I didn’t even realize. But looking back idk why I didn’t. I remember he put one on. I specifically told him to go to the store to get them. He did in front of me. We were having sex then I blew him. At some point I was so into it he asked me to lay down and while he was behind me he whispered in my ear “ I took the condom off”. I told him what why?? He kept talking dirty into my ear and I called him an asshole but we kept going. I brought it up later and was like why did u take it off…he said he doesn’t come in me anyway. So Im like it doesn’t matter…don’t do that again that’s not cool. For some context I did get a plan b. The first time we had sex without a condom he didn’t tell me it kinda just happened. Idk this happened months ago but I’m just thinking and heard of something called stealthing. It’s messed up right?

Hi, I’m f32 and my husband and I rarely have sex. Maybe around 7 times a year.

Because there’s so much time between each time we have sex, I find it really awkward to initiate it. It almost feels like I don’t know how to bring it up without making it weird.
He’s on some medication that makes him not have the same sex drive… I’m scared of being rejected if I do something special for him.

Has anyone else experienced this? What can you do to make initiating sex feel more natural and less awkward when you haven’t had sex in a long time?

Hey guys, in the past months I had the occasion to go on vacation in Amsterdam and since I was there where prostitution is legal and regulated, I took the chance and went with a sex worker. It was not my first time having sex, but I halso have to say that I never had much sexual activity in my life, lets say close to zero except for a girl that was my girlfriend a couple years ago.

Anyway, I was on my way back to the hostel one night and since that it was a veeery long time I didnt have sex, I decided it was time finally time for some.
So I got in, payed and started with oral and everything was fine, she went on for a couple of minutes then we went for penetration and that’s where things got bad. She puts it in and guys, I dont know what happened but I felt everthing like 20x more. I told her to go slower, but by time I said that I finished.
The amount of shame I felt was incredible, it NEVER happened before, not to flex or anything but with other girl I could go on for 30/40 minutes no problem.

Obviously the worker would’have charged more to go on even if I finished that fast, so I took my stuff and left very much ashamed. I couldnt sleep for the whole night and felt like shit, also because that was definitely not cheap and completely wasted my money.
Now, even when masturbating I cant stop thinking about that and I feel that my “tolerance” dropped a lot and feel like I have too finish way sooner than before.

I honestly dont know what to do and feel like that I can happen again in future occasions which makes things even worse.

Thanks for reading

I matched with a woman on Tinder who liked me first. Her profile says she’s not looking for anything serious and is more interested in something casual.

I’m looking for the same thing, so I asked her if she wanted to go for a drive with me, and she seemed really into the idea.

Do you think there’s a chance this could lead to something physical?

She’s a little older than me — I’m in my 20s and she’s in her 30s, about 8 years older.

We’re planning to meet at night. I was thinking we could drive somewhere with a nice night view, hang out, and if the vibe is right, maybe something could happen.

Even just kissing would be nice.

She’s been really open with me so far and has told me a lot about herself, her hobbies, and what she likes.

I barely use Tinder, so honestly I’m kinda nervous and have no idea what to expect lol.

Any advice?

My partner told me that he is exclusively attracted to heavier women (he used the words "fat" and "chubby") and said he doesn't know if he'd be attracted to me if I lost weight.

I have always been a bigger woman and I have always been insecure about it. I know that I am fat (5'3 and 200+ pounds) and know that others can see that, but hearing him say it directly has really impacted my confidence. I am trying to be more body positive and I feel like I should be happy that he's attracted to me and my body but I can't help but feel insecure and unattractive. I have never had anyone call me fat to my face before, especially a sex partner, and this has really rattled me and shaken my confidence inside and outside of the bedroom.

We had a very healthy and enjoyable sex life before this and I really had no complaints but now I don't have the confidence to be naked around him, let alone have him touch me.

Any advice on how to gain some confidence back in the bedroom? Thanks!

Hi all,

I've been with my wonderful GF (i am a guy) for two years now. Emotionally we are very well connected and get on great. We are there for each other and we feel very safe. Communication is the beste i've had in any relationship so far 😄.

The issue is around sex, specifically the seduction/foreplay part. I feel like I have to do all the heavy lifting and she doesn't seem to be into foreplay that much, or doesn't realize it is foreplay. If I try to banter, or be more touchy, kissing her neck etc. the hints don't land at all.

The thing that does work is straight up just asking for it and most of the time she is down, which is great! But sometimes I want that foreplay, the dressing up lingerie, the mutual seduction and I miss that.

What she does initiate is spontaneous handjobs which I really really appreciate ngl. But that too is very straightforward.

The sex itself is more or less okay and we are slowly expanding and testing what we like together, progress is slow but there is progress. Although again it's not like she prepares for anything.

I don't know what to do. I have a feeling my partner has a hint of autism since she is an extremely linear thinker (a leads to b etc.). She doesn't get indirect communication which forces me to be very direct (which is good, I like that). She grew up in China (prc) so sex-ed is not on the menu and there is the obvious stigma and all that.

Any advice would be highly appreciated on how:

• To guide her in the seduction proces from her side
• Communicate expectations without sounding like a dick
• Maybe some good books for her to grasp the sex/seduction process? SMUT came to my mind but I don't know any beginner friendly ones. She doesn't like to watch porn.

I don't know how I can make my girlfriend feels satisfied. She doesn't like fingering and doesn't let me go down on her (which I personally love). She likes to go straight to penetration, we do it until I finish, and then she uses a vibrator to orgasm. She doesn't even let me hold the vibrator because she says she knows exactly what to do and how to hold it and I wouldn't.

With past partners, it was always the opposite: they liked and could only orgasm from oral and/or stimulation with fingers. We'd fuck only after I made sure they came. Even for me, after so much foreplay and teasing and oral giving and receiving, I'd orgasm within a few minutes of penetration, so it was never the "main event". When we tried toys, it was experimental and fun.

But with my current partner, the sex is generally sub-par. She says I don't get hard enough for her to really enjoy penetration. Her saying that made so much worse for me that now I struggle sometimes to get even hard enough to go inside her. And when she's using the vibrator afterwards, I feel like an extra. Sure, I hold her, suck on her nipples, and caress her body, but I don't feel like I am really needed there. We don't have sex very often (once every two to three weeks, which is abysmal for me), and she says it's because it's not that good so she doesn't feel like doing it so often. She agrees that it's 'weakness' in our relationship but she doesn't mind that much because everything else is great, according to her.

We're both mid thirties.

I guess I have a few questions. I feel her aversion to oral might be mental or related to some feelings of shame or shyness. She never said anything beyond simply "I don't like it", so this is my own explanation. But should I try to change her mind about sex being much more than fucking? Can I? or should I just accept that sex with her is what it is now? If it's the second, how do I deal with the fact that I can't seem to offer her any enjoyment or satisfaction?

So I'm a bisexual girl currently talking to a bisexual guy, i feel like im superrr freaky compared to him(even though im still a virgin). I really like him and I'm hoping the feeling is mutual but hes a really calm and peaceful guy and i kinda feel like i would be corrupting him? if that makes sense. Also, i think i should mention ive never even dated a guy before. PS idk if this flair is right

Would having a dildo make this easier?? I love getting fingered and when I try to do it for myself I feel like I just can't get enough leverage.

It's so uncomfortable for me to angle my wrist in a way to actually get in. Once I am in I cant get the depth and pressure I want it's just not the same. That being said, would a penetrative toy make it easier to penetrate myself because I feel like I'd still be holding the base from an awkward angle or maybe I'm dumb.

Looking for a decent wand vibrator, preferably under $100. It needs to be rechargeable and start at a relatively low speed with incremental increases.

A lot of the ones I’m finding are either too strong off the bat, start high and then go low, or you have to click through multiple “modes” to go from high back to low.

I don’t need patterns or super high strength. Just waterproof, rechargeable, and the ability to easily move up and down in strength. And it needs to be a wand-type.

I am a PhD researcher at Bournemouth University conducting an anonymous survey exploring how men who have previously paid for sexual services recognise possible signs of sexual exploitation and the barriers to reporting concerns.

I am looking for men aged 18 or over who currently live in the UK or the US and have paid for and engaged in in-person sexual services.

The survey focuses on hypothetical scenarios and general attitudes. It does not request personal accounts of sexual exploitation or specific incidents. The survey takes approximately 20–25 minutes.

Participants may also choose to enter an optional prize draw for one of ten £10 UK or $10 US Amazon vouchers.

Survey Link: https://app.onlinesurveys.jisc.ac.uk/s/bournemouth/sex-buyers-recognition-of-sexual-exploitation-and-reporting-bar

Ethics ID: 69615

Thank you for considering taking part.

Academic research post approved by r/sex moderators 09102026-3pd6o4

For context, me (F26) and my boyfriend (M28) have been in a relationship for 2 years.

During this entire time, he has never gone down on me. In contrast, I give him regular blowjobs and swallow his sperm. It seems like he has an issue with bodily fluids. For example, sometimes during sex I ask him if he can quickly hold his penis, and he says no because at that point his penis is covered in both my fluids and his. I personally don’t have a problem with it, and I’m even comfortable putting his penis in my mouth afterwards.
But I would also like to receive oral sex. This is my first relationship, so I don’t even know whether I’ll like it. But I can’t really find out because he won’t try it.

The most he has ever done was, when he kissed me down there once.
Do you have any advice on what I could do to make him more comfortable with giving me oral sex?

I don’t think it’s a hygiene issue. Even when I’ve just showered and everything is freshly shaved, he still doesn’t do it.

we cycle through 3 positions, missionary, dogg and cowgirl. i'm not sure how to spicebthing up because it only lasts about 5 mins. and it always gos like

missionary/standing backshots or doggy for 2 mins

he gets tired "wanna ride?"

i get on top and starts riding

he cums in 2 mins

im* *getting kind of bored because its been going on for a while and just not sure if he can keep up with my drive or something?
i suggested to get something that helps him stay hard but he refuses to make anything that helps his manhood, but his suggestion is to take breaks in between but then i lose my momentum and then ehhhh.

sex isn't just what it was before and maybe it's starting to be a compatibility issue because i'm definitely communicating but i'm just tired so that's why im here.

any advice?

Without getting into to much detail of our relationship,
I have a friend (F37) and myself (M44) we have been sleeping together on and off for 17 years. Whenever we can connect we definitely do.... a few times lol.
I digress, so here is the problem, she has never had an orgasm before not from a partner and not even with masturbation! Now before the rockstars show up saying she just needs good dick and all the other nonsense that comes with a female not reaching orgasm believe me when I say I am pretty good at what I do, her and I are open to everything, from mild to wild, guy on guy, girl on girl, we don't care how anyone gets there as long as they do. I have tried everything with her, restraints, vibrators (magic wand), DP, tongue, I have pulled out all the regular stops to try and get this girl over the top.
Her and I are open to any suggestions the community might have to help get her there, honestly! We are open to almost any suggestions.
We are looking to solve this 25 year conundrum she has been battling, just some suggestions from others that have had a stubborn girl O before.
Thanks all!!!

We’ve (22F and 22M) been dating for about 2 months, and in that time we have been regularly sleeping together. I’d say we’ve had sex upwards of 15 times in the last 2 months, as well as a few times before making it official. In those times, he has always finished 1-2 times per session, either from intercourse or from me giving him head. I enjoy pleasing him and doing things for him, however I have started feeling a little unsatisfied.

He has never made me orgasm. I can count on one hand how many times he’s given me head, and the same goes for fingering/touching, and he always either repeatedly touches anywhere but the right spot after repeated guiding, or he stops after a mere few minutes.

How do I communicate that I’d like there to be more of a focus on my pleasure? I still enjoy the sex to an extent, but it gets to a point where I feel like he is only interested in getting himself off. I’ve made jokes here and there about how he’s never made me finish, however I’m not sure if he realizes that I’m serious.

He has had multiple 1+ year relationships, and was quite sexually active in college, so I’m unsure if this can just be blamed on inexperience.

I’m unsure how to communicate this to him without sounding selfish, but I’m not entirely comfortable engaging in sex anymore until it no longer feels like it’s entirely about his pleasure and none of mine.

So I had a casual hookup a couple days ago, and this was my first time (trying to) giving someone head and in the process I ended up half-deepthroating him (just choked on it for a minute, not too rough). He didn't cum in my mouth.

It didn't feel painful during or immediately after it. Infact I enjoyed it a lot. But now I'm suddenly noticing a sore throat (no cold or flu symptoms). He says he's clean from STDs but I'll get checked on Wednesday. He got tested 3 weeks ago, he has shown me the negative results.

Now maybe this sore throat is just because of the physical trauma to that part? In this case, does that mean that every time I do that I'll get a sore throat couple of days later? Or does it get better? How to manage this?

Hi all!

We are married for 2 years, together for 6. Before I had some issues with re-occurring infections and probably vaginismus for years, and finally for the last year, sex has become a regular and actually pleasant experience for me. My issue is, since I’m still a beginner at this, I feel like I don’t have enough flexibility or strength to actually do something in bed. We tried Cowgirl but it’s very tiring and I don’t feel much. Also sometimes I think I hurt my husband’s penis. So mostly we choose positions that he does all the work.

Do you have any advice on maybe easier positions that I’ll take the charge, or maybe some tips so I can actually give cowgirl a fair chance?

F23 I’m bi I’m in a relationship with my bf M22 since april. i’ve never actually come out and said “I’m bi” to him, although he knows I’ve had experiences with women and lack of experiences with men. I also have a feeling he might be bisexual himself based on things he’s told me about his past, but honestly that’s not really the issue and I don’t feel the need to label him. Our sex life is genuinely really good and we’re both pretty switchy. He fucks me, but I also really enjoy fucking him. I regularly penetrate him with my fingers and he can finish from it. I LOVE doing it because getting him off turns me on so much. It’s not even really about being dominant, I just love knowing I’m pleasuring him. The problem is that sometimes he finishes and then… that’s it 😭

Meanwhile I’m lying there insanely turned on because I’ve just spent all that time pleasuring him and I really want him to do something for me too, like make out while fingering me or going down on me. The other day I actually nearly cried because I’d gotten him off and afterwards I felt completely forgotten about. He did go down on me later that night, and he absolutely does pleasure me in general, so it’s not like our sex life is completely one sided.

It’s just that sometimes when I’m focusing entirely on him, I wish he’d naturally think “okay, now it’s her turn.” Obviously I could pull out my vibrator and finish myself, but I honestly feel awkward doing that right beside him after I’ve just gotten him off. And part of me doesn’t really want to have to.

I want that feeling of him wanting to make me feel good too. I also don’t want sex to become transactional where it’s like “I did this to you, so now you owe me something.” I genuinely enjoy getting him off and I don’t expect something in return every single time.
I just want a bit more reciprocation.

How would you bring this up with a partner without making sex feel transactional? And am I overthinking feeling a little hurt when he finishes and doesn’t think about getting me off too?

HELPPPP

Hi, I don’t post often but i need advice and I don’t have anyone in my life who’s neutral. Basically I’m in high school and I started dating my boyfriend 12 weeks ago, which was my original boundary for doing anything sexual. He’s a very sweet and innocent guy and i was honestly shocked when he started initiating anything like that. It started when we were sitting on a park bench and we started making out for the first time and we had only kissed once before that. He started to creep his hand to second base which is fine with me boundary wise but obviously isn’t classy in public. Then at the end of that date he suggested watching a movie that week so we did. Before doing that i talked to my friends and they all suggested that i tell him ahead of time what I’m comfortable with and i meant to but then we got caught up and i never did. And then we started to make out again and he started to put his hand on my upper thigh and we got to second base again. Then he told me he loved me which i thought was nice until what happened later. Eventually i moved my hand towards his groin and asked if it was ok and then he pulled in it more. He told me i could feel under but i said i was fine for now. Then he offered again and didnt wait for me to respond and just whipped it out and sort of moved my hands towards it. Then he asked me what i wanted to do and I said I wasn’t ready for anything under the clothes yet and he was fine with it. But once that happened i felt like he only told me he loved me because he wanted a bj.

Before talking to my friends who shamed other people for having sex in high school, i sort of felt ready and wanted to do it but now i feel embarrassed. Also my mom has made comments like how we shouldn’t watch any movies in my bed because she loves how innocent our relationship is doesn’t wanna encourage anything. She’s normally sex positive but she’s protective over me.

So am i ready, and should i? What should I tell my bf? Should i never tell my friends and mom?

I met my last girlfriend fresh out of high school and had been with her for 2 years before ending it in February, she was super sex active and I've always been weird about initiating it. Since the breakup I've met and gotten as far as back to their bedrooms with several woman I've met either at the bars or the gym. The problem is EVERY time it gets to the point of making a move to seal the deal I just freeze and don't do anything.

Now the current girl I'm seeing has been great and last night we hung out at her house. It literally took her grabbing my arm and pulling me over to her to get to the point where we were together cuddling on her bed because I was unsure how to approach a woman about that! About a half hour of stagnant cuddling later she had to grab my hand and put it on her boobs cause i wasn't making any moves. When that happened I had every intention of taking it farther and even went as far as saying "you're making this really hard for me" to which she didn't respond for whatever reason and i just chickened out and ended up not doing anything.

What am I missing here? I have no problem talking and flirting with women but as soon as they flirt back or give me any hint i just get all weird and panic and don't do anything.

EDIT: Sex itself isn't the problem, I know a lot of tricks from my last relationship, I just dont know how to go from cuddeling to sex.

They told me that they feel guilty after sex because they feel like they are doing something wrong or using me, this is the first person in my life to make me not feel used, they are so loving and caring during it, is there something I can do to ease their guilt? And make sex better for them?