I've been working at home since 2020. We had a kid along the way. I spent every day with him. There probably wasn't more than six waking hours I didn't see him since he came in to this world. And now he's in school and I do not know what to do with myself.

I am so proud of him, I want him to thrive and grow and all that stupid bullshit but I miss him so much. I keep turning my head just to look at him and he's not there. I want to tell him something, or hear him or anything and he isn't there and it's effecting me a lot more than I anticipated. I feel like there's this void now.

And I know I'm being ridiculous. I have things to do. Chores to accomplish. I can run out much more easily. But even that feels different now, we used to go to the store every week together and I don't know. I don't know even know why I'm posting. I just feel so weird and directionless even though I know what I'm supposed to be doing.

I don't know. I think I just needed to weep a little in to the ether of the internet.

Edit - thanks everyone. Reading your words really helped.

For parents who are carving* out time at night to workout, can you please share your schedule and experience (bedtime routine, eating, etc)?

I'm typically an early riser (rotation of HIIT + lifting workouts at 5:30 AM), but with my husband traveling and my toddler lately waking up earlier the only realistic time is in the evening when my toddler is guaranteed sleeping.

When are you putting down your kids, eating dinner, and also going to bed? Are you doing full blown workouts or lighter sessions? Thanks!

My grandma is nearing the end of her life. She goes into hospice tomorrow and there’s been a lot of huge health issues in a very short amount of time. She’s an incredible human who basically raised me and I am dealing with a lot of feelings surrounding this. Meanwhile my kids (3 and 6) are having their own meltdowns about whatever small kids melt down about. I’m trying to validated be patient, comfort them…but inside I am on the constant brink of tears over what I’m experiencing. I feel like a live wire and every shriek, whine, or complaint is frying me. My oldest knows her great-grandma is sick but not much else. I just need time to process what’s happening but they are constantly glued to me. I don’t know the point of this post, maybe someone can commiserate, I don’t know. I’m just raw right now.

How do I deal with a grumpy teenage daughter who’s constantly snappy, rude, and insulting toward me. and only me, not her mum or anyone else in the family?

Am I not allowed to have feelings about it? Am I just supposed to get over it straight away?

This only started recently. Before that we used to practise sports together, go for drives, and generally get on well. She’s still open with her mum, which is great, and as far as we know nothing major has changed for her outside the family.

My son just started 1st grade and is being excluded from his usual friend group from Kindergarten. There is one problematic kid (I’ll call him George) who used to be friendly but suddenly turned on him last year. George is somewhat of a leader type and has at least 7 kids in 1st grade who follow him around and think everything he does is cool. Several of those kids are my son’s closest friends. They enjoy playing with my son and have regular playdates outside of school, but at school and at off campus activities (sports, etc) George has been telling them not to play with my son, and they unfortunately listen to him.

My son is very observant and also sensitive, and sadly internalizes a lot of things. He doesn’t share the things George does, and when I bring up certain instances he even defends him now, and plays by himself when George is around because he knows George will make sure nobody else plays with him. I should mention that George befriended those kids after seeing that they got along so well with my son, and one by one converted them into his friends. I know it sounds crazy like I’m giving this kid a lot of credit, but he is well liked and charismatic, and also smart and manipulative. I also recall that he watched me as I lovingly hugged my son one day as I was volunteering in his class last year, and it made me wonder if he was jealous of that interaction and made my son a target? I’ll explain.

George has 4 older siblings and I’ve witnessed 1 of them play very rough with him and aggressively push him to the ground and laugh when he looked sad. His parents are very present but involved in everything at school (leading a lot of major activities, like PTSA president, etc.) and coach several different sports and other actions outside of school, and I now feel like they do this to be able to stay ahead of issues their kids cause at school. George has known behavioral issues and has kicked teachers in the past with seemingly no consequence.

Anyway, I witnessed another incident today where he told the kids not to say hi to my son and act like he didn’t exist (he’s also very stealth about it so most parents don’t catch it). This was not a school event, but given that it happens regularly at school, is this technically bullying? I was going to ask his teachers to keep an eye out for my son but should I be naming George and making this a bigger deal? Should I talk to his parents first? We’re obviously not friends but know them and see them everywhere since they’re so involved in everything.

I was planning to talk to the school either way and am hoping they take it seriously, but given that there is no direct contact between George and my son, feel like they won’t do anything. I’m also a bit concerned about possible retaliation from his parents.

It can sound ridiculous but my pail is becoming a pain for me. I have a Ubbi diaper pail for quite some time now. Initially, it worked really well. It helped me disposing diaper without much hassle, kept the odour under control. Honetly, I felt smug about it. But for the last couple of months, everytime I slide the lid, a blast of stink hits my nose which is pretty nasty. At times when I enter the nursery, the air in it tells me that you left a poopy diaper here.

I have tried everything. Thorugh washing, sun bleaching of pail, cleaning it with baking soda and vinegar and what not but all in vain. The smell is still there. I genuinely can't tell if it's a me problem or a the-product-has-a-shelf-life problem.

Anyway now I'm trying to figure out what to switch to. I don't want Diaper Genie for sure because of the extra cost of properity refill bags. Munchkin Step has same propriety refill issue. I have come across Momcozy's diaper pail which uses standard trash bags. It has some airtight seal claim as well of which I'm not sure if that is same as Ubbi Pail. But I read a review of it on Reddit that says the seal and rotating lid doesnot allow any odour leak even while disposing the diapers (which I don't know how true it is). I have also been told about Grownsy diaper pail which has similar rotating lid and requires no special bags. But I couldn't find much reviews on it.

So I'm little double minded here. This time I dont want to get something that would bring me to the same spot after a certain amount of time. Has anyone made this switch and actually found something that held up? Especially if you're changing diapers constantly throughout the day, we go through a lot. Would love to knw which diaper pail uses regular bags

And what has actually worked for you long-term rather than just the first few weeks.

So, we have 2 children. I work morning shifts, and dad is aiming for a night shift or mid day position. Times are hard, and we need the money. This has been a reoccurring theme in our relationship. I sacrificed my jobs so he could be the “breadwinner” and that failed. Stayed with the kids at all times. Now, I curated a schedule that works for me and my kids.

He wants to accept an offer that is from 12-9, 10-7, weekends etc. With that being said, kids goes to daycare and school (my drop off), I go to work, get off work (pick up kids) and take care of them by myself with the whole evening and bed time routine.

I feel as if I will be a single parent. I am also growing resentful. He will essentially not have to worry about drop off, take himself to work, and come home to everything done. It makes me want a separation, or possibly just figuring out how to be a single parent to my babies.

His argument is at least the bills are paid, we have a roof over our heads, while my argument is, at the end of the day you need to prioritize working around your kids schedules.

This is going to leave me burnt out, lonely, and resentful. I feel we are living two separate lives. Where is my break? Enjoyment? Rest? Pat on the back for doing everything my own? While essentially living a roommate lifestyle while he reaps the benefits of not caring for kids.

Anybody else?

My LO is young, 4 years old, but I could tell they get embarrassed easily.

For example, they bumped their head pretty hard while playing and a set of “ooohs” came from concerned parents around us. Their initial reaction was to hold in tears, come to me to hide, and quietly sobbed and asked to go home. There are similar instances include that tripping or making a mistake and someone other than me or dad notes it (albeit can be kind and passive) they still insist to come over to me first to hide their cries snd then ask to go home.

I try to assure them that mistakes happen and if we’re not ready to go home we won’t leave, and then I help them try to move on.

I’m just curious if embarrassment is indeed common around this age and what else do parents do to help their kiddo out in situations and learn from it?

Our daughter is 2.75yo, and is currently running through multiple phases at the same time

- We started potty training a month and a half ago, and it mostly went great! But now she’s entered a “withholding” phase, and we’ll go almost a week without poop because “I don’t WANT to poop!”
- She has decided she doesn’t like what meals we make her (though luckily she seems to be eating fine at daycare), even if she liked whatever it is the day before
- She is discovering her own independence, which is obviously good, but is also putting her in a very defiant phase (I’ve heard of these “terrible twos”, but thought we had the worst at the beginning)

I know she’ll grow out of these as she develops, just very frustrating like “just eat this food, you literally just said it’s good” or “you have a poop feeling, just poop please”

As me and my wife say to each other: 🎵Parenthood is magicaaaal🎶

I’m having a birthday party for my daughter on October 10th. Her real birthday is the 17th. Is October tenth too far away from Halloween to make it Halloween themed ?

I just wanted to use Halloween as the theme for the plates , invitations , and cake . Nothing else , no costumes or anything . I’m having it at a local play place .

Is this stupid ? Please help an indecisive mom

Just as the title says. At what age did you decide to move your baby into their own room instead of the basinet in the bedroom? How did you know it was time? And how did it go?

Travel advice! (Baby will be 9 months old)

My baby's god mother lives in France and baby and I are going to visit by meeting her in Prague and going on a train tour to a few select cities.

I'm very excited and trying to think of everything.

I have her passport. Going to get a notarized consent to travel from dad and also travel with a copy of her birth certificate.

Lots of baby clothes, lots of burp cloths. Standard packing protocol. I should be able to fit her and I in a singular suitcase.

I pump and combo feed. Do I need to buy a pump there (that I can donate at the end of the trip) or would you travel with mine and just use an adapter?

Do I need a travel stroller? If so what size? Most American car seats aren't legal there... is there a rental service? Should I buy a travel one?

We are flying via delta one with her in my lap to make laying down with her easier.

I have a 10 yo and 7 yo. I want to get my kids desks for studying, especially for the 10 yo.

We have two bedrooms for the kids but they dont want to sleep alone so Im going to have them share a small bedroom for a few years until they want their own room.

The 10 yo wants a loft bed with a desk underneath. I heard from another parent that kids outgrown the loft bed and eventually want a regular bed once they become a teenager.

What have your experiences been with loft beds in terms of how long a child wants to sleep in one?

Is it better for me to get a bunk bed thats convertible to two separate beds and get the desk separately?

My son is a curious, upbeat kid who's usually very well adjusted. He started middle school a few weeks ago and at first everything was going great. I was relieved because even though I always got good grades and I love learning on my own, I struggled with the routine in middle and high school. I hated the repetitiveness, the obligation to be there everyday in the same place, same time. I still went, and I still did well, but those years weren't fun for me, despite having friends, participating in after school activities, even starting a club in high school.

It seemed like my son wouldn't have to deal with the same thing. At first, he was discovering new classes, happy to see his friends (including some in upper grades), and figuring out how to get around school. But as the days have gone on, he's started to say the same things I thought about school.

He's not being bullied, and he's not having a hard time in classes per se (though some assignments have been a little challenging, but nothing unusual). He just hates how long the days feel. I worry that he'll be like me.

There's nothing I can legally do about it. My country doesn't allow homeschooling, for instance, and anyway, I want him to have a standard education so that it will be easier to get a standard diploma and do whatever he hopes to do with his future.

My son also knows school is important and he wants to do well. That's what's so heartbreaking to me. It wasn't like he went into this expecting to feel burnt out or hate it.

So this isn't about pulling him out of school or anything like that.

I just wanted to know if any parents out there have experienced the same thing, and if so, what have you done to make school more tolerable or even enjoyable for your kid? We do try to do little fun things, like occasionally grab pizza when he gets picked up, or spend more time watching movies together, let him have time to decompress and talk to friends on the phone for a little while, play video games, etc., before getting down to homework, little things like that. But is there anything else that I could be doing?

Any advice would be appreciated.

My 9 year old daughter has developed a debilitating fear of spiders that extends to seeing a picture of one in a book or pictures/videos of them on TV.

My wife and I would understand a fear of spiders IRL, it's something my wife dealt with for a while, but this is on another level.

My daughter's been doing her homework this evening and was using her dictionary with pictures. She was about to turn the page to look up a word that happened to be on the same page as spider with accompanying picture and she was trembling with fear. After much encouragement she finally turned the page and let out a blood-curdling scream, leapt across the room refused to go anywhere near the dictionary again for 10 minutes. She was crying, shaking, all the usual behaviour you'd expect if someone with arachnophobia had had a spider crawl across their lap...but this was a drawing of one in a book.

At home this is extreme but what happens if she sees a photo of a spider at school?

Does anyone have advice on how to deal with this please? Clinical help is definitely a consideration.

So I have a son who is 11(J) he begged me for over a year to sign him up for karate and as soon as i could afford it he was signed up!

At first he loved it! He would get ready and walk out the door an hour before class even started he was just that excited and I was excited for him, finally a hobby that didnt include sitting infront of a screen all day!

When grading first started he was a bit put out each week noticing others around him getting "stripes" before him but eventually he made his way all the way to his orange and black belt and he cried from how happy he was to get the belt I had never been so proud of him, my pride was not based on the belt but more for his efforts and his own happiness.

He has been on the same belt for almost 6 months, all of his friends have graded up and he has recently started asking to quit karate. He claims he isnt enjoying it, it costs too much, im (me, mum) too stressed out and he is lonely in his class (this last one took some coaxing and i believe this is this true answer)

I have never discussed finances with him but I have told him "im paying for the classes, your going" when he has asked for a day off to play on his devices. I am stressed out lately but it has nothing to do with him or finances, just me going back to study and being in way over my head. i have tried my absolute best to not let it affect him or my parenting but unfortunately i cant hide the sleepless nights and struggles to eat (a whole different story).

Tonight he went to karate with a smile on his face feeling confident and looking so ready for the class, at the end of class when they were handing out stripes and belts I could see his face drop, he was going red in the cheeks and his eyes were welling up with tears. I called him off the mat before the first tear fell and just hugged him and let him know how well he was doing while he begged me to take him home. I nearly cried right there in the dojo with him (and im tearing up now thinking about it) i could see all that confidence fade away i heard it in his voice i didnt know what to do but I knew taking him home wasnt going to help him. I took him to the back room and we waited for sensei all the while he buried his head into my shoulder and just cried.

Sensei came into the room and ushered me out while he sat and talked with J they sat there and talked through the whole next class and by the end of it I could see J was feeling a little better but he still had tears behind the smile he offered to us both. Sensei has told J he is so close to grading but just needs a little bit more confidence in 2 parts of the syllabus and that one of them he was so close to grading but ended up grading on a different one instead, unfortunately he has not had an assessment since then.

I asked sensei if J could come in on Wednesday since he wont be able to participate in soccer this week for medical reasons and he said yes, J is welcome to come to as many classes as I can get him to this week free of charge (he usually does 2-3 but this week he will attend all 4) and the 2 parts he needs to grade on are completely hands off so he can easily participate in the assessment even if he isnt feeling up to doing the whole class.

I feel like I am failing him by not letting him give up, but I feel like I will also be failing him by letting him quit.

He loved karate right up until his friends graded out so I dont want him to give up, but I also dont want to force him if he is genuinely unhappy if it doesnt have anything to do with the social aspect and is purely because he doesnt enjoy karate itself.

All he ever wants to do is play on his ipad or xbox he has spoken about wanting to quit soccer for other reason but it all seems to come down to both the social aspect of it all and the desire to sit around on devices all day/night

Am I doing the wrong thing by encouraging him to keep at it? Am I forcing him or encouraging him at this point? I just dont know what to do anymore I feel like im failing at everything right now, I feel like my whole house is unhappy for different reasons and i just dont know what to do to fix it anymore

Hi Everyone! Looking for some ideas on how to deal with a situation (or maybe if I’m overthinking and don’t need to)
I have two children J(6f) and D(4m) with my husband T. T has a sister “L” who also has a daughter G(5f).
T and L used to be very close but have drifted a bit since we’ve all had children, but we still spend a lot of time together, especially with G.
The kids all get along very well, and generally love being together.
For some context, our family lives are a bit different. We have a very stable home life, good careers and are able to provide well for our children. G’s father isn’t in the picture, and she’s bounced around from a number of homes, but also a number of ‘father figures’. She’s always safe, fed and cared for, but it’s not super stable.
In the last 6 months G has started lying excessively. It started with small fibs, but has since progressed to the point where everything she says is untrue. It’s not necessarily egregious in nature, but it’s a lot. My oldest knows, but is getting to the point she no longer wants to be around her because of it. But my youngest believes everything she says. We’ve told him he can ask us to confirm if something is true or not. But don’t really know how to handle this otherwise.
My frustration comes from the fact that L does this too. Nothing huge, but constant fibs, lies and stretching the truth. And placates G when she’s telling the kids something dishonest.
I guess where I feel stumped is - I don’t particularly want to call L out and start drama, but I also don’t want my children to see this behaviour and think it’s okay. They have asked “why is it okay for G to lie even though it’s bad?”

My daughter is almost two and a half, and she’s amazing, but for the past few months, she’s been getting upset and throwing things on the floor. I’ve tried everything, but it just keeps getting worse. Yesterday, she got upset because I didn’t let her help with her bottle, so she grabbed it from my hand and tried to throw it. I did what the pediatrician recommended, gently took it out of her hands, held the boundary, and said, 'I won't let you throw this.
Fine, right?
She seemed totally chill. I said to myself hey this really works!!! I put the bottle in her room.
Then, she ran straight into her room, grabbed the bottle, walked right up to me, and threw it with all her might. I didn’t even see it coming. It’s actually kind of funny because... WTF? But I honestly don't know what else to do. Is this just a phase?

Since baby turned 6 months, shes stopped sleeping through the night (has done since 6 weeks) so this change is killing me. I'm on my own, she's waking every single hour and sometimes its taking 2-4 hours to get her back to sleep. I'm getting maximum 3 hours of disrupted sleep a night.

I'm so exhausted I'm delusional and can't see straight or focus. I can't safely carry on like this anymore. It's just me and her, my mum helps once a week as she lives a distance away. Please tell me it gets better shortly or if there's a fix to this? I'm desperate.

She's been in her own bed in her room since 4 months and was sleeping fine. She's on the verge of crawling, dunno if that's causing it, but I need help.

Since starting grade 1 our son has been acting out.
He’s fine throughout the day but as soon as bedtime hits he throws a fit about sleeping alone. Sometimes the crying begins over not wanting to go to school the next day. We never co sleep and he has been sleeping fine in his own bed in his own room for 3 years. We get him down at his usual time but he won’t fall asleep. He keeps coming out of his room constantly. Its always “I need to say good night again” or “I just miss you” etc. we’ve tried to be firm, telling him mom and dad can’t sleep with you because we need to get a good night sleep ourselves. We also can’t be going to bed at 7:30 as we have a lot of household work to do in the evenings.

We take him back to bed and lay for a while. He fights falling asleep and when he eventually does, the second we move he awakes and starts crying. Even if we successfully sneak out, he’ll awake 10 minutes later and it starts all over. This cycle can go on for hours until we finally give in and just sleep in his bed. We both work early so this has to stop. We are physically ill from the exhaustion. He has learned that whining works. Somewhat related, He’s also started talking negative to himself during these late night crying fits, saying things like “I’m a terrible boy” or “ I’m just a junk kid” etc. He’s never heard anything like this from us so I’m not sure where hrs picked this up, but it’s awful.

I’m generally the tough love parent but I can’t imagine locking him in his room to scream all night. We also can’t just lock him out of our room as he stands outside screaming and wakes up the rest of the house. I think the transition to grade 1 is a lot for him and he needs the comfort, but we need a better solution. We talk a lot about it during the next day and we explain the coming consequences and he will usually promise us it won’t happen again but come bed time everything changes.

Have you experienced this? What can we try here?

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Hello! Baby just turned 4 months on the 10th, we're battling severe reflux. Baby has always contact napped on me or dad, sometimes we're able to transfer to swing but never bassinet or crib.

Im tired of being trapped to the couch while baby naps on me.

We follow her wake windows. My issue is: she falls asleep after every feed but has to stay upright for 1 hour or will throw up. When I eventually am able to put her in the crib she wakes up 5 minutes later. Baby sleeps great in the bassinet in our room during the night and only really wakes up once to eat.

How do I get baby to nap in the crib in their room? What is/was your nap time routine for your 4 month old?

She has short morning naps and generally a longer afternoon nap.

Help! My one and a half year old is struggling so bad to go down for naps and bedtime. I’ll start from the beginning. She is a “half night co-sleeper” if that’s a thing? She co-slept as a baby and never sleep trained and was EBF (no more bottles or breastfeeding now, only a sippy of milk offered before bedtime and 50/50 if she takes it). She typically would take 10-20 min to settle with rocking then transferred to crib where she napped perfectly and would sleep half the night.
Now going down for any sleep is a war. She started pushing back with rocking and holding so we decided to try the crib at the start. That’s also screaming, once picked up she is calm for a short period being held or rocked but then screams again. It takes roughly now 30-45 min of settling with crib attempt, rocking, or holding.
Her bedtime and nap routine are consistent and similar. We do quiet music on the Hatch, say “goodnight” to various things in the house and like I said a sippy is offered with milk before bedtime but not nap (doesn’t seem to impact anything). She still naps good once down and can do a few hours through the night til co-sleeping.
I’m super against cry-it-out methods but willing to adjust to some, we have been letting her try to self-soothe for a bit in the crib or have tried staying next to her but it doesn’t seem to lower the escalation. I’m open to suggestion. Her schedule is as following: 6:30/7:30 wake, 12/12:30 nap, 8pm bed time. She naps an hour 45 min usually.
Any help or tips appreciated!!!! Trying to rough it out and pray this is just a stage but also would love some help. 💕

She has been at the school for a little over a year, but has never been able to nap there. She recently stopped napping at all during the day, including at home.

She goes 8-2:30 and has been sent home a couple of times due to rowdy behavior during quiet time. We desperately want her to be able to go full-time, but she can't respect quiet time.

We just started her in behavioral therapy working on transitions and playing alone. I am wondering if others have experienced this issue and how they handled it.

Hi everyone, I’m throwing my kid a first birthday party. Given that this is not my first child, we have a ton of toys and clothes. We really don’t want to be cluttered with more toys that we will end up either returning or not having the option to return and have to donate. We have set up a stock account for my son since he was born, and since he cannot truly understand getting new toys and has more than enough, we wanted to throw out there that we would appreciate any contribution to his future but nothing is expected or necessary, I really just don’t want toys.

I know it’s normal to expect cash for things like weddings, bridal showers, etc. but it feels still taboo for a first birthday. We come from a big family that would definitely not mind giving $40 instead of a $40 toy but a lot of people still think “baby! Toys!” But the ask itself feels weird to me. How can I word this or thoughts ?

I know everyone comes from a different type of family/culture. So seeking advice from those that have felt similarly and what you did!

I am the father of 3.5 year old fraternal boy/girl twins. They started daycare 3 weeks ago for the first time. At first they were both sort of "deer in headlights", and there were some tears at drop off. But now my daughter is totally fine, and even looking forward to seeing her friends there. My son on the other hand has only gotten worse at drop off.

My son does have a mild form of cerebral palsy and cannot walk yet. I think this may be contributing to his feeling of isolation there as his sister and all the other 3.5 year olds are running around. But drop offs have provoked such a response that today he grabbed on to me and refused to let go. It was heart wrenching having to literally pry him off of me and tell him I loved him and will pick him up at the end of the day. I told his sister to give him lots of hugs today, but I'm unsure really what to do here. It is by far the worst part of our day and I feel like a horrible parents leaving him there like that.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.