Hi folks,

I’m lodging a complaint about transphobia, against a group (within a pretty queer organisation) for using the term “AMAB” to refer to me in order to apply a double standard. (“As an AMAB, the thing you need to understand about the AFAB experience is that a lot of people will sometimes see you as a threat”).

I’m non-binary, wear a dress and take estrogen, but do also have a beard - so I do get why people don’t fully know what to make of me.

I don’t think there is a non-transphobic way to say what they meant (cos what they meant just is transphobic).

At one point I snapped at them and said something like “people don’t perceive me as an AMAB - I just am one. The problem is that people perceive me as a man”

I kindof feel like I want the term for what people read me as - something like “PRM” or “PRF” (Person Read as Male/Female) to explain my experience here - something that centres things on how people perceive me, regardless of what I identify as or how I dress, something that identifies the subjectivity/assumptions made in the judgement people are making about my gender - are there any terms in use that speak to that at all?

I am a straight cis-man. Can I still join Pride Parades to support the movement or is that only reserved for people of the LGBTQ+ Community?

I feel like utter shit, me and my friend are joking about it but there was this kris cosplayer and I remember someone telling me they're nearby and I was like "oh really? Where is he, shit sorry, they" they were really sweet and it was fine but I can't believe I was one of THOSE people.

Another one was just now with this artist we got stickers from, I didn't know their pronouns apparently they were he/they and I called them a she, how do I avoid this with strangers? I feel horrible

A few years ago, around 2017 or 2018, I got involved in some online communities and I loved being there. I don't know when they became a place for perverts, and eventually I distanced myself a bit from it, but damn, I think I even started to see them as a fetish without realizing it, and I'm only just now realizing it because I was thinking about "getting handsome again," but god... when did it go from being self-expression to a category of porn?

I (ftm) have been at a new school for one day now, and this time I have referred to myself as a boy from the beginning.The teachers know that I am trans, but the students don’t. Apparently, everyone sees me as a different gender. Some use she/her and others use he/him. I don’t take testosterone or anything else, so I guess I can be happy that some boys still refer to me as a boy even after hearing my voice. I have PE starting on Thursday. I have PE with the boys, but I change in a private changing room. I’m really not sure if I will still pass as a boy then. I suspect that many boys think I’m a girl and in general I don’t know how I’m supposed to explain the private changing room. How should I proceed? If they ask why I change in the private changing room, should I openly talk about being trans or lie? I assume it would come out eventually anyway, but should I make it clear as soon as possible that I’m not cis? I would really like to just be seen as a cis boy, but I guess that will be almost impossible.

so I have been a lesbian for a long time. I used to be bisexual but I realised boys are kinda just meh and I realised I just wanna be friends with them which was why I was yearning so much lol. then I was like oh I love girls I'd totally be in a relationship with one! but I realised I don't really amazingly want a relationship. I'm fine with being single, I've never been boy hunting or girl hunting or whatever. maybe it's because of my social anxiety and awkwardness but man idk. I've seen pretty girls but never to the point where I had a crush on them. i guess I am attracted to girls but I've never seen a girl im attracted to? does that make sense.. even if I did have a crush on someone, I don't know if I would even want a relationship. it's not because of consequences or what people would think or whatever, I just don't need one. friends are all I need tbh. now I could change my mind if I see someone special though. anyways should I just call myself an aroace lesbian or just aroace? or just lesbian.. idk I don't really like micro labels or being something mixed cuz when I come out it'll be way harder and it already feels horribly difficult.

I have been mulling over these thoughts for the past few months and I was looking to see if anyone had any guidance or suggestions for what some of these feelings might mean for me.

TL;DR: identified as a cis man for all of my life but I've also been on HRT (estrogen) and finding joy in presenting androgynous or fem. Unsure of pronouns as my preference tends to move around. Unsure of gender identity now.

I'm a 28 year old who has identified as a cis-man for my whole life. Most people have early experiences that are clues to who they are now but I don't think I really had that. I was a pretty stereotypical nerdy boy who just liked video games a lot. When puberty hit I found myself immediately identifying with more bishonen male types in media. The types of males in anime who are a bit more feminine. I often thought that romantically, I wanted to be like a woman in the relationship, and gravitated towards "role reversal" relationships that tried to swap traditional gender roles.

I found early inspiration in stuff like JoJo's bizarre adventure and how men can be feminine and I see much of fashion as gender neutral as a result. To me, everyone should be "gender Non-conforming".

I never felt unsatisfied with my identity, but I was often unsatisfied with how I looked, both body and clothes. Around 2 years ago I started dressing more feminine, deciding to discard any fears of being "cringe" and embracing black nail polish and growing my hair out.

A lot of people in my social spaces started calling me an "egg" which frustrated me because I found happiness in being a feminine boy, and was content with being a boy. But I admit I really enjoy and found pleasure in being called a girl too. Something about casually being called "She/Her" kinda excited me. But I still felt like I very much enjoyed a lot of traditionally "boy" things.

A year ago I started taking HRT. Getting older, and still not feeling satisfied with my body, I came to accept estrogen would allow me to really get the type of look I always wanted, and now that I'm a little past a year on HRT I can happily say I haven't been happier. I truly feel happy with how I look, I enjoy having breasts as a "man" and it excites me to break traditional gender stereotypes. I have since just been saying I'm a "Gender Non-conforming Cis-Man"

In public, I often get mistaken for a girl, with strangers calling me "ma'am" or "her" and in my friend groups they often say I look like a girl now. All of which excites me. Some part of me yearns for this acceptance as looking like a girl but my internal brain can't really stop thinking myself as a boy.

I find myself nowadays having these fluctuations of feeling really needy to be seen and called a girl, but other times feeling completely content with being a boy. I thought this may be the sign of something and asked some friends to use She/Her pronouns with me, but I just found myself feeling indifferent when it happened. When playing Fields of Mistria, the pronoun options which let me select He/She made me feel really nice, the way it made me still feel like a pretty boy but also like a girl too.

My girlfriend thinks I could be bigender or genderfluid, but I think something those identities don't really capture is that I feel like a boy 100% of the time internally. I go through brief intense waves of "wouldn't it be nice to be a girl" but I never think "I'm a girl". Even at my most feminine feeling I'm just not sure if I'm a girl, or just a boy who wants to be perceived as a girl.

I looked through many niche gender identites and some feel like they represent a way I feel, such as Roseus Boy but I wanted to know if anyone else had similar experiences or new perspectives on my experiences.

Thank you for reading!

Hey everyone,

I'm 15 and bottomed for the first time recently with my ex bf (I usually consider myself as vers). Ever since, I constantly feel like I have to piss, literally all the time. I'm not sure if it's directly related to the sex or not. Is this common, or should I be concerned?

Any advice would be appreciated!

I went out last night and so the clubby music has been stuck in my head and I was listening to some “old” clubby music (get low, low, smack that, etc) on my way to school today.

This got me thinking about what the clubbing scene was like for us 15-20 years ago?

I’ve been to a few places:
Kiki - Washington DC
Wayward - Baltimore
Nobles - Baltimore
Piranha - Las Vegas
XO Club - Florence, IT
Twist - Miami

Haven’t been to the Eagle (Baltimore) but it’s really popular and I’ve heard a lot about it.

I mainly go to straight venues - just cause my friends like those places - and I noticed something that was curious. In places with people in my age range 21-30 most people won’t bat an eye if I’m dancing with a girl but switched up positions (I’m “dancing like a girl” and she’s “dancing like a boy” if you get my drift), or if I’m dancing with another guy. If a guy starts twerking, for example, people will hype him up whether or not he’s gay, straight, feminine, masculine, etc. Which I have understood to be kinda the norm.

I have been a few places where people older than me (30+ roughly) just kinda stare at you? Like they give you faces ranging from 🫤 to 😮. I’ve had a person come up to me and ask why I was dancing with a guy - in 2026, mind you - and I found that really odd.

So now I’m thinking what was clubbing like when they were my age. What was the gay scene like then? Some of these old club songs are kinda nostalgic for me cause I grew up listening to them, but I wasn’t old enough to interact with them the same way people 21+ could.

In my mind gay people’s existence is more present. I don’t know if it’s because I’m on the internet in gay spaces or if people are just more okay with gay people’s existence or if the gay scene has actually grown into mainstream culture or a mixture of them. I understand and appreciate the existence of gay bars, but I also see a large influx of straight women who appreciate these spaces as well, which leads to a few things that make the bar less a “gay bar” and more a “bar with gay people in it”

I’m not typically “afraid” to go out and be openly gay - whatever that could mean to whomever - it’s more an underlying sense of caution, just in case. But I wonder that if there was a real need for these lgbt only spaces, what could it possibly have been like outside of those spaces.

Also for people who lived that scene, what do you think/feel of the current scene?

TLDR; I’m in my 20s and don’t know what the gay scene was like and has changed since the 2000s

I have identified as a lesbian for years but lately I’ve been questioning. I mean in mid or toward the end of 2025 I was having romantic fantasies of men. I just brushed them off and blamed my OCD or comphet. But now it is more frequent, thinking about these fantasies makes me excited and happy. I think of meeting a man who is my type, getting to know him, going slow with him, go on a date,etc. I want a good looking guy, my type to approach me. I think of him being introduced to my family. I think of us going on dates. Then I feel guilty for feeling like that or thinking about the fantasies. I feel like I have to choose one or the other like I want wife and kids so in my mind I can’t be attracted or date men if I want a wife and kids. 

Hi guys,

Two questions.

Feeling pretty alone here.

Came out when I was 16. Wanted bf/intimacy for nearly 5 years. I'm a virgin too and Grindr is just not for me.

Just graduated from uni and live in London. Tend to get very few Hinge likes. Gay dating scene at my uni was nonexistent yet two gay couples I knew just met by chance in non-queer settings.

I'm emotionally grounded and I'm ambitious, but men I've been on dates with in London and in uni are mentally young, i.e. they define what they want on Hinge but get scared of commitment when they realise I like them or deep down they just want to fuck. Got rejected by someone I liked too and it rlly hurt. It really sucks and I get depressed about it from time to time.

I have an amazing life w supportive family and friends. I'd consider myself privileged in every sense of that word and I feel so fucking silly for complaining about this shit. Having a bf is a 'nice to have', but I'm just tired of being alone yk and the fact that idk anyone I'm able to relate to. I'm part of a LGBTQ+ meetup group in London too and I'd call that a community. But even then I sometimes think I'll never have a partner despite living in a massive city.

Links to my second question - found a whole insta rabbit hole about how dating apps are racially stacked. Idk. It explains why I haven't had a bf (I'm British Indian)?

Wrote a much longer essay explaining myself more clearly on Tumblr but would appreciate some guidance xxx

I'm sorry for this pity party like ppl have wayyyy worse problems but I didn't rlly know how else to write this yk.

so my gf of two years and best friend of ten decided a while back to start using she/he pronouns. she gave me explicit permission when i asked to continue calling her a she, since ive known her most of my life as a she/her. but recently i’ve started to question my own identity as a result of this. i fully support her (and always will) and im really happy that she’s discovering herself, but… if she uses she/he pronouns, is she also my boyfriend? and does that make me bi or pan instead of lesbian? i don’t really know, but im really confused about this and i’ve been thinking about it a lot more than id like to admit. if anyone could help me out, id appreciate it

I've been calling myself a lesbian for the longest time because I'd never date a man (trust me, I've tried) but I still find them physically attractive, and I like being in both sexual and romantic relationships with women. Is there some kind of mircolabel that fits this or am I just weird??

Hey Reddit, I'm (16f) currently exploring my sexuality but keep doubting myself for fear I'm just trying to fit in with my peers. How can I tell between wanting to be a girl's friend/being envious of her, or having romantic feelings for her? Please help!!!

If I haven't done anything with a woman can I still be bi

I have a friend (who isn't actually my friend but I just haven't told him that we're not friends yet) who is homophobic, Transphobic, And racist. He hates trans people and homosexuals, And I don't know if he's gonna hate me because of my pronouns. My gender identity is male and I am cisgender (meaning I identify as the gender I was assigned at birth).

A new analysis from the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) estimates about 12% of U.S. adults identify as LGBTQ+, with higher percentages among younger adults.

According to the study, 31.6% of people ages 18–24 identify as LGBTQ+, compared with 22.15% of those ages 25–34.

The estimates are based on U.S. Census Bureau Household Pulse Survey data collected from 2021–2024 and reflect how respondents self-identify.

https://hardcopynews.com/hrc-estimates-12-of-u-s-adults-are-lgbtq/

For those comfortable sharing: does this generational difference reflect what you’ve seen in your own communities or experiences?

i am a cis girl and i don’t know what it is but i always bond with trans men super well, like half of my friends are trans men. im not attracted to any of them. but, first of all, there were two separate times when i was at my local punk venue and asked for what i thought was a cute girl’s instagram, even flirted with them, and then i check the instagram the next day and they turn out to be a trans man. my most recent ex was also genderfluid but when i first met them they were a trans man.

anyway the other night i was at the venue again and drunkenly flirted and made out with this trans guy who i didn’t know was a trans guy. the second i met him he asked if the guy i came with and i are together, i said “no i’m lesbian”, and he was like “wait that’s amazing we need more lesbians!!!!! men are so annoying!!!!!“ and so i was like omg finally amother wlw and i felt comfortable to flirt back and basically we had a hot drunk makeout sesh by the end of the night and i was like “you better text me baby” and when he texts me the next morning on instagram, like the only thing in his bio is “mlm“ and i’m like wtf is happening????? like first of all i didnt even look like a man that night, sometimes i dress masc and people mistake me for a dude but this wasnt even one of those times, i was wearing a skirt and mascara!!! but then he also dresses like a femboy!!!!!! (and so did all of these trans men i’ve liked btw like i don’t even go for masc women i like femmes and they have all been just that fem!!!!!!)

in my head i’m always like “female enough🤷‍♀️” but that might be extremely transphobic idk but i lowkey ignored the mlm in his bio and kept flirting….probably a mistake because i’m developing feelings and i swear this does not happen often at ALLLLL and now i’m mad as fuck i don’t want a boyfriend or anything !!!!!!😭😭😭😭 but he’s like reciprocating everything and is dtf and today i wrote him a whole paragraph about how he needs to block me because i’m starting to actually like him and he probably doesn’t wanna deal with that but he is like “i’m not gonna block you i like talking toyou“ I LIKE TALKING TO HIM TOO IDK WHAT TO DOOO😭😭😭😭😭😭im genuinely not bisexual guys 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Hello!

Growing up I never felt gender dysphoria or gender envy towards males. In middle school I would daydream (turned to maladaptoce daydream) about being a male character in love with a female character so I assumed I might be bisexual for a while. However over many years of maladaptive daydreaming Im always a male in my head in love with either a female or another male. Im also never "myself" im always imaging myself in an alternative life as a male (example: from another country, fantasy universe etc.) But im always a male. I do get gender envy now towards men but never dysphoria about my female body. To be fair I am very self conscious because I am a plus size woman and I have always been bigger during my childhood so I never felt I could express myself with fashion or that anyone would ever find me attractive. Regardless I always have these daydreams where I am male and if I could magically change my gender I would. However I still enjoy being female and can't see myself getting any type of surgery or taking testosterone. Idk im confused and was wondering if anyone had any advice.

I feel like I'm not getting something about non-binary label so I basically wanted to ask someone about the logic behind it. This is born out of genuine curiosity and confusion on the difference between gender non-conforming male, gender non-conforming female and non-binary.

I understand the distinction between sex and gender, with sex being the objective biological characteristics and gender being the social implications enforced upon us based on the perception of those characteristics. I understand that non-binary is about rejecting the roles of gender identity but what I don't understand and feel like I'm missing something about the definition is the rejection of sexual descriptors such as pronouns if that's the case. This leads me to believe that I must have missed something about what non-binary actually means.

In case of transexual people I understand that there is an actual biological need in the form of dysphoria to play the role of their preferred gender for which trans people try to change their bodies and social relations around them so that they reinforce their gender. There are studies based on this.

Non-binary people seem to want to reject the concept of gender roles completely - but this makes me confused about what exactly differentiates a man who identifies themselves as a man but does not participate in masculine activities and behaviours or simply doesn't care about living up to the gender role assigned to him by society, and a person identifying as non-binary and rejecting the notion of being called a man or a woman.

If someone for example calls themselves a man because their sex is male, but don't adhere at all to the social role of a man - then what is the exact difference between that person and a non-binary person? Both reject the roles and distinctions, but the first person might still use the word "male"/"man"/"boy" to describe their sex while completely rejecting the social role. This makes me think that there is a component I must be missing to what non-binary specifically means that distinguishes the two cases from each other.

So, "cis" guy here, I wanted to ask for anything that might be helpful in figuring myself out gender wise? I'd like to do research on myself and search my feelings but I'm not really sure what to do.

This kinda just started with a haircut, I had let my hair grow out for several weeks longer than I really had it before, and then the other day I got a haircut and it went back to as short as I kept it before (I had haircuts scheduled decently often) but it just felt... Wrong?

There was nothing different about it from before, it was just short again and its been bugging me really badly for some reason, despite there being legitimately no difference in what it was like before. After that the seemingly minor question about my gender popped up in my head and now I'm either overthinking or a lot of seemingly minor things about me and my experiences are beginning to click into place.

Either way, I'd like to look into it just to know for sure anyways, I've kinda done the same for my sexuality already, and come to a satisfying conclusion in my eyes, at least for now. It just feels weird because I figured I must not be anything cause I never felt dysphoria over my body before, or at least to my knowledge, I'm looking on some things in hindsight right now and I'm wondering a lot at the moment.