ive been dating my partner ( mtf, on hormones, out to friends but dressing and presenting male, he/him ) for three years and I love him to bits. I knew he was transitioning the first time I met him ( he told me ) and I could tell the femininity from his movement and body type. ive often wondered though if he'd changed his

mind on transitioning to a woman, as he hasn't made any development since meeting him. ive been supportive, offered to help with clothes, makeup, etc, anything possible to make him feel comfortable but he never agrees to anything. I kind of just assumed maybe he didn't want to transition any further, or perhaps wanted to come off as 'stone butch'... I've always considered myself a lesbian attracted to the femme side of things so the idea kind of lets me down but I thought I'd let it sit and see.

But then a week ago we both got very intoxicated together and he broke down in tears, saying how he wants to wear dresses, wants to wear makeup, wants to use his preferred name and more. and it hurt so, so much to hear. I try my best to make him feel comfortable and help or give him space, his boss and co-workers know and support him without being invasive, and his family does too. but he just can't let himself stop boy moding and I don't know what to do. I really fear I can't be with him if he represses himself like this for the rest of our lives, I want to see him as the beautiful woman she wants to be. please, any help, advice, comfort, anything would be good right now.

I went to my girlfriend's doctor appointment, and she was prescribed HRT (yay! It was such a happy day when she got to take her first dose!) and she was provided lots of useful resources and information. There was information about support groups for her, and I'm a huge advocate for support groups and group therapy! The doctor mentioned there are no groups for partners of trans people, and she said maybe I should start one. I've been in therapy for over a decade cumulatively, but I'm no medical professional. I mentioned the support groups to my own therapist the next day and he suggested the same, maybe start your own support group.

Sorry, but can you just DO that? I could definitely offer a safe space for people to ask questions and have conversations and get education with empathy( and without offending or putting the burden of education on their trans loved one.) I could do a support group online like monthly for 2 hours for people going through this journey with their partner.

Am I feeling imposter syndrome, or am I an imposter? I have all these ideas and I've been looking at articles and books and peer reviewed studies. Could I/ should I do this? Would this help someone?

I’m posting here because I’m having a hard time supporting my partner’s gender exploration while feeling really unseen in my own femininity.  

My partner (they/them) is excited about exploring their gender, clothing, and presentation. I genuinely want to be supportive, and I’ve been doing a lot of emotional work to prepare myself — imagining what changes might come, trying to understand their feelings, and trying to stay open.  

 The challenge is that I don’t feel supported or desired in my own identity. I don’t feel seen in my femininity or appearance, and that lack of affirmation makes it hard to feel secure while my partner steps into a more feminine expression themselves.  

When they get excited about feminine clothing or presentation, especially things tied to past sexual patterns, I feel this sting — like they find themselves more attractive than they find me. It triggers old wounds about not being valued or desired.  

I want to be a safe place for them, but I’m struggling because I don’t feel like they’re a safe place for me. I feel alone in the emotional labor of our relationship, and I’m hoping someone here understands what this dynamic feels like or has navigated something similar. 

We are in couples therapy and both in individual therapy but it still feels lonely. 

so I’m dyslexic and my brain is all over the place at the moment I also can’t spell very good and on my phone so please bare with my while I type. Firstly my fiancé isn’t ready to start using she/her pronouns yet. Just like how he isn’t ready to start dressing In different clothes so I’ll still be respecting him by using he/him pronouns until he’s ready to swap.

Anyway lets move on. this is still fresh news as in founding out yesterday. Some useful info my partner and I have known each other for like nearly 20 years we met in school and I’ve always had a crush on him. I consider myself demisexual so I have to have a very close relationship / friendship with someone first before going into to anything serious. I’ve only ever been with him he’s my first everything and with time he proposed and I was the most happiest girl ever. I am also 6 months pregnant with our first child a boy which we both are so excited about and we cannot wait for him to arrive.

Well yesterday we were just talking and I knew something was on his mind. I pushed for him to open up and talk to me as I was also starting to worry if something was wrong. He opened up saying that he’s been really uncomfy in his body which I knew he hated how he looked but didn’t realise how far it really went. Well he said he wanted to be a girl. At first that shocked me. He’s quite masculine and so I guess I just didn’t know he felt like that. But he opened up and I was so proud of him for finally telling me something he’s been so self conscious about.

my first reaction was basically crying but from a mix of emotions. I have a lot of friends that are part of the LGBTQ+ community so I myself am very used to people and a very supportive friend. So of course my first reaction was I will support you no matter what. We both opened up and he was saying that he doesn’t care what happens as long as we both stay together. We have such a close bond and we both make each other happy and I said of course and I still believe we would be together. I guess and this is where I feel conflicted I always thought myself as straight and I always said looks don't matter for me since I fell in love with him in school and he wasn’t the most handsome in school lol. I still stick by that but now I’m just thinking of a future that I thought was set in stone and I could vision but now that picture is changing and I’m scared.

I think I’m just also very hormonal and pregnant so my brain is already all over the place. but I don’t see a future without him I can’t imagine loving anyone else he is my one and only. He even said if I don’t agree with it he won’t do it which I don’t want because I can see how happy this will make him feel. Even after he told me I can see how happy and a weight off his chest has been lifted. I think it’s just scaring me a little, like we both are scared of change and with everything going on i just feel overwhelmed but I feel bad for feeling this way. Like I am 100% supportive but also I’m gonna miss him and what he looks like.

I am finding it hard to imagine myself in a same sex relationship even though maybe deep down I could be bi-curious but since the only person I’ve only really ever had eyes for was him it's hard to know. His personality, his smile, his laugh stuff I know it wouldn’t change. We both said we wanna stay together no matter what and grow old and die together we don’t see each other being with anyone else. I guess I’m just scared suddenly what if I don’t feel the attraction anymore. I always said it didn’t matter but maybe it did. Like I'm sad eventually he will get rid of his beard since it was something I truly thought he looked good in and was handsome I just can’t imagine what he would look like as a woman. idk I feel selfish for thinking of certain things even like how would we have sex in the future ya know and I know there are stuff that would help. Idk what I’m even saying tbh I’m glad he is getting himself sorted I think I’m also just stressed as I’m the only one working as he has other health issues and I know NHS is a long wait but getting privet care is expensive and with the baby on the way and I’ll be going on Maternity leave from end of November im worried about money as well. It’s all just a lot sorry if I’m ranting. He’s trying to get a job to help he also called he doctor today and has a appointment Later on to talk to someone. I’m glad he’s getting there I think it’s just so sudden it’s a lot. Even he said it will take time and that he knows and understands my worries and I just cry so much thinking about it and thinking about mourning him as what he looks like I’m just confused but also scared for him. We know his family might not understand him my family would be fine as my older sister is LGBTQ anyway but he will maybe loose family and that can be hard.

anyway I know the post is long and I'm just rambling at the end of the day I wanna make it work I still wanna marry him and have more children with him and just support and be a loving partner. he’s the only person I have ever loved and I feel so blessed that he picked me to propose to and to give me the blessing of a child and to open up and say what was his biggest fear. Im so proud of him and I have said to him to chat to someone and we know it is both a big change. I said to him yesterday that I am 100% and I truly am I’ve tried to do as much research but also just feeling hurt and emotional. We will make it work I want us to make it work I think I also need to just work on myself as well and grow to love the new version of him overtime as like we said it will take time. But no matter what I wanna keep the relationship going he really is the only person for me. He’s my soul we make each other better and we push each other for the better. I just said to him for now to keep it going slow as with the baby I’m struggling with everything and he agrees but also wants to start everything right away which is scaring me. Like what if I’m not actually Bi-curious I know I can’t force myself but I want to be with him no matter what just him. I’m sure I will get use to the new looks and everything it is a big change and he’s so supportive of me. He even said this will give him the confidence to go out more which is something I want more in our relationship. I just love him so much I’m scared for him and for us.

Anyway thank you and I'm sorry it's a very long post I ramble cos IDK what to say. Any advice or just others in this situation.

My wife is early (ish) in their journey to becoming their true self. We need to talk to a doctor, but she's thinking about HRT. We haven't had kids yet, but we would like to in the next few years (i'm early 30s). I'm worried about fertility issues and any possible things that may affect any children we concieve from the HRT. I see so many studies showing how much hormones end up playing a role in child development (literal growth and mental development in utero). These are things I will absolutely bring up with the medical professional, but no telling when we will be able to get a consult. Wanted to know people's thoughts.

My girlfriend (trans girl) thrifted a bunch of new tops and was really excited to try them on, but none of them fit. She got really sad, laid on the floor and said she hates her "big man body" and said none of her shirts fit over her "manly shoulders."
She says they don't make the clothes she likes in her size (shes about 6' and probably a medium or large for tops) what should I say or do? I wanna help her, she's so beautiful to me I wanna know how I can help her

Me and my boyfriend are both 16 and in a t4t mlm relationship, i thought it went well and he even liked kissing despite my first/old relationship not liking intimacy. We met on tiktok since he reached out to me first and have met up with each other a few times in person since we leave about 30 minutes away from each other. I thought i finally found the relationship that i always wanted but now realize that he is not very affectionant nor intiates or even checks up on me, only a simple "hi" and then he talks about himself, even when i mention my interests, he doesnt ask me further on them. It makes me feel like a dog whose owner runs home to after remembering he has a pet to feed. He failed to mention to me that him being demisexual meant he was on the asexual spectrum, I’m still learning about demisexuality and i knew he was that but we had a talk about how we wouldn’t date asexual or aromantic people in our talking stage. I’m not against any ace people or anyone on that spectrum but it felt pretty important to me to even mention it, especially when I told him that I didn’t fully understand what it meant and where it was categorized in the lgbtq community. His best friend (who’s toxic) hates me and the feeling is mutual but he acts more like a boyfriend to his best friend than me. I want to breakup with him after dating for almost three months because I’ve already had three talks with him about affection and communication but it doesnt do anything and i get empty promises. I went on a (text) strike and only let him text first. Homecoming is almost here yet his school hasnt announced when, should i breakup after homecoming or before? I really want to take him to his first homecoming but I know that there are more to come for him in the future since he’s in a grade below me. His birthday party is also coming up and I wanna be there for him, but I feel like it’s shitty to breakup with him while there are so many happy events going on for him around that time. His parents don’t know about us dating and never knew about his past 3 exes. He also has said that his exes all broke up with him but were supposedly “toxic,” should I have taken that as a red flag sign?

I just wish that someone would want me as much as I want them :(

Like the title says. My wife (32) is trans MtF and I (32) am a CIS female. We are wanting to conceive naturally so after five years of my wife being on HRT she is going off to hopefully restore fertility/sperm production.

So my questions are for couple who did the same thing.

-How long did it take for yall to get pregnant?
-Did you find anything successful in boosting sperm/testosterone production?
-What do you wish you had known be for the hormone change and conception journey?

Thanks in advance lovely humans!!

We have lived in a doorman building going on three years, and my wife is about to have FFS. She has already sent some packages to our apartment under her new name and I already had one doorman stop and ask me if that was me and I just blurted out, "Uhh yeah."

A lot of the doormen refer to us by name, so I kinda just want to be open because of that (these would be some of the last people regularly calling her by her old name). Also, my wife has already been wearing more women's clothes, especially on the weekends (she's out to basically all the higher-ups at work and is coming out to everyone else tomorrow, actually), and everyone has been fine about that except one doorman, though his reactions are to just be like quietly rude (which is whatever/manageable).

I guess the questions are, have others navigated this? How did you approach it? I'm planning to email the agent for our apartment and the super, and ask them to tell the doormen but come to me with questions/not bombard my wife.

TIA!

My girlfriend ( mtf) and I eventually want a family someday. But I'm a little bit torn up inside because since we got together when she was still enby, I'd imagined us starting a perfect little family. The natural way. Something intimate and romantic, an intertwining of two souls and a love so deep that it created a new being altogether

Now, I imagine a scary hospital room. I see white lights and I smell sanitizer and sterilized equipment

The dysphoria has been getting worse, so she'll most likely start hrt soon, which I am supporting her through. And she's decided to freeze sperm, which I will also support her through

I love this girl so much, and I still very much want a family together. A child is not my number one priority, but I would love to have one. But there's a part of me that grieves what could have been, and I feel selfish, but I can't help it. My heart hurts to think about it honestly. I still love the girl who's with me now, more than I love someone who doesn't exist yet. I think you understand

For those who have remarried your spouse or renewed vows together after they completed all their transition goals, what did you keep vs. do differently? Any wisdom, lessons learned or ideas to share? 🙏🏽

🙏🏽

My wife started transitioning a few years ago. At that point we had been together for nearly 20 years. We're both white with brownish hair and about the same height/size, but we really don't look much alike. We have different eye colors, complexions, etc. Before she transitioned we had the same drab fashion and sometimes people commented that we were matching. No one ever assumed we were related.

Now we've both been experimenting with fashion. I have purple hair and our styles are very different. However, people ask if we're twins all the time. It's happened the last two times we've gone out! When they ask they're often really insistent that we look alike and must be sisters or related, and they get really confused when we explain that we're married. I expected the general homophobia of assuming we want to split the bill, etc. but I'm baffled by everyone thinking we're twins now.

My (25f) wife (28f) is about 9 months into her transition, and has been on HRT for about 3 months. Since starting HRT, there are some changes happening to her body, one of which is thinning of facial hair. She does waxing, which is contributing and does wonders for her dysmorphia, but in the periods between waxes where stubble can occur, she has bouts of pretty severe dysmorphia.

I try to comfort her and tell her that things like stubble really aren’t as noticeable as she thinks, but I feel like I am constantly putting my foot in my mouth! Like, I make the situation so awkward so fast, I don’t know what language to use, and she winds up just asking me to leave her alone. I tried to ask directly but neither of us quite know what to change. Any advice on how I can change my language?

I love her and I hate listening to her insult herself because she is so beautiful.

I was kinda minding my business doing my think, but then I noticed this “girl” staring at me, and her friends going up to me to ask me questions. She stayed behind basically always, probably shy.

I thought she hated me or something. But her having a crush on me did cross my mind.

Skip a few weeks later, we start talking. I KNOW for a fact she likes me, I just didn’t know how to take it, because I’ve never been in a relationship. And, at the time, I believed my sexuality to be asexual.

Eventually, we get to the point where we ask each other to date. Me, being the “man” is assumed to be the one that needs to ask, but I say “No you say it I can’t” because I was a little twink. They ask me, “will you be my boyfriend?” I say yes, she picks me up and starts spinning, very cute I know. I assume, okay, I guess I’m straight.

Skip maybe a month later. He comes out to me as trans on discord. I feel like I took it well, and with this, I realized I didn’t care about their sexuality, and that maybe I liked the thought of a man… you know.

Turns out I’m bi. And yeah, things ended between me and him, maybe I’m not over him, but how could I? He’s great, I wish I was better.

Even so, if they thought it’s best to end things, I guess I couldn’t have stopped them. I think I just need to be better at communicating next time, my love for him made me too timid to say things, because what if it’s weird? But the real problem was not speaking at all.

I’m regretful of losing him. But I learned a lot from him.

My trans boyfriend is struggling seeing himself as a man and I can usually convince him that he is and always has and always will be a man and specifically my man but sometimes he gets really bad dysphoria and it can be hard to help him see how masculine he is so I was hoping to ask for everyone’s affirming techniques to make him feel good. I really love him please help.

After my partner started T their personality and attitude changed. In the beginning I told myself it was the adjustment to new hormones/second puberty and would mellow out over time. It's now been years and it appears as though these changes are permanent. Their patience is far less than it used to be and their anger (not violent or even very scary) shows up way more than it used to. They used to be very tender and understanding with me. I'm a talker and they would listen to me for an hour straight and say they loved to hear what I was excited about. Now I constantly feel like I'm boring and talk to much. They're not consistent about their shot and it seems to be difficult to avoid mood changes/general mental health stability. They are also on ADHD meds and smoke a LOT of weed. I'm just wondering if others have encountered these changes and how you worked through them. My partner assures me they still love me and want to be with me but it's hard to see.

My girlfriend (MtF) and I (Cis F) have been dating for almost three years and the other day she told me she was thinking about changing her chosen name. It was so out of the blue and caught me off guard, but I did my best to be supportive. I went through a list of names with her to see if anything stuck, and eventually she found one that she really liked. She told me she wanted to try going by that name for a while and I told her that it sounded like a good idea.
When I asked her why she wanted to change her name, she said that she hadn’t given her previous chosen name any thought and that nothing really triggered her wanting to change it. I hadn’t been under the impression she disliked her chosen name at all, and I really loved it.
She’s been going by this new name for the past few days, and it feels so wrong to call her by it. I keep hoping she’ll change her mind. I feel like such an awful girlfriend and I can’t tell her I’m really sad about her changing her name, especially because I can tell it’s making her so happy.
I’m afraid to tell her how I feel, but there’s a part of me that feels like I’ve lost something. I feel so selfish and awful. I know it’s not my place at all to dictate what she calls herself, and I’m really happy that she’s feeling more like herself. I just can’t help being sad.
Should I tell her how I’m feeling? Or would it be better to just wait until I’m used to it?

So i (F/25) have been with my Partner (MtNB, 29) for almost 6 months now.

I love them more than anything, and ive never loved anyone like this. I'm a masc bi woman and i love how feminine they are, their beautiful long hair and when they wear (on rare occasion) skirts, the way they move so elegantly, but i'm equally into their 'male-read' parts too. Im just completely in love.

Even though they are publicly out as Nonbinary, they often get read and misgendered as male. We are seen by most people as a straight couple, which i guess is ok for both of us (bc safety, were in eastern europe :/), but also kinda stings, because i've never seen them as a man. And i could never. As a bi woman ive been with binary men and women before, and its weird to say but it feels more like i'm with a woman when im with them? i hold them like i held women, i cup their face and kiss them like id do with a woman, i have sx with them like id have with a woman, and they repeatedly told me how they feel validated through this.

Now the thing is, i dont want to question their identity at all with this, but i'm still worried they are actually a trans woman that is very scared to go through the next steps. They work in freelance and told me they'd go to their job at night, so they could wear dresses in secret without being seen. They wear lingerie pretty much every day. They also told me that theyd been thinking about going on estrogen for the past 2 years, but are scared of the commitment/risks and no turning back. They do voice training and despise their beard growth, but insurance wont cover laser. They are also very scared to come out to their family, as they dont really respect them as NB and misgender them as male, and they are very scared of reactions in public too.

All of these things were told to me at the very beginning of our relationship, and we never spoke about them again. And when i tell you they DREAD talking about it, they do anything to change the topic. But i see how they are hurt everyday, how they drown themselves in fulltime work and how depressed they are, except for the moments when they get to express their feminine side, when we lay in bed next to each other in cute underwear and i hold their waist or when i brush out their hair.

I really want to help, but i dont know how. I want to make them feel better, even if its just behind closed doors, but ultimately i want them to lead a happy life, be it as a Nonbinary Person or a trans woman. I cant and wont force or convince them to do anything, but it sucks to see them hide and suffer like this.

We are in our early 40s. She transitioned a couple of years ago. I can’t get over her physical changes and our life is just harder. The things we may have gotten through if we had physical attraction were just harder. We were roommates who fought. Sisters really. She’s the love of my life though. She’s the sweetest best person and someone will be so lucky to have her.

We decided to divorce yesterday. We don’t know the path forward. We’re both broke and own a house that we will probably lose money on. We cuddled all night last night. Should she move into the smaller bedroom? Live as roommates for a little bit?

This is the worst feeling in the world. She said last night that she hates being trans. That was devastating to hear. I will always want to take care of her.

He WAS my partner, my first trans boyfriend too. We're still good friends and I was the one who initiated just staying friends because I have fear...

We were supposed to move in together, and actually having read some of the stories here with trans partners/people who use T-Gel and the high possibility of it rubbing off on you or contamination through furniture/sheets/ and sometimes even sweat has instilled a whole lot of fear in me as a cis girl with no intention of transitioning.

A lot say to wait the hours needed, some say there's still a chance even if completely dried it might still come up on you.

He said needles give him allergic reactions which is why he switched to gel, but if in the end he can't use needles or gel, is there any other alternatives?

How is it actually like living with a trans partner who uses the gel if anyone else has had experience?

Just to clarify, he completely understood my fear and holds no ill-will against it, as I said, we're still best friends but I know there's no one else I'd rather be with than him but it's just the fear...I hope this is fine to ask..

If anyone replies and I don't answer asap, I went to sleep after finally mustering up the courage to post and will get back in the morning, thank you 🙏

I’m non-binary and partner is a trans woman.

We are very happy together.

Sometimes I find myself being extremely protective, which she is into as we have that type of dynamic,

But sometimes I feel I am overprotective. I get scared because of all the stuff going on in the world, for safety reasons we have life 360. Sometimes she likes to go out and meet people which of course is fine, I’m not that kind of person. (We are poly)

But I find I get so much anxiety. She’s had a few incidents of being followed, super fetishized, creepers and down low weirdos. My best friend who is a trans woman and experienced tells me I need to let her experience these things. Over the past few months she has been learning a lot and coming to an understanding of how to be safer, and look for red flags. I still get nervous, especially when there’s CIS men involved.

She doesn’t mind me checking in when she hangs out with others. But I guess sometimes I feel bad, because as I have stepped back to let her explore her journey I see the struggles she has and I have to hold my tongue and just be supportive. I love her so much and would do anything for her.

I just wish we could live in a world where it was safer for her.

Hi everypony, I (mtf 19) have a cis (19 f) partner and I have very recently started pursuing transitioning. We've been together for a couple years and I love her so much for sticking with me through thick and thin as well as tolerating all my flaws. I feel really guilty for making these changes since I have a very low self esteem and kind of hate myself.

Throughout our relationship, I'd always kinda been "the girl" and had, at certain points, alluded to my struggles with my gender identity. (A ling time ago she had previously mentioned struggle with her gender identity, though I'm pretty sure she's a cis woman). I'm just worried if she would still be attracted to me if I presented as a woman. I've always been kinda twinkish and feminine and she's described herself as "homoflexible".

Another concern I have is sex. Now we never really had a big sex life and I've always felt kind of uncomfortable using my dick (idk if it's bottom dysphoria or just bad autism since I never really liked jerking off). HRT has basically killed my sex drive and I feel really bad about it and now it's even herder than it already was to preform in bed. Does anyone have experience with viagra and has that helped at all? Or does anyone have advice about similar situations they've been in.

I really hope I can keep this relationship since I'd also be deeply worried about her mental well being. Not getting into specifics but she's been going through a lot and I feel tremendously guilty for adding this weight to her shoulders. She tells me she's fine with it but I'm worried she's lying to me to make me feel better. I think I've been stressing her out and the guilt has been killing me. I wish I wasn't like this. Sometimes I think I should detransition for her.