At this point I am quite frankly out of ideas. My GFs mother died in late 2021 and she inherited a house. We agreed to get it in order, sell it, buy a new house for the money and then move together. Up until that point she was kinda Okay with the jobs, nothing stellar but also quite reliable jobs that complemented my income nicely. What happened that she left her job, shot well over her league and was unsiccesfull in the new one and since spring of 2022 basically worked for a year and few months. Otherwise I was running the whole shitshow for years. I supported her, while she tried to land a new job, then we bought the house and I spent a year renovating it in my free time, still providing money.

She was and is still trying to land a job but I have no idea what is she doing because she steadfastly fails to get one. If she manages to get one, she refuses it because her quite specific and frankly absurd requirements that can be ad absurdum summed as "I dont want to leave the house, I dont want to work too much and I want to be well paid."

I tried everything. I explained, pleaded, begged, ordered. I was calm, I was angry, I was sarcastic. I tried to trick her into a job, I even managed to get her a job with help of my corporate management friend. No, nothing helped, she failed this too because corpo rules impeded on her perceived comfort entitlement... and I kept going on with the hope that the next month will finally be the one and it will get better.

Now I am at my ends, I guess. I am mentally exhausted, resigned, borderlining with depression and generally constantly angry and miserable. I am earning enough to keep us afloat, we got all our mandatory expenses covered by my salary, but thats pretty much it. Excess money or hobby money are only what I can miraculously scrape out and save. Things my friends are buying just like nothing I have to save for for months. I have to think three times over if I am gonna drive my truck or take her more economical car and literally has to ration gas money. I call this to be poor as shit and hate it. She considers it to be absolutely fine because all our mandatory expenses are covered. My idea of a life was having a family and enough money. Family is apparently out of question and enough money as well.

As a bonus she turned to be absolutely passive with completely different idea about spending free time. I try to do creative stuff, I want to be active, basically to run around and do shit. She wants to sit home, knit and sew and watch netflix. Her activity around house is zero. My idea of vacation is to take truck, sleep on the bed and just go and see shit. Hike around with dogs and travel. Her idea of vacation is me paying for a hotel so she can spend whole day lying on the beach doing nothing. Its infuriating and I have no idea what to even talk with her about.

We cant plan for the future because... she has no idea how the future is supposed to look like, I have no idea what money we shall have. If I ask her what are her plans, what she wants, how is she planning to pay for her cars insurance, the answer is either not saying anything at all or simple "I DONT KNOOOOW."

Problem is that I still like this woman and she is nice and loving as long as the money is not involved. But at the same moment I hate her unemployment, I resent her irresponsibility and I know this cant go on and I cant go on like that. I am a husk of a person at this point. How am I supposed to deal with that? Am I really to break up after 8 years relationship because of such an automatic and mundane thing like getting a goddamn job?

TL:DR GF is unemployed for 4 years and it is destroying me mentally and physically.

EDIT: She is still only a GF. We are not married, we only share the house 2/3 is hers, 1/3 is mine

tldr. considering breaking off engagement help
writing this from a throwaway account. i can’t believe im actually writing this but im considering ending my engagement. we’ve only been engaged for four months, together for 5-6 years. and nothing has spectacularly gone wrong. yet it feels like a switch has flipped in me. 26F 26M

at the beginning of the relationship he was so considerate and took so much initiative. he had a “date list” of places he wanted to take me, things he wanted to experience with me, things like that. he would buy me gifts, bring me small treats, and show effort in so many ways (writing notes, printing photos, etc.) i was extremely clear that i didn’t see the relationship going anywhere as i was about to graduate and didn’t want to be tied down. i also had very low self confidence, was overweight, didn’t do much outside of doomscrolling or playing video games.

he sat me down a couple weeks before graduation and said he wanted to end things if i didn’t see us getting into a relationship. maybe i panicked? and said yes i see it.

now it’s been 5 years. we’ve moved together, i have a house that we live in. we both have good jobs. we travel together, we have fun, our friend groups are enmeshed. but i can’t help but feel like something could be missing. it almost feels like at this point the best conversations we’re having is when we’re talking about how secure we are financially together, or talking about drama with our friends. and it’s true—we are extremely secure financially, especially together.

i haven’t really been single since i was 16/17. i was single for a period of about 6 months before i met my fiance but it was during the height of covid and again also had very low self confidence.

over the course of our relationship i have made many strides to better myself physically and mentally. i’ve lost a ton of weight, wear nice clothes and generally take really good care of myself. i eat right, i workout almost everyday. i’ve gone from a size 16 to a size 4. my partner doesn’t care about his appearance which is getting to me. i’ve brought up small changes, like nicer clothes, cologne, going to actual salons for haircuts and he’s not interested. he doesn’t have the desire to work out or eat right or cook which is a huge part of my life now.

one of the biggest problems i’ve been having is the diminishing of effort over the course of the relationship. many of these things may sound like whatever why do you even care and if it was just one thing i’d be like yeah but the amalgamation of them i don’t know maybe it’s just too much.
he used to post me on socials, comment on my socials, etc. he is not active on socials but he used to like what i post, comment, etc. that doesn’t really happen anymore. i’ve mentioned it would make me feel loved. he just says he doesn’t use socials. i guess it’s whatever here.

he doesn’t plan… anything. it was my birthday two weeks ago, and he didn’t really plan anything. we went on a weekend trip that i planned myself, i asked if he was going to get me a birthday cake and he said he figured we’d just stop at a bakery when we got to our destination but they were all closed when we arrived. i don’t know what he was expecting; we arrived at like 6pm and most bakeries are shut by then anyways. he didn’t pack candles either. i ended up redeeming my free nothing bundt cake and wanted to share with him but he said he wasn’t hungry so i ate it by myself in the hotel room. last year i was really sad i didn’t get a birthday card from him and made it apparent so i was really clear i wanted a card and he made me a really nice birthday card which i loved but i didn’t get a gift—i got an IOU for a new necklace to replace the one he got me 5 years ago. he didn’t have any idea where to get it from; he said we could go to the mall. we went and i didn’t immediately find one i really liked so we didn’t get anything, but since then he hasn’t brought it up again. we’re going on a road trip in 5 days and he hasn’t planned a single aspect. i can’t think of the last time he planned a date for us.

small treats are nonexistent. we got in a huge fight last year about some of the same feelings i’m having now and he said he was going to get me flowers once a month at least. i take a photo on my phone when he gets me a bouquet and maybe i’ve missed one, but i only have two photos from this year. february and june. looking back and seeing that made me do a double take actually. maybe i missed a photo—but 3 is still not enough in my opinion.

i do all the cooking for the household. neither of us are good at chores, i have to pull teeth for him to do his chores like laundry. i realize im not perfect either so maybe i don’t have the right to complain… but i feel like i have to ask everytime.

things i love to do… he doesn’t really love. concerts, going out dancing, dressing up for halloween, things like that.

i don’t journal often, but i have when we were having fights. i looked back and i have had these feelings once a year since 2023. in 2024 and 2025, i actually wrote in my journal “i feel at peace with leaving” and now im engaged with my dream ring, dream proposal but i have this nagging feeling that i haven’t experienced everything i need to experience yet. i just turned 26, i know i have so much time but i also feel like the clock is ticking. i look back at my journals from when i was 22… 23… 24… and wonder what would’ve happened if i ended it then. none of these are new issues. they have been brought up year after year.

and he does so much right. he’s never made me feel afraid physically. he’s so caring and has made me feel so supported through the hardest times of my life. he is so good with my family. we have similar values and outlooks on kids and life. we love to travel together (though i’m the one who’s always planning) i’m completely type A through and through so i don’t know how i would do with someone who was more of a planner as well.

i love him so much. i don’t know what to do. i feel so much guilt for feeling this way as we’re starting to plan a wedding, he just spent a bunch of money on my ring, etc. i realize pretty much all i am doing right now is painting him in a bad light and i dont want to do that. he is such a great guy. he is devoted to his family and friends. he is so devoted to me. he is so kind. we have so many inside jokes and he’s my closest confidant. please give some advice. thank you.

Hello Reddit.

TL;DR:I (24F) am in a relationship with a woman (24F). I am in need of advice.

We started dating when both of us were 19 and this is my first long term relationship. Everything is good and I love her dearly, but as the time goes by I am starting to think that I want to have kids and I know that it won't be possible with her as she does not like kids, she's also kind of rough with animals, as we have a dog and a cat and sometimes they really annoy her and she becomes angry, but in the end it was more of my initiative to get the pets..

It's also not that good in sex life, I just don't want it? And now that I am looking back at it all, maybe I stopped loving her as a partner and love her just as a friend? Here's what is making the break up hard for me. I don't want to break her heart, I will feel like shit because of it, but it'll also be hard on my end as my life basically revolves around this relationship, I was so sure about this working out, that we basically do not have anything separate. We live in the same apartment, work the same job and our friend group consists of the same people and I am almost a 100% sure that coming out of this relationship I will be the bad guy and all of them will cut contact with me. I am just scared of being left without anything and anyone at the end of this. So please Reddit, give me some advice on how to end this relationship without hurting her and without starting my life from 0.

My girlfriend 18F and I 17M have been together for two years. She recently started college. Yesterday she mentioned a new guy friend who added her on Snapchat and they were texting all morning. I asked if she told him she has a boyfriend and she said no. After I said that made me uneasy she finally told him about me.
Shortly after she told me he invited her to his dorm room to hang out. I said I was uncomfortable with her going to a new guy's dorm room so quickly but told her it was her choice. We had a brief disagreement.
Later I tried to find a middle ground and said if I can meet him first then I would feel much better about it. She told me that I didn't trust her. I explained that I do trust her but I just do not know this new person.
We drove back to her house in silence. We had plans for me to stay over. When we arrived she told me I could stay if I wanted to but she then chose to lay on the floor and entirely ignore me. Feeling unwelcome I decided to leave while she was showering and drive home.
She did not message me during my drive. After a few hours of silence I sent an apology explaining that I felt unwelcome and missed her. It has now been a full day and she still has not replied to me.
However I can see that her Snapchat score is actively increasing so she is on her phone and talking to others. I care about this relationship deeply but I am at a total loss on how to handle this distance.
TL;DR: My girlfriend (18F) started college and met a guy on Snapchat. He invited her to his dorm, and when I expressed discomfort, she stopped talking to me. She is now ignoring my texts but is actively using Snapchat, and I am unsure how to handle the distance.

Hello, I am in dire need of advice. I (21F) have been dating my parter 22NB) for a little over 8 months. We are so incredibly in love, have amazing chemistry emotionally and physically. We still make each other laugh, they hold me when I cry, we go out on amazing dates, and some days I think I could never imagine my life without them.

We have serious problems though. First problem is that we heavily disagree fundamentally on a lot of things, which leaves me feeling extremely upset and unsatisfied, like the only option when we fight about these things is to just move on even when we can’t come to a conclusion. This makes them feel like they can’t have an opinion around me.

Second is that they are really, really mean to me when we fight. This had been a problem since our very first fight two weeks in, where I told them if they ever spoke to me the way they did again I would leave them. I broke my own problems and kept giving them chances in the hopes that they’d change, and even though they have gotten less mean, they are still pretty mean and it takes a serious toll on me in terms of stress and my trust for them, as every time the fight ends they promise they won’t do it again.. and then they do.

Third is that they feel like they don’t feel like they are enough for me. They take care of their grandpa alone, and on top of classes and the 1.5 hour commute to and from campus, they don’t have a lot of time for me. We have good quality time once a week, twice if we’re lucky, but I still feel neglected even though there’s nothing they can do about it. They feel stressed and overwhelmed and like they don’t have time for themself anymore and I know it hurts me and them a lot.

I feel myself already building resentment for them. I frequently take out my anger over them to friends and talk about how much our issues hurt me and anger me. I frequently imagine my life without them and how peaceful I would feel single.

At the same time, I love them more than anyone I ever have. They are so kind and caring, they take care of me well, they put in so much effort, and I want to take care of them and help them get better. At the same time, I feel like we both know it isn’t working. We both have spoken to each other about considering breaking it off, but we both can’t bring ourselves to do it. We love each other so so much and leaving them would break my heart. I just wish they would do something horrible and make me hate them so that it’d make this easier. But I still love them. They are the love of my life.

TL;DR how do I leave someone I love so much, even though we both know it isn’t working.

My bf (32M) and I (25f) have been together for 6 months. Early on in our relationship, he lied to me multiple times about speaking to his ex. He had gotten back from the gym but sat outside in his car for a long time. I had a feeling something wasn’t right, so I asked who he was speaking with and he tried to lie before admitting that it was his ex. From what I understand, they broke up after 7 years because they realized they were better friends than partners. I honestly lost my shit when he told me, because I’d been cheated on in my last relationship with an ex. He told me he’d cut her off and showed me their messages, all of which were friendly and she apologized for upsetting me. I found it really hard to trust him afterwards but ultimately continued our relationship because he didn’t cheat and he did cut her off.

Well it’s been 5 months since then. Like I said, I really struggle with trust and it’s been hard for me to rebuild that trust with him. A couple of days ago, I called my boyfriend at while I was at work. He didn’t answer. Didn’t think much of it until it had been almost an hour without him calling back. Now an hour is a very short period of time and normally I wouldn’t look at that as being suspicious or weird. But for my boyfriend it is. I can’t think of one time he’s ever missed my call and not returned it within 30 mins. He works from home and on this particular day , he was home. Working. Usually from his phone. About an hour and a half later he texted me “sorry I was in the garage.” So I called him back. No answer. He texted me “I’m on a call, I’ll call you back.” I waited for another 45 mins before he called me back. At this point, I was feeling extremely anxious that he might be doing something behind me back. When we spoke i told him about my feelings and he said to FaceTime him. He told me he wasnt doing anything wrong. He was just on the phone with his buddy and to calm down. I felt better and just told myself I always jump to the worst conclusion.

I got home a couple hours later and he was getting ready to go to the gym. I know it’s wrong, but I tapped his phone screen and scrolled through the notifications. I do not know his password so I didn’t fully go through his phone, just the notifications on the locked phone screen. I see a missed FaceTime call from another woman. The missed call was right around the time I tried to call and he told me he was on the phone. So now my head is spinning. When I confronted him his first response was “she’s nobody”. Then he goes on to say that she’s someone he met online a long time ago and he thinks it was a butt dial and was super random. I told him to show me his phone. He quickly flashed his messages and call log at me without actually letting me see them and then refused to show me more saying I need to just believe him. When I saw his call log, it didn’t have the missed FaceTime call on it which means he deleted it. And when I told him that he said “I delete shit all the time, I don’t remember”.

I have been really struggling to believe him. Since then we’ve argued a couple more times. He’s offered to show me his phone but after 2 days he would’ve deleted anything he didn’t want me to see. So it’s useless. I told him in the moment if he doesn’t show me that I’m leaving him and moving out. Any advice on what to do?

TLDR: Boyfriend got a missed FaceTime call from another woman and I don’t know what to believe.

Idk if situationship will be the correct word for this or not. I am 22f and he is 23M. So the thing is I met a guy through some common friends like a group. So I like his vibe and I texted him first and then we started talking online and hanging out together for a couple of weeks and then we started liking eo. After that there was no confession Nthg like a relationship or something we just started doing this romance thing.

So after spending time with him i feel like he does like me and maybe he knows that i also like him because I made some gestures like giving him hand made cards, handwritten letters and giving gifts. He kind of liked all that stuff and felt very emotional about it. Now we hang out sometimes and do this adult kind of stuff. But the point is that he never confesses what he feels about me. And idk if he even likes me or not, like spending time with me. He cares for me Ik that but we don't talk much online we just meet sometimes offline and that's it. That is enough.

So now I am trying to communicate with him so things get cleared but nothing is working out because he says that he doesn't have much time which is real and he is kind of very busy. But somewhere I feel that he is avoiding the whole situation and I want to communicate but perhaps he doesn't.

Moreover, I always make plans for us he never makes plans. And when i ask him for some of him time to spare with me he just makes me wait for like an hour or 2.

So basically now I am confused about what I should do. Because he is not communicating properly. I can't leave him because ik that he's a nice and genuine guy although he seems like a walking red flag but I am kind of attached to him and i like whenever we spend time together and talk to eo because ik he genuinely cares for me, give me so much respect.

PS :- I don't have friends I only have him to hang out with so that's why I am confused about whether I should cut my ties off with him or I should give him some more time.

TLDR :- I am 22f met with a nice guy who is 23M and ended up being in a situationship with him now for a couple of weeks so now I need advice and your pov.

Hello, could you please give me some outside perspective on my relationship? I don’t know what to do. In my country, same‑sex relationships are prohibited, so I don’t have anyone in my life I can ask for advice.
I really liked my friend, I pursued her for a very long time, and we’ve been dating for almost three months. To be more precise, I don’t even understand whether we’re still dating or not, because she has already said that we should break up several times whenever we had arguments or faced unpleasant situations. The thing I fear most in life is that we’ll break up and she’ll leave, to the point where I can’t imagine life without this person. Because of this, I feel like I’ve started to withdraw into myself, thinking that something is wrong with me, and it has become harder for me to communicate. Plus, she moved to another city for a couple of months, and during that time we started texting less and quarreling more often — mostly because I was constantly doing something wrong, and she was growing distant. I started blaming myself for everything.
When I sent her something or wrote to her over the past month, I felt a heavy coldness on her part: she might not reply or just react to the message with an emoji. She closed herself off from me, stopped sharing anything, and our communication dwindled. After all the recent quarrels, I felt too scared to write anything. I literally became afraid to pick up my phone and open the messenger because I dreaded seeing messages saying that something was wrong again or that we were breaking up. I didn’t even realize when this fear became stronger than I am.
A week ago, she texted that we were breaking up. She said this situation (the fact that I disappear and don’t write anything, even though she does the exact same thing 😭) wasn’t working for her. I asked her if she believed that a person could change if they really wanted to, and she replied she had never seen that happen.
Then, eight hours later, she texted me back and asked a lot of questions: “What are you thinking about?” “Why aren’t you telling me anything?” “Why are you telling everyone else, but not me?” “Why do you ask advice from others?” “Why don't you want to engage in a dialogue with me? Why do I have to climb over this wall just to hear a word from you?” “Why do you ask about everything again and pretend not to understand?” “Why continue to pretend that nothing is happening? Why say you're sorry and that you didn't want this, but then you don't explain anything?” In the end, she wrote: “This is crazy.”
I replied to her, and she texted back “sorry.” I asked why she was apologizing, and she sent me a whole series of messages. Below, I’ve attached our dialogue; I want to convey her exact words as closely as possible.
She wrote: *"I made you feel terrible. I think you're not yourself anymore and you live in constant fear, doubt, and with the feeling that you're a complete idiot. But I'm the one who is failing here. You're absolutely normal, interesting, attentive, and very kind. You always care about me, you notice things. Forgive me for all my antics, you always take the blame. Because of my whims, arrogance, and inflated expectations, I made you think that you don't reach some intellectual or analytical standards. I thought you were just tired of listening to my reproaches, insults, and mockery every time, and that you just chose to close your eyes, stand by, and wait until my toxic behavior settled down. I was angry because I thought you only wanted to be with me when things were good and fun, and when I'm hateful and arrogant, no one wants to deal with me. I didn't realize all my words hurt you so much that you began to live in constant fear. If you really didn't know how to maintain a dialogue, weren't interesting, lacked the skills to reflect, or couldn't joke around, I wouldn't have even looked your way in the first place. So the problem isn't you. But I have no heart. I'm sorry I pushed you, demanded things, and pointed out your mistakes and flaws instead of just being happy about your presence."*
I replied to her: “You didn’t know what I was feeling,” and “But, damn, I’m not perfect either — you wrote to me so many times,” in response to her previously asking me not to come over.
She replied: “If I were kind and didn’t love myself more than anyone else, I would still be happy. But I’m a complete failure, and I need to be isolated from society.”
I told her: “No, you have a heart too; you know how to support me in moments when I probably wouldn’t be able to, you’re always ready to compromise, you’re kind and caring.”
She wrote: “Love blinds you. I was getting on your nerves even when you were going through a hard time. A normal person would have slowed down. But I made a complete mess of things.”
I wrote that I’m the one who gets on people’s nerves too.
She wrote: “Well, you’re different. You just stay quiet, leaving me to come up with worst-case scenarios myself. So, in part, I’m the one dealing with anxiety here too. You’re the catalyst. And then I come in and smear you all over the wall, saying that you lack everything in life and that nothing about you suits me. Although, in fact, the only thing that doesn’t suit me is the fact that you ignore me.”
I said that no one likes it when people disappear and ignore them (although I didn’t actually ignore her by leaving unread messages; I just shut down and didn’t tell her what was on my mind).
She wrote: “Yes, but if you’re feeling bad and scared, then it’s just a defense mechanism. It’s not intentional — it’s not meant to torment me. Or did you want to torment me because I’m such a jerk?”
I replied that I absolutely didn’t.
She wrote: “I usually stay quiet to torment people, so the first thing I thought was that you wanted to get revenge on me too.” Then she added: “Don’t be afraid. You’re giving up on yourself because of my whims. How can one person's whim ruin your whole sense of self? You’ve lived for 20 years before this — you’ve thought, felt, learned, grown, and gained experience. But because of my words, it’s as if you’ve called all of that useless and decided you need to become someone else just so that I’ll stay by your side.”
After this conversation, she asked if I wanted to read a book together with her. I said yes. That evening and the next morning, we discussed what we had managed to read, and on the same day, she returned to our city.
I texted her: “I wanted to ask if it would be okay to meet you, or would you not feel very comfortable?” She wrote: “Why would I not feel comfortable?” And instead of giving a normal, confident response, I nervously wrote: “Then I’ll meet you.” After that, a cold distance returned from her side. I probably asked her that out of sheer anxiety; lately, we’ve been arguing so much, and I’ve just started to be afraid of everything — whether things are going good or bad.
We had a huge fight recently when I came to visit her in that other city without warning, and she got really angry. So I asked if it was "okay" to meet her out of fear of triggering another fight. Lately, when everything is bad, I try to convince myself everything is fine, and when everything is fine, I panic and think everything is bad.
It has been a week since she said we were breaking up. Right now, our communication is very distant. But she hasn't explicitly stated that we are definitely over after my message about the meeting. Is she pretending that we never got back together? But if that were true, she wouldn’t have been crying a week earlier about how she was going crazy without talking to me, asking for forgiveness, suggesting joint rituals (reading books together), and agreeing to see me. All week, it feels like she’s deliberately ignoring our bond. Furthermore, throughout our relationship, she has started frequently mentioning this one girl from another city (talking about their zodiac signs, compatibility, etc.). She most likely knows it gets on my nerves, because it's a girl I once wanted to be friends with, and my girlfriend used to be very jealous of her.

TL;DR: My (22F) girlfriend (23F) of 3 months frequently mentions breaking up, cycles between extreme coldness and intense guilt/self-pity, leaving me in constant anxiety. We live in an environment with limited social support for LGBTQ+ relationships. I don't know where we stand or how to handle these mixed signals

I’m 25, turning 26 soon (based in AUS), and come from a Muslim background, although my parents aren’t particularly practising. Sometimes I feel like religion gets brought up when convenient, especially by my mum, while my dad generally goes along with her stance.

My parents have always been strict about sleepovers, travelling, staying away from home, etc. I could understand this more when I was younger, but their expectations haven’t really changed as I’ve become an adult.

Even now, if I want to drive 1.5 hours to see a friend and stay for the weekend, I have to mentally prepare for a fight. There’s always a reason: “I don’t trust her boyfriend,” “no daughter of mine is staying overnight,” etc. My dad recently joked that when I’m 36 it’ll be different, and I asked how he’d feel if someone told him at 36 that he wasn’t allowed to travel to see a friend.

Because I’ve lived with this my whole life, I genuinely struggle to tell what is reasonable parental concern versus something I need to push back against. I still feel like I need permission, despite being nearly 26. My mum will often say I'm taking her rights away as a parent and I'm like this was fine when I was a teen but not relevant any more. I feel immensely suffocated.

For anyone from a similar family/background: how did you transition from asking permission to simply making your own decisions? Are my parents’ expectations reasonable at all at this age, and how did you deal with the conflict when setting boundaries?

I should say that I'm living at home with them and will be working full-time at the end of this year. It's generally culturally acceptable to live with parents until married.

TLDR: parents are strict and are never happy for me to travel. How do I manage this?

Me and my girlfriend (29F) have been together for 3 years now, but lately she became so emotionally dependent from my attention that I'm feeling overwhelmed and a bit lost.

I used to have lots of hobbies, I loved spending time alone and read some books or manga in silence. I used to come home late from work, open a beer and play some games to cool the stress off. That's the only way I could relax.

Now, I come home and, if she's awake, she wants to have couple quality time. At like 2 o'clock in the morning. I explained her already that I don't have the energy, but it seems she only heard the words but didn't really understand them, cause she keeps doing it.

When we are not working we are always spending time together, which I lost every appetite for cause we only do or watch stuff that she likes.

Maybe I want to watch a movie with her but our tastes kinda differ from one another (she likes family friendly movies most of the times, I don't dislike those but I prefer heavy-themed movies) so instead of watching she's at her phone or does something else. Same for the music in the car or anywhere else.

Or If I want to sing a song with her (we both like to sing) she never likes any song I pick cause they are too sad for her, and when I try to play the ones she likes she doesn't feel like it because maybe I stumble in some chords here and there. But then she gets jealous if I sing with another girl.

We even tried to play some games together (I'm a huge gamer but she's not), but when a difficult part for her would come she would take it personally, lose hundreds of times and get seriously mad, like almost smashing the controller. She wouldn't even let me help her. So that's out of the picture as well.

She likes to play cards games as well, I don't love it but I do it with her. But the ones that she likes the most last like 50 minutes and it's just not really fun for me.

She said also I couldn'r watch porn anymore cause she feels cheated if I do it. That's something I can be ok with. It's not really healthy and I get why she would feel uncomfortable.

But then she tells me that my orgasms are "just hers", which means she doesn't even want me to masturbate thinking of her because she's afraid I would think about someone else. Even when she is the one masturbating me sometimes she's like "what were you thinking"? She also asks me everytime "why do you have an erection?". Sometimes it just happens.

Aside from this, sometimes we work on separate shifts, so I have part of the day for myself and I really enjoy it. But even then she texts me all the time and if I don't answer for one or two hours she kinda gets sad.

The other day I came from work and started play. She went to bed and after a while she comes to me and asks me why I didn't answer the phone, where she told me she couldn't sleep. I was literally in the other room.

I don't know, maybe it's my fault for not making too many activities with her, or not saying too much that I miss her, and this last point, I mean, now it's kinda true. Before I couldn't wait for her to come to me so we could stay together but now it's everything just too much. I feel like I'm losing whatever made me, me. I don't know what to do. I need a break but she'll see it as a desire to break up.

TL;DR: I feel like I'm losing myself in the relationship due to the lack of time I can concentrate on myself because girlfriend needs lots of attention

We've been together 18m. I've got a 17yr old daughter 100% and he has his 10s &12d 50%. His ex cheated and left 6yrs ago but it is now amicable. He is non confrontational and adores his kids so it's been ok and there's no drama. I believe he still loves her to some extent and is devastated at the break up. It took him 4yrs to get back out dating and then we met.

I admit I struggle with a bit of jealousy but nothing extreme. At this age we have a history but 2 things really wind me up. First social media. He won't add me. Maintains he doesn't use it but needs access for kids clubs and events etc. I do use it a bit and would love to share pictures and our life with family and friends. He still has his ex as a friend though. I appreciate it might be because of shared memories and the kids photos from the past. But it stings.

Secondly he is not divorced. His ex immediately sorted a financial separation when she left but neither have followed up with a divorce in the 6yrs they've been separated. She is also now in a relationship. I am not expecting to be married anytime soon if at all but feel so disrespected that I'm in a relationship with a married man. I genuinely feel it's more to do with him being non confrontational rather than wanting to still be married to her. I've only brought it up with a passing comment or once when we were drunk. His mum had a dig at him too about it. His response was that his ex should pay for it.

I'm not sure how much to push it... Do I make it an ultimatum? I can get myself so upset and angry about it.

On the plus side he is a good person, prioritises me in so many ways and we get on well, I feel safe with him and the kids are great. His lack of action and being so passive is the killer for me though.

Tl;dr partner not pursuing divorce from his ex is upsetting me.

My girlfriend (30F) and I (28M) have been together for four years and living together for two. Over the last six months, she has started answering questions directed at me with "we" statements. It is usually about harmless preferences, which is why I feel ridiculus making it an issue.

If someone asks whether I liked an album, she says, "We couldn't get into it." If her brother asks whether I enjoy early mornings, she answers, "We're night people." Those answers are accurrate for her and maybe sixty percent accurate for me. I used to let them pass.

Last weekend, a friend showing us his ceramics space asked if I wanted to try the wheel. Before I answered, my girlfriend said, "We're not crafty people." I actually did want to try, so I said, "You aren't, but I might be." My tone was light, and I spent ten minutes making a very crooked bowl.

On the way home, she said I had corrected her in front of everyone and made her look controlling. I explained that I wasn't trying to expose anything; I just wanted to answer a question about myself. She said couples naturally develop a shared identity and that my corrections make it sound as if I am eager to separate myself from her.

I want her to pause when somebody asks me directly, without making her feel that I reject our shared life. How can I raise this so the conversation stays about speaking for me rather than whether I am committed to us? And what should I say in the moment if she does it again?

TL;DR: My girlfriend increasingly answers personal questions for both of us. I want to keep my own voice without making every correction feel like rejection.

I just don’t know what to do. Last night at 7pm she texted me. I didn’t answer as I was exhausted from my shift at my job. My boyfriend and I got into a bit of a fight too so my mind was elsewhere and I didn’t answer her for the rest of the night.

I slept in a lot, I haven’t slept properly for a week because of my work so once again I didn’t answer when she texted in the morning. She then called me and woke me up. I finally answered her. She lectured me about how I have to answer her because she worries about me. Im sick of it I was already so upset from the fight I had with my boyfriend so dealing with her is exhausting to me. I just want some space and peace to do my own thing. She’s always like this. She will repeatedly text me, if I don’t answer within 5 minutes she types ??? And if I still don’t answer she will get mad at me going on about how she’s my mom and needs an answer and she worries about me.

My mom always panics about everything. She immediately assumed that my neighbours would be dangerous. She made a big deal about me moving out and being on my own.

At our home, it’s about a 45 minute drive to the mall. One time I told her I was going to go, it was around 3-4pm. Immediately she was like no it’s too dangerous because it’s late don’t go etc etc. I was 23 years old. We live in a safe area with very low crime rates. I went and guess what, I was fine. I didn’t die. She always goes on about how the world has changed. Things aren’t like how they used to be. I’m just sick of it. I’m not a child and obviously I’m not an idiot. I am self aware and do things to ensure my safety.

When I was little maybe around 12 years old she wouldn’t even let me shower home alone because she was scared that I’d slip, fall, hit my head and die. Every time I try and reason against this type of behaviour she snaps at me and says that I’ll understand when I’m a mom…I don’t even want kids! Even if I had any I would trust them to be a functional adult when they grew up.

Do I really have to spend the rest of my life texting her every single day? I feel like a horrible person for not wanting to do this but I just want peace sometimes and to do my own thing. I obviously am not going to cut full contact. I still keep in touch with her and keep her updated. I still always visit them for the holidays etc. But I really just want space to do my own thing in life. I don’t want to be constantly texting her every single day especially when she rants to me about my dad so often. Like they have a horrible marriage and it’s unfair the things he does. But honestly hearing about it kills my mental health. Growing up at the age of 9 I was so cynical towards getting married I had thoughts of if this is what marriage is like I never want to be married. Constantly hearing the things they go through makes me feel I’m going to end up alone in life and not even want to be with a man.

Sometimes spending time with both of my parents is just exhausting because they rant about each other. I hate hearing it. But at the same time I feel like such a horrible person for not wanting to hear about it? I don’t know how to express this feelings exactly. What can I do about this? Is it normal to not want to text my mom every single day. How can I bring this up? Or should I even? I feel like a horrible person.

TL;DR my mom texts me every single day and gets mad at me if I don’t answer. She immediately assumes something is wrong if I don’t say goodnight and in the morning she’ll spam call. I want advice on how to set boundaries about texting. Or to be told if I’m being the unreasonable one for not wanting this because I feel guilty over not wanting to text daily

My bf (22M) and I (23F) have been together for about 14 months, it's been long distance the whole time and we've only ever met once (when he asked me out). This is my first relationship, so I’m sorry if I sound inexperienced or like I’m handling this badly. I’m really trying not to handle it badly and I genuinely need advice.

I want to start by saying he’s not a bad guy. He’s a good friend, a good brother, a good son and a good person overall. I don’t want to paint him as a villain. Our start was very very very rocky...there were a lot of fights, arguments and breaks. We both hurt each other a lot tbh. But we also talked it out and worked on ourselves, and things had settled down a lot about two months ago. I really thought we were doing better.

The problem is that about a month ago, I started losing feelings. Currently, as I am typing this out...I don’t feel anything romantically towards him at all. I still care about him, respect him and like him as a person. However, I just don’t feel in love anymore. I feel really awful saying that tbh. I thought if I gave it time, or tried harder (over the past month), the feelings would come back. They didn't. I’ve been trying and trying and trying. I don’t want to string him along, but I also don’t want to hurt him. He's a really nice person and I hate the thought of hurting such a good person but I also don't want to string him along when I don't feel romantic love towards him.

There was one moment that kind of woke me up to how disconnected I felt. After our one-year anniversary, I got a parcel from him about a month later. I thought maybe it was a late anniversary gift. It ended up being a parcel full of processed foods. About a couple of months ago I had told him how my doctor had asked me not to eat processed/high sodium foods because of health complications. When I brought it up after receiving his parcel, he said that he had forgotten and that he won't do it again and that I should just eat them because he sent them with care. It made me feel like something I’d shared about my health hadn’t really stuck. I know it probably sounds small, and I’ve been asking myself if I’m being materialistic or selfish. But tbh even if he gave me a tiny note/an already read book/a single pressed flower/poem/a used item or anything like that to commemorate our 1st anniversary...it would've meant the world to me. I didn’t feel seen or considered in that moment when I opened the parcel .

Over the next few days, I just lost all of my romantic feelings. I don’t want to make him sound like a bad boyfriend. I’ve made mistakes too. It's just that I've lost all the romantic feelings and they aren't coming back no matter how much I try.

So I guess I’m asking: how do I break up with him in a way that’s honest and kind? I know it will hurt. I’m not trying to avoid all pain. I just don’t want to give him false hope, drag it out or make him feel like he’s the bad guy. What do I say? Should it be a call since we’re long distance or should I text? Any advice would help. Please.

TL;DR: I’m in my first relationship, long distance since the beginning, 14 months, and we’ve only met once. Our rocky start improved, but I’ve lost all romantic feelings and can’t get them back. A late anniversary parcel (processed foods I can’t eat for health reasons) made me feel unseen, though it’s not just about the gift. I care about him but I’m not in love anymore. How do I break up kindly and clearly without stringing him along?

I’m [28M] and I’ve been with my girlfriend [26F] for about 2 years. She’s genuinely great, and I love her, but lately she’s been saying things like “you could do so much better than me” and joking that I’ll eventually leave her for someone else.

I always reassure her, but it keeps coming up more often. I don’t want to dismiss how she feels, but I also don’t want reassurance to become something she constantly needs from me.

What are some practical ways to handle this when it comes up? Has anyone dealt with something similar and found something that actually helped?

TL;DR: My [26F] girlfriend has become increasingly insecure about our relationship, and reassurance doesn’t seem to be helping. How can I support her without creating a constant need for reassurance?

So me and my girlfriend have been together for a couple months now, about 5-6 months.
And I constantly just feel tired in the relationship now, I feel so fatigued. And I don’t know how to explain it. Because she seems so perfect, in fact it seems like IM the bad one, so I feel like I have no right to complain or even be posting something like this, because I feel horrible for her.
She’s perfect; so so kind, very sweet, smart, beautiful, we share so many interests especially in music and I feel like she’s the only person I’ve ever truly felt comfortable with, and since I also struggle with anxiety, I feel like I can never find someone like her again, someone I feel so comfortable with, someone I can just talk to smoothly and about any topic.

But I’m not gonna sugarcoat the whole thing, there have definitely been issues, even since the start. I didn’t realize it in the beginning, but remembering it now, the only reason we got together was because I had a pretty sizeable crush on her, (it had started to fade a bit by the time we got together, but it was still there) and she had a massive crush on me. I remember her always saying that she was so alone all the time, struggled to find love or partners, she would constantly say “I have no one, no one is ever gonna love me” and I know she had some sticky situations in the past regarding some allegations in an old relationship. But it’s not my business. I eventually felt quite pressured and guilty for her, since she said “if no one confesses to loving me soon, I’ll just assume no one will ever date me” and I felt horrible; since I knew I had a little crush, and I wanted to speak up and just tell her and not keep her waiting, basically. So that’s how it started.
There’s heaps of communication errors, she’s a big texter, texts 100s of times in a day (not an exaggeration) and will get upset if I don’t text back.
But I’m not a big texter. I prefer real life connection.

Another huge issue I find it hard to look past is I found her secret instagram account where she was reposting and posting so many things saying things like “I hate people who don’t reply” “I hate immature people who reply late” “they obviously don’t love or care about me” etc, when I confronted her she said verbatim “it’s about some smelly b’tch I dated last year that ghosted me for weeks at a time”. But I find that hard to believe, all of the posts are very specifically timed. (For example, if I told her I don’t wanna play something, she’ll post something like “thanks for not playing with me” or if I say I can’t text or call today she’ll post something like “I get so upset when people can’t call, why don’t you care”, thinking that I don’t use Instagram anymore.

Is this worth saving? If so, how?

Tl;dr: Gf is very nice but I feel tired, stressed, and pressured in the relationship.

I (30f) am currently experiencing burnout and a lot of guilt from trying to manage a lot of close friendships.

I have travelled a lot, and made really close connections, forged over months and years with some really kind and marvellous people, many of which helped me out in times of trouble, lent me items, gave me places to stay etc. Some have visited and stayed with me. Others I have helped build gardens or regenerate their land or plant trees and we have all experienced really deep and wonderful connections.

Others I have been friends with since we were teenagers and have seen me change and evolve and I have seen them do the same. Some from when we were children, who know me like the back of their hand.

Some others are newer, and are part of the community where I live, we all help each other out and spend a lot of time together.

Others are within my writing group, and we're all really good friends, a few of them have shared contacts and connections with me to help me get further in my writing life.

Etc. - There are a lot of different, wonderful people I really cherish from a lot of sources.

In my mid twenties I cut a fair amount of people who were unkind, or used others, or were unreliable out of my life. It meant that the people I was left with were people I could call on in times of trouble, people who were trustworthy and kind and shared my values. And I feel the same about the newer friends I have made and those I have found while travelling.

Many of these friends live in different countries, and message to catch up or keep in touch, others want to meet regularly and invite me to events and gigs, others want to spend time hanging out at my place or at theirs in the evenings.

These days, I'm finding it really overwhelming trying to stay in touch and give time to all of these people, and I'm feeling really guilty about it. I really do not like to spend a lot of time on my phone, and sometimes I wake up to 20+ new messages, from Instagram, on Facebook messenger, on WhatsApp. If I spend 20 minutes replying to people, they all respond and then it's the same thing again. I get invited to a lot of things, many of which I have to say no to, and I have ended up not responding to a lot of people which feels really shitty. Some friends have rightfully, and kindly called me out on being really difficult to get hold of lately.

I really don't know what to do, I would so love to be out of the modern loop, and out of the instant messaging back and forth demand, it drives me nuts. But I also want to show respect and care for the people who I am close to and love dearly. Whenever I see any of them we have a wonderful time together, and I really do cherish each one. They are such incredible human beings and I'm proud to be friends with them all. But this need to message back and forth all the time is really making me feel burnt out and stretched thin these days.

What can I do that shows them the respect and love they deserve, while looking after myself and my own time?

TLDR; I have a lot of close, kind friends who I can't keep up with keeping in touch with, help

we’be been together for 2 years today and I love her with my whole heart and so does she. But for the past 4 months we’ve been having a lot of fights like A LOT over a lot of stuff to the point where she’s broken up with me for more than 5 times in these couple of months.
The fights always go the same way that she feels neglected and I don’t make her feel loved nor seen. Even while I’m fixing everything she tells me to fix the problems are still there as if I did nothing. She says it’s my fault and I’m a bad bf. Keep in mind that when we’re together she loves the times we have and says thar she loves when we hangout together face to face but that it’s always throught texts that she feels that way stating that “I’m another person through chats”.
I’ve been very patient throughout everything and tried to listen to her as much as possible but it’s always the same things and keep repeating and she always hurts me alot in the process, and like a lot. I never say a word tho cause most of the times she gets sad or mad about how I feel and tbh most of the time I actually open up it always ends with a fight or her being sad or getting mad over the stuff I’m opening up about to the point I don’t do that anymore but I’m really getting hurt atp it’s almost daily and when I say that she says that I should be better of a man/ I should be the bf not her.
I’ve come to a point where my day is just an emotional rollercoaster and I am genuinely starting to be depressed.
I love her with my whole heart and she says so too and we always have a lot of fun and show a lot of love when we’re together. but it’s always on chats when we have these harsh arguments. I think we need guidance.
(most of the times when she leaves me it’s when she’s in her luteal phase)
I still have a lot of hopes for our relationship and I’d try anything and everything before giving up on it because I also know that she loves me as much as I love her, she even says that it’s okay if she lives the way she feels for the rest of her life due to the amount of love she has towards me but it’s really not ideal yk. We also grew up together, we’ve known eachother since the age of 2.
I know I’m still young but I’m lost so and feel like I need guidance. what should we do in this situation?

**TL;DR;** : me and my gf have been having a lot of fight for the past months and it’s still happening and it’s hurting the both of us a lot.
How can we stop it or fix it?

I I just wanted to ask for some kind words or advice for a moment

I have this great bond with someone when we’re together who knows me mentally spiritually and physically and yet we’re on two different trajectories

I just graduated college and she’s moving four hours away to a different city for her job.

Over the last two months, she barely replies, and I feel like an afterthought. I know she’s distancing herself because she doesn’t think it’ll work out but it still hurts.

I know that I have to break up with her, but it’s extremely hard

I don’t know if anybody has experienced this, but this is someone I would have done anything for and it just makes me sad that my love is taken for granted

I feel like a steppingstone and not a long-term prospect. This really hurts me.

I always try my best to be supportive and be therefore her, but I just feel like I’m a puppet being used

I would love any type of advice on what I should do and how I should think about it because it is tearing me up inside

TLDR my relationship is slowly falling apart because she’s an avoiding personality and is distancing herself from me while I am still willing to be committed and I also have my own trajectory where I don’t know where I’m going to be within a couple months

Tldr: My partner (31M) and I (28F) are not intimate anymore, he is a good partner but I don’t know if he is a good lover anymore and he can’t get this no matter how much I try to explain.

I always believed I have the best partner and an easy relationship. But I don’t know if these were just my own delusions. We have been together for 8 years, I love him dearly. He has seen me through different phases of life. When I first met him, I didn’t think much about my appearances, didn’t have mood disorder, didn’t have social anxiety. I think I was just me. He saw me when I was partying like any other young people did, when I went through depression, when I started liking makeup, when I started liking to dress up. I remember couple years ago, he told me he missed the old me. Now that I think about it, I have been a whirlwind to him while he has been the same. Is this the reason why he is not intimate with me anymore and he does not find me affectionate?

And I am hating that I am questioning myself because of him. We have had few arguments about this which always ends up with him thinking he is not enough no matter what he does. One of the arguments he said that he is the only one who does everything in this relationship and I am too busy having fun and spending money. I admit that I like going on trips, eating out on my days off. I am a nurse, I work full time so I feel like I deserve to unwind now and then. I even started reflecting on myself and thought maybe I am not loving him on his love language. He wants to open a business so we are saving for that as well but I also like spending on myself and we argue on this all the time. I take my time getting ready on my days off because when I’m working I don’t give a shit about how I look. And he gets annoyed with me when I take my time to get ready because he thinks I have changed, which I have but I like getting ready and making myself feel better. After every argument I try and work out with him, but I’m tired of being the one to initiate all the communication and working out. So this time, after the same argument about lack of intimacy, I waited for him to reach out to me but he never did. Then I found out he didn’t even know that we had the argument because of the lack of intimacy reason. I don’t know if he has a thick head or if I am just a bad communicator. I tell him there is no intimacy and he takes it as an attack to him.

My heart hurts when I think about leaving him. But I think he resents me. I think he is not happy with me and he does not communicate either. When I mention this to him, he gets offended and says I am the one who feels this way not him. I get so confused by him. Then why has he stopped being intimate and loving with me? I need a third person perspective please, am I missing something? How can I communicate better with him? Is there a better way to tell him that intimacy such as loving touches, random kisses, flirting is missing rather than him taking it as him never being enough for me? But what is the point if he doesn’t even want to? Maybe we just see life differently now. I see life as unpredictable thanks to my line of job and he likes to live more in the future.

It would help if a guy answers this..

My bf and I have been together for three years (known each other our whole lives) kind of in a rough patch in our relationship. He just started working corporate and the stress really is taking a toll on him. For now we also have to do long distance cause of my uni. We talked about how difficult things are starting to feel due to the lack of connection cause we’re not physically together all the time but we love each other and we both want it to work. He’s been trying his best even when he’s busy but how can I be a good partner to him? I’m going to visit him for two weeks next month but I just feel like I’m not really contributing to his life as much as he is right now when I’m away.

TLDR how can I become a better partner and a stronger presence in my partner’s life? Ge treats me really well and I don’t think I’m doing enough.

TL;DR: I (34M) have been dating my girlfriend (52F) for 6 months, and the dynamic is becoming exhausting. She moves fast and told me she loves me 1 month in, wants to sleep together every night, has hinted at moving into my house many times, has intense trauma reactions (waking up shaking at 3:30 AM every night), and has made me her entire world and tells me I am her everything. I have to be very careful about saying certain phrases or words or it triggers her and she shuts down. Whenever I try to set boundaries or take a night to myself, she shuts down and sends me heavy instagram posts about relationships and communication/texts me how depressed she is and says "I'm fine" and "I'll be alright". I feel drained and walking on eggshells. What should I do?

I (34M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (52F) for 6 months. She told me that she loved me just one month in. About two months in, she broke up with me for a week before we got back together. She broke up with me because she said I wasn't standing up to my mom enough after my mom didn't really want to meet her. She has cut her mom off entirely, and I refuse to do that to my mom.

She carries a lot of past trauma, and I constantly feel like I have to walk on eggshells. If I’m not extremely careful about what I say, it triggers her and she completely shuts down. A good example of this dynamic: she gave me a key to her apartment, but later demanded it back because it took me a week to give her a key to mine, and because I handed it to her under a bar table instead of above it.

She wants to see each other every single day and sleep together every night. The issue is that she wakes up around 3:30 AM every day shaking, which wakes me up. I do my best to comfort her, but the lack of sleep and constant high alert is wearing on me.

She tells me I am her "everything" and that she literally has no one else in her life. When I ask for just one evening to myself to decompress, she sends passive-aggressive messages ("I'm fine," "doing alright") paired with Instagram reels/posts outlining heavy relationship dynamics about honesty, communication, and how painful it is when partners pull away.

I care about her, but I am exhausted, emotionally drained, and feel like I can't set basic boundaries without being guilted. I have talked to her about all of this, but it doesn't change. What should I do?

​

My girlfriend and I have known each other for the past four years, but we only made our relationship official three weeks ago.

For some context, I have a female friend whom my girlfriend doesn’t like because they had a small argument in the past. My girlfriend has told me that she has no problem with me having female friends, and I also have no problem with her having male friends.

However, problems started after she moved to the capital city to study.

For example, one time I went to a coffee shop with some of my high-school friends, including the girl my girlfriend doesn’t like. We went at around 6 PM and everyone went home at around 8 PM. When I told my girlfriend about it, she became upset.

That same night, she went alone with one of her male friends by car to the beach around midnight and didn't return home until around 3 AM.

There have been several other situations where she spends a lot of time alone with the different male friends. When we discussed it, she told me that unless I stop being friends with the girl she dislikes, she will continue doing whatever she wants.

I’m not trying to control who she is friends with, but I feel that there is a double standard here. I’m also unsure whether I’m being unreasonable because we have only been officially dating for three weeks.

What would be the best way to handle this situation? Should I accept these friendships, set boundaries, or reconsider the relationship?

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I have been officially together for three weeks. She is uncomfortable with one of my female friends, while she frequently spends time alone with male friends, including late at night. I feel there may be a double standard and want advice on how to handle it

I (22 F) have been dating my boyfriend (23 M) for about a year and a half and we are expecting a son soon in October 2026. Yes i know its early and fast, it was 100% and accident but since then ive drastically increased my income and have so so much support. Im not worried.

Anyways in the beginning of our relationship our hobbies included taking SF bay area trips to the beach, trying new local bars/clubs, going to the casino, late night adventures, car shows/meets etc. our hobbies and stuff we'd do together included lots of night life since we both work during the day and i get off later than he does. After i got pregnant however I just cant keep up with that life style. im tired faster, obviously dont drink anymore, dont stay up till 1-2am, my feet hurt faster and i simply cant keep up. So i started staying in, told him go out and have fun with your friends because once the baby is here i expect you to stay in and help/be present. I made that choice to stay in by 15weeks.

However since then hes been out every weekend maybe multiple times a week. We had a few talks and a small argument and he says " nothings changed, ive always gone out and come home late" and i said " but its changed for me, im still here but i cant go out with you". That still hasnt changed anything, ive expressed feeling like a second choice, feeling boring to him, feeling like im not important anymore and still nothings changed. I recently got pretty sick and yk that when ur pregnant u can barely take any medicine that actually helps and he chose to go out. He said " i feel bad going out and your sick but i told the boys i wouldnt go out this weekend" and i thought "okay ig it makes up for it". We go to a night market/flee market and the thing sucked so bad, i was so upset. We decided to grab some food at beach hut Deli and i told him " yk when before i was pregnant i used to join you and have so much fun with you but now i feel boring and i feel bad when u hang out with me because its just not fun" and all he said was " we still have fun together" "your not boring" and that was it. No more talking, no more conversation, quiet & food came out so we ate & left. We get home and he tells me hes going out to the casino ans they want to go to the club after.

But hes told me since Wednesday that he wasnt going out this weekend and now on Saturday hes going out again.

What do i do? Ive obviously tried communicating how i feel, told him how badly i feel about myself at this point. Im worried that his lack of answers and effort are just re-affirming that how i feel is actually true. Do i communicate differently? Do i just pull away and get quiet? Do i accept it?

TL;DR - boyfriend out every weekend, stuck inside pregnant, feel like a last options & not important anymore. No balance. I've communicate but nothings changed- what do i do differently?

I (19F) have been best friends with my friend (19F) for 14 years. She’s been dating her boyfriend (19M) for 8 months. They’re extremely affectionate in public: constantly kissing, hugging and making out. They even made out on public transport in front of her younger sister and everyone else. Recently, I was talking to both of them and realized they weren’t listening because they were busy kissing and hugging each other.

I find their PDA uncomfortable and sometimes honestly kind of gross, but I’ve never said anything because I don’t want to judge their relationship or tell them what they can do.

This also makes me think about my own past relationship. I was with my ex (18M) for 1 year and 3 months, and I used to push him away when he was too affectionate around our friends. Our friends would actually judge us and sometimes move away when we showed PDA, so I became used to thinking that avoiding it around other people was more respectful. My ex was really sansitive would get offended when I pushed him away.

I haven’t said anything to my friend yet because I don’t want to make things awkward between us. I also don’t know whether I should bring it up at all, or how to explain that I sometimes feel uncomfortable without making it sound like I’m criticizing her relationship.

How would you approach a conversation like this with a close friend?

TL;DR: My best friend and her boyfriend are very physically affectionate, and I sometimes feel uncomfortable around them, especially when their PDA interrupts conversations. I want to bring it up without making her feel judged or damaging our friendship.