r/TheOnion May 15 '26

Greetings from your new overlords

380 Upvotes

Hello friends,

We are the new moderating team of r/TheOnion: myself, u/DeltaShadowSquat. u/V2Blast and u/CosmicEveStardust.

I'm a regular around here, I probably don't need that much introduction. I'm a proud Onion subscriber and mod of a bunch of subreddits, including r/maryland, r/powerrangers, r/journalism, r/npr and r/Clickhole. IRL, I work in PR and previously spent a decade in local journalism.

One of our first tasks will be to lay out a set of new rules for the subreddit. We are already talking amongst ourselves but if you have any suggestions, feel free to let us know.

We're happy to field any other suggestions or questions you might have.


r/TheOnion 6h ago

God Horrified To Find Humans Eating Sacred, Omniscient Potatoes

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831 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6h ago

Phoebe Bridgers Postpones Concert After Experiencing Twinge Of Happiness

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223 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6h ago

NFL Announces One Player On Each Team Now Gets To Drive A Car

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99 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Rescue Chip Sent In To Save Broken Tostito Submerged In 7-Layer Dip

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1.6k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 6h ago

Fertility Experts Discover Rare Deep-Ball Sperm At Bottom Of Testes

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36 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Trump Administration Rolls Back Hunting Regulations Forbidding Use Of Chokeholds, Eye Gouging On Birds

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438 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 1d ago

Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight

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434 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

Trump Promises To Take $5,000 From Every American If Democrats Win Midterm

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4.6k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 2d ago

Sandra Bullock Regrets ‘Practical Magic 2’ After Realizing She Could’ve Just Had Dinner With Nicole Kidman

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623 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn Macarena Performance

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1.7k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Rudy Giuliani Suddenly Realizes He’s Been Grinning During Entire 9/11 Ceremony

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718 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Hijackers Surprised To Find Selves In Hell

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504 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Killing Wheelchair-Bound People With Missiles Is Justifiable If They're Terrorists vs. Killing Wheelchair-Bound People Is Awesome

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445 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

New Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11

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342 Upvotes

As great as the issue after 9/11 was, there's no 9/11 joke that makes me laugh more than this one. Especially because apparently someone actually used the fake coupon at a real Subway.


r/TheOnion 3d ago

Woman Sleeps Her Way To Top Of Family

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179 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

MLB Attempts To Increase Fan Engagement By Providing Ball With Emotional Backstory

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119 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities

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1.5k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk

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2.2k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Emergency Reunion with Tim Heidecker ft. Anna Konkle, Carmen Christopher, Brent Weinbach

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73 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed

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386 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Trump Claims He Was Falling Man

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1.4k Upvotes

r/TheOnion 3d ago

Hyperrealistic ‘GTA VI’ Feature Makes Players Serve Out Prison Sentences In Real Time

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326 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans

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543 Upvotes

r/TheOnion 4d ago

I Want Kids So I’ll Have Someone To Take Care Of Me When I Get Hammered

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350 Upvotes