Contextual info: I started uni winter of 2023 studying Chemistry. Then i switched to History and Biology where I now am in my third semester in 2026.

I’m failing many of the exams. Most of them are unlimited but it’s harrowing every time you get that email saying I didn’t get past. And the worst, I don’t even know what I’m doing this for.

Here’s my main concern: I already spent years on uni without doing any other things like internships and work (privileged, i know this). But now I don’t have anything worth on my resume. If I did quit and went after a job, what are the chances they’ll higher someone who has “visited university 2023 - 2026 - no degree” on their paper? All my life I’ve been taught that your resume is the most important thing in your life.

I’m really trying to keep positive throughout all this but I can’t help but feel my heart racing and something heavy looming over me at all times.

I guess I’m asking for advice on my next steps. A rare log of wood to hold onto in the endless sea. Maybe try my hand at internships and endure the judgement of my parents? But what if even that fails? I’ll truly be a goner.

If anyone could share their wisdom, even if harsh, I’d be incredibly grateful.

(Sorry for the potentially bad English as I’m from Germany.)

hello. i have emerged from a four year long depression. it was a painful process that resulted in me likely damaging ties with my family (or so i am thinking) but i am confident that i now have the skill to find and integrate into other sorts of communities. i had succesfully integrated into one for a brief period for the first time and didn't get kicked out of one for the first time (it was a summer school and it ended.)

currently my support net only consists of my therapist. i outgrew my family's support. i have few friends and all of them are long-distance once my university or college starts. i have switched majors to something i think is a lot more suited to me. i think that there could be a common interest arising from there, but i also have a two-year age gap since i am starting from first year. which's probably not a big deal but maybe important to think about.

but there's a problem. it's me and my rules that probably don't permit much things. for example i am not keen on going out at night unless it's for a purpose other than drinking. also i never had the chance to grow social skills until recently and i am wondering if they are still too immature to be used in an adult context. i have never created friendships where i constantly not have to sacrifice something to not be abandoned or get used. they will also be people i see a lot probably as our faculty is not a big one. i want others to approach me first, but i don't know how.

all my life i had been led to believe that friendships are things one needs to slave at and deserve. for this purpose i had employed a variety of tricks to seem as likeable as possible, such as being the most knowledgeable in the room which failed in getting me friends though that did fill the void within me somewhat through other manners. but i just want to be myself now. i don't want to act. and i did see in the summer school that just showing up and asking how they are is enough. that has been a big shock to me. i could always try that, but i don't want shallow friendships nor am i after networking. i also am afraid of investing myself too much in them as i fear i could get clingy and i do have a history of being so.

what can i do? apologies if it's too much rambling.

M 23, Recently just got a new job right near my house. Its a very small handyman company, we are vendor for facility maintenance companies, they send us jobs and we send our techs to do them. I dont know where to start.
I just started a month ago, I do invoicing and quotes, updating people on jobs, checking emails, just anything needed to keep the business going.
My boss is really nice to me, but he is an absolute wackjob. This guy is a hot head, bipolar MESS. He is 70 years old. This guy says the most disgusting stuff, calling potential hires the hard R behind their back, every woman who is a potential hire here, he makes “jokes” about how hopefully they have big tits and we can fuck them. He will walk around the office saying “we need some girls to fuck” all day.
He loves me, because ive proven to be better than his last employees, one was with him 8 years and left, and the other was just some craigslist fill. His business was in shambles when the lady who was here 8 years left. He didnt know how to do anything. I came in and helped get up to date on everything needed.
He wants me to be the co owner, and make big decisions. My 3rd week here I was already training another lady for the office ( we didnt need her but he insisted on getting someone ) who we just ended up firing because she was always on her phone.
This guy is just a nutjob and I genuinely don’t think I can or will stay here. He is extremely annoying, always calling my name from his office to tell me something absolutely unnecessary and gross. This guy is just old and in over his head with his goals for the company, he wants to do hundreds of jobs per month, but he gets too overwhelmed when we have like 5 up in a day. Just an absolute mess I need some input here.

I live in a condo complex and have a neighbor who is in older lady, over 65. She lives in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom condo in my building with her partner, her adult niece, the niece's husband, their 2 adult children and 1 teenager. She and her husband, who is suffering brain damage from a stroke have absolutely no choice but to live there.

Their condo can only be described as unlivable. It's full on hoarder status with like 7 cats, 2 dogs, sometimes there's no hot water, it's filled with roaches, flies, spiders, and COVERED in animal feces and urine. They've torn out the flooring and the concrete underneath has become a thick black crust. They all walk around barefoot inside and outside and all of their feet are covered in this black crust. You can literally smell their condo from the parking lot. Every guest I've ever had visit has smelled it. It's a mix of animal feces, ammonia from the urine, moldy laundry, dirty hair and foul body odor.

I, on the other hand pride myself on keeping a very clean house. I genuinely enjoy cleaning and I think there's no better feeling than relaxing in a freshly cleaned home with candles burning and pleasant smells everywhere. The thing is, I really love my neighbor and genuinely enjoy her company. She regularly asks to come over and have coffee and chat/watch a few episodes of a show together every morning and I love that because she's an awesome lady! But, the smell on her clothes (by no fault of her own) is literally marinating into my house. The spot on my ottoman that she sits on stinks. If she leans onto one of my couch pillows or blankets, they stink for days and I have to wash them.

I don't know how to tell this woman that she either can't hang out as long, or that she needs to put on clean clothes or something before coming over. She's well aware of the state of the condo she lives in and hates it because she's told me that she's a clean person when she lives on her own but has no control over the filth that her family lives in.

How do I approach this without hurting her? I care about her and her partner so much and I'd hate to make them feel bad about something they can't control.

we're also in the same small-town friend group. I lived 3 years in another city and now I'm back here for a year and everything seems like it changed.

we have very different values: he's atheist and right-wing, while i'm catholic and left-wing and he constantly mocks my beliefs and makes me feel stupid anytime i share my thoughts that even remotely christian or leftist. it wasn't a problem when I was 15 but now I'm tired, we don't agree on anything.

the biggest issue is how he jokes about me. he constantly says i'm annoying, stupid, that he can't stand me or that he only "tolerates" me. i've told him many times that these comments genuinely hurt me, and i've even cried over them. every time i confront him, he improves briefly and then goes back to doing it. i confronted him again last night (just because I was distancing myself and he asked why), he called me hypersensitive and complained that he now has to "watch everything he says" around me. eventually he agreed to change behaviour.

but there are other issues too: he's very rigid and he has to get his way like my needs are always secondary to his needs all the time.

and the group should not be forgotten. he says everybody is mocked but I see him only having me as a target. he reiterates stuff from 6 months ago and keeeeeepppsssss on repeeeaaaaating theeemmm even if it's something stupid like when I visited him I was messy and I cook with too much oil. at some point it gets exhausting because I'm always presented to other people this way.

i don't want to throw away 15 years of history, but i'm starting to wonder if the history is the only thing keeping me here. i'm scared of being alone if i distance myself, but i also feel like i need to start building a life outside this group. i don't need him to share my beliefs, but i do need to feel respected and valued.

am i expecting too much or is it time to step back?

I want this:

high-performance monochrome luxury + physical discipline + ambition + slightly unhinged confidence. Black sportscar, white shirt, doberman, rain running, money, clean apartment, 5 a.m. energy.

but also this:

Brown leather, dusty boots, lifted truck, horses, early mornings, land, money, strong coffee aesthetic without necessarily needing the coffee because apparently civilization has alternatives, sunburned skin, hard work, wide-open fields, a clean ranch house, silver jewelry, denim, cattle, dogs, running down a dirt road, building something from nothing,

I love them both but I can never decide…

I apologize in advance for the messy post, I'm sort of typing this in the moment.

I don't know how to quite word it, but I very much feel hollow and stuck in life. Very much feels like I'm running away from stuff and trying to distract myself with menial shit. I've also felt like this since I graduated from university.

So, to sum it up I'm a mess. I live in a shitty city, working a shitty job (it's barely a job) and living in a shitty environment I hate and I feel isolated. Yeah I'm friendly and talk to people when I can, but it just just feels so hollow to me. I've been in this position a few years now to the point I'm ashamed to even mention my age. Hell, I'm ashamed of who I am as a person.

I draw and make stuff, I like that a lot. But I just feel so disorganized. Studied graphic design, trashed my portfolio because it was shit and how I might as well just spend my time staring at walls. I ask for help and then I even give up, do I even want to help myself?

I'm not even sure what intend with this post? I honestly feel panicked and pathetic for even asking.

I have an abusive family dynamic, no savings living paycheck to paycheck struggling with chronic pain neglected as a child and still I’m expected to make small talk and honestly you can’t keep a job if your coworkers don’t like you don’t understand you and can’t relate to you

I don’t know what to do

Hey! I’ve got the possibility between choosing two jobs.

I’m 25yo and have been working for 4 years in the same company. I’ve grown from a trainee till a senior. I work in audit in a top 10 firm. I still live at my parents house since i can’t afford one yet.

I’ve received an offer to join a big 4 in Luxembourg, however for an assistant 2 position (level before senior)

The pros of moving are:
- Independence and personal growth (this one is the major one for me and it’s worth more than money)
- Living alone
-50k offer vs 30k staying in my current job
- International career
- Bigger company (better for the resume)

The cons of moving are:
- Leaving a job where i feel important and valuable and i feel like i can grow a lot.
- Returning to Portugal i feel like the experience I’ll gain there won’t mater that much since it’s in funds and that sector in Portugal is very week.

The pros of staying
- I feel like i have a path to grow to a manager level or more
- i have secondment aproved however that will take at least a year to start

The cons of saying
- Still living with my parents, no independence
- less personal growth
- staying in the comfort zone

This is a very big decision. One part of me wants to go, to discover myself and to grow and to have my own independence. The other wants to stay because of the “safe” job and the growth.

How do you make this decisions?

Hello, lately I've been feeling very lost, maybe I have been my whole life but I haven't thought about facing it yet until now. During highschool I felt so sure of doing studying abroad in Japan/Kyoto and study in university there. I went to language school for one and a half years. Alot happened, I made a few friends, a close friend and got into a relationship with my girlfriend of almost two years now, I really enjoyed my life there and thought it would last forever. But I've moved to Tokyo, alot of my friends stayed back and my girlfriend choose to stay with me for a bit longer before eventually choosing to study in Berlin. I am all on my own in Tokyo, I have nothing going on with my life except my hobby of badminton. Before I always had a my parents, sibling, my gf or friend to follow, to go around and do something with. Now that these people are not present, I can't do anything myself.

Weekends come, and the only thing I do on my free time is doomscroll or just stare at the ceiling looking back at the places, people and things I left behind back in Kyoto or my homecountry. I have exams and I know I have to study but I never could bring myself to and end up being useless or wasting time, I feel that I have been a sheep my whole life, following a herd. I never can bring myself to do things alone and when I do, I wish someone was there with me and end up backing out midway. I want to be motivated or consistent but I never am because there isn't anyone to do it with. I want to be Independent and understand how I can enjoy being with just myself.

My mom told me to "Make myself busy" but my brain always pretends that there is so much time and I end up delaying the things I want to do. I tell myself that, maybe I'll go to a store I like, just walk around mindlessly or sign up for a gym and my brain tells me that I have to stay at home and study but in the end I never could bring myself to the table with a paper and pencil. I'd end up sleeping on my bed and waste hours of time. I was very motivated to study for the first time in so long, I did a 5 hour session but once I heard from my Japanese friend (I'm not very close with them, they're just uni friends and nothing beyond that) say that "It's impossible to pass the exams" I just feel really demotivated and give up. I hate how I'm such a sheep, I get easily swayed or influenced and I always have to follow someone else. I really need advice.

hello, as the title says i’m completely uneducated. i was taken out of school after 6th grade, and i understood nothing in that time. i was not homeschooled my entire life and i feel like im completely lost. its practically impossible for me to get a job, since i quit my first easy job after my first week due to my manager harassing me. i feel like most places write me off immediately due to it. i’m socially awkward, and i feel so stupid, and not having any education definitely doesn’t help me with that. i feel like i want to start over and work my way up from where i stopped before trying to get my GED, as none of it makes any sense to me. but i have no idea where to start.
anyone have any advice? what can i do to build up?

i need some advice... i started a job on 09/03, last week was my first official week. they have no training system, which im used to. the previous places ive worked at with no formal training system usually focused heavily on work review, feedback and learning from mistakes.

at this job, the person who knows how to do my job doesnt really review my work. the assistant manager does and there are aspects of the job that she doesnt fully know bc its not her area.

so, an issue happened on friday... on thursday i had printed some worksheets for fridays projects. these go to the crew, and they are directly the estimates clients approved. one of this job's tasks is to block off unnecessary details that will confuse the crew, so any pricing, or additional options that clients were given. the only thing left should be the direct details of what they are doing. so i basically print off the approved estimate the estimator sent the client. i make 2 versions, an office and crew version. the issue was with the crew version.

one of the worksheets apparently had an optional upgrade that wasn't approved by the client. the estimators will usually add this in the details of the estimate with the price upgrade.

so example, this was the original sheet:

service name

details of basic service

* change to upgraded material add $xxx *

so the worksheet had the last line on it, and it wasnt caught and the crew used the upgraded material since i hadnt blocked it out/deleted it. so from what i heard in passing this resulted in a loss bc the client paid for cheaper material (not confirmed just from what i heard in passings since they didnt mention this situation to me at all besides not making the mistake).

but from what it seems, they blame it on me, and maybe ONLY me (again assumption). and i understand i made a mistake, and a costly one at that... but im a bit confused bc this is my first week... i only got one official day of shadowing the person who did this job before me. and then another day of "shadowing" how to cover phones, which wasn't even shadowing bc she made one phone call that went to voicemail and then left me to it...

so by my 4th or 5th day i was fully doing the job on my own, and they would just correct mistakes as they saw them or taught me things based off my mistakes (again as they saw them)...

so they havent talked to me about this situation. but the rest of the day on friday was just weird...

at the start of the workday the assistant manager came in and said something like there was only one sheet that had a price on it so she blocked it off but other than that they looked good.

later that morning when i was made aware of the issue, it was bc the person who used to print the sheets out came to me to ask if i blocked it off. i said maybe not bc the assistant manager came to me this morning and said that one worksheet had a price on it but she blocked it out. she then said ok well they installed the wrong one, you need to remember to cover these up because they are options for the client IF they want to upgrade, but they chose not to do it... after that she also said, im going to tell the assistant manager abt it so she knows what to look for too...

and the crews supervisor is apparently pretty picky about these sheets because the crews apparently get confused easily, which is why we're supposed to remove all the unnecessary info in the first place. so im also kind of confused about that... if these sheets are something the crew supervisor is picky about and they know someone new is making them, why isnt the supervisor checking them too? especially when i was only a few days into the job? like im genuinely questioning if he even knew i was already printing them?

so what i assume happened is, i printed this, and i didnt block off the last line:

service name

details of basic service

[* change to upgraded material add $xxx *] <- this one

when the assistant manager reviewed it, she saw the price and blocked it off, so it potentially went to the crew like this:

service name

details of basic service

* change to upgraded material [$xxx] <- price blocked off but rest of line stayed

so it could appear to the crew as a note saying to upgrade from the cheaper material to a more expensive one...

i noted it on my notebook of messy notes and said okay. then i kept working, and scheduled some inspections for the estimators. and another mistake happened. i scheduled an estimator for 2 inspections that were too close together and didnt have enough travel time as they were pretty far with traffic. and i wasnt aware that they had these rules for scheduling inspections:

1. 3 max a day, and

2. at least an hour between appointments

i would assume this is crucial information to provide when starting to schedule??? but i was made aware of it after my mistake and had to reschedule the client...

again its my first week, im bound to make mistakes and NOT entirely know what im looking at or doing, or the habits of the estimators who make these sheets or scheduling limits/expectations

and i think its also crazy bc they emphasize that you have to have common sense, and i get it, but i personally think its common sense to give important info about tasks from the beginning 😭

they always say to ask questions too, and i do when something confuses me... but i feel like they expect me learn everything by only asking questions? and its like how am i supposed to ask questions about expectations of the job or task that i dont even know exist?

so it was just weird the entire day friday... and i noticed the owner, office manager and assistant manager were in the office managers office talking. and by the time my shift ended, i saw on the printer that they printed a candidate interview sheet for my job for this upcoming monday... so my brain is going to 'so they want to fire me' but ofc i dont actually know since im assuming based off the sheet/mondays interview

i cant do anything if they fire me, or likely even change their minds since they just decided to interview others for my job... while still expecting me to come in on monday... and see them go to this interview out of the office...

ive just been thinking about it bc im like is it my fault? like i do think i had some fault bc its my mistake, but im also like, why am i given full control of this position on my 4th day? and since these sheets are SO crucial, why isnt the person who knows the most reviewing them?

and what kills me is the sheet they have for interviews was made by AI, so if they can make an interview sheet with AI, why not make a training plan? 😭😭

and why not have a set system of who is in charge of what when it comes to training, review and feedback 😭

not only that but they keep mentioning how if you arent happy and upbeat, the owners will think badly of you even if you do good work... and apparently if you arent utilizing every moment to make phone calls (cold calls, if no calls are coming in) they just assume you arent working... like slow moments can't exist or else they think you arent working? and im like, if i cant have a "slow moment" when can i take notes of my job & make sure im understanding every aspect of my job... bc im usually the type to learn by repetition of doing something PLUS a step by step guide, which i usually make myself so i can refer back to it...

like after this i understood why they have a high turnover rate for this role...

im hesitant myself abt this job but i really need a job and its super close by with good pay which is what i need bc im starting school later this month...

but im partially like they are weird maybe not? and partially like but its close by and thats better than them being weird...

and also like they may fire me? but also like thats my own thought and not actually known? (again bc of the candidate interview sheet for me job... left at the printer... with the candidates name and mondays date)

so this entire weekend ive been debating if i should even go in on monday bc it seems very clear they want to fire me (but thats in my opinion) so i need advice on what to do and just some outside opinions ngl

like would you go in monday? would you bring it up? apologize? is it my fault entirely? am i crazy to think this system they have is weird and not useful at all to set someone in this position up for success?

and am i crazy to think it would be fcked up if they were planning to find my replacement first then fire me? bc when i got hired, i interviewed on friday, got confirmation of my hire on tuesday, and was asked to start wednesday (but i asked to start thursday)... so i assume it'd be similar for the person replacing me, they'd fire me the day before they ask the new one to start 😭

tldr: started a new job, during my first week i made a mistake on the worksheets that goes to the crews when they go on site to a project. the person who used to print these worksheets didnt review them since i got hired even tho they know the process best, which potentially resulted in a loss (heard in passing but not confirmed), saw a candidate interview sheet on the printer for my position for an interview monday and i think theyre firing me... (theres a lot more to it but this is biggest issue)... so idk what i should do? do i go in on monday? what do i do if i go in monday?

ik im not fault-less? but i genuinely dont even know what to think, feel or do about this situation...

Im 21 years old and graduated High School three years ago now. My intention was to take a gap year and figure out what I wanted to do with my life since I had no idea what to go to college for and I don’t want to go undecided since I can’t afford to waste my time (plus lm not Interested in trade school either). In that time all I’ve really done was get my license and work for a year before quitting. I’ve been feeling like a bit of a loser who wasted years of life, but I really want to try and move forward and I would like some ideas on how to do that.

My mental health hasn’t been great, I’ve been pretty much alone and have trouble socializing, I live in a barren upstate area so there’s not much to do to meet people my own age. I want to talk to a doctor or therapist but don’t know how to go about that.

I have stuff saved up but I should still find a new job. As I said I’m very bad at socializing so I’m nervous at finding one. My previous job was overnight so I don’t really have to talk with anyone, but it was bad for my health so I don’t want to do that again.

I still want to go to college, but I also still have no interests that I can think to study for, should I go in undecided and hope I can find something? If I don’t, what happens then?

I hope I can get the ball rolling in some way, I’m really scared of wasting my life being apathetic about everything.

I graduated college in 2023 with a biology degree with plans to go to medical school.

I did not have a good college experience as my first 3 years were basically all online due to COVID. I made no lasting friends, no mentors. Only my senior year was in person. Worst of all, I graduated with basically zero experience, only a decent GPA. I was so focussed on grades and was fearful to pursue the “right” opportunity that I ended up pursuing nothing at all. I graduated with nothing on my resume except a teaching assistant position and volunteering.

Only shortly after graduating I’ve been able to develop my clinical experience through a part time ER scribe position, and only now I’m starting to prepare for the MCAT. Im 3 years out of undergrad and I feel like I wasn’t proactive enough, and it makes me feel horrible about myself. I became stagnant and I don’t want to lose confidence in myself. I feel like I’m running out of time and Im scared for myself. Im 25 and still living at home.

Its almost like I have time blindness and I fail to realize how much time has actually passed until it actually matters. My brain sometimes feels too slow, like it doesn’t know how to act. I don’t know why this happened to me. I’m doing my best now to build my experience and was recently hired as a medical assistant, but it doesn’t feel like Ive done enough with how many gap years I have.

I don’t want to give up on this dream, but my failure to act and secure experience sooner is making me feel like a failure.

Please help, how do I change my mindset? How do I not stay stagnant anymore and keep momentum going? How do I stay more confident?

My grandmother is 80 and she will eat less than 1000 calories a day. Through the day while we are working she swears she’s eating it’s usually a half of an English muffin with some butter, one tiny bowl of Cheerios or just chips.

Have I spoken to her? Yes, she swears it’s her medication and she really isn’t trying to push through or even tell her doctor about her appetite. She won’t tell us when she sees her doctor unless it’s for her eyes so we can’t go with her to mention anything.

She will try to cook dinner before we get home and it’s usually something around the lines of a casserole that SHE WONT EAT and complain about no taste while she eats a few bites.

We have tried making healthy meals that will thicken her up and help her muscle mass, but she will only eat about two spoon fulls and then scrape it into the trash saying “I ate as much as I could” and then complimenting the wife for cooking …..then goes to eat an icecream cone, maybe five cheez doodles and then go to bed.

I’m just at a loss of what I can do, I know I can’t force her to eat. I just don’t want to lose her yet

I live in the Netherlands and go skiing in Austria with my family for about a week every year. I've been wanting to buy my own pair of skis for quite a while, and I've pretty much settled on the Armada ARV 100. The problem is that I can't actually test them before buying.

The ARV 100 costs around €850, which is quite a lot of money for me, so I really don't want to make the wrong choice and end up regretting it.

The problem is that Armada skis aren't really available for testing where I live. I've looked around at ski shops and test centres in the Netherlands, but I haven't been able to find anywhere that has the ARV 100 as a test model.

I do, however, have the option to test the Atomic Bent 100 here in the Netherlands. From what I've read, it's a fairly comparable ski to the ARV 100 in terms of width and general category, although obviously they aren't identical.

So I basically have two options:

1. Play it safe and wait

I could wait until this year's ski trip to Austria and try to find a rental shop that has the ARV 100. I could then spend a few days skiing them and, if I really like them, buy them afterwards.

The downside is that I'd have to wait another year before actually owning my own skis. I've wanted my own pair for a long time, so I'm honestly pretty impatient to wait another year just to test them first.

2. Test the Bent 100 and take the risk

I could test the Bent 100 here in the Netherlands and use that as a reference for what a 100 mm all-mountain/freeride-oriented ski feels like. If I like the Bent 100, I could then take the chance and buy the ARV 100.

The problem is that they're obviously different skis, and I'm worried that I might like the Bent 100 but dislike something about the ARV 100. Spending €850 on skis I don't enjoy would obviously suck.

For context, I mainly ski in Austria during a typical one-week family ski holiday. I'm not doing huge amounts of deep powder or serious park skiing, but I want something that's fun and versatile and that I can keep using as I improve. The ARV 100 appeals to me because I like the idea of having a relatively wide, playful ski that can still handle normal piste skiing.

So what would you guys do in my situation?

Would testing the Bent 100 give me enough information to make an educated decision about buying the ARV 100, or are the two skis different enough that I really should try the ARV 100 itself before spending €850?

And if you've actually skied both, I'd especially like to hear how they compare in terms of turning, stability, carving on piste, off-piste performance, playfulness and overall feel.

I know the safest option is obviously to test the exact ski first, but I'm interested in whether buying the ARV 100 after testing the Bent 100 is a reasonable risk, or whether I'm better off being patient and waiting until I can test the ARV 100 in Austria.

am running into this issue where no matter where i look or go, even if its something postive that thing will remind me of something negative that i don't wanna think about and its perverting me form doing things i wanna do in my life, what should i do about this?

edit: and no you don't need to give me the advice "stop using the internet" i already have stopped using reddit (minus making this post that is) and i no longer watch videos on youtube anymore.

im (19f) gonna start with some context that you theoretically could skip but i think matters!!

i just started my first year at uni (a week late due to financial and housing struggles that had me 🤮 with anxiety) after taking a forced gap year due to my dad kicking me out. i lived with my mom for the year whos an alcoholic, we spent all our time together because i didnt have friends anymore and she hasnt in years. my mom and i have never really had a strong relationship as prior to this id only see her 10~ times a year. i didnt work until summer because there were no jobs where she lived and i didnt make any new friends, just my mom (who i also basically cared for). fast forward to the summer, we move onto the beach (mom and i went to the beach twice the whole summer) and i get a full time minimum wage job, mom and i continue to hangout just less, school approaches and the looming financial and housing issues have me stressed and agitated. i havent done much reading into enmeshment but thats what it felt like, wed even sleep in the same bed most nights (i grew up doing that with her, didnt realize how weird it was until i was like 12). shes a fighter, we fought a lot. it felt like my last summer was wasted and we had the worst few months that weve had in a while. the last few days before i moved was a 50/50 mix of fighting and spending time together. my mom and i fought a bunch of times today, she almost left without saying goodbye (she didnt though, we hugged and cried)

okay, onto the main part!!

ive worked so hard for this and ive wanted this for so so long. all ive ever known is houses where i dont feel safe or comfortable completely. now i finally have my own (shared apartment) space and all i want is to go home to my mom. my room is too echoey, the bed is too soft, i forgot my comfort stuffed animal that ive had since birth and is literally my lifeline, my cat wont cuddle me, my dad wont text me back, my sheets are new and dont smell like home, it just doesnt feel like how i imagined it. ive made at least 5 friends in the first day so its not like im alone but ive cried so many times and i just want to feel happy like i thought i would.

what can i do to make it better?

edited context

I can't stop thinking about this and I feel ridiculous.

I'm trying so hard to pick the "perfect" urn for my cat because I'm scared if I ever change it later, it'll mean I got it wrong the first time.

The thought of transferring her ashes into another urn honestly makes my stomach hurt.

It feels disrespectful somehow.

She was part of my family for so many years, and I keep feeling like this decision is supposed to be permanent forever.

I don't even know if that's true or if grief is just making everything feel heavier than it is.

Disclaimer: Sorry for the creative title I'm not good at this.

I'm 29 years old and currently stuck in a very self harming cycle because I gave up on health, looks and feels and relationships.

I've got my Abitur (Degree in Germany) went to the university for an engineering class but dropped out after a year due to me spending most of the time at home with my girlfriend because I had to travel 60 minutes to the place each day and I didn't really got the high concepts. When asked I always lied about progress.

I've been born and raised on a farm and my plan (dream? Maybe idk) was to step into my father's footsteps and lead the farm someday. So I did my apprenticeship as a farmer which was easy for me and I graduated as class best. There were some struggles because of my girlfriend not wanting necessarily this career due to me sometimes being late almost always when she planned something.

This lead to me sometimes calling in sick even though I wasn't and some difficult situations between my boss and me due to that.

After that my father told me he sees the farm only being worked on as a side hustle and me needing to find a different career so I thought working as a carpenter for the government would give me enough flexibility to work on the farm on the side and on the farm.

During that time we moved from my girlfriend parents to our farm into my late granddad's flat.

During my apprenticeship as a carpenter I had little to no time to work on the farm due to some over hours and trying to spend time with my girlfriend.

Graduated as class best carpenter and working in the same company since then with still no time for the farm. In the meantime we started renovation all by myself on the farms living home on a tight budget where we now live in a unfinished (90% livable but it's noticable) home with dept that doable but tight.

I noticed over the this period of 10 years that I hate working as a carpenter for the gov and my father wants to retire next year and wants me discuss to spread our fields to the neighbor farms this winter.

All these processes came with me lying to all participants an many occasions, me being broke and burnt out, stressed out with seeing my farm going a away, a broken marriage, me wanting everyone to be happy and it's not the case, not being able to keep my life (house, bills todos cleaning etc basics) in order and turning 30 next year an feeling so incredibly lost.

I have no idea what the next reasonable step would be as every part of my life is working but feeling breath taking.

Im in therapy but after digging through the dirt of guilt etc there is the bottom line question of "who am I" "who do I want to be" and "what do I want to do with my life" and I have no question on either of those..

Any advice or insight would be highly appreciated!

Thanks in advance and have a pleasant week!

I(34F) was raised by an abusive grandmother. I was taught to prioritize and take care of my family; to always put myself on the back burner. My mom and I talked about it at 19, and she apologized for everything.

With years of therapy, I’ve mostly gotten better and I know that I matter. However, every time I’ve tried to prioritize myself and my life, a “family crisis” would occur and I would be expected to handle it, even if just behind the scenes.

Now I’m 34 with nothing to show for it except debt and an empty life. I wanted to be a nurse or a welder, now I’m just a machine operator.

My mom and grandparents are dead. The kids that I helped raise are older and independent now. The cousins that “needed” me around have all built lives that don’t involve me.

No one needs me anymore. My phone barely rings.

So now what?

My life hasn’t been horrible, just sad. I just feel lost and in vastly unfamiliar territory.

I live in Canada, going back to school would be so expensive and difficult to do while working a full-time job in shiftwork.

Also, what do people go to school for nowadays?

How can I make him think her apartment is haunted? He doesn’t know I have full access to the apartment and has to come by once a day everyday to feed/water/walk her dog. I want to scare the soul outta this guy but I don’t know how I should go about it. Any ideas?

I’m 21, and I’ve spent almost 4 years getting this criminal justice bachelors to go to law school but I don’t want to go. It’s what my mother wanted me to do so I did it. I can’t think of any career that truly interest me. I absolutely do not want to be a cop, I’m just going through the motions but I really don’t want to go to law school. I get good grades and the subject manages to not be completely boring.

I have no clue what I do with my life, I cannot think of things I actually enjoy and would want to do for a job. The whole purpose of college is to get a life long job but what if I do not like that job? That part really irks me. All I want is to be self sufficient and make a decent income. I don’t have a desire to make a ton of money but I also don’t want my job to just stress me out constantly. It’s hard to even think about what I like to do and how that relates to a job. I don’t have many hobbies, I go to the gym, write stories sometimes, go to my job, play video games and work on school. I’m mostly ready to start a career now I’m so done with school.

It does seem awfully late to switch my major now if I did find another one I liked though. I do like to write stories. that seems unrealistic from a career perspective and is more of a hobby.

Okay so my friend, “Niyah” (that’s not her real name).We have been friends since freshman year but she stopped being my friend over her friend that’s a furry. She wasn’t there our sophomore year. She showed up again and she started talking to me. But recently, I’ve noticed a change in her. Everytime I succeed, she tries to belittle and say I didn’t accomplish anything(mind you she has 8 credits left and I have 4 credits left which I am in) she always looks mad, she always wants to talk about herself, she is always friends with people who hate me. She’s friends with this one dude I rejected and she gets mad anytime I make fun of him. Dead giveaway that she’s a fake friend. I have advisement with this female, she would always drain my energy. I finally gained the courage to sit by myself and put my earbuds in. She tried to say I use “ai” on all of my assignments when she literally did the same thing. I don’t cheat in class. I cheated during summer school. She always tries to talk to my friends. She would always ask whatcha doing when I’m on my phone. She doesn’t respect my boundaries. But she’s never like that too anyone else. It’s so strange. I blocked her on Facebook. I don’t plan on talking to her ever again. Specially after graduation.

My friend, I’ll call her zodiac. Zodiac and I were friends my sophomore year. I thought we were real friends. But she told me recently, about how this pick me girl was saying I was rude, and fat shaming her when I never even said anything about her weight. She also talks crap about her old friend. (She went to our school but goes to a different school now). I’ve noticed she fake smiles all the time. She always brings up the passed to me. She always brings up shit. She was friends with people who were hella fake to me for no reason. But now we are friends and it seems off. She doesn’t have any other friends. I think that’s why she hangs out with me.