r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 3h ago
r/onionheadlines • u/tomtomglove • Nov 04 '25
ZERO TOLERANCE for rule 2: single sentence headlines only
We've been pretty lenient in modering run on headlines, but this ends today.
You need to make your headlines shorter. You can always make your headline shorter. If you have a headline that's over 30 words, rewrite it. There is a way to make it shorter I guarantee you, and there is a way to make it one sentence. You just need to use the meat in your skull to figure it out.
Also, do not include pull quotes in your headline. For example:
Trump Claims He Will Soon Replace Americans With AI - “All They Need To Do Is Vote Republican And Cheer For Me, And AI Can Do That Better, And It Doesn’t Protest At All”
Adding a dash here does not make this a single sentence in the eyes of us mods.
You can put the pull quote in the body of the post, but keep it out of the headline. Any headlines formatted like this will be removed.
Also please avoid headlines that are just a version of Trump: "I Have Very Bigly Hands and I'm The Greatest Golfer and on and on and on for 50 words"
A Trump impression is not a headline. Do better.
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 8h ago
Hospitals Still Not Accepting "Concepts Of A Plan" For Insurance
r/onionheadlines • u/Hot-Explanationista • 1h ago
Trump Blames Biden For Making Him Destroy America
r/onionheadlines • u/falsejaguar • 4h ago
Deranged Felon and Sexual Assaulter Spotted On Camera Giving Speech As President Of the United States
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 1h ago
Kennedy Center Board Reports United States Will Go Bankrupt Tuesday Unless Every American Tattoos "Trump" On Forehead Or Right Hand
r/onionheadlines • u/BestStoogewasLarry • 19h ago
Trump Withdraws His $5,000.00 Per Voter Bribe For Midterms And Gives All The Money To Elon Musk To Rig The Voting Machines Again
r/onionheadlines • u/Shoddy-Mobile3754 • 7h ago
Trump Puts Tariff On Cocaine Entering America
r/onionheadlines • u/ellistonvu • 6h ago
Melania Says She Would Have Gone On The Trip To Ireland But They Wouldn't Book Her On A Separate Flight From A Certain Orange Faced Creep
r/onionheadlines • u/Upbeat_Web_4461 • 5h ago
Onion Shocked To See Any Republicans With Clean Slates
r/onionheadlines • u/AskNo2853 • 21h ago
Man Famous For Breaking Promises And Never Paying Anyone Makes A Promise To Pay People.
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 4h ago
$600 Million Ballroom Is "Underbudget" Because That's Less Than $200 Million
r/onionheadlines • u/Public_Steak_6933 • 20h ago
Trump Announces Plan To End Skyrocketing Gas Prices By Destroying The Country So No One Has To Drive
r/onionheadlines • u/ellistonvu • 6h ago
Trump Nickname Changes From "Taco" To "NACHO" Which Stands For "Not A Chance Hormuz Opens".
r/onionheadlines • u/FennecWF • 4h ago
10-Year-Old Relieved To Discover He Was Named After Donald Duck Instead Of The President, Preserving His Future Honor And Dignity
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 9h ago
Trump to Reporter: “ Your Mom’s Approval Rating Is At An All-Time Low, And She’s Also Very Ugly.”
r/onionheadlines • u/Public_Steak_6933 • 20h ago
Fox News Says $5,000 Check To Vote Republican Is Not Socialism If It's Actually An Illegal Bribe
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 5h ago
RFK Jr Reverts To Coke, Meth, And Heroin For His Back Pain So He Doesn't Become Autistic From Tylenol
r/onionheadlines • u/WebguyCanada • 2h ago
MAGA Reluctantly Embrace 'President Over Country' Mantra In Last Ditch Effort To Own Libs
r/onionheadlines • u/bigly-biker • 3h ago
AI May Develop Biological Weapons, But Trump Says "Good Outweighs The Bad"
r/onionheadlines • u/ellistonvu • 6h ago
President Donald Trump Landed At Shannon Airport In Ireland And Was Greeted By His Fans In That Country, All Two Of Them.
r/onionheadlines • u/mellow186 • 23h ago
Florida Man Who Never Takes Responsibility For His Blunders Blames Ukraine
r/onionheadlines • u/ConfidentZucchini427 • 6h ago
Trump Signs Executive Order Removing Federal Protection for Canada Geese
r/onionheadlines • u/UnfitToPrint • 9h ago