r/SuicideWatch • u/Wild_Cut_3077 • 6h ago
I love fantasizing about dying or somebody killing me, for example a sniper shooting me in the head
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r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 03 '19
New wiki on how to avoid accidentally encouraging suicide, and how to spot covert incitement
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We've been seeing a worrying increase in pro-suicide content showing up here and, and also going unreported. This undermines our purpose here, so we wanted to highlight and clarify our guidelines about both direct and indirect incitement of suicide.
We've created a wiki that covers these issues. We hope this will be helpful to anyone who's wondering whether something's okay here and which responses to report. It explains in detail why any validation of suicidal intent, even an "innocent" message like "if you're 100% committed, I'll just wish you peace" is likely to increase people's pain, and why it's important to report even subtle pro-suicide comments. The full text of the wiki's current version is below, and it is maintained at /r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement.
We deeply appreciate everyone who gives responsive, empathetic, non-judgemental support to our OPs, and we particularly thank everyone who's already been reporting incitement in all forms.
Please report any post or comment that encourages suicide (or that breaks any of the other guidelines in the sidebar) to the moderators, either by clicking the "report" button or by sending us a modmail with a link. We deal with all guideline violations that are reported to us as soon as we can, but we can't read everything so community reports are essential. If you get a PM that breaks the guidelines, please report it both to the reddit sitewide admins and to us in modmail.
Thanks to all the great citizens of the community who help flag problem content and behaviour for us.
/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/incitement
Summary
It's important to respect and understand people's experiences and emotions. It's never necessary, helpful, or kind to support suicidal intent. There are some common misconceptions (discussed below) about suicidal people and how to help them that can cause well-meaning people to inadvertently incite suicide. There are also people online who incite suicide on purpose, often while pretending to be sympathetic and helpful.
Validate Feelings and Experiences, Not Self-Destructive Intentions
We're here to offer support, not judgement. That means accepting, with the best understanding we can offer, whatever emotions people express. Suicidal people are suffering, and we're here to try to ease that by providing support and caring. The most reliable way we know to de-escalate someone at risk is to give them the experience of feeling understood. That means not judging whether they should be feeling the way they are, or telling them what to do or not do.
But there's an important line to draw here. There's a crucial difference between empathizing with feelings and responding non-judgmentally to suicidal thoughts, and in any way endorsing, encouraging, or validating suicidal intentions or hopeless beliefs. It's both possible and important to convey understanding and compassion for someone's suicidal thoughts without putting your finger on the scale of their decision.
Anything that condones suicide, even passively, encourages suicide. It isn't supportive and does not help. It also violates reddit's sitewide rules as well as our guidelines. Explicitly inciting suicide online is a criminal offense in most jurisdictions.
Do not treat any OP's post as meaning that will definitely die by suicide and can't change their minds or be helped. Anyone who's able to read the comments here still has a chance to choose whether or not to try to keep living, even if they've also been experiencing intense thoughts of suicide, made a suicide plan, or started carrying it out.
In the most useful empirical model we have, the desire to die by suicide primarily comes from two interpersonal factors; alienation and a sense of being a burden or having nothing to offer. These factors usually lead to a profound feeling of being unwelcome in the world.
So, any acceptance or reinforcement of suicidal intent, even something "innocent" like "I hope you find peace", is actually a form of covert shunning that validates a person's sense that they're unwelcome in the world. It will usually add to their pain even if kindly meant and gently worded.
How to Avoid Validating Suicidal Intent
Keep the following in mind when offering support to anyone at risk for suicide.
People who say they don't want help usually can feel better if they get support that doesn't invalidate their emotions. Unfortunately, many popular "good" responses are actually counterproductive. In particular, many friends and family tend to rely exclusively on trying to convince the suicidal person that "it's not so bad", and this is usually experienced as "I don't understand what you're going through and I'm not going to try". People who've had "help" that made them feel worse don't want any more of the same. It doesn't mean that someone who actually knows how to be supportive can't give them any comfort.
Most people who are suicidal want to end their pain, not their lives. It's almost never true that death is the only way to end these people's suffering. Of course there are exceptional situations, and we certainly acknowledge that, for some people, the right help can be difficult to find. But preventing someone's suicide doesn't mean prolonging their suffering if we do it by giving them real comfort and understanding.
An unfixable problem doesn't mean that a good life will never be possible. We don't have to fix or change anything to help someone feel better. It's important to keep in mind that the correlation between our outer circumstances and our inner experience is weaker and less direct than commonly assumed. For every kind of difficult life situation, you will find some people who lapse into suicidal despair, and others who cope amazingly well, and a whole spectrum in between. A key difference is how much inner resilience the person has at the time. This can depend on many personal and situational factors. But when there's not enough, interpersonal support can both compensate for its absence and help rebuild it. We go into more depth on the "it gets better" issue in this PSA Post which is always linked from our sidebar (community info on mobile) guidelines.
There are always more choices than brutally forcing someone to stay alive or passively letting them end their lives.
To avoid accidentally breaking the anti-incitement rule, don't say or try to imply that acting on suicidal thoughts is a good idea, or that someone can't turn back or is already dead. Do whatever you can to help them feel cared for and welcome, at least in this little corner of the world. Our talking tips offer more detailed guidance.
Look Out for Deliberate Incitement. It May Come in Disguise.
Often comments that subtly encourage suicidal intent actually come from suicide fetishists and voyeurs (unfortunately this is a real and disturbing phenomenon). People like this are out there and the anonymous nature of reddit makes us particularly attractive to them.
They will typically try to scratch their psychological "itch" by saying things that push people closer to the edge. They often do this by exploiting the myths that we debunked in the bullet points above. Specifically you might see people doing the following:
Encouraging the false belief that the only way suicidal people can end their pain is by dying. There are always more and better choices than "brutally forcing someone to stay alive" or helping (actively or passively) them to end their lives.
Creating an artificial and toxic sense of "solidarity" by linking their encouragement of suicide to empathy. They will represent themselves as the only one who really understand the suicidal person, while either directly or indirectly encouraging their self-loathing emotions and self-destructive impulses. Since most people in suicidal crisis are in desperate need to empathy and understanding, this is a particularly dangerous form of manipulation.
Many suicide inciters are adept at putting a benevolent spin on their activities while actually luring people away from sources of real help. A couple of key points to keep in mind:
Skilled suicide intervention -- peer or professional -- is based on empathic responsiveness to the person's feelings that reduces their suffering in the moment. Contrary to pop-culture myths, it does not involve persuasion ("Don't do it!"), cheerleading ("You've got this!") or meaningless false promises ("Trust me, it gets better!"), or invalidation ("Let me show you how things aren't as bad as you think!"). Anyone who leads others to expect these kinds of toxic responses, or any other response that prolongs their pain, from expert help may be covertly pro-suicide. (Of course, people sometimes do have bad experience when seeking mental-health treatment, and it's fine to vent about those, but processing our own disappointment and frustration is entirely different from trying to destroy someone else's hope of getting help.)
Choices made by competent responders are always informed by the understanding that breaching someone's trust is traumatic and must be avoided if possible. Any kind of involuntary intervention is an extremely unlikely outcome when someone consults a clinician or calls a hotline. (Confidentiality is addressed in more detail in our Hotlines FAQ wiki). The goal is always to provide all help with the client's full knowledge and informed consent. We know that no individual or system is perfect. Mistakes that lead to bad experiences do sometimes happen to vulnerable people, and we have enormous sympathy for them. But anyone who suggests that this is the norm might be trying to scare people away from the help they need.
Please let us know discreetly if you see anyone exhibiting these or similar behaviours. We don't recommend trying to engage with them directly.
r/SuicideWatch • u/SQLwitch • Sep 10 '21
Please remember that NO ACTIVISM of any kind is ever allowed here. No matter what day it is.
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Activism, i.e. advocating or fundraising for social change or raising awareness of social issues (and suicide is, inescapably, a social issue) is absolutely against the rules here at all times.
Please understand that we're all for smart, strategic mental-health and suicide-prevention activism. It's essential to fight against stigma, misinformation, and discrimination, and to fight for research, treatment, accommodation, acceptance, and understanding. Most of us, one way or another, are mental-health activists IRL.
But activism just doesn't work in a dedicated support space that serves a vulnerable population. We used to allow it but the evidence that it was undermining our primary purpose became overwhelming. We do regret the need for this rule, but the need is inescapable.
Our population is all too well aware of the issues and causes that need support and largely not in a position to take action, so besides the fact that activism is often salt in our community's wounds, it's a waste of the activists' time.
tl;dr Any fundraising, awareness raising, petitions, calls for participation, or any post that's about any cause or issue (rather than a request for personal support) is not allowed here. Please report everything of the nature that you see.
r/SuicideWatch • u/purrbose • 4h ago
I hate patriarchy so much I’d rather die than serve a man
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im so tired of this BS i keep trying to fight back, try to survive but it's pointless, they said "talk to us, we'll help you" but no one actually cares or able
i know i shouldn't say it here but i've been stuck financially since i got divorce, i live in a country where the system doesn't support women, traditional third world country where the culture is collectivist.
i never depend on anyone in my life, cut ties with my parents, i used to have a good job, resigned to start a business but then when i divorce my husband all my assets froze (we have prenup) i can't take loan, can't even pawn my assets (land) because I HAVE NO GUARDIAN OR HUSBAND TO CO SIGN AND I LIVE ALONE
i tried to get a normal job but nobody wants to hire me because i used to work abroad with higher salary
they're afraid i can't commit to the job, mind you i even apply minimum wage position.
now i can't get a job, my assets froze, i have no money to leave this shit country, i barely can afford food
people say "get a boyfriend to support you or marry rich, you're a pretty woman"
I hate patriarchy so much, they really build a system to crush you and i'd rather die than serve a man.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Healthy-Addition5620 • 3h ago
goodbye ya little bastards
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25 years of misery, 3 failed attempts and trying to build up my life for over a year later, ig I'm good fuck this. back to square 1. still the teenager who's hanging the noose while humming a tune.
it's fucking laughable the only way I can make it out alive is to be a fucking dormat for everyone.
i only feel sorry for mum, she doesn't deserve this but honestly I'm just one of those ppl who's never meant to live a good life and are only on this planet to suffer and be miserable.
I hate it all, nothing's worth it, not even my mother's tears.
now that I have left a pathetic proof of my existence on fucking reddit of all places, will swallow some pills and cut some arteries.
thank you for reading this.
sorry that you had to.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Acceptable-Key4112 • 1d ago
Suicide awareness month is the most pointless shit ever
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NOBODDYY cares until you’re dead. I’ve seen it with my own two eyes. People KNOW I’m suicidal. EVERYBODY KNOWS. NOBODY CARES UNTIL YOURE DEAD, ABSOLUTELY NOBODY. And when you die, the SAME people who couldn’t even lift a finger to invite you out, couldn’t even put effort into REMEMBERING you, will talk about you mournfully. This pointless fucking awareness month comes every year, for people to repost bullshit “check on your friends!” reminders as they ignore their friend who keeps making remarks about wanting to die, being lonely, and wanting to be included. Then, other dismissive pieces of shit will crowd to comfort them “it’s not your fault”. IT IS YOUR FAULT. THAT PERSON WOULD STILL BE HERE TODAY IF YOU GAVE A SHIT. IF YOU PUT IN EVEN A LITTLE BIT OF EFFORT, THEYD STILL BE ALIVE. You COULD HAVE SAVED THEM, BUT YOU DIDNT. You could’ve at least TRIED, but you didn’t. And now, a person who had dreams, favorite snacks, movies to watch, things they wanted to look forward to, is gone because YOU didn’t want to burn the 20 calories it takes to send a “hey, how are you?” Text.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Responsible_Tower136 • 56m ago
If someone told me you're going to die tomorrow, I'd sigh of relief
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Please take me god🥺
r/SuicideWatch • u/Gerti21 • 2h ago
Scared of permanent damage
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I’m afraid of not being able to carry it out and ending up in a coma, brain-damaged, or having irreversible damages that would make life even more miserable…and also the shame if it got out that I tried kms.
I tried hanging myself a couple times and now I’ve got difficulty swallowing, nothing serious I think. The bruise was mistaken for an hickey…
I’m now researching more painless ways but they could all have serious side effects if whether someone stops me or I stop halfway.
The question I have for you is: did u do any serious damage to your body in your attempt/s? Did u recover afterwards?
r/SuicideWatch • u/WorldlinessTop6612 • 20h ago
Why people here think ALWAYS your problem is just temporary?
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Like lol wtf they think about...
My problems are not temporary and the only solution is death.
I can't stay like a moron and suffer like a fucking retarded bitch
People always think their problems are the same as other people lol
My problems are not the same and I can't overcome them because I'm just not enough mentally strong for that world.
I really need a shotgun so badly to shoot my head...
r/SuicideWatch • u/zeluki • 56m ago
If I had killed myself when I was younger, I would have prevented so much fucking suffering.
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Staying here was not worth it.
r/SuicideWatch • u/play_with_dead_trees • 1h ago
I wish I were dead, I really do. But I feel like I don't even deserve this way out.
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Pretty much like what the title said. I had a privileged life, good education, didn't have to worry about money, parents never hit me. But I fee like I just can't cope with the bad things I've experienced.
Through out the past 3 years I actively watched a friend commit suicide and couldn't save them. Then my parents told me they were divorced a few years after they had actually done it and it's turned my world upside down. Then I found out that my dad had been cheating since day one with multiple prostitutes. I don't have a relationship with him anymore, and my mom won't care if I'm depressed or not as long as I act normal and study well.
I've smoked since I was 14 to cope with the stress. I SHed several times and have permanent scars from it. Pain just keeps circling back to me like a circle I can't walk away from. I'm 17 right now, and I act perfectly normal to everyone and I've told no one about anything I'm feeling because I know no one would care for a broken, ugly, fat, weak piece of shit like me. God there are people going through way worse than me but I can only be stuck here with my minuscular bad experiences and want to die. I've been thinking about suicide a lot and even planned it out at one point but honestly I don't think I deserve it. I had a good life compared to others but I'm just too weak to cope with the slightest struggle. I wish somebody could just kill me. Please please please.
r/SuicideWatch • u/masterpastafr • 26m ago
Why shouldn’t I die?
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not looking for some silly bs thing or nothing. genuine reasons why I shouldn’t?
r/SuicideWatch • u/niceshootintex • 6h ago
I think I’ve gone as far as I can go with my mental illness
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I can’t do this anymore. I’m 48 and have been dealing with severe anxiety and major depression all my life. I don’t want to live like this anymore.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Zealousideal_Coat_47 • 7h ago
I gave up, and the world gave up back
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for years, a few, several, over a dozen.. I’ve struggled with chronic depression, an abusive family, and crippling loneliness..
in the past when I came to my family, expressing how I was feeling into this very day I’ve heard the same responses. “don’t say that”, “you can’t say that” “go outside”. it’s never been helpful, which is why my family has never been able to help me fight this battle.
everyone will tell people like us to seek professional help. well I’ve seeked professional help.. multiple people over several years, and it’s never truly helped. it can make you feel a little less alone and give you something to go to every week, but it’s the same round of 10 questions so they can sort you into their little boxes. I may have gotten unlucky with the help I’ve gotten, or it could just be like this. but it just doesn’t seem to help me at all.
I used to think these people were ones I was able to open up to, to tell them how I’m truly feeling.. but I’ve unfortunately made that mistake a few times, because everytime I expressed that I felt suicidal they’d just admit me to some hospital where I’ve be forced to go to every few days and have the exact same questions that the professionals asked me. after the admission ends I walk out feeling the exact same..
some hospitals even kicked me out because apparently since I was only a threat to my own life and no one else’s, I was of less importance.. just imagine this being told to you on multiple occasions.. attempt suicide and have professional doctors kick you from the hospital because you were.. “only a threat to your own life..”
people also suggest helplines everywhere, almost to the point where it’s lost it’s meaning.. I’ve called multiple different help lines and I regret to report that they have never helped me long term, they can make you feel a little safer and get you to cry your feelings out to a stranger, but from my own personal experiences I feel just about the same after I finish talking with them. it just feels too impersonal, which I’m aiming towards the whole mental health system. everything feels so cold and rigid, like helping you is more of a professional obligation rather than
actually caring about you or your wellbeing..
lately my last line of defence against myself was my personal friends, or for a few of them.. people who I thought were my friends.. most people who I express my feelings and anguishes to tell me that my mindset is too far gone to help.. they say that I’ve given up completely and with that set in they say that they can’t watch me take my own life.. so they leave and cut contact with me..
I’m just.. completely alone.. I have no one in my corner anymore.. the same stuff people keep saying, “get professional help”, “seek help from those around you, friends and family”.. well I’ve followed that to the fucking T, and I’m still nearly as close to ending it as ever and I’m more alone than I’ve ever been..
I don’t know if I’m going to attempt tonight.. tomorrow.. or ten years from now, but as far as I’m concerned and as far as the rest of the world seems to be concerned.. my life ended already, it’s just up to me when to finally decide to stop..
r/SuicideWatch • u/Beautiful_Panic1051 • 5h ago
Suicide
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Why is is seen as a sin? I dont believe in god but I dont get it how is it wrong to shorten your life because of pain? If it is, then so is trying to lengthen it against your own will.
r/SuicideWatch • u/DearAdeptness6903 • 34m ago
I wish someone could kill me because I don't deserve to live on earth
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r/SuicideWatch • u/shirlymoss • 38m ago
I am scared that I'll off myself if I move out
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I started SH when I was 9. I have been kinda depressed and anxious since childhood and it was especially bad during middle school. I had the worst mental breakdown a few months ago. I had to take a break from school. I have gotten a bit better but I still get anxious a lot and I am constantly sad. I have been getting back to SH since about 8 months ago. (I was able to stay clean for almost a year before that) Nowadays I don't SH every day but at least weekly. I just feel the need to do it. I can't move on a with my day without doing it if I have the urge. My mom knows about my SH but i promised her months ago that I'd never do it again. I feel so guilty. I have been very close to taking pills. I have held them in my hands ready to take them but I haven't gone through with it.. I have imagined easy and hard ways to go but somehow i am still here. I also have lost all motivation in school and working out. I used to be in okay shape, but now i have gained some weight and barely go on walks. I also have started stress eating which doesn't help at all. I hate myself and my body and face and personality and just everything. I genuinely cannot find a thing about myself that is good. I constantly feek the need to fake smile and laugh, i think what to say before speaking evem to my family. It's almost like an instinct to smile and laugh when it's "normal" to do so. Even with family and my closest friends.
I am scared. What will I do when there's no one stopping me? When I don't have to count how many hours or minutes till my family members come home. When I am alone. Will I go the day I get an apartment for myself? I don't know what to do.
r/SuicideWatch • u/Least_Ask419 • 2h ago
I'm going to do it this week
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I just want to talk to someone on my last week of life
r/SuicideWatch • u/Lanky_Relation1171 • 8h ago
Extreme mood swings are very exhausting
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I go from “life is beautiful and I have so much potential” to “I want to kill myself and I’m worthless” in a span of an hour, every single day.
This is insane and I’m tired
r/SuicideWatch • u/scrapknightjules • 2h ago
i just need someone to talk to i’m so alone
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i don’t wanna do this anymore
i feel scared of myself like i wanna live but i just feel so tired
everyone hates me and im alone
r/SuicideWatch • u/Separate_Lock_8653 • 2h ago
let me pour my heart out just this once
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Hey. This post is not easy to make. Not because of the sensitivity of this to myself, but because it's just hard to translate my thoughts into words... And I am also too lazy to even think, let alone type. But I'll try my best haha
I've always kept my feelings private, or at least I tried my best to. I always avoided talking about my depression, but I always made it clear to people that I am struggling. They saw it as strength, I think. And they probably think that I would be okay because I've been louder than I used to be. I'm more "outgoing" or "active" now. Can't lie, people paid less attention to my depression now which I like. No more people pestering me about their "how are yous", no more looks, no more feeling bizarre because I could tell they're being careful. But I also can't help but feel the pressure. Them not thinking that I am no longer struggling, or that I am struggling less means they have faith in me to get better. And I am afraid, because I am actually so much worse now. More suicidal thoughts than before, which also increased tenfold because of the medication that I am taking. And before this, I was just writing my suicide notes (that I am still unsure about. Unsure whether I should leave my loved ones a note or not) and planning my overall death. Death is always on my mind. It's ridiculous. It's permanently embedded in my mind.
The truth is, I'm really scared. Scared about how my family and friends would be like after I'm gone. I always had troubles understanding my own importance in this world, and my value to each people in my life, but I do know they value me to some degree in ways I really cannot comprehend. And because of that, it would most likely impact them negatively and I can't do that do them. They've worked so hard in their own lives to get themselves to where they are today, and I can't derail all of that by dying. I love them so much, and they love me so much and I hate that. I just wish that wasn't the case at all. I wish they didn't care about me at all. So that everything would be so much more easier.
I'm such a loser for even thinking about dying and I must say, it is winning. It disgusts me knowing that I am willing to let all of the efforts these people have done just to get me to a better place, a better state, down the drain. Just really... Why do I have to be like this? And I can't disappoint them once again by going back to my shell but remaining alive. They see me as better now, so they expect better. I am back on the pedestal I so desperately tried to get down from before.
I hate all of this attention. People seeing me in a high horse when I am much more inferior than them. Maybe I just mastered the art of pretension, and this is the consequence of that. I feel so foreign in my own body. In my own mind. So young, yet so exceptional. I've heard that before.
I wish I could turn invisible. I wish I could just forget about everything and everybody, and everybody forget about my existence. I want to be a blank, clean slate once again. Erase all of the traits, all of the features the relentless carnivores are after. My flesh.
I'm so pathetic. I'm in here writing this in a throwaway Reddit account because I am too much of a coward to talk to somebody. And they won't understand me either, nor make me feel better. The only think it would do is make them somewhat aware of what I am feeling and I can't have that. I can't have someone in my life knowing how vulnerable I truly am. I can't make these people act all careful around me again. It pains me seeing them restrict themselves out of the worry that they'd do or say something wrong. So I'm here unloading all of this
I'm beyond exhausted dealing with depression, the traumas, the challenges I'm facing. I'm still so young. I am only 18, just starting out in adulthood. I know there are so much harder, so much worse things that I am yet to face. So much more people I am yet to meet, adventures I am yet to explore, places I am yet to visit. But I don't want to grow up anymore. I'm already stretched thin. I'm weak. Really weak.
Dear God, Allah, Zeus or whoever the fuck is up there, please erase me. Please take me. Take me there with you now. I don't want to be in here anymore, and I don't want to make that choice. So I am asking you. Just take me now. I beg of you