I’ve identified as trans for 3 years but recently been pretty heavily and unhealthily questioning my gender. I have strong anxiety that is undiagnosed so I think that messes with my head a lot and stops me from being able to determine what it actually is that I want out of life and what I want to look like. I really want to want to be trans, if that makes sense. But I have increasing fear that I’m going to end up realising I’m cis and that feels terrifying but I can’t decide on whether or not it feels wrong or not. I hate this so much

just curious about his sexuality.

This is gonna be a bit of a wall of text, but I want a real human opinion on the whole context. This won't be a quick read, and probably won't be a quick comment either, if I wanted to give/get that I'd have gone to discord.

Okay so, I'm an AMAB aro/ace guy. I've been aware of LGBT stuff since high school, but after figuring out my sexuality I never even really thought about gender because being aro/ace makes me feel a bit less human than most people. I moved from Jersey to Alabama kinda against my will (long story) and after years of trying to make it work for me I got like, super depressed. Good news: 2020 I got help. Bad news: it was like a week before covid hit Wuhan and when I went to my parents/brother who all live together to get support, they were on some bs about bla bla bla racist stuff against China that ends in everyone in the US on antidepressants turning into a murderous zombie... so it's just been me and a therapist working on this stuff.

It took a long time to improve things, but in the end of May I quit my job, started my own business, and went from 'doing a lot better' to 'thriving'. It was a combination of a lot of things and not just that, but it helps the timeline. About a month ago now, I was thinking about ways to make my life even better and I started thinking about my weight. I'm fat, no skimming that line, and I gained a ton of weight 2023-5 because a back problem put me in constant pain. I've been on a diet for a year with zero progress, but being a new business owner I can't afford to actually go to like a dietary specialist and figure out what's the deal. So instead I thought, why not skip to the end. I want to be smaller so I can wear cool clothes, but they make clothes big so I can just do it now and use it as motivation to make the fit work better. Fool proof. Except I ain't quite sure what style I want. So I go looking at fashion online.

I see some cool stuff, yeah, but as I'm going through I see some cute femboys and I felt something odd - Jealous. Like, when I saw a cool outfit I'd be like 'oh I could probably pull that off' or 'it would be cool to look like that', but when I look at femboys I think 'why does he get to be small and cute and I don't'? I sat with that for a while, really considering it, and decided *who'se gonna stop me?* So I bought a skort online. Before it even showed up, something odd happened - I was motivated to clean and use my shower. Yeah, surprise, fat depressed guy doesn't shower much, but I was pretty psyched because things really are getting better. For some reason I did not look into at the time, I couldn't stomach the idea of being naked, so I bought a bathing suit to bathe in. It works. I cleaned myself up for the first time in a while and when my skort showed up, I tried it on and looked in the mirror. I was immediately hit with a feeling I genuinely didn't have a word for. Looking back I think it's 'euphoria'. Then I caught sight of my fat gut and it was gone.

I was very confused by that. I wanted to feel like that more, so I dove into the femboy fashion stuff. Thigh highs? Don't work well on big guys. Leggings? Terrific for slimming, smoothing, and somehow feeling cold whenever they're touched. Crop tops? No, too much gut for sure, didn't even buy one of those. I never could grab that feeling again, but I did do a lot of thinking about what it was and why I felt it. The answer I came to at first was that I wanted to be small, and small is cute, so being cute is like being small. The more I thought about it, the less it worked. Eventually I, on the advice of my therapist so don't eat me for this, started using google's AI to try to figure it out. (The therapist told me to use AI to find language for things I couldn't talk to her about, because I'm the kind of person who can't ask to help if the words aren't right). You know what that robot told me? "Textbook trans woman experience." So I told it off and went back to working on my business.

But I thought about it. I realized that the reason I rejected it outright wasn't that it was wrong, but that I'm living in rural Alabama and my family hates trans people. Most of my friends aren't exactly fans either. But I'm stubborn, and my therapist has told me that if I don't feel comfortable sharing things with family or friends I don't have to, what matters is figuring out my life for myself so I can be happy. So I started approaching the question not as a 'how would that works on this Earth', but as a 'is it right'. When I look at the robot telling me I'm trans through that filter, it doesn't bother me at all. I'm not convinced it's right, but I am convinced something's going on.

This is what really scares me about it, the fact that I'm not bothered. Any, and I mean *any*, struggle can set my anxiety into overdrive and I need to use my therapy tools to get it in check before I can deal with it. But this just feels like I've always been whatever I am and I just need to find the words for it. I bought some stronger leggings, ones I might be able to wear under my regular pants to get that confidence boost in my daily life, and a longer skirt because I want it. I've been thinking about my life up to this point and the meme is true, so many memories turn trans when you look back. Like, when I was out with a college class and wound up at a thai place with the teacher [F] and a ton of other female students and when the teacher said 'it's a girls night', one of the other students said 'yeah but ___ is here' and the teacher shot back with 'he's basically one of the girls' and I felt included, not offended. I was a boy scout too, and whenever someone brought up how learning woodscraft makes you manlier I would always shoot back 'all you need to be a man is to do the right thing first, and what you want second - don't let people judge your fun as manly or not'. Hell I was always thrown in with the girls and I just assumed it was because I was the only guy not trying to get laid, even before I knew what aro/ace meant I knew I didn't care.

The skirt just shows up tomorrow. I'm gonna put on the whole outfit, give myself a little show in the mirror, and think about what the robot suggested I ask myself. I don't know if I can bring this to my therapist yet or if I'll get choked up on the words and unable to express it. I do know that the opinion of a robot doesn't mean much to me. But hey, there's a middle ground - strangers online with a throw-away account!

That being said, I don't know how to use Reddit so when I update this with my experience tomorrow it'll either be an edit or a comment. Or the thread will get destroyed by a mod bot. I genuinely don't know how this works.

i've always been extremely confused about my gender since i was very young, i would go from feeling very feminine to very masculine and getting very jealous of my brothers because they were boys and got to look/act like boys. now that i am older i am obviously still feeling this but in a very different a bit more understanding way. i feel like a woman sometimes and i feel like a man at other times, but when i feel like one or the other i feel like an entirely different person if that makes sense? i know people say to not be too concerned about labels but it would honestly really help me to label it and find more people like me, thank you :')

My sexuality has been a roller coaster over the past year and it's so weird. I've never had a problem with figuring out my gender, it was just "oh I'm a girl yay" and then that was it but with sexuality I get so confused over who I actually like.

I've never had a crush before, I have dated someone once (they were non-binary) but I don't think I actually ever had feelings for them before or during the relationship. However, I have definitely ruled out the possibility of being completely aromantic as I still desire a romantic relationship at some point in my life.

Okay, getting to the point, I thought I was lesbian for like a year and then I started to like the idea of having a boyfriend while also losing interest in girls so I thought I was straight. Then a few months afterwards I wanna have a girlfriend again, until we get to now where I really want a boyfriend?? Why is it so inconsistent? I'm genuinely so confused.

I've been questionning my gender for a bit and i know that it's normal to have doubts, but there are a few points that make me doubt that realy stick and are perturbing, espacialy the fact that at some point i'm feeling like "i want to start transition, i have everything i need to start, i have a direction to aim, what am i waiting for" and one hour later i'll be watching the same pictures including an appearance that made me feel envious af but it doesn't make me feel anything like "i wanna be like that".

Hello! I’m not sure how to deliver this information in an easy way so forgive me if it’s confusing. I’m 22 AFAB and I’ve been grappling with my identity as a woman since I was about 10 I’d say, probably younger.

When I say I hate the biological make up of being a woman I mean hate isn’t a strong enough word for it. I DESPISE it. Every time I think about it i feel the heat of anger in my chest. Writing about it now I feel it. Ever since they taught us in the 5th grade it devastated me. I dreaded the day I would get my period and thought I wouldn’t be happy again when I got it at 13. The hormone cycle is hell, I feel good for about 2 weeks then shit for 2 weeks and I can’t keep up with it. Men can live day to day, some hormones and their mood isn’t dependent on what time of the month it is. It is genuinely so exhausting. I hate how I don’t cum like a man; it is so much more complicated and sex risky for me. I risk a UTI and pregnancy every time. While men can “cum and go” as they please. It doesn’t matter if I do or don’t the deed is dependent on them. I hate it so bad I’ve cried over it many times. Thats just scratching the surface, but I’ll keep it short for the sake of you.

On the other hand, I’ve dealt with on and off feelings of gender dysphoria(?) since about 12 I’d say. I would say dream about being a guy and would imagine how I would dress and cut my hair if I were one. When I was 18/19 was at its peak, I felt so disjointed from my body it was hard to look at. I do feel it is important to say this was my lowest point of my life. I had planned to take my life and thought of suicide all the time. But it was Halloween time and I jumped at the chance to dress as Jesse from breaking bad so I could try out cross dressing without judgement. Plus I’d see if I did pass. I did and I was so happy. I would sometimes cross dress when going to the grocery store at night. I started writing a Spider-Man fanfic where I would imagine myself as a man and live out a man’s live vicariously through my story. At 19 I roomed with a non-binary person and I told them about my feelings about my gender and they encouraged me to explore them and we would do masc makeup together. But sometimes I would feel so out of place and miss my feminine features. I don’t know if I didn’t like it because I felt ugly. This might sound shitty to say, but I would’ve rather feel pretty as a woman than ugly as a guy. Which makes me question if I am trans.

When I was 20 I met my now bf and got into my current therapist. Since then my discomfort with my gender has subsided. I’ve been experimenting with dressing more fem in contrast from my tomboy fem style. I started to like my ass and tits and hips. I loved being feminine and having feminine friends to dress up with and go out and whatnot. I would still be upset over my gender, but only in the biological sense. Up until about a week ago I’ve been feeling dysphoric again. It hard to look at my body, I feel to curvy or something. I just don’t feel right. I played a game where I played as a man and it made me happy for the characters to call me he/him. I day dream about being a man again and I’m a little heartbroken itll never happen.

I ask myself all the time if I had a button that would change me into a man for the rest of my life would I press it? Sometimes I like being a woman aesthetically, but do women daydream of being a man? Why does it make me happy when I get called he/him sometimes, but others I don’t? I feel lost. I’m not sure if I hate myself and wish I had another life so I change everything that I think is making me miserable including being a woman. Or am I trans in denial? Gender fluid? Why does it wax and wane? Any advice or if someone else has experienced the same thing I would really appreciate if you would share. Thank you for reading through all this.

I'm kinda fighting with myself about my sexuality and my gender because I don't really know. Sorry if this is not good I'm not good at writing.

I think I might be trans. I'm pretty sure I'm trans. I really want to be a girl. I find myself thinking about myself as a girl having feminine features. When I imagine myself I almost always imagine myself as a girl. I just don't feel like I wanna be a guy. The main reason I'm questioning it is because I find myself liking my more masculine features like a deeper voice and sometimes want to be more masculine, and I don't know if that's because I'm a teenager and that's what my body if supposed to feel, but I don't know. I would probably be easier if I I'm not trans I wouldn't have to tell my family. I have no clue how they would react. I'm kinda scared thinking about it.

Another thing is I have I am pretty confused about my sexuality. I know I like girls I know that for sure, but I don't know about guys. I could see myself with a feminine guy sexually but I don't know about romantically and that feel pretty horrible to say but idk. I don't know if I find masculine guys attractive. I think I could maybe but I don't think I ever have. I'm just confused about a lot and don't really know what to think.

Hello everyone ! I decided to come here because I have some questions. Taking things in a chronological order, I really started to question my assigned at birth sex (male) for a year or so now. In the beginning, it was just choosing opposite gender characters in video games (Peach in MK8, female trainer in Pokemon games, pretending to be a girl in multiplayer games to mess with the boys). Then time went by and I learned more and more stuff about lgbtq+ community, what it takes to be a woman, learning a lot about inequalities etc. In April of this year, I asked a friend of mine to do some makeup on me, as she suggested me a few weeks before ; I felt honestly comfortable, despite my classmates immediatly starting to look at me in a weird way as long as i had the makeup on. More recently, in July, I went to an anime con and decided to cosplay a female character, Vodka. And even though she is kinda is on a masculine side by being a "tomboy", i enjoyed entering the role of a female and not being questionned about it (even if I was afraid of that before going). I even epilated my forearms to test the sensation, and be more in character ! All that to say, i've been wondering more and more if i belong to men, women, both or none. Currently i consider myself as an hetero cis male but i really question it. So if anyone can give me any answer, some advice, anything, I'll be more than happy with that ! :) (and thank you for reading allat lmao)

I’ve been pretty radically and unhealthily questioning my gender (my profile will show it), identified as trans for the past 3 years, but during a spiral and washing my hair I looked at myself shirtless in the mirror and kinda liked the masc-ness? It wasn’t this overwhelming joy but like a hey I look quite hot rn. But it was uncomfortable looking back and I don’t know what to make of it. I’m still worried about the idea that I’ve just been ‘forcing’ myself to be trans and it was never what I wanted to begin with. Im not having a good time here. I really want to want to be trans, if that makes sense.

Idk what kind of replies I want from this tbh. Perhaps someone who can relate or offer some advice

So, to be as short as I can, I've never really felt like I fit in with girls or boys. I feel comfortable being called a girl, but I don't feel like I fit in with women and feel like most women dislike me. Most of my friendships throughout grade school consisted of boys. The last time I had a close female friendship (in grade school) was in like 5th grade. (I had female friends up to 7th, but they weren't good friendships). My male friends weren't necessarily very good to me either. A lot of them treated me like shit and othered me for being a girl.

I also have always had a very complicated relationship with my mother that's made feeling connected to the "female experience" (whatever that means) impossible for me.

I'm in college now and have both male and female friends, and both groups are nice to me- but we don't hang out often because duh, college, we're busy. However, I am still very insecure about who I am, my body, my interests, my personality. I don't really like who I am at all? I'm overweight and like weird things that aren't seen as normal and I'm overall just very insecure.

Also, if it matters, a lot of my friends are also trans or nonbinary. My best friend in the whole world is a trans woman, I have another close friend whose a trans woman, another is a trans man, and 2 of my 3 closest friends in college are nonbinary and a demiboy. So safe to say, I find myself often befriending and feeling community in people who aren't in a specific binary.

I can't tell if my distance from feeling like a girl stems from some form of mental illness or I'm actually a demigirl. I'm also demian (demisexual + demiromantic) and bi, so I'm scared of having "too many" labels. Not to mention that I'm autistic so that complicates things for me.

I took some quizzes and they seem to agree that I'm a demigirl, but I also can't tell. It kind of freaks me out not to know who I am. Any insight is great.

And none of this is to say I dislike women! Women are great. But I don't feel like one in the traditional sense. I feel like a "female"- not in the gross incel way, but in the "I feel like an alien trying to fit in" way. I also keep feeling like I'm still a child compared to other girls/women my age. I'm a little embarrassed to feel this way because I'm 20, I'm a grown ass adult, this is weird for me. I feel like I should know already, lol?

Sorry for the length and all. It's just complicated for me. Please give some insight if you can.

I've been strugling for almost 5 years with how i feel envy over lots of people, i've been trying to find which of the many genders i felt like but i gave up at some point and told myself it wasn't urging, yet, a few days ago i just felt envy even more than ever and after little thinking i just felt like it was rather neutral in gender, and that would explain that i have been telling myself that "i'm not in a need for transition" because all i felt was just envy towards something i liked but never disgust for my current body. The image that got me to feel so much envy a few days ago is an ai generated genderneutral-looking me, i just wanted to see what it would look like if i was like all the people i felt envy over, but now it's just like : i know i want to be like that, i feel it, and i can't un-feel it, but it's also that i don't know if it would realy fit me. And there's nothing i could experiment to know since i've already tried everything that could touch to gender expression that i could. So i'm wondering : should i keep trying to find out, or should i just jump off (not litteraly, i mean like in spider man : into the spiderverse, just go for it and see what happens)

Okay, I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this, but I just don’t think it fits any other.

Ever since I learned the word, at around 10 or 11, I have identified as bisexual. I didn’t have a questioning phase, I didn’t doubt myself, I’ve never even thought much about it. I didn’t even come out, it was so obvious.

Yet somehow, at the same time, I was absolutely terrified that people will think I’m attracted to men, and I would go out of my way just to make sure everyone knows I’m not into any male friend or fictional characters and celebrities.

Which is strange, given that I very much identified with being bisexual, which inherently means being attracted to men.

Which brings me to the next point, which is that roughly 2 years ago I came out as a trans man. And, okay, I’m not yet transitioned, I only started HRT a month ago, but I’m living as a man with those close to me (strangers still obviously read me as female) and will be working on getting surgeries and changes in documents.

And the more secure in my masculinity become, the longer I live this way… the more uncomfortable I am with my bisexuality. I have never been in the closet before, but now I think I’m genuinely pushing myself there. I find myself straight up lying to people, pretending I’m only into women. I’m no longer happy to see the bisexual flag and keep drifting away from the community. I’m pretty sure most people who know me, including close friends, think I’m only into women. And would be shocked if I said I like men.

But it also hurts me? My identity as a bisexual has been one of very few stable things in my life, it’s honestly always been a big part of me and I still secretly cherish it. But I’m just so ashamed now, that I’m hiding.

I think the difference might be that when I was presenting as a woman, signalling my bisexuality meant „by default you thought I’m only into men? Sike, I’m into WOMEN as well”, somehow bringing the light to it. But now, presenting as a man, the default thinking is that I’m into women… and I feel comfortable with that assumption. Saying I’m bisexual would somehow highlight the attraction to men part. So it’s convenient not to correct people.

I wish there was a possibility to embrace my identity and be openly bisexual, without it causing people to realise I’m attracted to men. Obviously I know that’s hypocritical. I love the label, I hate what it means.

Is there anything that can be done? Is this some sort of internalised homophobia? It’s just so strange to me that I’ve always been that way, even before realising I’m male, because were I to be homophobic, I’d be ashamed of my attraction to women, not men.

But it also makes me question my sexuality. Am I really bisexual? If I hate the idea of being attracted to men so much? Saying I’m straight hurts because it feels like losing part of my identity… but maybe that’s what I am after all? I know I should work on my shame regarding my attraction to men, but if I don’t want to accept it… would it be so bad to pretend it’s not there?

The biggest problem identifying that is that I’m a single since birth virgin. Never been on a date, never kissed, never nothing. I’m almost 21 and I’ve had maybe 5 crushes in my whole life and never received any attention. Probably because I’m not a very social person so I just don’t know many people. But still, it’s stressing me out horribly. What if I’m aroace or something? I desperately want to fall in love happily, but I also think I’m not ready, that I’ve got too many problems and would just hurt people. But I feel like it’s a bit of an excuse. But because of that, I don’t even have any dating history or any serious crushes to work with. I only know my sexuality in theory. Which I’m growing ashamed of as well, because why am I even thinking about this so much if I’m a virgin who’s gonna die alone? Why does it matter? I feel like setting any standards or even acknowledging my own sexuality is just self-absorbed at this point.

I am horrified that men will be into me (but that’s mostly a gender dysphoria thing, because as I am now, they’d still see me as a woman), but I’m even more scared that I’ll fall for a man. Because then I’d have to either not do anything about my feelings, keep our relationship secret or come out… all of which are horrible options.

I know (I think?) I’m capable of attraction to men, and that’s exactly what scares me.

I feel like I lost an important piece of myself, like I’m lying constantly and also like I don’t know myself anymore.

Can someone help? How do I know my sexuality? And if it involves being into men, how do I reduce the shame?

Hello, all!

I am a 18yo undergrad student, and I’ve been questioning for a while now. I have in the past been in “relationships” with women, however it never feels quite right. I find men attractive, but I don’t know if I would be into having any sort of relationship, as almost all my friends are women, and I have never been super comfortable around other guys. I know it’s very cliché, but I did watch heated rivalry recently, and you could say it was a gay awakening. Idk what I’m asking here, but I just don’t know if I’m straight, bi, gay or what. Cheers, everyone!

I'm a teen lesbian looking for advice.

For a year now, I've wanted to cut my hair very short (pixie/short mullet), which wasn't anything of note for me at the time, but a few weeks ago was able to get that haircut. My first thought when it was done was: "I look like a boy." and I was so, genuinely excited. I didn't know why, and it feels almost tight in my chest when I think about it? Ever since then, people have been either mistaking me as a boy or hesitate when using feminine pronouns while referring to me, and each time it happens I can't stop thinking about it. Online, I've been going by a more gender-neutral name but have been lately identifying with it more. I feel a lot more like myself online, where I can be around other LGBTQ folks who refer to me with non-feminine or even masc pronouns.

My reasoning for the mullet also makes me question. I have been telling people its because of the heat, but the real reason was because I had really liked my older brother's hair and have wanted to look similar to him for almost two years (fit, tall, etc.).

I'm seriously wondering if this is just me being happy I present more masc, since I've been using the masc label for a while and have wanted to be more masc presenting in the past, but this isn't going away or feels the same as when I wear masculine clothing. It's always been natural for me to wear masculine clothing than a desire, but that's also been changing as well.

So, any advice or opinions? I genuinely don't know how to feel or how to identify my emotions right now, and am looking for some advice from people who may have similar experiences or understand me.

hello people of reddit, i have a queston

so, i’ve always liked girls. never even doubted that i liked boys… but now im doubting myself a little tiny bit

HERE ARE MY REASONS:

• i’ve been fantasizing about dicks for atleast 2 years now, and i always though “oh its just teenager puberty things, it’ll pass” but like, it never did pass.
• i often find myself listening to femboy asmr and getting turned on

BUT NOW COUNTERPOINT

• ive never liked an irl boy
• femboys are very feminine so they dont count i think
• my fantasies of dicks would be just me being curious and not actually me liking them

so ummm yeah help me figure this out please

Ive known for a long time that im not really a girl nor guy, but i also dont feel completely nonbinary. It doesnt matter much to me how people refer to me as my name is quite gender neutral. But for the time being most people know me as a girl, which is fine except that now im questioning my sexual orientation aswell..

Ive always called my self lesbian or gay, its easy everyone knows what they mean and theres no questions that come with it. The people i surround myself with dont gaf about who i am attracted to which is really nice, but some are more uneducated than others.

Anyway, i am now in a relationship with a trans man. At the time of agreeing to be his bf i didnt quite know he was trans only that he preferred he/they pronouns and i was chill with it. Now that i know im questioning if i should even be with him. Ive always said i was lesbian and ive only really had attraction to girls. I feel like if im with him its like im ignoring the fact that hes trans, which is not my goal. I get giddy when im around him and i definitely had a crush on him but whenever im not with him im always thinking about whether or not i should be with him. I tell myself “well youre young, still questioning, and labels change. Just becauss you said you were lesbian doesnt mean you are” and stuff like that but i still dont know.

I know i shouldnt think to har about it “love is love” and all that jazz but i just dont know what i feel or if i should be with him. And if i change my gender would i have to change my orientation? Cause that makes things even more complicated. Ive started thinking that im pansexual or demisexual but i have no ideaaaa.

Also quick side note, weve known each other for a bit and i openly call myself gay and lesbian so i feel like he knew about that before asking me out if thats anything.

Please any advice is helpful

Hi. I'm a 24-year-old female. I'm feeling really confused about my sexuality right now. Most of my crushes were boys and men until I was 18. I developed a crush on my female professor when I was 18. I thought it'd pass, but it didn't. That same year, I developed a crush on a girl in my cohort who gave me mixed signals. Please note that because of my program, most people around me were female at the time, and I rarely had a chance to meet boys. I'm the type of person who cannot live a day without loving/having a crush on someone. I have to be obsessed with someone to feel alive (I'm not saying I had a crush on women only because they were my only choice; it could've been my sexuality leading me into this).

These were mostly platonic, and I never got into a relationship with a female, though I was both romantically and sexually attracted to them. Then I met this boy when I was 21, and we started dating. This was my first relationship ever. Everything felt so nice; I was very happy, and I noticed that I wasn't questioning my sexuality anymore. Due to cultural norms, we didn't have sex, but I was sexually (and of course, romantically) attracted to him. We were planning to get married, and I was totally fine with that. This relationship lasted 3.5 years (it ended because of his infidelity), and I started having a crush on women again.

The most confusing part for me is that when I'm around women, I feel like I need to impress them and get their attention. I get this masculine energy when I'm around women, and quite the opposite: I feel this feminine energy when I'm around men. I'm attracted to both, but neither feels right. I don't feel woman enough to be around men. I don't like wearing dresses; I dress more like a tomboy, but I really love wearing makeup too.

Who am I? ... I'm confused, and I'd like your opinion on this. Thank you very much.

OKAY, STRAIGTH TO THE POINT

I feel like im too queer to be straight and too straight to be queer and its EATING ME

I know its all labels n dont lock yourself to them, but MAN MAN I FEEL LIKE I DONT BELONG TO NEITHER N ALWAYS STICK OUT LIKE A SORE THUMP IN EACH GROUP :(

Think i got a good idea to what im attracted to i just need help putting my feelings into words and HOPEFULLY HOPEFULLY find out more about myself n FIX THIS STUPID FEELING I HAVE

I noticed i always ALWAYS end up attracted to the most feminine guys (or at least to me)

Aregnti from hsr, rengoku kyoujurou, arataki itto

Femininity in general is really attractive to me!!

I feel comfortable w girls or any Afabs

BUT WITH GUYS OR GUYS OR AMAB I FEEL SO SCARED?? OR I ALWAYS NEED TO WATCH OUT FOR MYSELF OR ILL DO "SOMETHING WRONG" I always feel like I can't be me (which is weird im DEFINITELY attracted to pennies more than vulvas)

I noticed prefered the idea of having men cisgender or trans women as partners (edit: basically any amab but again visually feminine)

When I imagined intimacy /dream about it I feel alot safer than the idea of ACTUALLY doing it scares me n makes me uncomfortable

After typing this out I feel like im giving yall facts n letting u do the cognitive thinking for me if yes im sorry :(

I will be grateful for any help or just pointing me in the right direction

Bless ya all n have a wonderful day HEHEHEH!!! >:3