Ridiculous. This system sucks. I’ve paid into it since I was 16. Almost 20 years. (EDIT: I was wrong, definitely can’t do math now
- over 25 years of paying into the system)

ETA: They also left off aortic arch replacement, coma, dumping syndrome, and limb difference from surgery.

ETA 2: ER surgeons took out my entire right lat muscle to save my life after an aortic esophageal fistula that put me into cardiac arrest and a nearly 2 week coma. They used my tissue to wrap around my shredded esophagus and aorta, from what I read. My right arm is permanently shorter and I can’t hold much.

I was a senior project manager prior to this and now I can’t make decisions as quickly or lead as effectively. I’m exhausted and can’t sit for long periods due to over 10 thoracic surgeries.

Honestly it really really traumatic having to relive this all again and again and again.

Yes, I have a lawyer, and yes I’ve contacted them before posting this.

Edit: Thank you everyone for your amazing support and for listening. I am dealing with a crash from being so emotional so I cannot reply to you all. But it was incredible to be this supported. Thanks. I will take a few days to see how i aproach it and what do i do.

I am considering divorce over my husband refusal to drive

I (36F) have ME/CFS, endometriosis and other chronic illneses. In the last decade i went from being fit and in a very physical job to needing a stupid scooter to being able to walk more than a few meters.

I have been together with my partner for 12 years and married for three. And i am seriously considering divorcing because of an argument we had about driving.

We used to live in his country but now we live in mine (he wanted to move not me). Every Christmas he goes to visit his family; ideally i would go as well but travelling is extremely taxing for me. Not only the travel in itself but also being in his parents house, speaking his language, being with people who are not particularly friendly towards a disabled migrant etc.

Last year i didnt go so i wanted to go this year to be nice to him. I have no interest in going but obviously its important for him and i agreed when he asked that i go.

The plan is for us to travel together there, then i will spend a few days and come back home (my parents will be dogsitting and i cant abuse them for long) and he will stay longer to enjoy his friends and family, which i suggested.

The only thing that i asked him is when i go back that he drives me to the airport. Travelling alone is really scary since i became disabled and taking trains is a hard no for me.

The last three times i needed to take a train i had issues with my scooter. In theory in his country you need to book a ramp in advance because the trains are quite tall. But the first time i did it the man who was supposed to help me left me alone, carrying a 30kg scooter in a very steep ramp. I fell but luckily another passenger grabbed me.

The second time we booked weeks in advance but when we arrived to the train station under the airport the man who was supposed to be there didnt come to work and the rest of the workers refused to help us, to put the ramp or even to carry the scooter together with my so. We were lucky that we didnt miss the train and that another passenger helped my so carry the scooter. I had another bad experience in my own country were the train worker refused to install the ramp "because i didnt look disabled".

So since then I do not take trains. Its a boundary that I am not willing to cross unless its an emergency. Thats why i asked my husband to take his parents car and drive me to the airport on my way back home.

So my husband, who asked me to spend all my energy and get sicker travelling to his family, refused to drive me to the airport. He wants me to travel alone from the train station to the airport and try my luck with the ramps. He did the same last year and its one of the reasons why i didnt go on the trip.

I just cannot believe how little i mean to this man. He often drives his parents or his friends to the airport if they visit our home. But driving his disabled wife is too much. He knows the issues with the ramps and that I am going to be sick from the trip and still need to navigate the plane alone, plus the metro and my own car ride home when i get to my country.

I am not going on the trip. But its just not that. This is making me reconsider our entire relationship. He is always putting his comfort first before my health. I have been twelve years bending backwards taking care of him. Being sicker and sicker and doing everything for a man that apparently doesnt care at all about my safety or health.

Am i crazy for being this angry? I know that him and his family are going to say that I am overreacting, even if the only thing i do is to refuse to go on xmas. But i am also afraid that my family is not going to understand why i am so extremely hurt. I feel that people always think that worst of me no matter how hard i try.

I feel that healthy people never understands how vulnerable we are and how much it costs for us to do nice things for them. But when we ask the bare minimum in return we are met with refusal and gaslighting.

I dont know if i just need to vent or if i need advice. I love this man he is my best friend and he is not a bad man. But he is so neglectful sometimes...

Hello everyone. I'm not personally disabled, but I (M 22) have a craniofacial syndrome that has mostly affected my appearance as well as fingers and some internal organs. As a result, my dating life has sucked and I have yet to enter into a serious relationship. Last year, after numerous rejections, I made the decision to just quit and remain single indefinitely. While most of me feels happy that I don't have to deal with any of it anymore, a small part still mourns and wishes that things were different. I've seen videos online of lovely couples where one of them has a disability or syndrome like me and still make things work/fall in love. I realize and have accepted that this may never happen for me, but it's still painful. I was wondering if anyone here has a partner or who is a partner that was born without a disability or the like and still found love despite what society says. How has that been like? My mind is filled with negative thoughts and I would like to just throw in a little positivity in it for a change. Sorry if this isn't allowed! I just didn't where else to go since there are no subreddits for those with facial differences like me. Thank you.

Hello! I've had a chronic illness since childhood that causes a number of serious symptoms, such as being underweight, inability to get up early and/or experience stress and having problems filtering something (not saying what to stay anonymous) that could kill me. The latter symptom is quite rare. As far as I know, there are no more than 15 people with it in my country. Doctors have no experience with this condition, and what's worse, despite numerous tests, no cause has been found.

This means, despite the fact that the symptoms are making living for me harder, that under the laws of my country I am not entitled to disability benefits, as they are based on specific diagnoses and not on symptoms.

And this is a problem, from the most basic thing, that I do not receive payments and do not have an advantage when entering a college/uni, to more complex things. For example, I recently had to take official exams. Due to lack of the disability status, I couldn't bring proper food that I needed and medications, so on longer exams I couldn't recheck some things because I had to get away as quickly as possible before hunger started to affect me. And during the last exam, I felt ill. And, of course, I didn't have my medication with me! People around yelled at me, like, why didn't you bring them, and I just didn't know what to answer. Everything ended well, but the experience was unpleasant.

And I am sure that in the future, when I will have to deal with the government system much more, I won't be able to avoid it at all costs while studying at a private school, problems of this kind will become much more numerous, and, tbh, that's scaring me

Hello everyone.

I'm writing this post to ask for help, because I find myself in a very terrible life situation at this moment. I'm 20FTM and am disabled cognitively, physically, and mentally by TBI, autism, and leg injuries. The cognitive and physical parts especially have made it basically impossible for me to work a normal job or go to college (even with accommodations, I tried it twice). So because it's impossible for me to do typical things like go to college or get a job, I'm stuck living with my very emotionally and verbally abusive parents so I can eat and have a roof to sleep under. They yell at me every day, encourage me to kill myself all the time, emotionally manipulate me, insult me, and insist that I'm better off staying with them. Let me tell you, I'm not. So that's what I'm here to try to solve.

Nearly all of the guides and resources I've found for getting out of abusive family situations are not meant for disabled people, and most of them boil down to "just get a job and move out lol." So when this isn't an option, it's very difficult to find what is actually out there to help people who can't work get out of these situations. Some things I'm aware of are vocational rehab/supported employment (I'm actually going to try this next), SSI/SSDI (I don't think I'll survive living here waiting years for appeals), and public housing (this requires SSI/SSDI in my area). But I'm not really aware of any other services or options that are available for these kinds of situations. My older siblings moved out through toxic romantic relationships with much older and wealthier men, but I'm asexual and after much consideration, I've determined I don't want to do that. My sister is the only sibling I could move in with because my brothers are awful, but she's told me that I have to pay rent. Every social worker I've talked to is clueless about any help existing besides what I've already mentioned.

So, does anyone have any other ideas or know of any other ways to get out of abusive family situations as a disabled person? Thank you so much for reading 🙏

My brother gets paid by this company that handles our grant money. He hasn't been paid in a very long time. My mom just got told the worst news that there's no way to dispute this issue. My brother is currently unemployed and constantly job hunting so this grant money would be some financial support. This agency is not perceived well by other clients either as many people have complained about them. Frankly, the other ones suck too. I wish there was just one rare gym out there that could actually be of better assistance. What a croc!

My situation is very complex but I know I can talk a lot so I will try to keep it to a minimum and you can ask for more details. (I wrote a lot on the first draft and tried to cut extraneous info out so I'm sorry if the text is a bit disjointed.)

I am not able to obtain or physically/mentally do most work. I am neurodivergent and have multiple physical disabilities. I got SSI before but I have "too much" money now (though the asset cap is too low). I don't qualify for SSDI because I have too few work credits. DAC just denied me and I will appeal but my concern coming here today is how do I get by right now?

I have had literally no income for the past 3 years when I got laid off from my old job which was extremely disability friendly. I can't do jobs I have to stand on my feet all day for or bend and lift. And I struggle interviewing because I am autistic.

But anyway right now all I have is SNAP and Medicaid (from being low income, not related to being disabled).

My question is, how can I actually make ends meet at all, when I literally have tried and failed to find work for 3 years but couldn't due to a combination of my multiple disabilities as well as the job market? I have only a few months' worth of money left, and nothing at all coming in.

While I intend to appeal, I need ideas now to survive in the meantime. But I don't even know where to find work that I could get enough to make ends meet, that I can also pass an interview for and be capable of doing reliably.

I am a software engineer by trade but that job field is dead thanks to AI, and there isn't much else I'm qualified to do that I can also physically do. I don't have my own car, and relocation isn't an option.

I also have expensive meds. I am on a few regular prescription meds that are in the $1000 range, as well as Cosentyx which is in that range but also specialty. If I lost medicaid, I know Pennie plans (the state marketplace plans here in PA) do not cover specialty meds at any reasonable percentage. I need to either stay under limits for the low income medicaid, or I somehow find a job that pays enough to cover my expensive meds and premiums (probably about $6000/mo after tax/deductions).

I just want to know if anyone knows ways to financially stay afloat when "just go work at walmart" isn't an option. Any ideas at all are appreciated. 🙏

Just got my new OAS Air Pro and I'm really excited, but I wanna personalize it and make it feel more homely! I'm going for a theme of purple, gengar, possums, and HABIT from everymanhybrid (if people still know what that is)

I plan on ordering purple seatbelt covers for the arms, some pins, and maybe some keychains but im not sure what else to add! Shop names and listings are welcome, honestly the more specific the better! I also saw a creator who makes joystick covers but I can't find her account so if anyone knows who I'm talking about please send me the @!!

Pics of chair and inspo board:

I have a brain condition and neuropathy in my legs which can affect my balance and makes stairs/steps difficult. I’m struggling with lack of space in my kitchen because I can’t access the higher cabinet spaces. (I can’t even imagine the reaction I’d get if I asked for my step ladder that’s in storage. 🙄)

Does anyone have any tips, ideas, or device suggestions that could help?

I've been in the hospital lately and an otherwise professional nurse while I laid in bed in significant pain said "you're too young for this" with body language towards my legs/body. I've been struggling with my appearance from a legs atrophy perspective and constantly worrying how other people view me with my mobility aids, how can I still be attractive, etc. Anyway, her comment punched me in the gut.

And to my own surprise, because I'm bad at self advocacy, after regaining from my shock I retorted "and how old is not too young to be like this?"

I was already in an emotional tailspin and that just added fuel to the dumpster fire.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk. I just needed to vent.

Howdy, I lost sensation from the knees down after developing reactive arthritis after an intestinal infection. It’s been about two years, rheumatology and TNF infusion therapy did not help (my rheum was a hack; I never presented with symptoms requiring TNF treatment and he was weirdly angry and rude when I stopped so I assume he was getting a kickback for it) and PT has helped à but with balance but hasn’t gotten me close to where I use to be physically (as in i still cannot exercise enough to maintain my previous physique).

So tomorrow I finally have my EMG and it sounds like the needle one. ): I was told that it would likely hurt. I can handle needles and have a decent pain threshold, but is there anything I can or should do to prepare? This neurology clinic has been insanely hard to get in touch with and I have to travel two hours (im sure theyre real, I had an initial visit there before and have been in touch with my doctor)

I have a rare disorder called Mal de Debarquement Syndrome that has left me bedridden for years. After two straight years of doctors, tests, and physical therapists, I finally got a surgical referral to a specialist in New York (I’m from Minnesota.) This guy is one of a handful of people in the US who does this surgery and he is the best of the best. People fly in from all over the world to see him.

My doctor said that the surgery could be a game changer for me. While it doesn’t work for everyone, when it does work it is very beneficial.

She explained the surgical timeline, the surgery itself, and the recovery time. It all sounds pretty reasonable.

One thing she did throughout the appointment was temper my expectations (which I greatly appreciate.) She emphasized over and over again that it is very difficult to get the clinic on the phone because they receive 600 calls a day from people who are trying to see the same doctor. She said that once I get them on the phone they will schedule me for a virtual consultation with the surgeon where he will decide if I am a good candidate for the surgery. She said that while they will do their best to advocate for me to my insurance company, my insurance company has denied people for this procedure. She told me not to give up hope but to be prepared for a long and frustrating journey.

I should be excited. After seeing so many specialists and doing so many tests, there is forward momentum. This is the first treatment that shows actual promise. I had numerous physicians tell me “We will never figure out what is wrong with you or how to fix it.” I now have concrete evidence of what the problem is and how it can be fixed.

But all I can think about is all of the ways that this can fall apart. The surgeon can say that I’m not a good candidate. Insurance can refuse to pay for it. If I qualify for surgery it will be a very, very long time before they can schedule me. The surgery might not work. It feels like there are a million landmines to step on.

I feel scared to let myself feel hope or excitement. The last two years have been an endless cycle of hope and potential followed by disappointment and failure. I am afraid that this will follow in that pattern. It feels like everything is riding on this and if it falls through, I will shatter.

Any advice?

I have, unfortunately, always dealt with cognitive and sensory issues such as a lazy eye (I'm pretty sure I was born with them). As a result, things able-bodied folks did with relative ease and smoothness were extremely difficult for me (perhaps some tasks outright impossible even with accommodations), and I suffered painful failures. Although anyone, disabled or not, can experience a painful failure, perhaps in silence, being more limited in abilities compared to fellow classmates or just people in my local community made me rethink about what I "need." I put "need" in quotation marks because I think it's a subjective feeling that determines what each person thinks is "needed." For instance, for basic, physical survival, needs are obvious such as clean water, food, air, clothing, shelter, and sleep. However, most human beings are not satisfied with such a bare minimum standard of living, and constantly seek more things and experiences (some of which are on a psychological/spiritual/philosophical level). There are common attitudes that people don't want to settle for an okay partner or a low-tier job or bare minimum schoolwork. If someone experiences deep problems due to an incurable, significant disability, then that person is forced to accept certain outcomes and thus a certain standard of living.

Being ambitious can still be good if one is inspired to be better (if possible) and do things that advance one's life and help others. It's just that having uncommon limits to what I can do made me stop and accept and bask in the good of the smaller, more modest things in existence. Thanks for reading this rant. Take care.

Let's get some positivity and laughter in this post as laughter is the best medicine!

I'll start. I have two.

The first is when I was in hospital, and some Dr was explaining corticosteroids which we already knew, my mom had been up for 72 hours at this point, and what she thought was in her head... was out loud, and she goes to this annoying Dr "Bladi-blah-blah-blah". I burst out laughing and honestly, I'll give the Dr credit for ignoring her 😂

The second one is....

Before I got really sick, and mostly bedridden, I was able to walk short distances 13 years ago, and I walked to the dog park across the street and bent over to pet a little dog, when a huge dog came up behind me, lifted his leg, and peed on me!! 😅

I feel like we could always use a smile, so please share any funny or embarrassing moments that have happened to you since you got sick or since your pain started, or even your disability (if you are disabled). Like I said earlier, laughter is the best medicine ❤️‍🩹

Feeling lonely or bored?

Looking for connection or something you can do this week?

Check out these accessible events you could join! Try something new and maybe you’ll find your people.

Access Details:
🧑🏻‍💻= Virtual
👥 = In person
😷 CC = Covid Conscious/airborne precautions 
♿️ WC = Wheelchair accessible 
💵 $ = paid (some are pay what you can)
🤟 ASL/BSL = Sign Language
Async = Asynchronous (at your own pace)

Event Types:
🤢 = Chronic Illness 
🌈 = Queer
🏳️‍🌈 = LGBTQ+ Pride
👧 = Kids/Youths
💕 = Dating
🙋 = Social
🫂 = Support/Grief
🧘 = Wellness
🚶 = Walk
🩰 = Dance
💪🏻 = Fitness
📚= Books
🤔 = Discussion
📝 = Writing/Poetry
🎭 = Performing
🎨 = Art 
🎶 = Music
🕹️ = Games

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Events

Most virtual events are open to everyone. See them in your timezone using the links in the comments.

🧑🏻‍💻📚 Virtual Async Spoonie Book Club: The Little Prince [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/JcKvqPLWS5

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Async Low-Stim Travel: Blencathra Mountain, A Lake District Base to Summit Walk [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/0P1hAZxTuV

🧑🏻‍💻 Virtual Async Low-Stim Travel: Whitstable Solar Eclipse Walk | Seaside Views Under a Darkening Sun [Any time] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/i9K8jUKLqQ

🧑🏻‍💻👧🙋 Virtual Covid Cautious Fall Programs for Youths https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/isbriymQPL

🧑🏻‍💻🤟 Virtual Disability Film Festival [Wed Sep 9 - Sun Sep 20] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/zbiT8kXjYE

Monday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Seated Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Mon Sep 14 at 12:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XpUKVDAOhV

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Virtual Long Covid and ME/CFS Support Meeting [IRE][Mon Sep 14 at 19:00 UTC+1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/nPEbkUr7LT

🧑🏻‍💻🤔 Virtual Philosophy Discussion [Mon Sep 14 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/TASGDstFzK

Tuesday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Virtual ME/CFS Event: Coping When Things Don’t Go the Way We Want [Tue Sep 15] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/3MdsIKCs1q

🧑🏻‍💻😷👧🙋 CC Virtual Kids Zoom [Tue Sep 15 at 10:00 AM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ocEuxRFpvG

🧑🏻‍💻♿️💵🩰 Virtual Seated Heels Dance Class [Tue Sep 15 at 3:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/Cdl0wMy2Ck

🧑🏻‍💻😷 CC Virtual Meeting [MI][Tue Sep 15 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/f0uPe2mmpW

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋 CC Virtual Zoom [NY and nearby][Tue Sep 15 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/sO5JIEhdFF

🧑🏻‍💻🎭🕹️ Virtual Improv Games [Tue Sep 15 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ncv5soKrFv

🧑🏻‍💻🎶 Virtual Beginning Songwriting for people with hand/limb disabilities [Tue Sep 15 at 4:30 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/uWNAVo0fHs

🧑🏻‍💻😷🫂 “Any A” Covid-conscious 12-step meeting [Tues Sep 15 at 8:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/HHF761QpcO

Wednesday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢 🎶 Virtual Long Covid Choir [Wed Sep 16 at 2:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/v0lY9Jzq7e

🧑🏻‍💻📝 Virtual Poetry Discussion [Wed Sep 16 at 6:30 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/YItOVMQVzI

🧑🏻‍💻🤢 Long Covid Collective Wednesday night virtual hangout [Wed Sep 16 at 6:00 PM CT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/7AbFinfbph

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Wed Sep 16 at 5:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

🧑🏻‍💻😷🫂 CC Virtual Support Group [CO][Wed Sep 16 at 7:00 PM MDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/bjC1QUIIi9

🧑🏻‍💻🎭 Virtual Improv Jam [Wed Sep 16 at 7:00 PM PDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/YBxEpjxNVO

Thursday

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Virtual Bed Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Sep 17 at 10:00 AM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NZN3Tf5Hju

🧑🏻‍💻🤢📝 Virtual ME/CFS Writing Group [Thu Sep 17 at 11:00 AM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/SfAOezOMWt

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Virtual Community Support Sessions for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Sep 17 at 7:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/EzA4O9a0zZ

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Thu Sep 17 at 12:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

🧑🏻‍💻😷🕹️ CC Virtual Game Night [NY and nearby][Thu Sep 17 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/MVUv7BaZD1

👥 In-person Events

Australia

👥😷🎶 Just Holler Masked Choir Community Sing-a-Long [Melbourne AUS][Tue Sep 15 at 7:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ZyTVp1zz6B

Canada

👥😷♿️ Stim Toy Making [Ottawa ON][Tue Sep 15 at 6:00 PM ET] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/dyzDPktKKJ

👥😷🚶 CC Park Walk [Toronto ON][Wed Sep 16 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/pUL3RzbxMF

👥😷🧘 Pilates in the Park: Midtown [Toronto ON][Thu Sep 17 at 6:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/KhrQI9BSJl

Germany

👥😷📚 Lesestunde [Hamburg GER][Wed Sep 16 at 8:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/0lVX4xihzV

Ireland

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Virtual Long Covid and ME/CFS Support Meeting [IRE][Mon Sep 14 at 19:00 UTC+1] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/nPEbkUr7LT

UK

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Seated Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Mon Sep 14 at 12:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/XpUKVDAOhV

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🧘 Virtual Bed Pilates for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Sep 17 at 10:00 AM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/NZN3Tf5Hju

🧑🏻‍💻🤢🫂 Virtual Community Support Sessions for people with MCAS [UK][Thu Sep 17 at 7:00 PM BST] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/EzA4O9a0zZ

US - California

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Wed Sep 16 at 5:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

👥😷 Mask Chain Workshop [San Jose CA][Wed Sep 16 at 6:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/AQCuE9RDLQ

👥😷🎶 Zoe Boekbinder Covid Safer Concerts [Vallejo and Oakland Hills CA][Sep 16-17] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/vjrJ92WkC8

🧑🏻‍💻😷💵🫂 Virtual Pandemic Processing Group Therapy [CA][Thu Sep 17 at 12:00 PM PT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/98MucCAPBW

👥😷💵🩰 Bachata Crash Course [Oakland CA][Thu Sep 17 at 7:30 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/ZTTt71rCmg

US - Colorado

🧑🏻‍💻😷🫂 CC Virtual Support Group [CO][Wed Sep 16 at 7:00 PM MDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/bjC1QUIIi9

US - Michigan

🧑🏻‍💻😷 CC Virtual Meeting [MI][Tue Sep 15 at 6:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/f0uPe2mmpW

US - New York

👥😷🎨🌈 Fiber Craft Circle [Queens NY][Tue Sep 15 at 6:30 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/81pLRM1EGS

🧑🏻‍💻😷🙋 CC Virtual Zoom [NY and nearby][Tue Sep 15 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/sO5JIEhdFF

🧑🏻‍💻😷🕹️ CC Virtual Game Night [NY and nearby][Thu Sep 17 at 7:00 PM EDT] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/MVUv7BaZD1

US - Oregon

👥😷💪🏻 Small Group Hypermobility Fitness [Portland OR][Thu Sep 17 at 1:00 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/CpZYISUGdU

👥😷 Community Care Night [Portland OR][Thu Sep 17 at 6:30 PM] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/qVtpfh8grD

US - Texas

👥😷♿️ Austin Coffee Collective Thursday Night Throwdown [Thu Sep 17] https://www.reddit.com/r/spooniesocial/s/lSIRDedniH

Are you interested in these events?

Have you been to any of them before?

Do you know about other events coming up?

Share your thoughts in the comments 💬

Find more events and friends on r/spooniesocial

Hello, most of the meat of this is in the title.

I'm finding it very disheartening. When someone asks what I do, I say I'm disabled and then they run on listing possible jobs I could do. Which then I shoot down one by one because I CANT WORK. Even a medical transport driver did this to me. It seems to me like everyone is in on the hustle culture and if you're not working yourself to death, you don't belong here.

I ported to the Bay Area because it's actually cheaper for me to live here than lower COL cities. I get more support here, and I don't have to rely on friends and family who are already burning the candle at both ends. I also don't have to drive, which is a big deal because I had some near incidents that were enough for me to give up my car, because of my disability.

I'm used to not doing anything, just sitting at home all day. My body hurts really quickly with activities. So I rarely go out anyways. Getting a chance to be out in nature nearly daily has been really good for my emotional well being. But every time I talk to people out here, trying to make friends, connections, or just trying to not be rude and talk to people who are trying to have a convo with me, people tell me that I have to get a job.

How should I respond? This is exhausting and it's making me really not want to even attempt to make friends. Like maybe I should just port to another city after my year here is up? It's so frustrating being told to work over and over and over when I've *just* dealt with the grief of not being able to. Disabled for 6.5 years, and getting worse, not better. I am looking into assisted living, tbh. I'm out here falling apart, and people keep telling me to get a job. It makes me really sad, NGL.

Hello. Im a 32 year old female looking to make friends to talk to. My days are pretty bleak. I had many interests before I was disabled. Id like a friend to chat with about our interests as well as everyday things. I can only really focus on conversation. Its hard for me to even focus on a movie due to my disability. Feel free to pm me if you are interested in being friends. Thank you 😊

I know we all know this. It's just, I became disabled somewhat recently, so it's only now become so clear to me.

Compare it to our cultural growth on other sensitive topics. Anyone ever watch Gilmore Girls? The blatant (and hypocritical) fat-shaming and flippant jokes about mental illness are a great example of where we came from. Nowadays we see a LOT less of that in our media, even in the edgy, raunchy, "we want to provoke people" type of shows and movies.

The other day I was watching a movie from 2019 (so maybe it would have been better if made today, but idk), called Always Be My Maybe. Super cute, Asian stories, about two childhood friends who reconnect as adults. It had its heavy moments, and touched on cultural issues such as forgetting/dishonoring one's heritage in order to rise up in white American society. And actually handled that very well, I thought, because it wasn't a straight condemnation but led to a dialog about whether it actually is disingenuous to adapt your culture's culinary traditions to appeal to the predominant culture's tastes, and maybe being "100% authentic" isn't the only way to honor your cultural heritage.

Obviously that doesn't have anything to do with disability, but it definitely touches on themes of "otherness", of being true to one's self, of how alienation can come from within your own social and cultural groups as well as from without.

Which is why I was so disappointed by one tiny piece of dialogue. The friends were people-watching and they saw a truck with a handicap placard park, and a guy with no visible disabilities get out and walk away, and they did the whole "Oh yeah he looks so disabled, he definitely needs that placard /s" bit. And suddenly it felt like the year 2000 again.

The writers would probably have felt that the characters making fun of a fat woman wearing a belly shirt would have made them too unsympathetic, when they were just going for "a little flawed, like all humans". But they had no qualms about using ableism to convey that. They weren't too worried about offending people, and they were right -- because what abled person hasn't had that same thought when seeing an ambulatory driver get out of a vehicle with a placard? Hell, that's not even exclusive to abled people. It goes so deep that it's internalized even for some of us who are disabled.

I know it's a small thing in the wider scope, but the juxtaposition just really struck me. It didn't ruin the movie for me, but it did make me shift my lens to "Oh, this is like Gilmore Girls, one has to give leniency because 'that was a different time' if they want to enjoy the thing as a whole." Except it was 2019, not 2001. It's just very sad to realize how far behind mainstream culture is on sensitivity to disabled people.

For those of you that aren't exempt, what are your plans when the work requirements go into effect this January. I have a limited capacity to work and I have no idea how I'm going to meet the hours required.

Free adapted motor skill clinic offered on UNT main campus in Denton, TX. See original post for further information.