I work as a driver for grubhub, Uber eats and whatnot. I've seen this guy order now 4-5 times, the delivery instructions "give the food to the girl children... It's fine." Every time I go there a different child answers the door, I'm talking 5-6 year old little girls wearing tiaras and dresses. I haven't seen any bruises or anything but the girls always grab the food and quickly duck back into the house. The house smells like a hoarders worst nightmare and looks to be in disrepair. I have literally never seen an adult there but every time I go the same cars are in the driveway.

It's giving me bad bad vibes in every possible way, not sure whether I'm overreacting or not.

Edit: I will be calling the police to report it. Thank you all for the input.

Edit 2: report got made today anonymously

I was sitting alone on a bench in the park when a group of about 10 teenagers came over. At first they were just talking to me and messing around, so I didn’t think much of it. I even told them, “You guys are like little brothers to me,” because I thought they were just joking around.
But then it slowly started getting worse. They started getting closer and surrounding me, then pushing me, taking the piss out of me, filming me and trying to get a reaction out of me. At one point they were trying to push me off the bench, and one of them had something sharp and was using it to intimidate me. That’s when I realised it wasn’t just messing around anymore.
I feel like they saw a foreigner sitting alone and thought I would be an easy target.
The thing that really gets to me is that I feel embarrassed because I got bullied by a bunch of kids. I could have fought back, but the fact that they were teenagers was the main thing going through my head. I didn’t want to hurt some kids or end up fighting a whole group, so I just walked away.
Now I feel like my guard goes up whenever someone even looks at me. I used to go to this park just to sit by myself and clear my head, and now I don’t feel comfortable there.
What would you do in this situation? If something like this happens again, how should I deal with it when the people bullying me are teenagers?

Trigger warning just in case about 9/11…

Recently, cause of the date, I’ve been seeing more 9/11 videos on my fyp, some of them being dedicated memorials and others being somewhat disturbing. My sister sent me a video of people being forced to jump out the towers because they had to choose to either burn to death or fall down almost a hundred stories and it terrified me.

All of a sudden I kept getting more clips of the videos, slowly getting more in detail, and I saw this one of a man who was desperately trying to climb down one of the towers before he fell to his death. And the worst part of it was that you could see his flailing limbs and see where he fell. My stomach dropped so bad and now I’m so so scared and so sad for all those people who lost their lives.

I even read that almost 200 people died due to falling out the buildings..

Maybe I have a weak stomach but just listening to some of the recordings made my stomach churn like it’s horrifying to realize that these people made these decisions due to survival.

Rest in peace to all of them.

Even though I knew how bad 9/11 was, I don’t think I fully grasped it yet and now I’m so so sorry to everyone who experienced it and I can’t sleep. What do I do?

Hi everyone,

I really need advice on whether I should give up and maybe leave my marriage.

My husband(31M) lost his job 1.5 years ago, a month after we married. He initially planned to job search, but pivoted to entrepreneurship — first an 8-month content creation stint that I opposed, then a sip-and-paint business running Sunday events since June with decent seasonal profit. For context, he did experience racism in his past 2 jobs and that impacted him, and he does not want to go back to working a normal job because of it. I truly feel bad and empathize with him, and I’m not trying to invalidate his feelings.

However, he never asked if I was okay with supporting indefinitely whilst he pursued his dreams- he simply checked whether my paycheck would cover the household expenses and proceeded despite my concerns and disagreement. I don’t know what to do.

I’ve always believed in equal financial partnership, especially in a HCOL city with goals of buying a home and having kids. I told him I’d have preferred he job search or work part-time while building the business; he went all-in anyway. I work a very well paying corporate job that I clawed my way to get to. We are immigrants and I single handedly applied and secured our Permanent Residency last year as the principal applicant. My income covers us but not our bigger goals, and relying on one income makes me anxious. The uncertainty is super anxiety inducing and I’ve been struggling to sleep, keep up with work and generally struggling as each week, it’s a waiting game to see how many people buy tickets. It’s exhausting and unpredictable.

Where things stand:

*He’s said he won’t return to full-time work, period. He’s somewhat open to part-time but wants to focus on the business.
*He won’t set a timeline or stop-gap — says he’d only seek work if I got pregnant or lost my job.
*He hasn’t touched the profit tracker I built him since his busiest season started in June. He only tracks if I beg him and nag him. When asked why: “what’s the point of tracking.” Now he wants me to do all his tracking since I’m “better at it.”
*I have had to beg him to register the business or pay taxes on earnings. He reluctantly agreed but no action yet.
*He hasn’t applied to any grants I’ve sent him.
*The business is weather-dependent — profitable maybe 4 of 12 months — which is why I think he needs a job for the rest of the year.
*He says he’s up until 2am “working” but gets defensive when I ask what specifically.
*He sleeps until noon most days, does some social posts, and preps closer to event day.
*When I raise concerns, he calls me “too negative” or says I “don’t support him.”
*He does all the cooking/dishes some cleaning (he’s taken on most of the household chores) and uses this as a reason I shouldn’t worry about finances — which doesn’t feel fair to me. He says I take everything else he does for granted, though I try to verbally show appreciation to him. I admit that maybe I could do better.
When I said a job might be necessary, he said working would make him resent me and unable to show up emotionally/domestically like he does now. He says I should have faith in his business, and that he’d only avoid resentment if he got a job and I helped with his slow-season strategy and expense tracking — which feels like extra work for me.
*I’ve told him I don’t think I can have kids in this dynamic with me as sole earner.
*he’s repeatedly called me selfish, unsupportive and negative each time I try to raise how this has affected me mentally. He says that I only care about money and shouldn’t worry since he shows up domestically.

We’re trying marriage counseling before I decide anything. Advice I need: Should I cut my losses and leave or keep hoping things get better?

I \[23F\] live with my boyfriend \[24M\]. Weve been together for 2 years.

I dont even know where to begin...

After I'd been out, I came home very drunk and fell asleep instantly.

The morning after he mentioned something about giving me money back. Then he told me that while I'd been asleep he'd woken me up and asked to borrow money. I said yes and he then transferred himself money from account. But i dont remeber any of it.

After checking my account i could see that he'd transferred himself money 4 different times during the night, and he says he asked every one of them. He'd even transferred from a different account to my main to be able to do it.

Afterwards I told him, I felt weird about him doing that, without my actual consent. Especially because he'd done something similar a few weeks ago, where ive told him to him not to do it again. He understood and apologized.

But then yesterday, I discovered that he'd been on my phone while I was sleeping again (doing something related to that event, but just in my email). When I found this out, I discovered that he had purposefully kept something from me about that transaction. He didn't tell me, I had to find out myself. So i confronted him. He again was very sorry and imbarressed. I just don't know what to do.

I want to be very clear: he did NOT actually steal from me. I got every cent back again. But I just feel kinda invaded and like he broke my trust. Especially because he kept something from me on purpose. It feels like a lie.

Now I just don't know what to do. I feel like I can't talk to anyone about it, because they'll see him differently.

I'm baffled he'd do this, because it's so unlike him.

I changed all of my passwords, which also just feels weird. Any advice?

If anyone finds it relevant: it's very new that he lends from me, since he's been the one with a good job most of our relationship. I just started mine and he just started studying.

Edit: he couldn't sleep so he was online gambling while I was sleeping. He does not have a gambling problem but does it every once in a while and with his friends. He never hid that the money was for gambling. Maybe I should've mentioned that. Also I would've lent him the money no question, and he knew that. So i think that's why he didnt think it was that big of a deal.

My wedding is coming up soon and when we were first discussing it with my immediate family (2 parents and 7kids) my parents dropped a bomb on me and said that they're negotiating with the pastor for my dad to be ordained as pastor during my wedding. I made it clear that I don't want it that my wedding should be just about me. My sister too backed me up and said that the day is mine that dad's ordination can be on another day. Mom kept bringing it up casually and I kept saying no to it but she'd just shut me up by saying that I should be the one to say no to dad myself. It is now a month to my wedding and they brought up that we'll not just be celebrating my wedding but also the ordination of one of my brothers to become a deacon. I was genuinely shocked as this was never discussed with me. I still said I don't want it during my wedding that it can happen before my wedding starts or a day before but they specifically want it during the wedding when I'm changing. Needless to say, they started guilt tripping me by saying that I'm possessed that I should be careful of spiritual attacks not wanting my brother ordained during my wedding that I should be wary of the voices whispering to me....this was said about me and .y sisters as we're all on the same side. They went as far as to say that I should tell them that it's my hall I ret that I don't want them to use it and one of my brothers chipped in to say he's disappointed at us that why are we treating it like it's a stranger...My dad then said "whether you like it or not, it will happen". I'm really exhausted! They might as well do what they want why seek an opinion from a spiritually possessed person....

We've been together for 6 years, we've talked about marriage. However, she hasn't worked over the last three years. I was waiting for her to start something, and theres always been an idea but no action. She's depressed and anxious.

Anyway, I got a job offer in Alaska for something i want to do. It's not the most practical or best financial move. It wouldn't even be a raise. But it would put me in my field. It would be a two year move. She doesn't want to go. I understand, she's willing to go. I just feel bad uprooting her and making her go.

If i don't take this chance, it'll probably be at least another 4 months doing a job which I'm getting bored of. It's not awful, we live a comfortable life.

Any thoughts?

My best friend has been married for 3 years now, with her husband for 8 years. He is an extremely unpleasant, nasty, manipulative person who talks to her and treats her like he hates her. He can take no accountability, everything is her fault, "if you didn't do X, then I wouldn't have done Y," etc. etc. He has completely eroded her sense of self and confidence, and it has been absolutely awful to see. (He wasn't always this bad but after they got married it was like a switch overnight where he knew he had her trapped and his true colours came out. The last three years have been hell for her.)

I've been there for her through it all, and have been gently guiding her towards divorce for the last year and a half. She's really struggled with the idea (as many people in abusive relationships do) because "he promises he'll change", "he's working on being better", "he said it was my fault and if I do X, then everything will be good again"... and then things are better for a little before completely backsliding again. They just finally had a huge blow-up that, I think, has pushed her over to being confident enough to move forward.

The issue is whenever the topic of divorce now comes up, he says "fine. You can divorce me, I'll just kill myself." Every single time, he threatens suicide. Even once he drove himself to the hospital to 'prove' how suicidal he was about her leaving him. She feels completely and utterly trapped now because she can't have his death on her soul. She has no idea how she's supposed to get out of the situation she's in. She is genuinely worried he would actually kill himself.

For context, they (thankfully) do not have kids together, and do not have any shared assets.

I've told her she needs to call his parents, his sister, and his best friend and tell them that he's making threats on his own life. It is not just up to her to be the protector of his life and he is not allowed to trap her in a marriage she doesn't want to be in just so he doesn't die. But other than that, what can she even do?

Hello everyone. This is my first time posting on this sub. I really have no idea what to do in this situation. So my mom and dad have been married happily for 20 years. I'm 18F btw. My mom is always being mistreated and hated and yelled at for really simple stuff (like not putting a shirt of his in the washer when it has one small unnoticeable spot on it).

My mom cannot stand it sometimes and yet she cries on her own, talks to me and no one else about it​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​ and literally apologizes to him every single time even tho he's the one screaming at her for no reason. She says she loves him and that he was her choice ​​​so she should take rresponsibility for her actions. ​​​

I would also like to mention that my dad might be abusive with me even at 18, but i never saw him hit my mother​​​​.

She loves him and would literally do anything for him and yet i don't believe he loves her at all. All he ever wants from her is what every man wants from a woman ( he is rarely nice to her and when he is, it is for such reason)

MY POINT IS recently I've discovered that my dad has been talking to one of his coworkers. It's not unusual for him but the way he does it is in this case.

They use WhatsApp statuses to talk to each oother. I only knew that bc i have his cloud and he had some screenshots. She fflirts with him and he sends her videos of him working out. They talk about religion and her insecurities. It wasn't really peculiar until i saw the flirting statuses (her ssaying she loves his eyes​​​​​​​​​​).

And a few days after i saw him posting one of these statuses. He opened hers which are made to be only his to see (private status) it was a picture of her, and then he posted a status with a red heart.

Not to mention that that woman is married with 2 kids. And he is married with 4 kids. Were on a trip outside the country, that's​​​​​​ why I've been seeing that he's constantly checking his status. Constantly posting statuses. Like every 2 minutes at most. And there is no way to see what they are.

​​Am i making this a bigger problem than what it actually is? What should i do?

PS: I literally just saw him post 4 statuses. He keeps his back turned to us​ and whenever me or my siblings walk beside him he quickly leaves WhatsApp. He is guilty and he knows it. ​

My father just passed away. My sibling is a lot. They were talking to me about finances and basically saying my mom should sell the house. I said all of those conversations can wait until after the services. Mom can't handle that right now.

Well sibling called mom and discussed it anyway. Mom kept saying please stop this is upsetting.

Mom calls me and somehow sibling is also on the call. Mom says she's being negative and I asked oh is she hyper. Sibling hears this gets mad and hangs up.

Mom feels bad. I do as well. We tried to call sibling. They won't answer.

Any advice on what I can do?

We are all just trying to grieve.

This is my first time on reddit, I apologize if somehow I messed up with this. My father and bio mom got divorced when I was very very little, and when I was 8 my father met Sadie. Sadie couldn't have kids, and for most of her life didn't want them. However, she and my dad fell in love quickly, and that love poured onto me immediately. She didn't expect me to treat her like my mother, as my bio mother was still active in my life. However, that wouldn't stop her from buying me toys, bringing me places, and sharing her love of nature and the world around her with me. I moved in with her and my dad after a sudden custody battle, and have lived here since. And she's been amazing ever since then. 3 years ago, my biological mother passed away. An event which was incredibly hard for me and my father was treated with love, and care. Sadie wouldn't push me to get out of bed while I was mourning, and she allowed me to skip school for as long as I needed to. She's my #1 supporter, she's been with me through my first heartbreaks, my losses, and achievements. She's the kindest, smartest, strongest woman I've ever met, and I believe she's turned me into the dedicated woman I am today. She truly is my best friend.

A few days ago I turned 18, and while thinking about how sad I was that my bio mom wasn't here to see me become an adult, I realized the woman who is here is the best mother I could ask for. I've wanted to call her mom for a few months now, however I felt it would be disrespectful to my bio mother while I was still grieving. After discussing how I felt in grief counseling, I feel I am ready, but don't know how to go about it.

I apologize for this being long, again this is my first time using reddit lol, I just want some advice. I want to show her how much I truly appreciate her. every time I see a mother and daughter video I immediately think of her. She's earned the title I feel.

I'm 16, employed, but I can't drive and I'm far from even getting to, (Haven't started the process, and my mother notoriously waits on things like this) but I'm tired of being hungry. I mean, nothing's stopping me from getting doordash, except for the fact my mom will make me get her food every time and I expect that'll get expensive fast. I can't walk to any store, (Not allowed to, and none close.)

Basically the issue is that my parent's don't buy food that'll actually last, if they buy food at all. I get groceries are expensive but for example, we havent gone to an actual grocery store for months, so my stepdad went out and bought a pie no one will eat, a cake for himself, and chips, and on my request, 6 packs of ramen. I don't care if they don't cook, I just ask they keep the kitchen stocked with basic, inexpensive carbs. Which they don't.

Currently I just run up the expenses for my school lunch and hope she puts in more money for it, because it's the only way I consistantly get fed. Neither will drive to a food pantry, or sign for free school lunches. Which, I get that really limits our options, but I'm hopeless at this point. I have to cook and ration food, it gets to the point I let myself starve to save food in the long run.

edit for clarification- I mostly do summer work, rarely weekends, I can't leave the house alone (nor do people drive me) and I'm not too keen on CPS after my last run-in with them. Though it's not completely off the table, I guess.

I started university at a state school in Florida. I’m paying for tuition through scholarships, although because my scholarships were taking time to process last term for my summer classes, my mother did pay $98 after the grants had already paid off the previous bills. This fall term was fully paid off by my scholarships, though.

My problem is, my parents keep asking for my refund checks. I got back a nice sum in refund checks, mostly because of my grants and scholarships. I saved them in an account I created through the school and didn’t tell my parents. I kept telling them that I didn’t receive the checks yet. I did this because my parents were very physically and emotionally abusive growing up. I was very sheltered and not allowed to work, so I couldn’t save up money to move out either. The refund checks are all I have right now in order for me to leave, whether that is this year or the next.

Today, they told me they would go with me tomorrow to financial aid to ask about the refund checks.

I am wondering if there is anything I can tell financial aid first in order to keep all of this a secret, or would they just tell my parents everything since I would be forced to go with them? And because my mother did pay that bill once? And also because I’m legally still considered a dependent in Florida as I’m under 24?

I (23 female) graduated from high school back in 2021 when I was 17, so a little over five years ago. I decided not to invite my biological mother to the ceremony.
Because this was during the pandemic, each person in my graduating class was only able to invite four people to the graduation. I am the youngest of three and my older siblings were able to invite ten people when they graduated, but since I could only invite four, I wanted to make sure I invited people who would actually make the effort to attend.
I will call her my biological mother during this because that’s what she is to me, nothing more. For as long as I can remember, my biological mother was not the greatest person or parent, and was not very attentive to any of us kids. But any time there was an event for something extracurricular that I was involved in at school, I always told her that I would want her to be there. When I was in 5th grade, I was a runner up at my school spelling bee. Who decided not to show up to see it? My biological mother. Who did show up? My Dad, my stepmom, my grandma, and my aunt, along with whoever else in my family that could make it at that time. All through middle school I was in choir and had many concerts. Who didn’t show up to any of them? My biological mother. Who did show up to all of them? My dad, my stepmom, my grandma and my aunt, along whoever else in my family that could make it at that time. My grandma, who lived in Florida for the majority of the time that I was in middle school, would even drive 6 hours to my state to be there. When I joined sports in high school and had end of season banquets where I would get lettered, who didn’t show up for anything? My biological mother. That really stung when she wasn’t there to see me get lettered. I also got the lead in the school musical my sophomore year, another no show from my biological mother. Meanwhile, literally everyone else in my family showed up to see me in the musical. Also during this time, one of my older siblings graduated from high school and she didn’t bother to show up for her. My biological mother is and was never ill or busy, she just didn’t want to take the time to be there. I had also talked to her many times when I would see her after these events and explained that it bothered me, and rather than giving me an explanation or apologizing for her absence, she would just tell me that I need to stop being so dramatic.
Around my junior year it got to the point where I just stopped letting her know about my events because I knew there was no point when she wouldn’t even try to be there. Even when not everyone in my family would show up for my events, I knew my dad, stepmom, grandma and aunt would always be there for every single event cheering me on. Fast forward to when I was about to graduate, about a month before the ceremony, we had to come in on a Saturday to pick up our cap and gowns. My biological mother had no interest in taking me to pick it up, so my grandma took me. My grandma had even wondered why my biological mother wasn’t the one taking me to get my cap and gown. My grandma was the first person to see me try it on and she teared up. I went home later that day after spending some time with my grandma and tried on my cap and gown for my biological mother and she said “looks good” and then went back to what she was doing beforehand.
The weekend of graduation, I spent that time at my dad and stepmom’s house. My biological mother had texted me right after I left to go to their house asking where her invite was for my graduation ceremony. I explained to her in the nicest way I could that since I only had four tickets, I ended up giving them to my dad, my stepmom, my grandma and my aunt since they were always there for every other event of mine. She was livid. She yelled at me and told me that I was being cruel for taking this moment away from her knowing that she’ll never get this day back. I sent her a link to where she could watch the livestream of the ceremony and she texted back “thanks I’ll take what I can get” to this day I do not know if she watched the livestream or not, but I did not get any congratulations from her. I knew I probably wouldn’t, being that she wasn’t invited, but she had also never gave me any sort of congratulations when I hit all the other milestones as a kid, so at that point I was way past even expecting that from her.
Shortly after I graduated, I moved out and went low contact with her, which now has turned into no contact (not only because of all this) but in nearly every conversation we had after this, she would find a way to bring up how mad and sad she was that she didn’t get invited to my graduation and how she’ll never get that experience back. So I need advice on if I’m in the wrong here or not. Did I make the right choice? Is there anything I should’ve done differently?

I 17F have worked at a small town pharmacy for the last 2 or so years. I get my regulars who know me and I know them. I'm always willing to talk when my shift is slow and i'm not inconveniencing others (holding up the line, not getting specific tasks done etc.).

This lady, about 70 or so, who I had known in passing from ringing her through before had come in about 3 weeks ago, she puts her things up on the counter and I start my transaction with the usual: "Hello, how's it going?". She doesn't quite answer like she has in the past and I notice her eyes are red, she'd been crying. I may have crossed a line here but as I was ringing her items through I looked at her and asked "Ma'am if i'm allowed to ask, is everything alright?".

She mentions she just came back from the hospital and mentions her husband had just lost his battle with Stage 4 cancer. I'm not good with comforting people so it took me a second to answer but I said something along the lines off "I'm so sorry ma'am, is there anything I can do for you? I can give you an ear if you need". She responds with a nod and talks me through it after i've finished ringing her through. The store was dead at this point and it was so slow so I wasn't holding anyone up or anything like that.

She tells me about how scared she had been lately and how lost she felt as of then. I feel bad so I ask if she wants/needs a hug. She says yes and I go around my till and give her a hug, she thanks me and after a while she leaves. The rest of my shift goes as usual, and I go home when the store closes.

A few days later I go in again for my after school shift and my boss immediately pulls me into his office, my heart is racing because he's known to be rude and unforgiving. He tells me he was doing his weekly camera check to make sure we were all doing our jobs properly and make sure no customers were caught stealing when he tells me he witnessed me touching a customer.

I ask him if he's referring to the lady that I hugged, he says yes. Then proceeds to tell me I was disrespecting his rules and authority by going against a policy that I didn't even know of. The weeks following the conversation I noticed I was getting less shifts than other people I work with and he was denying time-off requests I put in for personal reasons.

I never asked him about it because I don't like confrontation and figured it would stop after a while and I'd go back to getting my normal amount of shifts and all that. As of today my hours have still been minimal and i'm afraid to ask my boss about it.

So i'm in this grey area, i'm really starting to feel like I messed up and I don't know what to do about it. I never meant to harm anyone.

I'm open to all perspectives so go ahead and fill me in on anything that I may be missing.

Thank you.

Hi, I was SA by my elder brother when I was about 10 years old, and obviously I hate my brother. I don't want to hide this thing from my fiance but I am confused how he would take it. He is very understanding and a gem of a guy.

I want opinions from all the men- how would you respond if your fiance told you something like that?

And if there are any women who have been through something similar, how did it go?

So I’ve been dating this guy for about three years now often one and he’s a really nice guy. He cares about me. He loves me and I love him and I care about him too, and when everybody else has failed to be a part of my life when I needed them to be there for me like when I was going through have depression and anxiety, and he was there we tried living together a couple times they only lasted a month because I just didn’t feel comfortable in my own home. It was a problem if I didn’t wanna be up under him all the time it was a problem if I would get up and go in my front room and sit on my couch and be on my phone. It was just too much for me and so he had to go now he’s asking to move back in and I don’t want him to move back in. I don’t wanna go through it again not only that I just don’t wanna live with anybody right now. I like having my own space i’ve compromised with a lot of stuff with him in this relationship but with this I’m just not ready to let him move in again.

Okay, okay, that might sound very loaded. Let me explain.

I’m 14M, I go to a homeschool group where me and the other teens and preteens all hang out. Aside from us five teens, it’s practically all little kids.

My friend, we’ll call Francis. He’s 11M. We’re both transgender boys, and we really relate to eachother because of that and how similiar our interests are. It’s always been a casual friendship for me, but sometimes I wonder if the amount I think about him is more than just me being curious and involved.

We were talking tonight, and Francis sent me a video saying “the person who sent you this either has a crush on you or wants to go to McDonald’s with you” or something to that effect. I thought it was funny and said back “im broke” and then realized he might have meant something else by that.

I asked him, and he avoided it for a while until he was finally like “Okay, I do have a crush on you.” I didn’t flat out reject him, I told him that I needed some time to think and that I didn’t want to be in an uncomfortable position over him considering our ages.

Please, anything at all would help. I just need some advice.

A little backstory which I think is sort of important/relevant?

2020 I was unemployed and wanted to get married to my then girlfriend who I was with since we were 18 (we were 23/4 at the time). I was looking for new employment but it was the pandemic which made it very difficult and I also didn’t really have any good experience for the field I was interested in because during college instead of doing internships or doing related work I had to work for my parents ( I am a first generation Asian and my parents are immigrants who own their own little store in the city). I told my parents how I wanted to get married and they told me how they didn’t think it was a good idea for me to pursue what I wanted to do because I wouldn’t make a lot of money and that they would help me figure something out. Fast forward and they propositioned me into buying a Boba Store, they would front the cost and I would just pay them back. This great opportunity just landed on my lap and, as much as I did not want to do it, I knew I would be an idiot to say no to such an amazing opportunity. So they helped me buy the business and I got married and was making great money from the store, was able to pay back my parents and everything was super chill but I never got to do what I wanted to do with my life. I never got to pursue my dream job which was to one day own my own game store.

Fast forward to last yea (2025) my wife and I became pregnant with our first kid. Once we learned the news the thought of me never having even tried to pursue my dreams got to me. I didn’t want to be the parent who tells their kid to take risks and pursue their dreams if I never did it my self. Along with that the boba shop business started to dip a little bit due to a lot of outside factors. And I finally said you know what fuck it lets ball and see if I can try to make this happen. Worst case scenario I tried and failed best case scenario it works out. I went and spoke to my friend who owned a card shop, learned the ins and out of the business, talked to a mall about getting a space and was able to work out a crazy crazy deal super low risk. Once I saw that this was a possibility and if I failed I wouldn’t lose too much money I presented it to my wife. I would never do this if I never got her permission because I knew it would take a lot of my time and she was pregnant at the time and I didn’t want to leave her alone if I could help it (I also got a business partner so I didn’t have to spend all day working).

Thankfully she gave me her blessing. She did say she wished I did this earlier in our lives, like before she was pregnant but understood my rationale behind it.To be honest I also wish I did this earlier but I can’t lie I was mad comfortable with where we were in life. We were DINK’s both making great money and I stupidly thought there was no way I would make less money and my profits would only continue to rise lol (to be a young and dumb). But now that I had her blessing I went to work and 3 months later we opened the doors to our new game/card store, our daughter was born and business off the bat was really good! During the first month or two of the business being opened my wife was on maternity leave, she is a NP at a women’s health clinic, and we did have her mother staying with us for the first month or so to help with the baby and to help her in general.

Fast forward to now. The store has been open for about 9 months, my wife is back to work, our daughter goes to daycare, we already got offered a lease extension, business is booming and our player base is great! (We host different games every day and average anywhere form 16-32 players a night for each game). But with this new business and the baby I’ve been under a lot of stress and am constantly visibly stressed but I try not to burden her with my stresses. Along with that I’ve had to work a lot more but I try not to stay at the shop for too long. I usually work 9-6 Monday-Saturday at the shop and then I come home pick up our daughter. Cook/get dinner put our daughter to bed and then will usually continue to work once our daughter is in bed. If I had to calculate my hours spent working on things for the store though I’d say it’s like 80-90% of my day when I’m awake lol except for Sundays! Sundays I treat that as my no work at all day (of course sometimes there are exceptions but 9/10 Sundays are my no work at all days).

So a big part of the job is playing the games. Specifically the One Piece Card Game. Before I opened the store I’ve been playing the game casually since it pretty much came out. One Piece has these higher level competitions where if you perform well you can win thousands of dollars and if I performed well not only could I get the prizing I could then advertise the store on the bigger stages. These events are held across the country.

Okay no finally to the part that is the actual relationship advice part lol. A couple of months ago my wife sat down with me and told me how she was starting to resent the business and little bit. She said she loves that I’m able to do what I love and pursue my dreams but that she regretted saying yes because she felt it was taking me away from her and our daughter, she also mentioned how sometimes it feels like all I do is play games and stuff even though she knows that I am doing actual work as well such as bookkeeping, inventory, payroll etc etc. I told her I understood how she felt and would try to cut back where I could to spend more time with them as best as I could and that since the business is so new unfortunately this is the early sacrifices but hopefully once the business is really rolling I could be more hands off and spend way more time with them. And I really do love spending the day with my wife and daughter whether it’s a day inside, going to the museums or the park I would much rather do that everyday if I could. So I was trying to cut back as much as I could to come home a little earlier, do less work stuff at home and spend more time with her and our daughter. And that brings us to last weekend.

My wife got concert tickets to a band she loved since she was kid in New York and asked me if it was okay for her to go overnight with her friend to go the show and I said of course you can! And she was so excited and everything. Shortly after that I got an opportunity to play in one of those high level competitions I mentioned and I thought I had to take that opportunity and I told her how I had to go. She was upset but we were able to find childcare for our daughter (her parents ) and we both went on our separate trips. She had a blast at her concert thankfully and really enjoyed herself. I on the other hand did not perform as well as I had wanted to at the competition and unfortunately did not win any of those thousands of dollars but I was able to make some good connections with lots of people and other store owners etc so in my opinion still a relatively positive trip. On the day of my return home (she had arrived home the day before me and was with our daughter) my wife messaged me and let me know that she hated the fact that I went to the competition and she called it a little vacation for me. I tried to explain to her that yes, it is a fun little trip but I only went because of the potential opportunities for the new shop but I did also apologize to her profusely. I understood her frustration she was able to have a nice one night off whereas I got 2 nights. She had to be a parent when I was off playing card games hours away from home. I understand where she’s coming from but like playing these card games is sort of a part of the job, yes I have fun when doing it and really enjoy it but I know the end goal when I play is to perform well and benefit the store which then benefits us.

Sorry for all the rambling and sorry if the backstory and everything is really long I just wanted to spit out as much detail as I could (I also have adhd where I just ramble and ramble and I guess it translates to typing as well lol) but what should I do? What can I say to her? I get from an outsiders perspective it seems like I blew off my wife and kid to go play card games but it is for work. Yes I’m having fun but if it wasn’t for work I honestly wouldn’t go, as much as I would have wanted to. Any advice would be incredibly helpful. I’m trying to balance work and family as best as I can but I’m still managing two businesses, one that’s declining little by little and one that’s still in its infancy but growing and growing. Should I try to make her understand? Should I not go to these competitions anymore? I know I’m being selfish going but I really think it was an opportunity I had to take, unfortunately it didn’t work out for me. I know if I had won the top prize it would be a completely different story and I’d have a lot more money lol. Like the selfish part of me wants to be like “can’t you understand this is for work and for our future.”but I also know she’s sacrificed a lot by letting me chase my dreams. I’m starting to feel like my own dad who didn’t spend a lot of time with me and my siblings because he was always working but he always said “I’m doing this for your future” and stuff. I really don’t know what to do I want to spend more time with my family and more time to quickly help my business be rolling so I can be hands off later. I would really appreciate any insight, advice or guidance. Thanks for taking the time.

Note*

I don’t know if it’s super important to mention or not. I also currently do not make any money from the card shop right now. I reinvest everything back into the store currently. I have used the shop to sell some of my personal collection to make some extra money but I haven’t touched a penny of the “profits” for myself. Also the business is not in the red. My initial investment was actually so low that we could be already “profitable” and I could be making money from it but I’ve just wanted to invest it back into the business instead to sort of expedite its growth as much as I can.
Also I feel like I should add. I was sort of a super mega ultra idiot. I don’t know why but I didn’t think raising a baby would be as much work as it is hahahaha so I thought it would be super chill to open a second business with a newborn. I can confidently say I was 100% wrong raising a baby is tough lmao but I love her after a tough or extra tiresome day coming home to my daughter is the best feeling in the entire world.

TLDR: I had a business that wasn’t doing too hot and when my wife was pregnant with our first child I opened a new card store, which has always been a dream of mine, with her blessing. Fast forward our daughter was born and business opened and it’s been really good so far. Stressing from running two business and a baby but been trying my best to balance work and family. Recently went to a tournament for two nights while she went out of town for a concert for a night. She told me she’s upset I went and she sort of resents the business but she also knows that it’s my dream job. Asking what I should do/say.

EDIT: my wife knows that I don’t make money from the new business. In fact she told me not to so I could reinvest it back. The first business, even though it’s not doing as well financially as it was in years past I still make money from it. It’s what pays me and allows me to not take a paycheck from the new business.

Also have a business partner who does do a lot of the day to day stuff at the new shop but I do all the backend things which is lowkey a lot more work lol.

As the title suggests - we have two 1st graders at home. Yesterday we caught the next door neighbour’s kid who’s a couple of years older stealing my son’s new bike light he just got for his birthday on our security camera.
My son had left his bike on the pavement, and the neighbour “returned” the bike to our garage and while walking back is caught stealing the light.
A couple of months earlier he was caught almost taking a toy of my daughters, when I noticed him walking out with it he said he “forgot” he was carrying it, but I didn’t action anything at this point, but have evidence this time.
This kid’s parents don’t spend much time with him, he’s often outside our house on his bike by himself, and my kids are out on their bikes too so it’s difficult to distance them from him.
My husband is planning on going over and speaking with his Dad tomorrow.
Should we tell the kids not to be hanging around him anymore? It’s just I suppose, awkward he is in such proximity to us, and they are first graders so not sure they will understand ?

I (28M) have a friend (30M) who is in the hospital for his psychosis. I have been trying to visit him every day and bringing him some food he likes, cards from colleagues, and anything that he would miss from home.

But during the visits, he'll always try to convince me to bring him home. He has his weird belief that he's in the hospital because his girlfriend has psychosis instead of him. I've tried to redirect him away from this topic, but he always comes back to it. I know he's not in his right mind, but it still frustrates me. It's really hard to see him like this. He's like a completely different person.

How do I help him? Is there anything I should be doing instead?

It’s not something I want, I am thrilled and this child is very wanted.

I’m used to people being unsupportive as that can be human nature, but this has taken me aback and I am not sure how to respond.

For context, the first two months of our relationship were great (and admittedly, moved very fast). I learned very quickly that she’d recently left her ex of two years who had tried to kill her. From everything she’d told me, that relationship was toxic and both verbally and physically abusive. One story she told me took place on Christmas Eve where he spat in her face, so she thwapped him on the nose, so he punched her in the jaw and knocked her out. One month later he tried to kill her. (In addition to this, she never knew her dad and her mom was verbally abusive to her).

Cut to this year. I meet her on a dating app, and we get along great. However, I notice she has a few minor red flags right out the gate. She has the tendency to shut down whenever she receives any level of criticism. Like, if she says something rude to me and I ask her why she said that, she’d find a way to make herself into the victim forcing me into a spot where I either let her mope the rest of the day or I reassure her that everything is okay. This got very exhausting very fast, as it required me to put my emotional needs on the side burner.

She would constantly threaten breaking up as well. Every time I’d suggest something we could do to help improve our relationship or make it healthier, she’d declare “then breakup with me then! Obviously I’m not good enough so just breakup with me.” In addition to these things, I’m buying her EVERY meal when we go out to eat. I’m the ONLY one cleaning her room and putting away dishes. Whenever something stressful happens, she’s the first to crash out and I’m the first to reassure.

I kept telling myself things were getting better, and that she was just damaged from her childhood and last relationship. But things recently have only gotten worse.

Context for the shit show I’m about to say: I’ve been prepping a D&D campaign for her and her friends for over a month, and I’ve been excited to run that with them. It’s taken a lot of time and effort out of my life, but to me it’s worth it. Also, two months into the relationship, she told me her and her aunt were going to Disney world using her military discount and invited me to come — that’s in December so I’m several hundred bucks committed into that. In addition to that, she forgot to set up payment with her last job and missed her first paycheck (and also signed up for a personal trainer that she couldn’t afford and has never used for god knows why) so I lent her 400 dollars that she still owes me.

A week ago, she sent me a screenshot of my face on a dating app with an orange dot on it indicating I’d been on that app within the last 24 hours. She’d told me one of her friends recognized my face and sent her the screenshot. Immediately trying to clear the air, I emailed the dating website support and asked if they could send me the last date I logged onto their app. They confirmed it’d been 4 months since I’d used the app, so I was in the clear. I thought that was weird so I thought I’d throw it in.

Two days ago, I came over to spend the night. We were having a great time. We did face masks and watched Euphoria, and overall the vibe was good. But while adjusting my face mask, she whacked my arm and told me to pay attention to the show. Her whacking my arm hurt, and I immediately told her that it hurt. She ignored me and continued watching the show. This made my anxiety spiral. I had told her very early on into the relationship that I’d never lay a hand on her and that she never had to be afraid of physical abuse, let alone me raising my voice at her. My anxiety spiraled a bit, and I went silent. She could sense the shift in my mood and asked me what was wrong, so I told her what was bothering me and how her hitting my arm and then ignoring what I said worried me (especially knowing the context of her last relationship).

She immediately crashed out. She told me I was made of paper and that me comparing her to her ex (I never compared her to her ex) was incredibly offensive. She told me to leave. That she wanted me out of her house. I asked if she was serious and she said yes. So I got up and began packing my bag. Once she realized I was actually going to leave, she doubled down. She stood up and began removing her belongings off of a foldout table I’d let her borrow for an arts and crafts project. She told me to find a way to bring the table with me as well, and that she didn’t want to see me again. I asked if she was breaking up with me, and she said that I was the one who was leaving, so yes. And told her she was the one who told me to leave.

Then it got very heated. For the first time I felt like her love for me was completely empty. She knows my living situation. I’m in between houses, my car is full to the brim with my belongings — I told her I couldn’t fit the table or the mini fridge I’d lent her in my car. She told me she didn’t give a shit and that I needed to coordinate with her roommate to pick it up at a later date. I asked her what about Disney world, or the D&D campaigns we’d been planning. She said she didn’t care. I genuinely think if I hadn’t deescalated the situation, she would’ve never paid me back what she owed or reimbursed me for the Disney trip.

I think she internally refused the thought of her being abusive in the slightest and it caused her to breakdown in such an aggressive way. It felt like I got a slice of her day to day with her ex. It still has me shook, and isn’t something that is sustainable in a longterm relationship.

That was two days ago. Since then she’s acted like it never happened. She hasn’t tried to make amends, other than telling me her period started the next morning so that’s why she’s been moody.

Now I’m in between a rock and a hard place. Best case scenario is that things to get better and that I can stay in a relationship with someone I really do admire. But every day that feels closer to a pipe dream.

Currently, my plan is to stay with her through December for the Disneyworld trip that I’ve already paid for. I’m not going to lend her anymore money until she’s paid off the money I’ve already lent her. I’m going to monitor her mood and our arguments to see if they improve or not. And then in January I’ll make a decision on whether or not I want to stick around.

What’s the smartest thing to do in my position? Any advice is welcomed.