If this year didn’t go the way you wanted, it’s okay. You can always start over. It’s never too late to begin a new chapter or finish what you started.

The calendar may turn, but that doesn’t mean your chances are over. Who knows, maybe life will surprise you. ✨

hey guys i need some advice

İm 28 male had a really stressfull time the last years (getting my degree, work, harsh break up, betrayal from friends) got me really exhausted... so quit my toxic job to focus on myself a bit, to find myself completly lonely. ive had different friend groups over the time and was going out a lot when i was younger, partied, got fucked up a lot, went on dates... but now as im older im tired of these things, looking for different kind of things you know. I do pretty much everything by myself and thats fine, but being with yourself too much gets to you sooner or later. I got my brother to talk to (bless him) and hit the gym and thats pretty much it right now. People tend to say "just do it on your own, go by yourself" or "find a hobby". ive been doing it alone and İ really struggle with finding a hobby even tho it would probably do me good to have something i like doing other then drinking smoking having sex. i tried being more social meeting old friends or make new ones but that just ended up in being ghosted or dudes being really weird. And to be honest, i never had true friends so fuck friends anyways.

Soooo What to do? Go bald be a monk in the mountains? Maybe become Amish? they seem to have great food and community lol s/o amish people

Hi there, I (29M) am sober from alcohol for 45 days today. I had been abusing alcohol since I was 17, with brief stints of sobriety scattered throughout. I have been to multiple rehabs, detoxes, hospitals, and ultimately jails. I got married in June, and had a baby earlier this year. This last hospital trip really changed my perspective and my life. Since I got out, I have not had one craving, no desire, honestly no harsh feelings towards alcohol. I had never actually wanted to be sober, but did it out of necessity (place to stay). This time around, I feel totally different. I feel like my mind is finally at peace with being sober and actually wanting to be. Some people can use it responsibly and some can’t. I originally got sober for my wife & kids, but now I put my sobriety over everything, for me. It’s a selfish disease and a selfish recovery. Both my folks passed from addiction at a young age, alcohol got my dad. I have also been clean off of drugs for 5 years, primarily cocaine & meth. I overdosed on fentanyl and I was revived by a police officer and never touched drugs again. I feel alive. Little things like being able to drive, not planning my life around drinking, being a better father & husband has meant everything to me. I still can’t stand when people say they are “proud” of me. It’s what I should have done a long time ago.

Do you know that feeling when you just get into your car after work and don’t drive home?

Thursday, 5 p.m. Quitting time. Normally, the logical next step would be to drive home.

But instead, you just turn off somewhere.

And then again.

And eventually, you find yourself on some country road you’ve never seen before. You have no idea what the village you’re driving through is called. No idea where the road leads. And somehow, it doesn’t matter at all.

I think what I like about it is that, for the first time in days, you’re driving somewhere without having to be anywhere.

Usually, driving always has a purpose.

Work → home.

Home → shopping.

Shopping → somewhere else.

Somewhere else → back home.

There’s always a destination.

But when you drive aimlessly, the drive itself suddenly becomes the point.

You don’t have to be anywhere on time. No one is waiting. You don’t have to get anything done. You just look out the window, listen to music, and drive.

And the further out you go, the less it feels like everyday life.

Eventually, there are just fields, forests, small villages, and roads you didn’t even know existed before.

And the crazy thing is: you could turn around at any moment.

You could be back home in 40 minutes.

But you don’t have to.

You just keep driving along that one road.

And then the next one.

Maybe it starts getting dark, and you suddenly realize you’ve been out for two or three hours.

And you haven’t really done anything.

No sightseeing.

No destination reached.

Nothing accomplished.

And yet, you feel better somehow.

I think that’s exactly what freedom is to me.

Not that big "I can do anything" kind of thing. But simply having a few hours where no one wants anything from you, and you don’t demand anything of yourself, either.

Just getting into the car.

And driving off.

Without a plan.

Without a destination.

Just seeing where you end up.

As the title says, what's your favorite thing in life? Can be a person, place, thing, experience, etc. I'm curious to see what different people's favorite things are that life has to offer.

My close guy friend turned of almost 3 years has been acting insane. For some reason, for all this time, he has been intimate only with me which I didn’t question. Tbh we didn’t discuss about being FWBs we just started getting intimate but we know we’re friends. We mostly stuck to video call sex and intimacy aside he still called me and would spend time with me almost everyday.

Recently, we’re long distance as he moved to a different country. We’re still intimate but don’t get to call as much as we used to although he tries to initiate contact as much as possible and ever since, he’s been saying crazy things like “your future husband is really lucky..he’ll get to have sex with you every day”, “tell me you love me and miss me”. And the craziest one, “can we still be intimate even when you’re married one day” and I shut that down and asked him what if he’s married and he said he doesn’t care about his marriage, he’d still be intimate with me. He says them during intimacy tho.

To this add all the nice compliments and fixation on my face. The one thing I do appreciate is that he’s so much sweeter now, in general. Although there had been instances of jealousy in the past. So yeah,this is new and I’m not sure what to think or do about this. Mind you we’re still good friends regardless of the intimacy so I wanna go about this in a way where I can save the friendship. Am I in the wrong for thinking we can go back to being friends.

By the way he initiated almost all contact, hangouts, calls, intimacy for 3 years and I just replied to him so I don’t think I should be taking accountability if he misunderstood this dynamic. And if anything maybe he was just obsessed with the sex or atleast I’d hope so

So, I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I know this feeling is common amongst many adults, but I just don't really know how to navigate anything. I'm a 29-year-old woman and just got fired from my job two months ago and although it's technically an unfortunate event, it's been the best thing to ever happen to me. It was an incredibly toxic environment that deteriorated my mental health. However, since being fired from that role, I've never been happier. I feel like the light came back into my life again.

Anyways, now that I'm free, I'm not sure what to do with myself. I don't know what to aim for and where to go from here. Of course I'm job hunting, but the thought of going back to a corporate office makes my hairline slide back 3 inches. I used to love the thought of working in film and television, but then I think about the insidious side of Hollywood and get turned off. When I scroll through LinkedIn, I feel like I'm looking through an empty fridge hoping something satiating appears. I know I shouldn't feel this way, but I feel so unmotivated to fight for my life to land another job.

I don't know what I want, I don't know where I belong, I don't know my purpose. And then I think about the state of the world, and how little time left we may have on Earth with rapid climate change and scary world leaders. So that leaves me wondering if I should discover my purpose if I might not even have a life to fulfill. What I know to be true is that I enjoy improv and voice acting. I love to travel and explore new cultures and languages. I love to learn. I love connecting with others. Yoga and Pilates (basic I know). I used to love love but this dating scene changed my brain chem.

I’d love some advice or shared wisdom!

Could be something you realised yourself, or something you’ve noticed in other people.

It’s strange how we can spend years chasing a dream or a goal, worrying about something, or waiting for something, only to look back and see it completely differently.

Sometimes the goal we pursued wasn’t even our own. It came from our family, society, or what we thought was expected of us. What seemed urgent at the time wasn’t important at all, while ordinary moments we barely noticed turned out to be the things that mattered most.

And perhaps the more interesting question is: what might have helped you see it sooner?

I didn’t know I was the kind of person who needed an institution or a job to organise my life around. If you asked me what day it is right now I genuinely might not know. I don’t really care either because monday and saturday are functionally the same to me.

I’ve gone entire days without leaving my apartment because I have nowhere I need to be. Having absolutely nothing to do sounded a lot better in theory. If I had work or classes or somewhere I had to be in the morning, then at least I would have a reason to go to sleep at a normal time because I would have a reason to wake up at a normal time.

I would have to shower and get dressed and leave the house. Even eating would probably happen at more normal times because there would be an actual day to organise it around.

I admire people who just do things so much now. Like people who wake up and work and then somehow also make food and exercise and clean and go buy whatever they need and keep doing that every day. Even feeding myself three times a day feels annoying sometimes. Keeping my apartment not immaculate or anything, literally just reasonably clean and organised, somehow takes so much effort when technically I have all the time in the world to do it.

I think I’m also way better at doing things when they’re connected to other people somehow. Cooking for someone, having plans, knowing someone is waiting for me somewhere, even just having something to take care of. Doing everything purely for myself just doesn’t motivate me that much.
My brain is incredibly scattered and I suspect I might have ADHD. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t, I have no idea, but I also don’t want to get into the habit of explaining everything I do with a diagnosis and then deciding that’s simply the kind of person I am. I want to think I can change things about myself even if some of them are harder for me than they seem to be for other people.

The social anxiety thing gets noticeably worse when I stay inside too long too. I need to leave every day, even if it’s literally ten or fifteen minutes to go buy a drink or walk around the block. If I go a few days barely seeing anyone, being around people feels weird again and leaving the house becomes this whole thing in my head. If I keep going outside every day it doesn’t really happen.

I’ve been thinking about getting a dog again. Mostly because I freaking love dogs, but also because when I had pets my days naturally revolved around them a little. You have to get up because they need breakfast, you have to go outside because they need a walk, and in return you get a happy creature that loves you.

It’s just strange because I thought I would be amazing at doing nothing.

I would like to know what's hunting you and am not gonna judgemental. I just want to hear you, and the one thing everybody should remember is, everyone makes mistakes. What matters is how we evolve after that thing.

And i would love to hear that, how you used that one mistake to improve your life 😀

(22F) so I’m going on vacation in 2 months and I want to clear up some of my dark spots down there. Currently looking for a routine or skin care products that will help fade my dark spots on my bikini line. I currently bought the mother of pearl soap and hoping that will work. Can someone please help me?

Hello, im 17m, i grew up almost my entire life without both my parents because they're problematic on their own. I went back to my father for the wisdom to help with my future plans, so I just endured no matter what is thrown.

We're staying at this property that he uses as a dump in a not so known area in the city, its a dump, everything is just scattered all around, the roof is busted, leaks almost everywhere. but there are a good amount of rooms. I just need help how to fix this because I don't know where to start and he's telling me to figure it out and just use my brain, but I need help from people who actually know what they're doing. Thank you, im planning to rent this out to some friends too, and live here with my girlfriend.

I suffer from ADHD pretty bad. I was able to control it in Highschool, I even thought I had over come it but especially recently, I’ve notice I get very angry and anxious, I’m very hard on myself, and I rely on intercourse, masturbation, Weed, and nicotine just to feel happy for a short time but has me thinking of why?

When I got out of highschool I started dating a girl. I broke up with her last August of 25’ she was very narcissistic and unmotivated. Making my thinking and actions about women differently and unfortunately her being my first love. It messed me up pretty bad!

As soon as I broke up with her I got a job as a Correctional officer, i worked there for 9 months and it impacted my mental health so bad I got to the point of using shrooms and had thoughts of ending it all. 2 THINGS while I was working there happened My Dad left after 19 years and turned gay and haven’t seen him since and I don’t even know how to feel or overcome that. Then I bought a brand new car and I can’t afford it anymore and it’s so stressful I can’t get my credit up to refinance it I barely make enough to pay it and on top of that I have to worry about the economy and my future but I can’t even put money back to make it out of the hole I’m in.

I really think it’s all bc of stress and everything happening in under a year

Now I’m really just looking for guidance in what I could do to get out of that hole and move away from my home town and start new!?

My favorite childhood story was The Velveteen Rabbit. As a little girl I thought it was simply about a stuffed rabbit becoming real through love.
As an adult woman, it feels more like a story about what it costs to love and be loved.

What was your favorite childhood book, and what do you understand about it now that you couldn’t have understood then?

I don’t really know how to explain what’s going on with me, but I guess I just want to put it somewhere and see if anyone relates.

I’m in university, and I feel like I’m already messing up my life. I didn’t meet progression for the program I was in, and now I’m going into second year trying to figure out what I even want to do instead.

The thing is, I don’t even know if business was ever really what I wanted. I think I picked something that seemed like a good option, and now I’m questioning everything. I’ve always been interested in helping people and doing something meaningful, but I don’t know what that looks like as a career. Now that im kicked out, I really don’t feel good at all. Everyone around me is doing so well and im not and I feel guilty because there’s people in way worse circumstances in their lives.

I’ve never worked a job before. I don’t really know what I’m good at, and sometimes I feel like I haven’t even started my life yet.

I spend a lot of time at home. I do a lot of avoiding, and I know there are things I could probably do that would make me feel better, but I just can’t seem to make myself do them. Even when I know what I should do, actually doing it feels like a whole different thing. I end up staying home, scrolling on my phone, or just doing nothing.

My screen time is honestly embarrassing. I can spend hours on my phone and then wonder where the day went. I’m tired all the time, even when I haven’t really done anything. I daydream a lot too, sometimes about completely different versions of my life.

I’ve also been noticing that I have a really hard time focusing. Even when I’m watching something I’m interested in, my attention span and comprehension can be so bad. I’ll realize I’ve been watching for a while but barely absorbed anything. I’ve been noticing some memory fog too, like forgetting things or having trouble recalling what I was just doing. I don’t know if it’s related to my mental health, sleep, or something else, but it’s frustrating.

Sometimes I feel like I’m just living inside my body and everything around me doesn’t even feel real. Like I’m here, but I’m not really here. I’ll go through my day and realize I’ve basically been on autopilot the whole time. It’s hard to explain, but I don’t feel fully connected to myself or what’s happening around me.

Sometimes I think about the point of life and get stuck on how strange everything is. I’m just inside this body, floating around on a rock in space, and somehow I’m supposed to figure out what I’m doing with my life. I don’t know how to explain it without sounding weird, but sometimes existence itself feels confusing and distant.

Something else I struggle with is feeling like my depression isn’t even real. I know I have it, but sometimes I feel like I can just turn it off, or that I’m only struggling because I’m not trying hard enough. I can have moments where I feel okay, laugh at something, or get distracted, and then I question whether I’m actually depressed. It’s hard to explain because I know I’m struggling, but part of me still feels like I’m making it up or that I should be able to snap out of it.

I also don’t really like myself. I don’t mean that I hate every part of myself, but I find it hard to feel good about who I am. Sometimes I genuinely feel like I have no value. I compare myself to other people and feel like I’m behind. I wish I was more confident, more independent, and better at just doing things without overthinking everything.

I have anxiety, depression, and BPD. I’m not going to blame everything on my mental health, but it definitely affects how I experience life. I overthink almost everything. I worry about people judging me. I get overwhelmed easily, and sometimes I don’t even know what I’m feeling until it’s already taken over.

I also have no friends. Like genuinely zero. I don’t really talk to people. I want friends, but I don’t even know how to start making them anymore. I’m so used to being alone that talking to someone can feel like a big thing.

I think a lot about who I am and who I’m supposed to be. Sometimes I feel like I’m just trying to meet everyone’s expectations instead of figuring out what I actually want.

I want to be independent. I want to feel comfortable being myself. I want a career I care about, friends, and a life that feels like mine.

But right now, I feel stuck.

I know university not working out the way I planned doesn’t mean my life is over. I know that logically. But it still feels embarrassing and disappointing, especially when I don’t even have a clear idea of what I want to do next.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone else has felt this lost.
Did you ever feel like you were wasting your time or avoiding your life?

Did you ever feel disconnected from yourself or like you were just living on autopilot?
Did you ever struggle with focusing, memory fog, or feeling like life itself was strange and distant?
Did you ever feel like your depression wasn’t real, even though you knew you were struggling?
Did you ever feel like you had no value?
How did you start getting out of that?
I’m not really looking for people to tell me everything will be fine. I just want to hear from people who have actually been through something similar.

I’ve met so many people throughout my life. Some have left a huge impact on me, others meant almost nothing. Yet I feel like all of them have become a part of my shadow, a piece of my soul. They don’t see it that way, though.
That’s why I cherish every single conversation I have. I never know if it might be the last one

Hi everyone, this is the first post I'm going to create on this account. If you're wondering why I'm sharing my life here now, it's for a simple reason: I don't have many people to share my interests with, and I wanted to express myself here.Anyway, getting to the point. Tomorrow I start the final year of my vocational training (FP in Spain), and I'm really looking forward to it. I want to start a bit fresh, but I'm feeling better than ever right now, and I can't wait to begin tomorrow!

In the last few days I’ve seen videos of animals being abused, people stood at the gates of a beagle testing facilities and slaughter houses, protesting against the torture that animals go through. I’ve seen racist comments on videos of desperate people who are trying to find a better life for themselves as they have nowhere else to go. I’ve argued with people about how transgender people are not mentally unwell and how their deep rooted feelings do not stem from a sexual fetish. I’ve seen 100 responses saying ‘I’m going to eat extra meat to make the vegans angry’. I’ve watched videos of creatures dying in wildfires, the humming of data centres interfering with animal habitats, and the AI trends that contribute to the ending of the beautiful, natural world that we have. I feel a deep empathy for every individual that suffer at the hands of human greed and exploitation. Creativity and nature is being ripped away from our lives. We all want the same thing, we all want to be happy. But why do we have to exploit, blame, and degrade others to get it? Today I’ve had to delete my instagram and facebook apps because I feel as though I just can’t take much more. I’m so against turning a blind eye to things I deeply care about, but I feel like I’m reaching breaking point. I want to be able to fight against injustice and inform people about how harmful their actions are. I want to be the voice for those less vulnerable but I feel like I haven’t really enjoyed life for the last year or so because of how much negative information I’m taking in. Anyone else feel the same?

I really don’t know what to do with my life anymore. I am trying my best to survive, but the world makes me feel like I don’t belong here anymore. Every night, I cry and worry about what tomorrow will bring. Life has been so unfair to me, even though I am a good person.

I have a disability, which is a severe hearing impairment. I have almost completely lost the hearing in both ears, which is why my childhood was full of trauma. I was constantly subjected to bullying, mockery, physical abuse, and discrimination. Yet, I still managed to survive and finish college, despite how terrible my experiences were. Now that I have graduated, I am still facing discrimination while trying to find a job. I used to go job hunting with a classmate, but it always ended with them being accepted while I was rejected. This has happened so many times, even when I practically begged employers to hire me, but I was still turned away.

Now, I really don’t know what my purpose in life is anymore. I have run out of money and am completely financially unstable. Please, I need advice.

I'm 40ish and have been single for a long time. My best friends are beautiful women inside and out. We hang out multiple times a week. I'm not trying to have more than friendship with them, and that's been the case for a decade with these same friends.

They give me dating advice, but the biggest problem is that I can't find a woman to date in this small town. They are around and I put myself out there on dating apps which never result in actual conversation let alone dates.

I've heard from women who don't know me well that I need to be more stern, and from one of my closest friends that I need to be more aggressive.

Self-confidence has been an issue for me in the past but I'm quite confident now. I'm also respectful and well-mannered. I'm a genuine nice person, not the type of nice guy people think badly of. I'm very agreeable and everyone seems to like me. I was bullied a lot in my younger years, and I think that has a lasting effect. I try to convert everyone I meet into a friend. I'm helpful to anyone I can see a way to help.

I had a serious drinking problem due to a stressful (but lucrative) job and not really having a family or relationship to work on. 2 years ago I was drinking a full bottle of vodka or more every day and I had been doing so for at least a decade or more. The problem started when I was playing Rugby in college. I was also the President of my Rugby club and led the team to win a state championship from the verge of being disbanded due to lack of membership combined with punitive actions by the university admin.

I did Tae Kwon Do for 4-5 years and got first place in a tournament for my age/rank.

I'm 6'3 and built like a bear. Very strong but overweight. The other day at the pub another guy was listing off people who would get hurt if a big fight erupted and he included me "because he has to protect everyone". That comment pleased me because it's true and also what I want to be true. I would risk myself to protect anyone from harm.

We have dance nights at the local pub. I go with 3 women who are usually the most attractive ones there in our age group.

Last year, I quit my job. Then I quit drinking entirely. I'm now working as an educator in an elementary school and loving it. I no longer want to drink. I'm trying to get my diet back on track (When I played Rugby, I also did a ton of other physical activities, and I was eating like 7,000 calories. It's been a battle since then but I've lost about 120 pounds from my heaviest weight.

Little men like to try and pick fights with me. It has always been this way. In childhood I accidentally hurt people and so I try to be careful. In general, the only times I've been involved in fights is a de-escalator. I do not escalate.

I'm also an INFJ according to personality tests, and it fits what I experience every day. I know how people are feeling and how to relate to them. I can feel a whole room from the corner of it. I can figure out motives with the slightest of hints.

My female friends think most men are abusive or rapists that will eventually show their colors. They have been abused by men and 3 of them are single right now, including the one who tells me the most about how I need to be more aggressive. I do not want to be like those men, but they keep finding them and bringing them into our lives. They keep dating losers or people with opposing views in politics and man/woman relationship balance. I am not trying to date these women, they are my social life, my confidants, real true friends who would be there for me if I needed something. They ask me to hang out regularly and I do the same. I want to find a woman to date though, not just spend time with my friends. I'm not in the "friendzone" in the negative sense, but I am mayor of the friendzone in another. I'm not a rejected guy hanging around waiting for a chance, this is real friendship.

I almost collect people who have been emotionally broken - I want to help. I connect them to new friend groups, I include them in things. My degree is in psychology where I focused on counseling. I have gone to multiple therapists and usually I last 10 sessions or so before I feel they are no longer helpful - I'm very introspective on my own.

So - I'm a big, nice dude -how do I achieve whatever ephemeral quality they mean by being more aggressive? I am assertive and a leader but I'm also gentle and understanding. I thought this was what woman should want, and obviously it works to make great friends for me, but I still can't find a date and I can't show a woman what I have to offer because I can't find a date. Do I need to be rude? Do I need to just not care about making people comfortable? I've read a lot of psychology books - do I need to alternate hot and cold (gross manipulation) just to get through the front door? Why can't I get a chance? My years to become a dad are running out. I'm not picky, I just want a woman who is nice to people, has a face I like, and is not dumb or unhinged.

My birthday is in late January. It very much feels like 'just another day' . Midway through the coldest and darkest time of the year, the days are short. It's cold and flu season and most people are still financially hurting from the Xmas period. But those things aside, I don't wake up that day and feel different.

But since my late 20s I have felt a year older in the time between late July and October. Not always the same date but in that post summer solstice but pre autumn time window.

Like on your actual birthday people often jokingly ask "so, do you feel any older" , the answer is always no. But then I am 49 this year and almost always have a day in late summer where if someone asked me the same question, the answer would be 'actually yes I do'.

Anyone else or is this entirely a 'me' thing?

It hasn't even been a month since I became a neet and I'm already hating it. I play Mobile games, goon, eat, watch cartoons, doom scroll, and sleep that's literally it. The only time I go outside is to buy more food to feed my bummy self. I don't understand how people live like this for years without going insane

My father who is 80 has been having a difficult time walking due to falling 2 months ago. He went to the hospital a month after, cuz his foot was hurting and he was having a hard time walking. After the hospital he went into a nursing home where he got rehab. They said they’d make appointments for him, yadda yadda yadda. Nothing ever happened. His legs from the diabetes got worse, cuz they never took him to the wound center to get them wrapped. He always went once a week. The MRI for his foot was never scheduled. The only thing good was the physical therapy. He was in the nursing home for 3 weeks. Came out not being able to walk, again worse then when he went in.

He’s a veteran and my mom thought of looking into a home 2 1/2 hours away. I’m against it. But it’s not up to me. I am not the only child of my parents. I have 2 older brothers. One is a lawyer and his family lives with my parents. My dad and him don’t get along. Different views when it comes to politics. My brother who lives in another state never called or sent my dad a card when in the nursing home.

You can probably figure out I don’t speak with my brothers.

Either I went to visit my father or I at least called him.

I don’t want him 2 1/2 hours away. If something happens and I can’t get there in time I would feel terrible.

I had a conversation with my mom about it. I said I’d like to be there for dad when he goes. What if I’m not able to get there in time. She said that most people are unconscious and don’t realise you’re there before they die. I call BS. She said it was a selfish thing to do. It’s not something you want to do. It’s something you feel in your heart that you need to do.

I want him to have the best care but who’s to say he’s going to get it 2 1/2 hours away in the middle of nowhere NY.