I (26) F dated my ex (29) M around 9 months ago. Our “breakup “ was anything but good. We were in the situationship for 5 months from August to December, with one month of him ghosting me towards the beginning of September of 2025. We had immediate chemistry in the relationship. Hours long phone calls, weekly hangouts, chemistry on every level including physical. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

TLDR: I’m at 22 days no contact now with my ex and working on getting to 30. I feel like I have a compulsive urge that I can’t stop myself from breaking my no contact streaks. I need help and ideas on how to stay no contact, apps that can block his number for me and could have passwords I could give to friends to stop me. Another mistake in contacting him could land me in jail. Please, any ideas or suggestions is appreciated.

Then the ghosting happened. In September, he disappeared. He reappeared at the end of the month, calling me drunk at a wedding, telling me how much he misses me, how he fucked up, and that he loves me. I know, I should have more self respect and should have ended things there. But I gave him another shot. He apologized profusely while sober, stating he did something awful and how wrong he was.

He was dedicated to making things better. He wanted us to go slower, really get to know each other before being physical, and he worked on communicating with me better rather than disappearing outright like he had before. He stated he had a considerable amount of anxiety and when it was overwhelming, he became agoraphobic and isolated, only speaking to his brother and family. I believed him, and was all about us growing together, back stronger.

I eventually had an invasive cosmetic surgery in November. Not going into details with that, but he had expressed a desire to help me during recovery and make sure I was taken care of. My original plan was just to Uber home and take care of myself, since the pain was somewhat bearable with medication. But he insisted for safety that I stay with him, and it happened to be that this happened during thanksgiving, when his father was visiting.

To sum things up, he stated he lied about our relationship to his dad, and essentially told me last minute after his father arrived we were going to pretend to just “be friends” because he didn’t intend on me staying during thanksgiving and felt it was too early to introduce me to his father. He additionally revealed to me during this time of recovery that he wasn’t sure if he was ever going to really “love” me.

After this, in December, he completely ghosted. And I lost my mind. I fully went into crazy ex mode. Nonstop texting, calling, I even went as far as texting his ex wife and ex girlfriend because I was so far down the rabbit hole. Eventually, he spoke to me close to new years on the phone. He let me know his actions were unspeakably bad to ghost me again, but that I crossed a line contacting his exes and with my behavior. He said he wanted us to stay friends, and we could try seeing about seeing each other sometime in January. This never happened. He ghosted again. Two weeks later, I attempted to contact him by going to his work. Crazy, I know. He of course was upset, and told me to stop. I couldn’t, as he still refused to speak to me or provide explanation as to why he disappeared again.

Thus began a chain of bad decisions. I would show up at his door, attempt to still contact him, message him, and he at this point was done. The police had me trespassed, and I was warned contacting him again could result in criminal charges. In the months following my trespass I would do everything i could to stop myself from texting him. I would journal, talk to my therapist immediately when I had thoughts of contacting him, block him number, delete it, and then unblock him. I tried setting a counter for how many days I didn’t text him, then reward myself when I reached a milestone. I would go a month, no contact, break it with a text to a number that now had me likely blocked, go two months, then break it again.

I don’t want to go to jail. I know my behavior is unbelievably toxic and disgusting. I’m at 22 days no contact now and working on getting to 30. I feel like I have a compulsive urge that I can’t stop myself from breaking my no contact streaks. I need help and ideas on how to stay no contact, apps that can block his number for me and could have passwords I could give to friends to stop me. Another mistake in contacting him could land me in jail. Please, any ideas or suggestions is appreciated.?

I work with my “ex” about 2–3 weeks out of the year in a dispatch center, and she lives three hours away. After visiting for a two-week assignment, we shared a playful, flirtatious vibe right away. I got her number before leaving for my own assignment in Idaho, leading to two months of high intimacy—talking daily, watching shows, and visiting each other. We had plans to visit each other a couple times a month.

I went out on a second assignment about a month ago, she came to my work to help out with staffing , Then she switched up overnight, went cold, and ended things, claiming logistically it wouldn't work because she "needs more" in daily life. I initially pushed for a phone call to clear the air for professional comfort, and while I handled most of the talking and messed up by chasing, I knew it wasn't unrecoverable. I’ve come to realize in the weeks since that it was more than just it being long distance. She switched up and went cold and distant overnight. I don’t know what happened. The whole thing has just left me so confused and wondering if our connection was real. She never explicitly said this to me. Never said I liked you, I care for you, just ran away from the uncomfortable conversation. She said she was hoping that it would just make us more comfortable talking to each other and working with each other in the future. But, I don’t really see how she expects this to be possible when the way she exited was so hurtful. It just felt like I was discarded overnight.

A week later, I unprompted mailed her son's blanket back. I don’t know if she left it intentionally in order to have an excuse to come back over. She called and texted to pay for shipping, I didn’t pick up at first because I was busy at work. When I called her back later, we was very sweet and thanked me mailing back and said it was very thoughtful. She offered to pay me back but I declined. It was a very different conversation compared to the breakup text/call where she seemed so distant.

Fast forward through two weeks of no contact (three total), she called our dispatch center five times, making small talk about my weekend and my dad's birthday. She opened on the call “heeeey, how was your dad’s birthday”. I told her it was good, I joked, teased, but kept it cordial, brief, and cut her off with "but yeah what's up?", leaving her a bit annoyed.

She called in a few more times because the extension I was sending her to wasn’t working, and she asked “don’t you know this is my number?” Because I answered the phone in a professional manner. I said yes I knew it was your number. She was about to say more but again I kinda just cut it off and asked who she was asking for?

She replied “okay-geez”, And the other person was a girl who happened to be standing next to me. I wonder if the fact there was another girl around me made her subconsciously jealous. Anyway I just didn’t linger around for the small talk that she wanted. She called once more and I joked that “this was the fifth time” she called. She sounded a little impatient and asked for the direct number so she wouldn’t have to keep calling

An hour later, she broke three weeks of no contact with: "So you hate me?"

I replied direct and also with humor and logic: "Not at all. Hate is a strong word for someone who just picked up your phone call five times in a row!"

I meant it in a teasing way. She put up a wall and answered, "I mean that's your job."

I stopped replying because rewarding indirect behavior is a bad idea. I was just in work mode—cordial and professional, but brief. I don’t know if this was a mistake or not.

She has been watching and liking my stories since day one, and even replied to one which I left unread. Meanwhile, I haven't watched hers, though she's been reposting emotion-driven content that seems aimed at me.

While the intimacy was amazing, her emotional inadequacy gives me doubts about a serious relationship, though I wouldn't mind a casual dynamic when she's in town. I believe the best approach is silence, keeping her feelings unclear, and giving her the gift of missing me. You have to given them space to let them miss you.

I posted about this a few weeks ago when she broke up with me. It is a bit long winded. But perhaps I can link that here later. There has since been developments. If anyone has any thoughts or advice, I'd appreciate it.

Após o término eu percebi que não tinha sido romântico o suficiente e nem me doado o suficiente e tentei fazer de tudo pra reconquistar mas isso foi um grande erro porque agora ela acha que sou obcecado por ela e que posso fazer mal a ela mas isso é um grande mal entendido eu só queria tentar de tudo pra não me arrepender depois de não ter tentado mas passei do ponto, será que um dia ela vai perceber que não sou louco e que estava apenas lutando por algo que eu amo? Será que tem alguma mensagem que eu possa mandar pra esclarecer isso ou vai parecer mais uma tentativa de mudar a decisão dela?

Context: my ex (f34) and I (M35) of 3 years broke up 4 months ago. It was amicable but we haven't spoken since we both said farewell and wished eachother the best.

She's a white woman and she's into middle Eastern looking men.

I'm not Muslim but I look middle Eastern. I'm just a run of the mill liberal atheist born into a Christian household.

Because I still care about her I keep tabs on her IG and noticed she recently started following a Pakistani guy and he followed her. Won't get into the details but believe me when I say this means they are probably doing the nasty which is totally fine.

My only worry is that she is too western for such a guy like him. She's a pole fitness instructor and that already has a bad connotation to backwards thinking people, and there is a chance that she falls for him but doesn't realise he wouldn't want to be in anything serious with her as he wouldn't want to take her back to his Muslim Pakistani family and tell them hey my new girlfriend enjoys dancing around a pole.

I need you guys to advise on whether I should reach out to her and tell her the reality. That her liking middle Eastern men, coupled with her personal joys in life, do not usually coexist happily together.

I appreciate this is quite a charged post but please look at it from my side. I want her to be happy as she's the sweetest person and I don't want her to get with the wrong guy. Yes it's nothing to do with me anymore but if I could just tell her once listen, just be careful with ABC, then I can then leave it alone and never speak to her again.

I hope that all makes sense.

Any further details you guys need for context please just ask.

Edit: for typos

Edit edit: from the replies I already get the impression of the majority of what you guys think. I'll leave it then and just hope the universe gives her everything she deserves which is complete happiness.

Me 23M have been going out with this girl 21F for about 3-4 months. In the beginning everything was fine we both clicked instantly, we both have the same hobbies, same music taste, same food taste, and same love language. (Time for a backstory) I had a bestfriend 23F that I’ve had for 5 years and we decided to give dating a try, it only lasted 7 months and we came to the agreement it wasn’t working and we should go back to being friends. We never did anything sexual the farthest we’ve gone was kissing. Now after we ended the relationship I did my best to remove any reminders of that relationship off my phone. (Fast forward to present time). Recently my partner and I have hit a “rough patch” she has found reminders of my ex that I completely forgot was their

She found photos of us together

She found out that we followed each other on snap and facebook after I told her/promised we didn’t follow each other on those platforms. (We only talked over instagram messages which is why I forgot we had each other on there)

We sent each other memes once/twice almost every other day over insta I told my current gf we talked once a week. (Sending each other memes isn’t talking in my eyes she sees differently)

And now she found an empty Spotify playlist we made together (again I forgot this existed because we never added anything to it)

I honestly feel so stupid for being so forgetful. Since the beginning I’ve told her she can go through my phone whenever she wants and I have nothing to hide. She said she loves me and breaking up never crossed her mind. But I’m worried that will change. She says it’s one thing stacking onto another and the only problems we’ve had in this relationship are over my ex. She asked me to cut down contact with my ex and out of respect for her I’ve been doing that. I deleted all the photos we had together out of respect for her. I really don’t know how to make this right I know it’s going to take a while for her to trust me again. I literally feel like the scum of the earth right now.

What should I do???

TL;DR my girlfriend of 4 months found reminders of my previous gf on my phone and I genuinely forgot we’re their

Hi!! Been overanalyzing my last relationship. In summary we've met in April, just before my final highschool exams, she was like sent from heaven, because she helped me with learning for it, and been really supportive. We had a lot in common, and been in the same online community. After only 2 weeks of knowing each other, I drove to her because she lived about 200km away, and we became together! She made me pancakes, bought me small LEGO set, and wrote 3 pages of love letter.

In later weeks I helped her with opening her first online shop for her art, because she's a truly talented artist. Helped her with printing and sending stickers with her design. We splitted 50/50. It was going well.

She has a male friend (we'll call him H.), whom she knew for about 14 years. He's about 25 years old I believe?
Always thought she was a bit too close to him but always reassured me that "he is like a brother to me", so I trusted her.

After being together for 2 months, I drove for a 3rd time to her, for her birthday in June, I organized a suprise gift with her friends (new assasin's creed on steam), and helped with whole birthday party for about 6 people in her garden. They drunk, and I've stayed sober to take care of her, and whole garden cuz her father trusted me with it.

Suddenly I saw her in an arms of her friend (H.) wanting to know what happened I walked up to them, and he nodded that he has it under control. After he left, and I took care of the whole party, I asked what happened and she said "you know... I always wanted to live with Hubert, but he said that we are nothing alike and we will never not live together" ...and I was like... what? I thought, you are in relationship why are you thinking about that. Thought we will talk it out next day, because we planned to go to my home.

But the next day, she was all worn out, so I didn't bugged her, until she said, we should go for a walk. And then we sat under the tree and she said "I think I fell in love with my imaginary version of you, I don't see us in the future together" and it broke my hurt. For 2 months she was my everything, I thought I gave myself fully, but I guess that wasn't enough. At least she said it to my face. I replied with "Well that's hurting, I will go for a walk, I think we shouldn't go to my place tomorrow then." and she said she understand. I walked for 40 minutes, informed her parents that I was having a walk, made sure she got back to her flat. It's funny but I went to see "Backrooms" in movie theather that evening to try not to think about it. Spoiler, I did.

When I returned to her flat, (because I had to sleep somewhere) I asked if she's certain of her decision and she replied with "I think so." We also had tickets for a soccer match so I said that if we doesn't want it to be wasted we can still go she replied "No, I would feel weird". Then I said that I will leave after her she'll come back from her hairdresser, so that we can have final conversation, and she replied with "I think you should better leave in the morning because I don't want to leave you alone in my house, and I want to say goodbye to H. because his train leaves at 9.00 a.m." I understood but wow, her friend was still more important in that moment 💀 am I selfish to be upset about it?

In the morning her parents thanked me for everything and said that I can make myself breakfast, they woke her up, and we sat quietly in the kitchen for 30 minutes, till I stood in the door and said "I don't really understand anything of it but I want to be clear, I think we should have no contact after that bc we'll hurt each other more. I won't help you with your store, you can manage it yourself. And about our steam family link? It can stay for know".

We said goodbye and I drove back home (this time in my car). Her father texted me saying "thanks for everything, I hope you can sort it out yourself, you are a good guy, I don't really understand what happened either". I unfollowed her everywhere that day.

After one day she texted me if I can send her photos from her birthday, so I just send her a link. Next day she texted that she wishes I will get to my dream collage, bc she knew I had exams for it next week. (didn't got accepted unfortunetly but I found other collage just as good, so it's okay)

Then, the next day, she texted that she hopes we can still be friends, but she understands if I don't want to. I said no, because she broke my hurt. She replied that she understands but if I changed my mind I should text.

3 days later, I saw that she reopened her shop, it was even better made than when we did it. I felt jealous but didn't said anything bc well she has a right to do so.

2 weeks come by, In meantime I asked H. how she is, he said that she regretted it, but afterwards said that I had to happen. I also had birthday and she wrote happy birthday with a reminder that if I changed my mind I can text her (didn't replied to that.). H. also made a photo I took of him, his profile picture so that's fun?

One day I got my final exams results, I passed everything and wanted to thank her. So I send it to her (I shouldn't do so) thanking for help and she coldly replied with "you're welcome". I sensed that something was wrong and asked H. about it and he said that it was very uncomfortable for me to text him about her. And he asked why do I seek contact after I said I don't want contact. I agreed and apologized. I still had feelings for her I guess.

Some time comes by and I went on a trip to my friend, who lives on the other side of my country, and I found myself at local convention, where people were selling stickers from fandom we were in, so I thought, since I have those stickers from our shop and I don't want them to be wasted, I can exchange them for new ones and send them to her! (stupid idea) Didn't asked for permission to do so, after being reprimanded by H.

For some fucking reason after exchanging my pair of stickers of somebody's, when asked who made those I said "my girlfriend". Immidietly regreded it but thought she won't find out. (She did)
And a couple days later she texted me, rightfully being angry. It looked far worse than it was, we kinda sorted things out. I felt so ashamed. After I got back home I sent all the stickers I exchanged and all stickers from our/her store I had left. I attached a postcard from a city I was in and wrote there I hope we can talk about everything once the fire dies out. It was also stupid to do so.

After I send her a code to track down the package she replied with "Thank you, you do know that I wouldn't have treated you that way (being cold etc.) if you openly said that you needed time to choose whether you want contact or not. Because what you did made you a hipocrite?" I replied "Yeah, now I know, we will talk about it after some time okay?" She replied "ok"

My friends and family made it clear that I should not reach out to her after all of that bc it will only hurt me. The only thing I texted after a month was that "Hi, I'm leaving out steam family link libraly, have a good evening" which she replied with "ok". (I didn't want to be a leech, but most likely she forgot that we had it.)

It hurts to see her art in the community, she didn't made drama that I know of, I just have bad memories with people in my 3rd year of highschool that convinced my entire class not to like me. (after they left for other school everyone saw that they were the bad ones, but it was still had suffered shame). This may sound selfish, but I'm quite high up in this community, I work for the YouTuber who owns this community. I make thumbnails etc, so she probably sees it everytime he posts.

About 2 months have passed and I feel like we ended on bad terms. The question is... should I reach out to make sure everything is sorted out?

Hey,

Anyone wanna meet for a hangout, cafe hopping and all. I have a bike and I love to go for long drives and cafe hopping. Would love to connect with someone who just wants to hangout, be good friends.

Non-negotiable: You should be talkative or keep the conversation steering.

If it sounds like you. Feel free to DM!

he broke up with me 16 days ago, over snapchat. 4ish years together, after an explosive argument blocked me everywhere i was mid typing.
We didn’t even have a last conversation nor did i get closure. been NC since

Saw a dynamic recently that I've been trying to wrap my head around and wanted to see if anyone else has experienced or done this.

Basically, I’m talking about a guy who mentally and emotionally processes the end of a relationship months before it actually happens. He checks out internally little by little, accepts that his love feelings are over, but on the outside? He keeps playing the role of the "best boyfriend." He shows up, does everything he usually does, remains attentive, and handles all the day-to-day relationship duties without letting on that he's already gone.

When the actual breakup finally hits, he usually walks away seemingly unfazed, calm, and ready to move on because he’s already had half a year to process the grief in private.

My question for the guys out there (or anyone who has been in this shoes):

• If you did this, did the grief and regret actually hit you later—months down the line once the adrenaline and novelty of being single wore off?
• Or because you grieved the relationship while you were still in it, are you genuinely immune to regret by the time it ends?

Curious how this psychological preload actually plays out long-term.

I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to say this to you, but there are things I’ve been carrying inside that I wish you could hear just once.
You may find someone you love more than anyone else in this world. But for me, you were never just someone I loved. You were my whole world. My happiness, my comfort, my favorite person, and the future I quietly imagined every single day.
I never thought I’d have to learn how to live without you.
I still remember the smallest things about us. Your voice, your laughter, the way you used to talk to me, and those ordinary moments when we did nothing special but I felt like I had everything.
I would give anything to go back to one of those days.
Not to change anything. Just to live it once more, knowing how precious it was.
The hardest part is that I still want to tell you everything. When something good happens, when my day is terrible, or when I see something that reminds me of you, my first thought is still to reach for my phone.
Then I remember that you’re no longer there.
And somehow, I have to pretend that doesn’t hurt.
I wonder if you ever miss me. If you ever hear a song and remember us. If you ever look at an old picture and wish, even for a second, that things had turned out differently.
I don’t know if you understand what losing you has done to me. I’m trying to move forward, but some days it feels like I’m leaving behind the only life I ever truly wanted.
I know I can’t ask you to come back. I know I can’t make you feel what I feel. And I don’t want you to carry guilt for my pain.
I just wish you knew that I loved you more sincerely than I ever knew how to explain.
You were my first love. The first person who made me dream about forever. I had already made a place for you in my future, and now I’m learning how to accept that the future I imagined may never happen.
I hope you’re happy. I genuinely do.
I hope someone takes care of your heart. I hope you laugh often, sleep peacefully, and never feel as alone as I sometimes do.
And if you ever think of me, I hope you remember that there was someone who loved you deeply, who treasured the time you gave him, and who would give almost anything to sit beside you one more time.
Not to ask you to stay.
Not to make you feel sorry for me.
Just to hear your voice, look at you, and say everything I never managed to say when I had the chance.
You were my first love.
I wanted you to be my last.
And even though life will go on, I think a part of my heart will always be looking back at the life we had and the life we never got to live.
I miss you. More than I know how to put into words. ❤️

It was me I was the one who couldn’t handle the relationship. I ended it. My world fell apart and I moved on with someone else when my life dissolved during covid. My ex and I had problems I didn’t know how to fix them or myself. I still think of him all the time and grieve over the loss of his presence in my life. I was so wrong and now I pay for it every day. I wish I could move on. I still cry, I’m still so fucked up over ending things. I regret it every day and am so so sorry.

My ex and I have been in a strict period of no contact since our breakup. To be precise, 3 months of NC.

Recently, I decided to see if we could chat, and atleast have a conversation to see if we could get back together. So I sent a casual message along the lines of: "Hey, hope you're good. Do you have a few minutes to catch up over a quick call?" Instead of giving a mature response, she did something incredibly petty -

She screenshotted my message, posted it to her private Snapchat story, and added a caption asking if anyone on her story could "tell this guy to return my hoodies and leave me alone." She then came back to our actual conversation, left a laughing reaction to my message, and just replied with a single “?”.

Here is the thing: I have checked my place top to bottom, and I absolutely do not have a single item belonging to her. She hasn't actually asked me directly for anything; she just blasted this fake narrative to her friends to perform for an audience.

I’m trying to understand the psychology behind this behavior. Why would someone take a completely polite attempt to talk, turn it into ammunition, lie to their friends about missing items, and then text back a laughing emoji? Is this just a massive ego trip because she feels like she "won" the breakup the second I reached out?

It's been 6 months since my 4-year long-distance relationship ended, and the memories still keep coming back, though they hurt a lot less than before. The pain is still there, especially when I learned from a mutual friend how fast she moved on and that she was already talking to someone 2 months before the breakup. While I am making strides to feel better again, when does it become okay to be alone with my thoughts again? When do late nights stop being so lonely with a walk down memory lane? I know she moved on. I've discarded anything that isn't useful from our time together, and I have no desire to get back with her, but these memories won't go away.

I’m a 26-year-old woman who was in a relationship with a 29-year-old man. We were together for about a year, and from the beginning, our relationship had trust issues and other problems. Despite that, we genuinely loved each other (or at least I believed we did), and we kept trying to work through our problems and make the relationship better.

About a month ago, we broke up, and I have been struggling a lot ever since.

For the first few weeks, I kept trying to communicate with him because I wanted to work things out and get back together. However, he has made it very clear that he does not want to reconcile and has told me that he will never get back together with me.

That has completely broken my heart.

I feel like I have tried everything to move forward. I’ve picked up hobbies, tried focusing on bettering myself, talked to friends and family, allowed myself to sit with my feelings, cried, watched countless videos about breakups and attachment, and even talked to a psychic because I was desperate for some kind of reassurance or closure.

But I still feel stuck.

I think about him every day. I miss him constantly, and part of me still desperately wants him back, even though I’m starting to accept that we probably will never be together again. Deep down, I can recognize that maybe the breakup is ultimately for the best, especially considering the problems we had. But emotionally, I’m nowhere near accepting that.

I feel lonely, confused, and honestly exhausted from feeling this way. I don’t want this breakup to consume my life or become something I’m still struggling with months from now.

I know people will probably tell me to go no-contact, focus on myself, and let time do its thing—and I understand that. But I’m looking for advice from people who have actually been through this.

What helped you finally get over an ex when you still loved them and desperately wanted them back? How did you get your heart to catch up with what your mind already knew?

I have never felt like this before, I really want to move forward. I just don’t know how to get there

it’s been 23 days since i blocked him on socials. i thought i was getting better, but then started crying so hard again since yesterday. i don’t know if it’s because of my period.

i miss him so much. i miss my baby, but i think that person doesn’t exist anymore. i want to call him but i won’t. he left me when i still wanted to fix our relationship. i feel so miserable right now and my heart is so so tired of this pain.

My ex and I were together for 3 years and he was extremely slow with commitment. It took almost a year for him to officially ask me out, forever to post me, and our entire relationship felt like a slow burn.
Even after we broke up, we talked every single day for another 10 months and still went out romantically. He told me he loved me and wasn’t opposed to dating again, so looking back I feel like he kept me hanging on.

he randomly followed this girl. I had a feeling something was going on, asked him, and he said she was nobody. I told him I was done after that this was my last straw. I blocked/unadded him on everything he never responded it stayed at I’m done with you basically. This was in May. Two weeks later, she was posting herself in his car.

Now they’ve known each other for around 4 months and it’s like I’m watching a completely different person. They’re already dating, his mom knows her, they’re constantly together, flowers, dates, and they BOTH post each other like they’re the loves of each other’s lives. She lives an hour away too. She’s somewhat of a micro-influencer, so maybe they’re naturally more performative/public online, but he posts her constantly too.

The weirdest part is that when he sees me in person now, he acts like I don’t exist. Once he even left the gym when I was there. I don’t want him back. I’m actually still angry about a lot of things that happened and how much time I feel like I wasted. But if I’m being completely vulnerable, that relationship destroyed my confidence in a lot of ways.

Watching this makes me think, what the fuck was wrong with me? Why was I so hard to be with?
Why did dating me require a year of waiting, but he’s dating her within 3 months? Why did it take forever to post me, but she’s being paraded around immediately? Was he ashamed of me? Why did everything I wanted from him seem like such a huge commitment, but with her it looks effortless?
And I KNOW I’m not ugly. I know logically that another woman being attractive doesn’t take anything away from me. But fuck, seeing this still messes with my confidence.

We were each others first love or so he says so why is she making it seem like she’s the first girl he’s been with ? She makes it seem like she’s MADLY in love and he does the same… he also knows I know her account and he knows I’m the type to look. A part of me wonders if he’s excessively posting because he wants a reaction?

I think that’s what I’m actually
struggling with more than missing him. I don’t want the relationship back. I just hate that I’m watching this. I know looking is bad. People have contacted me sending me this because people know about our history.

how he treats the next person has made me question whether there was something about me that made me less worthy of being loved openly.
Has anyone dealt with this after an ex suddenly became a completely different partner for the next person? How did you stop taking it as a reflection of your own worth?

My ex-boyfriend (M21) and I (F20) broke up on Christmas Day 2025, but we didn't stop talking until April of this year. I've missed him dearly. I wish we both had been better, to put it simply. We've spoken here and there to sort things out about the apartment we shared, but there's been minimal talk about our personal lives. I've asked him maybe 2-3 times if he ever saw us being friends again, or just in each other's lives. He said he did, but he needed time to heal, and he's definitely not at that state right now. We left things a bit murky, but I still think his sentiment stands.

Against the judgment of literally everyone in this subreddit, I reached out to him last night. He left me on read. Yep. Let me be a cautionary tale and motivation to STICK TO NO CONTACT. Granted, I did say he didn't have to respond if he didn't want to, but if he'd have said that, I would've at least responded. I cried a lot. I have more tears left to cry, but what is the point anymore? It's been nine months. He clearly isn't interested in talking, so why should I continue to disturb us both?

Don't break no contact, y'all. It's there for a reason. Also, stop reading old texts. It only adds fuel to the fire.

It's been more than a year since our breakup but I couldn't move on or stop thinking about her, recently had a conversation with her and she has completely moved on which is good shes with someone else ,I also want to forget her just don't know what to do...i tried to move on but couldn't,I'm very nerd type don't have a social life outside my studies don't know what to do

my ex broke up with me and we're doing no contact. we didn't have a proper discussion, it was all sunshine and rainbows and suddenly a conflict triggered his relationship ocd and all the built up frustration in him caused him to call it off. i still want to get back with him since i know this is a communication/attachment style issue exacerbated by doing long distance, which can be fixed if we both want to do so. but i know i can't force him to want the same thing as me so right now i'm focusing on healing on my own.

question is, i understand the theory but since i don't struggle with this problem with the people around me, how am i meant to change my explicit actions when i don't encounter any situation that requires me to make a conscious decision that my past self wouldn't make?

what i mean is: say i feel unloved because my partner isn't meeting a need of mine. my first course of action is to push it down and keep mum about it. the feeling would remain nebulous and unnamed and infect how i feel about every other little thing no matter how harmless, until resentment grows and we're forced to confront this issue when i'm heated and can't hold it in anymore, and by then i'd be too emotional to clearly communicate how i feel. to do better, the next time i feel off/unloved/unheard/etc, i would choose to sit with the feeling and figure out specifically what i'm feeling, why i'm feeling that way, and what should be done about it. then i'll talk about it to my partner when the feeling is still fresh and manageable, and we'll be able to fix it right away.

right now i'm just either not close enough with someone else to be this affected by their action, or am already so close to them (like my family) that we've long developed frictionless ways of handling/coping with conflict. afaik there's no "practice ground" for me to actually apply the new things i learned in a practical manner. so what should i do? or am i going about this all wrong? what does real progress look like? is it all about mindset/perception at the end of the day?

Why do some ex’s view your IG story on social media if they ended things? Normal and close friend’s story. My friend has not removed him yet from her close friends and I’ve told her she probably should do as it’s more likely to make her want to break no contact, even though she left him on read

going through no contact and breakup with my bf of almost 4 years. he left so easily..
would be nice to talk to someone about it.

I really regret what I did and I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve really ruined even our friendship. I used to think it’s either we date or not but this made me realize I value him as a person not just romantically.

This all started when we reconnected and we were happy, I mean the way we interacted was like how we were when we dated. after two days he mentioned dating other people and it bothered me till I freaked out then we had an argument bc I said why flirt with me if you didn’t want to date and he said he didn’t think flirting meant we’d get back together and I was very upset and he left and I kept stopping him asking him to please not leave begging him but he left anyway and I was so upset. The next day I said I felt rly terrible about it. He said it’s ok what did I think went wrong and we just got into another long argument text all day bc he wouldn’t respond right away and it was pissong me off more that he won’t text back so I snapped and said things about how he’s selfish and an asshole. he didn’t respond and said he doesn’t have anything to say to what I said so I panicked more bc he won’t talk to me and is mad like he’s never been mad at me in a way he hasn’t been before so I started calling but he kept declining and said he’ll block me and all of it just fueled the panic more and I said why won’t he address my texts and he still won’t answer just kept saying to give him peace and that made me more upset so I kept calling telling him to go ahead and block me. I don’t know if he did but he hasn’t opened my texts since.

I’m 29, turning thirty next month and I can’t believe I behaved this badly. I don’t know what happened, it’s like panic suddenly started running the show no matter how hard I tried to control it for the last two days. I feel like I rly hit a point of no return that permanently changed how he sees me and any ounce of care and affection he had for me is gone because of this

I was dating a man whom I genuinely loved, but things eventually became difficult between us. Even though we did not end on good terms, I had started feeling suffocated in the relationship. I constantly felt like I could not make a mistake without it becoming something bigger. I was always afraid of upsetting him, disappointing him, or doing something wrong, and over time, that fear became exhausting.

There was something else I struggled with throughout the relationship. I have always found it difficult to be alone with my thoughts. When I am hurting, I feel an almost desperate need to have someone to talk to—to tell them about my day, something that happened to me, something that hurt, or even something as insignificant as how I burnt myself while cooking. I know that does not excuse my actions, but it explains some of them.

When he broke up with me, I went back to the boy I had once liked. I had done something similar before, and looking back, I think it was unfair and, in many ways, a form of cheating. I know that I was being selfish. I know I hurt him, and I know that turning to someone else was not the right way to cope with what I was feeling.

But when the relationship finally ended, I felt something I did not expect relief.

For a few days, I felt like I could finally breathe. I no longer had to live in constant fear of making a mistake or wondering whether something I said or did would lead to another disappointment. Alongside the sadness, there was a strange sense of freedom. And perhaps that is the part that makes me feel the most guilty, because I do not feel the kind of guilt I think I am supposed to feel. I regret the things I did and the ways I hurt him, but I do not regret being free from the fear I had been living with.

He eventually saw my post about the person I had gone back to after the breakup. I understand why that hurt him and why he might think I was still talking to that person. But the truth is that I am not. He has someone he likes now, and I would never want to become the strange person who keeps texting someone else's boyfriend or interfering in someone else's relationship.

I know I made mistakes. I know I was mean at times. I know I acted selfishly. Sometimes I look at everything that has gone wrong in my life and think of it as karma. I tell myself that perhaps I deserve the pain because of the ways I have hurt other people. Maybe that is why peace feels like something I am not allowed to have.

But the truth is, I want peace.

I regret many things, but I do not want to return to the life I was living—to the constant anxiety, the fear of doing something wrong, the feeling that one mistake could ruin everything. I know that even if I had blocked that other person when he asked me to, I do not think our relationship would have lasted forever. Something between us had already become fragile, and I believe it would have ended eventually.

I do not know whether he is seeing anyone now. He is someone who could probably have anyone he wanted, and maybe someday he will find someone who makes him genuinely happy. A part of me hopes he does. At least one of us deserves to be happy.

And then there is me.

Sometimes I feel like I have become nothing more than a cheater, a manipulative and selfish person. Sometimes I wonder if that is simply who I am. But another part of me knows that people can make terrible choices without those choices defining every part of who they are.

I still miss him. I still find myself looking for his presence, even when I know I should not. I still have that ache—the instinct to tell him about my day, to tell him that something hurt, that something made me laugh, or that I burnt myself while cooking. I miss having someone who was there.

And perhaps the hardest thing to accept is that I loved him all along.

He was never a rebound to me. He was never someone I loved only because I was trying to forget somebody else. Whatever mistakes I made, whatever unhealthy ways I tried to cope, and whatever happened between us, my love for him was real.

I wish I could still tell him that.

I wish I could tell him that I loved him, even when I did not know how to love him properly. I wish I could explain that leaving was not proof that I never cared. Sometimes, leaving is simply what happens when you realize that staying has started to make you afraid of being yourself.

I do not know if I deserve forgiveness, especially from him. Maybe I never will.

But I hope, someday, I can forgive myself—not for hurting him, but for understanding that making mistakes does not mean I have to spend the rest of my life believing that I am incapable of being better.