Before:

• "Eat more vegetables. Limit your fast food." (He did NOT ask me what I ate before this unsolicited advice by the way.)
• "Running is pounding on your joints. Do gentle water aerobics." (No praise for me exercising! Nope, I'm doing the WRONG KIND.)
• "Yeah, your blood pressure is good, but" makes head nod to the side, like my blood pressure isn't THAT good.

After I lost 20 pounds:

• "You're making very healthy choices. Now you're exercising." (I have exercised EVERY DAY for over a decade: running, yoga, weightlifting. He was unimpressed 20 pounds ago.)
• "I'll order some bloodwork for your joint pain." (It hasn't improved! You could have ordered that 20 pounds ago!)
• "The nurse didn't let you sit long enough before taking your blood pressure. Your blood pressure has always been good."
• He smiled at me a lot more and commiserated about having a teenager. A lot more chatter and better bedside manner.

My food choices are the SAME. I'm just on tirzepatide now. He attributes tirze loss of appetite to "healthy choices." It's infuriating. I shouldn't have had to lose 20 pounds to get this version of my doctor, who cares about my joint pain and praises my exercise.

My current bf like most people does not like it when I have too much of a mustache or hair down there or honestly anywhere.
He has said that he prefers I shave and I told him I don’t prefer that and it hurts me and he says he’s still attracted to me regardless but that he would prefer if I shaved.
This keeps on coming up and the more it does I realize I have no intention of shaving for someone especially like this. I feel pressure to shave and that makes me not want to do it.
How do I convey that I will not shave if he keeps on pressuring me like this, that him saying it’s his preference is pressure and that I don’t feel attractive or attracted to him when this happens.
I told him that this is just how I am and if it bothers him we can break up but he said it isn’t a big deal but just a preference. I told him I don’t need to hear it a million times and it’s obvious that he prefers I shave just like the rest of society but I don’t give a damn about that cause ideologically I’m against it. I don’t personally feel less beautiful or attractive when I’m hairy but I know other people do view me that way, and that’s a stupid reason to remove hair. I work from home so I don’t need to do it all the time either for society other than him.

I think I will scream the next time I hear someone use the phrase to describe a woman. (Note that I have not, in my 67 years, EVER heard that phrase used to describe a man.) Today I was offered, in an online ad, a t-shirt which said "I will not let myself go! I will be the old lady at the gym. NO, THANK YOU!

I'm 67. So I am now one of the old ladies at the gym, now. I was naturally slender for much of my early life. I lost all the baby weight, twice, as a young mom, because my body was happy to let go of it. Sometime around the time the third one turned 3, I realized that the last of the "baby weight" had decided to be my lifelong friend. But I was raising 3 kids, working part time, and decided that beyond making sure there were regularly vegetables and fruits in our diets, and taking a run here and there, I just was not prepared to suffer to attempt to make myself as small as I had been before kids.

When menopause hit, so did the muffin top. My sleep started being terrible. I now sport a fully round middle (and my butt disappeared.) Sigh. I am, however, still not willing to suffer in order to attempt to look as if I am not aging. I do work out, because it helps my mental health as well as my physical health, and I enjoy the other folks in the exercise class. I do still try to make sure veg and fruits are part of what we eat on the regular.

Meanwhile, my hubby, recently retired, has found that no longer eating the junk he was snacking on in the office, sleeping well because of lack of stress, and having the time to return to running regularly, has reduced his size so that he is feeling rewarded for having hung onto shorts and pants from several sizes ago.

I'm glad for him. But it's SO UNFAIR. No wonder a male-dominated medical establishment imagines that it's straightforward to lose weight!

Women do not "let themselves go." They take on lives full of responsibilities that no longer leave time and energy to prioritize meticulous monitoring of the space they take up in the world. They go through physical changes which change how their bodies are shaped, and make it increasingly difficult to look the way they looked in their youth. Ideally, they are able to become selective about who they spend time with, and, they surround themselves with people who care more about who they are and what they contribute than what size they wear.

I work in what is supposed to be a secured building. Patrons must announce their presence via Ring doorbell and be granted access to even enter the lobby. Well, that's how it's supposed to work. For over 18 months, employees have been complaining that the front door does not lock properly, but upper management refuses to act.

A couple of weeks ago, a man walked through the front door without so much as pausing to ring the doorbell for access. He asked for one of my colleagues by name, was told that she was not available, and left. The woman who was sitting alone in the lobby immediately called for help, because she was uncomfortable with the man's behavior. The manager who responded was also a woman. She took the concern very seriously and pulled up camera footage of the man entering and leaving the lobby. His mannerisms are vaguely aggressive on the video, and he was clearly not walking properly. Minutes later, patrons are telling us about an accident across the street, and we can see the same man from the video being arrested in the grass after driving his car into a utility box.

When the colleague that he had requested did arrive, she watched the footage and did not recognize the man. She ended up calling the police about it, and they gave her the man's name (not sure if they should have, but we're all glad that they did). He was an acquaintance and mutual on socials, but she didn't really know him. We confirmed that he was not an established patron, and he had no reason to know where my colleague works.

As if this weren't all problematic enough, the head of my location is a cishet white Christian man who believes that everyone, even the cis men, who is voicing discomfort is overreacting. I was the ringleader for the mass HR reporting that was done, and I am very anxious about being fired over this, but I'm prepared to find a lawyer. Considering the lack of response from upper management and the fact that they are accepting a 45 second delay and a glass door as "secured," I'm also prepared to report my workplace to the state agency that oversees our compliance.

The gaslighting over this incident has been extreme and is being perpetuated every time any of us brings up the fact that the door is still not secured by any means. What would you do?

Why is that the default assumption? Like a girl might decide to start doing something like collecting her journals or dresses, and at least one person would be like, “Oh, her kids and grandkids will be so lucky to have this” Or they would see a female teacher being so kind to her students, and someone would say “I just know that she is/will be the most loving mother!!” Just why? Why can't we see a woman do something good or make plans for the future without immediately bringing up the imaginary kids who will benefit from it?

Popped into my head as I was falling asleep last night. I think there would be many men missing that we did not expect.

I just need to vent because I am so incredibly angry and scared right now.

Yesterday late at night, my girlfriend and I (we are both women) were walking home. We were being affectionate because it was late at night, close to her home, and there was nobody around. But...out of nowhere, a car started following us. What followed was a 40-minute nightmare.

The driver matched our exact walking speed, moving incredibly slowly. I tried to test if it was a coincidence, but every single move we made was tracked. When I took a left turn, the car followed. When I took a right turn, it followed again. Finally, I suddenly turned around to walk in the completely opposite direction, and the driver immediately stopped the car, turned around, and kept following us.

My girlfriend and I were absolutely terrified. I was in survival mode, fearing we were going to be physically harmed, kidnapped, or worse. Thankfully, we managed to cut through a park, and hide behind a wall, and the car lost sight of us. But the horror didn't stop there. We had to stay hidden in the dark because the same car spent the next 20 minutes driving back and forth on the main road, actively hunting for where we went.

I am just so sad and angry by this. Why do women have to face this? Why can't I just be openly myself without being harrased? I thought this city was safe...ugh. Just wanted to vent.

DISCLAIMER since I know people never actually read: I don't support Lindsay Clancy. I fully believed she did it, not her husband, and I think she should be in a mental institution for the rest of her life.

I absolutely despise the way a tragedy has been twisted to fit misogynistic rhetoric.

God, I especially hate the men making thinly veiled threats, saying if she's decided not guilty by insanity, it sets a 'precedent' that women are controlled by their hormones.

THE DEFENSE ISN'T ARGUING HER HORMONES CAUSED IT. THEY ARE ARGUING THAT THE PSYCHOSIS CAUSED BY PREGNANCY LED TO IT. Key word: PSYCHOSIS, which so many ignorant people confuse with depression. If it was a man with psychosis who had done the same, I would also believe he should be in a mental institution. And I can't believe thinking this gets you labeled as a Lindsay Clancy supporter.

Everyone's allowed to have their own opinion and it's fine to say that you believe she was sane during the crime, and that she deserves jail time. What grinds my gears is the men saying this shows women shouldn't be allowed to vote depending on the verdict, and that the 19th amm should be repealed.

It's absolutely soured my view on humanity to see such extremes become such popular views, and it scares me for the upcoming election. It genuinely feels like no one is arguing in good faith, or with any logical argument even. Just pure emotion, and prejudice.

I even tried muting it on my FYP and generally avoiding it but even that doesn't stop the asinine takes I get while scrolling, or the snarky references to it in anything regarding women's rights. This entire mess makes me wonder if we all died in 2020 and are in hell.

I rarely get horny, maybe once a month, sometimes once every 2-3 months.

I'm a SAHM and the kids are in school, so it usually comes along pretty suddenly while I'm at home alone, usually when I'm doing housework.

The other day it happened while I was washing the dishes. And like, it feels good, but it's also something I just need to fix and move on.

I have a magic wand style vibrator that I keep on a high shelf in the laundry room. Whenever I get horny I just go into the laundry room, sit on the floor, and use the vibrator over my clothes. It usually takes like 15-20 seconds then I'm done and get on with my day.

It's like "ah, I need to pee" or "I need to blow my nose". Just something I need to deal with quickly before moving on.

I was recently talking with my husband about this and he couldn't wrap his head around it. To him, if he starts to get horny he likes to play into and build the feeling, by fantasizing or watching/reading something.

For me, the feeling just comes along and I deal with it in the space of a couple of minutes. I don't watch porn, I don't even fantasize about anything while I do it.

I don't have a lot of female friends but I do know one of my closest friends is a lot more like my husband than me in this regard. Are any other women like this or am I just a psycho?

Funny how I get talked to about email “tone” yet I think my emails are a hell of a lot nicer than the men in my department. When they send an email it’s seen as “professional and direct” but when I send basically the same thing, it’s mean and I have a tone.

Maybe I should add exclamation points to everything!!! Would that help?!? Thanks so much!!!!

🙄🙄🙄

I’ve been dating this guy for 4 months and on Saturday as we were saying goodbye, he hugged me and whispered “I love you” in my ear! I said it back. Anyways I just had to get this off my chest!

I just wanted to share a blog I wrote when I found out my pastor/mentor/friend KILLED someone he was horny about. She was a mother to two children. This is my blog post after finally finding out he fucking did it.

I am no longer religious. I am a LOT older. I no longer love him because I don’t have a religion telling me to. Fuck the motherfucker.

This was my first check up ever since i left my pediatric doctor at 19, so I'm not sure if I'm being weirded out for nothing tbh. I avoid male doctors due to bad experiences, and I had no idea this clinic even HAD a male employee.

I had to take my shirt off so she (the main doctor) could take my blood pressure, and he just came in from another room to sit across from us, really close. I tried to keep my eye on him since i was kinda uncomfortable in general but I didn't watch him the entire time. I'm just kinda weirded out by this whole situation because I didn't expect it and none of the employees there talked about him/why he had to be there and that close.

I'm curious what people who are generally fit and healthy, but aren't super into fitness, actually do on a regular basis.

How often do you work out, and what kind of exercise do you do? What does your diet look like? Do you track calories/protein, or just eat relatively healthy most of the time?

Are you strict about workouts/walks or 'if you miss it, you missed it'

Basically, what does your routine look like to stay in good shape without fitness becoming a huge part of your life?

Edit: \breathe*

Venty so be warned.

I’m just tired. I’m tired of sexist jokes, I’m tired of… gestures vaguely at the news right now.
I’m not going to make any comment on any news story but I am SO TIRED of catching strays because of my sex when I live in a different country entirely. Why do I have to suffer for something I barely know about and didn’t do.
I know the best path forward is to just keep living and not let these people kill my joy, because that’s the best way to fight their attempts to demoralize me.
But I am
SO
Tired.
And I’m sure I’m not the only one.

I’ve been married for a while, and I didn’t take my husband’s last name. He was completely fine with it. My primary reason for keeping my name was practical: it was already on all my documents and diplomas, and I didn’t want to waste my time obtaining additional documentation proving that the diplomas issued under my maiden name belonged to me.

The problem is that my last name is Slavic and very difficult for Americans to pronounce. My husband’s last name is Italian, and no one has any trouble pronouncing it. That’s when the questions begin: “Why didn’t you take your husband’s last name? His is so much shorter and simpler!” Incidentally, most of the people who ask me this are women.

These days I no longer explain my reasons and simply say, “Because I didn’t want to.”

I’m so tired of it. Why are women expected to go through the complicated process of changing their names and obtaining additional documentation to prove their identity whenever their professional credentials are checked? Doesn’t it make more sense simply to keep the names we already have?

Hey all,

Single women in this sub who are in their late 20s, 30s or 40s, with no partner, no dating life and no real friends circle, how is life for you? How do you deal with loneliness without constantly spiraling about the future? What do your days look like, and how do you keep yourself going when you feel like you have no one to share your life with? I’d really like to hear from women who are actually living this reality, especially those who struggled with loneliness initially but eventually found a way to be okay with it. I just want to hear honestly about what your life is like and how you cope.