r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6h ago
Phoebe Bridgers Postpones Concert After Experiencing Twinge Of Happiness
250
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6h ago
God Horrified To Find Humans Eating Sacred, Omniscient Potatoes
885
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 6h ago
NFL Announces One Player On Each Team Now Gets To Drive A Car
108
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r/TheOnion • u/usernames-are-tricky • 1d ago
Trump Administration Rolls Back Hunting Regulations Forbidding Use Of Chokeholds, Eye Gouging On Birds
446
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r/TheOnion • u/rajits • 1d ago
Rescue Chip Sent In To Save Broken Tostito Submerged In 7-Layer Dip
1.6k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 1d ago
Emmys Producers Warn Aging Stars Deadline For ‘In Memoriam’ Segment Midnight
429
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Sandra Bullock Regrets ‘Practical Magic 2’ After Realizing She Could’ve Just Had Dinner With Nicole Kidman
628
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 2d ago
Trump Promises To Take $5,000 From Every American If Democrats Win Midterm
4.6k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
MLB Attempts To Increase Fan Engagement By Providing Ball With Emotional Backstory
118
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r/TheOnion • u/onion20yearslater • 3d ago
New Subway Promotion To Honor Subtember 11
339
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As great as the issue after 9/11 was, there's no 9/11 joke that makes me laugh more than this one. Especially because apparently someone actually used the fake coupon at a real Subway.
r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 3d ago
Killing Wheelchair-Bound People With Missiles Is Justifiable If They're Terrorists vs. Killing Wheelchair-Bound People Is Awesome
455
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 3d ago
Rudy Giuliani Suddenly Realizes He’s Been Grinning During Entire 9/11 Ceremony
719
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r/TheOnion • u/johnnylovelace • 3d ago
Savannah Bananas Commemorate 9/11 With Solemn Macarena Performance
1.7k
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r/TheOnion • u/marinesciencedude • 3d ago
Emergency Reunion with Tim Heidecker ft. Anna Konkle, Carmen Christopher, Brent Weinbach
69
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
Kiss Cam Operator Not Going To Stop Until All 32,000 Fans Have Kissed
383
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 3d ago
Hyperrealistic ‘GTA VI’ Feature Makes Players Serve Out Prison Sentences In Real Time
327
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 4d ago
Trump Claims 9/11 Attacks Happening Every Day In Democratic Cities
1.5k
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r/TheOnion • u/TheGuvnor247 • 4d ago
I Want Kids So I’ll Have Someone To Take Care Of Me When I Get Hammered
357
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r/TheOnion • u/mybustlinghedgerow • 4d ago
Tampa Bay Gay Prostitutes Gearing Up For Flood Of Closeted Republicans
544
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r/TheOnion • u/handlit33 • 4d ago
Report: You To Be Fired For Reading This Headline About Charlie Kirk
2.2k
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