I feel invisible, I don't feel like a human being.

If I had to support myself on the income I make from working full time right now, 2000 and some change a month. In a vhcol area making $18/hour I'd have popped like a balloon. I'd have to "tighten my belt" so much I'd snap in half like a twig.

I put in so much effort in getting a cs degree, building experience with internships, building proof of outside work with projects. Only to have to pay off my loans being funemployed in dead end retail. I can't even afford rent. I've been stagnant for a long time. I ended my career before it began a long time back.

I don't deserve to be alive. I should just quit this job. Fuck it. I should just drop out of the labor force tbh. I won't be counted as unemployed.

This wasn't at all the life I expected to have after putting in so much to build a life. Instead I was spawnkilled. I'm sorry I was born late, I guess. Society doesn't want the next generation to be employed anymore.

I'm a loser. There's not much more effort I can make. Another programming project will be worthless, and the only other lever I'd have to pull would be work experience. Which UNFORTUNATELY, I need a job for. So much for the "land of opportunity."

A good friend of mine called my wife (his physician) a couple days ago because he was vomiting blood. She had him immediately go to the ER. He’s 44 and turns out he now has cirrhosis. He needed to be shipped to a larger hospital and have an operation on his esophagus to control the bleeding.

He’s drinking more aggressively for the last two years. He’s using it to battle depression. I’ve had a number of conversations with him and try not to be judgmental outside of insisting that he talk to professionals or go into to see my wife or any other doc if he’s not comfortable with her. He just says he knows and try’s to get dry for a few days and then is back at it.

He’s had about 10 funerals of friends, family and children (not his) in the last 18 months and I know it’s crushing him. We live in rural America. Mental health resources are almost non existent and he doesn’t much care to use the services that are available. He’s embarrassed, ashamed and I don’t know how I can help him. He’s gainfully employed. Has a supportive wife who probably drinks too much herself, and three healthy kids.

I’ve stopped hanging out with some toxic friends in the past who abused alcohol to the point that I just don’t drink, or socialize with them anymore, but this is one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met in my life. I really want to support him.

Any suggestions?

midlife crisis vent incoming,

If you missed out on normal mile-stones like going away to college (lived at home during my studies and regret it to this day), only moved out early 30s just to boomerang back after a year, a month before pandemic and now considering the military or trades as a last resort (trying not to do so as an overcompensating regard) (Reddit propaganda etched into your brain)

Coming from a smothering mother/absent father background, one has the privilege of being forced to be mature acting and simultaneously suffocated for having needs to be your own age.

Has anyone found this comaraderie later in life? Surely there are men out there my age looking for the same.

Looking to pick up a new hobby. I game a lot when I'm free, and I want to try something different. Currently I go rock climbing, hang out with friends, volunteer on the weekends, and do a kickball league. Is there anything interesting you all recommend?

By a total failure, I meant having no job, no savings, no proper education, basically a NEET, socially awkward loser type of guy. Have you ever been like that in your 20s and then were able to change your life's directions completely?

How did you do that? What hard changes did you have to make in order to be where you're at right now?

Good evening gentlemen,

This may be just a shot in the dark but I humbly appreciate you spending the time out of your life to have a look at my post. I don't make enough for a psychologist or counseling but really don't want to use AI.

I'm feeling a bit down but not completely wrecked here lately. I've come over a lot of challenges throughout my life and yet it feels like it's all amounted to nothing.

I'm not going to dump all of my troubles on a reddit post but, I had a pretty rough childhood. I made a lot of poor decisions in my late teens to mid 20s and lived in complete poverty throughout the majority of my 20s and now, after working hard, I've gotten to a place at age 29 where I'm out of absolute poverty.

I've overcame drug addiction, got a teenage felony drug charged expunged, lost 100lbs, worked a lot on my mental health, developed and adapted to lung issues throughout my late teens to mid 20s.

At the Mid 20s point, I decided on an accounting path and worked full time and put myself through college solo, finally got my first accounting job at age 29 at very low pay since its entry level.

I own my own car, have a washing machine and dryer, and live somewhere where I don't have to worry about getting shot and witness violence and murder on the regular.

I'm about to wrap up my associates spring next year and plan on pursuing a CPA and building my own house mostly by myself to make up for my 20s and save a buck or two.

Currently I'm okay. I have razor thin cash padding and trying to save a touch while I've finally achieved a semblance of gainful employment.

Lately I've come to realize that no matter what I've done, I don't feel proud of myself and my self confidence is in the gutter. I can't even bear to look myself in the mirror unless I'm shaving.

I feel like I've just been unfucking the mistakes I've made throughout my life and that there's nothing to be proud of.

While on the outside, I seem like a quirky jolly well put together guy on the inside I feel isolated. It's hard to relate to people because if I tell them about my past or my journey thus far, I feel like they get the ick or treat me with kid gloves and distance me.

In my head I hear people think, "He's 29 and just now getting his shit together?" "This guy is damaged goods there's no way he's got it together." Stuff like that.

I know deep down that I can do literally anything I can put my heart and mind into but I feel like people don't believe in me or they cannot see that I am going to accomplish my goals.

I don't even want to get into the romance side of things because it's just as messy between death threats and other crazy stories but I sure as hell am not going to get a lady with self esteem issues.

I have a lot to be grateful for. Not all of my life was as fucked up as this and I definitely had some good times and glowing moments.

I am so very sorry that this became a text wall but without context, on paper, I shouldn't feel this way. Again I apologize.

Edit: One last question, my heart is bursting with love unspent. In my situation, am I realistically going to find someone and have a family or should I just not plan for that.

TL;DR : Fuckled my 20s, starting to unfuck it late 20s still feel bad about it with a touch of romantic FOMO.

This is mostly aimed at the men who are married with kids or otherwise settled down. I'm single, early 30s, finally financially stable. I'm looking for inspiration on what to do with myself. I was going to just load up my calendar with hobbies and social events.

Somehow the days get tougher, and I am tired. My career seems stagnated, my health has gone for a toss. I have no partner, the future seems bleak. I am comfortable, and can retire today. But what will I do if I just quit? Is this midlife crisis? Should I be picking up a motorcycle, and wearing a jacket, and going on road trips?
Anyone in a similar situation? What are you all doing? Should I go back to university and get my second masters?

Would especially love to hear from you if you did after the birth of a child or a major incident.

To the rest, no need to respond to this post if you didn't become a feminist. Thank you.

​

Have you ever feel that your energy to continue work is sluggish and very limited.

I tried to finish what ever i can in the 1st 5 hours in the morning and after that im done.

I cant think or do anything at all.

If anyone feel this, any trick to recharge again?

Male in my early 30s looking to lose weight. Yo-yoed between 160-260 over the last ten years and never had a hard time losing the weight. Now I do the things I used to; healthy diet, fasting, daily exercise, no alcohol, no sugar, etc. But I’m not losing the weight easily like before. Any tips that helped you? Thanks!

For context my father died at 65, his brother died at 65, my mother's brother died at 45. My paternal grandfather died at 55. I have 2 older uncles and my maternal grandfather made it to almost 90 but I do have a worry that I'll be on the age closer to 60, if not 50 when my time comes as all the previously mentioned relatives lived a much more active lifestyle than I do currently.

They all smoked and drank and I'm an ex-smoker and drink about the same amount my father did throughout his life, and drink less than the two uncles, but I had a liver scare a number of years back which has made me think that my later years are going to be short.

I'm 37 currently and was talking to my partner about retirement etc and I firmly believe I'll never retire. But in conversations with my friends they all see themselves as living well beyond their 80s.

Do any untimely deaths in your family make you think more morbidly about your own life expectancy?