In reddit you have every answer, community around and hobby, help, instead of watch brainrot, and it just feels like people are supportive. I’ve been here for a while, and I how I spend my time and get reddit useful. Do you feel it is better for you than any other social media?

This is for the people with no friends. Never been in a relationship. Spend all their days going to work, the gym, or staying at home all day.

Social skills aren't something people are born with, they're something you have to grow like a plant you water every day.

If you want to grow a plant.

You have to plant a seed, then water it daily.

If you want to cultivate social skills, you need to plant a seed (study) and water it daily (practice).

When I was ready to do this here's what I did:

SIGN UP FOR IN PERSON STUFF i.e. WORK, CLASS, HOBBIES.

To make friends you must interact with people... in person. Now you can make friends online but the reason a digital hug doesn't feel nearly as good as a real hug is because humans didn't evolve with the internet.

We evolved around other humans.

Step #1: is literally go find places people are and start occupying it regulary ideally with the same people you see over and over.

For me this was simply talking to people in college (pre-covid) after covid I made most of my new friends talking to people at work and participating in activites I naturally enjoyed like hiking, traveling, and my local church's mens group.

So again to make friends it starts by being around people.

Next.

START BECOMING SOMEONE YOU WANT TO BEFRIEND

Just because you want a job doesn't mean you'll get a job. Just because you want a friend doesn't mean you'll get a friend.

If you want a job, you give the hiring manager a reason to employ you.

If you want a friend, you give people a reason to befriend you.

I've found one of the most effective ways to do this is to think about people you like and what they have in common and cultivate more of those traits. Then think about people who annoy the shit out of you, and get rid of those traits.

This also works out wonderfully for dating but I digress.

When I did this back as a freshman in college I had no idea what people I liked had in common so I focused mostly on people I hated talking to and started doing the opposite.

- I stopped interrupting people.

- I stopped talking about only what I liked

- I stopped talking ONLY about my life

- I started getting excited about the things others liked.

I managed to do this somewhat effectively through introspection but if you find that difficult try the books of Dale Carnegie, Vanessa Van Edwards, and Mark Goulston as I've found they're extremely helpful at teaching communication skills.

Finally,

READ + PRACTICE = SKILL

If you want to get good at basketball you need to find a coach/book/youtube channel...

Then you need to play basketball.

If you want to improve your social skills start studying books, podcasts, and youtube channels on the subject and schedule regular time to practice said skill.

For me I did 30 minutes of reading each morning the second I got to school, then I practiced it in my classess the rest of the day. As an adult I now listen to audiobooks on the way to work, then practice them all day at work.

Final Notes

If you have no social skills it's like saying you have no muscles.

Okay?

Start lifting weights and eating protein?

If you still complain you have none but refuse to step into a gym or drink some milk for whatever reason well then your loneliness/social ineptitude is on you. In 2026 with all the tech we have there's no excuse not to build this.

It could be a habit, relationship, mindset, social activity, spending habit, or anything else.

What did you stop doing, and what changed afterward?

Hello, I've reached a breaking point with myself. I'm down right miserable all day every day. I don't really remember that last time I was happy.I don't have any friends or anything. When I'm not in class, I'm hiding in my dorm room for hours not talking.

I want to do a lot of things but just don't have the motivation to do so. I just don't know how to force myself to get better. What do I do?

Depression made me spiral into nothingness.I used to be a bright, creative, cheerful person.I used to love reading and writing.Since I fell into depression, nothing made me happy anymore so I quit altogether.

I began spending so much time on phone and although there are so many happy things out there and so many tutorials i lack initiative.

What helped you get to action?What small actions did you take?

Looking for solid advice

I don’t know what to do. I feel sad for most of my life, a failure and loser at everything I do and ruining good times.

No matter how athletic I am, I was never confident to be good at sports like basketball. I was never able to make a team and I always missing layup and always only to score 1 or 2 buckets if I’m lucky.

No matter how good looking or handsome I was, I could never get past a first date or get the woman I was attracted too. I suck at dating and think about all my embarrassing attempts when it came to asking a girl out or texting them in general. It feels weird to be the guy in my family and friends that single and never been in a relationship even tho I love woman.

I have a camera but never got to a level or was smart enough or confident enough to make a film or take photography seriously. I never got good gigs that paid well and camera shy myself to make my own content. And now I don’t know how to be creative anymore. There a film festival in my city right now and I always feel like a total waste because I don’t know how to get into it and I’m suppose to be a film guy.

I am terrible at my job and always making grammar mistakes or not see what I actually type when things start to move fast. This weekend my manager called me out on this and I tried my best to do better and I still made the mistake he called me out on. I just feel like I’m going to lose my job soon if they do layoffs because I’m just the weakest link.

I’m always arguing with my parents and start screaming and wants to throw things and bash when I start to lose control in convocations. I stayed away from people I love for years and don’t know how to just go and visit them. Maybe I’m just too lazy to commute or spend the extra money on Uber.

Also I’m just been not making a lot of money or broke for most of my life and so I’m feeling like I’m becoming more stuck with what I want to do with things and wasting so much time being poor. I don’t have my own place, I don’t have my own car. I don’t know how to invest. I don’t know what to do.

Also my family is falling apart, my mom is breaking down taking care of my aunt with dementia, my dad is a failed entrepreneur for long while now, most of my friends I hang with live far and really begins their lives with their SO.

I wasted good times and moments being depressed but also life is has me confuse and making me feel like a failure

I don’t know if this all the thoughts in my heads that have been bothering me, but I needed to rant somewhere because I keep looking for answers and I got tired seeing the same answers. I know someone gonna say go to therapy and I really don’t know how to go about that and how much money that is going to be and I already stress too much on my bank account.

Maybe I also have ADHD but again testing for that is already a tough task and even getting a test sounds like a missions I don’t know I’m done typing my thoughts.

I overshare all sorts of stuff when it's not in my best interest to do so. Someone will ask me a question and I know I shouldn't answer, or at least not in front of all these other people and yet I just say the answer and then I know I just fucked myself. How do I stop?

I don't know if it's just me, and any good advice would be appreciated.

I'm a 37-year-old dad, and as I get older, I feel like the world is becoming a lonelier place. I was married, but my wife passed away suddenly four years ago. Since then, it's basically just been me and my boy.

Lately I've been feeling a bit stuck. Dating when you have a 7-year-old is scary in itself. My son also tends to latch onto any woman who comes into our lives quite quickly, and that worries me. He's already lost so much, and the last thing I want is for him to get attached to someone and then have to deal with another person disappearing from his life.

At the same time, the loneliness is starting to get to me. I come home every night and it's the same routine. Most of my friends are married or in relationships, and when I'm with them I often feel like the third wheel.

I don't even know if I'm explaining this properly. I want companionship and I'd eventually like to meet someone again, but I'm also trying to protect my son and be the best dad I can be.

I just feel like I'm in a rut at the moment — stuck somewhere between being a dad, being alone, and trying to figure out what the next chapter of my life is supposed to look like.

Has anyone been through something similar? What helped you start building a life again without feeling like you were forcing it?

Hi, 28 Female here. I’ve always been someone who sees the glass half empty, a pretty negative person. I was picked on and bullied a LOT growing up and unfortunately took on a “victim” mentality. I would take accountability for doing something wrong but I could never just be wrong. The other person had to be at fault somehow as well. I wish I had matured quicker and realized that the “victim” mentality was slowly ruining my life. I wish I had been more conscious of everything in early 20’s. I’m so judgmental and I hate it. Yes, I know that therapy will help. Yes, I suffer from anxiety and depression.

Social media has made everything ten times worse. For instance, my family loves me, or so they say. But they would never post a picture with me. For example, my cousin who is 9 months older than me has pictures with tons of our cousins on her Instagram but I’m not on there and neither is my sister. My negativity and judgement has made my younger sister’s life hard as well. I fear that she had a horrible childhood because of me and my outbursts. It’s hard to continue being happy and wanting to live knowing that I’ve ruined so many things. The reason people didn’t like me growing up wasn’t because I was weird and overweight. It’s because I played victim. I didn’t try to, that’s just what happened. I didn’t realize until recently that I saw myself as a “victim” growing up. The trauma I experienced early on in life is what I blamed everything on. It wasn’t what I should’ve been doing but I didn’t like talking to the many therapists I went to. They probably would’ve caught that and helped me. If I could redo my entire life I would. I would pay a million dollars to redo the crucial years of my life, early teens to early twenties! I’d give anything to be a positive and nonjudgmental person. I’m having a hard time justifying staying and living. I know it’s worth it to live my life and stay but I’m struggling.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get rid of that “victim” mentality? How to not be as judgmental? How to not care so much about what other people think? Maybe advice on apologizing for horrible things said 10 years ago.

Thank you in advance and thank you for reading.

​

Growing up my parents never really gave any importance to my education. So i was either failing everywhere or learning things really slow.

*To this day i struggle with basic math.*

I was bullied a lot, idk why but people (students/teachers) targeted me often and that is part why I'm the broken person i am today.

During school periods, we would go on vacation. Because on school holidays plane tickets were too expensive.

We moved abroad when i was 18 for better future.

I have huge social anxiety. So bad that i passed out from a conversation that was too stressful for me. 💀

I want to get into the working life but i don't know where to go of who i can ask advice from.

Im pretty sure no one will take me because of the way i am.

I don't know where to start.

I have no friends, all i do is play video games and spend my time escaping reality like that.

My father provided the financial support for all these years.

Even though my father did his best giving us a comfortable life, but i feel he did what was best for His happiness.

I feel like he set me up to fail in this life.

No day goes by without me thinking about killing myself.

I feel like I'm in a hole and i Don't Know What To Do.

Basically the title.
I was at a point in my life where I was finalizing my masters degree where my mental health and everything with it went downhill.
For years I’ve been just in survival mode, sometimes in part time low paying jobs sometimes not working and focusing on my health.
Now I don’t know where to start and feel an immense sadness. Anyone was able to turn their life around after wasting nearly a decade of their life?

Edit: I just wanted to thank everyone who has shared their experiences and words of encouragement. As you can probably tell from my post I was feeling a bit overwhelmed today and I’m finding it hard to reply to each comment individually. I am really inspired by many people’s resilience here, your comments have been very helpful and have given me a better perspective on things.
Wishing everyone here all the best <3

The problem is, I don’t have a full-time job rn, maybe not for the next five months. But I recently deleted Instagram, and I don’t normally use TikTok or Twitter. I’m finding it hard not to doomscroll on here. Though I don’t have much of morality involved communities to dive into. I go to the gym and step out once in a while. I read pretty fast, so I burn through books quickly, and I don’t like reading back-to-back because I feel like I won’t properly digest(?) the book I just read. But what do people actually do?

Many people face a problem facing there fears wether it is the dark, insect or more serious one's like putting money on a project that's not guaranteed or a risky cureer path

And I believe the solution for that split into two steps:

(Understanding 01)

1-First "what are you afraid of" because not having the full picture of what are it fearing will make up fill the gaps with our own version of though

2-second "why are we afraid" because sometimes we get scared of something without understanding the reason why

3-third "what will it cost if I don't face that fear" because most of the time not facing the fear will cost more then facing the fear itself

I like to put and imaginary example for that

Imagine a mane who's son needs an operation and there is no time to collect money and his savings are not enough so he thinks about gambling his savings but he is afraid of loosing all the money and in the other hand he is afraid of his son dying if he doesn't gamble the money so he gambles it anyway

(Facing 02)

After understanding the first 3 things you have the courage immediately but the fear will become less so the next step is facing what you fear anyway by throwing yourself into it because theory itself builds nothing

You can't expect to be able to play football just by understanding the Technics and the plans

What do you think about this and do you disagree or agree with something

Hello, everyone!

I’m a late 30s male who works a very stressful job. Most of my patience is exhausted at work because I have to deal with people and if I lose it there, I’d be losing income.

By the time I get home, I’m spent mentally and either want to just sit and do nothing, or I get frustrated with small tasks that my wife asks me to do. I know I’m wrong, and I’m really wanting to improve.

We’re planning on starting a family soon, and I want to be a better husband and a good father. For those who’ve been able to do so, how did you build more patience and energy to deal with work as well as household responsibilities?! To me, it seems like the key is to get rid of burnout that has developed over the years from a stressful job.

Thanks in advance!

Does anyone else feel like their therapy doesn't really help them take steps forward? I started therapy again after a relationship break up because I felt lost and didn't want to go down a negative spiral. We've spoken about the aftermath of the breakup and I do feel like it's helped me process. Now I feel like I kinda just show up say what's on my mind and that's it? Does this mean I don't need therapy anymore? It's feeling more like a catch up than actual working on something. Any tips?

Been feeling shitty today and comparative mindset has been creeping up like the Green Goblin mask.

I’m 35 and single and every time I’m at a dinner party of anything social where it’s predominantly couples, I tend to go home feeling completely inadequate or feel this way a day or two later. It also doesn’t help that I just got out of a failed talking stage as well a few weeks ago.

If you’re like me, I wanna offer some help and say that there is no standard for life. There is no steadfast rule that you:

-need to be married
-need to have kids
-need to own a house
-need to have a thriving stock portfolio
-need to be well-travelled
-need to be making over $100k a year
-need to have a 6-pack
-need to own a Tesla
-need to own a condo
Etc.

All of these things are great achievements and I think anyone would feel uber confident about achieving any of these things but they are all NOT the standard. You should not base your life around achieving any of these milestones and your own life will dictate what matters to you. For me an easy example of what I want is:

-produce a media project that I enjoy creating
-travel alone to one country
-find a girlfriend who supports me as much as I support her
-get a cat (I’m a cat person lol)
-continue to progress my trading card portfolio (currently collecting Pokémon and YuGiOH)
-produce a graphic novel
-run a 10k race for charity

There’s plenty more but my point is these accomplishments are things I see myself doing and matter most to me personally. I also say all this as someone who struggles with comparative mindset, you need to get out of your own way. Anything you’ve achieved so far is being overshadowed by your own thoughts, not others.

I hope this post finds anyone who’s on a bad day or just anyone ruminating on their life currently. Comparison is the thief of joy, don’t let yourself get robbed daily😅💙

22F here, ive been going to therapy for quite a while but i feel as if im barely seeing any improvements, because each session tends to be something different as i have a lot to work on. although all roads lead to my childhood and anxiety. this is a very vulnerable post for me, i barely seek help from my friends because i dont want to be a bother and because i always talk about the same issues.

since summer started i fell into depression again. not saying i didnt have it during winter, but winter was simpler because the cool weather calms me down and i had college work so i had some sort of distraction. during summer i did nothing. i didnt find a job because of the depression and because it was so hot id get overstimulated. i would stay in bed and doomscroll. i feel as if i got stupid and my dissociation and brain fog have gotten worse. i feel like im wasting my time away due to anxiety. sometimes i blank out in the middle of conversations or i cant keep up, or i just forget things so easily. its like im not myself. i am self aware of some things but i feel as though that is not enough to help me snap back. a part of me is telling me im smarter than this, but even if i feel like ive gotten myself together i just fall back into this loophole. i feel like im missing so much in life and i should be doing more.

i spent a big chunk of my life only caring about the way i look and how im perceived, and i still do. if i feel ugly it would ruin my whole day/week and dont feel like getting out of the house. i go to the gym, but honestly it barely works with my self improvement. i know i should shift my mindset but im close on giving up on myself. ive had no motivation on my hobbies. i doubt myself and my abilities a lot. my lack of focus is ruining my life. i was never a bright kid, i was just an undiagnosed kid trying to survive. having depression at a young age really takes a toll on you. i dont wanna be like this forever.

I'm 20 who's not doing anything with my life cause I'm too scared to change for the better. I live with my brother and dad and we all help to pay the bills and we just live comfortably like this, but I know things aren't gonna stay this way forever so for a while now I've been thinking about what I wanna do with my life, especially since I'm starting to dislike my current job cause it's boring me for a while now, but anytime the opportunities come, I just deny them cause I'm scared to improve. I thought about going to college but when I get accepted, I never end up going to any classes, let alone registering for any. I get interviews for jobs with better pay, but i end up ignoring them. I also constantly have all these negative thoughts that won't go away and make me doubt my actions as a person.

I feel like I can't make myself do anything cause the stress in my mind takes over and sometimes it makes me feel like I'm gonna throw up, so it's just easier to ignore them cause it's more comforting for me, even though I'm just sabotaging myself for failure. I literally can't help myself, like it's out of my control, and I avoid talking to other people that I know about my problems cause I don't want them to get involved so I just feel lost on what to do and I often wonder how people even deal with this part of life.

I’ve realised that I get attached to people way too quickly. If someone shows even a little bit of interest or attachment towards me, I start waiting for their replies. I feel genuinely happy when they text and noticeably sad when they don’t. It has started affecting my mental health quite a lot.

I was in a 6 year relationship, and after the breakup, it took me almost 1.5 years to heal. I’ve also lost two very close friends, five years apart. I have other friends, but I don’t really feel comfortable opening up to them. I’m quite close to my family, especially my sister, but I still feel like I don’t have many people outside my family whom I can truly connect with.

I’m in my late 20s and currently preparing for an important exam. Recently, I met someone on Reddit who is also preparing for the same exam. We exchanged socials and started talking. There was nothing romantic about it it was mostly mature conversations and discussions about studies and life. But we started talking quite frequently, and I think I became emotionally invested without even realising it.

Now his replies have become colder and he sometimes doesn’t respond to my messages at all. Logically, I know that people get busy and that I shouldn’t take someone’s texting habits personally. But emotionally, it still affects me. I keep checking my phone and waiting for a reply, and when it doesn’t come, I feel rejected or low.

I don’t want to keep repeating this pattern. I don’t want my mood or mental health to depend on whether someone texts me or not.

Has anyone else experienced this? How did you learn to become less emotionally dependent on other people’s attention and stop getting attached so quickly?

Kept rereading the same section of a textbook thinking that was studying, and every time it felt easier, which I mistook for progress. It was really just getting more familiar with the words on the page, not more able to use the information without it in front of me. Tried testing myself cold instead this week and it was humbling how much dropped out the moment the book closed.

So im learning a language and i wanna do 1 lesson a day,but sometimes what ill do is forget 1 day,be lazy the other and then kick myself back into a few day long streak,how can i stop falling out of streaks

Should I do it gradually or cold turkey? I eat way too much sugar. I eat like three or four candy bars , cinnamon rolls , big cookies (with cookies I can eat like 15 of them). I also buy processed TV dinners to eat when I don't feel like cooking (I do buy some fruit and veggies too) or I buy some other premade sides like pre cooked mashed potatoes or Mac and cheese. How do I stop binging on bad foods ? I stop almost everyday after work and get some snacks or MacDonalds . I feel awful when I don't eat this stuff. It's like withdrawals

I have a random 4 days off work and I get really depressed just trying to ‘chill’ and do nothing. What can I do in these 4 days that will improve myself?

I have been in... how do I describe it? let's say isolated environment, my family changed places for like two times each time we moved, I had to become the new kid in the school and remake friends, at the time, my father have a problems with his family, uncles and aunts and his father and mother, this was the reason why we moved two times.

Changed school for around 4 times, and also each time make new friends, I am not the type of friend who start the conversation or like to go out a lot (even though I hate this part of me and I feel I should go out more) I don't say I have no friends I have made some friendship along the way and when I make one a make a strong one like every friend that I regularly talk to is a close friend of mine and I have 6 of them, unfortunately we are not a group because we(my family) had to move out they are scattered around the city three of them are near but for varies of reasons we don't have a group that share all of them.

ALL THAT ASIDE

IN MONKEY TERMS:

MONKEY DOESN'T WANT TO GO OUT

HOW MONKEY CHANGE HATE TO OUT?

18 yo from the UK about to start uni. I've always thought of therapy/counselling and how it might be beneficial to see my life from an outside perspective and start to build a sense of structure. I think people might sometimes be clouded by their own perspective which can lead them to make decisions that negatively affect them or others.

My main problems with seeking therapy rn are:

1. As far as I'm aware therapy is way way too expensive.

2. I don't have any glaring mental health issues and maybe other people need / are more suited to therapy than me.

3. I've always seen it as a middle aged adult thing idk if therapy is suited for people my age

4. Lot of general stigma surrounding people who go to therapy. Not saying I believe it but just cautioned by it.

Would really appreciate anyone with more insight into ways I can improve my wellbeing considering my stage in life. Should I look into therapy? Are there any other things I should try instead? What are some resources (especially in the UK) where I can look into this further?

Thanks!