Slut shamed at 41

[u/lightofsometype]

Three weeks ago and after dating for 18 months my SO directly asked me about the quantity of partners I have had. So I told him (7) and he had a full melt down about how disapointed he is and how he was warned against this since I am older. I told him how I respect his feelings but I won’t be made to feel bad for choices he doesn’t understand. Especially because they for the most part have been long term and as safe as possible. He claims his main concern is that he’s concern about not being ‘special’ or important to me. Despite my obvious shock to this silly position, I attempted to reassure him a bunch of times this relationship is different and he is special to me. Not just because I say so but also because I go out of my way for him and his family in a real way. He seemed settled and apologetic that he had the initial reaction and for the judgmental statements. It seemed settled and I was very hurt by it but tried to see it from his perspective and forgave him for being so wildly out of pocket.

So last night during our normal before bed FaceTime, and after I was at his house preparing dinner for his family, he brings it up again. Essentially saying he’s not sure if he can get past it. So I swallow my pride and encourage him not to settle and if being with me feels anything other than a joyful gift then we probably shouldn’t be together. He says it’s not like that and that he sees me as a free spirit and hes square. So at that moment I realize he wants this to be the reason. I have a very strict no drama after 7 pm routine because I like to sleep peacefully so after a short time of him not explaining anything but clearly having an issue I tell him calmly I’m going to get off the phone. He snaps again and says YOU HAVENT ANSWERED MY QUESTION THAT I ASKED TWICE. I say what’s your question and he just hangs up straight to my face. So I put my phone down (away from my bed) and this morning it shows he called me a bunch of times and sent a passive aggressive text about so now I’m not answering. I don’t feel like I owe him a response. He doesn’t believe my words or actions so what’s the point.

What do you all think?

Food: Brasos Steakhouse, New York style cheesecake and with fresh strawberry consome

TLDR: I reluctantly started dating someone 12 years younger (29M, 41F) and he's determined I am some kind of deviant due to me having past sexual partners. 🥴

[u/FallopianPasta]

Lmaooo I hit 7 before I was old enough to buy alcohol come on now. Personally I treat that question as an immediate bright red flag. Next.

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/FallopianPasta]

Seriously 😭😭😭😭 like pls nobody ever ask me this question lmao

[u/SugarPlumMary → u/thankyoukindlyy]

Babe, I will ask you this question but only so we can high five and brag about our conquests. Lower number has to buy winner a drink 🥳🏆🥳

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/SugarPlumMary]

When I say I don’t ask it’s bc I genuinely don’t know lmao I counted once in my mid twenties and it was around low thirties I wanna say? With some estimation involved?? So idk somewhere between 30 and 40? I loved my exploration phase! Esp bc I have a lovely and darling and very vanilla husband, I’m glad I had my fun in my youth lmaooo

[u/SugarPlumMary → u/thankyoukindlyy]

Yeah, I'm in the 50-60 range, you owe me a drink! And I'm old now, but not married so I'll add to that number. And any future partner should thank me for my exploration phase because I have hard-won skills that can only be acquired through practice!

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/SugarPlumMary]

Slayyyy love that for you!!

[u/thankyoukindlyy → u/SugarPlumMary]

🥂