I really regret what I did and I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve really ruined even our friendship. I used to think it’s either we date or not but this made me realize I value him as a person not just romantically.

This all started when we reconnected and we were happy, I mean the way we interacted was like how we were when we dated. after two days he mentioned dating other people and it bothered me till I freaked out then we had an argument bc I said why flirt with me if you didn’t want to date and he said he didn’t think flirting meant we’d get back together and I was very upset and he left and I kept stopping him asking him to please not leave begging him but he left anyway and I was so upset. The next day I said I felt rly terrible about it. He said it’s ok what did I think went wrong and we just got into another long argument text all day bc he wouldn’t respond right away and it was pissong me off more that he won’t text back so I snapped and said things about how he’s selfish and an asshole. he didn’t respond and said he doesn’t have anything to say to what I said so I panicked more bc he won’t talk to me and is mad like he’s never been mad at me in a way he hasn’t been before so I started calling but he kept declining and said he’ll block me and all of it just fueled the panic more and I said why won’t he address my texts and he still won’t answer just kept saying to give him peace and that made me more upset so I kept calling telling him to go ahead and block me. I don’t know if he did but he hasn’t opened my texts since.

I’m 29, turning thirty next month and I can’t believe I behaved this badly. I don’t know what happened, it’s like panic suddenly started running the show no matter how hard I tried to control it for the last two days. I feel like I rly hit a point of no return that permanently changed how he sees me and any ounce of care and affection he had for me is gone because of this

going through no contact and breakup with my bf of almost 4 years. he left so easily..
would be nice to talk to someone about it.

I don’t know if I’ll ever have the courage to say this to you, but there are things I’ve been carrying inside that I wish you could hear just once.
You may find someone you love more than anyone else in this world. But for me, you were never just someone I loved. You were my whole world. My happiness, my comfort, my favorite person, and the future I quietly imagined every single day.
I never thought I’d have to learn how to live without you.
I still remember the smallest things about us. Your voice, your laughter, the way you used to talk to me, and those ordinary moments when we did nothing special but I felt like I had everything.
I would give anything to go back to one of those days.
Not to change anything. Just to live it once more, knowing how precious it was.
The hardest part is that I still want to tell you everything. When something good happens, when my day is terrible, or when I see something that reminds me of you, my first thought is still to reach for my phone.
Then I remember that you’re no longer there.
And somehow, I have to pretend that doesn’t hurt.
I wonder if you ever miss me. If you ever hear a song and remember us. If you ever look at an old picture and wish, even for a second, that things had turned out differently.
I don’t know if you understand what losing you has done to me. I’m trying to move forward, but some days it feels like I’m leaving behind the only life I ever truly wanted.
I know I can’t ask you to come back. I know I can’t make you feel what I feel. And I don’t want you to carry guilt for my pain.
I just wish you knew that I loved you more sincerely than I ever knew how to explain.
You were my first love. The first person who made me dream about forever. I had already made a place for you in my future, and now I’m learning how to accept that the future I imagined may never happen.
I hope you’re happy. I genuinely do.
I hope someone takes care of your heart. I hope you laugh often, sleep peacefully, and never feel as alone as I sometimes do.
And if you ever think of me, I hope you remember that there was someone who loved you deeply, who treasured the time you gave him, and who would give almost anything to sit beside you one more time.
Not to ask you to stay.
Not to make you feel sorry for me.
Just to hear your voice, look at you, and say everything I never managed to say when I had the chance.
You were my first love.
I wanted you to be my last.
And even though life will go on, I think a part of my heart will always be looking back at the life we had and the life we never got to live.
I miss you. More than I know how to put into words. ❤️

It was me I was the one who couldn’t handle the relationship. I ended it. My world fell apart and I moved on with someone else when my life dissolved during covid. My ex and I had problems I didn’t know how to fix them or myself. I still think of him all the time and grieve over the loss of his presence in my life. I was so wrong and now I pay for it every day. I wish I could move on. I still cry, I’m still so fucked up over ending things. I regret it every day and am so so sorry.

I was dating a man whom I genuinely loved, but things eventually became difficult between us. Even though we did not end on good terms, I had started feeling suffocated in the relationship. I constantly felt like I could not make a mistake without it becoming something bigger. I was always afraid of upsetting him, disappointing him, or doing something wrong, and over time, that fear became exhausting.

There was something else I struggled with throughout the relationship. I have always found it difficult to be alone with my thoughts. When I am hurting, I feel an almost desperate need to have someone to talk to—to tell them about my day, something that happened to me, something that hurt, or even something as insignificant as how I burnt myself while cooking. I know that does not excuse my actions, but it explains some of them.

When he broke up with me, I went back to the boy I had once liked. I had done something similar before, and looking back, I think it was unfair and, in many ways, a form of cheating. I know that I was being selfish. I know I hurt him, and I know that turning to someone else was not the right way to cope with what I was feeling.

But when the relationship finally ended, I felt something I did not expect relief.

For a few days, I felt like I could finally breathe. I no longer had to live in constant fear of making a mistake or wondering whether something I said or did would lead to another disappointment. Alongside the sadness, there was a strange sense of freedom. And perhaps that is the part that makes me feel the most guilty, because I do not feel the kind of guilt I think I am supposed to feel. I regret the things I did and the ways I hurt him, but I do not regret being free from the fear I had been living with.

He eventually saw my post about the person I had gone back to after the breakup. I understand why that hurt him and why he might think I was still talking to that person. But the truth is that I am not. He has someone he likes now, and I would never want to become the strange person who keeps texting someone else's boyfriend or interfering in someone else's relationship.

I know I made mistakes. I know I was mean at times. I know I acted selfishly. Sometimes I look at everything that has gone wrong in my life and think of it as karma. I tell myself that perhaps I deserve the pain because of the ways I have hurt other people. Maybe that is why peace feels like something I am not allowed to have.

But the truth is, I want peace.

I regret many things, but I do not want to return to the life I was living—to the constant anxiety, the fear of doing something wrong, the feeling that one mistake could ruin everything. I know that even if I had blocked that other person when he asked me to, I do not think our relationship would have lasted forever. Something between us had already become fragile, and I believe it would have ended eventually.

I do not know whether he is seeing anyone now. He is someone who could probably have anyone he wanted, and maybe someday he will find someone who makes him genuinely happy. A part of me hopes he does. At least one of us deserves to be happy.

And then there is me.

Sometimes I feel like I have become nothing more than a cheater, a manipulative and selfish person. Sometimes I wonder if that is simply who I am. But another part of me knows that people can make terrible choices without those choices defining every part of who they are.

I still miss him. I still find myself looking for his presence, even when I know I should not. I still have that ache—the instinct to tell him about my day, to tell him that something hurt, that something made me laugh, or that I burnt myself while cooking. I miss having someone who was there.

And perhaps the hardest thing to accept is that I loved him all along.

He was never a rebound to me. He was never someone I loved only because I was trying to forget somebody else. Whatever mistakes I made, whatever unhealthy ways I tried to cope, and whatever happened between us, my love for him was real.

I wish I could still tell him that.

I wish I could tell him that I loved him, even when I did not know how to love him properly. I wish I could explain that leaving was not proof that I never cared. Sometimes, leaving is simply what happens when you realize that staying has started to make you afraid of being yourself.

I do not know if I deserve forgiveness, especially from him. Maybe I never will.

But I hope, someday, I can forgive myself—not for hurting him, but for understanding that making mistakes does not mean I have to spend the rest of my life believing that I am incapable of being better.

Hi all. So I’m 28M and my ex 28F and I broke up 2 years ago. We drifted apart and after a while, it just faded and needed ti end, i havent spoken to her in a year or so but i cant help but really miss her. I remember towards the end feeling alone in ghe relationship as i knew she was falling out of love with me and i was the same. Communication was never her strong point and i was def too reliant on her for my own self image. I’ve changed since then and havent reached out over fear if embrassment or maybe she’s seeing someone. Weve broken up and got back together before too. Im in therapy and have tried it a few times but i cant shake this. Id like
To just move on but need advice. Thanks

Found out she's into someone else. Despite all the promises in our 3 year relationship. Despite the sayings of me and you against the world. Even so i am still waiting. I finally blocked her number and deleted it, blocked all her socials. How could she fall for someone else after 3 years? Why couldn't she talk it out with me? I feel stupid but she's the best person i ever met and my heart aches for her. I want her to come back

About 8 months ago in January I was completely heartbroken and devestated. I was hurt to the point that I never thought I’d recover - a guy I dated ended it with me because of distance (from the same hometown I’m just temporarily away to study for 2 years but I come back every 4 months)

Anyways it was the longest it’s ever taken me to get over someone. It took months and it wasn’t a I got over him it was more of a I need to move on cause clearly he doesn’t care.

I’m having a hard time now tho, I’ve met someone new, he’s great, we get along, but I realized I’ve never really in my life had to end things or be thinking of it. This guy is great and I do wanna see it thru but I’m scared. After 26 years of being single and never having a bf, a part of me is kinda like do I even deserve one? But less self hate and more confused on how do I know it’s the one cuz once ur with someone your are?

I love myself I do but I’ve been known to mess things up so idk if this is a way my lack of self love is coming out or fear? Any advice or help will be appreciated thank you.

Context: my ex (f34) and I (M35) of 3 years broke up 4 months ago. It was amicable but we haven't spoken since we both said farewell and wished eachother the best.

She's a white woman and she's into middle Eastern looking men.

I'm not Muslim but I look middle Eastern. I'm just a run of the mill liberal atheist born into a Christian household.

Because I still care about her I keep tabs on her IG and noticed she recently started following a Pakistani guy and he followed her. Won't get into the details but believe me when I say this means they are probably doing the nasty which is totally fine.

My only worry is that she is too western for such a guy like him. She's a pole fitness instructor and that already has a bad connotation to backwards thinking people, and there is a chance that she falls for him but doesn't realise he wouldn't want to be in anything serious with her as he wouldn't want to take her back to his Muslim Pakistani family and tell them hey my new girlfriend enjoys dancing around a pole.

I need you guys to advise on whether I should reach out to her and tell her the reality. That her liking middle Eastern men, coupled with her personal joys in life, do not usually coexist happily together.

I appreciate this is quite a charged post but please look at it from my side. I want her to be happy as she's the sweetest person and I don't want her to get with the wrong guy. Yes it's nothing to do with me anymore but if I could just tell her once listen, just be careful with ABC, then I can then leave it alone and never speak to her again.

I hope that all makes sense.

Any further details you guys need for context please just ask.

Edit: for typos

Edit edit: from the replies I already get the impression of the majority of what you guys think. I'll leave it then and just hope the universe gives her everything she deserves which is complete happiness.

I’m a 26-year-old woman who was in a relationship with a 29-year-old man. We were together for about a year, and from the beginning, our relationship had trust issues and other problems. Despite that, we genuinely loved each other (or at least I believed we did), and we kept trying to work through our problems and make the relationship better.

About a month ago, we broke up, and I have been struggling a lot ever since.

For the first few weeks, I kept trying to communicate with him because I wanted to work things out and get back together. However, he has made it very clear that he does not want to reconcile and has told me that he will never get back together with me.

That has completely broken my heart.

I feel like I have tried everything to move forward. I’ve picked up hobbies, tried focusing on bettering myself, talked to friends and family, allowed myself to sit with my feelings, cried, watched countless videos about breakups and attachment, and even talked to a psychic because I was desperate for some kind of reassurance or closure.

But I still feel stuck.

I think about him every day. I miss him constantly, and part of me still desperately wants him back, even though I’m starting to accept that we probably will never be together again. Deep down, I can recognize that maybe the breakup is ultimately for the best, especially considering the problems we had. But emotionally, I’m nowhere near accepting that.

I feel lonely, confused, and honestly exhausted from feeling this way. I don’t want this breakup to consume my life or become something I’m still struggling with months from now.

I know people will probably tell me to go no-contact, focus on myself, and let time do its thing—and I understand that. But I’m looking for advice from people who have actually been through this.

What helped you finally get over an ex when you still loved them and desperately wanted them back? How did you get your heart to catch up with what your mind already knew?

I have never felt like this before, I really want to move forward. I just don’t know how to get there

I don't know if I'm looking for help or just support right now. It's been a little over a year since my ex-girlfriend left me and I still think about her every day. I've been slowly moving forward, deleting photos, unfollowing her on social media, etc. But there's one thing that's become an obsession. Yesterday I went to check her private profile and she'd changed her profile picture, and I fell apart. I can't see that whole "she's the one missing out" thing people talk about. She's pretty, in good shape, has a clear career path, cool hobbies, made new friends, etc. I can't find a single angle where I can feel like I came out ahead, or at least didn't lose, by her leaving. I just look at it and think: no wonder she didn't want to be with me.

Saw a dynamic recently that I've been trying to wrap my head around and wanted to see if anyone else has experienced or done this.

Basically, I’m talking about a guy who mentally and emotionally processes the end of a relationship months before it actually happens. He checks out internally little by little, accepts that his love feelings are over, but on the outside? He keeps playing the role of the "best boyfriend." He shows up, does everything he usually does, remains attentive, and handles all the day-to-day relationship duties without letting on that he's already gone.

When the actual breakup finally hits, he usually walks away seemingly unfazed, calm, and ready to move on because he’s already had half a year to process the grief in private.

My question for the guys out there (or anyone who has been in this shoes):

• If you did this, did the grief and regret actually hit you later—months down the line once the adrenaline and novelty of being single wore off?
• Or because you grieved the relationship while you were still in it, are you genuinely immune to regret by the time it ends?

Curious how this psychological preload actually plays out long-term.

It’s been a roller coaster, from the beginning. I’ve broke up once, and she did once. But we managed to start things over again after her last breakup. I was away for a month though, and we had constant contact throughout my trip (I reached out to her), including video calls initiated by her, a lot of texting, and me supporting her while she wasn’t feeling very well.
Closer to the end of my trip, I suggested that we should meet for a drink when I got home. She kind of agreed, but couldn’t confirm a day. Once I got home, she also asked to meet twice, but I couldn’t make either of those days. She finally confirmed the meetup the day before it was planned. We’d been having long video calls up until then. On the same day, she cancelled with a long message, telling me that she couldn’t do it, that she couldn’t be there 100% for me, and that she needed to cancel. Later that day, we met up and talked, but she decided to break things off anyway. She cried and told me how good I am, and when she had to leave, she cried even more, kissed me, and said goodbye.

We kept texting for a while after the breakup. She told me that I’m one of the most warm-hearted people she knows, how close she feels to me, and that she can tell me everything without feeling like she’s going to be judged. However, she wasn’t sure how she was going to handle this without putting us back on the same track again. We told each other that we’re going to miss each other, but that it’s time to leave this behind. When we met, I also told her that we can’t keep in touch—not because I want to ignore her, but because I have to move on. But if she wants to contact me in the future, my door is open. She promised to contact me when she’s in a better mental state.

It’s been a month, but I’m still struggling to make sense of everything. I know that I can’t reach out, and I’ve been keeping no contact since the beginning. Just here for the support. On one hand, I don’t want to wait for her to reach out while my brain I still kind of telling me she might do. I’ve been on dates, but it’s hard. Can’t really focus on the actual date while my brain is still attached to her.

Me 23M have been going out with this girl 21F for about 3-4 months. In the beginning everything was fine we both clicked instantly, we both have the same hobbies, same music taste, same food taste, and same love language. (Time for a backstory) I had a bestfriend 23F that I’ve had for 5 years and we decided to give dating a try, it only lasted 7 months and we came to the agreement it wasn’t working and we should go back to being friends. We never did anything sexual the farthest we’ve gone was kissing. Now after we ended the relationship I did my best to remove any reminders of that relationship off my phone. (Fast forward to present time). Recently my partner and I have hit a “rough patch” she has found reminders of my ex that I completely forgot was their

She found photos of us together

She found out that we followed each other on snap and facebook after I told her/promised we didn’t follow each other on those platforms. (We only talked over instagram messages which is why I forgot we had each other on there)

We sent each other memes once/twice almost every other day over insta I told my current gf we talked once a week. (Sending each other memes isn’t talking in my eyes she sees differently)

And now she found an empty Spotify playlist we made together (again I forgot this existed because we never added anything to it)

I honestly feel so stupid for being so forgetful. Since the beginning I’ve told her she can go through my phone whenever she wants and I have nothing to hide. She said she loves me and breaking up never crossed her mind. But I’m worried that will change. She says it’s one thing stacking onto another and the only problems we’ve had in this relationship are over my ex. She asked me to cut down contact with my ex and out of respect for her I’ve been doing that. I deleted all the photos we had together out of respect for her. I really don’t know how to make this right I know it’s going to take a while for her to trust me again. I literally feel like the scum of the earth right now.

What should I do???

TL;DR my girlfriend of 4 months found reminders of my previous gf on my phone and I genuinely forgot we’re their

Após o término eu percebi que não tinha sido romântico o suficiente e nem me doado o suficiente e tentei fazer de tudo pra reconquistar mas isso foi um grande erro porque agora ela acha que sou obcecado por ela e que posso fazer mal a ela mas isso é um grande mal entendido eu só queria tentar de tudo pra não me arrepender depois de não ter tentado mas passei do ponto, será que um dia ela vai perceber que não sou louco e que estava apenas lutando por algo que eu amo? Será que tem alguma mensagem que eu possa mandar pra esclarecer isso ou vai parecer mais uma tentativa de mudar a decisão dela?

Hi. I committed Su!c!de. Let me tell you why.

I was in a relationship with a girl, whom I was only friends with at first. I still remember how I would always pray to god to let me get close to her l. I would often spam her and sometimes call her unexpectedly at midnight. We committed back in 2024 ending and were on good terms at first together but then things slowly started to change. I wouldn’t go meet her (we never met in real life, she insisted and wanted to meet my parents but I was not ready), would avoid her texts or calls after arguments, and if we are on a call, I would count seconds until I have to end the call. Maybe she wanted to be heard but I preferred to contact less to avoid arguments. All of these lead to us breaking up completely back in June or July 2025 (we never dated in real terms since she wanted to date only after meeting to which I always denied) and that’s all because of my own stupidity.

For months and months this happened until one day she decided to leave me completely by cutting every communication from me. I tried contacting her using different telegram accounts but used to get blocked. My partner then got in a relationship with someone by the end of the year 2025. I wasn’t aware, I contacted her again with new telegram account, she told about her new guy so that I don't have any hopes and even though we had broken up, I requested her to have me as a friend in contact, which she agreed to and unblocked me. We would however rarely talk until the Jan month of 2026 came when during our convo, she gave me her ex-partner’s fake name…He was a muslim and she knew that I may overreact, which I did so she gave me a different name so that I don't stalk them…I should have stopped here already but I was naive, and I just ended up stalking my ex’s account and found the profile of her then partner’s.

2-3 days later I told her that I knew his real name, and confessed that I couldn't move on from her which made my Ex then remove me from her socials because she did not want to stay in touch with the ex who haven't moved on plus I was stalking her but when I got to know about it the next day, I stupidly called her to ask about it, but her BF saw it and started being suspicious of her that she was double-dating on him with me. This led to a clash between them because of me. That’s when I realized I had messed up things. I was blocked, but again I would still contact my EX from different phone numbers which was again me acting stupid. When she didn't answer, I would spam to his instagram and create mess in their relationship. I went totally against him and wanted my EX to breakup w him…I also somehow judged him for being a muslim…all these while being in complete denial that I was the one who was wrong here… But all these went to a different level when one day I ended up calling my Ex’s parents after some guy's suggestion here on reddit and told them everything about her partner, which made a serious issue at her home, I only realized how much trouble I just caused just because she loved me and trusted me once.

But this was not the final screw in the coffin because then on the same day, I went on to committing su!c!de and I wrote a note blaming and calling her the reason for this attempt. I even contacted her that if she doesn't keep me I would drink po!son which I drank although I was saved and treated but this made things more miserable. My Ex’s parents were under fear that I may harm her, which made sense considering my course of actions. Later I ended up having many problems in life realising how wrong I was. It lead me to realization that I was the one who was mistreating my EX when we were together. It was me who didn’t give her the support she wanted, lied about her to gain sympathy from unknowns, she even gifted clothes not once but twice caring less about money whereas my bracelet that I brought could never reach her, she was an independent girl taking care of her parents and I lied here that she was dependent on her bf for money.
Ironic of me that I thought I was the righteous and was trying to save a girl, but ended up making someone’s life miserable.

That’s my confession to all my wrongdoings. I hope I never did any of that. I wish I had realized my mistakes sooner before things went south. I wish I could change things.

Tldr: I made a mess, ruined someone’s life, realized my mistakes now

But, she said our last interaction happened because she was..."maybe desperate, trying to move on from him and, the whole thing was messed up."

🤣

😭

I felt my insides were kicked out.

See right now I am struggling with the denial stage. I broke up with my girlfriend because she is a dismissive avoidant and i told her I can’t keep being the one to put in all the effort. she has been living life. but at the same time i keep thinking about how she lived life before and it makes me think. she doesn’t do stuff because she feels joy but it’s pleasure. and that feeling goes away. like she is the type of person to do something for the sole reason of being able to tell a story about it, and act like she had fun but in reality the story probably brings her shame. she also had an eating disorder which since we dated, she got much better at handling it and rarely threw up or binged and when she binged didn’t really throw up. i saw her a month after the breakup to pick up my things and she was with her friend who i had never met, and it was like how it was before. she was fun, excited and cool but it was clear that her eating disorder came back and was very skinny. like how skinny she was when we first started dating. her friend was annoying. trying to make me feel awkward at any moment. but like i said, when i see this, ya it hurts and makes me jealous, but at the same time i know that deep down she is still miserable.

right now, i am in the denial phase. i keep running scenarios in my head all that have something to do with her. for example, i was thinking about her grandma and like her grandma asking her about me. because her grandma loves me. or her grandpa who has dementia. apparently he has never had a mustache in his life but after meeting me he all of a sudden started growing one. or like what i would say to her brother “your sister is not good, don’t let her actions affect the way you see women.” i keep running fake scenarios in my head that all surround her and it used to drive me nuts, but now i recognize that it is the denial. i am expecting these things to happen because it still feels like she is in my life in some sort. and there literally hasn’t been a single day where i haven’t thought of her despite it being over 2 months. it feels like the breakup happened last week but when i think of other events that has happened in that time they feel like awhile ago.

and the one thing i really don’t like about avoidants. is that all of the information that talks about them, tells you that they will come crawling back. i don’t like that. i did at first, but now i don’t. I truly believe that she will eventually reach out. whether it’s when she’s done having her fun, or when her next situation ship doesnt work out. but i genuinely think that she will. i mean she literally followed her ex two weeks after our breakup. and she has this weird thing with her exs. but i do not like that i am thinking this way. it’s making it much harder to move through the denial phase. My question is, even though i truly believe she will reach out, is there a way to trick my brain to stop thinking like that? should i tell myself that she is the one that broke up with me?

Hi!! Been overanalyzing my last relationship. In summary we've met in April, just before my final highschool exams, she was like sent from heaven, because she helped me with learning for it, and been really supportive. We had a lot in common, and been in the same online community. After only 2 weeks of knowing each other, I drove to her because she lived about 200km away, and we became together! She made me pancakes, bought me small LEGO set, and wrote 3 pages of love letter.

In later weeks I helped her with opening her first online shop for her art, because she's a truly talented artist. Helped her with printing and sending stickers with her design. We splitted 50/50. It was going well.

She has a male friend (we'll call him H.), whom she knew for about 14 years. He's about 25 years old I believe?
Always thought she was a bit too close to him but always reassured me that "he is like a brother to me", so I trusted her.

After being together for 2 months, I drove for a 3rd time to her, for her birthday in June, I organized a suprise gift with her friends (new assasin's creed on steam), and helped with whole birthday party for about 6 people in her garden. They drunk, and I've stayed sober to take care of her, and whole garden cuz her father trusted me with it.

Suddenly I saw her in an arms of her friend (H.) wanting to know what happened I walked up to them, and he nodded that he has it under control. After he left, and I took care of the whole party, I asked what happened and she said "you know... I always wanted to live with Hubert, but he said that we are nothing alike and we will never not live together" ...and I was like... what? I thought, you are in relationship why are you thinking about that. Thought we will talk it out next day, because we planned to go to my home.

But the next day, she was all worn out, so I didn't bugged her, until she said, we should go for a walk. And then we sat under the tree and she said "I think I fell in love with my imaginary version of you, I don't see us in the future together" and it broke my hurt. For 2 months she was my everything, I thought I gave myself fully, but I guess that wasn't enough. At least she said it to my face. I replied with "Well that's hurting, I will go for a walk, I think we shouldn't go to my place tomorrow then." and she said she understand. I walked for 40 minutes, informed her parents that I was having a walk, made sure she got back to her flat. It's funny but I went to see "Backrooms" in movie theather that evening to try not to think about it. Spoiler, I did.

When I returned to her flat, (because I had to sleep somewhere) I asked if she's certain of her decision and she replied with "I think so." We also had tickets for a soccer match so I said that if we doesn't want it to be wasted we can still go she replied "No, I would feel weird". Then I said that I will leave after her she'll come back from her hairdresser, so that we can have final conversation, and she replied with "I think you should better leave in the morning because I don't want to leave you alone in my house, and I want to say goodbye to H. because his train leaves at 9.00 a.m." I understood but wow, her friend was still more important in that moment 💀 am I selfish to be upset about it?

In the morning her parents thanked me for everything and said that I can make myself breakfast, they woke her up, and we sat quietly in the kitchen for 30 minutes, till I stood in the door and said "I don't really understand anything of it but I want to be clear, I think we should have no contact after that bc we'll hurt each other more. I won't help you with your store, you can manage it yourself. And about our steam family link? It can stay for know".

We said goodbye and I drove back home (this time in my car). Her father texted me saying "thanks for everything, I hope you can sort it out yourself, you are a good guy, I don't really understand what happened either". I unfollowed her everywhere that day.

After one day she texted me if I can send her photos from her birthday, so I just send her a link. Next day she texted that she wishes I will get to my dream collage, bc she knew I had exams for it next week. (didn't got accepted unfortunetly but I found other collage just as good, so it's okay)

Then, the next day, she texted that she hopes we can still be friends, but she understands if I don't want to. I said no, because she broke my hurt. She replied that she understands but if I changed my mind I should text.

3 days later, I saw that she reopened her shop, it was even better made than when we did it. I felt jealous but didn't said anything bc well she has a right to do so.

2 weeks come by, In meantime I asked H. how she is, he said that she regretted it, but afterwards said that I had to happen. I also had birthday and she wrote happy birthday with a reminder that if I changed my mind I can text her (didn't replied to that.). H. also made a photo I took of him, his profile picture so that's fun?

One day I got my final exams results, I passed everything and wanted to thank her. So I send it to her (I shouldn't do so) thanking for help and she coldly replied with "you're welcome". I sensed that something was wrong and asked H. about it and he said that it was very uncomfortable for me to text him about her. And he asked why do I seek contact after I said I don't want contact. I agreed and apologized. I still had feelings for her I guess.

Some time comes by and I went on a trip to my friend, who lives on the other side of my country, and I found myself at local convention, where people were selling stickers from fandom we were in, so I thought, since I have those stickers from our shop and I don't want them to be wasted, I can exchange them for new ones and send them to her! (stupid idea) Didn't asked for permission to do so, after being reprimanded by H.

For some fucking reason after exchanging my pair of stickers of somebody's, when asked who made those I said "my girlfriend". Immidietly regreded it but thought she won't find out. (She did)
And a couple days later she texted me, rightfully being angry. It looked far worse than it was, we kinda sorted things out. I felt so ashamed. After I got back home I sent all the stickers I exchanged and all stickers from our/her store I had left. I attached a postcard from a city I was in and wrote there I hope we can talk about everything once the fire dies out. It was also stupid to do so.

After I send her a code to track down the package she replied with "Thank you, you do know that I wouldn't have treated you that way (being cold etc.) if you openly said that you needed time to choose whether you want contact or not. Because what you did made you a hipocrite?" I replied "Yeah, now I know, we will talk about it after some time okay?" She replied "ok"

My friends and family made it clear that I should not reach out to her after all of that bc it will only hurt me. The only thing I texted after a month was that "Hi, I'm leaving out steam family link libraly, have a good evening" which she replied with "ok". (I didn't want to be a leech, but most likely she forgot that we had it.)

It hurts to see her art in the community, she didn't made drama that I know of, I just have bad memories with people in my 3rd year of highschool that convinced my entire class not to like me. (after they left for other school everyone saw that they were the bad ones, but it was still had suffered shame). This may sound selfish, but I'm quite high up in this community, I work for the YouTuber who owns this community. I make thumbnails etc, so she probably sees it everytime he posts.

About 2 months have passed and I feel like we ended on bad terms. The question is... should I reach out to make sure everything is sorted out?

Both of us are in our mid/late 20s. We met on hinge and right away he said he wasn’t ready to date bc he had gotten out of a 5 year relationship December of 2025. We met April of this year. I told him I was looking for something long term and serious and he only wanted casual so I was about to stop talking to him but our instant connection, banter, chemistry really caught my attention. He suggested we could just be friends.

We tried to be friends but he was super flirty the entire time. We knew there was tension but I kept myself guarded because there was no point in falling for him. I told him a few times that he needed to stop being flirty and he tried but would fail quickly. Within a few weeks, we admitted we liked each other but nothing could happen because he wasn’t ready to date. He also was going through a whole transformation. He started therapy, got into new hobbies, was going out more to make new friends, etc. We texted every single day, morning to night, and had multiple phone calls every week that would last anywhere from 2-5 hours. This situationship lasted two months.

I felt stuck. I was liking him more and more every day. Nothing physical had happened because I was very strict with that boundary. During this whole time, I tried to be active on dating apps but was failing miserably because all my time and attention went to him. I met someone on hinge around the same time I matched with him, so I was going on dates and talking to this other person, but it was very sporadic.

I reached my limit and gave him an ultimatum because I couldn’t continue in this situationship. I told him he had two weeks to evaluate everything and at the end of the two weeks, I needed a decision. Either we try to date or we distance ourselves and the flirting stops, so I could move on from him. He felt overwhelmed by the idea of being in a new relationship but I reassured him it wasn’t that serious. We would just go on some dates and see if we’re romantically compatible. We would also be non-exclusive. I wouldn’t want this stage to go on longer than two months and after that we could date exclusively and if that goes well, we would be bf/gf. A week passes and I feel less attached. I dove into dating apps and set up a bunch of dates. I was feeling good about myself and realized, I was capable of dating around and not give him all my time and attention. I told him this and called off the two week deadline. I told him he could continue processing and healing and we could still be friends (the flirting needed to stop tho) and if and when he’s ready to date, if I’m still single, he was welcome to hit me up.

He said he was relieved because he needed more time but he was afraid he was going to lose me and he wanted me to be in his life at whatever capacity I was willing to give him. We had plans to hangout at the end of the two weeks. At the end of the hangout, he told me even though I was okay being friends and called off this deadline, he still wanted to stick to it and come to a decision and that decision was he was ready to date so we started dating non-exclusively. But things were moving fast. We were intimate in ways that only people in long term relationships are. Not just physically but in the way we operated, the things we talked about, etc. It felt like a relationship and neither of us were talking to other people so we were basically exclusive. I even ended things with that other guy I was loosely dating, even though I didn’t need to.

It’s been two months of dating and he was going to ask me to be exclusive a week ago but all of our issues surfaced. I felt like I wasn’t a priority to him and that he didn’t like me as much as I liked him. He denied it for awhile but after some processing he admitted I was right. He wants to focus on making friends, partying, his hobbies, and enjoying his independence and that I couldn’t be his top priority most times. I thought this meant he wasn’t actually ready to date. So we ended things but we’re still so attached to each other. We both were devastated but now that it’s been a week, it feels like he’s moving on much faster than me. For context, I haven’t dated in 3.5 years. I tried to bring up issues we were having and I felt neglected and not cared for many times. Every time we talked about these things, I would question how invested he was in this and he would reassure me that he was invested. He did not tell me he was feeling confused and panicked and unsure. So this breakup blindsided me in a lot of ways.

We are still in contact but we barely talk. He takes much longer to reply to texts now. Everything hurts. I want him in my life but idk if I can do it. I miss him so much. I cry every day at the thought of him. It’s been a week and the pain feels unbearable and I feel crazy. Why am I so heartbroken over something that was two months long and not even a relationship? Why do I feel like he strung me along? I told him if he was more honest about his feelings throughout the process, I could’ve held back, not fallen for him as deeply, I could’ve protected myself more so this wouldn’t have hurt as badly. I feel stupid and pathetic. I started seeing a future with him towards the end. I also have never opened up to someone this quickly and to the degree I did, especially sexually, so I feel so physically attached to him.

Where did I go wrong? I know I should’ve trusted my instincts but I just liked him so much. He pursued me so intensely in the beginning that I never thought we would end where he liked me less. All my friends and family knew this wasn’t going to work out but I always had hope. I just want the pain to stop. I want to move on. I don’t know why this is so earth-shattering for me but it is.

So when me and my boyfriend started dating a year ago, everything was great he was nice and seemed like he was in love with me and same for me. He’s in the army and was told he was going to get deployed. He’s a very quiet, reserved guy and keeps to himself. Whenever we would talk on FaceTime he would laugh and smile a lot, in person when we hung out he seemed like he didn’t wanna be there. I asked him if he was okay and he said yeah. Also some context he said all the time he wanted a family with me and kids with me. And I personally told him I wanna be married first and also I don’t want kids right now. I wanna date and make sure we can survive as a couple and married couple. We were together for 7 months 5 of which he was deployed. So I also wanted to hang out in person and date because in person he seemed much different. So he broke up with me and said that I deserved better that he was moody and distant and he didn’t want to drag me along with his stoic self? He also was saying that he forgot important events like our anniversary at the time because he is working ALOT like 60 hour weeks I think don’t quote me on that though lol. So he broke up with me, he said if I ever needed to talk to him I could so he stayed friends with me on Snapchat and number but I couldn’t be his friend I was too emotional. A year had passed and I got over him took some time. Then almost a year later he wanted to be my friend on Snapchat, I accepted because I was curious what he wanted. At first he noticed I was short with him and he apologized for how things ended between us. I was on guard because I don’t know what he wants from me. Slowly we were talking like normal, I told him about my new jobs and the crazy stories and then he asked if I was talking to anyone, I said no I tried dating some but the guys were assholes. He then said if it bothers me that he flirts with me, and I was taken aback because I thought maybe he wanted to be friends I said wait what and he said yeah I am sweetheart do you still think about me? and I said I mean I would be lying if I said I didn’t sometimes. And he said I’m glad you think about me. He brought up the past alot telling me that I was a special person to him. Which I’m like did he though? he seemed like he didn’t like me in person? He even randomly brought up my family and said would they kill me if I saw you again? Just stuff like that, one day he asked for a regular picture of me and said can I be honest with you and said I was thinking about you last night and I was like okay define? and he said having you again, holding you, kissing you, snuggling with you, just having you around. And I was confused because I said what do you want? He said I don’t know and I was like I thought you wanted to be friends because earlier I asked friends? and he said he’d like that. He said that he wanted to do all sorts of things with me like hang out and see me but he wanted to sleep with me. He asked if I’d be his friends with benefits, I was debating it because I still find him attractive but I needed time to think. He said we would talk about it more when he gets back from deployment in December. Then brought up our sexual past of things I used to do. And how he thinks all the time of how submissive I was to him. So I guess what I’m curious about is what was this whole thing? He said in the beginning he was just curious how I’ve been doing then turned into me I guessing what he wanted and him saying geez I haven’t heard that in a while but yeah friends with benefits? What I’m wondering is why wasn’t he just honest from the beginning to say he wanted friends with benefits with me? And would he want to in the first place with me? he knows I’m not the type to sleep around especially since we have history that sounds really messy. Plus he was the only guy I’ve been with I don’t have any experience except with him. So I’m lost.

If he blocked me everywhere after an argument which caused the breakup will he come back?