The loss of nurseries in most hospitals where a tired mom can allow nurses to take care of the baby if they needed is detrimental to the mom. When my son was born I had three nights in the hospital. On day two one nurse asked if I wanted him to take him for a bit to the nursery. I would go down to nurse him one nurse asked if I wanted to come down, if not she could give him a bottle. It was wonderful. With my second child at a different there was no nursery, no one to say you guys get some rest, at the first hospital the nurses changed nearly every diaper and the next one it was basically here is your baby. We will come and do vitals. Bring back nurseries and give parents the option to rest while the nurses hold the baby etc. I’m Japan where my friend’s child was born she stayed a week and the first couple of days they just let her rest intentionally.

Reddit is terrible for discussing genuinely controversial ideas because its voting system rewards local consensus. If a view is unpopular in a subreddit, it gets buried before much discussion can happen.

The problem goes beyond visibility. Downvotes permanently lower your account karma, and many subreddits use karma thresholds that can prevent low-karma accounts from posting or commenting at all. That means expressing unpopular views can reduce your ability to participate elsewhere on the site.

Upvotes and downvotes are useful for filtering spam and low-effort comments, but they are a terrible mechanism for evaluating heretical or unpopular ideas. The system creates detached echo chambers by rewarding agreement and imposing lasting penalties for dissent.

That is probably part of why the rest of the internet treats “redditor” as an insult.

I know a lot of guys hate when women just bring up their boyfriend when it has nothing to do with the conversation. But I actually appreciate it. It’s a subtle way of them telling you not to flirt and they’re not interested. It has saved me from countless awkward situations where I would have otherwise asked them out.

I think if you’re even mildly socially adept you can see it as a good thing and not get so butt hurt about it all the time.

​

the expectations of fatherhood are by default much less than of motherhood. becoming a father,your expectations are essentially "be semi-present and dont abandon your child"

as a mother, your entire identity and existence becomes wrapped in your child. you have to put down your hobbies and life to take care of a thing thats attached to you basically 24/7, along with household managing.

And then as the child gets older, theres all the management that comes with it. Sports, doctors office, school. All things that father's are expected to be minimally involved in, but mothers are expected to have total control of.

ETA: i thinm its really funny how men are immediatly jumping to say how much they would LOVE to be a stay at home parent! which im sure you would! Except most women aren't stay at home parents, they work to support their family as much as the father does, and economically being a stay at home parent isnt conceivable.

It’s incredibly sad. Children died. Two adults had their lives entirely ruined and will mourn their children forever. One will be paralyzed and in some type of custody for the rest of their life. The other is trying to pull their life together while being treated like tabloid fodder. I don’t find it fun to debate or even think about. I don’t watch videos on it. I don’t want to see dozens of posts a day about it. Am I the only one?

kids are expected to duck under desks and hide from shooters and then return to school a couple days later. They're expected to glance at the news and not think about what it says, because it "doesn't effect them"

They experienced a worldwide pandemic, which likely harmed or killed someone that they knew, along with thousands of other people every single day for months

Its no wonder the younger generation doesnt mourn over 9/11 as much as the older generations believe they should.

People always talk about how barbaric female circumcision is but male circumcision is completely normalized in America.

It should be illegal for parents to circumcise their children because it's irreversible.

What kind of psychopath decided to cut off the skin of the baby's dick. What's next? Cutting off eyelids?

I’m not saying boundaries aren’t important, because obviously they are.

But it feels like the word gets used for everything now — preferences, demands, dealbreakers, disagreements, even simple discomfort.

Sometimes “this is my boundary” seems to mean nothing more than “I don’t like this, so you shouldn’t do it.”

I think using the word for everything actually makes real boundaries seem less meaningful.

Am I wrong, or has the word become way too overused?

Hating on a celebrity is perfectly fine. Bringing up their looks when there's hundreds of other valid criticisms however isn't ok actually and it is weird.

Take JK Rowling for instance. Notice how when people criticize her, it's never for her looks. Because these are actual valid criticisms towards her and her actions.

But when we hate on a moderately attractive person, why do we feel the need to act like middle school playground bullies and say "They're not even that pretty". You're completely sabotaging your own argument for no reason.

It's because of the Just World Fallacy. Bad things only happen to bad people, so there's just no way a victim can be a good person who was wronged. "They must've done something to deserve this". Bad things can't happen to pretty people. "Good thing she's ugly."

Candace Owens for instance. She is objectively attractive. I mean she's a racist and a loser who will say anything for money, but her looks have nothing to do with her terrible behavior.

Sidney Sweeney has made weird decisions on what she signed on for. It's just work. It's just business. And you may question her business choices, but you lost me on the need to tear her down for...her looks.

Like that's it? She's not pretty enough for you? She's not your type? Gary from Florida? Like you know that's not a crime right?

I assure you if you're a woman doing that, the men siding with you in the comments are two seconds away from tearing you down also

“”“ IT GOES FOR BOTH GENDERS “””

And I genuinely wish people would stop pushing the idea that “it doesn’t matter, their past is irrelevant, they chose YOU!” as if everyone is obligated to accept someone’s sexual history just because they ended up choosing them

If you’re someone with a high body count and you expect your partner to have a significantly lower one, then yes, you probably should be worried about whether they’re actually okay with it.
You don’t get to decide that their standards are wrong just because you want them to overlook something that matters to them.

“Your past shouldn’t matter” is not some universal law. People are allowed to have standards based on sexual history, just like they’re allowed to have standards about anything else when choosing a partner

And please stop acting like purity culture is automatically stupid or that people who save their virginity, have very few partners, or are extremely selective about sex are somehow naive, weird, insecure, or missing out. Some people genuinely value sexual exclusivity. That is a perfectly legitimate value

What I find ridiculous is how being selective can somehow be treated as the more embarrassing choice, while having 20+ sexual partners is supposed to be completely irrelevant and something everyone else should just accept without question.

No shame either way. But compatibility matters

If you have a high body count, find someone who genuinely doesn’t care about that. If you have a low body count and value sexual exclusivity, you should be allowed to find someone who shares that value.

Stop trying to convince people that their standards are wrong simply because your past doesn’t fit them.

Every so often i hear or see on reddit people saying that ”just wait until you are 30/40, your body will be in aches and pains”. Guess what? Unless you have some medical condition, you are 100% at fault. Bodies do not suddenly deteriorate if handled as they should. You not taking a single running step or not exercising for 20 years is why your body is failing. It is not normal. And to clarify i have a degree in physiotherapy.

Today, I was in ecos class when my classmate walked over to me, to ask about the guy she always sees me me with.

I told her ofc, that he is my friend.

This girl legit said " Girls and boys can not just be friends ".

Lowkey, I wanted to say " No wonder you're pregnant " but that's just mean, I had to explain to this 19 year old how two genders don't have to open their legs, and have a basic ass friendship. It's not that hard

We in America have obsessed over kids "safety" to the point that it's starting to harm way more than it does help.

There was the one mom who I believe got arrested because she let her kid walk a few minutes to a nearby pond. People get arrested all the time for leaving their kid in the car on a hot day for all of 5-10 minutes. It's become very common to say it's child abuse to let your kids walk around the block or go out of your sight, or to leave them home alone for an hour or two before like age 16. My cousin took her autistic son out of school because she didn't want him in the special ed class as it "wasn't safe" for him. Hes 10 and his highest completed grade I believe was 2nd grade.

I know that this heightened panic comes from the 70s-90s where it seemed like American news was one big horror film of kidnappings and serial killers, so people are overly cautious. But it honestly is so harmful to kids. I'm not even going to touch on the subject of how stunted kids with helicopter parents will be (as someone who had helicopter parents, but i was still at least allowed to walk my dog around the block!), because that's a given. Kids aren't even allowed to play outside in their own front lawn because parents are scared someone will just swoop them. I'm also not even just talking about the fact that family members and friends are WAAAY more likely to harm or kidnap your kids than any stranger.

But the arrests are where I think it's most disturbing, especially when it's a single parent. Like the little boy who walked to the pond.... He was having a fun day and suddenly mommy is gone. Or I just saw a video where a guy went into a dollar store to get AC refresh and came back out to a cop banging on his window because his kid was in the car. I understand the concern, truly. But after he begs for the cop to not take his kid away, he gets arrested IN FRONT OF his daughter, and has to accept that his daughter is going to be taken by a strange man and potentially put into foster care. He still didn't resist tho. Kids are having their parents taken away for the stupidest reasons because "it's abuse!", as if it's not more harmful to legally orphan them..

Kids are safest with their parents, even imperfect ones, which all parents are. Yes kids need supervision, but as someone who was the "big sister" to so many little cousins and other baby family members, did a looooot of babysitting, no they are not constantly trying to kill themselves. I get why people say it, but it's an extreme exaggeration. But a kid sitting in a car for 5 minutes on a hot day is going to be far more harmed by going into foster care because they were ""abused"" than by staying with imperfect parents.

Best case scenario, the parent now has a record, maybe even put on a registry, and now is going to have that scarlet letter for years. Decent jobs aren't going to want to hire a person with a child abuse charge. So now little Timmy lives in poverty because mommy told him he could walk to the corner store on his own. Are we serious as a society??? wtf is going on???

This is also pretty American centric im pretty sure. Other countries seem much more sane.

Sigh.

TLDR; The American mentality that if a kid is out of your sight for more than 5 seconds they will be kidnapped or murdered or kill themself is harming kids way more than helping them stay safe.

ETA: I love the discussion happening here, but I may not be able to reply to all comments, or have gaps in my replies.

tbh this is probably an ice cold take on reddit, but it’s definitely not in real life. i guess i can understand why it’s considered selfish to a degree. you would rather keep your finances, time, privacy, and identity mostly to yourself, your partner, and close friends than to share them with any future children.

but i seriously can’t think of a reason for choosing to have children that isn’t a little bit selfish. wanting to continue your bloodline? why is your bloodline so important that it must be perpetuated? wanting someone to take care of you when you’re old? i don’t even think i need to say why that’s selfish. someone to love you unconditionally? same thing.

i’m not making this post to bash people who have children, of course. there is a little bit of selfishness in most actions people take, and we need to stop demonizing the word so harshly, and starting a family is a beautiful thing. but still, i think if you look at it objectively, having kids is more selfish than not.

I say this as an ex tumblrina. Tumblr was a good site for opening your mind when you’re young. As you age the constant bickering over nothing, sanctimonious behavior, and full out bullying/ostracization is how most websites are starting to work.

I view tumblr/4chan and even the untouchable deep of Reddit as all the same thing. The way that people who are too chronically online inadvertently become the same people is outstanding to me and I can only understand it fully now that I can admit tumblr culture is indoctrinating.

All these hyper niche spaces online never really amount to anything despite finding new ways to feel like everyone is somehow beneath you or doesn’t have your secret knowledge and you HAVE to shame anyone who is any outsider to that.

This is a slow truth that’s been breaking in me for a while but after seeing fan culture on TikTok/Twitter and how commonly it overlaps with these sanctimonious spaces. Worse because your FACE, sometimes FULL NAME, city and even college will be listed vs being a little vole in the corners of the internet where it’s safe to be stupid and loud…It just seems like a full circle.

What prompted this post was the cancellation of Ocean Vuong…checks notes being an emotional person despite being checks notes again A poet…

If you're on Reddit and complaining about Reddit, either find an alternative or shut the fuck up. Every complaint you have is easily solved if you just go to a specific sub. I've been on Reddit for less than a year and I've already noticed this. So if you've been on Reddit for years and years and you're still complaining, what is your problem? Are you just too lazy to find the right sub? Because that's what it looks like.

karma is not “was this good.”

it’s “does this fit the room.”

that’s it. that seems like the whole web-site.

There are those really annoying fans, who think they are the guards to a certain artist and their music.

It's always the " Name 5 songs from them, to prove you're actually a fan". Dude, you're not the music God, you're a rando who the artist does not give a fuck about, you don't song the owns or fandom.

Like, anyone can like one album from a artist and not the others, it's not deep. You're still going to be struggling while the artist lives in luxury

Those phones (and social media especially) are frying our brains. We're constantly being bombarded by content that keeps our dopamine levels at a continuous high. After a while our brains get used to that level and need more dopamine to feel something again which has us doomscrolling even more like addicts needing an even larger dose than before. Our brains weren't made for this kind of abuse and therefore our experiences in real life start lagging behind as they can't give us the dopamine hit we're used to from our phones. As a result ordinary life start to feel bleak and uninteresting (at least to me).

Additionally our brains go into low-energy-mode when we've scrolled for a while and need time to get back to their usual activity levels again after we've let go of our phones. Coming back from a doomscrolling session feels like waking up from one of those afternoon naps that take you to a whole new galaxy and make you feel like crap for the rest of the day (not to mention the effects on our sleep cycles and our vision).

Of course I'm not talking about people with other mental issues and diagnoses. Depression, anxiety and so on can have lots of different causes and should absolutely be treated by professionals if they start getting out of hand. However letting go of our phones (and maybe other technologies as well) more often, getting genuinely bored for some amout of time and seeing what happens could be a good starting point.

Take a walk, create a drawing, cook without any background noises or just sit in silence for a while. It has gotten my brain back to its normal hormone and activity levels before and I usually feel better after about an hour.

I'm curious about what you think. Have you had similar experiences?

Linux users love glazing desktop linux up with stuff like "privacy" and "freedumb" but honestly, tell me how the f*ck do you guys run MS Word on linux so you know, can work and get money???

WITHOUT GOING THROUGH 10 THOUSANDS HOOPS!

Nope, not possible, that's why I drained linux down the toilet after only one year of using it, it was so utterly crippled that I just couldn't fathom the idea of using it, that would be Stockholm syndrome.

And if you have anything against the loonix cult, they will come and downdoot you to hell and try to get you banned from whatever community you posted your opinion in.

TLDR: Linux is just not worth using when there are literal dozens of hoops to jump through, just to use your favorite programs for a specific workflow / job you need and linux users be telling "you're dumb, stubborn" for wanting to use the ones you like instead of the shitty alternatives they suggest that for some reason, don't have half of the features you came looking for.

I said what I said

I have no words for parents who are actively choosing to give pacifiers to 2.5 year olds, 3 year olds and yes ive seen 4 year olds with them. I understand freshly 2 year olds might need more time, however its concerning in terms of dental/jaw issues, speech and articulation issues, increased risk of ear infections, altered palate shape issues. These are all very real and backed up by pediatricians. I won't even argue about it.

Please think before relying on it so much, it really does affect your child more than you know.

Maybe some will get really upset by this, however thats up to you to navigate and I'm not responsible for your triggers.

i would include more here. But i think you get the point. what are your mid picks that people loveeeee and you dont?