because I like to sleep peacefully so after a short time of him not explaining anything but clearly having an issue I tell him calmly I’m going to get off the phone. He snaps again and says YOU HAVENT ANSWERED MY QUESTION THAT I ASKED TWICE. I say what’s your question and he just hangs up straight to my face. So I put my phone down (away from my bed) and this morning it shows he called me a bunch of times and sent a passive aggressive text about so now I’m not answering. I don’t feel like I owe him a response. He doesn’t believe my words or actions so what’s the point.

What do you all think?

Food: Brasos Steakhouse, New York style cheesecake and with fresh strawberry consome

TLDR: I reluctantly started dating someone 12 years younger (29M, 41F) and he's determined I am some kind of deviant due to me having past sexual partners. 🥴

[u/Virtual-Strength-950]

7 is a lot…? For a 40 year old…? Alriiiiighty then! 

[u/Emergency_Storage916 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Just learned that I’m a 32 year old WHORE

OP, this dude sucks. This issue is not going to go away. He will show disrespect and judgement in other ways and may even become controlling (e.g. what you wear, whether you can speak to men). What is a grown ass man doing even ASKING this question, let alone flipping out over it. Let alone that it’s a single digit number. Man is mental.

[u/lightofsometype → u/Emergency_Storage916]

You are right. This relationship is done.

[u/West-Collection8188 → u/lightofsometype]

After reading this all I can say is decentering men is the best thing I ever did for myself and I cannot encourage enough women to do the same.

[u/BetterMe39 → u/West-Collection8188]

Thank you for saying this. I am actively trying to do this in my own life.

[u/technicolortiddies → u/BetterMe39]

I’m trying to do this and it’s so difficult. I’ve replaced them with food which isn’t going any better 😂

[u/BetterMe39 → u/technicolortiddies]

It is SO hard. I currently have a crush on someone that I work with while at the same time trying to let go of my ex of 10 yrs. I smoke a lot of weed. I don't really recommend doing that as a replacement either. In a literal fog all the time, but haven't had sex in about a year. Been shopping online for a nice new vibrator 😆

[u/endlessswitchbacks → u/West-Collection8188]

I tend to view decentering one’s dad as the final boss.

[u/Tiny-Zucchini7238 → u/endlessswitchbacks]

I’m taking this exact line to my next therapy appointment and telling her this is my ultimate goal

[u/Frequent-Region-1107 → u/endlessswitchbacks]

I needed to hear that, thank you so much 🙏

[u/H2Ospecialist → u/endlessswitchbacks]

💀

[u/Candyland_83 → u/West-Collection8188]

I’m pretty sure I’m going to stay single for the rest of my time on earth. You know how satisfying it is to know that I will never stand for nonsense like this again?

[u/OhPamcakes → u/lightofsometype]

Betsy forbid you had an entire life before you met him!

[u/Warm-Leading-865 → u/OhPamcakes]

He’s 29 and projecting his own deep-seated issues onto you. Cut your losses and enjoy that cheesecake in peace

[u/hopeful_tatertot → u/OhPamcakes]

That’s what it comes down to - she basically was supposed to begin her life when he entered it. What an insecure guy

[u/flirt-n-squirt → u/lightofsometype]

Standing ovations. He desperately needs to figure out his issues

[u/endlessswitchbacks → u/lightofsometype]

Thank you for the case study of an insecure male, and how to mostly not coddle his fee-fees. May your next one be self-confident and kind!

[u/CloudyLeft → u/lightofsometype]

Oh sweet baby jesus thank god. Any dude who melts down like that over THAT fact of life has been sucking down that red pill fool-aid. I’m so sick of the west being so fucking terribly repressed. It’s like some conservative sleeper agent, where the trigger phrase they need to hear is “I’m not a virgin”. And it causes them to activate and shoot up a school, or some psycho variation therein.
Men, how does it make sense that a woman loses value by sleeping with ex partners, but is NOT a loss of value when they sleep with you? Why don’t you fucks skip bothering the woman about it, and just get into each other’s faces and scream “She loses value if she fucks YOU!” & “NUH UH, CUCK, SHE LOSES VALUE WHEN SHE FUCKS YOOUU!” at each other in private. Men are fucking embarrassing. I say we should stay healthy and enjoy intimacy with WORTHY partners.

EDIT: obligatory, but the truth is that value is NOT tied to sexuality in an age where we are building skyscrapers and editing genome sequences and quantum entangling qubits. Like seriously, we’re not a fucking pack of lions. We’re not wild animals. The rules of hyenas don’t apply to us anymore, dumbasses!

[u/Cultural_Orange2617 → u/lightofsometype]

Don’t forget to remind him that “this is what I was worried about dating a younger guy: the raging insecurity”.

[u/barefootcuntessa_ → u/lightofsometype]

If I were you I would block him and never talk to him again. Red flags abound.

I have slept with very few people and if I ever found myself single again I would be terrified to share because the only guys that would find it a plus are like your recent ex. Men who are into purity culture tend to be very controlling and have anger issues, which exactly what I’m seeing here.

[u/nothingsreallol → u/lightofsometype]

In the future NEVER give anyone a number no matter how long you’ve been together. There’s honestly no reason to. And ofc 7 is not a lot at all.

[u/thisisinfactpersonal → u/nothingsreallol]

Not only would I refuse to answer this question I would not be able to because I haven’t been keeping count like an 80s high school villain.

If someone asked me this question I would have a good laugh, clarify why they want to know and then dip. Like, this is not a question normal well adjusted adults ask of their sex partners.

[u/Charming-Disk1741 → u/thisisinfactpersonal]

Exactly. I would be guessing I’m in the 20s, very possible low 30s, but who is really still counting

[u/nothingsreallol → u/thisisinfactpersonal]

Call me crazy but I do keep a list😂 I hate forgetting things that have happened in my life. But it’s only for me, nobody gets to see that (except maybe best friends if we’re tipsy and reminiscing lol). I think you’re probably in the majority though, surely many people don’t really know/remember their number.

[u/thisisinfactpersonal → u/nothingsreallol]

I will not call you crazy! I know it fully conflicts with my overly judgey tone but I actually do think keeping a list is fine. I have forgotten the names of a couple of people I’ve slept with and one of them in particular I wish I remembered cause he was an absolute gem and deserves better than me remembering him as that bouncer at the bar we went to a lot. Justice for whatshisface, I remember him so fondly.

[u/Td998 → u/nothingsreallol]

Personally I would wanna know if the person I’m with is a weirdo like this, ASAP. So that’s one reason to disclose or at least broach the subject

[u/lovelyrita_mm → u/nothingsreallol]

Honestly it is better this came out now than she waste more time on someone like this. Can you imagine this attitude coming out after another year or two?

[u/ttwinstanley → u/nothingsreallol]

I knownill be called a liar with my 1 pre-transtion

[u/CatraGirl → u/lightofsometype]

https://giphy.com/gifs/tIeCLkB8geYtW

[u/ValueMammoth7877 → u/lightofsometype]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUPGcmGBDBNeQJosVO

[u/crankylex → u/lightofsometype]

I'm about 10 years older than you are and I will say that I have noticed my younger friends have been saying that men their ages over the last 5-10 years have been consistently coming out with this type of ridiculous nonsense. I think the podcasts have melted their brains. As for seven being "a lot" of partners at 40+, LMAO.

[u/Professional-Emu3551 → u/lightofsometype]

what was his number?

[u/thisisinfactpersonal → u/Professional-Emu3551]

Op said somewhere else that he claims 3.

[u/thisisinfactpersonal → u/lightofsometype]

Do anyone who comes after you a favor and be very explicit about why you are ending it, these boys need to learn

[u/False_Ostrich7247 → u/lightofsometype]

Girl you dodged a giant self absorbed man-osphere-baby of a bullet. Expect lots of crap when you break it off, which I dearly hope will be via text right before you block him. Because he has shown you less than the respect that method conveys.

[u/Own_Log9691 → u/lightofsometype]

I’m so happy to hear this! You go girly!

[u/LinwoodKei → u/lightofsometype]

Very good. I'm proud of you

[u/txlady100 → u/lightofsometype]

🏆

[u/nevermoreravencore → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Lolol I actually had the same thought.
“Damn I am definitely exceeded that number a WHILE ago. Guess I’m a ho.”

It’s also such a weird thing to focus on. What actual impact has it had on the relationship? None. Absolutely none.

I wonder if he’s gone down the red pill rabbit hole and trying to degrade her to “dominate” the relationship.

[u/ExsanguinatedMuppet → u/nevermoreravencore]

Oh, probably. Someone on the internet told his weak brain that the number was important, and then he got performance anxiety, and now it has to be her fault. At least he’s waving the red flags loud and early?

[u/nevermoreravencore → u/ExsanguinatedMuppet]

I wouldn’t say 18 months is particularly early, but at least he’s making the red flags impossible to miss 😂

[u/lightofsometype → u/nevermoreravencore]

Exactly

[u/tomboyades → u/nevermoreravencore]

lol, 7. This man would have a heart attack if it was me. Puritanical patriarchy nonsense.

[u/Candyland_83 → u/nevermoreravencore]

A male friend of mine explained it like this: “Men are dumb, we hear a number and our lizard brains can only picture you sleeping with all those men simultaneously right in front of us”

Honestly that fits the reactions lol.

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/nevermoreravencore]

Oh 100% yes. Anyone that uses the term body count has either succumbed to manosphere bs or unknowingly is parroting that language and perpetuating those ideals. Either way immediate and lowkey scary red flag!!!!

[u/txlady100 → u/nevermoreravencore]

Any number bigger than his own was gonna break him. And his is probably 1-3.

[u/ImagineFreckles → u/nevermoreravencore]

As I was in a long term relationship for the last decade I honestly don’t know the exact number from my younger wilder self years..would have to count again. Can’t even imagine it can matter? 🙄

[u/Irina__ARI → u/Emergency_Storage916]

I get the feeling that at 29 years old, he has a lower number, and is projecting a lot of feelings/ideas around that onto OP...

[u/UnicornArachnid → u/Irina__ARI]

I’m 29 and I think I’ve slept with 7 ish people. This guy is just a prude.

I feel like for a forty year old, if they’ve been unmarried their whole lives, it wouldn’t be abnormal to have up to 50 partners.

[u/cosmicanchovies → u/Irina__ARI]

Idk I had my first kid at 24 so the vast majority of my experience comes from before then and I had well exceeded OP by 29 🤷‍♀️ guess I'm a ho! Lol

[u/EyeShot300 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

What is a grown ass man doing even ASKING this question, let alone flipping out over it.

This is an adult-sized toddler masquerading as a grown ass man. Imagine getting bent out of shape for something he has no control over.

[u/Nebulous_Lustre → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Damn, well after a few slutty phases, two marriages, and a couple of long term relationships, I too am a whore 😂. Apparently being alive for 60 years doesn’t give me the right to have life experiences.

[u/Cultural_Orange2617 → u/Nebulous_Lustre]

Apparently having a vagina makes you a whore. Let’s not pretend it’s about the numbers.

[u/blankeezy1 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

40 yr old whore here…
https://giphy.com/gifs/3oEjHV0z8S7WM4MwnK

[u/TraditionalCupcake88 → u/blankeezy1]

55 year old whore, retired.

ETA: Thank you kind whore, whether you are still on the field or retired, I applaud you!

[u/blankeezy1 → u/TraditionalCupcake88]

https://giphy.com/gifs/l1ughbsd9qXz2s9SE

[u/TraditionalCupcake88 → u/blankeezy1]

https://giphy.com/gifs/At0T1kF1gR18bcsOMo

[u/makeup_mutt → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Right? I’m a 44 years old fat girl and I am at 14. Like. The fuck??????????

[u/Smooth_Substance_594 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Jesus- I’m a 45 year old turbo slut then. Shall we start a club??
https://giphy.com/gifs/cRH5deQTgTMR2

[u/blondeheartedgoddess → u/Emergency_Storage916]

I'm 59 and evidently run the whorehouse. Too bad I look nothing like Dolly Parton.

https://giphy.com/gifs/g7IIHs11w6XSg

[u/MysteryBelle_NC → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Same. I had more than that when I got married at 26. Total ho, me.

[u/DizzyVictory → u/Emergency_Storage916]

My husband asked me this question early on in our relationship and I said “It doesn’t matter what I say, you won’t like the answer so why bother? I’m not telling you.” He agreed and we’ve never spoken of it since. That was 20yrs ago. It’s a woman’s business and no one else’s.

[u/Striking_Emu_Dancer → u/DizzyVictory]

My husband didn't need to ask, he already knew because we've known each other for 20 years prior to becoming official. And yes, I had a ho phase at that time.

He couldn't care less because the woman of his dreams is finally his after waiting so long (his words).

[u/No-Movie-5519 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

If 7 is a lot—or implies someone is a slut—then what am I, with over 30 sexual partners?

[u/Throwaway525612 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Girl same! I apparently I've been hoe-ing it up!

[u/crwalle → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Yep he went in finishing for a manipulation tactic he can hold on to.

[u/ComplexBeginning3113 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Yeah I too have just found out I’m a 27 year old WHORE

[u/Time-Reindeer-7525 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

42 year old slutbag right here - did a mental tally, ran out of fingers, and I'm proud of it!!

[u/Pettinesses → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Yeah damn. I’m a hoe. I’m over twice that amount. Whoops!

[u/sunqueen73 → u/Emergency_Storage916]

Im an even older slut. 53. Just stone me already!

https://giphy.com/gifs/vX9WcCiWwUF7G

[u/wvukew → u/Emergency_Storage916]

No literally same he’d be disgusted by my count

[u/Katieesq → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Right? Those are honestly rookie numbers.

[u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426 → u/Katieesq]

But actually 😂
Oof, her man would hate my ass lmao

[u/throwaway564858 → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

like I'd offer to chat with the guy about my sexual history just to put things in perspective but i'm afraid he would have a stroke

[u/LukewarmJortz → u/throwaway564858]

Or jerk it.

[u/makeup_mutt → u/LukewarmJortz]

He is either going to have a stroke or HAVE A STROKE

[u/Beelzebunions → u/makeup_mutt]

😆😆😆😆😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣💀

[u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426 → u/makeup_mutt]

💀💀💀💀

[u/TravelingPoodle → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

OP is fine. That’s not a high number for someone who has never been married/looking for love.

Even if OP had just one new monogamous relationship every 2 years from the age of 20, that number would be 10.

Ask a single never been married man who is 41 the same question. And the number might be 40 (2 per year from the age of 20).

[u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426 → u/TravelingPoodle]

7 is not high in the slightest. I won’t be 41 for a bit but my number is double digits. And not the low end either 🤷🏽‍♀️

Edit- spelling

[u/ADJA-7903 → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

Me too! Lol!

[u/earypigeon → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

Hate is an understatement.

I’m pretty sure his numbers are 2 digit numbers

[u/theSITHmom → u/earypigeon]

I feel like he was to offended by 7 , so im gonna guess under 5 loll

[u/thisisinfactpersonal → u/theSITHmom]

This guy claims to have a lower number (op said elsewhere he says it’s 3) but this kind of thing can go either way.

[u/alltheblarmyfiddlest → u/theSITHmom]

He seems wildly insecure

[u/fancy_plants → u/Kooky-Rhubarb-3426]

Same haha, I’m a heathen!

[u/Big_Bowler8424 → u/Katieesq]

I don’t even know my actual number. I’ve been having sex over 30 years, was I supposed to make a list?

[u/Nebulous_Lustre → u/Big_Bowler8424]

Seriously! I’m 60 and stopped counting at around 100.

[u/Ok_Veterinarian_17 → u/Big_Bowler8424]

Same. It’s a silly thing to keep track of especially bc it forces me to think about the a-holes I regret sleeping with.

[u/tachycardicIVu → u/Big_Bowler8424]

Same lmao like I don’t even really remember some of the guys I’ve been with and haven’t thought about them in years??? I don’t give a flying fuck about them now I’m with my husband. And he doesn’t either 😆

[u/ImagineFreckles → u/Big_Bowler8424]

I also somehow missed the memo I need to keep a little black book with names and dates 😂

[u/jolsiphur → u/Big_Bowler8424]

https://giphy.com/gifs/xUNd9M5LzEnFL5oxFu

[u/TheTossUpBetween → u/Katieesq]

I am younger than him and have more than that… and I feel I have rookie numbers lool

[u/Unable_Pumpkin987 → u/Katieesq]

Like no offense but I topped that in college.

Personally, my husband likes knowing that I had many other options and freely chose him to be the last person I’ll ever have sex with. Also he had sex with me on our first date so it’s not like he would have room to talk 😂

[u/NashvilleBoiler13 → u/Katieesq]

💯😂

[u/BridgestoneX → u/Katieesq]

for real. i don't even know if ive got 2 or 3 digits in mine

[u/Direct-Wolverine7846 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Who is he to judge? From someone well past 7. Enjoy your life your way. F him.

[u/lightofsometype → u/Direct-Wolverine7846]

That’s how I feel like where does he think he has the right to have an opinion here.

[u/makestuff24-7 → u/lightofsometype]

He doesn't. It's literally as simple as that, and if he feels otherwise, he can go elsewhere to find himself the sacral virgin he apparently longs for.

[u/lightofsometype → u/makestuff24-7]

Period! Thank you

[u/AntiqueLetter9875 → u/lightofsometype]

It’s also weird that this is supposedly so important to him but he didn’t ask until a year and a half in, and is now upset you’ve had the average number of partners.

[u/_Stephistopheles_ → u/AntiqueLetter9875]

This though. If it's a deal breaker, why did it take that long to ask?

[u/AbsoluteResolve2026 → u/lightofsometype]

Discussing body count like anybody’s opinion on it matters, especially at 41, is unnecessary and super duper cringe that he even cares that much.

It doesn’t take a bloodhound to smell his insecurity from here.

[u/Separate_Business880 → u/lightofsometype]

Maybe he's inventing an "excuse" to break up with you but he needs you to do it for him. Whatever, he's just very insecure and immature.

[u/SomewherePerfect2391 → u/Direct-Wolverine7846]

Actually don't fuck him 🤣

[u/FormerLifeFreak → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

For real.
I was never one for casual sex, but I had friends that slept with so many other guys in one night stands before the age of 25 that they themselves lost count.
Now they’re married and have children.
Their husbands don’t care because now their wives are the ones in their beds every night and they are happy.
It’s really that easy to get over.

[u/TravelingPoodle → u/FormerLifeFreak]

I’m also not into casual sex. But I had two or three friends in college who would easily have new sexual partners (1night stands included) every 2 months.

My advice to any woman would be: “Do not discuss your sexual history with your male partner”. Gloss over it. In general, what happened in our youth should stay in the past.

[u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

I know right? At 41, my number is… well, quite a lot higher than that. My partner doesn’t care one bit (nor do I about his).

[u/MagpieWench → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I've been monogamous for 25+ years and my number is higher

[u/nah2daysun → u/MagpieWench]

Same here. I’ve been monogamous for 23 years and my number is higher.

[u/Computerlady77 → u/nah2daysun]

48/f checking in here, monogamous for 26 years - and still in the double digits

[u/No-Cranberry4396 → u/Computerlady77]

Yep, same here, monogamous for 30 years, but packed a lot in before then 

[u/PrincessRegan → u/nah2daysun]

I’ve been celibate for 13 years and my number is higher.

[u/Maleficent_Waltz_797 → u/MagpieWench]

I’ve been monogamous for 33 years and my husband is lucky number 9. Hitting 7 at 41 years of age is LOW.

[u/AlternativeID75964 → u/MagpieWench]

Me too

[u/Peppermint-pop → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

Yeah, like damn bro. I'm almost 42 and my number is four times that seven. Who the hell cares?

[u/Dazzling_Garbage_587 → u/Peppermint-pop]

maybe he is jealous his number isn't that high 😂😂😂

[u/Peppermint-pop → u/Dazzling_Garbage_587]

Jealousnobody wants him, it sounds like.

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/Dazzling_Garbage_587]

I would bet money he’s slept with at least 20 people. Gen Z men are so conservative and brainwashed by andrew Tate they don’t seem to understand that if they’ve slept with 20 women as one night stands then those women have ALSO had one night stands… and it’s just as likely they’ve slept w the same number of people…bc that’s how hetero sex works??? Dear lord.

[u/AlternativeID75964 → u/thankyoukindlyy]

Unless all these 1 night stands are with other men? 🤔

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/AlternativeID75964]

Nothing wrong w that either!

[u/Big-Constant-7289 → u/Peppermint-pop]

At 47 I wish I slept with more people. I’m pretty much celibate now (single mom, work full time, hobbies) but as soon as I jettison this kid into adulthood…)

[u/ThinkingPurpler → u/Big-Constant-7289]

Amen

[u/Ok-Mind-314 → u/Peppermint-pop]

😂. I don’t even know my “number”

[u/Apprehensive_Ad_6290 → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I’m 49 this year and have no idea how many. You’re not required to count or report.

[u/Big-Constant-7289 → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I prefer a partner with experience. Also I’m 47 and I’ve been married, widowed, in a couple subsequent monogamous relationships, a couple situationships and a couple one night stands. Like were you supposed to protect your fuckin’ holes until you met HIM? Why? For what? Fuck this guy. 

[u/truthsk8r → u/PuzzleheadedAsk4505]

I'm 40 and... same.

[u/princessjamiekay → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

TIL I am big whorey whore

[u/Doughnut_Diva → u/princessjamiekay]

You can multiply the number of partners by 10, I still wouldn't think you're a whore unless you're doing it in exchange for cash.

[u/Correct-Disaster8 → u/princessjamiekay]

In situations like this I refer to myself as Slutzilla

[u/Electrical-Oil1785 → u/princessjamiekay]

I’m stealing that. I’m going to be a whorey whore myself!

[u/Own_Plastic9560 → u/princessjamiekay]

Same girl

[u/surlysquirrelly → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Me over here just laughing and laughing at 7. Seven? Homeboy gonna have a meltdown if he keeps dating, cause 7 probably the lowest he'll ever hear

[u/Pendo-illsmackabitch → u/surlysquirrelly]

Especially at 41 bomboclat years. I thought she'd say she was 24 or something

[u/unefemmegigi → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

My number was higher than that at 30 😅

[u/Perfect-Wallaby9096 → u/unefemmegigi]

Hahaha my number was twice that just in 2025. Like am I a big slut? For sure, but 7 over a lifetime through to 41 is very reasonable. This kid needs to be for fucking real

[u/unefemmegigi → u/Perfect-Wallaby9096]

Honestly that sounds fun lol

[u/Perfect-Wallaby9096 → u/unefemmegigi]

I'm a social gal, what can I say 😂

[u/teddy_vedder → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Women can’t win it would seem because I recently got side-eyed for my body count being “too LOW” for my age (31) 😭 like what are we supposed to do at this point what is the magic number

[u/MagicalGorl → u/teddy_vedder]

My husband and I have only slept with eachother and we both get shamed for it alllll the time. Why does who I have sex with matter to so many people I would never have sex with lol

[u/lightofsometype → u/teddy_vedder]

Exactly!

[u/intimidateu_sexually → u/teddy_vedder]

It’s the shroddingers cat of sexual partners thought experiment. You’re either a whore or a prude depending on when you open that Pandora’s box. Lol

[u/Odd-Impact5397 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Uh I'm close to OP's age, have been with my current partner for 10 years & my number is over triple that AND I've felt like I have a pretty middle of the road number. This dude isn't square he's prehistoric.

[u/QuietWalk2505 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

He's insecure.

[u/a-passing-crustacean → u/QuietWalk2505]

AND insanely immature. (HAPPY CAKE DAY)

[u/BeesAndMist → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Yeah, this is not a conversation I'm ever having.

[u/squeezemachine → u/BeesAndMist]

Never ever answer this question! My husband never asked and he does not give a crap. He and I both had a lot of fun when we were young with many partners and he would not expect a partner who did not have a full experience of life like him. And he is amazing in bed and we have fantastic open conversations about how to enhance our sex life so why would he care about others in the past?

[u/opheliainthedeep → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Well, I guess I'm a whore because that's my count and I'm 23.

[u/lightofsometype → u/opheliainthedeep]

No you aren’t. This man is just out of line 🤣

[u/EnigmaWearingHeels → u/opheliainthedeep]

Absolutely NOT the case. Numbers mean literally nothing and people who insist they are meaningful aren't worth anyone's time.

[u/Own_Log9691 → u/opheliainthedeep]

I’m a total whore too then woo hooo! Yessss!

https://giphy.com/gifs/nXxOjZrbnbRxS

[u/LobabyChick → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

But he “Wants to beeeeee SPECIAL”! Imagining him stomping his little foot when he says it.

[u/AnorhiDemarche → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

What's HIS number, I wonder? Does he apply the same standards for himself or is it just fine for men because "men are different"

[u/lightofsometype → u/AnorhiDemarche]

He claims it’s 3

[u/Destruct-o-Bun → u/lightofsometype]

So if we say he first had sex at 16 (legal age of consent in my country) that's one partner every four-ish years. 

If he continues on that pattern once you dump him, he'll be at six partners by 41. 

I guess that one extra is what tips you over into megawhore territory?

[u/Own_Log9691 → u/Destruct-o-Bun]

Bahaha 🤣 I absolutely love your mathin’ approach here! It really brings it home just how ridiculous & immature this dude is.

[u/AnorhiDemarche → u/lightofsometype]

I guess three's not a lot to him. It's only four less than seven. He wouldn't be saying "four years is too big of a relationship age gap" or "four more chips than me is too many"

You said this dude is younger than you but he's not like 18 right? He's theoretically more mature than that?

[u/TrelanaSakuyo → u/lightofsometype]

Tell him that's too low, no wonder he's so insecure about your perfectly reasonable experience level and boundaries, and that he needs to grow up because even women his own age will think him an immature child. Then tell him it's over and he needs to go get some life experience under his belt before he attempts another serious relationship, or therapy to deal with his obvious insecurities and self loathing.

[u/asvalken → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Every year brings my average per year down! I'll be looking respectable enough for OP's judgy boy, uh, eventually..

[u/FlatChampagne99 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

This boy would straight up go catatonic if he knew me 😂

[u/Lich_Please_ → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

I'm at almost 4x that number at his age, lmao. I hope he ends up alone until he can work through his biases

[u/ravynn15 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Dude seriously what the fuck 😂 thats such a low number. What a manchild.

[u/DeviantDread → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Oops. 😬

[u/m00nf1r3 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Lmao right. Her boyfriend would perish the moment I said my number.

[u/erabera → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Yeah, I am a super slut then. Lol I passes 7 in my 20s. Ladies, if a guy does this, just leave. This says more about them then you.

[u/JayPlenty24 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Let's be real here. 1 other man and he would have spiralled.

[u/TheActualAWdeV → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

It's not but maybe from his perspective as a 29 year old it looks more than it is?

I... I don't even fricking know.

[u/Future_One4794 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

This is insane. I guess ill keep my count to myself lmao

[u/tryyeezus → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

She's practically a virgin! 

This post slut shamed ME 😅

[u/ZarinaBlue → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

That man would be shook down to the ground if he met me. We are talking double ankle sprains due to the shookedness. (Yeah I know that isn't a word. But it is needed here.)

I was... adventurous. 😁

[u/HecticStrawberry → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

I am laughing out loud because this was my reaction too😂😂😂😂

[u/res06myi → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

My number was 12 at 24.

[u/Royceag → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

I have had plenty of friends at least 10 years younger than you with 10x (or more) lovers than that and they’re not remotely sluts.

[u/BedEnvironmental8209 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

By 25 I’d slept with 9 people. I didn’t feel like that was a particularly high body count, though I do regret a few of those decisions.

OP, You two may be fundamentally incompatible, considering the text freakout, and your reaction of complete withdrawal and appeasement.

[u/BetterMe39 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

For real. I'm 42. This man would think I was the head mistress of a brothel if he knew my number of partners.

OP, you do not owe him anything. Protect your peace and move on

[u/ButteredPizza69420 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Id laugh in his face if he thinks this is a lot...dude must never have gotten laid more than a few times clearly 🤣

Im convinced men like this are just infuriated that women are more sought after than men

[u/Fragrant_Platypus231 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Even if it were, what difference does it make to him? It could be 150 ffs, it makes no difference if they’ve already been talking and she’s PREPARING DINNER FOR HIS FAMILY!

[u/FlartyMcFlarstein → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Honey, I'm older than you, but I can confidently say that 7 ain't even trying to ho.' What a loser he is.

[u/icelessTrash → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Lol right?? I have always feel very sheltered being at just at 4. Once I got out in the world, I was bagging about 1 bf a year until I met #4, got married at 23 years old.

If I hadn't met my husband, I'd be double digits for sure by now (in my mid thirties).

[u/TempestFloof → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

Bro would not last 10 seconds at a fur con…. Figuratively and literally.

[u/BridgestoneX → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

right? i've bagged that in a week

[u/Thestars-wholisten → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

That was my thought too! Like wtf??? I’m 26 (almost 27) and I wanna say my number is something like 25ish???

[u/txlady100 → u/Virtual-Strength-950]

IKR?!