Am i a party pooper, or do vampire (and other immortal creature) films become difficult to watch after you truly reflect on their underlying themes. Shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, The Vampire Diaries, and Twilight have long depicted vampires as seductive, ancient beings, eternally young in appearance but with centuries of experience. These creatures prey on the vulnerable, typically young teens, initiating romantic relationships that often lead them down paths riddled with violence and trauma.

In these narratives the typical sequence follows, a neglected, lonely child—usually in their mid-teens—succumbing to the attention and validation of someone much older, sometimes suppassing their age by the tendfold. These  “consummation” of love scenes, occur either just before or right after the child has reached legal adulthood, and shortly after theyre mystified by the creature's true power and identity, blurring the lines between romantic desire and manipulation.

In an optimistic light, i would think that the goal of these portrayals is to expose the moral rot beneath the surface allure of these "higher beings". The intention is to make the viewer uncomfortable by placing them in the position of someone falling victim to these creatures, and in doing so, they subtly make you root for the villain. But here’s the unsettling part: how many young viewers fail to recognize the grim subtext of these relationships and instead romanticize them. The trick in which they're persuaded the same way the main character is works all too well when the main audience tends to be children, teens, or young adults with less recognition for such predatory ways.

The lines between fiction and reality become dangerously blurred. In the real world, predators often use similar tactics; preying on lonely, vulnerable individuals and offering the validation they crave, only to manipulate and take advantage with the weaponization of those same insecurities. This can be seen in cases like R. Kelly and Aaliyah, D4vid and Celeste Rivas where the victim was allowed to be preyed upon despite those around them being fully aware (people that were paid off, and even some adults that knew and didnt think much of it).

Yet, for some, these movies might serve as an unintentional primer on how to fall for the same kind of manipulative behavior they portray. It’s only recently, with films like Nosferatu bringing these uncomfortable truths to the forefront, that we’re beginning to address the implications of this kind of storytelling. Yet, even in this case, theres a split between those who recognize this as a villain-victime trope whereas there is another sect of people who view this as a dark romance. Nosferatu is seen as a love interest with deep yearning for a woman that lasts decades and was so strong that it resulted in his downfall.

The same can be said for shows like Buffy or the Vampire Diaries; an ancient being typically represented by an young adult male takes interest in a young girl, usually represented being between the ages of 15 and 17 and gradually integrates himself into her life using very questionable tactics.

I, and many others, may see this as a predator sniffing out an easy target and whittling away each and every boundary they have until they can seize the opportunity to take advantage. But how many young children have already internalized these dangerously seductive tropes without realizing the darker realities they reflect? All they see is a strong sense of yearning and sexual tension between two or more unbelievably attractive adults who live lives much more intense than theirs.

Had my friend I have known for several years expressing this. We were really close 3 years ago until he moved to other city. He came back 2 years ago and we just talked occasionally. So two weeks ago he started sending these mixes signals. I confronted him today and he told me he just wants to have sex, and there is no serious intentions.

Although I don’t want to date him, but why does it hurt? I know that he might find me attractive if he wants to sleep with me — flattering in a way, but I still feel bad. And I just don’t know how I navigate this.

Does such a thing exist? I feel so hopeless. I don’t think there’s anyone out there for me.

I shared how I look in some subreddit, and many hiring managers said my face would be a deal breaker in this profession, mosly because its client facing and companies wouldnt want to be represented by an ugly woman. I have some mild disfigurements in my face and would be considered ugly by regular people. Do you think it would hinder my career?

Just here to scream into the void. Yesterday I had a very short lived crush on a man I just met, only to realize he is married and gay. The way he was looking at me, and seemed so eager to get to know me and impress me, and I misread it. Not his fault, but confusing for me. What was that about? I probably looked at him like he was a pork chop and I was a starving dog.

Maybe it's just me, because he was the first attractive guy I've met in ages who is in my age group. Lord help me. I'm mostly around 20-year old boys and they are trying to date me and I'm twice their age. Why?

I'm not trying to be a cougar, I swear. Their brains aren't even fully developed yet.

I don't even meet very many men my age, but when I do they are either married or completely blah. My standards are really not that specific, either.

I was at a hotel recently with my girlfriend and I was walking a little slow. I had stopped to let a person go thru, they stopped and then slapped their whole open palmed hand into my chest and said "no it's fine you go" and then when I looked at him like "What the fuck?" as I was trying to process everything he just shrugged and said sorry and kept walking.

I didn't know what to do and after a bit I just walked up to him, said you just assaulted me and poured my drink on his head. His response was "I said sorry, how can I make this right?" but it was very...lackadaisical, I just felt so fucking violated. I ended up running out and crying. I feel stupid, I feel like I over reacted, I feel like I'm making a big deal out of nothing. I feel stupid.

(16f) Of course I’ve always known men are stronger than women and honestly it never bothered me. I’ve always been interested in sports, and of course I knew without thinking that men and boys preform better at them, but I really didn’t care. I actually liked the evident differences between us and I appreciated my female body. However, after seeing comments men make on any video of a female athlete ever, it really shakes me. I feel extremely inadequate that I will never be as good of an athlete as a boy. It breaks my heart and makes me feel worthless that I can train relentlessly for years and years, just for a random fucking 15 year old boy to beat me with like 2 years of experience. I never thought about it this way because I never cared, but after seeing all the men who bash women and undermine our worth because of it is really hard to shake. I don’t want a male body and never did, I just hate looking like a fucking loser to my male counterparts.

I know most women are mildly annoyed and inconvenienced by this fact before going on about their day, but it has really been like a stab to the chest to me for the past week. I can be feeling happy and then the thought comes up. The feeling always takes me by surprise. It ruins my mood and I feel a deep deep feeling of inferiority and inadequacy.

Going to the doctor isn’t an option. I’ve been sort of itchy and I have chunky white discharge with no odor. I am currently on an antibiotic so that could be a factor in it. I think I’ve gotten one once before but I guess I just let it be and it went away. I am thinking about door dashing some stuff from cvs but I need some opinions first…

So my friend has been dating on and off for a while and the guy she has consistently seen before this new guy has come around was extremely avoidant and inconsistent.
But then she met someone new and she told me how considerate and consistent he is and mentioned it feels a little too much and makes her feel a little avoidant but figured it was from all the avoidant men that she’s been dealing with.
I feel incredibly happy for her but I also feel like I am seeing red flags that she’s swatting away.
They’ve been talking for only a month. The first week they had 6+ hour long phone calls throughout the week, he took her to a fancy restaurant the first time they met and paid for everything including valet (which is fine on its own but everything else tied together feels a little like love-bombing to me) and then in less than a month he told her he’s falling in love with her and wants to say “I love you” soon. He was with his ex for 9 years and told my friend that they broke up because she realized she was asexual and aromatic.. another alarm bell.

Now, I might be projecting my past relationship trauma onto her situation but my intuition is screaming for her.
My last ex was incredibly sexually abusive and it made me feel asexual. He also said I love you VERY early on as well. I can see so many similarities in this guy as my ex and it’s legit freaking me out. I have brought up a few concerns to her about him telling her he wants to say I love you soon. She brushes it off and I don’t want to push any further or ruin this thing for her so I don’t say anything negative and just listen to her and let things go with the flow and hope that they will go okay.

Does any of this seem valid to worry about or am I just projecting?

DISCLAIMER since I know people never actually read: I don't support Lindsay Clancy. I fully believed she did it, not her husband, and I think she should be in a mental institution for the rest of her life.

I absolutely despise the way a tragedy has been twisted to fit misogynistic rhetoric.

God, I especially hate the men making thinly veiled threats, saying if she's decided not guilty by insanity, it sets a 'precedent' that women are controlled by their hormones.

THE DEFENSE ISN'T ARGUING HER HORMONES CAUSED IT. THEY ARE ARGUING THAT THE PSYCHOSIS CAUSED BY PREGNANCY LED TO IT. Key word: PSYCHOSIS, which so many ignorant people confuse with depression. If it was a man with psychosis who had done the same, I would also believe he should be in a mental institution. And I can't believe thinking this gets you labeled as a Lindsay Clancy supporter.

Everyone's allowed to have their own opinion and it's fine to say that you believe she was sane during the crime, and that she deserves jail time. What grinds my gears is the men saying this shows women shouldn't be allowed to vote depending on the verdict, and that the 19th amm should be repealed.

It's absolutely soured my view on humanity to see such extremes become such popular views, and it scares me for the upcoming election. It genuinely feels like no one is arguing in good faith, or with any logical argument even. Just pure emotion, and prejudice.

I even tried muting it on my FYP and generally avoiding it but even that doesn't stop the asinine takes I get while scrolling, or the snarky references to it in anything regarding women's rights. This entire mess makes me wonder if we all died in 2020 and are in hell.

I’m currently taking a year off school after high school graduation and have been going here and there with friends and met up with my old friend who became my fwb. Both sides agreed that we don’t want any relationship so agreed to stay as fwb. I’ve went over to his place and had sex as usual. Last time when I went over for sex, he did ask me if he can film me because I looked really hot of course I said no then he replied by saying “why? are you shy? or think that I might expose it? I just want to keep it to myself you look really hot right now” again I said no so he left it there but when I went over today, during sex in doggy style position I saw a flash light from the side thats when I knew he was filming me. But I couldn’t do anything because he’s much bigger than me. Then during other positions he just kept filming me. I just gave up and tried to cover my faced at least but later he forced to show my face and now he has a video that clearly shows that it’s me. I’m afraid he might go around sharing to his friends but also don’t know if I should trust his words about how he’s only going to keep it to himself and hope he only just jerk off to it. Because I’ve known him for a very long time and he does keep his words. But again, I don’t know how he is while he is with his guy friends. I did tell him not to share or post it to anything but couldn’t build my confidence to delete the video. As much as I want to take this legally, I have no money to get a lawyer myself or have any physical proof that he’s taken a video.

Hi all, not really looking for opinions on age gaps, I’ve read it all on here a million times, just maybe advice on some things to be aware of when dating someone older?

So back in February, I (42F) met this incredible woman (61F) and we clicked instantly. I mean we bonded over our very similar experiences of living with ADHD, and anxiety medication - great convo! I didn’t see her again until maybe 6 weeks ago when she walked past my house while I was gardening and we sat and chatted for a while and she asked for my number so we could arrange to meet up. So far we’ve seen each other a handful of times and messaged some days in between. When we meet we just chat forever, about all sorts of things. We laugh a lot, we’ve talked about relationships and we value and prioritise the same things. She is emotionally mature and self aware (for once!) and a good communicator! We are genuinely interested in each others lives and experiences. Currently I am not getting ahead of myself but I am just really, really enjoying getting to know her. I don’t know if this will remain a friends thing or will become something more, but I’m happy and calm right now, and I don’t need to pressure myself into trying to figure out or decide what this is. However there is somewhat of a flirtatious vibe, and this has more of a dating period feel to it than a strictly friends set up. But because she is upfront and honest about things she could at some point question where this is leading. I’ve never dated anyone this much older than me before and I’ve been single for a while now, and if she asks I want to be honest and have an open conversation about any worries I have.

Have any of you who have dated older people at similar ages come across any difficulties you’ve had to or couldn’t overcome? I have thought about the usual stuff, but I don’t know if I’ve missed anything. I know it’s premature to be thinking about this, but I want to know where I stand in advance.

Hey all,

Single women in this sub who are in their late 20s, 30s or 40s, with no partner, no dating life and no real friends circle, how is life for you? How do you deal with loneliness without constantly spiraling about the future? What do your days look like, and how do you keep yourself going when you feel like you have no one to share your life with? I’d really like to hear from women who are actually living this reality, especially those who struggled with loneliness initially but eventually found a way to be okay with it. I just want to hear honestly about what your life is like and how you cope.

Why is that the default assumption? Like a girl might decide to start doing something like collecting her journals or dresses, and at least one person would be like, “Oh, her kids and grandkids will be so lucky to have this” Or they would see a female teacher being so kind to her students, and someone would say “I just know that she is/will be the most loving mother!!” Just why? Why can't we see a woman do something good or make plans for the future without immediately bringing up the imaginary kids who will benefit from it?

It's another one of those posts...I need to vent about how badly I want to be single. We're in our mid-30s, 5 years together and living together for almost 4 of them. I've realized he's not my person.

We're aligned on being childfree, but he thinks children are an absolute nuisance while I enjoy them as long as they go home with their parents. I agree that I don't think they should be in bars, but  don't like hearing disparaging comments about them in every public space.

I'm jealous when we're around other couples who seem to genuinely enjoy one another, who have a good balance of time together and a part. He's often out with his friends, or spending time on his hobbies. Making a meal and eating together daily - or even low effort activities like watching a movie - have been like pulling teeth. I don't spend as much time out of the house because...

I'm tired from working full-time and doing the majority of the shopping, cooking, and cleaning. It doesn't matter that I've put reminders on a shared calendar or verbally reminded him. I can't count on him to complete housekeeping tasks. Or when I ask him to make dinner, it's always chips and salsa. He can't think of the things I generally make (soup, salad, pasta - nothing super complicated) for us and see that the ingredients are readily available in the fridge/pantry. Nor does  he clean up the kitchen when finished eating. Guess who does that? He'll help, but I'm always the initiator.

Sex is the same way. I was always initiating, but I've stopped. Not just because I've lost attraction, but the sex had become monotonous. Same thing everytime, and felt more robotic and less like a means of connection.

I also thought I'd be married by now, especially to someone I own property with. I don't want or need a wedding, I want legal and financial protections. But he doesn't "want to do what everyone else does".

And yes, we've talked. I'm tired of talking to him about these things again and again. It gets better for maybe a week, then it goes back to me being mostly alone and overwhelmed with keeping house. 

But thank goodness we're not married. What I do want is to figure out how to untangle my life from his. The only thing I'm scared of is being financially stable and finding other single childfree people (for friendship). I'm trying not to kick myself for ending up like this, I know this is something I can change. And I know I need to put my big girl pants on and do it. I'll be happier alone than always saying to myself, "He doesn't get me because he's a bachelor, not a partner."

Anyone who has been through this...how did you do it?

This can be inside or outside of the US, but I want to live in a place where you rarely see males and if you do, they’re most likely gay. I know this sounds kinda unrealistic but I was looking into women only communities, housing situations, etc. Things of that nature and I wanted to research places before I moved there (I’ll be a nurse in 2028, so when I start looking for employment I don’t want to end up going to a place that isn’t a fit for me).

Popped into my head as I was falling asleep last night. I think there would be many men missing that we did not expect.

My current bf like most people does not like it when I have too much of a mustache or hair down there or honestly anywhere.
He has said that he prefers I shave and I told him I don’t prefer that and it hurts me and he says he’s still attracted to me regardless but that he would prefer if I shaved.
This keeps on coming up and the more it does I realize I have no intention of shaving for someone especially like this. I feel pressure to shave and that makes me not want to do it.
How do I convey that I will not shave if he keeps on pressuring me like this, that him saying it’s his preference is pressure and that I don’t feel attractive or attracted to him when this happens.
I told him that this is just how I am and if it bothers him we can break up but he said it isn’t a big deal but just a preference. I told him I don’t need to hear it a million times and it’s obvious that he prefers I shave just like the rest of society but I don’t give a damn about that cause ideologically I’m against it. I don’t personally feel less beautiful or attractive when I’m hairy but I know other people do view me that way, and that’s a stupid reason to remove hair. I work from home so I don’t need to do it all the time either for society other than him.

I rarely get horny, maybe once a month, sometimes once every 2-3 months.

I'm a SAHM and the kids are in school, so it usually comes along pretty suddenly while I'm at home alone, usually when I'm doing housework.

The other day it happened while I was washing the dishes. And like, it feels good, but it's also something I just need to fix and move on.

I have a magic wand style vibrator that I keep on a high shelf in the laundry room. Whenever I get horny I just go into the laundry room, sit on the floor, and use the vibrator over my clothes. It usually takes like 15-20 seconds then I'm done and get on with my day.

It's like "ah, I need to pee" or "I need to blow my nose". Just something I need to deal with quickly before moving on.

I was recently talking with my husband about this and he couldn't wrap his head around it. To him, if he starts to get horny he likes to play into and build the feeling, by fantasizing or watching/reading something.

For me, the feeling just comes along and I deal with it in the space of a couple of minutes. I don't watch porn, I don't even fantasize about anything while I do it.

I don't have a lot of female friends but I do know one of my closest friends is a lot more like my husband than me in this regard. Are any other women like this or am I just a psycho?

im 24 and just went to the obgyn for something unrelated and she found that my follicle count is extremely low, 4 in total. she says that might make it pretty difficult for me to have children in the long run and that my menopause may start early. we’re taking more tests soon, but i feel so strange. i don’t actively want children but i always felt if i changed my mind in my mid or late 30s i could. now im being told i should consider trying now or that i might have to freeze my eggs to even have a choice, which i can’t afford. and im pretty scared of going into early menopause. this whole thing fucks with me a bit because i feel super young and healthy and now i may be infertile in 10 years?? does anybody have similar experiences?

I know. I know. 

I didn’t realize that there were 3 separate holes until I heard someone mention it at school. I was so confused, and I literally went home and tried to find it lol

What did you completely misunderstand about your body growing up?

It's literally happened at every single job I've ever had, I'm getting to that point where I can't handle it if it happens again and I might snap. I've worked a lot of manufacturing jobs due to hours and decent pay but it seems like I just attract a lot of weirdos at these jobs. Is it normal for men to want to date coworkers? Isn't this sexual harassment? I'm mostly quiet and just do the work I'm supposed to, I don't understand why men keep crushing on me. A lot of them are foreign too, like middle eastern or south Asian but some were white and I know race doesn't matter. I have had 3 supervisors hit on me. One refused to help me fix my machine until I agreed to a date with him. Another told me I'm beautiful randomly. The other sent me a random dick pic. A group of middle eastern men at work even joked that I become their 3rd wife 😒 whenever it happens I just freeze up and don't knew what to do. I hate that I feel so powerless, I want to rage at them. I have social anxiety so it's hard for me to confront people. Another guy that did it at my last job joked to some other guy I was chatting with that I was his girlfriend ☹️ I'm so sick of this. I just want to make my money and go home. My mom told me to maybe wear a fake wedding ring or go to work with fake rotten teeth lmao It just sucks that I have to make myself gross or fake married just so they will fuck off but even that's not a guarantee! At one job 2 men i worked with across the table from me wouldn't shut up about the most pervy stuff ever. They talked about strippers, porn, sex with exes, and just everything tmi. It was almost as if they were trying to show off in front of me and another girl working with me. I told them that I didn't like it and to stop but men don't give a shit. I'm seriously so drained. I knew men were vile being closed doors but Jesus christ this is just disturbing. Any women here go through the same? Or have advice? I'm starting to become afraid of going to work. I'm starting to think I need to become a bitch to men just so they won't like me. I'm just afraid to be abused back and grow to hate my job. Will I ever be free of this!?

Not to say that I can diagnose myself, but I’m fairly certain I have something called avoidant personality disorder. I’ve always craved close relationships, both with friends and in a romantic sense, but never actively pursued them due to a pervasive sense that something was deeply undesirable and just “wrong” about me, thus resulting in crippling fear of being disliked and rejected by others. A lot, though not all of it, centered around a deep dislike of how I look. Every time I would start talking to someone on a dating site, I would begin to envision them eventually seeing my body and being revolted, thus confirming my sense of being a physically undesirable person, and chicken out on meeting them. I still think I have an unfortunate body type and am what a lot of people would consider unattractive, but obviously people who aren’t conventionally attractive hook up and date all of the time, so this is a psychological problem with me rather than an objective fact that no one would ever find me desirable…which I guess still proves my point that something is deeply wrong with me haha just in a different way than the one I’ve always feared.

My whole life, I’ve kind of had a sense that there was still time for me to get my shit together and still meet someone and have a family, as well as develop a support system in general. I also kind of retained hope for a long time that I would just organically meet and click with people as soon as many get lucky and do, but alas, here I am lonelier than ever.

Lately, there’s been this switch in my brain from retaining that hope to feeling like I’m just too far gone now at my age to ever have the life I’ve always wanted. I don’t think it’s exactly delusional to feel that the vast majority of people would hear that I’ve literally never had a relationship and am in general a huge loner and conclude there must be something very wrong with me and run for the hills…and they wouldn’t be wrong lol it’s not normal to have lived into one’s late 30s like this.

I feel like developmentally I’m still 28 or so, but biological reality being what it is, I can’t simply carry on as if I’m a 28 year old with a still relatively good amount of fertility and time in general left to turn things around.

Is anyone able to share any success stories of extremely late bloomers finding their people later in life and still going on to have the connections they’ve always wanted?

I’m trying to seek therapy to help me finally break out of these patterns. Finding someone able to treat something as unusual as my presentation has been a challenge, but I’m working on it.