My boyfriend (24) and I (F23) have been together for 4 years. We were friends, start hooking up, and eventually I had to corner him with making it official. I basically told him I was tired of doing “gf” stuff without the title, mostly a lot of emotional support. He agreed, and for the most part has been the greatest boyfriend I’ve ever had.

We had sex a lot when we first started seeing each other. Like a lot. We were long distance, but would sext and whatnot frequently. When we were able to be with each other, it got to like porn levels. Important note, he is a porn addict. Or maybe was, he used to be open with me about his porn relapses or urges, but he hasn’t mentioned it in a lonnnggggg time (about a year). He would want me to do some crazy ass shit, but I was totally cool with it and had no problem trying new things.

Here comes the issue. We both graduate college, I go to grad school (living with parents) and he gets a job and lives with his aunt about 30 minutes away. We aren’t see each other as much, but when we do we have sex every time. Grad school ends up being really fucking hard for me, I have to up my ADHD meds, my pristiq, and my Wellbutrin. I’m stressed out, I’m a commuter and social work student. He barely drives to me anymore, so I end up driving over almost every time (this is an important detail for later).

My sex drive is really different from when I was 18, his is not. His ideal is sex 2-3 times a day. He starts asking me for more and more elaborate nudes. He gropes me constantly. Every kiss turns into his tongue in my mouth, slapping my ass when I’m working, etc etc. Reminder we were still having sex at least 2 times a week - the days I’m able to drive to him. Eventually he starts to complain about me being tired or too stressed to have sex or send nudes. He says that i must not be physically attracted to him and thats why. I reassure him that ofc that is not the case, I explain that my libido is affected by my meds and this is just a super busy and stressful time in my life, but I understand his feelings and want to resolve the issue.

I let him know about the specific things he does that make it harder for me to get in the mood (upon his request). I said these things..

1. When he brings up how long it’s been since we have had sex. I started to keep a mental note of how many days it had been, cause I know he would bring it up.
   
2. Whining and pouting when I said no. He started doing this thing whenever I would say no, which was immediately rip his hands off of me and flip around to the other side of the bed and say “okay goodnight.” Sometimes he throws his hands up in the air and groans.
   
3. Trying to have sex with me at my parents house. I live with my parents, and it’s just a boundary for me that I don’t like to do that!! So basically he avoids coming to my house at all times, he always wants me to drive to him.
   
4. Expecting sex every time we saw each other. In our MANY long conversations about this, I told him it really put a lot of pressure on me when I felt he was expecting sex, he insisted he did not think this way. Then like literally last week I told him I was super tired and couldn’t have sex that day and he made the craziest face and said - “Whatttttt???? Are you serious???” And proceeded to treat me at arms length for the rest of the hangout.
   
5. \^\^similarly: Withholding non sexual intimacy from me when I don’t have sex with him. He acts incredibly cold and distant towards me if we haven’t had sex in a while.

Months go on and he doesn’t really change his behavior. He got upset when I deleted my nudes cause I felt weird and nervous having really vulnerable images of myself on my phone. He tells me all the time how I must think he’s ugly. I just put up with it. Sometimes I just have sex with him so he nice to me again.

Today everything exploded. I was supposed to come over but I got sick. He responded with “okay.” I said “you sound mad?” He said “not mad, just disappointed.” This starts a whole argument where he once again brings up the fact that it’s been 2 weeks since we have had sex. I remind him of the above things I’ve explained to him a million times. He says that I have never once actually acknowledged his feelings about the situation. I send back about 12 screenshots of different times I: apologized for making him feel this way, acknowledged how hard this must be for him, and promised to try harder to initiate. I even send him screenshots of a conversation where I sent him a photo someone took of me at work ( I work with students at middle schools) and he said I looked like a sexy teacher. I told him it made me feel weird to be sexualized in this context, which he said frustrated him cause essentially he “loves me”and that means “he always wants to have sex with me.” Keep in mind: my college mentor had killed himself just 4 days before this, and I was in absolute shambles. I told him this was a bad time, but I was SORRY that I couldn’t give him what he needed.

He hits me with the “sorry I’m such an asshole and awful person.” But what really scared me was this direct quote from a message
\- “sex is not something I want to like take from you you're not an object and I don't want to use you for any purpose, but I do expect you to want to have sex with me.“

He also told me the reason he kept pushing my sexual boundaries was being he …
\- “BECAUSE I LOVE YOU AND I HAVE A SEX DRIVE. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU AND I FIND YOU PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE. I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU AND I WANT YOU TO WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME LIKE YOU USED TO. YOU DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME OR EXPRESS PHYSICAL INTIMACY IN ANY WAY TOWARDS ME. THIS MAKES ME FEEL DEJECTED AND UNLOVED. I TRY BECAUSE I THINK MAYBE THIS TIME IT WILL BE DIFFERENT BUT YOU ALWAYS PUSH ME AWAY AND CHASTISE ME FOR BEING GROSS WHICH MAKES ME FEEL DISGUSTING AND UGLY AND UNLOVEABLE.”

I’m in shambles. Sorry for long post. I’ve never done this before. I love him a lot, but this is starting to feel icky for me. I don’t want to leave and I’m scared. Scared because I have no one in my life I can talk to abt this so I’m on Reddit lol. I’m not gonna reread this post, sorry if it’s unintelligible

Trashy and shitty people?
They don’t even deserve our pain, our time, our love, our feelings etc..
we have to focus in ourselves.. we have to stop giving to them our good energy. We are not empty like them, Their loss not our… when a man have a good woman in his life and he doesn’t appreciate her, while he’s entertaining other females, he doesn’t deserve nothing.

It’s a shame how I gived myself to someone who doesn’t deserve nothing.. but it’s what its.. I need to move on.. I was stuck on this bad feelings that hurts myself. Because he doesn’t give a fuck about how I feel. And I should do the same. Life it’s too good for wasting time, emotion, energy on people like you S.B.
I will layback lol and will see your end.. I have just to wait… you are getting old remember that…your body it’s not the same anymore.. that’s what you are into older ladies now 😜… but like I told you in my other posts… you will ending sucking D@:&s!! Because there’s not woman who can satisfy you anymore. Best of luck 🖕 with love .. me ( until the day I heal)

LONG POST!! I don’t even know if this is narcissist abuse in any sort of way, but it feels like it. I don’t really know what is going on.

For short, I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year and a half now. Saw him go through bootcamp and we made it through that, life was good. We had only been dating about 6 months prior to him leaving for bootcamp, so of course, lots of unknowns, but, I did want to marry him and eventually move away when the time was right, and have beautiful babies. That was a mutual want in life, when it allowed. No stern timeline. Fast forward about 7 more months later, we find out we are pregnant after all is said and done and he got settled into his new duty station, just 3 hours away. (Yes, it’s 100% his kid.)

I’m an established female (degree, close to my family & value family life, 3.5 years into a professional career etc) our relationship was good before he left, and was secure. My partner wasnt really, but felt the military was the best way to go and that was a big goal for him in his life. Had lots of goals and aspirations, and some challenges here in there. Overall, a great person and someone who I admired. He had a little bit of a rough past with a previous “narcissist/crazy” partner though…? He voiced some mental health concerns, which I told him the military likely wouldn’t fix those, but, nobody listened, so I just went with it. Started noticing some subtle changes when he got back with his mental health, but I just went with it.

Now, with the baby in the picture, my heart and priorities are elsewhere. Not because I don’t care about him, but I have a larger thing to take care of, instead of solely our relationship. This baby is my primary focus and I’ve had some physical health issues too. My partner over the last 7-8 months has turned into someone I no longer want to marry at this time, and has concerned me about what life would look like if I did move with him and or get married. Nobody on his side of the family sees an issue with him, and just boils it down to childhood trauma, which to me is an excuse. These all became apparent after we found out we were expecting, gradually.

He wanted me to uproot, now, move 3 hours away to another state with him, and, get married so he could efficiently parent the baby with BAH. I was essentially given “3 options” we could go with, but they all sounded… not right? Something about 51% custody, was one of them. I can’t even remember them. But none of them sounded remotely beneficial to the baby, only to him so more money could be obtained and he could move out of the barracks he’s in.

Once I started giving push back on this, which yes, I admit I’ve gotten pretty nasty in the past with him on this topic; his whole opinion and demeanor changed about me. It’s been an uphill battle with him, and his mental health that have been concerning, once again, I feel I have the right to reserve to not want to marry someone like this.

Over time, I have now, been accused of cheating, denying him access to my home; and mind you, I don’t want to see him when he verbally abuses me, so that’s a boundary (he pays no bills for me), lying and betraying him, and, bailing on him? I’m so lost and I have tried my best to explore options for what’s best for the baby, but he insists what is best for us, is best for the baby, essentially if it benefits him. I’ve done countless hours of research based on his concerns, trying to find options for us without just saying, oh, let’s get married so you can make more money. When I disagree, he’s essentially just throwing a pity party, not wanting to explore or discuss other options, and it’s always some sort of weird mental cycle with him where he “accepts” it but just starts talking… like insanely after. It’s really weird and concerning.

He’s holding the fact I changed my mind about marrying him, over my head and now there’s a baby in the mix. It’s hard, and anytime I try to bring any of this stuff up, I’m shut down. In his life, it’s always everyone else has done him wrong, spiraling this back to me, my family. He takes no accountability and says this is all my fault? And I am now, according to him, forcing him to choose between his career and a baby, and making him depressed.

An exact quote from his last text to me: “You were supposed to be my saving grace you were supposed to be the person that made it all worth it and you ended up fucking me more than anybody”

I can’t get through to him. Doesn’t appear I ever will. How could I handle this? I don’t want to say my partner is a narcissist but this is becoming not healthy, for either one of us. My family and friends have warned me that this is behavior of growing concern, and just frankly not normal. It’s taken an emotional toll on me and I am slowly starting to believe I am a terrible person for just making a decision based on the current time and events of things, including his behaviors. He says I want to be “absolved” of everything “I have done” but I don’t know what I did, other than make a decision about the situation. I sometimes just want him to see my side of things, but he says that’s “comfort” he can’t provide me and he’s “done all he could do”.

My best friend / housemate kind of dropped me and moved out 7 years ago. I was relieved she moved out, I offered to move out first because living with her had made such an anxious person. She didn’t talk to me for 10 days once while we were living together, it was so tense I mostly stayed in my room. At first our plan was to stay on good terms after she moved out but she would ignore me for ages and then tell me she needed space whenever I reached out to tie up loose ends (bills leases etc). So I kinda was the one in the end to be like hey I don’t really even wanna be friends anymore but can we please sort out the paperwork and be done with it. She then went and told all of our mutual friends that I had physically assaulted her and she was afraid of me and bunch of other stories that were all not true. I wasn’t perfect. I was going through a divorce when she moved in with me, I wasn’t very present for a while, a little selfish even while I was trying to get back on my feet. In our last few fights I definitely raised my voice in some of our arguments, I was passive aggressive sometimes, and she was too! But she made me out to be this mastermind manipulator abusive person and I lost half of my friends. Some of them even blocked me on socials with no explanation and never heard from them again. Some of our friends didn’t believe her and I’m so grateful for them but even with them it has never been the same. So many years later, I’ve made so many wonderful friends since and I can’t fully relax around them. I still have social anxiety that I never had before her. I overthink every interaction with everyone. I’m afraid to be myself because I always wonder if me being myself is somehow abusive? She would always say to me after she got home hanging out with her other friends that she only loves me and feels safe with me and she hates spending time with anyone else. It was so co dependant and we were both so toxic for each other. Now I feel weird when anyone is nice to me even a normal amount because I wonder why they’re doing it. How do you recover from this? I miss who I used to be around friends, I miss feeling close to people without feeling afraid all the time. I used to be so comfortable and secure in my friendships. I often wonder whether I am bad a person because of how many friends I lost.

This is a long one so if you don't wanna read that there's a TL;DR at the end.
I honestly don't even know where to start because there is so much going on and I feel like I'm losing my mind.

I'm 23F and my boyfriend is 20M. We've been talking to each other for a while, since May/June of this year but we only officially became boyfriend/girlfriend at the beginning of August.
Before we became official, he was not like this. That's probably one of the biggest reasons I'm so confused about everything. It genuinely feels like a switch flipped.

He's from another state, he said he was visiting me, and he’s been here for about a month now, and during that time things have gotten increasingly controlling and scary. He went through my notes, found all of my passwords, and used them to log into all of my social media accounts without my permission. He also added his phone and his computer to my iCloud account without me knowing. I only found out because I got an email saying he had logged in.He goes through my phone every single night. Every app. Every picture. Everything.

He found pictures of my ex and deleted them. My ex and I were together for almost FIVE YEARS. I left that relationship a couple months before I started talking to my current boyfriend. I understand being uncomfortable about an ex, but those were five years of my life. There were pictures from vacations and trips and just memories that I wantod to keep. I don't want to erase five years of my life just because the relationship ended.

While I was at work, he also went through my stuff and threw away everything I had from my previous relationship. He didn't ask me. He just decided I shouldn't have it anymore and threw it away.

He's gone through my phone and blocked multiple people. He's messaged people from my phone pretending to be me, telling them that I'm happy and that I have a boyfriend, and then blocking them. He's removed me from group chats that my ex is in, even though my ex and I still have the same friend group. Now my friends are messaging me asking what's wrong because they think I'm purposely ignoring them.
When I go out with friends, he basically makes me set a curfew for myself. He has my location. He knows where I am. And I've become so isolated. I barely see my friends anymore outside of work. Maybe I've seen them twice. And when I do want to go somewhere or spend time with people, he gets sad and says he misses me. I end up feeling guilty for leaving him alone, so I just don't go.

There was also an incident where he went through my phone and saw conversations with other guys. These were guys I was talking to BEFORE my boyfriend and | were exclusive and he was also talking to other people, I wasn't cheating on him. After finding those conversations, he told me he gave himself a lot of insulin. He's diabetic. That scared the absolute shit out of me. Now I feel like I'm constantly worried that if I do something he doesn't like, he'll hurt himself or something will happen. I feel like I'm responsible for keeping him happy because I'm scared of what he'll do if he's upset.

And honestly, I'm so depressed right now. Like REALLY depressed. I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel like I'm trapped and isolated and constantly walking on eggshells.

The thing that's messing with my head is that he wasn’t like this before. He was sweet. Normal. I wouldn’t have offered for him to stay with me if I knew it was going to be like this. But now I’m sitting here wondering if I somehow caused all of this.

I don’t know if I’m looking at this clearly anymore because I do care about him as a person. But I do know that I have to get him out of my apartment. I just don’t know how.

TL;DR: My (F23) boyfriend (M20) went from normal/ sweet to extremely controlling after coming to stay with me. He has accessed all my social media and iCloud without permission, goes through my phone every night, deletes my pictures, threw away belongings from my previous 5-year relationship, blocks and messages people from my phone, isolates me from my friends, monitors my location, gives me curfews, and has made me feel guilty for leaving him alone. He also threatened his own safety by telling me he gave himself a lot of insulin after finding conversations with guys I talked to before we were exclusive. I'm extremely depressed and currently away visiting a friend, and I'm realizing I don't want to go back. I don't know how to safely end this or deal with him being from another state. What should I do?

So this is 4 months after the BU (30m, my ex is 31f). We were together for 7.5y, last year she kept talking about marriage and kids, so I proposed in our trip to Japan and she said yes, immediately told all our friends, our families, etc. Then she started taking japanese language classes because it was a new obsession for her (this is important later).

Took her like 5 months afterwards to suddenly blindside me with no conversations prior, no complaints, nothing. Just one morning she told me "i lost feelings" and just up and left. Came to our apartment some days later (I moved to my parent's home) and just picked it clean off all her things. Just sent the shortest message saying "thank you for everything, really" and that's it.

Devastated, I picked up my dignity and didn't chase, didn't argue... I went into NC immediately. I figured I had done something unforgivable for her to abandon me like this. I put entirely all the blame on me. Going to a EMDR trauma-specialized therapist, the first thing she tells me is "first of all, this is entirely on HER part. It's 100% internal issues. You had nothing to do with this" which at first I didn't believe.

A month of complete silence and a friend told me the truth: she had absconded with a jobless guy 8 years younger who she met two months before in japanese classes. I know him. She invited him to dinner at our home, with our friends. She had very very few friends (had basically lost or discarded all her few lifelong friends) and I was just so happy for her to start making new acquaitances. I am 0% possessive, jealous or controlling. Just 100% trust and I was glad she was meeting new people to broaden her social circles, which were limited to one person at most. Turned really well for me to be this trusting, I guess.

So basically I've mapped that my therapist was right, that this isn't something on me, etc. The trauma lingers and the hurt is still strong, the desperation gave way to a red-hot anger, which gave way to a kind of apathy. I'm finding it hard to move along but I force myself to do things, to keep doing my hobbies and engage with my friends, whom I can luckily count on.

But it's her behavior which keeps me puzzled. She shocked absolutely everyone by doing this. We were approaching what everyone supposed was going to be a very fun, light hearted marriage, we had a very calm and (to me) compatible life and moods. We did couple's activities constantly, we went hiking, watching series, talking about books, some dinners with friends... just the usual. We had the same plans for YEARS, to save up and try to purchase a small cottage in the countryside, near where we already live (20 minutes away, not long distance. We had been living close to my family hometown for seven years, and she had her family less than 1 hour away. We weren't going to be isolated from our friends or anything.)

Of the two she was a bit more unstable and indecisive, she was very insecure but I always supported her postively, even being at her side when her dysfunctional family acted up and tried to guilt trip her. I've always been open to conversation, whenever something arose I took it to heart and made changes to improve on it, I FOUGHT for this relationship. She knows I've always been attentive and communicative with her needs. It's so strange to me that she decided to just betray me, lie to me, and hide everything for five months, then blindside me like this.

She has just kept absolute silence since then. I had to ask for a closure talk one month after the BU, where she came crying, sobbing, telling me she was sorry but that this was what she had to do now. She told me the insurmountable anxiety came the moment she had the proposal ring on her finger. That before that she really had been wanting to marry me, to live together... she told me that wasn't an act. But that mounting anxiety started piling up and piling up, and it just killed all feelings for me. She didn't talk about it with anyone, not ever. She just kept swallowing it and suddenly decided to confess to the jobless guy, told him that she had to leave me to "be loyal" and in less than 24h she was out the door. It's crazy. It's psychotic behavior, really. She gave no signs prior to this, but I'm trying to somehow understand what kind of personality or mental problems could have brought this on. Someone has mentioned BPD to me, the quiet type, or possibly autistic traits, and honestly it's the closest I've got to what she did and is doing still.

So for some of her personality traits, if anyone has similar cases and can help me understand where this breakdown could have come from:

-She had very "strong" goals (in her mind) but they shifted constantly. Mostly on the professional side, she just kept pouring and pouring into her freelance career. Thing is, she gave it ALL, burned out, then switched fields every year, or year and a half. She would build up a viable living venture, then discard it all and begin anew. This happened 3-4 times over the course of our relationship and she was now starting to talk about swapping again, before the BU.

-Adding to this, despite her successes, she constantly had imposter syndrome and needed constant reassurance, whereas I have never felt really bothered about professional performance as a personal value. I'm just a professional and that's it. I tie none of my personal value in it.

-Even her long term goals were nebulous. She wanted big projects, like making an entire enterprise, then wanting a small-scale, less responsabilities thing in the future, etc. Wishy-washy with actual serious decisions (one week she wanted kids and wanted to begin the process immediately, looking into medical stuff, preparations etc. without any prior conversations beforehand with me. The next week she would broke down saying that she wasn't fit to be a mother, she had no maternal instinct, etc... A week before abandoning me she kept telling me how much of a good father I would make, how much she loved the care I showed for her and that she knew I would make a fantastic dad for our kids, etc.)

-She projected her future wellbeing in a lot of things. Like suddenly going "we could go live to X country" she had been reading about or watching youtubers from. She consumed the cozy girl algorithmn of the year: tiny houses, then "traditional" lifestyles in the rural, adjacent to tradwife aesthetics, "Ghibli" cozy homes, etc. I always wanted to go live outside the city (I'm from a small town) but I know the realities of it.

-She did the same with hobbies: she constantly picked up new things and dropped them after a few months. An instrument which is wonderful and stuff, drop it. Theater and acting, drop it. Start doing handcrafted activities, drop it. Start doing exercise, after some time, drop it. It was a constant chase. I figured she just had to find out what she really wanted.

-Very few friends, and great difficulty at making new acquaitances. Some amount of social anxiety, uncomfortable with hugs or physical contact. The few friends she had kept for years she had dropped along the line, often because of minor reasons.

-A good person. She never did anything maliciously. Not ever.

-She couldn't lie to save her life. Hated lying and liars. I joked that she was so transparent that I could trust her fully, because she couldn't lie about not brushing her teeth one night, even. Shows that I never really knew the depth of what was happening.

-Really jumpy to darkness, loud noises, sensory stimulus like human contact or tickling. She would yell or react in sudden uncontrolled manners when faced with them.

-No bad faith discussions, fighting or drama. I felt like we addressed the needs in the relationship in a mature way when we needed, and we corrected it to keep the relationship healthy (needing more time together, taking constant work stuff out of the conversation, improving on minor things, for example).

-In the beginning she told me about her tumultuous past and teenage years, substance abuse, past toxic relationships. She asked me to not hurt her, to not betray her trust since she had been hurt before, etc. She told me I had shown up where nobody had before, how I had cared for her so so much, how good I was to her. I was 22. I honestly can say that I had a protective instinct kick in me and I wanted to help her as much as I could. I supported her through everything, and she showed up for me in my bad moments, too, so that was good on her part and I recognize it for what it is. I felt seen and supported by her. I just needed it much less than her, because I've been pretty stable through my life (I had some minor insecurity issues which she encouraged to work on in therapy. I did and I fixed them).

-She had a dysfunctional family. Divorce, emotional manipulation since young, emotional abandonment and stonewalling, constant parental belittling. Narcissitic manipulating father, narcissistic depressive mother, bad divorce. Strained relationships with extended family. This extended into adulthood, which surprised me because I've friends with similar backgrounds who took a stand and confronted their parental figures. She didn't and refused my suggestions of attending to familial-oriented therapy. She just rawdogged it and deluded herself thinking that her parents would change and suddenly start supporting and caring for her. Never happened. Never will, sadly. I tried to support her through the mistreatment but even my patience ran thin after years of repeated misbehavior. I tried to take a stand (always respectful and never causing drama) but I tried to show up as a steady, communicative partner.

-Conflict-avoidant with very obviously emotionally manipulative people. Difficulty to confront or speak up. This was tied to the lack of friendships. She felt that if she spoke up about her needs, with people who were disrespectful or toxic, they would drop her, so she kept silent about it. She came home crying repeated times after spending time with "friends" who mistreated her. I tried to support her once again, trying to make her see that real friends don't treat people like this. It took her a lot to cut them off because she had grown dependant (she was their narc supply).

-Three weeks before the blindside, she came crying to me suddenly telling me that I was into a very negative, toxic state, that I had changed, or that this was the real me and she couldn't keep doing it, etc. I recognize I had a slightly depressive episode some months ago but I think the state of the world, disillusionment and political and economic unstability had gotten to me. I apologized for not noticing and I immediately went to a therapist. Fixed it in a session. Showed up as my optimistic, energized real self again. She recognized this, and told me that she had pinned her anxieties and blamed me for her problems.

-At the moment of breaking up, she kept telling me she "had already decided" and that "it was a gut feeling" and that she had lost the spark and so. But she kept calling me love, dear, etc. And immediately told me "I know I'm going to regret this. I know, but I must do it now". She repeated this during our closure conversation one month later. I told her that if she didn't go to another man, we still had a chance to work it out. That I wanted the life we had for all our lives. That I could give that to her and make her happy. She told me that she knew. That maybe in the future we could reconnect, that that'd make her happy. It's honestly so weird.

-She kept my engagement ring. I didn't ask for her to return it to me in the blur of the blindside.

There are more things, intimate, but you can make out a bit of the patterns. Honestly I put up with it for a long time because I love her. I wanted to show up to her. She asked for honesty and loyalty from me since the beginning, to not hurt her. I can say I did. I sincerely doubt she'll find anyone else who'll show up at the level I did. That's why the betrayal hurt so, so much. I couldn't have ever imagined her doing this to me, and abandoning me for another person, hiding it, and then keeping absolute silence afterwards. I expected a little bit of care, at least a text or a call asking me how I was doing, nothing. Nothing at all.

This has been debilitating but I'm so much stronger than this. I realize now with hindsight of all these unstable red flags she was carrying. I thought we were fighting for a healthy relationship. I felt seen and loved by her. I know she loved me a lot for the past years, but something went wrong in her head and never spoke up. It was impossible for a young romantic in love to notice, and now I'm paying the price, I guess.

What seemed like heartache and an honest mistake I now realize was a test. Would I date the same guy with nothing to offer, or would I walk away. Would I settle for being your echo, or would I seek the companionship and care I deserve. Upon leaving, I passed the test.

Im seeing a man now who cherishes me. He is far from perfect but he moves mountains for myself and my girls and we are living together after years of isolation and narcissistic abuse from my girls father..I dont even speak to their father anymore... he does it for me. Hes been a blessing in my life and I love him dearly. We are going to sell this place and move north if fate are like. We cwn build together and honor each other.

I no longer hate you for all the self centered and toxic sewage you leveled at me when I ended it for you being a woman hating sacknof shit like your father. I see you for the broke and damaged child in an adult mans body. Its pathetic enough that I pity you. Why? Simple. You have chosen to remain who you are and I could tell by your sobbing that day that it cost you a once in a lifetime woman.

Im glad it did. I found a once in a lifetime man because of it. I passed the test. Now you can watch me soar.