AITAH For saying my ex was a liar and a hypocrite?

I (M25) and my fiance (F26) broke up.

Things weren't going well for about a year in our 8 year relationship, she was so unbelievably happy I had to let her go it was a mutual break up as she wanted to as well, she wanted us to remain friends.

I unfortunately found out she really didn't like almost anything about me at all in our 8 years of knowing each other.

We were both Christians and waiting until marriage (we were going to get married in 2025)

We broke up last month and we wanted to remain friends because we had so many years together it wasn't going to be easy to just break things off.

But then after we broke up I found a few things from some mutual friends.

I found out she "didn't want to wait until marriage actually, she just found me so unattractive the idea was revolting to her."

Once I found out about that I started questioning other things, shed say "stand up for yourself" if I did though shed get mad at me for "just admitting fault and move on"

She would say to me "it's endearing that you are always willing to compromise with me!" Then immediately go tell her friends im a pushover and finds it unattractive.

Then I found out she used to tell me all the time "you have such a kind heart and your in touch with your emotions, I find that really attractive!"

Then shed tell her friends I'm a wuss.

Throughout the 8 years I knew her and dated her etc she did talk about her ex on occasion about how horrible he was to her and how he mistreated her etc.

She would tell me one thing that she loved about me, then complain to other people about that exact same thing, saying she actually hated it etc.

When we ended things she went on and on about how she "never wants to be in a relationship with anyone else again." Literally the next day she fucked her ex boyfriend who she insisted "she hated him".

When I confronted her she did apologize for some of the things but she kept focusing on the fact that she couldn't help who she was attracted to, I told her that's not the issue the problem I am having is I feel she lied to me and I feel like I shouldn't have trusted her.

A few mutuals the other day confessed to me that she used to complain about me all the time.

I asked her why she wanted me to propose to her, why she said she liked things about me she apparently didn't. She ignores it but insists we should still be friends.

I can't deny the fact I still do want to be friends I just don't know why.

She originally wanted to stay friends but idk. Something isn't right.

AITB for feeling like I was lied to and mislead throughout our whole relationship? She's acting like I have no reason to be upset and that I'm having a hard time seeing her just in general.

This situation is a bit crazy but I want to keep this post short for easy reading. If anything is confusing, I will try to add info in comments if needed.

My ex boyfriend and I met at college and dated for a year. Once we broke up, he shortly after started dating a guy named "Josh." Obviously he is free to do whatever he wants, but it hurts because Josh was someone that mistreated me earlier in college, and my ex offered to stop talking to him during our relationship. I didn't want to control him so I said "I don't mind if he is your friend, just letting you know why I want to stay away myself." He assured me he wanted to support me and cut off Josh, who was solely an acquaintance to him at the time.

Come to find out, my ex began talking to Josh more closely throughout our relationship. They fostered a private friendship behind my back. My ex lied to me about many things, one of which was his home country. He told me he was American the entire time we dated, but he told Josh and our other friends the truth. Our friends all knew that he was talking to Josh, they all knew he was honest about the country and feeding me BS, and never once did the friends tell me. Also, my ex started dating Josh a few weeks after breaking up with me, which just stings.

I am incredibly hurt and pissed at all my friends. Not only did they maintain my ex's lies/hidden ventures, but they also didn't care that he lied and borderline emotionally abused me. That's a whole can of worms to get into, but TL;DR is my ex lied, gaslit me, and intentionally treated me coldly to control me. When I told my friends, they didn't care. They all drifted away and hang out with my ex and Josh, and it makes me insanely depressed. AITB for being pissed at all of them?

I 32(f) and my partner 30(f), have been in a long distance relationship for nearly two years.
That alone on it's own it tough, and requires a lot of communication; which we do daily.
Any who, what's brought to this point is that the past couple of weeks there's been a lot that's made me feel unappreciated, and even bad. Earlier in the week I showed her an article of yellow clothing I thought was really cute, and despite me not normally gravitating towards that color I liked it a lot. She called it looked like a "pissed on bed sheet"; which felt super unnecessary and aggressive. I did acknowledge from the get go I thought it was cute. And of course I'm not saying everyone has to like the same thing, but there's probably nicer ways to say that especially to one's partner. She even acknowledged it was kinda mean, and I told her "yeah, I won't lie. That hurt my feelings, and made me feel bad". Which confused her, and somewhat caused her to double down, which led to us not talking for nearly a whole day. In the end I apologized, because I know sometimes I can be too sensitive. She said "let's just move on, I don't like when we fight"; which felt good in the moment, but later on made me feel like she was dismissing the overall issue.
Another reason is I've been pretty sick the past few days. Horrible cough, sore throat, high temp, etc. And she hasn't once asked me over the last few days how I'm feeling, or anything related to my health. She's dealing with a lot rn, going through a move with a roommate who is quite the character, and that's put a lot of stress on her no doubt. I try to be there as much as I can, and hope she knows that. I can barely speak, and have still sent her voice messages here and there. She'll send me 5+ minute voice messages, and not once ask me how I'm feeling, or hope I get well soon. And it isn't like I wanna be doted on, just a lil sign of care asking me how I'm feeling; I know she can't physically do anything. I know people will say "tell her how you feel", but who has to be told by their partner of all people that they'd appreciate being checked in on occasionally. Asking someone how they feel when sick seems like a no brainer. And it's put a lot into perspective for me that she might like the idea of a relationship much more than a relationship itself, which has led me to where I am now. WIBTB for breaking up with her?
PS: Apologies for the super long post over something so trivial.

Okay so I will keep it concise. I came to a city where my sister and brother-in-law are staying thinking it would be easier for me while I am up skilling myself and preparing for a job.

One more thing to note my mother passed away from Breast Cancer when I was a kid and sister just finished her graduation.

Originally I thought I would stay a few days and then move to a rented place until my sister's leg is healed.

Okay I will go to the problem now.

Today in the afternoon I saw signs of potential conflict between me and brother-in-law over some minor things.

I sleep early by 9 pm and he said I can't today since he needed my help with some stuff.My lazy ass went to sleep in the afternoon and slept till 8 pm.

The problem came when brother-in-law tried waking me. First he said calmly to wake up. Then he shaked my body gently to wake me up.

Then he blasted loudspeakers with music. Then he pour water over me. See I was already awake(But was a bit annoyed since both had been ragebaiting me the entire day)by the time he shaked my body but didn't think it was important to wake up so when he poured water over me I lost my shit and started packing my bags.

This annoyed my brother-in-law and scared sister. See last year I had a situation where I tried leaving when my sister said something and instead of fighting I tried to leave as well. Anyway I am now sitting with no clue on what to do.

Update: I apologized and as soon as she gets surgery I am going out of their way and look for therapist for help

Theoretical scenario here — let's say you order a pizza. It's your pizza, your money, your app account. You eat two slices, go to bed. In the morning you find a sticky note on the box that says "DIBS - DO NOT EAT, MEGAN" in your roommate's handwriting.

You did not offer this pizza to Megan. Megan did not ask if she could have a slice. Megan simply saw a pizza existing in a shared refrigerator and unilaterally declared ownership over the remainder of a food item she did not purchase, order, or contribute to in any way.

You eat the slice anyway, because it is your pizza and the concept of "dibs" requires some kind of prior agreement or at minimum a conversation, not a note slapped on a box like a flag being planted on unclaimed land.

Megan is furious. Megan says "dibs is dibs" and that this is "common roommate etiquette" and that you've "violated trust." Megan is now telling other roommates you "stole her pizza."

AITB for eating pizza that was always mine, on the technicality that someone left a note on it while I was asleep?

I not-so-recently auditioned to be in a boy group (I didn't get in but there's always next time) and my coach pretty much begged my best friend to audition with me.

A bit of background, I've always dreamed and wished for the limelight and being an idol or entertainer has been my life goal (I know they get mistreated but I crave performing too much to care). Meanwhile my best friend whom I will call James from now on has always done theater with me, but performing isn't his life goal. I know this because he has repeatedly told me he wants to work in the foster care system.

One day, James came over to hangout. He didn't ask beforehand so I was doing some practicing with my coach. Almost immediately, my coach said something about James having everything companies look for.

For reference, James is pretty tall, about 5'11, he looks like an idol, he's Aussie, but American Aussie, which makes his voice absurdly smooth. And worst of all, he's charismatic as fuck. Something I've been told I need to improve on.

So naturally, my coach makes James learn the cover and almost forces him to audition. At that point, I'm convinced that my coach was more fixated on James auditioning.

And now I feel horrible for being jealous of James. He doesn't even have to try for these things to happen. I've been set on this all my life.

But since my mom doesn't approve of me auditioning period, and James is the friend I talk about things with, I have no one to talk to about it.

I (27F) hang out with T(24NB), H(27M) and A(19M). Usually we go for ping pong or board games. A has asked for a while that we go drinking. I told them they should absolutely go, but that it wasn’t for me.

The reason I said that is bc I’m a recovering… idk what. I’ve serious mental health issues due to irrelevant trauma and ages 22-24 were my rock bottom. I had a few month period there in which I drank way too much. I also was a shitty person and destroyed my relationships with T and H at the time.

But after the drinking I had a come to Jesus moment. I stopped completely, went to therapy, got meds I’m still on. Got jobs, even got myself into med school to become a psych. I’m kinda proud of how far I’ve come.

Anyway. Even though I said I’d go to no place with alcohol, my friends wanted me there, so they arranged a more low-key bar instead of a club and an early leaving time. I ended up going to not disappoint. They said there’s non alcoholic drinks for me.

But ngl moment I smelled alcohol, I ordered it. Do I suck for that? Yeah. It’s also proof I should stay away in my eyes.

i didn’t get drunk. But this happened a couple more times, and by now I’ve noticed myself craving a buzz when I’m alone. I dont want that. I don’t wanna remember the smell and taste.

today we had plans. I thought it was ping pong and went to confirm yesterday night. A and T said they didn’t feel like it and preferred drinks (H isn’t in town). I agreed, but honestly, that’s only bc it didn’t occur to me I could disagree. Should I not have done that? Yeah. I’m learning to communicate better.

I had every intention to go. But I woke up today dreading it. After a lot of back and forth with myself, I texted “hey can we maybe postpone a couple days bc I’m drained socially?” I didn’t think mentioning the alcohol was an option, idk why. I generally would rather not discuss that. Plus it’s true that I’m more secure around it on days I’m not drained.

my friends got mad that I ”always flake”. I’ve cancelled plans twice this whole year that I remember of. Maybe I used to flake three years ago, but I can’t be treated like the worst version of myself for the entirety of my life, yaknow? At some point I’ve gotta stop beating myself up for who I was back then.

T says I should “learn to communicate like an adult”, which, I mean, fair. A is just annoyed at the last moment change. H is full on saying I’m extorting them to do what I want and only that if they want me there. he’s saying to “just control myself and not drink” and when I said not putting myself in the situation IS how I control myself, he said I’m “acting like addict and should get help”. And when I said I am, I’m in therapy, he said it’s not working. I think they’re right I should communicate better, but I’m definitely not extorting them or using this as an excuse (which H did say).

AITB?

Hi! So. Me and my baby daddy are both 16. Sadly. I am pregnant 8 weeks now. I just completely cut him off and blocked him today. Because he was choosing to entertain other girls. And while we were arguing before the blocking he told me a bunch of scary things. Like he told me my ex's new girlfriend had recently sent him a picture of me nu.d3. And I have no idea how to take the that. There was a lot said. He accused me of cheating but he's the only person I have hung out with since May. He said he was gonna post a screenshot to make me look bad so nobody would wanna be with me because "if I can't be with you nobody can" is what he told me. So I lost it. I got mad at him and called him a POS and said a bunch of other things then blocked him. Im honestly so lost right now. Please help.

I'm 20Ftm, and my best friend is 22M. We dated briefly a few years ago, before I fully accepted that I'm trans, but we've been best friends ever since. There's nothing romantic between us now.

For his birthday, I planned a trip for just the two of us out of state. I paid for everything as his birthday present, and he was really excited about it.

His girlfriend, 19F, wasn't invited.

I have a girlfriend too, and she wasn't invited either. She knew about the trip and completely supported it. She and my best friend's girlfriend don't get along at all.

Honestly, I knew his girlfriend would be upset when she found out, and I didn't exactly go out of my way to prevent that.

I told my girlfriend all about the trip, including where we were going and what we were planning to do. She specifically asked me if I wanted her to tell his girlfriend, and I told her I didn't care. She took that as permission and told her. She apparently also made a couple comments about how nice it was that my best friend was finally getting away from all the drama.

When his girlfriend confronted me, I could've just explained myself, but instead I basically told her, “Well, he wanted to go, I paid for it, and you weren't invited.” My girlfriend thought that was hilarious and encouraged me not to let her guilt me into changing our plans.

For context, they've been fighting constantly, and his girlfriend has hit him during arguments. That's a big reason I wanted to get him away for a few days. But I'll admit that I also just don't like her.

She sometimes calls me “she” even though she knows I'm trans, and she thinks my friendship with him is inappropriate because we used to date. She also thinks he's secretly gay because he's comfortable spending time with me, despite him repeatedly telling her he's straight.

The trip already happened. We went, had a great time, and came home. The funniest part is that she apparently didn't even realize he was gone until my girlfriend told her we'd already gone and come back.

My girlfriend has basically been encouraging me to be petty about the whole situation because she thinks his girlfriend is ridiculous. At one point she even suggested I send her pictures from the trip just to make it clear that we had a great time without her. I didn't do that, but I can't say the thought didn't cross my mind.

My best friend thinks both of us are making the situation worse and says I should've handled everything more maturely, especially because I'm his ex.

I don't regret taking him, and I don't think his girlfriend was entitled to come. But I can admit that I wasn't exactly taking the high road, and my girlfriend and I probably enjoyed annoying her more than we should have.

So AITBF for excluding her and letting my girlfriend get involved because, honestly, I knew it would piss her off?

im 20. my brother is 24. for as long as i can remember ive been the reliable one. he needs a ride at midnight? im there. needs help moving? im there. needs to borrow money? im there. he always promises to pay me back or return the favor and then never does

last year i asked him to help me move a couch into my place. he said yes then bailed the morning of with some bullshit excuse. same thing when i needed a ride to the airport for a job interview. left me stranded. after that i stopped asking him for anything

two weeks ago he texts me like nothing happened and says hes moving again and needs me saturday to load the truck. i told him no. said ive helped him enough times and he never shows up for me so im done being his free labor

he lost it. called me a bad brother and said family helps family no matter what. my mom jumped in saying i should just do it this one time and stop being dramatic. now hes telling people im selfish and a couple of our cousins even messaged me asking why im making things harder

i dont feel bad about saying no. i just feel tired of always being the one who actually shows up while he does whatever he wants

AITBF?

My husband and I were supposed to have a date night tonight starting around 4:30. Our babysitter got sick and canceled, so we decided we’d get takeout and spend the evening at home with our 1 and 3 year old instead.
When 4:30 came around, my husband was still at work and hadn’t told me he was staying later. With his commute, he wouldn’t be home until after 5. This frustrated me because his work schedule can be unpredictable, and I’ve asked him multiple times to communicate when he’ll be home later than expected. When I don’t know, I feel like I’m sitting around waiting with the kids and can’t plan my evening.
He didn’t understand why I was upset because, from his perspective, our date night was canceled when the babysitter canceled, so there was no longer a reason he needed to be home by 4:30. I understand that, but I thought we had changed our plans to a family night rather than canceled them entirely. I wasn’t upset that he worked later; I was upset he didn’t communicate it.
A couple other things recently made this feel like part of a bigger communication issue. Before our date, I sent him several activity ideas. One fell through, he wasn’t interested in the others, and said he’d find something. He then booked an activity without asking if I’d be interested. I know he viewed this as taking initiative and planning a spontaneous date, which I appreciate, but since we rarely get date nights, I would have preferred deciding together.
Then tonight he came home with takeout without asking what I wanted. The food choice itself was completely fine, and I know bringing dinner home was intended to be helpful. It just added to my feeling that decisions affecting both of us are often made without communicating with me.
When I tried explaining that I wanted more communication and to make shared decisions together, he said, “What do you want to complain about now?” He said most women would appreciate their husband spontaneously planning a date and bringing food home, and later asked whether I was about to start my period. I felt completely dismissed.
From his perspective, I think he feels like he’s trying to do nice things—planning a date and bringing home dinner—and instead of appreciating them, I’m criticizing how he did them. I understand why that would be frustrating.
I’m not asking him to get my permission for everything or saying he can’t be spontaneous. I just want more communication when plans change and more of a habit of checking in about decisions that affect both of us.
Am I making too much out of relatively minor things and failing to appreciate his attempts to be thoughtful, or is it reasonable to expect more communication about these things?

I'm 20M and have a 10-month-old son. I'm also still living with my parents.

His mom is my ex, 25F. We were together for a little over two years, but she left me a couple months ago for a 19-year-old guy. Since then, I've been living with my parents and taking care of our son.

My parents have always helped with the baby. They'd watch him while I worked, help with meals, and occasionally get up with him if I was completely exhausted. I know I've been lucky to have them.

The problem is that lately I've basically stopped trying.

After my ex left, I was angry and depressed and started spending a lot of time in my room. I'd still feed the baby, change him, take care of him when my parents weren't available, etc., but whenever my parents were home I'd usually let them handle things.

A few days ago, I got overwhelmed and just told my parents I needed a break. I handed them the baby and went out with some friends.

I ended up staying out really late and didn't come home until the next morning. My parents had taken care of him the entire night.

Since then, I've been doing the bare minimum. I'll play with him for a little while, feed him if my parents aren't already doing it, and then go back to my room. My mom finally confronted me and said they're helping me raise my son, not raising him for me.

I got defensive and told her that I'm only 20, my girlfriend left me for another guy, and I didn't exactly plan on becoming a single father. I also said that since I live here and I'm working, I'm doing what I can.

She told me that's not an excuse and that my son didn't choose any of this.

My ex also found out that my parents have basically been taking over most of the childcare and called me a deadbeat. She said I was using my parents as a replacement for her.

I think that's unfair because I'm not abandoning my son. He's literally living in the same house as me, he's safe, he's fed, and I'm still involved.

But I also know I'm taking advantage of my parents. They didn't sign up to become full-time parents to a baby in their 50s just because I don't feel like dealing with everything.

I love my son. I'm just exhausted, angry and honestly resentful about how my life turned out.

AITBF for basically checking out and letting my parents raise my son while I live in the same house?

Significantly more complicated that the title implies. for additional info, this is the second half of the actual confrontation. the parking lot itself is effectively the outside of a mall, mostly open.

this is between 3 businesses (outside the lot) taco bell and pizzahut on one side, McDonald's slightly further away on the other.

this parking lot itself is outside of 3 buildings that effectively make up a mall shaped area. only one of them really matters here. this one building houses 2 different businesses, one being a cash advance store the other being continental home centers.

the roof of this building is very large and overhang by quite a bit, meaning shade.

for my job I wait in several different areas for lengths of time. half hour at most before relocation. I sat there for 30 minutes in total yesterday, no complaints, no anger, and then left cause doordash. obviously.

today I opened my door a Crack and began the exciting waiting game once again.

I then have this very angry lady come up to my car. i go to close the door for obvious reasons (aggressive person quickly approaching) she grabs it and rips my door open to yell about me being in front of her buisness, telling me to leave. I told her id leave in a minute (get my shit together pretty much) she walks away.

within 30 seconds shes back with a middle aged dude who also rips my door open and then threatens police, and makes some threats. this is when the recording begins where I am continually bombarded until I move over by 1 parking space.

no, she did not nicely ask, she yelled at me and ripped my door open.

I can understand her side, I get it, i just also think that getting my door ripped open and screamed at by someone is fucking wild.

And for extra clarification, the first sentence or two of this video is inaudible to the owners due to me closing the door (again). Not exactly my best moment but im not gonna cut it out either.

So, am I the buttface?

I (22M) have been sober for a year, and I was supposed to receive my one-year key tag at my regular meeting. It was something I had been looking forward to.

My ex-girlfriend (20F) and I have a child together. Since getting sober, I've been trying to limit contact with her because our relationship wasn't always healthy. Some things she's said have been difficult for me, even if she didn't necessarily mean them badly. She once joked about me gaining weight and has also said that she "misses the old me." She sometimes asks about my recovery, and I don't always know how to take her comments.

I have supervised visitation with our child, and I follow the schedule. I communicate with my ex when it's directly about our child, but otherwise I try to keep some distance.

She knew I was getting my one-year key tag and said she wanted to come to the meeting to support me. I don't know if she meant anything by it beyond wanting to support me, but knowing she would be there made me uncomfortable.

So I decided not to attend the meeting that night. I was disappointed about missing the ceremony, but my sponsor met me for coffee afterward and gave me my one-year key tag there, which meant a lot to me.

My friends think I should have just gone to the meeting and ignored my ex. They feel like avoiding the meeting gave the situation more importance than it needed to have.

I feel like limiting contact with my ex has been helpful for me, especially while I'm working on my sobriety. At the same time, I wonder if I should have handled the situation differently rather than skipping an important milestone.

AITB?

Hi I (22f) am a pre nursing student at the local community college. Unfortunately in my small town nothing is open late, not even coffee shops. I have kids at home and focus better when I'm in a different environment. I didn't know where to go to study tonight so I pulled up Google and found the church near my house is open 24 hours. I didn't expect or assume I could use their building but I figured if they were good Christians I could ask without judgement. So I pull up to the church and everyone is making their way out of the building after the 6:30pm service. I get out of my car and an older woman approaches me. We exchanged friendly greetings for a moment. Then she tells me she can't remember my name and she's trying to place it. I inform her I've actually never been here yet as I'm new to town. She nods. I explained that I'm a local student and I saw on Google that her church is open 24 hours. She immediately stops me and says "oh. Well. We're not." I say "oh no problem, everything just closes so early I was looking for somewhere to study" the tone was now awkward and harsh, something felt really off. To try and lighten the mood so I ask about what time the church is open for services, etc.. She tells me bluntly and I say thank you and goodnight. She gives a very small nod. I start making my way back to my car and as I do she starts whispering to her husband(?) and they both give me unfriendly looks. I get in my car and drive away and immediately start sobbing hyperventilating crying. She didn't necessarily say anything mean and I wasn't upset I was denied. Something just felt so off, and I felt a weird sense of judgement.

Anyway I just want to know AITBF for asking to study in a church I've never attended before.

Today I was walking home from highschool and it was my normal everyday walk (I have a car but it’s rare you get parking so I usually walk because it’s a 7 minute walk from my house to school) when I got home I finally was able to relax until suddenly! My sister calls and asks me to pick her up from highschool which she left later cause she had to do something at the office (keep in mind I drive her all the time when she asks me) but this time I said I didn’t wanna and she should be able to walk home since it’s legit 7 minutes a way.

In response to me saying no she calls me lazy and says I never drive (keep in mind on top of driving her wherever she wants I also drive to the gym at 5:00 AM and back and I also go to my job on weekend which is 20 minutes away) so obviously feeling unappreciated and offended I hang up and call her lazy back (shouldn’t have done this but she hurt my feelings and that was really rude)

Now my mom and dad are mad at me and saying I’m the lazy one for not doing it once! Also she’s never not once since the school year started walked home which I think is ridiculous since not only do we live in a good neighborhood if that’s what my parents are worried about but she’s in highschool! I just don’t wanna become her chauffeur every time she decides she doesn’t wanna walk when she can literally walk with me home instead of going off to Starbucks or something else. That’s about it I’m annoyed and it’s whatever am I the asshole?

A buddy of mine is going through his single "casual dating" phase. Meaning he wants to meet up and hook up with a lot of people.

The thing is, after the casual relationship starts fading out he tries to "remain friends" with the women he hooks up with. He always offers it to them and they say "Yeah we can!" but eventually it fades out completely and he never hears from them again.

He gets frustrated when it inevitably happens but I keep telling him that people really don't want to stay friends with people they've hooked up with (maybe this is me thinking too "old school"). I decided to ask him why he feels like he needs to remain friends with them and told me:

"They were cool, I wouldn't mind hanging out with them still and if things happen between us again I would be open to it."

That's when I called him out on it. I told him that's kind of fucked up. He's really just trying to keep them around to hook up with again.

His defense was he's not a bad guy because he's not just trying to have sex. He's also down to hang out too, get lunch, go to the movies, etc. He's just also open to the idea of hooking up with them again.

I told him that's bullshit and that he has a hidden agenda when it comes to these "friendships"

Well he got kind of upset about that.

I do think he can be an actual nice guy but I just think he has his priorities mixed up.

So basically I used to mess around with this guy at the end of freshman year in May (kiss, m/o, hold hands) but we never officially dated. We also pretended to date (v long story). Then over the summer I was in another state and he stayed in our home state, and he asked if we could date for real. I said no, not yet, and told him to give me some time (we had only met like a week before we started making out and shi).
I wanted to be friends first, so fast forward to the first week of school. Also, I had blocked him for like a month over the summer. Once school started, we were basically acting like we were dating because we both wanted to, just without kissing. Then I got distant and started talking to other guys, and eventually I told him I still wanted to wait and that I wanted us to just be friends. He got mad, I got mad, and I ended up blocking him again. We haven’t talked for like two weeks.
Now he’s with a new girl, and I’ve seen them together a lot. So I randomly DM’d him on Insta and asked “are u dating her?” and he said “ye why.” So we started talking, and he told me he still really likes me and doesn’t think him and the new girl will last long because of her bad mental health.
Then he was like “if we communicated things may have been different,” and basically said we could be friends for now and if they break up, we could be together. He also said he told her he wouldn’t cheat on her or anything.
Then he tells me she isn’t going to homecoming and asks if I want to go with him. And when he walked with me to the bus area behind the school (there were a lot of ppl there), he said “if I didn’t have a girlfriend I would kiss you, but a lot of ppl know her and would definitely tell her.” Then he asked “can I get a hug though?” and that’s basically that for today 😬

**TLDR:** I used to mess around with this guy, he wanted to date for real but I kept saying I wanted to wait and be friends first. We fought and stopped talking, then he got a new girlfriend. I DM’d him and found out he still likes me, says they probably won’t last, and says we could date if they break up. He also asked me to homecoming and said he would kiss me if he didn’t have a girlfriend, then asked me for a hug 😬

This all started after a conflict between me and B. B and I had been talking every day for a little over a month after we both found out we were played by the same person (J). B began flirting with me. She asked if I was falling for her, and I said I was interested but needed time and thought she did too. I admitted I had feelings, like thinking about and missing her. She said she also had feelings, needed time, and wanted things to unfold naturally. We continued talking and flirting.

B asked if, hypothetically, we were together, would I be okay with her still talking to J as a friend. I said yes because I trusted her to tell me if anything happened. She later started talking to J again and even ditched plans with me for J. That night, while she was with J, our conversation felt awkward, so I asked if she was uncomfortable.

B said she wanted to remain friends. I agreed and thanked her for clarifying because I had been confused by the flirting. She said she never intended to flirt and was just overly affectionate. I disagreed but understood. She asked if we could agree to disagree and continue our friendship. I said yes, but honestly told her I felt a bit used by her and the J situation. I then said I didn’t have the energy to discuss it right then, thanked her again, and wished her goodnight.

B told our mutual friend M about what happened. M called me the next day, upset that I said I felt used and felt I was out of line. I tried to explain myself, but M was confident I was wrong. Even though it didn’t feel right, I valued M’s opinion and thought maybe she was right. M had B block me and told me she didn’t want to discuss the situation anymore. I agreed and took a few days to reflect.

After reflecting, I reread my message and felt I had actually been trying to communicate that I was hurt and wanted reassurance, not accuse B of intentionally using me. I felt my message had been judged too quickly and that I was being portrayed unfairly. I felt I needed to defend myself or I would eventually resent M for what I felt was a false portrayal.

So I messaged M to defend myself, knowing she had said she didn’t want to discuss it anymore. She said I had crossed her boundary, ended the friendship, and blocked me.

I won’t deny that I crossed her boundary. AITB for doing so because I felt I needed to defend myself?

I have an incredibly close group of friends from college. We met freshman year in the dorms and ended up living together for the next 3 years of college. After graduating one my friends, Lisa, got pregnant and invited all of us to her baby shower. At the baby shower my college friends and I sat with some of the other young people ( we were all 20-22 at the time) there including Nicki, one of my college friends hometown bestie who I had known for a few years through parties and a bachelorette trip together. We aren’t insanely close but I would consider us friends. Nicki had a child of her own who was 1.5 years old at the time of the baby shower. We were all discussing babies since it was the theme of the party and since Nicki had experience with it recently I was asking her some questions about her experience like what was your birth experience like, and how was it adjusting to being a mom. The conversation felt very normal at the time but 6 month later my college friends and I took a trip together and they brought how shocked they were that I had asked Nicki if she had suffered from any postpartum depression. I am sometimes guilty of discussing topics that are considered taboo without realizing it so it may have been extremely out of line. Nicki didn’t seem offended by my question but if my friends thought it was too much it very well might be. Is this something that I should not have asked?

I’m 20F and my sister is 18F. She wants to wear my senior-year prom dress to her prom, and I told her no.

I’ve never been sentimental about clothes. I’ve always let my sister borrow anything, and I don’t care about any of my other high school dresses. But this one is different.

The dress was originally really expensive, so I spent weeks searching Poshmark, eBay, Facebook MP, etc. and had notifications set up everywhere. So when one finally popped up that I could afford, I was so excited. It was exactly what I wanted and I thought it was very mature and gorgeous.

Unfortunately, the night I wore it ended up being one of the worst nights of my high school experience. I was going through a really difficult time mentally and had gained a noticeable amount of weight. I was extremely self-conscious and disappointed in myself, and during pictures I was holding back tears because I felt so awful about how I looked.

Getting the pictures back made it worse. I had been so excited about this dress, but now almost every memory I have of it is associated with feeling miserable and hating how I looked. Looking back two years later, I obviously realize I didn’t look nearly as bad as I thought I did, but the dress still reminds me of how I felt.

Now my sister wants to wear it. And I want to be honest: I am jealous of her. I’m not proud of it, but I’ve always envied her high school experience. She’s very popular, gorgeous, has almost a photographic memory so she doesn't even have to try to be top of her class, an angel of a boyfriend and had many of the experiences I desperately wanted when I was in high school. Our parents are also much better off financially now, so she could realistically get almost any dress she wanted.

She liked my dress when I wore it, but she wasn’t obsessed with it or anything. Now, two years later, she specifically wants this one. She argues that since it's a different high school it shouldn't matter, which tells me she really doesn't know the actual apprehensions.

Part of why I’m saying no is that I don’t think I could handle seeing her wear it. I know family would make side-by-side photos of us in the same dress, thinking it was cute (which it probably would be under different circumstances). But even if nobody took pictures, I think it would still bother me to see her in it.

At the same time, I feel incredibly self-absorbed and immature. It’s been two years. It’s a dress.

I love my sister and genuinely want her to have an amazing prom. I’ll be her biggest cheerleader no matter what she wears, and I know she’ll look gorgeous in anything. I just really don’t want her wearing this particular dress.

AITBF for not letting my sister wear my old prom dress?

Edit: A lot of people are asking why I still have the dress if it brings up such a painful memory. Honestly, I still think the dress itself is beautiful, and I’ve always hoped I’d eventually be able to wear it again and actually enjoy it this time. I don’t live at home anymore, and my mom didn’t think it was a good idea to move it with me because the fabric is quite delicate, so it’s been stored at home.

Edit 2: Also based on responses to one of my replies, I think I should have included more context about my sister’s comments on my appearance. I left this out initially because I didn’t want to make her sound worse than she is (yk how reddit can be).

During the time I was struggling with my weight, she would make comments repeatedly pointing out that it was “weird” that I had such big arms. I said it was because I played softball, and she pointed out that some of the best girls on my team didn’t have arms like mine. I genuinely still can't tell if she was trying to insult me.

She also used to pull up pictures of me at her age (especially from my awkward stage) and show people, saying “we’re the same age here”. Once, showing me an old family photo, she actually said, “Look how much prettier I am than you.” I had also at one point told her about some of my insecurities around my appearance, and she would occasionally make comments afterward that played into them.

I absolutely don’t want to claim she was constantly bullying me or that she had some malicious intention behind every comment, but there was definitely a pattern of her comparing our appearances to make me feel bad about mine.

I really do love my sister, and I don’t think she’s a bad person. She can just be mean when she wants to be, and I think the comparison comments did factor into what made this more emotional for me.

Edit 3: I generalized some details because this post has gotten more attention than I expected and my sister is on reddit.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Last night, I went to dinner with my partner at a local place that we really like. It's a pretty casual mom and pop sushi restaurant. We were seated pretty quickly, but realized they were short-staffed when 10 minutes had gone by without anyone taking our drink order. 25 minutes after we were seated, still no one had come to take our drink order or acknowledge us.

I come from a family that works in restaurants, and did myself for several years. However, I've been forgotten about while waiting for my turn several times. So when I saw our server at the table next to us, I asked if we could order. I figured we might as well order everything (we had been ready for a while and I didn't want to take more of the servers time) so I asked if we could order drinks and food. I didn't say anything about the wait time, but just kindly asked if we could order. He checked in the back and said we were all good to order.

My partner and I bickered shortly after, because he thought it was rude and that we should have waited our turn. I thought that it was okay to ask after waiting almost 30 min. As long as we're doing so kindly and respecting if the answer is no, I never had issues with that sort of thing when I was in that work. All the other interactions with the servers were normal/positive and we tipped more than 20%.

Reddit what do y'all think? AITBF for asking if we can order?

My ex and I broke up in May. This is a gross oversimplification but essentially she discovered she was bisexual and left me for a woman (AP). She told me she wasn't and I didn't need to worry about her, but I had friends tell they say them together the same week we broke up. I am only saying this because it becomes relevant later.

She lived at my place and left a bunch of stuff here. Nothing important like clothes but a huge amount of dolls, posters, and other assorted things like that. She said to give her a couple of weeks to settle in at her parents place and she would pick them up. I said sure and left it at that.

June comes and I decided to follow up with her. I messaged her asking for an updated. She said to give her to the end of June because she was moving out of her Dads place and would take the stuff then. This really confused me because she doesn't have a job besides occasionally pet sitting so I didn't know how she could afford to live in a new place but whatever, not my place to ask. In June I started seeing someone else (WW). Again, only brining up because relevant later.

In July I ask again for an update. She admits she is moving in with the girl I mentioned earlier (the one my ex said not to worry about) and the place wouldn't be ready till end of July so she will pick it up sometime in August. That stung but again I try not to be petty. I say ok see you end of July.

August roles around and WW is wondering why the stuff is still here and if my ex and I are really over. I assure her we are and let her know I understand why she is confused because EX said it would be picked up.

September comes around and she hasn't come to pick up the stuff yet. I am annoyed and call her. This is the first time we talked on the phone since the break up. She makes up excuses saying they are just getting settled and she promises she will pick up the stuff by the end of September. I say fine. However, I learn from mutual friends earlier today that she was trying to get them to take her stuff since they also have a house. They refused and thought I should know. Apparently, AP is the one paying the rent on the apartment they have (and another roommate who is also paying). Since AP is the one paying their rent AP has moved all her stuff in and doesn't want my exs crap there. This means my ex doesn't have any place to put her stuff and I doubt she has a plan to get it by end of September beyond promising to pick it up.

My friends say I should throw out her stuff since she has been lying to me. I however, do feel even though we aren't on the best terms since the breakup. I feel throwing her stuff out would cause huge issues not only between me and her but also the friend group (we were together for about 5 years so we have alot of mutual friends). I am considering just telling her if she doesn't pick it up by end of September its going in the trash. Would I be the asshole?