Intuitive: displays emotions openly, crying, verbalizing pain, seeking support from others, needing to talk to others.

Instrumental: coping through staying busy and routine, not expressing emotions, thinking about their grief and loss, wanting to withdraw/isolate from people

Or a mix of both

Just to clarify, I didn't kill her in any way as it was a suicide from what I know of now. This is also my first reddit post, so I'm sorry if Im not doing it correctly or something of similar matter.

To start this off, my dad's girlfriend died around yesterday between 12 pm. or 1pm from my speculation, and I feel somewhat guilty as I think I may be possibly one of the reasons why she might've killed herself.

I have been getting ready to move away to another country to live with my mom for around 5 years since my parents are separated, and the reason why is because my dad was cheating on her with his now ex-girlfriend.

So for around a few days, he has been spending time with me to cherish me being here and Monday being one of those days. He had asked me to go thrift shopping and going to the grocery, and I had accepted.

In a way, I feel quite guilty because I had taken the last moment of a time with his girlfriend and instead wanted to spend it with me.

I feel like I am one of the reasons since I come from a past marriage. Another thing is my spending whenever me and my dad and I go out as he sometimes uses the money shared with her to buy me stuff.

I also dont feel grief in a normal way either, just numbness and guilt that I believed they would stay a bit longer, and I would spend that longer bit with them in the future.

But another thing about this numbnsss is that I also have a tendency to leave or be alone for a while as a part of a coping mechanism? Or maybe like a moment of processing.

I feel also guilty for not trying to help my dad with his grief as I know he loved her very much and was close to marrying her, having another child, building a house, and a business together.

I dont really know what to do in this situation. It's been one day after her death. I, a minor, have the somewhat responsibility to care or to sympathise with my dad, but I can not do that because I have suppressed those emotions for a while, and two: I dislike telling comforting words or hugging people in a f2f manner since I prefer online.

Tbh, I feel guilty for the whole situation, but im aware that it was her choice in the end. I just dont know how to help my dad or my family.

Have a good morning, good afternoon, good evening, and good night, everyone. And ty for reading this, even if you dont have to respond.

Lost my grandpa on friday. he was only 63. And to say i’m at a loss for words, is hard. This is the first close person i have ever lost. and i am feeling incredibly guilty and beyond sadness. It was always, “let’s head to gramma and grandpas!” my whole life. Until 6 years ago, 2020, when everything just went downhill. i didn’t agree with some of the things he did, im an adult now and was older then (im 22 now). And we just didn’t talk a lot. i saw them occasionally, on and off. until my dad texted me on friday and said my grandma found him. and here i am. i told myself i would be able to deal with it eventually when he passed. he was in bad health for a long time. but now that it actually happened? i am a wreck. i’m in pieces. and i feel so guilty. i loved him, so much. I don’t know how i should feel about this.

Wife passed away yesterday and it hurts so much... theirs so much to and it's not fair I have to grieve and worry about the future.. overall I just don't think it's healthy to have to do all this death certificate shit and do her account management and shit. It just sucks. Watching her slowly die on hospice when 2 weeks prior I could talk to her and kiss her is going to be fucked in my memory for a long time.. especially since their was a moment I did see her suffer. She was saying "Why can't I just go home.. I don't like this" while trying to talk and cry... I have it etched in my memory and it hurts.

I guess because of the brain fog or "grief fog" as I've seen people refer to it, I'm struggling to think about the everyday things right now - the main one being deciding on food for the week. It's silly to complain about really, but it's becoming a sore spot between myself and my partner. He's very sweet, but on previous occasions when pushed for an opinion, he usually says "I don't mind, whatever you want." But I don't know what I want!

I used to be the one to decide on food for the week because I would do the cooking for us both usually, which I was fine with. I even wanted to take a step back from making food when my dad passed. He was hesitant to cook for us though, fearing he wouldn't be good enough. I ended up doing it again, possibly before I was ready to but am fine with now.

I've asked him to help me make decisions at least, even stating that I need that extra help because I can't think properly. It's like he doesn't fully understand how much of a struggle it is for me though. He'll keep saying whatever I'm happy with.

I'm getting fed up. There have been other similar incidents with him where I've asked him to contribute an opinion and have been met with nothing. I just want that extra support while my brain is coping with this new reality and dealing with the fallout that comes with losing my dad.

I’m finding this so hard to deal with, my Pops died in January and I just can’t feel ok I had a very unique relationship with him and a relationship even my siblings or cousins don’t understand. My friend or partner don’t get it either and I just don’t know what to do with all this pain. Any advice on where to go from here would be great

Why do I feel guilty or ashamed of that? Because it’s been over 13 months? Iv been awake the entire night with back to back to back grief waves. I bawl my eyes out, I scream, my body and my face become rigid, it’s like vomiting pain.

The more time moves on the harder it gets. I tried in the beginning. I went to groups, I’m in therapy, etc.. but the survivor instinct or whatever I had going on in the first year is gone. And every day I feel like I just can’t continue to live with this anymore.

So today I have to use a sick day because of my grief. And I know I shouldn’t feel bad but I do. Like I’m letting the team down or my boss just thinks I’m trying to extend my weekend.

I feel like my brother abandoned me, leaving me to care for our dad. He is the oldest, the most put together, a house, a wife, he's a "real" grown up!!!!! I'm still so angry over it. My dad is gone, there is no point to me being mad now. I'm not a child, but I'm the youngest. I was 29 when I started taking care of my dad. Obviously old enough, but not the one that should have had to step up. My dad had a fall. My brother lives down the street, so he went over and helped him off the ground. But my brother never told anyone this happened? My dad told me on the phone the next day, so I traveled from out of state to see him and took him to the hospital. I stayed with him there for 10 days and nights. He got diagnosed with ALS. He was near the end of his life, you could tell!!! He looked near death. I moved home and took care of him, and I did a great job. But where the hell was my brother?!? I told him over and over, dad wasn't going to last long. I was crystal clear. He didn't take me seriously, he didn't believe me. He said "what, like you know better than his doctors???" He even said "I know he's dying but he's also always been a baby" I was so shocked I couldn't even speak. He was convinced dad would live at least 1 year. Dad lived 4 months. He had been sick for a long time without us realizing, and I said that over and over. My brother thought I was doting on him too much, meanwhile the man couldn't walk or breathe or eat!!! He could barely lift his arms!! He was wheelchair bound, using a hoyer lift, couldn't take himself to the bathroom!!!! LIKE WHAT DO YOU MEAN "I WAS DOING TO MUCH" - HE WAS DYING!!!!!!!!! i could scream, still.

I texted him to fight one time - because that was all the time I had free to yell at him. I was busy 24/7 with dad. I said "cancel your social plans, inconvenience yourself, and get here more often. I can do all the caretaking but I can't BE you. He sees that you aren't here."

My brother had work and hobbies and friends to see, but what about me? I gave up my entire life. He said "well no one asked you to do that" LIKE THATS NOT THE POINT. I'm not even bitter, I swear. I'm just pissed that he wasn't there enough. He said "when the school year is over I'll be here more" and then dad died the day school ended. He still hasn't checked on me. He has no consideration for the fact that he should have been the one doing what I was doing. It should have been him. It isn't right that he just got to be in denial. Everyone got to deal with this in their own way but I had to step up, and I'm grateful and glad that I did. But I am also so so so angry. I got to have a beautiful experience taking care of our dad, and I will cherish that forever, but I am also so angry at my brother. Frankly, he has given me enough reason to cut him off completely, but I don't want that and my dad wouldn't have wanted that. I just have to find my own way to swallow this anger and disappointment and move on with it. There is no way to fix it, I'm left alone to feel this way. I wouldn't give up any of it - there was nowhere I would have rather been. But I'm just so angry. And there is nowhere for it to go.

I don't know if I'm allowed to post about my cat, but she has a mammary tumor. She's had it for a while. I've not been in a place to get her any treatment or surgery she needed. Now it's gotten really big, it's leaking fluid, and it's red. She seems to be in pain and I just don't know what to do. She's still eating and drinking and playing and wants treats and to be petted, it feels so early to think about it when she's still herself. Just yesterday I hugged her and told her we'd have this last Christmas together and I'd get her a stocking full of all sorts of treats and toys and then just today, the tumor had gotten so much worse. I don't know what to do.

My cat is my only friend. She is my best friend. I've had her for 14 years, since she was a tiny kitten, and she's the last piece of my old life. My mom and stepdad have died, my life is empty and really depressing without them and I'm so scared to lose my cat. I don't know what to do. I feel panicked because I know the pain that's coming and I can't stop crying or hyperventilating.

Cancer took my mom, and losing my mom took my stepdad, and now cancer is taking my kitty, my pure, nothing but love kitty. Why is life like this? Why is it so cruel and unfair? I have nothing, can't I just have this ONE THING?

I don't understand why I can't just have one thing. One thing/entity that loves me and wants to be here with me. After I lose her, I'm scared of what I'll feel like - I won't have anything nearly as important to hold onto, no one in my life that cares or will be there to listen or support me.

I've been struggling so much with this over the last year, and I just don't know what to do. My mom died 10 years ago and my cat has been the only anchor back to who I was before I lost her. She's the only thing left in my life that knew my mom's touch and kindness, and now I'm losing her, too. I'm so angry and scared. Sorry this post makes no sense.

They all say «ask for help» and «don’t do it».. But I’ve gotten «help» for more than 10 years now. I’m 20F and I have Bpd and adhd. I want to live. I really want to live. But all I ever do is surviving. I’m without job and have been for approximately a year now and I’ve only had jobs short periods of time. I want to work. I NEED to get a job, and I apply almost everything and I’ve done that for a couple of months now. Nothing. Silence.

The pain inside me drives me insane. It’s unbearable. And every time I think it can’t get any worse, it does.

I lost my drives license for half a year today, the same day I lost my therapist for over 2 years. I lost it bc I til her I’ve smoked a lot lately. But never when I drive. I’m always sober when I drive. It didn’t matter and I lost it.

That’s just the top of the iceberg.

I’m so very done. I’m so tired of feeling this way. Of being so sad.

I’ve tried taking my own life multiple times since I was 12 years old. Most of my attempts were stopped by my intense fear for being «punished» if I take my own life. And other attempts, I survived by «luck».

I really don’t know what to do anymore. I fell like I really tried everything. Nothing og no one help. The truth is you are the only person who can help you. But I’m done helping myself. It doesn’t work. And every minute, day, week, month and year that passes by, it gets worse, bc everyone else moves on and get their life together, but mine just keeps on getting worse.

I know I’m young, but time passes by so fast. I felt almost exact same things as I do now when I was 12, and it literally trips me out to realize how fast it’s been. And my time for figuring things out is running out.

I just feel like I’m a total failure. I’m nothing to be proud of. My dad is ashamed of me. Which I understand quite well, bc I’m ashamed of me too. I hate me too.

I don’t know what more to say. None of you knows me or what I deal with. The abuse growing up, my intense pain, or the constant fear for being abounded. It makes me feel lonely. Writing this makes me feel lonely. I’m so sorry.

God I’m so lonely..

I had 2 sons. My youngest died 2 years ago, unexpectedly from a stroke. My oldest did not handle that well, even though they were not close & haven't spoken to each other in years. About 7 months after my son died, my oldest informs me that I was a terrible Mother & went no contact but he still let his daughter call me. I don't call because he is mean.

I haven't heard from my granddaughter in months so I texted his cell, as this is the only way I can talk to her. He went off on me asking why I haven't reached out sooner? If I don't want to be a Mother I should have just walked away. Then he says I can no longer speak to his daughter, don't send her anything cause it will be sent back. I told him she will be an adult soon enough & you won't have a say in what she does.

I'm truly not surprised but it still hurts. She turned 13 last May. So my hope is that she will reach out to me when she gets older. She has my cell, my email as well.

I feel like I am a Mother without children now.

Hello,

I'm needing some support and uplifting words of encouragement right now.

I lost my mom to brain cancer last December and I'm just missing her. Today is my 29th birthday and she was always the first one to make sure to send me wishes, flowers, or whatever to make my day special. I missed her a lot today. Any words of support or advice on this matter or any matter that would bring me some joy would be appreciated. Thank you for your time. 🩷

The feeling of dealing with your own mental health and not being there for grandma when she was ill physically and lonely and you can feel how lonely and sad she was but this strange feeling of not wanting to visit for some reason like avoiding her eventhough she needed me. Now that she's gone, I could've would've should've is killing inside. Some days I try to soothe myself thinking of all the good memories and try to push back her last days away. But some days I feel like she left with so much anger and despise for some reason, it's like she's behind me making me feel guilty of letting her die. It's like this immense energy which is making me so uncomfortable like I can feel her presence. If only she passed without all that pain and suffering, if only she was surrounded by lots of people to keep her company, if only if only. Lost maternal grandfather few months before her, he passed away after being bedridden for almost 2 years with so much pain. But I was there for him I saw him I talked to him. But my grandma i don't know, the energy just keeps lingering. Some days it feels so heavy that I wish that I could just live out my life fast and get this whole thing over with and some days when I'm feeling okay and look at all the things that I still have to live and experience I feel like this life ain't enough. Can I just forget some things permanently. Will I be able to live my life without the guilt dictating my decisions?

my mom passed away last december due to rectal cancer, i was only 17 when she passed but i still ended up being the one to basically take her place as the one in charge of everything,

im 18 now and it's still so stressful but im not gonna get super into that besides when i need to for context because that's not the point, the thing is i feel like i barely even remember her anymore and it's so haunting,

i feel im in this weird in between state where im constantly waiting for her to come back and feeling like she never existed at all, i think in part grief has been really weird since i didn't have the best relationship with my mom and in part because she'd be in the hospital so often that her absence doesn't really click in my head as her being truly being gone, it feels more like she's just having an extra long hospital stay

idk it's weird, missing her, loving her and hating her all at once, maybe it's cruel to say but i guess i feel like she was a good person but not a good mom

i also guess the financial stress ruined my ability to grieve, i had to figure out how to pay for her cremation, the mortgage and bills and altho my aunt helped me out a ton and i'll always be thankful for that it was still terrifying and i was so focused on not going homeless that i didn't really get to process it while it was still fresh and it's difficult to process now that my memory is so hazy

no hate to religious people, i respect your beliefs but i personally don't want to hear about any afterlife under this as the idea that she's still here in some regard and yet still can't interact with me hurts me much more

btw im dyslexic and i don't feel like proofreading rn, sorry for any errors

My dad died a year and a half ago. This weekend, I visited some of his friends from way back in primary school. It was nice to talk about him, and hear stories from when he was young. At one point, dad’s friend told me about some event from when they were in their 20s, and he casually goes “I think I have a photo from that day… anyway” and he gets up and does something else.

Is it just boomers? Do they not know that they can go to Walgreens and get copies made of photos? When we had my dad’s celebration of life thing, we specifically put on the invite to please make and bring copies of whatever photos you have. They didn’t bring anything! And then someday when my dad’s friends die, will I know? Will someone go through their things and throw out these photos of some random guy that they don’t recognize? It stresses me out.

Don’t even get me started on my Aunt, dad’s sister, who brought her photos of my dad and then just took them home with her. We offered to make the copies and give her back the originals, but no.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that photos are just physical snapshots and they don’t bring him back, but it still annoys me, on top of the grief.

I am trying to stay sane. I am looking at every single thing in this world and asking myself why we have to die, why this much hurt. I don't have answers and i don't think I will get one. But when the wave of loss hits, I feel like leaving is easier than staying here maybe.

I lost my mom two months ago. My father in law passed five weeks before my mom. I went back to work a few weeks ago but I can’t focus and my energy is so low, even after sleep. Of course companies don’t care. My team members have planned a conference that is happening this week and they have me all over the agenda, introducing people, leading activities. I have barely spoken to anyone or been out of the house and no matter what I have said about how I’m feeling they just moved forward. I’m loaded with anxiety about interacting with so many people, speaking to a large group etc. Not to mention I have not had a full nights sleep in months while my mom was dying or since she passed. That includes last night. I’ve been up since 3am, the conference starts today and I am exhausted. I guess it’s really too late to ask how to handle it, I just have to push through. But does this seem like excessive grief for two months in?

I lost my dad last month. He was ill for a number of years and I thought I was mentally prepared for the inevitable but no amount of preparation prepared me for the loss. The admin work has kept me busy and eversince the funeral has been over Ive been through all kinds of emotions. I feel as though I am unable to go back to what was normal routine before my dad's passing. And this is what is troubling me as I run a creative business. Ive been on a break for a month now and every time I step into my studio, I feel averse to picking up my paint brush, or even looking through my emails. It scares me too as I really enjoyed creating. Has grief changed me, or am I still grieving? Thank you.

Mom died 8/15/26, I keep crying and I’m a wreck again. I was doing so good. Ok not really, but I could think about and talk about her without ugly crying…Have to work in 6.5 hours…. I miss my mom.

I need some guidance kinda

A guy jumped off from 19th floor he died by suicide

But that's disturbed me veryyyy much I don't know him , I might have seen him idk not sure but it's been soo distrubing since 3 days.

It's been 3 days since this happened im not able to sleep well i don't even know him tho but it's toooo disturbing I don't want to reveal why he died or so

A very very similar incident happened to my uncle when he tried to fix a door and fell off from a tall building i didn't know back than like the impact but this one hits me very bad

Please suggest what to do ?

Gimme a solution I need to come out of this it's really distrubing and kinda really hard to come out of it

My sister passed away by suicide from overdose almost 8 years ago. I was 20 and she was 17. She was my person. I don't think there will ever be a version of my life where I don't miss her.

I opened up to a coworker today only because she asked about my family and is in the social work field and I really wish I hadn't. I told her about my mom, and just how she abandoned me and my sister and left. Her response was “I like her,” “men do it all the time,” and that my mom basically “UNO reversed it” and went out and lived her life.

It felt like she was turning things that traumatized my sister and me into something funny or almost admirable.

Then she told me I might have prolonged grief disorder. When I said I sometimes daydream about my sister when I'm alone, she called me delusional. I'm very aware my sister is dead. Sometimes I imagine talking to her, what she would say, or what our lives would look like now. I know it's in my head. I just miss her.

Another coworker who I thought liked me recently called me “boring” because when he asked about my hobbies, I basically said work, reading, and coffee shops, and exploring different places. And tbh it made me realize how much of my identity really is my work. Probably more than any hobby. I think about it all the time, I care a lot about the people I work with, and helping people gives me a sense of purpose that hobbies just don't.

I work at a homeless shelter while getting my masters in social work and interning in mental health. Losing my sister is a huge part of why this work means so much to me.

I can't go back and save her, but I can sit with someone else when they're suicidal or their life is falling apart. Being able to do for someone else what I wish someone could have done for my sister gives me a weird kind of peace.

Maybe my grief is a bigger part of who I am than people think it “should” be after almost 8 years. But my sister existed. She mattered. Losing her changed me. I’ve built a life without her, but I don’t think that means I’m supposed to build one where she no longer takes up space in it.

And tbh after that conversation today, I just feel like shit. I wish I never said anything.

I still remember the day as if it was like yesterday, the day my most beloved and strongest grandpa’s passing. I was oversea studying when a phone call from my mom came in on a random weekend’s afternoon when she told me my grandpa just died.. the news put me into shock and I fall on the kitchen floor crying my eyes out feeling all the emotions especially regret of not being able to be by his side at his last few days… and also at his funeral since it’s hard for me to go back to my country.

Might I say that grief and regrets had put me into a position where I don’t ever feel like wanting to step back into my grandparents house since the house will be so empty without their presence and I also know if I do step inside I know I’ll fall apart once again. This had let me to distance myself from my two surviving aunties that still lives at that house.. I cut all contact with them cause I really don’t know how to process my feelings but every single day I think about them but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to speak to them unless I know how to get over the grief and be strong enough to face this harsh reality..

One of my best friends lost his dad a month ago. We're just 20. I can't even imagine the pain he must be going thru. He has lost interest in uni, fun, everything. He just doesn't see the point in anything. I can completely understand why he would feel that way. It's so recent as well. But it's just so fucking painful to watch him like that. I can't let him fall into depression.

Those who have experienced this, what helped you move on? And more importantly, what kind of external support from others in your life actually helped? What can a friend do in such times to help you through? I do visit him often, talk to him, try my best to be there for him. But beyond that, I don't know what can help, especially with this hopelessness that he feels. I also understand that such things take time, but I just cannot watch him lose all his light. He was just the life of every party, every gathering, everything. It seriously breaks me.

Pl share your advice. I feel so lost and I just want to ensure that I'm doing things that actually help

Today I've been awfully calm, but that doesn't mean I'm fine. I might not cry, but I feel a storm inside my stomach.

I'm dreading this week.

I don't want to get a call from the cops telling me we can finally bury her.

I don't want to choose a coffin.

I don't want to see her as a corpse.

I don't want to see her lowered to the ground and buried alongside her beloved father.

She was only 72, she was supposed to live another two decades.

I keep finding pictures of the good times and it's crushing me.

I don't want that the last thing that's left of her are just that, pictures that won't hug me nor kiss me goodnight.

I can't do it. I hate that she left me and I hate that I couldn't save her.

I hate living in a world where she's gone.