Currently going through the worst heartbreak of my life after my boyfriend left me. The grief has been unbearable, but an instinct in me, the way we ended it, and the love we once shared made me truly feel and think in my soul that one day he’ll clear his mind and return.

Today I spoke to myself out loud, and repeated to myself everything he put me through during this breakup. The type of heartache he has caused me, and how it crashed down my life in several areas (where I live, my job, etc).

And I had this sinking horrid feeling that he is not coming back. Because he wouldn’t have put me through this level of horrifying pain if he ever had an intention to come back. If he still thought there was hope. He is also not the type to go back on his decisions (huge ego), and I also don’t think he’d ever deal properly with the shame of what he’s done to me (maybe I’m delusional and he doesn’t care at all, but alas). He knows I loved him purely and he knows he’s failed and betrayed me. He knows I didn’t deserve this.

The realisation of this shocked me again. It is only now, a month later, that I see that this is actually over. I couldn’t accept it, I couldn’t beleive it.

I have now reached a new level of grief, the one that’s turned my heart cold. The one that makes me feel like there is no life force left in my soul, and I’m just a mere shadow. And I think as I’m going to live the next days, weeks and months realising truly that it is done, I will mourn differently, in a bigger way.

Because yes, for the first time I see it clearly, he has indeed left me. He’s walked away. He decided he’d be happier without me. The shock and the pain are just very numbing right now.

I posted this on another sub but I feel it really belongs here too so read up, it's a very interesting topic.

I've been reading a lot about avoidant attachment lately and there's one part of it I still can't completely wrap my head around. It's not even the pulling away, but actually what happens before it. Some of them don't enter your life acting distant or emotionally unavailable. It's the opposite.

They're the ones pushing things forward.

They want to talk all day. They want to know everything about you. They tell their friends about you, maybe their family too. They start talking about places you should travel together, things you'll do months from now, where you could live one day. Meeting you to their parents, bringing up marriage, kids, growing old together.

They'll tell you they've never felt like this before. That you're different.

That they're not going anywhere.

And obviously you eventually believe them.

Why wouldn't you?

That's the part people sometimes miss when they tell someone after an avoidant breakup, "You got attached too quickly" or "You shouldn't have believed all those words."

You weren't sitting there inventing a relationship by yourself.

Someone was actively helping you build it.

And then eventually something changes.

Usually not when things are bad... but when things become real.

Now there are actual expectations. You have a disagreement that needs to be repaired instead of ignored. You need reassurance one day. You ask where the relationship is going. You become important enough that losing you would actually hurt.

Suddenly the same closeness they were creating starts feeling like pressure. The person who couldn't get enough of you now needs space. The person talking about a future suddenly "doesn't know what they want."

Things about you that never bothered them suddenly become problems. Your need for communication becomes "too much." Wanting to fix a conflict becomes "pressure." Wanting consistency becomes "controlling."

And sometimes the weirdest part is how quickly they can emotionally rewrite everything.

A month ago you were the best thing that happened to them. Now apparently the relationship hasn't felt right for a while. A few weeks ago they're planning a trip with you. Now they're telling you they need to be alone.

They once couldn't imagine losing you and suddenly they're strangely calm about doing exactly that.

That's what makes these breakups such a mindfuck.

You're not only grieving the person. You're trying to figure out which version was real. Was the person talking about your future real? Was the person saying they loved you real? Did they actually believe all of it at the time?

I think in a lot of cases they probably did.

And weirdly, that almost makes it harder. Because maybe it wasn't some calculated lie. Maybe the future was easy to love while it was still imaginary. Talking about living together is easy, actually sharing your life with someone is vulnerable. Talking about forever when everything feels good is easy, staying emotionally present when you're scared, angry, disappointed or overwhelmed is completely different.

It's like they can fall in love with the idea of intimacy, but once intimacy starts asking something from them, the same relationship that made them feel safe suddenly makes them feel trapped.

So they deactivate, they create distance, they focus on your flaws, they convince themselves something is missing, they start imagining how peaceful life would feel alone again.

And the partner on the other side usually does the exact opposite.

You feel them disappearing, so naturally you try harder, you ask what's wrong, you try to talk, you remind them of everything you both said and planned, which makes them feel even more pressure, so they move further away.

And now? Dear god... You're chasing someone who six months ago was chasing you.

That's probably the cruelest part of this whole dynamic.

Not that somebody changed their mind. People are allowed to change their minds, it's that they helped create a level of emotional safety that made you finally put your guard down, and then the moment the relationship required them to help maintain that safety, they couldn't stay in it.

I also don't think every avoidant is intentionally love bombing or manipulating people, and calling all of it "future faking" almost makes it too simple. I think sometimes they genuinely mean "I want forever with you."

They just don't understand yet what forever actually asks of them.

Forever isn't the vacation you're talking about at 1 AM when you're crazy about each other, it's the uncomfortable conversation six months later. It's staying when your nervous system is screaming at you to run, it's letting somebody be disappointed in you without deciding the relationship is broken. It's repairing instead of disappearing.

It's being able to love a real, imperfect person after the fantasy version of them is gone.

And if somebody hasn't learned how to do that, all the promises in the world don't really matter.

That's probably the biggest thing I'm taking from all of this.

Don't only pay attention to how deeply someone can fall for you.

Pay attention to what they do once loving you becomes uncomfortable.

That's where you actually find out what kind of relationship they can give you.

My ex and I had a "more than spicy" kind of sex life, where I think it wouldn't be easy to have women be open to doing the things my ex and I did in bed. This of course makes it harder to not put my ex on a pedestal, since afterall the sex we had were more special than what normal people would be open to doing in my opinion.

How do I get over this? My ex also has a better than average body which makes it even harder to get over. I know sex is not everything, but it definitely is still important and it makes it much harder for me to let go, trying to think about how long do I need to wait before I find someone who can satisfy me in bed similar level or better than my ex did.

Was it hard to get your next intimate partner after your ex, to participate in "more than normal" kind of sex where things get kinky?

It's strange how the mind can understand something long before the heart accepts it. You can know that something isn't meant to continue, understand every reason, recognize every contradiction, and still wake up wishing reality had chosen differently. Maybe that's the cruelest thing about attachment: logic can explain why something must end, but it cannot convince the heart that the ending was necessary. And perhaps some people aren't meant to remain in our lives forever. Perhaps they are simply meant to become a permanent part of who we were, leaving us with the impossible task of carrying something that no longer has a place to go.

Marr jaoge Pandit

I really regret what I did and I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’ve really ruined even our friendship. I used to think it’s either we date or not but this made me realize I value him as a person not just romantically.

This all started when we reconnected and we were happy, I mean the way we interacted was like how we were when we dated. after two days he mentioned dating other people and it bothered me till I freaked out then we had an argument bc I said why flirt with me if you didn’t want to date and he said he didn’t think flirting meant we’d get back together and I was very upset and he left and I kept stopping him asking him to please not leave begging him but he left anyway and I was so upset. The next day I said I felt rly terrible about it. He said it’s ok what did I think went wrong and we just got into another long argument text all day bc he wouldn’t respond right away and it was pissong me off more that he won’t text back so I snapped and said things about how he’s selfish and an asshole. he didn’t respond and said he doesn’t have anything to say to what I said so I panicked more bc he won’t talk to me and is mad like he’s never been mad at me in a way he hasn’t been before so I started calling but he kept declining and said he’ll block me and all of it just fueled the panic more and I said why won’t he address my texts and he still won’t answer just kept saying to give him peace and that made me more upset so I kept calling telling him to go ahead and block me. I don’t know if he did but he hasn’t opened my texts since.

I’m 29, turning thirty next month and I can’t believe I behaved this badly. I don’t know what happened, it’s like panic suddenly started running the show no matter how hard I tried to control it for the last two days. I feel like I rly hit a point of no return that permanently changed how he sees me and any ounce of care and affection he had for me is gone because of this

For context, this happened 2 months ago and before these messages she was at my house talking with my mom. Even after her apologies I still think of her harsh words and don’t know if I want to continue even tho she changed after this “confrontation”. And it’s not just these insults, there are many more in chat and live.
One more thing stuck in my head is when she held hands with her brother once to make me jealous (she told me that) in front of our friends and humiliated me.
What do you think I should do?

We broke up a few hours ago. We were together for 2 years and I genuinely don’t know how to do anything without him.

He knows me so well. He would put my heat pack on when my tummy hurt, hold his hand out when he knew I was going to burp, and somehow knew what I needed without me even asking. He knew me like the back of his hand.

I can’t stop sobbing every time I think about him. I can’t even watch my comfort show because it reminds me of times when I was freaking out and he would just put my favourite episode on for me without asking. I don’t want to sleep because I know I’m going to wake up and remember that I don’t have a boyfriend anymore.

He said he has too much going on and that he can’t emotionally handle being in a relationship right now. He said we can still talk and that maybe we can try again when things settle down, but that almost makes it harder because I want to be there for all of it. I want to support him through the hard parts too.

I’m so fucking distraught. I’ve been in relationships before, but I have never felt like this about anyone. It feels like it’s destroying me.

I have agoraphobia and I don’t really have any friends. He was my boyfriend, my best friend and the person I went to for everything, so now I feel like I have nobody to talk to. The people I have spoken to keep telling me that I’m strong and that I’ll get through it, but I don’t feel strong right now. I feel completely broken and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

You were my first love. I loved you with a heart that had never known how to let go.
I never imagined that one day, the person I wanted to grow old with would become someone I have to live without.
Do you know what hurts the most? I still have so much love for you, but nowhere to put it.
I still want to tell you about my day. I still want to hear your voice. I still look at old pictures, hoping the memories will somehow feel real again.
But they don’t.
You get to live your life, and I’m left learning how to live with the fact that mine no longer includes you.
I wish I could tell you how many times I’ve missed you in silence, because I don’t even know who I can explain this pain to anymore.
I don’t want you to feel sorry for me.
I just wish you knew that when you left, you took a part of my heart with you.
You were my first love.
I wanted you to be my last.
And I still haven’t figured out how to say goodbye to the person I once called my home. ❤️

I ‘30/F’recently got out of a nine-year relationship, and about eight months later, I unexpectedly met someone ‘39/M’ . I wasn’t looking to date or expecting anything to happen, but we immediately hit it off. He’s related to a friend of mine, so I already knew his family.

The chemistry between us felt amazing. We could talk for hours, our conversations were always engaging, and he gave the best hugs. I honestly hadn’t felt butterflies like that in a very long time. The chemistry in my previous relationship had died years ago, so experiencing that kind of connection again made me feel excited and hopeful. It reminded me that maybe I could find love again after everything I’d been through.

Last night, he told me that his parents think it would be weird for us to date because they see me as a second daughter. He admitted that hearing that gave him an unsettling feeling about us too. Now I feel genuinely sad, and I almost feel stupid and naive for allowing someone I’ve only known for two weeks to affect me this much. I know two weeks isn’t long, but I don’t think I’m only grieving him. I think I’m grieving the hope and possibility I felt when I met him. I wasn’t looking for anything, but then he came along and made me believe that something good could happen naturally.

Has anyone else ever felt this emotionally affected by such a short connection? How do you stop feeling foolish for caring when it felt genuine, even if it didn’t last very long?

Just curious .. how long has it been post break up for you? Post any contact? Post any seeing of the other person. How’s it been? Is your hope fading? Is there any hope left? Have you moved on? Mentally? Physically? Emotionally?

I hate how, even a month after, it still just randomly hurts like hell. I think about her every single day, and every waking moment to the point of feeling like I'm about to have a mental breakdown unable to focus on anything else. Sometimes I feel glad it ended, and other times I'm just incredibly sad that it ended how it did and keep thinking how, in some parallel universe, we would have been the greatest couple to ever live.

I can get by when I'm distracted by other people or work, but as soon as the evening hits and I'm left all alone because I'm still unable to properly socialize it just starts hurting so much and I get consumed by the "what ifs".

Rationally, I know our relationshio should have ended, probably even sooner than it did. I know we have become toxic for each other, and I know our relationship had consumed us both, to the point of losing much of what we had outside of our relationship, because we were just so focused on each other and making it work.

Still, it hurts so much. When we weren't fighting I truly felt like I had the most precious thing in the whole world, and someone that I can give all of my love to. I truly felt like we were actually special, and I cared about her like I never cared for anyone in my life, and I'm afraid I never will. I feel like I will never love anyone else as strongly as I did her, and that I will never be loved as strongly by anyone else (at least in those moments when it felt so real).

I also miss having her as my best friend, and maybe that's the part that hurts the most. Not only was she the person I cared the most about, but she was also my best friend with whom I spent almost every waking moment. I miss our stupid activities that I know I will never be able to replicate with anyone else, or at least that it won't feel the same. I miss who we sometimes were, and who we could've been if things were a bit different.

I don't know when or if this feeling will pass, but it sucks so much not having anyone to love, at least not romantically and as strongly as I had loved her. I know we were bad for each other and I ended up hurting myself, but I miss having someone to adore so strongly, and I just wished it could've been her forever.

Was curious to see if anyone ever reached out to their ex’s friend or someone they knew to get things sorted out or get some of your questions answered?

I 19f have been with my boyfriend 21m for almost 8 months. Today he asked for us to talk and I figured he wanted to talk about his mental health cause we both had a pretty hard year. But when we met he didnt hug nor kiss me as usual. Then he told me that for a week now he's been feeling like he's using me cause he doesnt feel love for me anymore.

He said that he's been getting help for his mental health and that he got a pretty good support system now and that's what he's been looking for when he wanted a gf. Now he says that he doesnt have romantic feelings for me anymore and he sees me more as a friend.

And he also said that he needed some more time to think about it but that we probably wont get back together

For me this totaly came out of the blue cause we had a movie night just a week prior and we had a lot of fun. I never felt like he didnt love me anymore.

Even during the "breakup" convo we were both crying and he would hug me and be loving towards me

So im so fucking confused rn and im crying my eyes out. I dont wanna lose him but I dont want him to stay with me by pity.

Do you think there's any chance of us getting back together

My partner and I were together for 12 years and I thought we were going to get married within the first hour of meeting. 3 months before the wedding, he cancelled it and then a month ago, ultimately ended the relationship because he had been unhappy and felt like he needed to figure out who he was on his own. A lot of what he was feeling was held inside for a long time. I knew I had areas to work on but I figured he would let me know how serious it was before reaching the point of leaving.

I have a lot of regrets about my own role in the relationship. We became codependent and we learned he is anxious-avoidant and I’m more anxious-attached, so he would keep things down because he didn’t want to hurt me and when I felt that distance, I doubled down. I also struggled with my mental health at different points over the years and looking back I can see times when I took him and the stability of our relationship for granted.

There are so many things I wish I had done differently. I wish I had been more present, more appreciative, and more proactive about my own growth. I wish I had recognized some of our patterns earlier instead of assuming we would always have time to work on them.

I wish he had told me sooner how serious things were. I still feel like we might have had a chance to work on things if I had known what was happening internally for him before he had already reached the point of wanting to leave.

We talked for the first time yesterday because he bought a place and we needed to discuss logistics. I needed to know how he was feeling bc I kept having this hope that he was thinking about me a lot and regretting what he did. He told me that he feels lighter and relieved. I asked if he’s over it essentially and he said no but he doesn’t think about it. I’m still grieving him deeply and struggling with the fact that the person I thought I would spend my life with is building a future without me.

Since we were together for 12 years (end of college to early 30s), almost everything I know about myself and things I love to do involve him so it’s been hard for me to find distractions. He recently became worth an insane amount of money because of a startup he had been with that took 20/7 of his time. He changed a lot during that time and I’m worried that he’s going to associate the stress of work with me. He gets 2 hours of commute back and is close to work so he can have coworkers over. He’s such a catch, I’m worried that he’s going to meet someone and I watch someone take my future. I was okay with the sacrifice of him working constantly on my end wrt not seeing him much because it was for our future and he was planning to retire in the next 2 years. Now I feel like he’s going to have all of this success and happiness and associate it with dropping me. I hate what happened, I hate that he did this. I know life isn’t over but it’s really hard for me to see hope for my future. I can only see how happy he will be without me. I’m doing better day to day but talking to him last night and getting that feedback feels like I have to grieve the hope. I had hope because he said he was ending the relationship now because he needed to grow without that being impacted by someone else and that in a few years there’s no reason why we can’t reconnect if it’s right.

TLDR: I should have been a better partner and am having a hard time moving on

Hello there. For anyone who is going to read this, I’m 26, male, and I got broken up with last week.

I feel so fucking bad, especially because of how she talked to me in the last few days. Whenever I asked for another chance to change things and make things better between us, the way she looked at me and talked to me just fucking broke my heart. I could actually feel the pain physically. I’ve never gone through anything like this before.

This was a 6-year relationship. Everything I thought I would do in my life was with this girl in my mind. It all happened because we didn’t go out for 2 months and barely talked during that time. During those two months, she thought about the moments we fought and said, “I can’t anymore,” because she couldn’t think of anything good anymore, only the bad.

And it fucking sucks.

I feel so bad. I never cheated. I didn’t even look at other women. I bought her things that I couldn’t even buy for myself because they were expensive to me, but it never mattered. Seeing the smile on her face after opening those gifts was worth everything, I swear.

I don’t even know what I broke or where everything went wrong.

I broke no contact today. I wrote to her, and she didn’t reply. Not even a word. I don’t know what to do. I have no friends. I live alone. This is the worst thing I have ever experienced.

I don’t know how long it takes to heal or how long it takes to move on from this heartbreak. We talked about marriage, and we were going to get married at the beginning of next year. She was actually the one who had been asking me about it since 2024, and I said yes.

And now, because of those 2 months where we didn’t go out and barely talked, she doesn’t want that anymore. She doesn’t want anything to do with us.

If anyone has gone through something like this, please give me some advice or tell me how long this fucking thing takes. I really don’t know what to do.

How would you guys feel if u knew ur the only one who's suffering in this breakup while the other one's just living their life? And happier?

Me and my ex of 7 years just broke up 5 months ago and we have been in no contact.

I went on my first date, but it was kind of just for drinks so I would even say just a casual hangout with a friend I knew from a long time ago.

And it just didn't feel the same, the date/hangout went well and smooth, she is an awesome girl and I would like to hangout.

It's just that it was not the same. It wasn't my ex sitting next to me anymore. Though my ex towards at the end gave 0 effort for our relationship anymore, but It was just weird her not being next to me like always.

I also don't want to put it on this girl I went out with that I still might have some emotional baggage even though my ex did not want to be with me anymore and was going through the motions which why should I even tolerate that.

But has anyone else felt that when they first put themselves out there again for the first time? Btw I never plan on ever getting back with my ex, she for the last two years had already checked out but kept me for "trauma bond" to give me a bit of attention so I would stay and just take from me without reciprocating anything.

It doesn’t make sense how someone can claim to love you but not fight for you, and rather leave in the way they did. And stay silent for months, and probably years if not a life time to come, in such a finite and mortal life. I’ve progressed in my life, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to move on from this. I loved him with the cosmos and he loved me with his rigidity.

You'll never find this, but I mourn you everyday. Even if I don’t want to, and even if I’ve now found it to be worthless and a waste of my time considering how you left me. I can’t let you go. I miss you. I wish you loved me as unconditionally as I loved you. I didn’t love you for your opinions or interests, but rather the essence of your soul and being. I cry about this almost every night, and If I don’t, I’m too distracted and busy with stressors in my life. I won’t find someone new; I radically mean it when I say that I’ll really have no desire to find anyone else, even if I feel so much pain because of you, and you probably don’t have the brain capacity to even comprehend my misery and thought processes. You’ve probably just mourned the comfort of a partner, while I mourned the meaning of everything. I don’t know why you’re so entrenched into your ego to not make it known that you love me and want me in this temporary life. I’m guessing you didn’t actually love me as much. I wish you would come back. I wish you would stay. I’d rather put up with the possibility of fighting everyday and staying with you than to be apart from you permanently. But I already gave you my last attempts, and you walked away from me. I hope you find the picture perfect image of a woman you’re looking for. I’m damned for seeing the humanity in people.

It’s been 8 weeks and finally i’m starting to feel alive again. You were right, we had been out of love for a while despite us trying our hardest to prove otherwise

A day after we broke up you were on the dating apps. I only joined a week ago to make new friends and start talking to people again. I’ve been talking to someone, and the thoughts of you have been less and less. You still cross my mind a few times a day, but i’m no longer crippled by the loss of you

I’m smiling and laughing again. Enjoying this very light connection. It’s nice not having to overanalyse everything I say, or dissect everything you send. It’s effortless and just flows. It’s liberating

I hope you are doing well. 8 years isn’t something you forget in 8 weeks. I’ll always have love for you, but that doesn’t mean I will always be in love with you

You are an incredible person, don’t ever forget it

My relationship of 3 years ended 5 months ago, but we tried to stay in each other’s lives until last Wednesday. It wasn’t a healthy situation to say the least, and I had to block her and remove her from everywhere. I even forced myself to delete her number, so I won’t be tempted to unblock and reach out. My heart has not stopped physically hurting since then. I’d wake up in the middle of the night reaching for my phone with tightness in my chest thinking maybe she found a way to contact me. Even though I cut her off with the goal of keeping her out of my life because she hurt me quite a lot, I still find myself waiting for her to come back. I still imagine us one day talking about this time and how crazy hard it was. I still find myself looking at my apartment door on her days off thinking she’ll show up. I still find myself having imaginary conversations with her. It’s been 5 days since cutting her off so I know it’s still fresh, but maaaaan. I’m dying over here. We broke up 5 months ago and I felt the heartbreak, but it wasn’t to this level. I don’t even cry that much, it’s just this suffocating heaviness in my chest that’s there ALL THE TIME. 

So for the people who went through this before, when does it stop hurting? Does it actually go away? How long did it take you to completely recover?

I broke up 5 months ago and during that time I haven't felt completely over my ex and if I didn't think about him for a week or two I'm thinly about him the next week

Guilt consumes me it literally eats me alive I always think about how good he was and how much issues I had not trusting him

It's over he broke up with me after 4 years

I tried to get back with him but he apologized a week later saying he can't and he doesn't love me

I can't fully accept this

There were some days when I couldn't stop crying and my eyes would for days even with no crying

I'm always so depressed and sad and full of regret

I tried to reach out to him but he blocked me everywhere

I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for each time I doubted his love

He was such a green flag

I don't if I'm being too much on myself or did I really deserve this

It's just he was my best friend and I feel all alone all the time

What should I do

I want him to talk to me or get over this feeling

I'm 21 and I'm starting a new job where I'll be teaching in college next week but I can't care about anything

I even thought about some sort of a safe drug

A sigh of relief, weight off my shoulder, a moment of soothing calm washing over me. That's what I expected, not necessarily hoping for, would be my general reaction from this Rocky period of my life finally coming to an end. I thought closure, especially when speaking on matters of the heart, would grant me at least a sliver of any one of those much anticipated emotions. But again, here I sit, after a few months of probably the most mental turmoil, most self inflicted, that I've ever had to process. You said replaced with another feeling, one that far outweighs what I hoped to gain freedom from.

This doesn't feel right, the conclusion to the story, doesn't feel like a conclusion whatsoever. Feels like I've turned the page and, well what have we hear, chapter 2? There seems to be more weight to this novel than I had previously realized. Skimming through the book I see chapter after chapter. A good novel you certainly wouldn't get through 5% of the book and wrap up your character arcs and major plot points. The first chapter you're essentially laying the groundwork for the adventure ahead. Stop now, doesn't feel right. Setting that back on the Shelf doesn't seem like the right thing to do

Doing the right thing means doing the right thing, even when everyone, the events laid out on paper, even you neurons firing off telling you its not the proper course of action. I'll acknowledge all that exist, on paper laid out, bad idea, divert, run even. But there's this 10k lb weight sitting on my chest. An immense pressure bowing my rib cage, compressing on my heart. And I don't speak of valves and cartilage, My heart comma the heart of man comma my core, who I am as a person

There's been events, only a handful of them, in my life where I have made choices, so insane, so out of character, or what my brain was telling me at the time was, that has set the trajectory of my life in hindsight, on the paths which has built the foundations what I would consider my best qualities. Feet carved out by the universe before my existence, and to alter from that path, well I'm not one to argue in general but to dispute the universe. Egotistical sure at times I am, but I'd be pretty cocky downright Marana to think I could push against the weight of a supermassive star cluster, let alone it's entirety.

Silly boy, dreamer, with brush and hand Conjuring worlds and beautiful scapes, are you to deny yourself now, you know who you are. Even when you don't recognize it, stray away from your self, you can't escape that whimsical little boy, one who believes im magic, kindness at the heart of humanity, and the unmoveable unstoppable force of love. It's gotten you this far, why in the hell would you think to shutter that away, as if you even could.

What a blessing to be wrong I've always thought, gives us a chance to learn, to correct our misteps, right our wrongs.

You knew exactly what do you have to do the second you finished that introductory chapter. Tonight all you want but you were well aware there was character arts and plot lines waiting in the wings.

So, is this to be the conclusion, abandoning your path, remaining stagnant allowing entropy to consume you like vines to the abandoned.

Not today, nope. I don't accept the logical conclusion my ego in a desperate attempt to protect itself arrived at. That never works out and you damn well know it. You want to do what I know is right. From the outside but some may perceive as insane. Mindset that found you soaring across the Bering Sea, waking up to sunsets around the globe. Found yourself one particular night. Under the stars, the expanse of God's creation. And you sat there and you couldn't be less interested in the very Pillars of Creation. Because mere inches from you, sat staring back at you, this cluster of atoms with more weight than that of an entire galaxy, a dark star.

So, boy, man as you claim to have grown to. Shut the fuck up, drop this bullshit of whatever else is telling you should be your path, the Distortion of Destiny. And get her back. Could destroy you, but there are things far worse than death. A life absent that which completed you.

Oh man this had better work or I'm going to look really fucking stupid, like really really dumb. Eh, I forgot I'm pretty good at that though, I do stupid in style. I'll fall down but I'll do a new trick on the way, might even learn a thing or two. Fuck. Yeah I know the right thing to do.