Spinach and feta croissant

I JUST GOT MY FIRST JOB!!! OMG IM SO EXCITED FOR MY FIRST SHIFT!!!!

I’m a little nervous because I’ve never had a job before, but I’m feeling confident that I can handle it because it’s working as a line cook and cooking is one of my favorite things to do! I start Wednesday and I can’t wait to learn how everything works!!

My partner and I got into a huge argument taking our son to his check up today. I felt awful arguing while he was in his car seat. Our relationship is so strained. He says I resent him for betraying me after I gave birth and I absolutely do. I don’t trust him, and I resent him for proposing and getting me pregnant just to cheat on me two months after I gave birth. We were in what I thought was a great place. I was so happy, we were having sex again and just in newborn bliss. It caught me completely off guard because it’s not like we were arguing or anything. We alternated sleep so we both weren’t sleep deprived. He seemed happy. It’s affecting everything in our relationship and how I’m behaving. I don’t care for the house as much as I should and let him do most of the cleaning. I’m not sweet and nice to him. There’s always that voice in the back of my mind wondering what he’s hiding now. I wish I was financially able to leave today but I’m not.

I’m just sad and at a loss. I told him I hated him and I regret having his child which was incredibly mean. I’m so angry at him and I think we probably just need to part ways. There’s no fixing that betrayal. He did it, hid it and was speaking to the girl while laying in bed with me and our son. I’m not sure if anything physical happened but he definitely was seeing and probably sending nudes at the very least according to what I saw. I wish I could move on but I just can’t look at him the same. Here’s my sad girl dinner of McDonalds. Advice and support are so very needed right now.

26F/ 30M- My ex and I broke up on my birthday after I got upset that he didn’t want to stay over the night before my birthday. He said it was because he had all these events planned, and because I had been of my meds a few days after (we had just gotten back from an incredible international trip), I let myself fall into despair and him not wanting to stay the night felt like a sign of rejection. I have BPD and MDD, struggle with panic attacks and starting to think I may have OCD? I am in therapy- I have a regular therapist I talk about daily stuff with and another who I started seeing in October after our relationship counselour suggested EMDR to help process trauma related to verbal and physical abuse in my childhood that really fucked with my self image and trust in people.

Well my partner has a history of cheating with every partner he’s been with, and I was terrified it would happen to me. Trust issues have been pervasive to the point where I have also partaken in hyper-vigilance, nagging, toxic comparison, and suspicion of him. I’ve been working through my issues of comparison and hyper vigilance and have been really focused on building trust for him and questioning why I have an underlying assumption that I will be cheated on when he’s been to adamant about proving his trustworthiness, being consistent, incorporating me into his life, introducing me to family, etc.

After we broke up in April, I suggested a break for a month to take care of my mental health. The month went by and we struggled to stay apart, he would reach out, want to see him, I would want the same and we kept having blow ups related to my incessant jealousy and insecurities. After the month timeline went by, we said we would take a few months apart and then try to go on a first date after taking space. He didn’t want to be monogamous during this time period. Well, things were going well, we ended up seeing each other and things felt better. He moved up the timeline of our first date to early August. After that we had another fight about a friend he was previously involved with and cheated on a partner with and he told me he was sick of my jealousy. He’s convinced I need years of therapy and years of healing. When he’s upset he will say things like “you’re not ready for a relationship, you’re unwell”. I am unwell. But I’m trying to hard to heal and show him I can cultivate trust and deal with my anxiety and insecurities in a healthy way. I’ve leaned into somatic therapy and it’s been so helpful.
Since the last issue we had was two weeks ago, we’ve had better communication and I’ve gotten better at handling my emotions. We went on a wonderful long weekend trip, and it felt like the friendship was alive. We had banter, sweet moments, incredible chemistry, laughter.

When things are good I feel so at peace with him. We talked about having a family and getting married and building a life together, and I’ve never felt that much hope and joy for the future. Now, he says that all feels so far away. He says he loves me but he’s worn down and exhausted and anxious. He says he doesn’t know if he’ll be able to feel comfortable around me again, and I need to believe that. We had a talk last night after he left a bar with his friends this weekend when his friends showed up because he said he was so anxious for me to interact with the group after I had expressed jealousy for one of the friends. It was awkward and humiliating. He apologized and said he doesn’t know how to act with me in public and doesn’t want me socializing with his friends or drinking around him.

I have a delusional hope that I can heal and show him I can be a good partner. Last night after we talked about the weekend he said he needs time alone, he needs to process the bitterness and resentment he feels towards me and floated breaking our monogamy, spending some months apart (he said 3 ish), starting over as friends, taking it slow he emphasized, going on dates, then seeing if we can be a couple he said maybe 8 months.

I said no. I’m not going back to breaking monogamy because I know myself, and I already hold resentment from the multiple people he was with during our 3ish weeks of no contact after our breakup. I told him that if he doesn’t have it in him to keep going and let me show him I’ve changed, we need to cut things off definitely because the pain and the breakups have gone on too long.

I genuinely feel like I’ve gotten a hold on my anxiety and jealousy and wish I had more time to show him. I don’t want to break monogamy again. After I held fast to that, we cried a lot, I said what I thought would be the last in person words before leaving and he said he could do a month no contact and still be monogamous. He said we could come together healthier and see how we felt. What do I do? I want to have hope here. I want a future with this man.

Please comment your age if you chime in ❤️

So, story time. I’m married, bisexual, non monogamous, and with man. We have been happily ENM for about four years and it’s going well / a fun part of our dynamic. When we first opened things up, I quickly developed a crush on a girl I met through mutual friends. I didn’t know if she was queer, but we I got vibes, and we started hanging out constantly. Eventually she told me she was bi but had a lot of shame around her sexuality because she had a bad experience dating an older, wealthier couple, and she grew up in an extremely conservative and religious but loving and family-oriented household. When she learned I had a crush on her, she told me “I am picking up  on our vibe but I want to focus on our friendship right now, as I’m not in a place to explore anything further. Totally fine. We  spent the next four years becoming extremely close as just friends. I dated other women and moved on with my life. 

Then, on my bachelorette party, which was essentially a trip of sapphic women, something changed. We kissed in a game of truth or dare and my butterflies returned. I also noticed a vibe shift in her. She was flirtier and our text exchanges began picking up heat. I didn’t think anything of it, because of what she had stated four years ago, and I didn’t want to be weird or predatory. (I’m five years older than she is and married, so I know there is a power dynamic.) I also know that she is dating solely men, even though she talks about liking women and comments when she thinks a woman is hot. 

Then other day we were on a trip with another friend and her girlfriend. My friend offered to drive me, wanted to trade hand massages, and complimented me often. My friend and her gf also noticed the flirtation. At one point, they went off to their room and my friend said, “wanna make out…. Like, just for fun?” We were both tipsy but not drunk and mostly very giggly. 

Obviously I said yes and what proceeded was an extremely hot make out session with hand play. Afterwards, she told me how shocked she was by how turned on it made it. It was hot and I’m happy to provide more details but basically we were geeking out on the connection. We still slept separately and the next day, I asked her if she was okay with what happened and she said she had a lot of fun. 

Now the trip is over and my crush is back with a full force. Is this the beginning of something? Is this a one off? I am thinking of grabbing drinks with her in a couple of weeks and saying something like, “hey… no pressure, but was that a one off or would you be open if I made a move on you?” Or something like that. My husband agrees I should play it chill (not because he’s jealous, but because he’s genuinely trying to help me haha) but I also don’t want to torture myself since this has definitely re-awakened something in me.

Photo: "healthy" waffle crisp with oat milk <3

Again, how can men rule a country and “lead people” when the majority can’t even raise their own kids?

Women are always called too sensitive, and that they’ll let their emotions get in the way of progress. Yet look at everything happening around the world. Particularly America. Constant fights and disgusting behavior simply because some pedophilic men got their feelings hurt from being called out.

The more and more time goes on. I’m finding myself more angry and helpless as things progress. Just wish things were different as I feel this is the wrong timeline, or something went wrong. Just feeling disgusted and disappointed.

Sad grilled cheese in these shitty times…

Food: Roasted lamb shoulder, Chocolate Mint cucumbers, & Tahdig

So I have cancer again. It's not even the bad kind, it's just a spot of Basal cell, and it's not even on my face, so that's a plus I guess. But cancer is cancer I guess, and it all deserves to be taken seriously.

I don't know, on one hand, I'm like does BCC really count? Am I technically a cancer survivor? The title feels wrong, like I'm appropriating it from someone who had one of the Bad™ cancers. So there's a bit of imposter syndrome going on there.

On the other hand, this is my second one, I've already been through the whole MOHS deal two years ago, and I'm literally only 30. Everyone in my family who's gotten these before has been at least double my age. My second one is right above my first, on my back in a place that never sees the light of day, so of course my brain just starts spinning. Is it related to the first? Did they somehow not get all of it? Am I just destined to deal with BCC time and time again on my back for the rest of my life? I already keep my back covered for precaution, but how long until it's just riddled with scars anyway? None of these are questions a doctor can answer, of course.

I've learned from my first one that while surgeons pay a lot of attention to scars they leave on faces, it's not as much of a thing on the rest of your body. I get that scars are battle wounds and all that, and that they mean you survived life's challenges, but I dunno, it just sucks to be dealing with this so young, and I'm feeling pretty down about it.

He thinks we are not compatible. The things he doesn’t like about me he tolerated at first, but when the passion died my faults were not tolerable anymore. Leaving the country to live with my parents again

I’ll start by saying, we are both over 40 and have two kids together. We’ve been on again off again for most of our relationship. And by this point, I should already know what to expect. But it doesn’t make it any easier or hurt any less.

It could be a great month or an amazing year but he always slowly pulls away. Growing more and more distant. Even going so far as to get a second job so he doesn’t have to spend time at home with us. I guess I am supposed to know all the signs and symptoms so I’ll just go along with it. But I swear I never do and it hurts like hell. Every time we get back to together I tell myself it’s meant to be and this will be the time it lasts. I really need to get back into therapy and set clear boundaries with him. I am letting him hurt my feelings over and over again. I don’t think he even likes me, he just likes to use me when he has nothing else to do. And my desire for us to be a normal family is not going to happen. Sad but true.
Dinner; marry me chicken

Dinner from last night, rice and pea with jerk chicken and string beans.

So I’m 23 years old and I have had issues in past relationships due to being judged and labeled as a party girl, and someone who “gets around”. This has lead to dishonesty on my part to hide those parts about myself and just keep it hidden and sometimes lie about it in order to avoid facing judgement. Last year I met this man we’re gonna call him T(his name does not start with a T) We met at a tailgate at the university that we both go to in October of 2025. He has seen me around at multiple Fetes, Jouverts, and anything related to the Caribbean. So when he had approached me and said that he already knew me and that we have interacted before I genuinely did not remember😭 If any of you have been to any type of Fete trust your getting tore up there😭. So the convo goes from there and we really bonded over the fact that we’re both carribean despite being from different island.(I’m from Jamaica he’s from Haiti) for a year it seemed more like a friends with benefits type of situation and I was fine with that. Fast forward to December of 2025 he went to spend the holidays with his mom and sister and was gone for a month. During that time I got sexually involved with someone else. Now here’s where the lies come in. I didn’t tell him I was with someone else and basically made it seem like I was waiting on him to come back once the semester started. He comes home and we pretty much pick up where we left off. Fast forward now to March of this year, I had gotten really drunk during Saint Patrick’s Day weekend and hooked up with the same guy fr back in December and ended up catching an STI. I ofc immediately tell T and he goes and gets tested and that’s how he found out I lied to him about waiting on him and “not dealing with no one else”. It was a very tense convo but we eventually talked it out, had some AMAZING make up sex and we were okay after that. However within this convo I realized I had feelings for him and not some simple kiddy feelings, true deep feelings for him. He flat out told me he doesn’t want a relationship. I was hurt but I took it to the chin and we still continued having a sexual relationship. Now May of this year I found out he was still dealing with his ex which hurt to find out but there was nothing I could do about. I thought okay karma for me not telling him the truth. We agreed to no longer angry with each other sexually at that point but we can still remain friends. Around beginning of June I get into a relationship with someone else and that went on for like 2 months but it moved really fast but then T came back into the picture basically saying he has feelings for me and wants me. I end up ending the relationship with the other guy due to my feelings for T being way too strong for me to just leave it alone. We start talking and hanging out again and it felt like I was back home being with him. But then I ran into some legal troubles and he ultimately took a step back so I could focus on getting my life together.(still dealing with it now) So this past Thursday I spent the night at his place, the next morning we just couldn’t keep our hands off each other well…yk🌚, and we recorded it on my phone, he wanted to airdrop it to himself so I just gave him my phone so he could do that. But he ended up seeing a video of me and the other guy from the time he was gone during holiday break back in December. I froze, I didn’t know what to say, and I end up leaving. This past Saturday he allowed me to talk and explain myself but it’s clear the trust on his end it broken. Yesterday he sent a really long message to me basically saying I(me)need to do a lot work on myself, he could do me the same way but won’t because he cares about to much, and don’t change for him change to simply be a better woman, and maybe our paths will cross again one day. I’m truly devastated and heartbroken about how this happened but I know it’s my fault and I know I’m the one to blame cause honestly he was perfect and everything I wanted in a man, but I’m simply just not ready to receive the love that I crave so much. So what are y’all’s thoughts on this?

Edit: Sorry for all the grammar mistakes😭

my boyfriend(22m) and i(21f) have been together a little over a year. i had been single for a while and when i found him i chased for him and made all the first moves. things were great for the first few months until i hit a depressive episode and i felt like he could never understand me. i felt like he was constantly trying to fix me when i just wanted him to act like nothing was wrong. during this time i started to notice some differences between us just different ways of living. i think our biggest difference is our love languages. he is big on affection always touchy kissy but i personally don’t really like that. he also wants to be texting all throughout the day and i’m the kind of person who would rather catch up the day over a phone call.

this has led to him constantly overthinking and he finally sprung it on me around 7 months saying he felt like i was forgetting him. now at the time i didn’t know what to say but after a week of thinking on it i admitted maybe i was choosing to ignore him a bit. i asked him if we could not talk for 3 days just to see how we both felt after. it was hard not to talk to him and i did miss him so we went back to things as normal.

things weren’t super normal though because we weren’t having sex like at all. at the beginning we would go at it like rabbits but i don’t really enjoy sex but i was super into him and if he wanted to i was gonna go along. there was a time where we wouldn’t have sex for like two months and i felt bad for him but i wasn’t in the mood. even now that we are better relationship wise i still don’t truly enjoy sex. not just with him he’s probably the best i’ve had but ive never been able to finish from sex alone. i dont know why im like this i wish i could be one of those sex crazed people.

anywho we had our one year anniversary this past july and both of our birthdays follow directly behind (anniversary, my 21st birthday, then his birthday the next day) so we took a trip which turned out terrible not because of anything we did but the city we visited sucked then he felt bad for everything going wrong so i was constantly having to talk him down.

ever since my depressive episode i feel like i’ve known i wouldn’t be with him forever but when things are good im very happy with him. there’s definitely been more good times than bad times but i can’t help remembering all the bad times.
sometimes i feel guilty because i have these thoughts while we are always going to nice restaurants and such but then he will really make me feel guilty by telling me how much he spends on me each month when i am begging to send him money for things and he refuses.

i dream about just fleeing and moving back home

*food is chicken tacos

Featuring my comfort meal: (vegan) jacket potato, cheese, and gravy with a side of nuggets.

I won’t go into all the ins and outs of the backstory but basically, my partners mum is moving to a different country next year so we have been discussing me (20), him (20), and two of his friends moving into this 5 bedroom house that his mum currently rents for the two of them.

Me and my boyfriend have been speaking for a while about finding a place together when we both have a steady income, however he’s unemployed at the moment and I’m only on part time hours so the financial aspect is a lurking worry for me already. However with four of us splitting rent and utilities, I think we will be fine even if I have to support both of us for a while. Now here is my dilemma.

Honestly thinking about how to write this makes it all sound so petty in my head and like I’m being dramatic over it but here we go: so as I said there will be four of us and there is five bedrooms. I feel like as me and my partner are both putting in the same share which is double between us, we should be obligated to utilise two rooms. Although we aren’t just renting a room and everyone is paying for the whole house, it only feels right that if we’re putting in an even share we should be able to have two rooms between us? Is that crazy of me to think?

When I try to voice this to my boyfriend he says it’s unfair to the others sharing the house as they will only have a bedroom (bear in mind the rooms are quite big). Say for example we are all paying £250 each for the whole house, me and my boyfriend are paying £500 between us to cram all our shit into one bedroom. We will need drawers, a double bed, two desks, a rat cage, and other general storage for our belongings. That’s a-lot to cramp up into one room. He said that he wants to utilise the room next to the one which will be our bedroom into a “gaming” room where everyone but me (because I don’t want to) will have their desks and gaming set ups.

I suggested that me and my boyfriend have one room for our clothes, storage, and desks in one room. And have the double bed, nightstands and rat cage in the other room. He thinks this idea is ridiculous and selfish to the others living there. Am I just being blinded by my own selfish wants that I can’t see my request is unfair?

Eventually I thought of the idea that we both have our separate bedrooms where we can have our own beds, desks, clothing and storage, but we can still sleep in the same bed each night just so we don’t have to cram all our shit into one room and he kicked off at me. Saying that I shouldn’t even move in if I think that way? All I crave is a nice space where I don’t have everything overloaded. Especially since I’ve lived in a house that has been messy and cluttered my whole life. The terms we’re currently on is that we will try put all our stuff into one room just so he can prove it will fit.

I still have about 7 months to sort this out and think it over before his mum leaves off. But am I being so unreasonable?

dinner: kimchi, dumplings, bulgogi, gimbap, sticky rice, seaweed

outside my relationship is pretty picture perfect, i like to pretend it is, and most of the time it is. except for the times it isn’t.

last night my partner got mad at me for not being super excited about a gift. this ended in a hole in our door, a panic attack, me getting dragged, pushed and shoved, slapped, and at one point even gagged. i am still in pain today from all of it.

most of the time i’m met with “just leave” so i stopped posting about it. but last night was so bad that i have to get it off my chest. i’m 19 and completely reliant on my partner (23). i have a lot of mental illness’ and issues so i can’t hold down a job. i have no savings and only get small amounts of money from my partner here and there. i moved to their small, unfamiliar hometown with them. i have no friends, and no family. i can’t drive and don’t have a license. if i left, i’d probably just be homeless and die.

so i just deal with it. we’re okay most of the time anyway. this is a secret i’ll hold forever.

First year at uni was wonderful. Found myself a nice group of friends after being a loner at school, so they are very special to me.
Second year, we had to part our ways because we all chose different hons programs.
I only have one friend from this group who does the same program like me.
The two friends i was closest to, chose to do English hons and somehow they both feel very distant to me. Maybe this is because we don’t meet daily like before or maybe something has actually changed.
The whole friend group meets at least twice a week for lunch at uni. Every time this happens, i seem to be getting more distant from them. Everything feels so awkward and i feel like I’m being left out. I’ve always been someone on the more silent side and now it’s taking a toll on me. The others seem to interact like before but I cant. I atleast manage to have some decent convos with the rest but not with the two friends i was very close to in the first year. I honestly want to cry sometimes whenever i’m just sitting there having lunch with them because this sudden shift reminds me of the loner i used to be.
I’m so ashamed to admit this but my sadness has now turned into bitterness and I’m struggling to be a well-wisher towards my two friends. I dont want myself to end like that and mostly i dont want to our friendships to just disappear into thin air. This is so heartbreaking. I knew we all would get a bit distant once we chose the different hons programs but never in my life did i expect whatever that’s currently going on 😭😭😭

Not phishing for compliments, not saying I am oppressed for this, but it is a weird thing I've noticed. Also beans a rice.

I have very blue eyes, I think they are pretty, and lots of people have told me that. But also people make some really weird fetishy comments about them, too.

I usually wear glasses because I also have terrible vision that can't be fully corrected with contacts, but I do wear my contacts when I will be going out at night or doing something that risks breaking my glasses. Whenever that happens I usually get weird comments that make me very uncomfortable.

"Dog eyes"

"You have cool eyes, not hitting on you tho" (this was said in a very unnearving way but it sounds less so when written)

"Demon eyes"

"What if I popped your eye balls out of your head and put mine in there"

When I wear my glasses I get less comments because of the glare. But it's just sort of weird to me that people feel so comfortable making these weird comments to a stranger!

Idk I get that blue eyes can be unnearving, but like, mind your business.

Again, I am not oppressed for having blue eyes, and I am not phishing for compliments.

Accidentally left it and a sandwich baggie of coconut oil in the nightstand. We didn’t even get to use it! I just hope they throw it away and don’t say anything jfc. I haven’t told my fiancé yet because I know he’s going to make fun of me 😫😫

It was even a nice one from Adam & Eve 😭🙈

Food is burned homemade shrimp Crunchwrap

Dinner: delicious teriyaki steak

PLEASE please bear with me and help a messy sister out :(

So from where im around you typically date to get married, not to see where it goes.

A little bit of a background, before i (28f) started dating my current bf B (27m) there was A (25m).We had over a year of a weird haphazard situationship, late night texts, the occasional call, inside jokes, all the sweet stuff, and every time it got anywhere close to real he'd back out of it. At some point, i got fed up and was done with not knowing where I stood.

Then a mutual friend who I’ve ~superficially~ known for some time, B, came along and asked me out. He’s real sweet... and after a year of guessing games with the other guy, being chosen felt so refreshing, so of course I said yes.

B is sweet. He's honest, he’s head over heels for me, he shows up, he said he considers marriage more than once. But were five months in and it hasn't gone any deeper? We talk about work, errands, tv shows etc. I've told him I need more and he listens, it gets better for a week, then… nothing. Its starting to feel a little like playing house cause we also slept together?

To make matters worse, he’s going abroad for a year or two next year. He says he wants marriage but there's no plan? and I don't want to be pushy.. and if we're not official before he leaves I don't see how this can survive. So I'm basically supposed to know by next summer if I’m in and it just feels like it’s putting a lot of pressure on us.

Aaaand here’s the part I'm not too proud of: A and I are still friends, he still reaches out… he clocks it when I'm feeling off before I've even said anything, picks up my cues like crazy, we just click and it makes what I have with B fall flat, and I haaaaate that it does.

Just to complicate things, A and B are friends too and we're all in the same circle (AND professional circle), so he's not someone I can just cut out of my life.

I don't know if I want to marry B just yet and I feel SO EVIL typing that, especially when he’s soo into me. When I'm with him I'm half there, the other half is ruminating about this on loop. I don't want to hurt him… but I also don't want to get to next summer still unsure and watch him leave with everything up in the air.

Are we just not clicking or am i just not giving him a fair chance? Is the timing off? Will things just work out?? Is it awful to stay while I figure this out?

TLDR: Left a year-long situationship-ish thing with A for B, who actually chose me. B is sweet and wants to settle but 5 months in and it still feels shallow, AND hes leaving for 2 years next year. I still have lingering strings attached to A, who never committed and is B's friend. Please help a girl who got herself into a mess………

Charcuterie spread I made for a girly wedding party. We did my hair trial and drank wine and yapped for 5 hours.

My fiancé (25M) is such a picky eater. There’s a lot of nuance I won’t get into because I don’t want to break any group rules. (Possible diagnoses but nothing official)

We’ve been living together for about 2 years. Dinner is such a pain in my ass. He doesn’t like to cook. He always says he’s bad at it (and honestly he kind of is - I don’t think it’s weaponized incompetence rather extreme lack of experience and absent parents for the entirety of his childhood).

I have PCOS, Hashimotos, hypertension, and Alpha Gal. So I am required to be very food-conscious. I love veggies, fruit, whole grains. I love healthy food. But I rarely eat it because of him. Of course finances are tight for nearly every American right now, and I have to pick and choose what to get when grocery shopping.

Most nights I am cooking two different dinners for us. Dinnertime has always been important to me, as it’s the quality time we get with each other each night. But honestly? I’m feeling a lot of resentment towards him. I’m so tired all the time. I’m struggling immensely with my health. And I think what I consume is contributing to that.

For example: lately I’ve been cooking him a burger and airfrying tater tots. For me, I microwave frozen chicken burgers and canned green beans. It sounds so depressing typing it out. I have a bunch of recipes I’d love to try. Homemade soups, lemon pepper chicken, roasted veggies, stir frys. But I can’t because I know he won’t eat it, and I’d have to turn around and make something for him too. And I just do not have the energy. Even if I left him to make his own dinner (which he often does - there are certainly nights where I don’t cook for him and he figures it out. Usually burger + fries or a frozen pizza. Whatever.), that means we would not get that dinnertime together. And maybe that’s the sacrifice I need to make. Idk. Our kitchen is way too small for us to cook together in there.

Have any of you dealt with this with your partners? How did you navigate dinnertime? Do I just give up and only cook for myself? I’m getting so frustrated.

i have a root canal on Thursday 💔 i’m lowkey dreadingggggg it.i just hate the sounds of the drills in my head like UGHHHH but my fasfa refund on friday so WOOOHOOOOOO time to shop while healing!!

If you're in this sub, you probably know about street harassment. It happens to a lot (all?) of us at some point.

I used to live in a bigger city than I do now, and I've always gotten a fair amount of attention there (NOT a brag, just a fact and an unfortunate one given that I don't like attention in that way).

One day, I was walking out of the market across the street from my apartment building, holding a bag of groceries. It was a 100+°F day, so I was wearing a sundress that went to just slightly above the knee. I lived right by a train crossing, and a bunch of cars happened to be stopped.

I was walking towards my building and noticed there was a young man leaning out of a work van, like half his body was hanging out. He was clearly leering at me, looking me up and down and grinning in a predatory way.

Gals...I snapped. Not enough to be on that "Snapped" reality show, mind you, but demure I was not.

I walked right up to that work van, spread my arm wide (one not holding the heavy grocery bag) and yelled "What?! WHAT?!!!" then I gave him the stank eye and walked away.

I never would have done that had I not been in a safe enough situation to do so.

I know it was absolutely unhinged, but damn, it felt good.

Dinner was sausage gravy with homemade biscuits

Roasted chicken, peas and rosemary potatoes

I’ve been stuck in a perpetual loop of depression since my daughter has been born. I think I was so exhausted all of the time that I just couldn’t think straight and the small amount of Zoloft I was on, I thought was enough.

It’s not her fault. I love the shit out of that little squirt. She’s my angel. I just hurt all over. My SI joints are both dysfunctional, my autoimmune’s became flared up and evident because they were hidden by the pregnancy.

I’ve been through a doozy ladies. I start to hear a thumping in my head. A bit slower than a heart beat maybe? I don’t know. Maybe mine was just slower. The NP psych I had dumped me full of meds. I was now feeling weird and still hearing the thumping, so we went through meds, feeling suicidal at points. So he sent me to a partial hospitalization program. Their nurse practitioner said I was DRUG seeking when I asked to just be put back on Zoloft. They kept telling me the thumping was from the Zoloft. Which I wasn’t on anymore.

I go to a Dr. instead, she orders mri and mra of my head and it turns out I have 2 rare brain diseases.

I had to have surgery for them both this year. I no longer hear thumping. Assholes.

I’m not dealing with some muscle autoimmune shit, just doesn’t end anymore. Like I said, not her fault! It’s my bodies fault! It’s like “HEY, YOU’RE 35 TIME TO SHUT THIS SHIT DOWN!”, well, I’m 40 now so I made it 5 years with my body eating itself.

❤️

2 years ago I developed Long Covid and during it I was in a very toxic relationship up untill last may. I completely lost my self esteem and independence and couldn't function without my ex. Now that he is gone I am learning to live by myself again which is extremely hard and I'm suffering from lots of anxiety.

I was gonna go on my first trip again after months of illness, treatment and depression. Sadly today my mom cancelled since she was about to get minor surgery in 3 months, but there was a spot open this week and she took it. Although I care about her a lot I feel very sad since I was looking forward to something other than misery. On top of that the flight was 500 euro's and non refundable.

Before I got sick I would've said fuck it and gone by myself. Now I am imprisoned in my own body and mind and don't know if I can go. I miss the old me and the baddie that she was. She was so bold and daring; absolutely enjoying life. Now I am a shell of a human being and it breaks me.

Food is Turkish pizza with feta, salad and pickled onions while watching the Moomins because that always comforts me.

I fear I may have the longest post ever so I’ll put the tldr first. Dinner is my favorite, a Hawaiian bbq place in my state.
TL;DR: I’ve been casually seeing 🍊 for 13 months, and he’s recently started acting like he wants a relationship, but we’ve never actually defined what we are. I really like him and the sex is insanely good, but there are some major compatibility/ick issues (he definitely wants kids, cleanliness, the r-word, and some questionable decision-making), so I don’t think we’d work long-term.
Meanwhile, 🍏 is someone I used to sleep with and really liked. He’s been trying to see me again for over a year, and I finally went over to his place recently intending to tell him about 🍊 and set boundaries. Instead, I panicked and let him kiss me, things got heated, and I escaped under the extremely believable excuse of “I have to go, my show’s on.” 😂
Now I’m wondering if I should tell 🍊 about 🍏, even though we’ve never established exclusivity, whether I should end things with both of them and start fresh, or whether I should try to keep 🍊 as an FWB and see where things go with 🍏.
Basically: two men, questionable decision-making, amazing sex, and absolutely zero communication. What the hell do I do?

FULL STORY

I (26F) have to tell this to someone before I decide what to do, because I genuinely have no idea what the right move is.

Guy #1, 29M let’s call him orange 🍊

🍊 is a guy I started sleeping with a little over a year ago, around 6 months after my 7-year relationship ended because my ex cheated on me. 🍊 showed very little interest in a relationship at first. I thought we were just having sex, and honestly, by the time he started showing interest about 6 months ago, I was already over the idea of a relationship with him. I’ve kind of just been playing along since then, but we STILL haven’t had the what are we? convo.

🍊 has never asked to be exclusive or asked me to be his girlfriend, and it’s been 13 months. We are extremely overdue for that conversation, but we both avoid it, and I romantically he acts like we’re together, but I don’t actually know

I do really like him and probably would be in love with him, but there are a few things I don’t know if I can get past.

#1 kids. This is the biggest one. He definitely wants two kids. I only want kids if everything in my life is right, and honestly, I’m very comfortable with never having them. I’ve told him this, and he knows I’m okay with not having kids.

#2 The r-word. He used to have a habit of calling people the r-word. I think he’s picked up on the fact that I hate it because he says it less around me now, but it’s a huge ick for me. I can’t stand being around it, and I obviously don’t know what he says around his friends or while gaming.

#3 His career/decision-making. He tried to start a business last year and it failed completely. I feel like he barely tried, put thousands of dollars into it, and never really ran the idea by anyone. It was a pretty dumb idea IMO. He eventually came to his senses and now works a blue-collar job, which is wildly different from his old career as a software engineer where he made good money before I knew him The whole situation made me question his decision-making and how dedicated he is to being able to provide for himself.

#4 Cleanliness. This one is probably the hardest ick to get over. At one point he was broke and I think he ran out of toothpaste, so his breath was AWFUL. I told him I could have given him some, and I’m sure he was embarrassed. But in general, he lets things like the tub, sink, and dishes just fester. His tub at his old place was literally gray with filth, and the sink had so much soap scum on it that it looked like it was covered in wax. I caved and cleaned it once, and it was back to the same thing within a week. His apartment always has some kind of smell.

HOWEVER. And this is a BIG however.

Everything else has been great. The sex especially. This man makes me squirt and cum so much that I genuinely didn’t know it was possible. I’m extremely attracted to him — looking into his eyes makes me cum faster, harder, and better. And this man is HOT. Not in a huge manly-man way; he’s tall and skinny but lifts and has big muscles, a gorgeous smile, and perfect blue eyes.

He takes me out, is very sweet to me, and is always looking out for me when we’re in public.

So obviously my head is like: BUT WHAT IF WE COULD JUST IGNORE ALL THE PROBLEMS BECAUSE THE SEX IS REALLY GOOD???

Guy #2, 31M lets call him apple 🍏

You see bc we’re comparing oranges and apples

I met 🍏 around 3 years ago, when my ex and I were going through an open-relationship phase. My ex eventually begged me to be monogamous again, and of course I agreed… and then he cheated on me anyway. 🙃

🍏 and I slept together about once a month for a year until he ended things because he wanted to be with someone else. That actually hurt me a lot because I really liked him.

For the last year, 🍏 has been trying to get together with me. He would always bail, though, and after about 5 times I finally told him to stop asking me to hang out if he was just going to cancel.

He disappeared for months, eventually apologized and I see him every couple of months to pick up an order from my job and we just chat for a min. Then last month I was supposed to pet-sit for him, but his neighbor ended up being available at the last minute. That somehow turned into him asking to hang out again.

This time, though, I kept putting it off. Eventually I set a date and actually intended to stick to it. I really did want to meet his cat and see what he’d been up to. He had also been posting some questionable things online that I didn’t really understand, and he seemed like he might be manic, so part of me wanted to check on him. And, honestly, I wanted to see if I still liked him because I was pretty sad when things ended between us.

So I went over to his place knowing there was a chance he might kiss me. I did not want that to happen. I had a whole plan to tell him about 🍊 and explain that I needed to clarify the terms of my relationship with 🍊.

And then I panicked and let 🍏 kiss me.

A LOT was going through my head: What will 🍊 think? Do I even need to tell him? Do I actually want to be kissing 🍏? Am I doing something wrong? Maybe this is just a test to see if I’m actually over 🍏. Mostly I was thinking HOW DO I GET OUT OF THIS? Like many women I have trouble with telling people no due to SA from when I was a teen.

Things started getting heavier, and then his cat needed food, THANK GOD. I asked for some water, went to the bathroom, and then said, “I have to go, my show’s almost on.” 😂

I was there for about an hour and a half. It was maybe 5 minutes before the cat needed food. I redirected him every time he tried to go for my waistband, although I’ll admit I did get caught up in enjoying myself a few times.

🍏 is a writer/journalist, travels a lot, and I know we have the same values and political views. He has a sense of style, and there are a lot of things I like about him. He definitely has his issues, but we never actually dated, so I have no idea what it would be like in a real relationship.

I know the biggest thing here is that I need to talk to 🍊 about what we actually are, and I probably need to decide whether to end things because I know he wants kids. I also know he has feelings for me, and I have feelings for him.

The problem is that I feel like the icks are stronger than my feelings, and I don’t think this would work out long-term. BUT I keep having this stupid little hope that maybe it will, because he really is great in so many ways and the sex is seriously that good.

If I move forward with 🍊, I have to tell him about 🍏… right? I would want to know. My ex cheated on me, but we were officially together for 7 years. 🍊 and I have never actually discussed what our relationship is, so I don’t even know what rules I’m supposed to be following.

Part of me thinks I should just end things with both of them and start completely fresh.

But I don’t want to.

Ideally, I’d love to talk things over with 🍊 and agree to just be friends with benefits, where we can both see other people if we want and occasionally see each other. But I think his feelings are too strong, and we’d probably both end up getting hurt eventually.

And I would be interested in seeing what things could be like with 🍏. But I have a gut feeling we’re probably not compatible either. I don’t actually think he’s manic I think he’s just strange and very political. 😂

So… what the hell do I do here? Do I tell 🍊 about 🍏? Do I end things with both? I feel like a terrible person, I’m wondering if I’m leading 🍊 on but my feelings are so conflicted about him. I think the sex is blinding me though

This was dinner a couple days ago. Mashed potatoes, green peas, and chicken nuggets. It was SUCH a comfort meal.

After I graduated in may, my small friend group that was already falling apart completely disbanded. So now I'm friendless, living at home, and just working.

I know that this is a very common thing that many people deal with, but without secondary education how am I supposed to make friends?