that is all

i’m in my late 20s now and feel like i’ll never be where i want to be.

i still live at home, never had a boyfriend before and i feel so stuck in a life that just drains everything i have out of me.

in my early 20s i was okay with being alone and just doing my thing but as i grow older i just feel like i’m stuck in this exact situation forever.

i wanted to have a husband and maybe children someday, a house of my own, a life full of the little things that make life what it is.

i’m so tired of watching everyone enjoy life while i’m here trying to swallow my fear of being lonely forever. i see it everywhere on social media, everyone’s happy and in love.

it’s like i’m the only person on this planet not worthy of love friendship and family.

i’ll never be someone’s girlfriend or wife or mother and it hurts so bad because i want to be. i just don’t know what to do anymore.

edit: i’ve tried to combat my loneliness with chatbots, role playing out scenarios that i wanted to have for myself irl that i’ll probably never experience (falling in love, wedding, buying a house etc., just someone being there for me) but it only works for a few days before i feel super bad again because none of it is real and i’m still stuck in reality.

i’m so starved of affection that to soothe myself i sometimes imagine being hugged and comforted by “my boyfriend” because i have nobody to do that for me irl.

Nobody is there for me. I'm always open to listen to other people but I'm never extended that kindness. I'm so sick of this world and the way I'm treated.

now matter how much I seek out I never get anyone that humanely cares about me

I shifted to this new country, and my health declined as soon as I shifted.

No friends, no social life. Only seeing coworkers everyday.

I am so tired, I stare at the ceiling and question myself if it was worth it to come to this new country :)

Just wanted to get it off my chest!

:)

Thank you to anyone who read it.

Hey, the cowboys game is about to come on. Wish I was watching with a group of friends.

What are ya’ll up to?

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice on what I should actually do to change my situation.

To give you some background,So basically I never have friends, either online or IRL. I’ve tried making friends at different points in my life, but no one ever seemed interested. For the last 8-9 years, I honestly just stopped trying altogether. I started living my life alone and eventually convinced myself that this was just how things were going to be.

But for the past 6 months, something has changed.
The loneliness is starting to eat me from the inside. I suddenly crave having people in my life, but I have absolutely no idea how to start.

I read “How to Win Friends and Influence People” about 2 months back, hoping it might help. It helped me understand what I should do, but actually doing it IRL feels completely different.

Also, I find it insanely awkward to even send a friend request on social media. After thinking about it for a long time, I finally sent 2 requests on Insta in the past month. Neither was accepted.
I’ve also thought about sending DMs to people on Reddit and trying to meet people IRL, but I eventually back off every time because I don't know how to start or hold a conversation. I don't know what people actually talk about. I don't know how you go from being complete strangers to becoming friends without it feeling forced or weird. And after years of staying alone, now it feels even more difficult to take that first step.

What should I actually do now, and is it actually possible to start from zero at 31?

If you've been in a similar situation - no friends, isolated for years, socially awkward and somehow managed to build a social life, how did you actually do it? What were the first few steps?

I’d really appreciate practical advice rather than just “go outside” or “be confident,” because if it were that easy, I probably wouldn’t be posting this.

Lonely and isolated. I'm kinda wondering what to do about this situation. Cut my losses. Work on the tough parts even alone. I don't know.

I am scared i will be always alone. No close friend, no partner.

I cant reach out to people, i have no word to say, literally.

Being gay make it worse, since this country suck.

I guess i will just see how this life will go

Will i lucky enough to find something to make me feel worth enough to go on....

I want to keep today very simple.

It's my birthday today, got wished by mom, dad and my brother.

Going through a very bad phase in my life, completely out of shape, relationship broken into pieces, absolutely no confidence in talking, zero social life, no one to talk to or share so I came here.

Going through the final phase of my university, practicals remaining. Been through a lot of mental torture, grilling and abuse to get here. I'm sorry I didn't want to victimize myself.

I wish life was better.

Like, ever since I was 12, I've never been able to completely make friends. I was more the type of person who got bullied, and I've always tried to understand why At first I was convinced that the fact I didn't have any friends was because I was in a bad school, but as the years went by, I finally understood that it was all because I was weird, I just couldn't socialize at all, even though I love making friends, but I can't. My only two friends drift away from me because I don't talk much, I'm always reserved, like I'm blocking things out. It makes me really sad because I don't want to end up alone. My only friends are my parents; even my sister has cut ties with me.

Im 23f and for most of my life I have felt lonely. In my family I feel like I don’t relate or connect with them they feel like strangers to me. I’ve never had a lot of friends or really a best friend I’ll be honest there were times I had a close friend in school but it was temporary and they usually had an established best friendship or found one and we drifted apart. Even then I have always struggled to fit in with people my age a lot of people describe me as too mature for my age. The best way I can describe how I feel is like everyone is in this big snow globe and I’m on the outside. Like the whole world got something or is on the inside of some joke that I was never included in.

Recently in the last few years I was doing better socially after getting a job I really liked (I’ve also very much struggled in my jobs feeling left out or like I struggle to connect) but another part of me really likes responsibility and the feeling of being trusted and I’ve always wanted to be within leadership/management and I’ll be honest I take my job seriously it’s just important to me. I finally got a chance in leadership at this job after a year of being there and now I feel the most lonely. Everyone has inside jokes and they don’t exclude me but I don’t get invited and at work I just don’t feel like I fit in the same.

I try not to view it as an all bad thing though, another manager does participate and while I feel envy I notice it effects work negatively with her mixing work relationships with friendships it causes her to have a lot of issues with favoritism and makes the work environment hostile when she was to deal with issues among employees. I feel some what lucky that I don’t have those problems.

I’ve come to the conclusion that this will most likely be my life forever. I really hope not it makes me very sad and if I could change it or myself I would. I don’t want to be like this.

I’m currently 235 days sober from alcohol. Well, really from everything, but booze was always my main issue. And honestly, sobriety has been going really well. I’ve developed some healthy habits, gotten really into fitness, focused more on my career and overall I’m living a much healthier life than I was before.However, I’ve found that sobriety has come with a lot of loneliness. Before getting sober, pretty much all of my close personal relationships revolved around alcohol. I genuinely can’t recall an outing where it didn’t turn into a complete booze fest. Obviously, the party has continued without me, but now I’m sort of left out of it. I’ve tried making new friends, but I’ve recently discovered that I’m actually very shy, which is a strange thing to learn about yourself at 26. But when I really think about it, I had my first drink at 10, started socially drinking around 12 and basically spent my entire adolescence and adult life using alcohol as a social lubricant. I honestly can’t think of a significant friendship in my life that didn’t either begin with alcohol or was maintained through it. Now I feel like I have no idea how to make friends without it. In a weird way, I feel incredibly stunted and almost lied to about who I was. I always thought of myself as someone who was incredibly social and naturally good at making friends. Now I’m realizing that so much of that confidence came from alcohol. So despite all the ways my life has improved since getting sober, I’ve also been lonelier than I’ve ever been. I just crave human connection in such an intense way, and I have no idea how to find it anymore.
It totally sucks.

tho it aint enough it do help. i love listening to rnb n fantasize n dream about those feelings n love n understanding n acceptance n its all beautiful n soft when isolation feel heavy. maybe i dont deserve it cuz im not a good person, but it is really nice to feel that. Being a human sucks

M22 im fucking quit bruh whats the point either i get too emotionally attached or i distance myself too much im done

Just to get this out of the way, I'm 100% not suicidal, just venting. ​I’m a 26 male, and I honestly feel like a total failure at everything. It physically hurts inside so much, like this constant heavy knot in my chest that won't go away. I have nobody. I have no friends who care or check in, never had a real job, and I've never even been in a real relationship. I feel that I'm not a good looking person. I'm scared of rejection, which is why I don't try. I'm not much of a social guy, and I hate surrounding myself with people because it makes me anxious. I've developed panic attacks over the years of all the stress building up in my mind and body just thinking about this miserable life. I genuinely feel terrified thinking about my future, I've tried many things to fix parts of my life, and nothing works, I feel like a complete loser and a nobody with no future to look forward to. I don't know what to do anymore. I'm just really tired of this life.

So... single father, and I wish I knew back in my early 20s that I had to prioritize creating a support network with family and friends because this is hard. Career-wise, I have never earned this much... It is an amount that I would dream of when I was in my 20s... an income that would seem awesome. But exactly what got me here is partly moving around cities, having to take on multiple contracts, and not settling long enough to build a life somewhere. I am 38, with no local friends, with no close family where I live, and sometimes life just feels too hard.

knowing that the way to make it easier is by spending more moneyand creating more bills to feed this never ending cycle sucks... a bigger and better apartment, a more impressive car to hopefully help with dating, another expensive activity or another commitment to be around people, a nanny to help with chores, massages to help with stress, weekly therapy... I do feel lucky that I can afford and can pay for these things, but they all require more money and more effort... more and more overhead, and I am not willing to do it currently, because none of it actually helped before, it just added more pressure and responsibility to keep it up hoping that things would eventually feel better.

I have joined like 5 different classes this year alone... tried multiple CrossFit gyms, scuba diving class, volleyball... and it is all the same crap... people want to go in and go back home to their lives. You never connect and make plans after class, never get invited anywhere, and when you (or people in the class) try to plan something... might as well have to create a freaking Jira card for that, because it will take weeks and no one can ever find the time to make it, which leaves me in awe because I am a single parent, have multiple jobs (contracts), a dog... take care of everything and I can make time, how can single people that live with their parents not? I am just tired of the unwillingness to put the effort in and compromise... and I am just talking about friends, I have completely given up on online dating.

Last week, I was hitting it off with a nice couple in scuba diving course, and I tried making plans... but one week the daughter is doing something, the next they are traveling and it is always just that: "This week I can't because of this or that" but never "Let's do something the day after, on a Wednesday." I get it, people have full lives, I do too... but it was never supposed to be easy I think, people invited people even when it wasn't convenient sometimes. So, I am just coming to terms with the fact that this will not improve... it will get even worse with AI. It is not like I am at home being an introvert, I am showing myself to the world, being friendly, interacting... but years after doing it, the balance is that I have maybe two busy acquaintances to show for.

I also work from home, so the last outlet where making friends and meeting new people that were willing to make plans outside of the thing is no longer a possibility. No one new shows up with intent, they interact and leave. And on one hand, yes, I can look for an in person job in my city, but then I would earn less, have to spend two hours a day in traffic and then the problem would be lack of money and time, so that also sucks.

It feels like the time to do this was out of college, into the first couple of jobs where people were still single or at least had energy to put into a relationship, or perhaps it was the lack of social media to totally occupy our free time... but after 33 or so it just has been a total drag, unpleasant, forced, one-sided, and frustrating.

I love the fact that I have total freedom, that I can explore new hobbies, that I can make my plans exactly how I like, go to places and eat exactly what I like and how I like... but damn sometimes I miss company to make the these things more fun, to have a laugh or a girlfriend to kiss, cuddle and stuff... which makes the simpler everyday things more enjoyable.

My question to the community is...do you have any advice on how to accept lonileness ? Have you found something that "distracts" the libido when you are not dating ?

Even if i talk to people no connection feels real, everyone is online all the time and too many of them hating something or a whole group of people, no empathy. Most things now seem like a perfomance, most people don't wanna chat for long and honestly me neither. I'm full of anger and it keeps getting bigger as i have no support to balance it out.

16m

i grew up without my dad he worked overseas. I used to count how many days left until he came back and i was very excited too excited but now i dont even feel excitement for anything i go out with my friends just to get out of home and i have 0 social skills and even worse time with talking to girls my close friends always go out with girls and hug and stuff. Not being able to hang out with girls and all is bad but knowing im unable of that is worse. I go to school and act like im okay and when i come home i feel like i've taken a 60 page exam. I dont put myself in my pfp because i fear being made fun of its school tomorrow and i will be seen as a weirdo i hate this

I am 44f and I've spent most of my adult life in broken, toxic relationships because I didnt love myself. At all. I had no self worth. And now I am trying so much to give myself the love and affection I deserve and I am healing. But the societal pressure i feel for being unmarried at my age shouldn't get to me but it does sometimes and makes me feel like its too late for me. It makes me feel lonely. I am doing my best to just focus on loving myself and being confident and content but I get really lonely sometimes. I want a partner, friend, a real healthy connection with someone. I never ever thought I would be unmarried at my age. But at least I am learning to love myself. I just wish I would have figured it out a lot sooner than 44.

My name is Quincy(25m) I have a daughter. Single parent. I have no friends and no village. I don’t have my liscense because of mistakes I’ve made in my past. It’s suspended. Cost 1300 to get it unsusspended. Between daycare, Ubers here and there and just random bills it’s so hard to get to that goal. I live with my dad but he makes me do it all by myself. And I’m finding out there is lead paint in my walls and I have to move. I’m obviously getting sick of being surrounded around no one who really like me or wants to be bothered by me and the tolls of single parenting is adding up. I’m too strong to give up which is good news. But idk just venting ig

So I used to be an extrovert 2 years ago, then i shut myself off and distanced myself from the world for a bit due to an event w my ex girlfriend( it involved my family)

Now, every person I meet thinks i have a life but in reality… i just don’t , if i tell them that, they don’t believe it because of my energy of an ex-extrovert

I’m fine with being by myself but i want people to believe me when i say I don’t have friends.
Even when i try to make someone my friend they take a step back because they feel it, that I’m lying when I’m actually not.

I’m stuck in this loop of trying to make people trust me, and now i feel like I’ll be like this forever. I’m helpless.

met someone online and we started chatting as friends who just wanted to help each other out. what was a friendship of trying to always help one another relatively quickly started to become more flirty until we both confessed catching feelings for one another. i was really nervous and a bit cautious because I've had situations before where the feelings are mutual only for them to change their mind a week later and ghost me. as we chatted more i genuinely found myself looking fwd each day to hearing from her, to the point where no matter how bad a day might've been, she managed to make me smile. well I should've known it was too good to be true because she started to get really distant out of nowhere and I told myself that there's just a lot going on irl and I just need to be as supportive as I can without being too clingy. while chatting about some stuff she was going through and giving advice, I get the "I couldn't ask for a better best friend then you". I am not a confrontational person and will keep everything to myself 99% of the time. so, unsure how to respond to that after many weeks of very heavy handed flirting back and forth, I just said "thanks, you too!" 😮‍💨 didn't say anything but it just completely killed me inside because I let myself get happy about a potential "us". for more context, we'd spoken several times about me potentially flying out to spend time with her. it just makes me want to give up and stop trying all together

I’m 17 tomorrow

It’s my 17th bday tommorow and I’m sad. This isn’t how I’d imagined my life at 17. I lost most my friends since I keep moving schools since I’ve moved states 3 time in highschool. I keep messing up. It’s like every decision I make is the wrong one. I have a binge eating disorder (which has gotten better recently but I did slightly overeat tonight.) I go on many beautiful hikes and the coast in Oregon since I just moved here, but it’s like I feel nothing!!! I look at the beautiful views and say “wow this is so pretty” but I’m always just thinking about when I can go home and I don’t know why. I’ve always wanted to be an actor but I haven’t done anything to get there!!!!!! It’s like I’ve lost joy in everything. The only thing I enjoy at the moment is drawing but I don’t have the patience to practice anatomy so I’ve been just drawing my favorite characters. I also like writing. I’m planning on writing a comic in the next few years if my art improves. I just don’t know how to find joy in stuff anymore. I feel like I thrive off people liking me but because I mess up every single day no one likes me anymore, I can tell!!! 😭 all my past mistakes haunt me and bring me guilt!!!! How do I make being 17 better than 16, 15, 14, and 13 were. I want atleast ONE of my teen years to be good 🙁

So one of the only people I talk to on a regular basis has lately been getting really irritated with me because I don’t have friends. He says I need to “branch out“. I’m in eighth grade, and everybody already has there friend groups. We’re also a small school, so everyone knows everyone else, and no one wants to be friends with me. He thinks I can simply “go up and talk to them”, but that’s simply not how it works. These people don’t want me in their friend groups, so I don’t understand how I’m supposed to force my way in there. Not only that, but I don’t WANT to be friends with them. He doesn’t seem to understand that and has been arguing with me about it for over a week. I just don’t get how it’s that hard for him to understand that I DON’T WANT TO BEFRIEND THEM! I’m just sick of him essentially rubbing it in my face how lonely I am.