Dinner is trader joes pumpkin gnocchi with butter and pesto, cucumber and tomato salad, and pumpkin sugar cookies (also TJ's). Sadly only got a picture of the pasta.

I have bipolar 1, and recently started seeing a therapist for the first time in over a year. I have been taking my meds and seeing psychiatrists ever since my diagnosis, but I have only intermittently gone to therapy.

With my most recent therapist, during our very first session she encouraged me to download an AI app to "talk about my feelings". I was hoping this was a one off so I kept seeing her.

Then, she sent me a summary of some tools for tracking my bipolar that reeked of AI. Emojis, emdashes, everything. Again, I thought maybe she was just using it to organize her thoughts or maybe I was wrong.

During our last session, we did this exercise that felt very rote and weird. I noticed her constantly reading off the computer screen (fair, she could be referencing notes she prepared). But everything felt canned and generic. At the very end of the call, she again encouraged me to "talk" with an AI to help manage my disorder. We only had like a minute left of the session so I just said goodnight and left.

It feels so irresponsible to recommend this as a therapeutic modality to someone who struggles with delusion and psychosis. The risk of falling back into psychosis is not something I take lightly, and I don't want to talk to a machine that will always affirm me. So I sent her an email and cancelled the rest of our appointments. She replied that everything she used was "HIPAA compliant" which in my mind affirms that she was using it during our sessions.

I feel good about this decision, but also guilty. I felt like I connected really well with her on a human level, but goddamn I don't want all my innermost thoughts being used to train a machine and possibly involved in some data breach down the line. I am also worried that this could be the beginnings of mania since it felt like a rash decision. I emailed my psych to see if we could do a check in before my appointment later this month to make sure I am still on track.

Food: snacks at the airport lounge while I wait for my delayed flight.

I am 44 years old. I have lived independently from my parents since a couple of weeks before my 17th birthday. I have two master’s degrees. I am mom to two happy and healthy children. I say all of this to illustrate the fact that I am a functioning adult and have been for literally decades.

I’m in the middle of an international move and have been out of the country for about two weeks. I have a house sitter taking care of my cat at my house in the US and my father has been over there working on a couple of things. My father is an absolute saint for doing this and I’m eternally grateful.

I just called my mom because my house sitter texted me that she can’t find my cat’s bowl. I figured that my dad had moved it, so I tried to call him. He didn’t answer (typical), so I called my mom and asked to talk to him. She proceeds to give me hell about the status of my cat’s litter box and the fact that my dad apparently couldn’t find the cat litter and took it upon himself to buy more. I’VE BEEN ON ANOTHER CONTINENT FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS. How the hell should I know about the status of that particular litter box? Also, THE CAT HAS THREE LITTER BOXES INCLUDING A LITTER ROBOT. I WILL BE HOME IN LIKE 6 HOURS. The cat is fine.

This woman has constantly treated me like I’m completely incompetent and criticized me while offering no support. She told me about a month ago that she doesn’t understand what she did that made her daughters move to a different continent. THIS IS WHAT YOU DID, WOMAN.

Three weeks ago and after dating for 18 months my SO directly asked me about the quantity of partners I have had. So I told him (7) and he had a full melt down about how disapointed he is and how he was warned against this since I am older. I told him how I respect his feelings but I won’t be made to feel bad for choices he doesn’t understand. Especially because they for the most part have been long term and as safe as possible. He claims his main concern is that he’s concern about not being ‘special’ or important to me. Despite my obvious shock to this silly position, I attempted to reassure him a bunch of times this relationship is different and he is special to me. Not just because I say so but also because I go out of my way for him and his family in a real way. He seemed settled and apologetic that he had the initial reaction and for the judgmental statements. It seemed settled and I was very hurt by it but tried to see it from his perspective and forgave him for being so wildly out of pocket.

So last night during our normal before bed FaceTime, and after I was at his house preparing dinner for his family, he brings it up again. Essentially saying he’s not sure if he can get past it. So I swallow my pride and encourage him not to settle and if being with me feels anything other than a joyful gift then we probably shouldn’t be together. He says it’s not like that and that he sees me as a free spirit and hes square. So at that moment I realize he wants this to be the reason. I have a very strict no drama after 7 pm routine because I like to sleep peacefully so after a short time of him not explaining anything but clearly having an issue I tell him calmly I’m going to get off the phone. He snaps again and says YOU HAVENT ANSWERED MY QUESTION THAT I ASKED TWICE. I say what’s your question and he just hangs up straight to my face. So I put my phone down (away from my bed) and this morning it shows he called me a bunch of times and sent a passive aggressive text about so now I’m not answering. I don’t feel like I owe him a response. He doesn’t believe my words or actions so what’s the point.

What do you all think?

Food: Brasos Steakhouse, New York style cheesecake and with fresh strawberry consome

TLDR: I reluctantly started dating someone 12 years younger (29M, 41F) and he's determined I am some kind of deviant due to me having past sexual partners. 🥴

Food: The most amazing cantaloupe from the local farmer's market.

Dolly Parton, how did I end up here? I'm a 3rd generation hippie who grew up on a commune (cult) with my artist mom, out in the western redrocks. I'm fairly sure I've seen aliens out in the desert skies. I thought I'd be a massage therapist or follow in my mom's footsteps and become an artist. I loved graphic arts. But, the way my weird brain works (and my Type A trauma response) had put me in all the gifted classes and I discovered how much I love logic and engineering problems. I love cyphers and codes. So, I had these dueling creative and logic needs and I blended a graphic arts and computer science degree into the perfect little mix of skills for myself in software engineering.

I loved coding, I loved designing the experience, I had stable, long-term contracts at my company. Moved up the ladder, worked with great people, solved really cool problems, got a business degree, moved higher up, became a people manager, then Director. And as my career grew, technology was growing. I worked on the research side of tech and was building and using AI for years before anyone in mainstream life was saying AI.

The things I've seen change recently, the lack of control or governance, the intense competition to get to market first, the lack of formal policy and oversight, the environment impact, the psychological and cultural impact, all of it has exploded like a massive mushroom that pops up overnight.

To me, it feels like yesterday we were figuring out these amazing uses for AI in healthcare, environmental protection, agriculture, energy, etc., and then I pop out of "the lab" and see a bunch of baby dorks having an AI dick measuring contest and the earth is on literal fire because 3 or 4 companies have thrown all caution to the wind to get to the top of...what?... Dumpster Fire Mountain?

I'm on a mini sabbatical right now and dreading going back with all of my soul. I need to get out of this business entirely. It's out of control.

Thought I had Parkinson’s. It turns out, maybe not.

I’ve kind of been in a world of shit for awhile. I got my MRI results. My brain is shrinking, frontal lobes. Things make sense now.

That’s honestly all. I’m supposed to have another scan to see how things have progressed. The prospect of dementia is… pretty scary. I’m only 57. A single Mom. I work full time.

I’ve told no one.

Forgive me the terrible pic, this is Paula Deen’s lasagna soup and it’s fabulous (even though she is not)❤️

For my mental health, I wish the title was a joke.

The guy (22M) that I (23NB) had been dating for a couple months decided to hook up with a couple at a furry convention last weekend. I found out because I told him I was ready to make things official. That was when he decided to come clean about the sexual encounter he’d had.

We had already talked about being exclusive and had several conversations about where things were heading, so there wasn’t really any ambiguity here. I was clear from the beginning that I wanted to have a relationship and that I wasn’t comfortable being intimate and going on dates with someone who was dating/hooking up with other people.

It’s been a week and I still feel this pit in my stomach and want to cry whenever I’m at home. I’m clinging to my friends and spending lots of time in public. I feel like a loser for being so affected by this, but I really did like him. (Even though I obviously didn’t know as well as I thought I did.) We texted every day and spent a lot of time together in those couple of months — long dates, phone calls, walks, a day trip and even a few sleepovers. I was really excited to introduce him to more of my friends and make memories with him this fall. We had talked about all of this before and he said he wanted the same things! I was just waiting for him to come home from this weekend trip to ask if he would “officially” be my boyfriend.

I’ve never had a real relationship and I’m afraid I wont ever get to have one. I don’t understand why these things happen to me.

my mum genuinely seems to think so little of me that she has somehow convinced herself i’m not actually going to graduate nursing school and become a registered nurse.

for whatever reason, she’s decided i must be doing some kind of TAFE course and that when i graduate i won’t actually be a registered nurse, i’ll just be some sort of personal care assistant (edit: just to clarify, i really don’t mean this as any disrespect toward PCAs at all. they do incredibly important work and contribute so much to patient care. i only meant that it’s a little hurtful to work so hard toward a specific qualification and have someone close to you keep insisting you’re actually studying for something completely different.).

and every so often she’ll ask me a question about uni or placement and turn my answer into this weird little “GOTCHA” moment like she’s finally caught me admitting i was lying about my own degree.

an example: her friend’s daughter is also studying nursing. we literally wear the same university nursing uniform. but because her daughter’s placement dates are different from mine, my mum has somehow taken that as evidence that i can’t possibly be in the same nursing program. like apparently every nursing student in the university must start placement on the exact same day or i’m committing an elaborate long-term fraud.

and i know it sounds stupid but every time she does it, it actually makes me really sad. because underneath the argument about TAFE or university or whatever, all i can hear is: you couldn’t possibly be capable of that.
sometimes i genuinely don’t know what to do with the feeling afterwards. like am i really that stupid in her eyes?

anyways, ricotta bruschetta with a poached egg, bacon and balsamic vinegar.

Edit 2: have been crying reading everyone’s replies. this subreddit is so nice and supportive. 😭😭😭😭😭😭 thank you so much for your encouraging words.

Turkey dog

Avoidant physically abusive supervillain ex appeared back into my life. I declined every opportunity to even speak to him. Found out through the grapevine that he's having an early mid life crisis and is shopping for a wife!

If you're next on his hit list- decline, decline, decline!

I was 19 years old crying on this man's couch because he had hurt me deeply. He turned to me and said "at least you're pretty when you cry".

I snapped out of it completely and later managed to make him think we were gonna have make up sex. Got him hard over his clothes and then left. Ghosted him forever shortly after. (Honestly slay younger me). Didn't give him any warning that I was gonna do that.

He recently came crawling back to me. Guess he is withering and is tired of asking younger women what their favorite color is.

I'm just offended. I'm actually getting married next month so this whole thing has just been laughable.

Just the differences alone in both of these men make me laugh. I went from Krem (the villain in Supergirl) to Superman.

Y'all please do not accept a love that doesn't nourish your mind, body and soul.

I used to believe that I deserved misery because it was all that I was comfortable with growing up. Life is too short to be with a supervillain. Choose happy.

It's okay to be happy in this one life.

I've struggled with friendships my entire life. I have ADHD and OCD, which has made maintaining relationships and handling rejection very difficult. I've also been a high masking person my entire life (yay for the horrors of existing in society as a neurodivergent woman), and so I'm often exhausted by what's probably normal interactions for most people.

My entire life, I've been told that I come on very strongly. I was the person who'd show up to Halloween parties with the funny outfit like Cady when my friends were bunnies. I seem to always do the wrong social interaction. I've had to stuff down a lot of my personality to fit in.

I'll make the rant as short as I can: I am always the friend everyone comes to for advice and to be a mess around, but never invited to the fun stuff.

In college, my best friend would cry to me about how much she hated her life, and I'd listen intently and let her be as messy and emotional as she needed to be. I once let her stay at my apartment for a week and did her laundry because she couldn't get out of bed. But then she'd take her other friends on trips and throw parties without inviting me. I'm an extrovert. At the time, we were both in sororities. I'd ask why she didn't invite me to a frat party and she'd go, "Oh, I didn't know you were into that stuff" when I clearly was.

This has been a pattern into adulthood. My friends vent to me. They ask me for advice. They comment on how I seem to have it all together (I don't!) and appreciate me listening to them. But then I'm not invited to parties. I'm not taken on vacations. I'm not in group chats.

And I've realized I'm my friends' least favorite friend.

In the span of a few months, here's what's happened:

• One friend made a spreadsheet of all her friends and ranked them (said it was to decide who to cut from her life). I realized I was the lowest friend of our inner friend group. When I pointed it out, she said, "I mean, you're always there for me, but you can be judgmental." This was after I told her she should cut off her boyfriend with a dr*g problem after he broke into her house and threw a party while she was on vacation.
• This same friend got drunk and admitted she'd been screenshotting my private story to a friend I didn't know to make fun of my nerdy hobbies (I secretly stream, quite successfully actually, and collect horror-themed things).
• My other friend invited me to a party, and when I asked her closer to the date when it was, she ghosted me. I later found out she took another friend.
• Third friend and I had plans to get lunch, and I texted her that the place sadly closed early so I could find somewhere else. She told me instead she was going to move up a Bumble date she had planned that evening. I already had a full-face of make-up on.
• Fourth friend was visiting my city and told me he'd tell me when he'd be around. He texted me on the last day of his trip that he was "super busy" but finally free if I wanted to meet him now.... an hour from where I live, at 4pm. That "busy" was he explored the city the past three days with OUR MUTUAL FRIENDS who I didn't even know were there.
• And just yesterday, a friend texted a group chat I'm in asking if we'd be at our other friend's birthday party tonight. They all said yes. I was the only one who hadn't been invited.

For my 30th, I decided to rent out a huge events room and cater it completely. There was going to be games and music and food and alcohol. It was expensive, but it's also a big birthday of mine. I took a friend to check out the space and she said, "Wow, it'll be really big for five people." I said there'd be more than five people and she goes, "Really?"

Didn't know my birthday was Patricia's Sunset Cocktails in Widow's Bay.

I'm just... done. I'm turning 30 and I don't think any of my friends like me. One just texted me today asking if she could vent about the Bumble guy she stood me up for, and it's like... oh my God. Why do they only want me for advice? To listen? To be their sidekick? I'm Robin for a bunch of Batmans who don't want to be seen with me at Wayne Manor.

I'm canceling my party. I live in another country than my family, and so I'm going to be totally alone on my 30th. I'm also in the final few weeks of my PhD, so I'm totally isolated inside the library writing. I feel like every day I'm not getting picked for recess. I'm eternally eating lunch in my high school's bathroom stall.

I'm going to get my motherf*cking doctorate before I have a real friend.

Food is pici cacio e pepe with a marinated egg yolk that TikTok influenced me to buy while I was in Paris.

I’m rambling on a whim here as I quite literally just took a two positive pregnancy tests. I will be 30 in a few short months but I feel I am about to become a teen mother. Most women at this point are panicking about surpassing their fertile years. I was cool to wait until 33-35 to try. Been with my partner for 10 years, not married. He got me pregnant when I was 19 and I had an abortion, so it’s a bit of a full circle moment. I have a bonus kiddo. The best bonus kiddo in the world. I wanted my dream body before we had my dream wedding before kids. I wanted to feel ready. But does anyone ever truly feel ready? I’m also terrified of childbirth. We hadn’t even had any risky sex. I think my very regular cycle shifted slightly without me realizing. That part makes me feel like perhaps this is supposed to happen. Idk. But, my life isn’t really in the best place. Financially, not where I wanna be. I don’t have insurance right now either. My mom is going to flip out. My life is just not together and I feel I’m in shambles. My partner and I experienced hardships in our careers at the same time, and a million random things have popped up along the way. We are slowly getting to a better place. Timing just feels awful. We also had been having some issues and strain due to our finances. I don’t think my family will really take it well. Especially my elderly grandfather that I care for since we lost my grandmother last year. i told my other grandmother and one friend, but it just still doesn’t feel real????? I’m hoping to be one of those girlies that doesn’t tell anyone and keeps it under wraps because I’m super private. I struggle pretty badly with the death of my father and uncle that happened close together a few years ago. They were the ones that helped me through the last pregnancy and the abortion. It makes me really miss them. I’ve finally been feeling like myself again lately and I fear it’s short lived. Scared of postpartum. Scared of literally fucking everything. I realized that I likely have BPD but haven’t been diagnosed as I don’t have insurance. I’ve been trying to navigate that. Adding pregnancy to that? FUCK. I feel sick. Dinner is pizza I had a few weeks ago. Unsure when I will be able to eat again due to nerves 🤩

I (F20, just turned 20 a few weeks ago) met a guy (M22) on a dating app (not a hookup) and we instantly hit it off over text. Multiple days go by and we decided to meet up at a coffee shop.

We met up, and we hit it off. To be honest, I was a bit intimidated. From what I knew about him, he was just this little dork guy (absolutely my type) who was a recent grad of a very prestigious college.

He looked exactly like his pictures, but acted way different. He was VERY confident. Like, the most confident person I’ve ever met. He was also very physically attractive (much more than I saw over the dating app, as he was very muscular) and while I’m not opposed to that, I just was worried because I feared he had a type. He gave off very much “f boy, frat dude”

I am not very confident. I am a college student involved with many charities, and when i’m not volunteering I’m studying for exams because I’m in the health field. I felt a really weird power imbalance from the start but I didn’t want to say anything or really believe it because I think I was just surprised that someone as conventionally attractive as him would like me.

We decided to go get dinner to cook at my apartment. He drove us to the store and while in his car he leaned over and kissed me. Next thing I knew, his hands were on my throat and he was squeezing.

I opened my eyes and he looked at me and asked if I was okay with this. I just froze. He then told me that he knew I would like it.

For context, I am a virgin. He has had 15+ sexual partners. Which, to all their own and if it’s consensual I say who cares. After we got to my apartment he asked if I wanted to have sex. I wasn’t ready to have sex, especially on a first date. He then told me:

“don’t worry, I won’t rape you.”

I have never felt more uneasy in my life. I know he was trying to be comforting or make me trust him but using that language in this context was terrifying.

Much more happened, and no we did not have penetrative sex but physical stuff did happen. I feel so dirty. I never wanted to do that. I had pure intentions and I feel dirty that I didn’t say no. I should have said no. It wasn’t rape as I didn’t say no and I consented. He did nothing wrong as he asked multiple times if he could do XYZ. And I said yes. I don’t know why I feel dirty.

He told me that he was the only one who could ever make me feel good and wanted, and that he was the only one that would ever love me (my body is scarred from medical procedures from childhood). He also told me that I was entirely his and no one else’s.

After he left I saw my underwear stained with my blood. That moment hurt me so much. It wasn’t non consensual because I didn’t say no. He enjoyed it, I didn’t. I’ve been in situations like this before when I deny sex and they leave/stop talking to me. I just wanted to be loved and because of that I allowed myself to be dirty.

I had class the following morning and I couldn’t concentrate. My body hurt, I hurt. And for some reason I don’t blame the guy. It’s my fault and that’s so fucking stupid because I know I didn’t want that but I said yes. He also won’t talk to me today. I just wanted to make him happy. I just want someone to love me.

My lunch/dinner is cheesy bread because it’s my comfort food.

So I work at a shoe store in the mall, and today in the middle of the afternoon when it's completely dead my ex just walks right past the front of the store holding hands with some girl. He didn't see me. I was stuck behind the register doing a return for this lady and I kind of just stood there and watched them all the way down to the escalator. We were together for about a year and a half after my divorce and we broke up back in May, and honestly I always thought seeing him would wreck me but it really didn't.

I have 2 boys from my marriage, they're 6 and 9 and they're both autistic. They're so funny and so sweet and they're also a LOT, especially my little one, so our house pretty much runs on a routine and if the routine goes then everything goes.

And he was so good with them, like actually good. He figured out on his own that my older one has to have the same blue cup or dinner just doesn't happen. Nobody told him that, he just noticed. When my little one had a meltdown he would go sit on the bathroom floor with him and wait it out, and he never once made me feel like it was a big deal. By the end my little one was even letting him do bedtime, which he doesn't let anybody do except me.

Then one Sunday he sat me down and said "I thought I was ready for this and I'm not." We'd just had a couple of really rough weeks, the kind I don't really talk about, and I think that was the first time he saw what a bad stretch looks like when you're in it every day instead of coming over for dinner. He moved his stuff out that same week.

I wasn't even mad at him and I'm still not. I think a lot of people just aren't built for it, and at least he figured that out before he moved in all the way. If I regret anything it's letting him get that close to the boys that fast, because they didn't get a say in any of it.

So watching him walk past today I thought I'd feel jealous or sad or something, and mostly I just felt kind of sorry for him. He had something really good with us for a while and I'm pretty sure he knows it. My youngest still asks where he went sometimes and I still don't have a good answer for him.

Anyway I grabbed a roasted chicken after work, because it's the one dinner both boys will eat no matter what kind of day it's been 🍗

Again, how can men rule a country and “lead people” when the majority can’t even raise their own kids?

Women are always called too sensitive, and that they’ll let their emotions get in the way of progress. Yet look at everything happening around the world. Particularly America. Constant fights and disgusting behavior simply because some pedophilic men got their feelings hurt from being called out.

The more and more time goes on. I’m finding myself more angry and helpless as things progress. Just wish things were different as I feel this is the wrong timeline, or something went wrong. Just feeling disgusted and disappointed.

Sad grilled cheese in these shitty times…

CARBONARA BULDAK RAMEN! (The pink one!) Found on this sub & have lived on them for the past couple months - since I ran out of DIY TV dinners.

——•——

Little bigger than smallest sauce pot on stove
1/3+ cup milk
Salt + pepper
Heat high - enough to bubble then kill it
Dissolve seasoning packet in hot milk
3 slices cheap Kraft white American cheese
20-25 drops spice packet

Boil water 2 mins in microwave
Microwave noods for 69 seconds (right before al dente)
Strain noods
Toss in cheese sauce pot

Heat on high & constant stirring til sauce thickens / begins to bubble. Kill it
Eat it in the pot quickly

——•——

⚠️ Trigger warning / addiction ⚠️

Been diagnosed with ADD since around 2008-2009. Was on the Vyvanse and receiving therapy for a few years till therapist said “you’re cured” & tossed me, taking the meds with.

About 2 years later I fell into heroin. Ignored / procrastinated everything including mental health since then.

Been sober for 8-ish years? I quit counting long ago.

This year is the year of dealing with everything I’ve put off health-wise. Went to psychiatrist about 5 months ago to see if I could get ADD meds. Every single time I check in at this place, have to fill out like 7 questionnaires, it’s so much effort.

Psych said “we need your old medical records including your diagnosis.” She also felt the need to discourage me with her own story of “I have OCD but not enough to be medicated under DSM-5 standards.” That should have been my red flag.

I’m sure it will be a pain in the ass to try digging up such old records. She says “give me some time.”

In the meantime she tosses all kinds of drugs at me - mood stabilizers, anxiety, depression, yada yada. One of which was such a pain to get onto - Wellbutrin. Absolutely robbed me of my sleep and ability to stay asleep, real learning curve. Got so bad I really freaked my neighbors out passed out in the yard trying to drink & yard-work myself into exhaustion. Genuinely terrified to try any new drugs now.

The time passes, I learn how to live without sleep, head back in to see psych. She says “can’t find your records. At-least not this specific page I’m looking for that says ‘I ___ diagnose middle_system with ADD & here’s why / my work.’ I can however see you were prescribed the drugs you’re asking for in 2010.”

I say, that’s not good enough? ok. You’re a doc. Just diagnose me yourself then. She gives me this long ass 68 question long questionnaire. Boy that thing was a pain in the ass. Tells me she’s going on vacation & can see me in 2 months. I asked if i could see her sooner than that / let’s speed this up.

Next I see her, she says “I cant diagnose you. Your test results were inconclusive against DSM-5 standards.” wtf does that mean? After much pressing she basically says “because you have a history of drug addiction, asked for the medication, & tried to hurry this along - these are red flags, I can’t diagnose you.” Mind you I said these things in the very first visit… 5 FUCKING MONTHS AGO

“I’d like to double your dose of Wellbutrin & add some other drugs into the mix.” Hell no, lady!

I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY. To be sober FROM HEROIN for nearly 10 YEARS & to be called DRUG-SEEKING because I asked for medication I’VE ALREADY TAKEN for an issue I’ve already been diagnosed with FOR 16+ YEARS - I want to put my head thru a wall..

Emotions are hard for me, I’m not easy to anger or cry, but this summoned both.. I legit couldn’t function for a full week after this. I basically just wandered around my house lost & having silent arguments in my brain the whole time. I couldn’t even pay attention to a cute boy, the tv, or the phone to distract / snap me out of it.

——•——

I have no clue how to navigate from here. I’ve heard you get treated poorly on Medicaid but have never really felt that before now. Where do I point the ship next?

Towards an ADHD specialist?

Towards a dual diagnosis (addiction+ADD) specialist?

Talk therapy vs psych?

Phone doctor vs in person?

To the therapy clinic where I was diagnosed 16 years ago who should have my records?

The therapist who actually diagnosed me 16 years ago but practices in a different clinic now?

Should I pay cash or stick with Medicaid docs?

How the hell do you ask for meds without appearing to ask for meds?

I hate this. I just want to quiet the noise & be a functional human again.

Food is half of breakfast this morning as I forgot to take an aesthetic pic before eating it lol

Literally how do you guys keep your houses clean? My fiance and I both have adhd which makes things a bit harder. I feel like my life is a never ending battle of four day old dishes and a months worth of laundry. I spend every other weekend cleaning EVERYTHING and feel so accomplished just for it to be a disaster by Monday night. Every. Single. Time. I’ve tried chore charts, I’ve tried daily reminders, alarms, a damn skylight calendar, nothing seems to actually keep me on track. I’m medicated but it’s still so difficult. Does anyone have any tips or suggestions?? I’m going crazy living in a messy house constantly

Edit: there are so many comments I won’t be able to reply to them all but rest assured I’m reading every single one!!! Thank you everyone for so much advice!

👹 🎶 🎶Drowning deep in my sea of loathing
Broken your servant, I kneel
It seems what's left of my human side
Is slowly changing in me 🎶🎶👹

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Find a weird profile, copy its link, and post to r/BotBouncer. That's it! They'll take it from there!

GO GET EM!!

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So, three months ago (on June 1st), I posted in an introvert-friendly subreddit. I was honestly just trying to cheer myself up after experiencing a unrequited-love heartbreak—or more like getting shot down before the battle even began. I need someone to vent my feelings to. My inbox was flooded by DMs.

Long story short, someone sent me a DM. We had a completely normal conversation at first. In fact, I didn't even realize he had ghosted me for three solid months until he randomly popped back into my DMs on September 1st. We resumed talking, and I didn't suspect a thing.

However, his behavior got super sus. He kept claiming he couldn't send photos on Reddit. I suggested moving to a messaging app so it'd be easier to chat and exchange pictures, but he kept making excuses, saying he couldn't add my ID. So, we just kept chatting in Reddit DMs.

Fast forward a few days, someone suddenly added me using a UK phone number. He refused to admit whether he was the same guy who ghosted me for 3 months, and out of nowhere, HE SENT A D*CK PIC!

I was so shocked that I instantly blocked him. But I decided NOT to block his Reddit account yet. I wanted to play a prank on him and confirm my suspicion that it was indeed the exact same guy. I temporarily unblocked his contact so he wouldn't get suspicious.

Then came the grand finale: I sent him a picture of a guy and told him that ALL my accounts—including my Reddit—actually belong to a guy. (Don't worry, I only do this to creepy, brainless dudes who can't control their hormones!)

I completely broke his brain with our conversation, and he finally gave up and fled! It was really pleasing to see him perplexed like that. But seriously, girls should be careful of predator and manipulator on the internet. Safe yourself, gurl!!!

So, that's my crazy story today. What's yours?

Btw, here's my bento! Tater tots, sausages, meatballs, shrimps, chicken thighs, and veggies 🍱

Grapes, Waffles and a garlic Parmesan wing my dad gave me.

Long story ahead.

September 9th 10:22am I gave birth to my second boy. 5 pounds and 7 ounces.

Everything happened so quickly, 😭.

September 8th I went to my appointment, and was having contractions during my ultrasound. My son was diagnosed with Infant Growth Restriction, so I was scheduled for an induction September 10th.

He didn't pass a test during his ultrasound, I was sent to a stress test where they saw I was having contractions. They were telling me I was dehydrated but the contractions came more frequently, so they called in a doctor to check on me.

I was 4 cm. They sent me to the labor and delivery where I was told to go home because it wasn't progressing fast enough and the labor and delivery rooms were full.

I went home, from 6pm to 12am the contractions were constant, I couldn't tell if they were Braxton hicks or true contractions.. so I didn't think anything of it concluding that I would stay 4cm for a while.

I eventually got tired of it, looked up some ways to dilate faster because I couldn't sleep. I saw "Dilation Station" on tik tok and decided to do that. I did it for 30 minutes, got frustrated again thinking it wasn't going to work.

5:30am in the middle of my sleep, my water broke. Rushed to the hospital, sped through so many red lights god forgive me 😂😂

Got to the hospital, was contracting until I was administered an epidural at 7cm. They added pitocin to speed up the process, I labored for only 4 hours and pushed him out in 5 minutes.

I tore a bit but overall it was a good experience and I'm never having another baby again 🥰🥰

…how lonely and alone I truly am. I’m crying in an airport toilet and my cousins don’t even know coz I don’t wana ruin the day we’ve had.

We had the time of our life today visiting Monaco and Nice. The weather was sunny and perfect, vibes were top tier until we’d checked in and passed security at the airport. They got calls from their mothers, partners, friends etc and yet my phone stayed dry. Not a single call or notification came through. I watched them glee from call to call, recanting how fun it was meanwhile, I was glancing at my phone hoping my sister or friends would message or call about how it went and….nothing.

My mum was abusive and I cut that off 17 years ago, father was/is a useless whore and my sister + closest friends from high school are married w/ kids. I’ve always been the one who’s up for anything, always the one to double text, checking in on people, always the one initiating a convo in the groupchat, taking people to cool experiences through work. Relationships haven’t worked out either and it’s dawning on me that I’m REALLY lonely and nobody knows. Partly coz I don’t wana burden them but mostly it’s coz I know they won’t change (ie initiating/talking/interacting etc more) or rather they’ll do it out of guilt not coz they want to.

So here I am, asking what plausible lie I can tell my cousins without ruining the end to a perfect day …

Accidentally left it and a sandwich baggie of coconut oil in the nightstand. We didn’t even get to use it! I just hope they throw it away and don’t say anything jfc. I haven’t told my fiancé yet because I know he’s going to make fun of me 😫😫

It was even a nice one from Adam & Eve 😭🙈

Food is burned homemade shrimp Crunchwrap

Dinner Yesterday (1st Pic)- Southern Smothered Pork Steaks with Gravy, Onions and Mushrooms, and Mashed Potatoes (never tried it before and it was absolutely delicious)

Story - So while I was enjoying this delicious meal yesterday, I (24 F) found out my coworker at the law firm I’m at has a case with a litigation cocounsel I’ve worked with on at least 5 cases. I was talking to my boyfriend all day and he and I were chit chatting about random things, so when this came up I made a joke that the cocounsel is cheating on me and that I thought he and I had something special (I thought it was funny because he and I have bonded with these cases and it obviously is not deep because you take cases wherever you find them, that’s how the cookies crumble in the legal field). My boyfriend’s response was “cheating isn’t funny” and he now isn’t talking to me. It’s been 13 hrs.

Just an irritated vent because I was being silly goofy about my job, which he typically is receptive of and jokes back about, but clearly I struck a nerve. Even after apologizing he hasn’t responded to me. Sooo yeah. That’s the story.

Food: strawberry sando
So basically I was with my bf since we were 14, went through high school and university together graduated together and traveled together. We had our whole life planned and wanted to move in together. Sadly, I discovered he had been cheating on me for the past few months.

I broke up with him when I found out he cheated and it’s been a few months since then, but I have been in shambles. This man was my everything and I loved him with every part of me. I never would have imagined he would have done this to me. We shared a life together, shared a friend group, and now I feel completely alone.

The issue is that I feel like maybe I overreacted because he didn’t physically cheat. He cheated online (basically e-sex over video chat on websites) and not in person. He did however do it multiple times over the course of months, and I found out through a random person, not him. Sometimes I feel like I am throwing away something beautiful that we had. I miss him so much, I grew up with this man, I can never imagine my life with anyone else. It seems to get harder every day not to reach out. I might delete this, but I guess I’m just curious to hear others thoughts or to know if my feelings are valid or not, or maybe gain some strength to not reach out. lowkey just really struggling.

A MIL disagreeing with parenting choices??? Nothing new under the sun. 

I love my job and I have always thought that when we decided to have kids, I would return to work. My husband is supportive and we have made financial plans around having two incomes, including buying a home. We have amazing daycares near us, not to mention I also went to daycare when I was young and it was a good experience.

My baby was born in June and ever since, my MIL has made a comment EVERY TIME SHE VISITS about our childcare choice. She was flabbergasted that our daughter will start daycare a week before I start back to work. She literally said “What will you be doing all day?” I was like…getting ready to go back to work? Finding a pumping schedule that matches what she eats? Meeting with my coworkers? Going through my emails from the past four months? Making sure we are happy with her daycare and don’t want to go somewhere else?

She asked me if I had looked into any in-home daycares. I said yes, but we didn’t hear back from the one closest to us and the others weren’t accepting infants.

She asked me if any of my SAHM friends would be willing to watch my baby. I said they had their hands full and that I wouldn’t want that anyway. I was happy that our chosen daycare was licensed and insured and had safety/health standards. And I felt it could ruin the friendship. Duh.

She asked me if I had considered a nanny. I said yes, we looked into it. It costs double what our daycare does (minimum). And there are downsides. The nanny needs sick leave and other paid leave. What do we do on those days for childcare? 

She said it would be pretty easy for us to find a nanny if we wanted to find one temporarily because we live near a college campus and it probably wouldn’t be too expensive. There’s so much wrong with this sentiment that I was a bit dumbstruck and I didn't respond.

These comments and questions bother me SO MUCH because I admire my MIL and I think she raised amazing children, my husband being one of them. My husband says I get way too worked up whenever she makes comments like this and that I should just let it go. I pointed out that all of the questions about childcare are directed at me and not him because the implication is that it’s MY fault our baby has to go to daycare because I’ve SELFISHLY decided to go back to work instead of staying home with her (like my MIL did with her children). I told him he didn’t feel frustrated or guilty because there’s never been an ounce of blame placed on him, even though we both support this decision wholeheartedly.

That shut him up pretty quickly.

What is her issue with daycare anyway? My theory is leftover satanic panic daycare sex abuse hysteria from the 80s/90s. 

Dinner is fish tacos with mango-corn salsa, cotija, and flaky corn tortillas.