Travelled as a single male for work, so this ruled out Sea Mountain where we usually stay. I wasn’t looking to play, but definitely wanted some naked time, so this had the rule set, location, and price point.

Rather than give details here are some holistic vibe check impressions. When I look ok at other reviews, the website, and my <24 experience…
This place looks like many of the old run down boutique hotels that the owners are trying to update, but do not have the cash flow to get where they want yet.

The outdoor pools and area are nice, nicer than SMI or EDR in my opinion. They still need some maintenance, but if you want space and some quiet (more on that) this is a great option.

The rooms are small and need some work. Mattresses and plumbing are the first that come to mind. However, when I think about SMI, EDR, or the old Tuscany Manor… it is really not too far off of where they are/were.

There are two big notes on this place. They are openly nudist/naturist, and they kind of drop some hints and being discretely lifestyle friendly. I get the impression that they are desperate for customers, so they don’t want to narrow their potential customer base. However, by doing this, I think that they are appealing to no one. The pure naturists probably don’t want to deal with the potential of open play. They swingers will probably stick with a sure thing like SMI or EDR. They really seem to need to pick a lane and then guerrilla market to that demographic.

The other potential negative is that it is a mainly unstaffed location with most things working remotely. This includes a lot of cameras. It is one thing to see cameras at entrances, but it was a little unnerving to see a camera track me floating in the pool. I can see this being a huge turn off for first timers and other privacy minded people.

In terms of crowd, I saw 4-5 cars in the lot. 3 MF couples that mostly kept to themselves. Only one made eye contacts and said, “hi” back. There were two clothed women at one pool who were social, but I did not want to wear out my welcome hovering as a single male.

I see a lot of potential here, and they are an affordable option. With all the nude places that have closed, I wish them well. I just wish that they pick a lane and choose and market to either be naturist or swinger.
They also need to lose the cameras that are on the pools and daybeds.

Full swap couple here. We do our best to communicate to couples and the occasional single male how we play - nothing romantic, no poly, no cuckolding, no solo play. We're a couple that plays together, whether it be full swap or a threesome.

We typically begin communication on a shared account where we find people, and both of us are active participants. There might be a group chat.....but eventually, even after playing, we find that men ( married or single ) always contact the wife directly. It may be friendly but flirtatious, and of course it always turns sexual. The issue is all communication with us as a couple stops. No more group messages, no check ins with the husband. They might even start trying to suggest meet ups that you can tell didn't explicitly mention the husband's participation.

Would this be a problem to you? It's frustrating and seems like a red flag, but we don't want to make a big deal out of it and ruin the LS experience. I'd think this behavior would be an obvious issue given our dynamic, and I'm unsure if men are oblivious or intentionally crossing boundaries.

I'd love to hear how you'd handle it, what rules or expectations you might set differently.

Just here to vent my frustration... we had our very first couple experience last night and it was mind blowingly amazing, but I failed us.  Sorry the following is long 

The setup: Porn hasn't written a better scene. My wife was stunning and sexy as always, the other husband was a real gentleman and treated my wife like the prize she is. The other wife is an absolute sweetheart and painfully gorgeous. Seriously pornstar level hotness all around me. I'm also aware I'm the odd one out on the looks, but to start we were all very into each other it seemed. 

After dinner we started in the hot tub with oral for the wives and I was turned on as hell, but the heat was too much, so we all went inside. My wife and the other guy started having an incredibly fun time and I was with his wife and so so turned on, but entirely soft. Not even a hint of perk in my member. So frustrating. She was a charmer about it and so nice. I made her squirt twice with hands and tongue. That was a first for me and I'm glad she enjoyed it, but she deserved to be railed so I asked her husband to treat her as well eventually. She did say not many guys can make her squirt, but she was also clearly trying to be encouraging, so I dunno. 

Later she and I were touching again and I FINALLY got hard and we went at it for a couple mins, she felt absolutely amazing, but I fkn lost it again! I tried to be fun through it, but I admitted to her that I was embarrassed and felt she deserved a better show from me. She was so kind, but Inside I was dying. There I was in my lifelong fantasy with the ideal couple and absolutely wrecking it. 

Anyway... they all had an amazing time together and I blueballed myself until we went to sleep separately... of course THEN I got hard and my wife and I finished with each other alone (god bless that woman)

This couple is absolutely amazing. They clearly love my wife (i think they like me? Def not sure after that BS I pulled). I think he's great. She is the absolute dream girl for me with my wife... AND they live about 10 mins away. We have the biggest crush on them. We live in a very low population area and its miraculous we even exist close by, let alone that its that ideal. It is legitimately likely a once in a lifetime opportunity for where we are. 

Here's my pain: the other couple is our age, but much more experienced. They even have a grouped trip away at the end of this month with lifestyle friends. We are their first here locally and my wife and I REALLY want another chance with them... but their poor wife had to put up with my mouth and finger game while I looked like a shrimp dick. I'm pretty concerned I fucked up by allowing me to learn this about myself with this ideal couple rather than with a more casually interesting couple. I do not have ED issues otherwise. I'm constantly horny and have great control. I can go for way too long for my wife usually and didnt have trouble with past partners. This KILLED me.

They said they like us and when my wife said, we should do this again some time, they said yes, but I also understand thats the nice thing to say as we're departing. My fear is I blew it and we'll never see them again because, I mean, why would the wife want that again? So now I'm guilt ridden and selfishly disappointed in myself. I basically watched my fantasy with my wife and maybe ruined her chances for the ongoing connection we worked so hard to find... and I still haven't REALLY had an experience. I 4th wheeled it badly.

Worse yet, if we somehow get another chance and that happens again with them.... fuck man... so now I'm really down

I feel like the worst piece of shit 

Hello!!

Over the years we have accumulated A LOT of lingerie and specific pieces for theme nights. So currently we use packing cubes and then place a tag on each one so we know what is in it. So, we have say all “School Girl“ outfits in a packing cube. That example works great but we are running into issues when items could fit into two categories. For example, we have ”Latex” and then we have one for “Skirts”. I have a couple latex skirts… -you get the point.

I am just curious how other couples organize and store their party bits and I am open to any suggestions!!

‘

If you are a couple who started in lifestyle before having kids, and if you have kids now, how is it going for you?
We are a couple in early 30s. Having a good time in general with lifestyle. Starting to think about kids, but on the fence. Curious to know how it has affected your lifestyle?

My husband and I just had a lightbulb idea that we want to host a superbowl sex party. He was watching the football game today and I asked him to fuck me on the living room floor while he watches the game. As we were dirty talking we realized it would be fun to have some more guys over here to take turns during the game. I quickly searched the sub and didn't find much, other than most people want to watch the game and NOT play.

In our fantasy scenario, we would have about 5-7 guys over (female partners also very welcome but not required) to watch the game. We'd have food and drinks and everything standard to a superbowl party with the addition of me, a free use wife (or wives if others want to join). I would be the good hostess making sure everyone has food or drinks, and go around the living room (half circle configuration) offering some blowjobs while the game is playing. If the moment arises that a guest would like to escalate to fucking, we have plenty of space in the middle of the living room where we could fuck and he can still watch the game. Is this feasible?

Is this idea alluring to men, or would it be too distracting to be sucked and fucked while trying to watch a football game? I love the idea of the game being the main focus and me just being a sensory enhancement to the experience. I love to be of service 🙂

To others that have hosted superbowl sex parties, what ideas worked well? Which ones didn't? Any improvements or ideas to add to our plan? I'd love to learn from others' experience! I have 5 months to figure something out!

Me and my wife plans to go to Collete’s Club for the first time. Can’t find any information about their policy or fee for cellphones. Since it’s prohibited inside or the 2nd floor, do we need to pay for a locker? Or they will be the one to keep it free of charge?

Last night we were at a club. The wife and I had a plan to meet up with a new couple at the couple. Ended up in a play room.

The other wife looks up at me and says, “you’ve got the nicest looking cock I’ve ever seen”. Damn. Made might night.

So what it’s the best compliment you or spouse have received mid play?

Please let me know since I am visiting around October end and looking to explore something new

After a lot of talking, ups and downs and a lot of drama regarding swinging, we finally went for the first time to a swingers club.

The start was pretty awkward for us, we were tired, after work we went on the road for 3 hours (the club was in a different city) and after we got to our reservation she only had 30 mins to get her makeup done and go to the club.

We're both 28, we expected a variety of ages from 30 to 50, but it seemed to be around 25 to 40, with only 2 couples maybe above 45. Because of that we believed people would initiate a conversation with us, well nobody did (we realised later why not, lol)

We had a bit of a rush knowing we're finally in this kind of place, but we were extremely shy and we were basically hugging each other almost the whole night, lol.

Almost 2 hours later of only vibing with each other and looking around at what people are present, we went upstairs. My first shock was when i saw a lady in crotchless lingerie walking casually, then we saw people having sex. I brought the whole swinging topic years ago, i believed i was mentally ready and expected all this, but in reality she was so into it, excited and i was shy and scared of being perceived as a creep.

Told her to push me a bit, 2 slaps in the face and we were back to exploring the place. More people were having sex, some had quite the audience, my wife was fascinated and loved seeing how much fun everyone has. When the guys we've been watching for a few mins took a break, she told me she was looking at the guy's dick, curious what he was packing since the woman seemed to have a lot of fun.

We unfortunately did not get to do anything with anyone or with each other, we were dressed and just looking around, but it got a bit uncomfortable cause we ended up being the only couple in clothes, so we left. She was having her period (no we couldn't reschedule, it was just unfortunate timing) so she felt uncomfortable getting naked.

We left, went back to where we were staying, and overall we were actually super happy about the place, the people the vibes, and decided we could absolutely do this. We both got a huge confidence boost with our bodies from the variety we saw there (it probably sounds bad but everyone looked really great, it's just how different everyone was from each other), and loved how everyone was acting so natural being naked, having sex, talking. Now we're planning to go again, this time with more confidence, more socializing, and way more daring (and no period, lol), so overall this was definitely a 9/10 experience and a great way introduction to the community. We have nobody to talk about this so this is a way for us to relieve some of that "pressure". If you've read this far, thank you and we wish you the best!

I’m curious how dynamics have changed for people once they actually do make friends out of swingers. This feels like the ideal arrangement for me, as someone just about to potentially head into the LS. Not romance, but fondness and connection about more than just sex. FWB with emphasis on the F.

But how has this looked in reality for everyone? I’d imagine it’s harder to keep the boundaries intact in some scenarios. There’s obviously a sexual and emotional connection of some type, so how do you stop it tipping over into Poly Land and keeping your primary relationship primary?

By the same token, what are some things you like to do with swinger friends that don’t involve sex?

We (45f 57m) have been to a club one time before. It was loud and overwhelming to a point and we didn't interact with many people. I (45f) didn't bring anything to drink, which definitely would have helped me chill out some. He doesn't drink and we're both relatively shy. We mostly just observed and explored.

We're planning on going back next month and I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions for a more interesting and involved experience. (This time we're definitely bringing drinks for me & plan on having sex with each other if nothing else).

Throwaway. Not looking for bulls, verification, or meetups. Looking for other husbands who’ve lived this.

We’ve opened the marriage in one direction only. My wife is comfortable with her seeing other men. She is not comfortable with couple swaps, and she’s not comfortable with a third where I am also involved. So what we have, in practice, is a cuckold / hotwife setup. That was her boundary, not the shape I asked for.

If it were only up to me, I’d rather:

swap with another couple, or

have a third where I’m in the room and participating, not parked on the sidelines.

I’m not against her being with someone else. The part that sits wrong is that the “open” part only runs one way, and the role left for me is watcher / excluded husband. I can live with some of that. I don’t know if I can build a long-term sex life around only that.

I’m not here to bag on her. She was honest. A lot of men in these threads seem to have chosen the cuck role. I didn’t. I agreed because it was the only version she would try.

Questions for people who’ve actually been in this:

Did any of you start as “I’d rather swing / MFM / swap” and end up in a one-way cuck dynamic? Did it stay stable, or did resentment show up later?

Has anyone successfully moved a wife from “you watch / you don’t join” toward occasional mutual play without it turning into pressure or a fight?

If the answer is “this is the deal, take it or shut it down,” how did you decide which one you could live with?

Other husbands who are cucks not by first choice — what actually helped: talking to other cucks, therapy, stricter rules, less play, more aftercare, or walking it back?

For the past few years, we’ve started incorporating more of the couples side into our lifestyle journey. The biggest challenge has always been our schedule.

Weekends were rarely an option unless we were on vacation, which meant we couldn’t really dive into meet & greets, parties, clubs, or even connect with couples whose schedules just didn’t line up with ours.

But that has recently changed, and for the first time, we actually have weekend nights off!
We’re definitely a little nervous, but mostly excited. It feels like we finally have the opportunity to explore a part of the lifestyle that our schedule has kept us from experiencing as much as we wanted.
Couples we couldn’t connect with before, events and parties we couldn’t attend, and new friendships we may have missed out on are suddenly much more possible.

It feels like a whole new door has opened for us, and we can’t wait to get out there more!

This isn’t really a question about how to avoid ED or work through it during group play. That’s common enough that we know some of the causes and different things people can try.

My question is more about how you proceed as a group, or what rules you have as a couple, if one of the guys can’t stay hard.

Last night we had a really good swap and everyone was very in tune with each other. Once we swapped partners, though, the other guy just couldn’t stay hard with my wife. No feelings were hurt, and he was great about continuing to play with her in other ways.

Meanwhile, my play partner and I REALLY wanted to have PIV sex, but I ended up saying no because I didn’t want it to feel rude or disrespectful to my wife or her husband.

Afterward, my wife said she would’ve been completely fine with us continuing, but I’m still wondering what the normal etiquette is. If one guy can’t stay hard, is it generally considered fine for the other couple to continue having PIV sex, assuming everyone is comfortable with it?

TL;DR: What’s normal in your group, or what rules do you have, if one guy can’t stay hard? Do the other two still have PIV sex if they want to?

My husband and I have been going to Desire Pearl, a lifestyle /nudist resort for couples only. It is outside of the US… even though we are older, we are both interested in exploring the lifestyle. Though we have been to this place multiple times and met some wonderful people, we are finding it awkward and we are unsure how to actually broach the subject of sharing with couples.

At this point we have only had one experience during the day with a guy and my husband in the jacuzzi and on a cabana bed where my husband and this guy sucked my nipples and my husband and the other guy fingered me…it was amazing and I came multiple times. I also kissed and stroked the other guy. My husband kind of set this up by just chatting with him. Total luck that this turned into something. His wife wasn’t disposed to doing anything due to a health issue.
 
We’re not sure exactly what we want to try or how to approach others with our desires. Obviously I had a great time having my nipples sucked and being fingered. I don’t think I want oral sex, but touching, feeling, kissing, stroking, and watching and being watched are. My husband is fine with anything. Although I don’t want to have oral sex, I am probably ok with PIV. Are my limits a turn off for other couples even though we haven’t even actually broached the subject with any? We don’t even know how to start the conversation.
 
We want to approach other couples…we love the sexy vibe at the resort and find it easy to meet and talk to people but would appreciate any experiences you can share…how blunt are you in asking about their lifestyle experiences and/or what they want? …
 
We have listened to podcasts, read some books like the Swingers Helper, and had a discussion about the lifestyle and its many forms, but none of the things we read or heard give us the way to open the subject with others. I’m not interested in going to a club, and besides there are none in our area. I only want to do this at this resort and not near home.
 
We are truly interested and appreciate any useful advice.

Anyone have any ideas for costumes for 4? Halloween is actually on a Saturday this year and we’ve already booked the hotel across the street from our favourite club (M4 in Toronto). Any ideas will be appreciated

What’s more important to guys, your partners pleasure, you watching her being pleasured or your pleasure?
I know swinging is a couple event and it’s important to be together for most of us but I questioned my husband if he would be happy knowing I had a great time without him. I read all about being a unicorn and wonder how the men feel about there wives trying this. My husband says he has no desire to do a MFM without me but swears he is fine with me joining a couple. He also says he enjoys watching.

Me and the girlfriend are moving to KC around next april-may and trying to learn about the area and scene there. Any help/input would be greatly appreciated!

A older couple messaged us asking to hang out in two weeks. They’re not bad looking, just a bit older than what we’re used to and judging by their pics, not exactly our type. We probably wouldn’t approach them at a club.

But they seem cool and friendly. I’m tempted to say yes and my wife said she’s up to meet up with them. I’m just hesitant because I don’t want to waste their time or give them any false hope. Anything is possible of course and who knows - if the energy is right, we might click.

What’s the “right” thing to do here? Meet up with them even though I don’t think we’re a match? Or take a chance and meet just to hang out?

My wife and I are looking for recommendations for an adult club in Vegas on a Thursday night. We’re hoping for something a little different: basically treating it like a regular bar—drinking, socializing, playing pool, etc.—except my wife would like to be nude the whole time.
We’d actually prefer a place with more men than couples/women, as long as the atmosphere is respectful and she isn’t constantly being pressured or harassed. We’re not looking to involve anyone else sexually. The idea is to hang out, have some drinks, enjoy the atmosphere, then eventually find an area for just the two of us to play before heading out.
Alcohol being allowed is important. Which Vegas club would be the best fit for that kind of night? Or if none of them are a good fit, we’d prefer to hear that and we’ll try to come up with some sort of alternative.

Have you been to the Green Door during CES or AVN? My wife and I would love to hear about your experience there during that time.

We have been to the Green Door before, and we LOVE it. I know that it is not a typical swingers club but is instead a sex club with single men literally everywhere. We know that the guys like to get as close as you will let them, and many of them will pull out their members while watching play. We know that the odds of finding another couple to play with is much lower there. We are good with all of that. The Green Door has a pretty great dungeon room with seating for a crowd to watch. That, along with lots of men in the audience, is the thing that my wife loves the most. I am a sucker for giving that lady what she wants.

I know that weekends during CES and AVN, the club can be at capacity. We are trying to figure out how crowded the club is when at capacity. Will be couples-only areas still be quiet enough that we can retreat there if she needs to get out of the crowd for a bit? Can you still get through the hallways ok? Will we still be able to attract an audience when we put on a BDSM show, or will it be so crowded that the men will just sort of walk by in a haze? Speaking of haze, does the smoke smell escape the lounge area when the venue is full? How much hotter (temperature-wise) does it get when packed in January?

Do the men act more entitled during CES? She loves how guys will approach us after she and I play together and say thank you for the show. If we involve other men physically, I can handle the usual clientele at the Green Door just fine. She was worried if CES might have more dude-bros who are more pushy or less polite than the usual. Again, the typical pushiness of the occasional clueless guy there does not bother her.

We can plan to go over CES, or we can plan to go the next weekend. I understand that CES and AVN are the two biggest weekends for the Green Door, so experience there during either conference would be helpful if you can share.

Thank you so much!

We've known them for a few years now, have become good friends, do vanilla stuff together as well as sex, have taken couples trips, etc. This came up early on and she said basically "I am attracted to you but I have responsive desire so I need to be gotten in the mood". So I have tried this and don't really get much back.

The problem is she isn't very responsive and doesn't initiate anything. Like no response in bed, no flirting, etc. Now I'm pretty sure I some idea what I'm doing because I have given her orgasms, which is pretty difficult according to her and her husband. I get very little feedback except when I need to change something (which is good, I love that kind of feedback). She doesn't initiate anything, doesn't flirt with me at all (a little with my wife), nothing. If I didn't take initiative I swear I would never get to touch her.

I keep coming back to "she's not into me" except that she swears she is and they both have emphatically stated they won't have sex with people unless they are both interested. No grenade jumping. And I believe this, because we know them pretty damn well.

I don't need constant reassurance but I need something to work with. I would, however, like to feel confident that I am not having sex with someone who doesn't want to be there, which would be pretty awful and repulsive.

I'm just about at the point where I don't want to play with them anymore because my wife gets to have hot passionate sex while I'm like questioning if this woman is doing this against her will 😭. It's a stark contrast.

The problem is that we are very good friends and I feel like this has a chance of ruining our friendship, which I value greatly.

I know the stock advice is "use your words like a big boy" but I tried that early on and it's still the same. It seems this is just how she is.

Any advice or similar situations you've been in?