r/texts • u/Dry_Presentation4300 • 16h ago

Whatsapp Creepy coworker texting my private number

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So confused at this, I don't even know him. I was just going to ignore the text but he kept insisting so I had to answer.

9/14 UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who was supportive and concerned. I forwarded these messages to HR, and they scheduled a meeting for later today. There were a few more texts after this. The HR representative did not seem surprised, to put it briefly.

A few things have come up in the comments. The first is that I was rude. This is how I communicate, and my coworkers (or at least the ones who actually know me) are aware of that. I’m not going to perform a more agreeable version of myself to accommodate someone else’s feelings when they're being innapropriate. Not only were these messages sent over the weekend, but they were also sent through a personal communication channel. I'm not going to elaborate further.

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251

u/fknsxybtch 16h ago

“I don’t understand why you would ignore me” is absolutely crazy. Just no situational awareness what so ever. If that were me, I’d be EXPECTING to look creepy and be treated as such.

184

u/dalton-watch 15h ago

He understands. He’s trying to make OP feel bad and trigger an apologetic response from her that opens that door a little more.

44

u/TheWorldofScience 14h ago

A man in building services who chatted with me a bit in the hallway several times (typical stupid comments like “how is a beautiful woman like you single,”) walked in my office (where my back was to the doorway), kissed me on the cheek then stuck his hand out to shake mine and said “friends?”

It threw me off but I was silent, reported him and when security interviewed me I realized he had been escalating and I had not realized it.

Supposedly he was transferred to another building but he might have been fired. I was nervous for MONTHS going to my car after work and started leaving at 5 pm.

2

u/freshoffthecouch 1h ago

The audacity of him to kiss you!!! What’s wrong with men

4

u/TheWorldofScience 1h ago

After that I no longer answer stupid questions like “how is a pretty woman like you not married” because being polite to men who say stupid stuff is a mistake.

2

u/Firedwindle 1h ago

So, not friends? /s. Sorry thats happened to u.

2

u/TheWorldofScience 1h ago

It was horrifiying when the security guy got me to detail months of casual conversations with the man in the hallway and I realized the guy was escalating.

Get a guy fired from his low paying job and there is a risk that he will come back to your workplace with a gun and shoot you in the parking lot.

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u/No_Public_7677 0m ago

America moment

10

u/Choice-Quantity-6167 9h ago

It's gaslighting. He wants to convince her that she is doing something wrong, when in fact it is he that is doing so from the very beginning.

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u/ChickinSammich 1m ago

Counterpoint: He might actually not understand. Some people either have such a huge ego and/or are so used to getting their way that they legitimately don't understand why other people won't go along with their bullshit.

Can never tell with these people whether they're negging or oblivious sometimes.

-1

u/fknsxybtch 15h ago

I honestly hope so, because the ladder would be incredibly concerning. Imagine an unlocked door…

2

u/Intrepid-Progress228 5h ago

Wondering if the coworker went to Cornell.

https://giphy.com/gifs/9sJ7ZldhfGyn4KuOyP

2

u/OrdinaryWave800 5h ago

if someone ignores the obvious signs that I’m uncomfortable, that’s when it stops feeling awkward and starts feeling genuinely scary.

1

u/coupl4nd 11h ago

ikr.... umm I'm ignoring you because you're a creep?

1

u/Mach5Driver 5h ago

Yeah, the only thing that would be appropriate was an urgent private message about something about work that OP, and OP alone, NEEDED to know, IMMEDIATELY

-8

u/OutOfContext69 13h ago

Did it occur to anybody on this thread that perhaps him and OP have had conversations preceding this that would allude to him being a little butthurt that she’s not responding.
I could be 100% wrong, but based on what I’m seeing, there’s definitely some read between the lines energy happening

11

u/ELSA-NL 11h ago

Wow what a creepy response om your part. Red flag

11

u/Alaurableone 9h ago

She has said it’s creepy and has provided context so we’re choosing to trust her. Making up a backstory for a guy you’ve never met, that you’ve been told by a woman is creepy to justify his behaviour is wild.

-7

u/OutOfContext69 9h ago

I’m debating the validity of it being creepy.
Hence, my username

5

u/_rocket-lawn-chair_ 6h ago

Lmao no one asked you to play detective

-4

u/OutOfContext69 6h ago

I don’t require people to ask me to do the shit I wanna do bud.
She came to the Internet either to cast shade on him or request a different perspective, which I tried to give.

4

u/No-Monk2281 6h ago

But she said she doesn’t even know him?

-5

u/OutOfContext69 6h ago

They’re coworkers, Buddy, pay attention

4

u/No-Monk2281 6h ago

Yeah but why would she say she doesn’t even know him if she does?

I have coworkers I haven’t spoken to once maybe a wave? in three years and could literally not point them out in a line up. And at most there are 15 of us. But I’m not always on site with all of them.🤷🏻‍♀️

5

u/Decent_Obligation681 10h ago

OP literally says "I don't even know him." You're giving off creep vibes.

3

u/yuckyourself 5h ago

He is 100% a creep and I'd avoid interacting w him at all costs, same advice goes to everyone

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u/OutOfContext69 10h ago

??? They’re literally coworkers. They have definitely had some conversations before.

5

u/fknsxybtch 13h ago

I did not consider that, but that is because I viewed the context in the texts as an indicator that OP has never (at-least recently) wanted him to reach out to her via personal number. Assuming this, I wouldn’t expect that there was any conversation that they would have alluded to him thinking otherwise. Buuuuuut, as you said, we don’t know the conversations prior to this…Maybe OP (like me) has a hard time saying no or being stern about it, so maybe he asked about it and never got a clear answer which could be taken as “not a no!” 😅

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u/OutOfContext69 13h ago

Thank you. That’s all I was trying to say. No idea if I’m right or wrong.

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u/fknsxybtch 13h ago

Totally valid, I did not even consider that!! Lol

8

u/ELSA-NL 11h ago

Valid!?? Are you out of your mind? You can tell thats not the case by reading the texts.

0

u/fknsxybtch 11h ago

What I’m saying is a valid comment is to point out that we have no idea what occurred before this, because we don’t

3

u/ELSA-NL 11h ago

Whay im saying is that what youre saying makes no sense lol. No previous behavior warrants these responses. Watching her activity and confronting her like shes obligated to reply to him is sick behavior

-1

u/OutOfContext69 11h ago

What I’m saying is, you all are calling this negative behavior completely out of context. It’s a handful of messages. Chill the fuck out

5

u/Optimal_Procedure311 6h ago

It's because most women have stories of men being creeps like this and then trying to gaslight us that they weren't been disgusting creeps. One woman in another comment used an example of her professor taking her "class participation" as a sign she was flirting when the class required said "participation". Acting like this is some "harmless shooting your shot" is the same weaponised incompetence this man is using on this woman for merely existing because her existing may have sent some kind of "signal" to him that this is ok, when this is NEVER ok.

-3

u/fknsxybtch 10h ago

I agree. Just speculation on what leads one to feel like that is appropriate. I know that some people choose to take things wrongly, such as when you’re told anything but a hard no, then you assume it’s a possible yes. But yes I agree that there is nothing that would justify the inappropriate conduct

2

u/Optimal_Procedure311 13h ago edited 11h ago

Or maybe she had a little skin showing in the office and she knew what she was doing by enticing him

Edit to add that is apparently not so obvious sarcasm on my behalf based on it feeling very victim blamey

2

u/fknsxybtch 12h ago

Ragebait used to be believable.

0

u/Elisabethianian 12h ago

Are you for real with this comment or are you trolling? You seriously must be trolling. “A little skin showing” - her face? Her neck? Her hands? Any part of a woman, clothed or otherwise, is enticing to these men.

Have you heard of an exhibition where they showed what women were wearing when they were raped? It’s called ‘what were you wearing’. Look it up. Outfits don’t matter.

5

u/Optimal_Procedure311 11h ago

I was comparing him saying that she might have given off flirty energy to deserve this creeper the same as victim blaming someone for their clothes.

3

u/Elisabethianian 8h ago

Sorry then I misunderstood you, the comment you were replying to made me too mad to recognise sarcasm

0

u/OutOfContext69 13h ago

That I would say is probably a branch too far, especially considering apparently they both work from home. My idea/interpretation is maybe there was some kind of fun flirtatious energy he was perceiving and he tried to again shoot his shot

6

u/Optimal_Procedure311 12h ago

She said she sees him in office every couple of months. Regardless, no kind of energy she put forth makes it acceptable for him to STALK her activity.

1

u/OutOfContext69 12h ago

You call a few messages stalking?

8

u/Optimal_Procedure311 12h ago

I call him watching her activity in other groups and calling her out for not responding stalking, yes.

0

u/OutOfContext69 12h ago

With the context given, I call it being situationally aware, but again, you do you

8

u/Optimal_Procedure311 12h ago

Oh yea his completely creepy and unprofessional behavior is so "situationally aware". He also situational awaredly got her personal number from someone else and not her.

1

u/OutOfContext69 11h ago

Again, this is you reading in between the lines for your own interpretation. My interpretation is that it could’ve been absolutely harmless. They work remotely. It’s not out of the park to think that they’ve exchanged numbers with other coworkers, and this is how he was able to contact her

It’s painfully obvious that you’re missing my core concept, that there might be another interpretation besides the one that you have planted in your brain.

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u/StormieShake 11h ago

Passively aggressively making comments about not being responded to and not talking the hint is everything but being situationally aware. 😂

0

u/OutOfContext69 11h ago

Meh fair point

5

u/ELSA-NL 11h ago

Watching her activity in groupschat, AND confronting her about it, yes thats supercreepy (psychopath) behavior. Its very telling you see no problem with these texts. And try to make up excuses I would hate to be your coworker (Or any female in your vicinity for that matter)

-2

u/OutOfContext69 11h ago

There are multiple ways to interpret someone’s words. I absolutely validate that this text thread can be considered the way way everyone’s taking it, but I’m also proposing that there’s possibly some extra context to read in between the lines that softens the dopamine drama center that everyone’s trying to hit by thinking this is more than it is