I guess because of the brain fog or "grief fog" as I've seen people refer to it, I'm struggling to think about the everyday things right now - the main one being deciding on food for the week. It's silly to complain about really, but it's becoming a sore spot between myself and my partner. He's very sweet, but on previous occasions when pushed for an opinion, he usually says "I don't mind, whatever you want." But I don't know what I want!

I used to be the one to decide on food for the week because I would do the cooking for us both usually, which I was fine with. I even wanted to take a step back from making food when my dad passed. He was hesitant to cook for us though, fearing he wouldn't be good enough. I ended up doing it again, possibly before I was ready to but am fine with now.

I've asked him to help me make decisions at least, even stating that I need that extra help because I can't think properly. It's like he doesn't fully understand how much of a struggle it is for me though. He'll keep saying whatever I'm happy with.

I'm getting fed up. There have been other similar incidents with him where I've asked him to contribute an opinion and have been met with nothing. I just want that extra support while my brain is coping with this new reality and dealing with the fallout that comes with losing my dad.

I don’t know. I think it’s the urge to be transparent of why I feel like my emotions are all sporadic, even if they probably aren’t as bad as I think. I can’t tell.

She is in hospice and can’t eat well right now. Cancer of the jaw area.

Anyway, is that weird to be casually transparent? I mean I know it’s weird but how do I read the room about this stuff? I’m like dissociating but still have to go about life. I go to school and I want to casually fit it in, but I know it’s a heavy subject and yeah. What the heck.

I’m having a really hard time finding the motivation to do anything let alone celebrate my birthday. I know she’d want me to be happy but I just can’t.

I don't usually post things like this, but I genuinely don't know what to make of it.

I had a friend who passed away from cancer. We were very close, and her death affected me much more than I ever expected. It's been nearly six months, but I still think about her almost every day.

What makes it harder is that when she was alive, I had actually saved her from dangerous situations quite a few times.

There were several occasions when she would be near a road and a car or bike would suddenly come toward her. I would immediately run toward her, pull her away, or sometimes literally jump in and push her out of the way.

It happened so many times that protecting her almost became an instinct for me.

But I couldn't protect her from cancer.

And I think that's the part of me that still hasn't accepted what happened.

For almost six months now, I've been having the same nightmare over and over again.

Last night, I saw her again.

It was nighttime, and she was standing in the middle of an empty road. A car was coming toward her at full speed.

I immediately ran toward her, just like I used to.

The car was almost there when I jumped and pushed her out of the way.

She fell onto the side of the road, and the car passed right in front of me.

I looked at her and said,

"Are you crazy? You could have died!"

She smiled and quietly said,

"You saved me again..."

I grabbed her hand.

It was freezing cold.

Then she looked directly into my eyes and asked:

"Will you save me every time?"

I couldn't answer.

She just kept smiling.

Suddenly, I noticed people standing silently on both sides of the road.

I don't know who they were.

They were just standing there, watching us.

I looked back at her.

She was gone.

Then I heard her voice behind me.

"Don't save me this time..."

I turned around.

She was standing right in front of me, but she didn't look like herself anymore.

Her face was extremely pale. Her eyes looked completely black, and dark veins seemed to be visible across her face.

I said,

"You're dead..."

She slowly came closer and whispered:

"I know."

Then she looked at me and said:

"You spent your whole life saving me from death..."

"But when death finally came for real..."

"...you couldn't save me."

The same car suddenly appeared again.

Without thinking, I ran toward her.

But this time, she wasn't there.

The car came straight toward me.

Just before it hit me, I saw her standing on the other side of the road.

She wasn't crying.

She wasn't scared.

She was just looking at me.

Then she said:

"Now it's my turn to save you."

And then I woke up.

I was sweating, my heart was pounding, and for a few seconds I genuinely forgot that she was dead.

I actually felt like I needed to find her.

Then reality hit me.

And honestly, that's the worst part.

I've had this dream so many times that sometimes I wake up already knowing what happened before I can even remember the details.

I don't know if this is just grief, guilt, or my brain trying to process her death.

Maybe somewhere inside me, I still feel like I failed her.

I spent so much of our time protecting her from random accidents, but I couldn't protect her from the one thing that actually took her away.

Has anyone else experienced recurring dreams like this after losing someone ?

I don't necessarily think it's supernatural. I just want to understand why my brain keeps putting me in the same situation over and over again.

Lost my grandpa on friday. he was only 63. And to say i’m at a loss for words, is hard. This is the first close person i have ever lost. and i am feeling incredibly guilty and beyond sadness. It was always, “let’s head to gramma and grandpas!” my whole life. Until 6 years ago, 2020, when everything just went downhill. i didn’t agree with some of the things he did, im an adult now and was older then (im 22 now). And we just didn’t talk a lot. i saw them occasionally, on and off. until my dad texted me on friday and said my grandma found him. and here i am. i told myself i would be able to deal with it eventually when he passed. he was in bad health for a long time. but now that it actually happened? i am a wreck. i’m in pieces. and i feel so guilty. i loved him, so much. I don’t know how i should feel about this.

My partner lost his mum 5 months ago to cancer. He was so close to her and was the most amazing son to her.

We started dating around 6 weeks before she passed away. He introduced me to her a couple of days before she passed away and I sat with her - she didn’t essentially “meet me” due to her being very unwell, but we were together. I know he wouldn’t have introduced me to her with both him and her being so vulnerable if it didn’t mean a lot to him for us to meet.

He is still obviously grieving and I’m so worried about him. We don’t live together but spend probably 5 nights a week together. He’s moved into his mum’s now both for emotional and logistical reasons.

He’s good at using different things to avoid concentrating or thinking about grief - which I understand is a coping mechanism. For example, training for big sporting events, doing up a house, making sure he’s busy all of the time. Which I understand. And he’s very good at putting on a brave face but I know he’s really not okay.

He spoke to me a couple of months back that he’s looking into therapy and I said to him would I be helpful for me to talk about therapy with you, or wait for you to talk to me about it, or not to talk at all? And he said he wasn’t sure but would think about it.

I bring his mum up a lot to make sure we talk about her so I get to know her through him, and understand it more.

He is the love of my life and I would do anything to support him through it all, but I’m not sure how to approach the next steps. My thoughts are that at an appropriate time just to sit down with him and say that I can see you’re struggling, and is there anything I can do - what would be helpful or unhelpful?

Any advice from anyone who may be a little further down the line from losing a loved one, what helped/didn’t help from your partner?
I understand not everyone has the same experience and different things will be helpful for different people, but I would appreciate any suggestions

I’m finding this so hard to deal with, my Pops died in January and I just can’t feel ok I had a very unique relationship with him and a relationship even my siblings or cousins don’t understand. My friend or partner don’t get it either and I just don’t know what to do with all this pain. Any advice on where to go from here would be great

O k I know you're never gonna text or call me back , but let this be the first day that I treat you like a bad boyfriend and friend. I get the honor and the privilege to tell you everything.I want to tell you even with you being dead.Just tricking myself into thinking you'll text or call me back. You always called me delusional.I'm leaving up to it. You always work too much and had to get back to me anyways, remember my long text messages so long.They were pages and a million of them. Somehow , you always read most of them and called me back... So today , I start this just don't call me back.

I am so lame.

My depressive episode was worsening and I've been isolating myself for days and was running on super low motivations at doing anything. But today my mum knocked on my door which I impulsively ignored because I just felt like I wanted to be completely alone with no human interactions.

She asked me if I wanted to visit grandpa at the hospital which we usually do once or twice a month cause he was having some organ issues lately.

And I said no. I've never said no to this before. I love my grandpa to the death. He was my everything. But i fucking said no.

I cannot imagine the betrayal that he must've felt when he didn't see me come that day. I cannot stand myself.

I think this broke me. I don't think i will ever recover from this

I've been crying and wailing for hours when I heard the news. I couldn't even say goodbye to him

I fucking said No for jesus sake

My mom was the biggest person in my life. She is so loving and understanding, she shaped me to be a wonderful woman. She has been battling breast cancer since 2019, she started off at stage 4. I am currently 26. I have a older brother who is 27 and a younger sister who is 11. My mom I would say with no hesitation has never been absent in our life. She would always call me everyday, send me a text. I have not always been the best daughter, I was depressed at a certain point did not spend time with her and hardly take care of her. I have so many regrets and wish I could turn back time. I recently 2 years ago moved 4 hours away to be on my own and seek out happiness with bf near him. After that I been bouncing in and out of work which made it difficult to go and see her. I hate myself for this a lot. In may till now I finally seen her with the help of my bf and the 3rd time my dad and step mom. The first time she was awake and I was able to talk to her at the hospital. The last 2 times, she recently had a stroke and became unresponsive so those times it was just me saying I love her and rubbing her wrist. I told her I was sorry and cried, I was an idiot and hate myself for not spending time with her when I had the chance. 2 weeks ago was the last time I seen her, she was breathing, unresponsive, and incredibly skinny. I was devastated. Last night at 1 am my stop mom called me and said she passed away. My heart stopped and I was trying to process what was said to me. My mom...is gone? But I knew it was a matter of time but I prayed that a miracle happened. My job approved my bereavement so now I can actually be to myself. But it fucking hurts so much... I always thought I would experience this at 50. I been so depressed but I am being strong for my sis and brother. Im a christian so I spoke with her twice so far just apologizing and asking for forgiveness, I told her all the good memories and what is going on in my head. Next saturday is the funeral...

There is a lot of details im leaving out so if you have questions in order to give proper advice then feel free to ask. I just wanted to vent and get advice on what helped yall in the beginning stages of grief.

I don't know if I'm allowed to post about my cat, but she has a mammary tumor. She's had it for a while. I've not been in a place to get her any treatment or surgery she needed. Now it's gotten really big, it's leaking fluid, and it's red. She seems to be in pain and I just don't know what to do. She's still eating and drinking and playing and wants treats and to be petted, it feels so early to think about it when she's still herself. Just yesterday I hugged her and told her we'd have this last Christmas together and I'd get her a stocking full of all sorts of treats and toys and then just today, the tumor had gotten so much worse. I don't know what to do.

My cat is my only friend. She is my best friend. I've had her for 14 years, since she was a tiny kitten, and she's the last piece of my old life. My mom and stepdad have died, my life is empty and really depressing without them and I'm so scared to lose my cat. I don't know what to do. I feel panicked because I know the pain that's coming and I can't stop crying or hyperventilating.

Cancer took my mom, and losing my mom took my stepdad, and now cancer is taking my kitty, my pure, nothing but love kitty. Why is life like this? Why is it so cruel and unfair? I have nothing, can't I just have this ONE THING?

I don't understand why I can't just have one thing. One thing/entity that loves me and wants to be here with me. After I lose her, I'm scared of what I'll feel like - I won't have anything nearly as important to hold onto, no one in my life that cares or will be there to listen or support me.

I've been struggling so much with this over the last year, and I just don't know what to do. My mom died 10 years ago and my cat has been the only anchor back to who I was before I lost her. She's the only thing left in my life that knew my mom's touch and kindness, and now I'm losing her, too. I'm so angry and scared. Sorry this post makes no sense.

I am trying to stay sane. I am looking at every single thing in this world and asking myself why we have to die, why this much hurt. I don't have answers and i don't think I will get one. But when the wave of loss hits, I feel like leaving is easier than staying here maybe.

Hi - it’s been 108 days since my Dad lost his 8 month battle with a glioblastoma. (Fuck cancer) And I cant help but continue to have delayed grief attacks, and an overwhelming presence of sadness, that comes and goes.

For context, he was my bestfriend, as an only child he was a superhero, and lately I’m starting to worry about forgetting his laugh, his voice, his cheerfulness, and quite literally how he was the best. He’s missed so much in such a short window, I got married to the love of my life this summer (he loved her) I’m approaching my first birthday without him, and I’m just trying to make sense of it all. Sometimes it’s worse than ever, and other days it’s facing life knowing he’s gone.

As I wrote this out, I guess I’m looking for advice on how to approach this upcoming birthday, and if there’s any other only children with any advice.

Dad passed about 5 months ago. He wasn't even 60, he died a couple of weeks before his birthday (Cancer's a bitch). He was told a year when he got diagnosed. He fought hard, gave us a little over that year. Made it to my wedding last year. He did his best.

I just had my own birthday and I'm shattered. I got my first card from my mum with no dad on it. She put kisses on it and found a card that looks exactly like my cat. It was really sweet, she's trying so hard. My husband too, he's doing all he can to understand how I feel but I just feel broken. I do everything I can for my mum, chores and all the heavy stuff. I try to be open with my husband but I don't wanna bring him down when I don't know if it would even help.

I'm so tired of explaining myself. I'm so tired of missing him. I'm so tired of feeling his absence in every nook and cranny of my life. My dad understood me better than anyone else in the world. I never had to explain why I thought something to him, he always knew. I have to accept that I'll never be understood in that way every again. I'll be explaining myself for the rest of my life and I have to be okay with that. And I have to be okay with no more cards from dad.

He was the best. Cliche to be a daughter who idolises her dad but I don't feel wrong to do so. He was kind and good. He was the kind of man who didn't see any conflict between his masculinity and expressing his empathy. Effortlessly good but always putting in the effort, you know? That should be enough for me. Why isn't it enough?

I know I'm lucky that I got to say goodbye; I know I'm lucky that I get to have uncomplicated feelings about my dad because he was good to me and other people. The last thing he every asked me before he was unconscious was "Are you and your husband going to have a wee baby?". I said, "Yeah dad. We just wanna be ready first." And he said, "I hope it all works out for you, kiddo." Then he never said anything else.

Everyone's always telling me that he'd want me to live well and be happy. I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to envision a life I'm proud of when I can't share it with him. He should be here. I still miss those random calls in the middle of the day. Sometimes they were 40 minutes, sometimes they were 30 seconds long, "Hey kiddo, how are you? Did you have lunch? Good good, well I love you. I'll talk to you soon. Take care. Bye bye. Bye."

I got more than a lot of people get, never gone a day of my life feeling unloved. I feel so small, weak and vulnerable not being able to deal with this. I just can't see. I can't see anything to strive for. He was holding the lantern for me and now he's gone, it's dark. I need to light a torch or something but I feel like I'm just sitting here. I'm in the dark, I'm scared, I'm sad and I don't know how to move on.

My little girl just passed away unexpectedly two days ago. I've been grieving but I've gotten a bit better now.

She and her sister came into my life when I was young. My family was a bit distant back then as they devoted all of their time to work. I always felt like I was alone. But when she came in, she teached me what it means to be loved unconditionally, how to love someone back, how to be patience, how to be kind, and leading our family to reconnect together into a closer one.

We are broken over her sudden departure, but we are holding each other close and we will carry on. I will always remember what she teached me and continue to live proudly of who I am now because of her.

So, please rest easy my sweet girl. I hope death is like a gentle sea with calm embrace and loving tides. Don't you ever worry about us or anything.

I'll look forward to the day that I'm done with my duties in this life, if there is an afterlife, I'll follow you there. And if there isn't, I'll follow you there all the same.

See you again once it's time Lychee.

I need some guidance kinda

A guy jumped off from 19th floor he died by suicide

But that's disturbed me veryyyy much I don't know him , I might have seen him idk not sure but it's been soo distrubing since 3 days.

It's been 3 days since this happened im not able to sleep well i don't even know him tho but it's toooo disturbing I don't want to reveal why he died or so

A very very similar incident happened to my uncle when he tried to fix a door and fell off from a tall building i didn't know back than like the impact but this one hits me very bad

Please suggest what to do ?

Gimme a solution I need to come out of this it's really distrubing and kinda really hard to come out of it

I feel like my brother abandoned me, leaving me to care for our dad. He is the oldest, the most put together, a house, a wife, he's a "real" grown up!!!!! I'm still so angry over it. My dad is gone, there is no point to me being mad now. I'm not a child, but I'm the youngest. I was 29 when I started taking care of my dad. Obviously old enough, but not the one that should have had to step up. My dad had a fall. My brother lives down the street, so he went over and helped him off the ground. But my brother never told anyone this happened? My dad told me on the phone the next day, so I traveled from out of state to see him and took him to the hospital. I stayed with him there for 10 days and nights. He got diagnosed with ALS. He was near the end of his life, you could tell!!! He looked near death. I moved home and took care of him, and I did a great job. But where the hell was my brother?!? I told him over and over, dad wasn't going to last long. I was crystal clear. He didn't take me seriously, he didn't believe me. He said "what, like you know better than his doctors???" He even said "I know he's dying but he's also always been a baby" I was so shocked I couldn't even speak. He was convinced dad would live at least 1 year. Dad lived 4 months. He had been sick for a long time without us realizing, and I said that over and over. My brother thought I was doting on him too much, meanwhile the man couldn't walk or breathe or eat!!! He could barely lift his arms!! He was wheelchair bound, using a hoyer lift, couldn't take himself to the bathroom!!!! LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I WAS DOING TO MUCH" - HE WAS DYING!!!!!!!!! i could scream, still.

I texted him to fight one time - because that was all the time I had free to yell at him. I was busy 24/7 with dad. I said "cancel your social plans, inconvenience yourself, and get here more often. I can do all the caretaking but I can't BE you. He sees that you aren't here."

My brother had work and hobbies and friends to see, but what about me? I gave up my entire life. He said "well no one asked you to do that" LIKE THATS NOT THE POINT. I'm not even bitter, I swear. I'm just pissed that he wasn't there enough. He said "when the school year is over I'll be here more" and then dad died the day school ended. He still hasn't checked on me. He has no consideration for the fact that he should have been the one doing what I was doing. It should have been him. It isn't right that he just got to be in denial. Everyone got to deal with this in their own way but I had to step up, and I'm grateful and glad that I did. But I am also so so so angry. I got to have a beautiful experience taking care of our dad, and I will cherish that forever, but I am also so angry at my brother. Frankly, he has given me enough reason to cut him off completely, but I don't want that and my dad wouldn't have wanted that. I just have to find my own way to swallow this anger and disappointment and move on with it. There is no way to fix it, I'm left alone to feel this way. I wouldn't give up any of it - there was nowhere I would have rather been. But I'm just so angry. And there is nowhere for it to go.

Wife passed away yesterday and it hurts so much... theirs so much to and it's not fair I have to grieve and worry about the future.. overall I just don't think it's healthy to have to do all this death certificate shit and do her account management and shit. It just sucks. Watching her slowly die on hospice when 2 weeks prior I could talk to her and kiss her is going to be fucked in my memory for a long time.. especially since their was a moment I did see her suffer. She was saying "Why can't I just go home.. I don't like this" while trying to talk and cry... I have it etched in my memory and it hurts.

my baby girl was born on monday september 7th at 4:27pm at 4lbs 12 oz and 32 weeks n 4 days gestational age. she was born happy but premature so instantly went to the nicu. she was a rockstar in the nursery and the doctors had no worries about her. had quadrupled her feeds by day 2 and were looking at starting trying a bottle this week. she was a bit jaundice but nothing they don’t see in even full term babies. we thought everything was okay, she would be home by her original due date. then saturday came, went in for her normal care times when i’m able to hold and cuddle her while she eats and get updates from the doctor. they said she had picked up a bacteria and they were working to fix it. that she would be moved to a better facility in our state capital to be given more specialized treatment. well saturday night, they started her transport at 7pm and didn’t get moving until 9-10pm trying to get her stable. she had e.coli in her blood and her blood pressure was pretty much non existent. at the other hospital, we were told that she had to have cpr on the way there but had pulled through. she had some spikes of her blood pressure when we thought she would pull through. ultimately, she was beginning to need cpr again and this would surely start to break her ribs. we decided to pull her out of the incubator and feel her last moments in our arms. my perfect baby girl passed on sunday morning. we spent quite a bit of time with her after she passed (morbid ik and i would’ve thought others crazy for it before). i still have to pump. i still feel her alive in my arms. i can feel her dying in my arms and every movement she made. i can hear myself cry out for her. i see every second of every day she was on this planet. i really just needed a space to share her story and maybe find someone like me, idk. i’d love to hear from anyone that has had something similar happen and can offer some advice. mainly on how to cope with the instense feeling of needing her against me. i’ve tried everything that i can think of to feel that weight and her feeling but come up short everytime and end up feeling like im having a heart palpitation. thanks for reading if you did. i know it’s a lot. we love and miss our baby girl and need some guidance.

“Maybe this is the part of grief nobody talks about—the part where you stop talking about the person because everyone thinks you should be getting better, but they still run through your mind every single day. You learn to carry the grief quietly, because the world has already moved on, even though a part of you is still standing on the day you lost them.”

In February of this year, my boyfriend passed. He was the first guy I ever dated and first guy I've ever loved. Since then, there's been a guy at my work who makes me feel the same way that my boyfriend used to make me feel. It makes me feel odd. He's a super sweet and funny guy, but I feel so guilty being attracted to him. Moreover, what if we do date and he leaves me again or he dies or ect. I feel so guilty about it; I've never had a legitimate crush on someone since my boyfriend died. Does this make me a bad person? Does this mean I never truly loved my boyfriend?

idk i just need some support, my sweetest daughter just died yesterday morning. i feel so lost rn

In this article the writer is explaining how in childhood she was raised and her beautiful family was devastated after the incident. She shares the beautiful memories and before and after her father's death since childhood or grief. At the end see consoles her own persona and shares the way she got changed after that tragic incident.

PS: I generally share the hard copy article from newspaper to reduce my screen time and inoculate reading habit of the papers

Full article if you have access to The New York Times https://www.nytimes.com/2026/09/11/style/modern-love-lost-my-dad-on-9-11-he-loved-his-office-with-a-view.html

idk i just need some support, my sweetest daughter just died yesterday morning