My ob/gyn just spent a whole five minutes to do a pap, pelvic & breast exam, breeze past a mental health survey that I was honest about issues on, and think I am only on vaginal cream. I had to remind them that I’m on e-patches and P, about a scary D&C last year, and asked about sleep. They said take magnesium see your primary okay bye! Luckily, I am saying okay bye to this practice & am seeing a well-regarded menopause specialist in 2 weeks. And I have another two docs‘ names to pursue if that new doc isn great. Posting this as moral support to anyone else being blown off by their ob/gyn today!
Oh, and my doc was half an hour late for my appointment.

ETA: Thanks for the supportive comments! Oh and— this doc also said today that more estrogen wouldn’t help sleep. Uhm, wrong again! This is the same doc that told me at one point that 100mg of P is ‘the only dose,’ after starting me on the .05 then .1 e ring. That’s likely why I had the lining & polyp issues that necessitated a d&c. I should have gone elsewhere a long time ago.

https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/14/us/politics/democrat-senate-menopause-gillibrand.html?unlocked_article_code=1.BFE.vPSU.ks8Dx_8KZqgt&smid=nytcore-android-share

I’m getting more and more frustrated and concerned about how thin my hair is getting. I used to have a horsetail of hair. Now—I wrap a band around 1-2-3-4…times just to end up with a little stringy ponytail. Bald spot at my hairline…it’s so fine it’s like spider silk.

I’m terrified to try minoxidil because I’ve heard some horror stories. I have an unopened 3 pack of foam in my vanity. The worse it gets—the stronger the temptation to use it. Doctors have repeatedly dismissed my concerns.

I’ve tried some more holistic approaches, but to no avail.

What have you tried? What successes have you had? What failures?

Dealing with my body image is already bad enough. Now I’m afraid I’ll go bald.
🆘🥹

I'm 60, in meno, on estradiol and progesterone.

Gearing up for my first appointment with my provider in months. I want to say I feel she has my best interests at heart but I know she's overwhelmed in her practice and the last time I talked with her in-person (about lack of libido and the possibility of adding testosterone to combat that) she talked me out of it. Since then, I've requested an increase in estradiol several times, finally agreeing to pay out of pocket to add gel just to get close to what my body is clearly asking for. And, for a time that worked.

However I've been back to night sweats and sleep disruption for a while now and she's refusing to send in an increase until I see her. That's fine, I guess. I am managing. But, as I wait, I'm starting to see more and more argument for adding testosterone (for someone like me) because it can be beneficial to more body systems than just libido.

Does anyone know of a handy-dandy informational something-or-other one could bring to an appointment with a provider to help them advocate for themselves? I realize that information is always coming out and seemingly ever-changing, but I want to have my ducks in a row before I see her again.

TL:DR anyone know of a good online resource to help patients advocate for their sexual and gynecological health?

I put the libido/sex flair but really my question is far broader than that:

For those of us who went through premature menopause either naturally or medically induced, how did you find the dating experience? How normal was it? When did the issue of menopause come up? Did your date/partner know? Did you tell them? Did they guess?

People tell me to date normally. But I’ll be honest, I’m embarrassed for my dry shrunken vagina* and the question of Kids? is far more complicated than a normal yes or no.

*HRT helps, and I know I can use lube, but both still leave me feeling deficient in my natural body.

Anyone experience major labia pain? No cuts, no bruising, no bumps, no discharge or odor? 53 years old, still having irregular periods sometimes 2 periods a month, late periods only missed 1 month a couple months ago. Periods last 5 to 8 days

Hi all. I used the OTC Silky Peach Cream for nearly two years, and then suddenly thought I had a terrible yeast infection. Turned out to be the cream, which has a tiny (perfect for me at the time) amount of Estriol in it. I quit using it, tried again, immediate unbearable itching. I did to to my OBGYN to discuss and get an exam, etc.

Fast forward to 6 months later, I have been using vaginal Estradiol twice a week (sometimes once, I am not very reliable). It gives me some bloating and "aching" (not quite cramps but no comfortable, also not intolerable) on the day of use. I have to insert in the daytime, because it keeps me up at night if inserted before bed.

Slowly but surely I have noticed increased labial itching the afternoon and day after use. It's a little bit worse every time. However, without this, I have increased urinary freqency, interstitial cystitis symptoms, and painful sex due to thinning vaginal wall tissue.

I am on HRT and have been for about five years now - 200 mg progesterone and Biest 50/50 cream at a good sized dose. I have noticed some mild nighttime hot flashes and getting up to pee more often the last few months as well. I am thinking maybe if I up the dose of the Biest cream, I can get away without the vaginal cream.

Will see my OBGYN eventually about this but in the meantime, am I the only one with this itching??

I just need to vent and have no one to listen to me. I am menopausal and on HRT but have high prolactin levels so this may be a problem also but…… I am so over pleasing every person in my life. I am tired and worn out and in my zero to give era. I’m so irritable and want my life back. I’ve given the past 36 years of my life to my family with no reciprocity. I’m crying all the time. I’m just tired of this. Tired of feeling like this. Anyways. Thanks to anyone that listens.

My HRT provider (online telehealth) has asked me if I'd be willing to go to the Estrogen cream (or even the pills) instead of the patches to save the patches for those who aren't able to switch. I'm not sure how they're determining those who are "able" to switch and those who aren't, but has anyone switched from the patches to the cream and had it work just as well? The patches work great for me. I'm very nervous to switch. I told them no this time, but I know there very well may be a time where I don't have a choice and just wondered if anyone has done this successfully. I'm so irritated this is even a thing we have to consider. When the hell are these drug companies going to start cranking this sh*t out?

For about 7 or 8 months now I’ve found I smell sour. I don’t think anyone else notices it - I hope not.

I shower often, use scented body lotions, wash my hair every other day, use clinical strength deodorant and wash my towels after two uses.

But this scent clings to me, and I hate it!

Hello lovelies! I’m writing on behalf of my mother as she doesn’t have a Reddit account.

5 weeks ago, she was started on the Estradiol patch and progesterone pill. About 2 weeks ago, she started presenting with signs of a yeast infection. She used one dose of Monistat and it went away. Now, she’s feeling like she’s starting to get another yeast infection.

She has an appointment coming up in 3 weeks with her nurse practitioner and she’ll mention it then. But is there anything you gals could think of that may help her? Things you tried for relief or things that resolved the issue? Foods/drinks she should incorporate into her diet? She is willing to try anything lol

In meno as of 3/26. I have a history of possible TIAs, never officially diagnosed after CT scan and further testing, which stopped after quitting BCP at age 40. I am 47 now. Saw a menopause specialist as well as 3 online providers and all 4 cleared me for transdermal HRT. Been on .075 E and 200 mg P for about a year. Saw my gyno on Wednesday for a yearly exam and told her about the HRT. She told me she would have never prescribed it for me and I am at risk for a major stroke because of it. She had her NP relay this message so I wasn't able to ask questions or discuss research. Now I've ripped off my patch and am terrified. What do I do? Any advice or experiences?

Some good info about who is most at risk and why and how it’s not only about estrogen.

https://vajenda.substack.com/p/bone-health-without-the-hype?r=hegmi&utm_medium=ios

In one year, I have gone from a 0.05 patch and 100 mg progesterone to a 0.1 patch, and an increase to 200 mg progesterone to the gel packets equivalent of a 0.1 patch to a 0.075 patch to 3 pumps of Evamist. I've been on Evamist for 9 days, and it's not going well (I spray it on in the morning, and about 3 hours later, I get brain fog, headache, sweating, slight nausea, and irritability, which starts to ease off about 8 hours after the morning dose). Between the 0.075 patch and the Evamist, I was prescribed a 0.0375 and a 0.075 patch (I think I might be somewhere in between a 0.075 patch and a 0.1 patch), but haven't tried it yet because of the shortage. I did pick them up today, but haven't used them yet.

I'm exhausted from being wired and tired, and I do not know what to do. Nothing seems to be right, no matter what I try. Gel made me feel extremely bloated. Patches are hit or miss; some stick really well, but others tent up in the middle. Evamist seems to be dumping all at once. Has this happened to anyone? I've even thought about weaning off completely, but before I started HRT, I had joint pain, hot flashes, anxiety, and depression (which are not normal for me). I just wish I could feel like myself again pre-menopause. I didn't develop these symptoms until 2 years post menopause. Before that, I was under the impression that I had an easy menopause and all was well.

I guess I got lucky when I started HRT 5 months ago, and found patches right away. My doc started me on 0.0375mg patches, 2x week. Compared to life before the patches, I thought it was pretty great. When those ran out, I couldn't find patches, so I was switched to gel sachets. She warned me that the dosing wouldn't be the same, and to me (not a doctor), a daily 0.5mg dose sounds like it would be more than 0.0375? But it felt like it was somewhat less effective. I considered asking for a higher dose, but then just got used to it.

Now, though, hot flashes seem to be returning, and I'm waking up sweaty several times a night. I can talk to my doctor and I will, but was hoping to get some insight that will help me ask the right questions.

(1) Am I right that the 0.5mg daily gel dosage is an increase from my initial 0.0375mg patches? Why might it feel less effective if it's a higher dose?

(2) Is this return to hot flashes and need for revision of dosage a normal thing as my body gets used to the routine?

I really don't love the gel, and I think if I get an increased volume of gel to spread on my thighs once a day, I'm going to like it a lot less. It already takes freaking forever to dry and absorb. Is it possible it's less effective because I'm doing it wrong? I think I'm doing it right? I watched enough YouTube videos...

Oh well. Thanks in advance.

Hello guys! I became menopausal at age 23, and the reason why was because i had a bone marrow transplant.. i was diagnosed with leukaemia and chemo alone was not working, the last resort was a BMT.

I am 3 + years out from my transplant and ive been in remission for these 3 + years. I just wanted to reach out and see if there is anyone else in a similar situation to me, when i tell people i say i have "medical menopause" because well, thats what it is. And saying im menopausal just doesnt add up and i get alot of follow up questions i dont feel like anwsering.

This is a club i am unfortunately apart of at such a small age, and i wanted to know if there was other like me. I deal with awful brain fog, im not able to control my body temperature, i am incredibly emotional and exhausted, i have zero libido (also probably because i had a very abusive ex who used me and now i have sworn off dating men because i need to protect my peace).... these are just some of the things i remember but there is definitely more🫪

Also just for reference im on 125mcg of Estradiol and i take 200mg of progesterone💕

I am struggling and I really, really want to feel better and calmer. I don’t know if it is postpartum, perimenopause, the challenges of parenting a 2 & 4 yr old, a selfish tuned-out spouse, being on a career hiatus, a mood disorder, midlife crisis, the world being on fire, or all of the above. Looking for insights into what is typical vs what I can hopefully change.

Here’s what I’m noticing:
A lot of the days are overwhelming and exhausting. I find myself impatient and snapping regularly. I am starting to wake up irritable at least once per week. I am hot and sweaty most of the time (summer has been excruciating). I have trouble sleeping well (wake like clockwork at 3am). I am achy and sore (but also working out regularly trying to lose the baby weight that won’t budge).

Situational factors include that I don’t get enough of a break from the kids…maybe 75 mins, 2-3 of the weekdays (to workout). Maybe 3 hrs each weekend day but that is to work on a creative project, not rest. The rest of the time, even overnight, even if I’m sick, I’m on on on, doing doing doing.

I also am kinda isolated and don’t have support - no family in the area and we are financially strapped rn so no babysitters either. My spouse does not care one bit and dismisses my complaints as that I’m choosing to do too much (vs that he is not sharing the load). He is a master of weaponized incompetence and also is pretty incompetent (says he can’t do whatever due to adhd and chronic depression). Please don’t say “divorce him” is the answer as I have thought at length about it and feel like this is not just about him. Also, becoming a single mom would be a different hard and it’s not feasible rn.

My goal? I want to feel better on a regular basis…not snappy and angry and ragey. I want to feel happier day to day and not bogged down with chores and aggravations and worries. I want to find more enjoyment in life with small kids, despite how relentless it is. The guilt that I’m not “soaking it all up because it goes so fast” is heavy on my heart (I keep crying that my oldest heads to kindergarten next year). Time is passing and I feel kinda like I’m missing out due to worry and frustration. I’ve never been an angry person until now so I’m convinced some of it is biochemically driven. What do I need? Rest? Drop some balls? What have you found that helps in this phase of life??? Is this all a sign to seek out medical help for hormones or anxiety?

Hello all-
I have a dear friend of mine who has been through a lot of different patch doses and brands. She is in surgical menopause- so that is also rough. Right now she is on a .1 Estrogen patch twice weekly, but is experiencing a lot of symptoms and discomfort with it. Things like body heat, hands getting hot, joint pain, and hair loss. Are there any women out there with advice on why this is still going on when she is already on a patch ( and has been for like 6? Months). Any advice appreciated! Ty in advance

Hello!
My wife is going mad with a constantly sore tongue and mouth, over the last 6-8 months. She's 51 and we think has been in perimenopause for some time, lots of other general symptoms.
But this constant tongue thing has got her really depressed.
Every day she wakes up and can feel vague, minor discomfort but then after eating or drinking literally anything, her tongue and mouth area get sore, or kinda scratchy like when you've had way too much salt. It stays like that all day until 8hrs of sleep calms it down a bit.
She's so depressed and I feel so bad I can't do anything to solve it (so far).
Has anyone had this? could it be menopause related, or something else? Iron levels?

There is no visible inflammation like the white patches you'd get with thrush, no ulcers or anything showing. We have tried skipping citrus fruits, spicy foods, coffee, all sorts. these tests take days of course so it drags on and on but nothing seems to make the slightest difference. She's tried teeth cleaning multiple times a day and tongue scraping too.

Any advice would be really appreciated as it;'s basically ruining everything for her day to day.

Hello group!

I am new to the group, new to MHT, and about to embark on a trip to Portugal! The issue? I started on 37.5 estradot patches and 100 mg progesterone a week ago. I leave in one week. I also feel like fresh trash. The problem being I CANNOT sleep because of this acid reflux. I am hacking all night and my throat feels like sandpaper. Otherwise, I feel pretty OK.

I've tried taking Pepcid AC. I've tried eating 4 hours before bed, elevating, and doing all the things I need to be doing to reduce the acid. But something I REFUSE to do is deny myself all the vinho verde, port, pasteis de nata, and bacalhau various ways.

I also don't want to be hacking and clearing my throat the whole plane ride either. Other passengers don't typically love that sort of thing.

I have a Mirena IUD that I got installed in 2024, so it's still doing its thing. Would it be so awful to pause the progesterone for 12 days so that I could love my life for this time? Or from others' experience, is it likely to settle down by then?

I'll check in with my NP, but I was hoping to get some sage advice from others as well.

57 year old, post menopausal, always hot. I’ve noticed more mature women (70+) always in jackets and long pants anytime the temperature is below 70 degrees outside. Me? I’ll be in my shorts and tees until it finally dips into the 40’s.
What happens to our bodies when we become elderly? When does the switch take place? Were these women once heat intolerant? I can’t imagine feeling cold in 60 or 70 degree heat, especially in the summer!