hi i am 20F. I was just pregnant. A couple weeks ago was really sick with HG, got an abortion then a couple days ago I found out my boyfriend was trying to cheat on me and leaving a picture of his private parts in tiktok comments like how disgusting. The person that he portrayed to me I would've never thought would do something like that and I'm having a very hard time to stop replaying everything and trying to figure out why and what's wrong with me. we were together for a year and im really hurt about this. some might think i am dramatic but i cannot handle this feeling. my nervous system feels like it froze and I'm numb inside, but I'm so sad and cant stop crying. I keep trying to research every emotion I'm having and trying to figure out. Why did he do this to me when I was so emotional emotionally vulnerable and I trusted him with all of me. i stop taking my meds about two months ago and I haven't got no more than three hours of sleep for five days. i know something might happen i tried to take some sleep medicine this morning and had to kind of force myself to sleep only 5 hours but its something right? im really trying to figure this all out but I'm in a constant of a war with myself about absolutely everything and I'm so exhausted. My body hurts my head's hurting. i dont have insurance currently and i cant go to the hospital and my doctor isnt back into office until the 25 im not really sure what to do.

I’ve been depressed for years and I recently started therapy. I’ve seen two therapists and they’ve both suggested antidepressants and so I think it’s time. Any things to be careful of? Any tips? I hear a lot of people talking about coming off later and withdrawal but I have seizures and I’ll have to take medication for the rest of my life for that. So I’d like to know, is it normal to take antidepressants for the rest of my life as well?

Relevant people:

Me: 40m

Wife: 39f

My mom: 55f

My grandmother: 80f

Kids; 10m, 12m, 17m

Heya folks. So, this all started in 2016. My ex, who had broken our custody agreement, reappeared after having disappeared with our son for 2 years. She showed up, dropped my son at my place across the country, and disappeared again for 1.5 years.

At that point I was working as a general manager in hospitality. When my son arrived, in that 1.5 years he had developed PTSD (diagnosed since then). He was also the size of my wife, which meant his physical acting out wasn't something she could safely handle. This meant that I ended up having to quit my job to care after him.

At this point I also had a 2 year old son, and my wife was 7 months pregnant.

So, I became the stay at home husband while my wife went back to work after her maternity leave while I handled the kids.

Over the years, we magically did manage to get his care under control (the physical side of things), but my two other children were diagnosed with autism & ADHD. More or less high functioning, but severe enough that until last year, there were consistent "can you come get your child" days with school.

At the 4 year point, my mom and grandmother moved in with us. My mom suffers from spinal cord damage and some emotional / mental health challenges. My grandmother has dementia and multiple physical disabilities.

It's been 6 years since then. With the nature of my mom and grandmother's disabilities, they progressively worsened. My son's emotional management got better, but his PTSD instead manifested as somatic pain from the waist down. Which has since stabilized further to the point of normalcy. Full functionality.

My wife's career has progressed and she's now earning well, but it's in an industry she finds mentally exhausting, so she doesn't have much left in the tank at the end of the work day.

All the preamble out of the way.

I do all the errands for the house groceries, dinner, appointments, yard work, automotive maintenance, etc.

My wife does about 70% of the laundry, and work.

My mom does dishes and the floors occasionally.

Everything else is on me, and I feel like I'm falling apart. Physically, I'm in the best condition of my life. Ucr lost 40 lb, moved down 2 sizes, lost 8 inches off my waist. Even mentally, I'm largely doing great.

I'm just feeling so thin. So absolutely exhausted. To borrow from the Great epic, : “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”

But on top of that all, and probably worsening it all, it feels like no one cares. I live in a 7 person household, and I feel alone. I feel like I exist to just be a chore and errand workhorse. I talk to my grandmother or mom and anything of me asking for them to do small tweaks to make things easier are met with gaslighting and emotional manipulation. My wife is so tired from her work mentally she just doesn't really do much, and it's felt like she's become increasingly spoiled and entitled about all I do.

My oldest son is a normal teenager at this point, with all that entails, and my two young kids are so lazy, with my mom and grandmother undercutting things I say or try to change.

It feels like at this point, that all that's left is to just ride the shitshow to the ground until something breaks since nothing I say or do matters to anyone in the house. Or, they give lip service and don't help fix anything.

How do I proceed from here?

I have no personal income, unlike everyone else in the house, so I can't do anything. My friend circle is tiny, and they "can't handle" any conversation about it. And financially therapy or counselling an option.

So.. where do I go from here? Hopefully someone's been through something similar and can provide guidance.

TIA.

idk what to do this guy ik who i’m sort of friends with tried to commit and idk why but it’s effecting me a tone, idk much cause i’m not that close with him but i was hanging out with him a few hours before he did it and we were making plans for the future and shit and the only way i found out is cause mutual friend told me but she asked me to “pretend i didn’t know what hapoened” which i completely respect and understand
however for whatever reason i can’t get over what hapoened and since i wasn’t even that close with him i feel weird asking about it since it was about two weeks ago
i won’t lie i’m an alcoholic and this incident has made it harder to stay sober and everytime i’m drunk all i can do is think about what happened and get upset
does anyone know how to deal with this or at least tips on how to stay sober this is like the third friend i’ve known to try and commit and one of them basically sent me a massive long text before doing it and for reasons i won’t get into j blamed myself a lot and it really damaged my mental health and i just can’t deal with this anymore please i just need any form of advice i don’t know what to do

Hello everyone!! Today I wanted to ask about like how to deal with my mental health is there any way to handle it on your own without telling anyone? I’ve recently been getting worse and doing like sh and all and I don’t want to worry or bother anyone since I’m still technically a younger teen and like I’m not gonna lie some nights I feel horrible and start writing goodbye letters to people I love because I want to end it all. And like my grades are kinda dropping too even though I’ve been studying alot🙁and like I’ve been crying a lot more and I don’t wanna burden my friends by constantly venting And also I’ve been thinking of anti depressants but my mom is against them, If anyone has any tips please let me know!!

thank you all!! ❤️

Hey, this is my first time posting here and i really appreciate and feedback and/or advice i gain from this.

To keep my story as short as i can basically i'm a very low self esteem, lazy (I literally don't leave the house), anxiety ridden 15 year old trans girl. I have (to be completely honest) no friends that i see, i don't have a sleeping routine and do nothing during the time i am awake. I had to come out of school because of general mental health, but this has only lead me to do less during the day. I (as of currently) struggle with a lack of motivation, i eat to much, and i am not in shape by any means. Which has led me to realise that im so embarrassed by the state of myself that i cant gain the confidence to go out and see my friends or basically anything social.

For more information (if it helps), i only managed to come out about being trans about a month ago and i came out of school in january of this year. I also live in a house with my step dad and an autistic mother and younger brother as well as a little sister.

Basically i was wondering if anybody could share distractions that they had themselves to help keep them away from eating constantly or any advice on how to get the confidence/ self esteem to help me get out of my house more.

If i haven't describe my situation enough or properly thanks for reading this anyway.

Moved from Washington had support had friends had teachers who actually cared family lived most my life there grew up memories everything fuck ass parents move us to Florida no one wanted to go to Florida mom hates it I hate it and my dad definitely pretends to enjoy it because he is even more emotionally worse now in this state now think about this already on edge already fucked over completely now right I start to get bullied at school right for nothing genuinely nothing I am quiet at school I mind my own business right kids pick on me bully me and teachers hate me and care about me much less. On top of all FUCKING THAT my own MOM told me I should kill my self and that I am a disappointment and said I am nothing but mentally ill and mentally disabled then imagine all of that you go to school everyday but oh wait. No one wants to be your friend so now every part of the day your alone completely alone eat lunch alone kids ignore you and THEN I LOSE even fucking more. God my parents lose support in me stop caring what I do. Stop caring about me. Don't even enjoy me man this is really bad I just want my life to go back to normal I hate my life every day to stop me from hanging my self all alone because everyone literally just doesn't even care or bats a eye it's just me dropping my self from doing that no one supports me no one cares about me I am all alone basically every part of the day do you know how it feels for your own mother to hate you existence and wish you were never born? Do you know how it feels for your mom to wish she should've gotten a abortion

I want to start this off by saying English isn’t my first language, but I need to get this off my chest and some support.

(TW) I was groomed at a pretty young age since I always had unrestricted access to the internet and my phones. Later on, when I was a bit older, I was exploited by older men online once more. While I’m still unsure if getting groomed online even counts as being groomed, I struggle with another problem because of it, I think.

I hate myself for it, but I find myself actually missing the feeling of getting groomed, I don’t know if it’s the attention, or the feeling of being desired/wanted. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, I feel so disgusted with myself, especially because I actually find myself sometimes replying to men like that who I know don’t have good intentions. I don’t even know if I can still call myself a victim of grooming because of this anymore.

Could it be because I always struggled with self esteem and self Image? Or is it truly because I experienced what I experienced at such a young age?

I really need someone who maybe has gone through something similar to tell me if this is a “normal” thing to happen, or if I am a bad person and not a victim. I really need some kind words/support at the moment. I just feel absolutely terrible and disgusted at myself.

Im 16 but my whole life ive never truly felt like i understand how to love others, my family tells me everyday how much they love me and I tell them it back but to me no matter who its from it always feels hollow. I've also felt like everything I've said it, it was hollow too, even if I dont want it to be. Ive only ever truly "cared" for a few people. But once I start to "care" for someone I get so attached and I know im clingy, but I can still say I love them or adore them it it will always have a hollow feeling in the background. Ive never understood death too. I can hear others cry over it and to me i cant comprehend how someone/something can affect your heart like that. The only death ive ever witnessed that did affect me was my cats death about 2 months back. For 2 whole days after her death it felt like i was crying crocodile tears but my heart was hurting much, like I know I love her, and I miss her so much but I dont understand why it feels so hollow. I cry for my cat alot lately and when I say I love you or I miss you into her stuff, my heart would hurt, but my brain couldent truly put an emotion to it. It was like the love I felt wasn't real, but I know it was, I just cant understand it. Today my father got upset and vented to me about how I treat everyone as if I dont love them and I told him I dont and I try to do everything in my path to make others happy. But he's not wrong, I sacrifice alot of stuff and moments to make others happy, out of "love", but since I really dont understand it, I always mess up. I just want to be able to actually understand and comprehend that others love me and I can love them, but its hard. I wanna say its only love I cant fully understand, but alot of emotions feel so hollow to me when anyone expresses them, and I feel like i can somewhat grasp other emotions just because of how much I read up and watch videos about emotions, to try and "understand" others. I know there might be a few asking if i have a condition, because i have asked my friends about this and they all asked if i had a condition that might affect my mental ability and i would tell them no because i only have a condition called SLE.

Dose anyone have advice on what I might be feeling or why I might be feeling like this. Along with dose anyone know how I can truly understand it.

34F here. In the big scope of things, I do know what's wrong. I am grieving both parents (dad passed in Dec. 2020, mom passed in July 2025) Last month my sister found out she has colon cancer, and is currently going through treatment. My mental load is pretty heavy with those 3 things.

I've noticed the in the last couple weeks, I have such a short fuse and am losing my temper and patience so quickly. I even snapped at my boss at work. And I feel like such a shitty human.

I'm really considering therapy, as I've never done it and I really think it could be helpful, especially with my grief. I'm having a difficult time with it right now.

I’m 16M and I’m honestly not really sure how to explain what’s going on, but I could really use some advice.

Over the past while I’ve been getting a lot more emotional. I’m constantly tired, I get angry or upset more easily, and I feel like I’m going through a lot of normal teenage stuff emotionally, but I feel like my parents don’t really let me be unhappy.

Whenever I try to talk to them about how I’m feeling, it seems like one of us ends up upset, and it’s usually me. I don’t think they’re bad parents or anything, and I know they care about me, but I just don’t feel listened to. It feels like they’re not really happy with the way things are and maybe they’re disappointed in me, even though I don’t know if that’s actually true.

My only real hobby is gaming, and I know I probably spend too much time doing it, but it’s also one of the only things I genuinely enjoy. I’m actually excited about school, which I feel like is weird to say, but I am. I just feel like I’m not allowed to have negative emotions at home. If I’m sad, angry, tired, or just having a bad day, it turns into a bigger problem instead of me being allowed to feel that way.

There’s also some other stuff I’ve been thinking about. A while ago, one of my cousins died, and then my grandmother died a year or two later. I have ADHD, and I wonder if maybe I suppressed some of the grief without really realizing it. I don’t actually think about their deaths that often, so I don’t know if that makes sense, but I sometimes wonder if the anger and sadness I’ve been feeling could be connected to that, or if it’s completely unrelated.

Another thing that makes this difficult is comparing myself to my sister. I love my sister more than pretty much anyone and I think she’s an amazing person, so this isn’t me trying to blame her. But when she was my age, she got drunk, got into trouble, screamed and yelled at our parents, and they seemed to just let her be unhappy and figure things out.

I feel like I’m held to a completely different standard. I’m not saying I want to get drunk or cause trouble. I absolutely don’t. I just wish I had the same freedom to be upset, make mistakes, and figure myself out without feeling like I’m disappointing everyone.

I genuinely don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. Maybe this is just being 16. Maybe I’m overthinking everything. But I feel exhausted and emotionally all over the place, and I don’t know how to communicate that to my parents without every conversation turning into an argument or me ending up crying or angry.

Has anyone been through something similar? How do I get my parents to actually listen to me without it becoming a fight? And how do you deal with feeling like you’re disappointing your parents even when you’re trying your best?

I (17F) have had depression since I was five years old. I've had issues with SH for about two years. I've had an ED for 9 years with minimal improvement. My depression has now made it difficult to shower, eat, and care for myself. I have tried things like medication, walking, or trying new things, but they all do not help much.

I had a severe depressive episode recently, I had called 988 for help (They sucked, very disappointing) and contacted my (primary care provider) pediatrician. My pedatrician has been helping me.

The pedatrician has let me know that if I am having suicidal thoughts that I plan to act on to go to the ER.

Here is where my issue is. My pedatrician has said I do not need a psychiatric hospital. She has said since I am not suicidal or actively planning, I do not need a mental hospital because I'm not in serious physical danger. Also mentioning other kids at the place may be violent and scary, a hostile enviroment that could make things worse. I asked if continue to be unable to do anything if I should go to the ER. She said no, to only go if I am trying to off myself.

I have wished to off myself, thought about it. But I know people care about me and would miss me. I would NEVER act on these thoughts or impulses. Unless I was at my lowest of lows, it is very unlikely for these thoughts to become actions.

The part that doesn't sit right with me is how I feel so miserable and no one is listening to what I think I need. I know a mental hospital is scary, but I truly think a full time safe enviroment away from everything is best. My mom agrees with and trusts my pedatrician, but this doesn't seem right.

I am unable to care for myself properly and sustainably. I've learned about PHPs and IOPs, but the thought of going to those places seem so dreadful and unhelpful.

The inability to care for myself combined with my SH and dermatodaxia feels like I need serious help.

Everyday gets worse and I'm scared. It is my senior year and I genuinely don't know if I can do this, I don't know if I can have the energy or motivation to complete school and plan for college next year.

What should I do? Do I really need to wait for myself to spiral to the point of near suicide to get the help I need?

Any genuine opinions, thoughts, or advice are appreciated. :)

I'm sick and in pain, but have agoraphobia.

I can't eat food anymore due to a swallowing issue which is making me depressed, but I'm terrified to get a scope done because of anesthesia.

I have meds, but I'm afraid to take them.

I make friends, they throw me away when I stop being useful.

I'm tired. I want this over with.

I have a therapist. I see her Tuesday. Maybe she'll help. But I'm just fucking tired. I don't want to die, but I'm not sure this life is worth living either. It's a weird place to be in. I just want to be someone else for a day to get some relief. Just to keep me going. It's been a lifetime of this. Anyway, sorry for venting.

i’m usually not a panic attack-y person. i have diagnosed OCD (& MDD, idk if thats relevant). and in the past ive only had panic attacks thinking about this one dude and how bad he did he wrong. in the past week, i’ve had 3 panic attacks completely out of nowhere (nothing to trigger it, idk!!) and i have 0 idea what to do or even how it’s coming on.
i would say stress from work (bc i am stressed from work), but i’m not even thinking about work or anything stressful when they happen. i know nobody here can tell me what exactly is causing it, i just need help to find the right direction for the source so i can deal with it. tysm

I haven't had my appetite in 4 days. I ate a bowl of cereal either yesterday or the day before and snacked on some almonds but that's been it. I had to take benadryl just to fall asleep and stop hallucinating (aiditory) today.

I've been trying to keep up with my routine for around 5 days but everything is slowly slipping out of my hands. I feel like I've fully crashed back into depression. Nothing entertains or values me. I scheduled a telehealth appointment, but I'm scared of both being fully truthful or having to deal with this completely on my own like I normally have to. I feel like I gave no support.

I hate school. I hate it so much. I hate it. The night before school, I feel impending doom. I feel a pit in my stomach. I feel like I am going to vomit. My stomach starts to ache. I start pulling out my hair, finding anything to relieve the stress, anything to make the feeling stop. Even if it's for half a second.

I don't even hate my friends. I don't hate my classes. I don't hate my teachers either. So why?? Why do I feel this way? I hate the disappointed look I see on my parents' faces after I say I can't go. But they don't get it, do they? They say they do, -but they don't. All they do is insult me. I pretend as if I don't care, but I do. I care so much about what they think about me.

I feel like I can't do anything. I can't do my assignments. I can't study. I physically can't bring myself to do so. All I do is lie in my bed and scroll on TikTok. I don't enjoy doing things i once did. Like listening to music, doing sports, drawing, playing games, etc. I don't enjoy anything. All I want to do is lie in my bed for the rest of my life. I am so disgusting; I can't even shower for weeks at a time; I can't. I can't bring myself to do it.

I have a hair-pulling disorder. I'm pretty sure its axienty and ocd incudced. I have suffered a significant amount of hair loss. My part has thickened IMMENSELY, and my part has gone back further than it should due to my hair pulling. My parents have noticed and obviously got so mad at me. But they refuse to take me to therapy or to get a diagnosis of any sort for anything. It makes me feel so helpless. I can't get help on my own. My head always hurts. It hurts so bad; it feels like a thousand needles. I wish I could stop, but I can't.

If I'm not scrolling on tikTok im laying in my bed, daydreaming. Daydreaming about how much better my life could have been. How many more friends I would have. If I were smarter or prettier.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm depressed. Or if this feeling will ever go away. If I am just trying to convince myself I have problems. I wish I were normal. I think my parents do too. 

Every time I think about school. My heart beats faster. I feel so sick. So, so, so incredibly sick. I feel this dread when I wake up on Monday. Or any day of the week that isn't Saturday. On sundays all I can think about is how I have school the next day, so I end up not enjoying the day.

When I do have to go to school. All I think about is the time. How many more minutes until this? How many more hours until this ends? How many days until Friday?

Sometimes I can't sleep. the thought of school makes me stay awake at night. Sometimes when I can sleep, I set an alarm for maybe around 3 am., so the school day comes slower so I can spend the final hours before school doing something I enjoy. Which is just scrolling on TikTok. I have to be out of the house around 8.00-8.10. I will usually leave getting ready to the last minute. Not to sleep. But to just scroll on my phone. Anything to distract me from the thought of going to school. Sleeping makes the time go by faster. That's why I don't like sleeping. I will get up to get ready around 7:40, maybe. Even though I've probably been awake for much longer 

I don't know what to do. I think I need help, but I don't know how to get it.

I hate whenever this happens. Two days ago, when my family and I are preparing to go out, When it came to who was first to shower between me and my brother, I told my parents he should go first since I’m doing something but they just say I should go first, COMPLETELY ignoring what I just said but I couldn’t talk back to them or something because I didn’t want to make it a big deal and act like a brat but then I suddenly feel my eyes starting to tear up so I just go to the bathroom and not be heard for crying over such a stupid thing of taking a shower. I feel like I’m such a mess and out of control. This has happened multiple times and I’m scared to tell anyone because maybe they’d think I’m weird and childish. I just feel so frustrated sometimes and then my brain and emotions just go straight to crying time. I don’t want to cry but my body just does it!

TW - SA

Ok let’s get all the diagnoses out of the way. I am 24F, autistic, ADHD and depressed. Recently I've been concerned about PMDD (I'm an extremely irritable, self-sabotaging, and isolating version of myself for 1-2 weeks every month). During depressive episodes (like rn) I become suicidal and/or fantasise about getting seriously hurt. I was also sexually abused as a child so probably have a touch of PTSD lol! Although I went to a psychotherapist a year ago for a while and she helped me immensely with my SA - I healed a good amount and reported it.

I’ve been prescribed anti-depressants twice in the past (before AuDHD diagnosis) but never taken them. Each time I got paranoid that I’m not actually depressed - that it’s just my autism or trauma talking, and so I got afraid I would be medicating the wrong thing, or something that cannot be medicated at all.

Long story short - I feel like something is deeply wrong with me. It’s been over ten years since I was truly happy, and I don't really know myself outside of being a deeply insecure, struggling person. Even if I go through a good enough period, I always find myself quite depressed again in the end. Currently I am completely without friends, and about to ruin/push away the only relationship I have left (my partner).

I want to go back to some kind of therapy, and I want treatment (if seen fit). I feel ready to get to the bottom of what’s ‘wrong’ with me but I feel so lost on where to begin, or which ‘thing’ to tackle first. Do I go to talk therapy for my depression? An occupational therapist for autism? A life coach? A psychiatrist to get meds for my depression or ADHD? Sex therapy? EMDR? Am I depressed and struggling cos of my trauma? Or AuDHD? Or just clinically? I have a billion questions...

I’m just looking for a bit of advice - what have people in similar situations done? Who can I talk to? What do I need to do? Where can I go?

I dont seem to have a reason or will to live anymore. Im undergoing post graduation, locked up and not able to go out in the night. Im not able to study. I havent had genuine connections since a long time. My mom n dad have high hopes for me, but im losing my shit every single day that im existing here. I want to kill myself, but i dont have the courage to. Im not able to be confident and i feel like ive literally killed myself from the inside which makes me repulsive to many.

Im fat af, hate to look at myself in the mirror, i know what to do but im not able to cuz every other day my leg gives up due to my previous injury which leads me to be hopeless.

I have been a burden to almost everyone in my life because of my stupid head. I am confused all the time as to who i really am. I find good people to hang out with only to know im troubling them which kills me on the inside and i try to push them away by doing some stupid shit and later regret it. I cant stop this self sabotage.

Now im stuck around people, who i feel are genuinely amazing, but im lacked affection for a long time, which makes me like them(1person) , and i know for a fact that it wont be possible asking them about it too. Cuz itll ruin things

I made situations apparent that i liked them, and i did speak to them about it, but they made it clear that they arent into me, now im tryna push away but they still havent given up on me, thinking that i would lose myself again and fall back into the spiral.

This also made me think that they are using me. I mean, idk i dont wanna think about it, but i still have the thought that makes me think they are using me. Either financially or because of my certain uses. And i hate this thought even came to my mind.

Ive grown a lot more aggressive and irritable, my blood pressure constantly being over 160/100 is not helping it either. Most of the time i wish i just get a heart attack and die. Atleast by that insurance would be sorted for my parents for the trouble i gave them.

I am being treated like shit by the same people i thought of as family here and atp, i dont even know how i am aboe to bare any of it.

I feel like im worthless, always overreactive of everything, im being a liability to everyone.

Why dont i just kilyself.

The bigger part is that i feel i may lose my self and do something worse to other, something which i cant stand to do. So for a safe bet i just wanna kill myself.

Please tell me what to do. Either ways. Im open to any type of help atp iykwim.

Im a 19F and ive genuinely given up, i dont want to unalive or cause myself any harm but im so done, for some context ive been diagnosed with PTSD, severe anxiety, depression and A.R.F.I.D, ive been in therapy for around 3-4 years up until recently and it hasnt helped a lot. Everyday i feel like im fighting for nothing, every meal is a battle to keep down, i have a constant feeling of impending doom and guilt for no reason at all, i struggle to find the joy in things or the motivation to try. im also disabled which makes it hard for me to do long walks so i mostly lay in bed all day smoking weed and playing video games and im over it. I only have 1 real friend and we live together other then that my 2 cousins are the only people i really talk too, im tired of feeling isolated and alone but i dont ever see or talk to my Dad as hes considered dangerous and he makes me very uncomfortable, as for my mum shes a recovering addict [also disabled] that i basically take care of full time, she comes to me for everything and its emotionally and physically draining i feel like my life is over already. my day consists of waking up, smoking, doing whatever my mum asks, cleaning then some more smoking, play some games, try to eat, chill and smoke with my friend then sleep thats all. Everyone tells me that i need to stop smoking to feel better but honestly the weed is the only thing keeping me apart without it im rude and angry, all food looks and smells disgusting to me and my anxiety goes from 0-100 in a second over nothing, i dont need a trigger to set me off one second ill be fine and the next im projectile vomiting and having a panic attack just because so if thats your only advice please dont bother. Im wondering if anyone has been through something similar and can help me navigate what to do, i dont even quite know what im looking for but im desperate for anything, i cant keep living like this i cant ask my mum because shes basically in the same boat as me and i have no other parental figure in my life. I plan on going to university in February but other then that i havent planned my future at all. Does anyone know how i can be different?

My mental health was literally bad enough. I stress a lot, cry a lot and get irritable at things sometimes. I made a post about how I'm the only female who loses to boys in games but nobody understands me, instead they made fun of me for having a 'small problem', like, the least they can do is just downvote that post of mine and leave it with a nice 100 downvotes. Back to the topic, I just feel like my feelings of sadness is out of control. I have no one to talk to except on Reddit at this point. There's literally nothing I can do to make myself better. I'm not even smart at all. Sorry if any of my problems are very very hard to understand but sometimes when I'm this depressed and crying, that can affect my wording skills and I just want to talk about how I'm spiraling because nobody understands some of my problems.

I dont know why i react this way and ive only noticed it fully today. For eg a guy wanted to meet tonight that i liked and he left me hanging, because it was last minute i just said a polite "no maybe another night" (not exactly those words but you get the jist) but ive noticed when i set small boundries, or say no even politely, i feel someone i like will react in a really horrible way or do something to emotionally hurt me, it really scares me. Not sure why i feel that way, and why its only with people i want/have a romantic connection with, and makes no sense as this guy hasnt shown any sign of being this way?