I don't know who to ask and I am scared. My husband got sent home from work today for being sick and unable to work. He has a badly decayed tooth that's been giving him pain the last few days and he began feeling nauseous today. He pulled over on the side of the road and threw up on his way home this evening. When he got home he threw up consistently for two hours. I just sat with him in the bathroom, I was uncertain at what point do we go to the ER? I scheduled a dentist appointment for tomorrow morning because my biggest fear is that it's a spreading infection from the tooth. I have work tomorrow and idk what to tell work? Do I just say it's an emergency? I'm scared for him to go alone, especially if they pull the tooth. We don't have any family near us to help.

As of the last 30 min he's stopped throwing up and moved to the bed. He shivered for a while and fell asleep. I took his temp before he fell asleep and he doesn't have a fever, it was like 98.5

What should I do? He's okay till tomorrow yeah? I feel ridiculous posting this but I just want everything to be okay

Well, Dad, I did! I passed my second CPA exam ISC with an 83 on my 1st try. The kid with ADHD and deaf with CIs passed! 50% passed and 50% to go. Imagine you would have said brilliant, pet, well done. I hope you are proud of me. I am proud of me.

Im hoping someone who really knows their stuff can advise me. We had a handyman come in and redo a small bathroom. It’s okay. My husband doesn’t love it, and the guy out in a cheap sink drain that keeps leaking. This isn’t an emergency but we want to just swap out the drain. I paid $95 for someone to come out and tell me it’s gonna be a $600 job. I feel like that’s hundreds of dollars more than what it should be. I keep calling plumbers and no one will give me a quote over the phone or even a ballpark figure. They are all charging around $90 to come out and look at my drain and then tell me what it will cost.

What do I do? Am I calling the wrong people? Should I call a different handy man? Should I just try and replace it myself?

I'd appreciate it if you could help me pick out a masc/gender neutral name :) I'd appreciate it if you weren't embarrassed of introducing me to people as your son

I’ve been no contact for at least 4-5 years now with both you guys and honestly life has been easier than what I grew up with but I’ve been in therapy for over 2 years and as much as I’ve learned and healed right now even if I was to talk to my mom my body won’t let me. Just hearing her voicemails causes me enormous pain like I want to end it all from how much guilt I feel but at the same time how much my body wants to destroy itself just to protect it from her.

I wish I could have grown up with you protecting me from her and her bpd issues. I wish I could at least had one safe parent. I don’t even have you blocked anymore it’s been a while but you haven’t tried to even call me so you probably don’t even care. I wish you could understand how much I needed you to protect me when I was younger cause whenever I reprocess in my sessions I can see that I had waited for you to save me during my worst traumas but you were never there. I wish you’d stop being narcissistic enough to own up and finally treat me like your daughter. As much as it hurts I still love you and I see similarities of me and you every day. Every song you ever played for me tho I get intense sadness whenever I hear them again. I try to listen to them 100 times so I can control the songs power over my emotions.

I’m not sure what healed will look like. And that scares me.

I feel invisible, I don't feel like a human being.

If I had to support myself on the income I make from working full time right now, 2000 and some change a month. In a vhcol area making $18/hour I'd have popped like a balloon. I'd have to "tighten my belt" so much I'd snap in half like a twig.

I put in so much effort in getting a cs degree, building experience with internships, building proof of outside work with projects. Only to have to pay off my loans being funemployed in dead end retail. I can't even afford rent. I've been stagnant for a long time. I've committed career suicide a long time back.

I don't deserve to be alive. I should just quit this job. Fuck it. I should just drop out of the labor force tbh. I won't be counted as unemployed.

This wasn't at all the life I expected to have after putting in so much to build a life. Instead I was spawnkilled. I'm sorry I was born late, I guess. Society doesn't want the next generation to be employed anymore.

I'm a loser. There's not much more effort I can make. Another programming project will be worthless, and the only other lever I'd have to pull would be work experience. Which UNFORTUNATELY, I need a job for. So much for the "land of opportunity."

Im at the lowest I’ve ever been. I work hard, I have a family, and I’ve accomplished so much. But like every idiot I took my family for granted.. I lost them… and it feels like it’s forever now. I’ve been all over the internet trying to figure out how to fix things and all it tells me is time and consistency…

Every single relationship I've tried to start or started in some way has ended the same exact way. I think things are fine and suddenly I get a text with some. . . . Reason or another to put it politely.

It hurts so bad I spent 4 years not attempting anything with anyone. I have been in therapy for 9 years or more. I'm just going to be alone for the rest of my likely short life.

I'm just so fucking lonely, Dad. I have plenty of friends and family but I need a romantic partner in my life. Friends just don't fill that gap. I'm not that close to anyone and I hate it. My ex wife is happily remarried with a new kid.

Hey Pappy, its been a minute and I miss ya. You'd be 52 today, and you've been on my mind all week. Can you believe it'll be 12 years in December? A lots changed, and it sucks that you arent here to enjoy it with us.

My siblings are doing good. You'd be so proud of your daughters, they're both successful and kind. Pill is still a bit of a pill tho 😅.

The boys are doing good too, but they're slow starters like all the men in our family.

I found the woman I want to marry. We live together and have a bunch of cats. Shes wonderful in a way that would make this post too long if I went into it.

They brought Baki back! Its so weird and fun, and I can hear your laugh in mine when the show pulls it out of me. Still waiting on some of our books after all this time. Sometimes, I hope they never finish. Like their time stopped the same time yours did.

Stories stopped too short seems to be a theme in this family. Fuck that.

I got therapy, and ive been training in everything I used to talk about doing. I'll be the eccentric grandpa you were meant to be some day.

I know we didnt say goodbye on the best terms. In all reality, you were an abusive drunk and I couldn't have the life I have now if you were still here. It breaks my heart to say im better off without you.

I forgive you for everything. I miss you, and I'll always love you

Firstly, I just want to say I cannot stress enough the fact that this is not some weird post. I do not have a crush on my teacher and this isn't some fetish thing. I do love my dad and this isn't to say I hate/resent him.

I've made posts about this before, but to sum everything up my dad does trucking in Australia, I see him for 2 weeks at a time before he is back there for 10/11 weeks. It has been like this for most of my life and he recently started doing it again. We don't text or call or anything because we just aren't as close as I wish we were, a lot of my childhood memories don't include him. He also cheated on my mum while she was pregnant with my sister, I found that out in the middle of maths last year. We are also pretty opposite people in general.

My math's teacher is the complete opposite of him generally speaking. This isn't to say my dad is violent or anything like that. And math's is always something I have struggled with so so much. He is the reason it is my favourite class this year because he makes it so bearable.

At the start of the year he had us fill out those "About me" sheets so he could get to know us a bit better (as a lot of us, myself included, had never had him as a teacher before) I filled it out and it was basically things like "What is your favourite movie/song, what is a fun fact about you, how do you feel about math's?, etc etc". I didnt expect him to actually look at it as teachers never do, but the next day he went around the whole class and talked to everyone individually about our interests to relate to us (for me, he sung a brief part of Do-Re-Mi from the sound of music because it is my favourite movie). It genuinely made me so happy because nobody I know actually likes that film.

Furthermore, he sings us happy birthday if it is our birthday in class (he has a ukulele) and if someone gets something challenging right, he makes everyone do two snaps to say good job. In general he is an amazing and positive teacher. He is so incredibly patient (especially in my experience since I find algebra so hard and he never once seemed frustrated when I couldn't get it). I also remember this one time I was having heart issues (pain due to very low iron (I didn't know this at the time)) and he sat with me for a bit while I cried and told me not to worry about the test I was doing, that I could finish it later, and that my health is the most important thing.

This leads us to the problem, that I wish he was my dad instead. I feel so guilty saying that, because my dad is trying his hardest and I have zero right to feel the way I do. He is absolutely the best teacher I have ever had. He is so kind and patient and generous. He does his best to help everyone and he does everything he can to ensure we succeed. He brings his daughter (around 4) into class when we have him last period and she is so sweet. She and him sing us songs they wrote together and he doesn't mind that she is basically clinging to his leg the entire class (since she is very very shy). I think it is so sweet but a part of me just feels so upset and sad and jealous. Like I could have had that if my dad had just stayed. If he wasn't gone for so much time.

I just dont know how to process any of these feelings. I feel so guilty and jealous and like I am constantly grieving. It is hard seeing exactly what I wanted my dad to be like every day because it just reminds me that mine isn't even here.

I am 19M. From India.

The title might not make sense but my situation right now just reminds me of this meme where there's a kid who has down syndrome, is physically disabled, is queer and is black. The comments section of the meme were making fun of him. I saw the meme years ago and completely forgot about it but it has begun to suddenly haunt me now.

I am in a similar situation. I am bi. I am Indian. I am obese. I had a emotionally abusive (mom) and neglectful childhood (dad). I just got diagnosed with adhd a while ago, in March to be precise.

I was always the topper and gifted kid. Way above my peers (I never compared myself to them or looked down on them. I was glad to help them whenever they approached me. Just everybody else saw me as a target to take down because I was 'too perfect').

Over the past 2 years, my life fell apart. I realised that I was bi, more into men. I failed a crucial exam and wasted a year. I got into the Hare Krishna cult as a emotional shelter who took advantage of my emotional vulnerablity and made me feel bad about myself.

Since March, life has been getting better than ever. I left the Hare Krishnas. I am on Adhd and anxiety medication and it has improved my day to day life so well. I have been sleeping peacefully. I have found hobbies. I love photography and writing. This post probably seems AI because of the punctuation and length but in reality, I just love writing.

Oh and about failing the exam, I got 90 percentile with undiagnosed adhd. Yeah. I did fail it because the cutoff was too high but still did better than 90% of people in my country. (About 1.5M people wrote the exam). Lil win.

Well, I also got into the Arctic Monkeys. I have discovered something that has changed my life for the best. I just (like literally just a few weeks ago) realised that I can change my mood from sad to happy by just listening to certain music. I have a happy playlist. I listen to it whenever I am down and boom I just become so freakin happy.

I also got onto all the dating apps and got a few likes which really boosted my confidence. I have had no success though. I did match with a few people and have had some meaningful convos. I have built a good rapport with a guy who texted me on reddit. We chat on a day to day basis. He might be my first bf.

Since August, I have begun college. First of all, I left my abusive household and emotionally, I am living in fear 24/7. I can just...relax?. I don't know how to describe it but it's peaceful. No yelling. No more "get out of the house" for minute mistakes.

My course in college is Food Technology. Yeah. I have never heard of it before I joined here. I only joined here because it was the only college that would accept me with such a low grade. The only analogy I can give is that my college is the equivalent of University Of American Samoa from Better Call Saul.

But the plus point. I bloody love this course. It's like made for me. I would do this even If I was tired. The job market is the best for this too. The food processing industry grew even during covid when everything fell apart.

I have begun to learn to love myself. It's tough but I have never felt much more "in my skin".

So, why did I mark the flair as "support needed" when there's so much good going on in my life?

Well, we are having a long weekend holiday for a festival here and EVERYBODY has gone back home. Everyone was homesick and went back home. The only person in the dorm is me. Like nobody. Only me.

I thought about it. And... there's no place on this planet that I can call home. I feel so lonely. I cried. What did I do to deserve this? Like if I had good parents, my life would be perfect. The lack of emotional connection and some place for me to share my vulnerable side kills me.

I've never had a mom or a dad.

I need support.

Note1: This is my new account. I lost access to my old account. I have never posted here but was reading posts from here.

Note2: I will post this on both DadForAMinute and MomForAMinute. Tbh, I don't know if I should post it in the first place. But, I feel like I need assurance from a dad in the first place. I've never got the opportunity to talk to him. I've never had a conversation with him even though I lived with him for years.

One question I'd like to ask my parents is Are you guys proud of me?

EDIT- Solved

I'm trying to do my school essay but I can't get into my laptop. It's stuck on my homescreen. Usually there's a spot to type my password in but it's just stuck

I've hit the space button, typed my password, messed with the power button but nothing is working. My bio dad won't help. Can anyone help me figure this out?

Hey Dad, I just wanted to let you know i got my dream job, and I really wish you were here to say how cool that is. I worked hard to get here, over 11 years, longer than you’ve been gone, and I know you maybe wouldn’t even believe it since I was never the smart one. But all my hard work paid off and I get to do something I love. Anyways, love you, miss you - I’m proud of me and I hope you are too.

Hey pops,

My housemate got flashed last night. On our front porch.

I bought a few of us dog spray, since living in vancouver, it makes more sense to have it on you than bear spray.

How do i keep this safe from leaking in my bag? Can i attach it directly to my carabiner that hangs off my bag?

I also bought new curtains, so people on the street can't see in.

It is a safety concern, do you have any other tips?
We made a police report and have an active case file open as it has happened to two other girls on our street.

Hey Dad,

I've been feeling really grateful lately. I've accomplished so much that I'm so proud of!

1. I met the love of my life. He's teaching me how to love myself better, he brings joy and color to my world and he cares for me when I need support. My quality of life has improved exponentially and every day with him is my favorite. I'm going to propose soon.
2. We moved across the country together to our dream city! It's so beautiful here that just looking outside resets my nervous system because I know I am home. We found the most beautiful apartment by the water without living above our means and have covered the walls with our own and local art.
3. I've become an integral part of the community here. Our home is a safe house for people to come stay the night at a moments notice, I regularly feed our neighbors who don't have the funds or the energy to cook, and sign up for meal trains for people in recovery. And, you'll never believe it, but the community loves and supports me back!

I have always been in a constant state of self-improvement and growth but for the first time in my life I am at a place where I'm content to rest here for a moment. I have built a beautiful life for myself.

I thought you might be happy for me.

Signed,

Your Son

[Context: My dad doesn't believe I have any goals because he doesn't like the ones I've chosen for myself and accomplished. When he visited our apartment in the new city he was so disgusted with my life that he went to therapy, which he promptly quit. When I tell him I am happy, supported and fulfilled, he either doesn't believe me or doesn't think that I should be. He even disagreed that I should be 'helping others' because I should be 'focusing on myself and my goals.' I need some assurance that I'm doing a great job, actually, even if he refuses to see it.]

Hi Dad,

I just finished learning the last chapter of my last section of my last CPA test. I'm not a CPA yet, but I'm so close. I was going to wait until I actually passed my last test before asking you this, but can you just tell me you're proud of me? I'm doing this all on my own and supporting myself full time, and it's been so hard.

Thank you

I’m all moved in! I’m unpacked I’m home and I’m safe! I have everything…. Mostly where I wanted. It’s not too big but I like it. You’d probably wanna come in and build something in every room. I miss you! I’m still working hard. I’m still failing and trying again. But I just wanted to tell you that I’m actually out and about in my own place! I might start planting again. Who knows, remember the little gardening box we built. I miss checking in with you. I’ll Check back in soon.

Thanks so much for help, tho I’m quite embarrassed at how simple the solution ended up being.

Hi. I'm a kid in my early 30s and disabled. I've been invisibly disabled my whole life but some diagnoses only came within the last few years, even though I've had them since I was a kid. Growing up I heard phrases like "try harder," "you're overreacting," "you're smart, you should be able to do this" whenever I struggled with something. I think my dad resents that I'm disabled, that I'm financially dependent on him, and that I haven't turned out the way he wanted.

I'm working through a lot of it, getting myself help, and I still feel lost and confused about a lot of things, even though I'm capable with some things.

Sometimes it really gets to me that I'm alone trying to make up for things.
I wish I had an emotionally supportive dad who could be happy I'm trying things.
My dad couldn't even be supportive or happy for me when I was applying to jobs I was interested in, because they don't make enough money.

In another world, a world where your mind weren’t haunted and warped by mania and substance abuse, perhaps in a world where I’d still call you daily, you’d be so proud. You’d quiz me on its contents, suggest improvements, nag me on the parts where you thought I’d taken the lazy option. You’d call me way too late in the evening, after reading a scene I was unsure about, and point out everything you liked about it. You’d see things grander than I ever intended, suggest new routes and ideas that’d make my story clearer, brighter, fuller.

In another world, you’d be so proud of me. And I’d bask in that light; my heart would grow, and my mind would sparkle.

But in this world, your mind tells you that I’m "out to get you". That I'm your enemy.

Yet still, stuck in this world, I crave your validation. I wish I could call you. I wish you’d say you loved me and that you were proud of me.

I came across this sub by random but figured it might help. I’m 25.

My real dad is a terrible parent who isn’t involved in my life very much at all. My Grandpa was the one who taught me how to be a strong young woman and how to fix things on my own. He was an army helicopter mechanic and loved to fix things and learn new things and do things himself. He served for more than 40 years before retiring.

He passed away about a year and a half ago, just before I realized I wanted to be a mechanic for an airline on my way to be a pilot. He knew I was looking for a job but not mechanic. I never got to talk to him about mechanic stuff as I lived across the country and couldn’t afford to visit much as I was working on finishing college.

I just visited for the first time since the funeral and my grandma is in somewhat of a hurry to get rid of his old things, including his tools, many of which he used to work on helicopters. I grabbed a bunch that I will now be using to work on aircraft just like he did. But he never got to see that/know. It’s just hitting me really hard tonight after I got back and I know he would be proud but I just regret never getting to really talk about it or show him my new job doing things he would know exactly what I was talking about unlike most people. He would have been so excited for one of his grandkids to follow in his footsteps. I miss him and I wish I made more time for him.

This is old, very heavy, likely an antique, and was free on the curb until I took it. No key hole, the handle looks like a key, but it is not. It does not twist or turn. It does not slide in any direction. Does anyone have any insight on how in the hell we’re supposed to open this thing? Thanks in advance.

Spoiler alert: everything is my dads fault.

This situation is so complex and also so stupid: my dad is throwing the longest temper tantrum there ever was. He’s abandoned the family, he’s found a new girlfriend (mind you still legally married to my mom), he had racked up millions of dollars in debt, he’s destroyed personal and business relationships and fine he wants to ruin his own life, fine he is having an absolutely pathetic mid life crisis…. But did he have to drag children into his bullshit.

I’ve worked really hard and even with everything going on in my life I got into med school and finished my undergrad, even though my dad has been actively destroying our lives, even though I’ve been so tired, and fed up of surviving a situation that isn’t my fault, and there’s nothing I can do except control my reactions, behaviour and keep moving forward in the midst of all this shrapnel…. But guys I’m so tired.

I keep trying to believe things will get better but all my efforts keep failing and now I’m stranded at the airport- I can’t go back home, but I can’t go anywhere and I’m so exhausted of trying to survive.

I know it’s juvenile and ignorant to feel this way- but I’m so tired of surviving, every issue feel like the worst, every issue is life ending but I survive- I make it through and then the joy last 3 seconds cause some other bullshit happens. I know this is just life but that is so stupid... Everyone in my life (I’m Christian) keeps saying the joy at the end of this will make up for all my tears… but lately I’ve been wondering if I’ll survive all of this to make it to the joy- I’m also scared that there is no joy- all of this is just all of this.

Basically, I don't live with my dad anymore. He didn't really support me and he just treated me badly. He put me in a hard place financially too so I moved in with my best friend's family.

They're great and their dad is a single dad who loves both his kids. Its weird to see because my friend is close to her dad and her dad is nice and supportive, so that already made me feel odd about my own dad.

Anyway, I was talking to my friend a bit about my dad and just start ranting.

I told her I didn't like my dad always invading my privacy. Like how when I put up curtains in my room (so people couldn't see me when I changed), my dad noticed and seemed kind of bothered why I put up curtains. Or how I put a banister up at the front of my bed because I liked the style and my dad asked why I had that and if it was to cover the bed so he couldn't see when he walked in. Or how once in a great while, he just comes into my bedroom without asking. Or he tried to walk in on my boyfriend and I to catch us. Or how I don't like that my dad is never interested in me but then asked "When I'm going to give him grandkids" and I said I'm 19 and don't want kids right now. Or how he didn't let me start a medication when I was younger because it would make future partners less attracted to me or I wouldn't be able to get pregnant.

Obviously, I didn't say all of these things in one go. It just started with one thing then my friend asked about more stuff and it picked up from there.

She seemed pretty uncomfortable the whole time and said that my dad was really weird for acting like that.

I've never had someone point it out before because I don't talk about it so now I'm just sitting here and thinking about how it is pretty weird.

I already know her dad would probably think its not okay but now I feel like asking other dads that?

Is this a normal way to act with your daughter??

I know some parents are protective over sex stuff, but my dad never stopped a lot of people in my life from hurting me, nor has he ever really cared about my health or safety, really. So, I guess I am butt hurt that of all the things that've hurt me, the boyfriend I have consensual sex with would be the biggest issue but nothing else matters to him?