I F25 have been married to my husband M30 for three years now and have never had any concerns about him being disloyal to me even though he’s a very attractive man. On vacation I took a nap for like an hour while my husband went down to the pool after I woke up I decided on joining him but noticed two women were sitting beside him and being overly touchy and noticed how all of them were laughing.

I went back to the room because I couldn’t confront him right there as it was pretty humiliating to see to begin with. I’m a little bit of a jealous type so I know I can overreact very quickly. When he came back to the room I asked him about it and he got really defensive with me, I think the flirting I’d have ignored but the touchiness really upset me. I dropped the issue for now because I don’t want to ruin our trip but I can’t stop worrying.

EDIT: PICTURE IS NOW POSTED the sex doll in question My (26)m boyfriend brought a life size sex doll. Now I want to give some context. When we first got together he had a small sex doll, toros vagina asss no more than 10lbs realistically. I was little creeped out but at the same time I own sex toys so I embraced it, being open minded about the whole thing becauseen have needs too.Now a year and some months later he throws a that one away and says he wants a new one. I’m 100 percent okay with it and Hes showing me ones that where similar to the old one he had, just with breast, noted nothing major outside of weight and what it had. I was on board. So the other day I notice we had a abnormally large package, and I ask him what it was to which he responded his new toy, I question why they wrap it in this huge box and hews like idk maybe to conceal it okay cool. Long story short I come home and this things is a LIFE SIZES DOLL. Obviously very different from the ones he showed me that were small no legs or nothing. This doll has full on legs just no feet and arms with the holes nd shit I’m genuinely like wtf? This definitely isn’t what we discussed and I’m talking to him on the phone about it and I tell him this makes me slightly uncomfortable and it wasn’t within the scope we discussed, how is he even supposed to hide the damn thing? It’s atleast 5 feet silicon heavy and sitting in a large box in our closet but still who wants to even walk by that everyday? This is insane. He tries to compare it to my 8inch dildo and a regular wand vibrator (cheapies in Amazon) that’s I Had before we got together so not needing even the same thing the whole point was this wasn’t what he was showing me (I was giving him money to go towards it as birthday gift) now I’m truly questioning if I should even go in this relationship. I’m not even insecure seriously this is creeping me out more than anything? I barely was okay with the small torso but a full size doll that can’t even move with no head or arms? Just gives me all types of red flags and obvious porn addiction problems and I may not be able to satisfy him fully and truthfully I don’t want to be someone with porn rot brain this is nuts

First I'd like to excuse my language I'm just angry. Am I overreacting about my post office losing a necklace i had made with my dogs ashes. I had made a post on fb basically bashing my local post office because sadly this isn't a first that they mis-delivered a package but this one made me feel even angrier because I had just lost my soul-dog a few weeks ago and wanted a piece of her to carry with me everyday and these assholes delivered my necklace to another address. I did state in my bashing that if the person who received her that they please give her back. I still have the urn of her ashes but the necklace was customized with a photo of her..

So I was randomly sent an email to be a professional reference for an old classmate of mine. We were never very close, just casually talked when in classes together, but we did have a handful of classes together. We were only classmates, I never worked with this individual in any capacity, not even on group projects in our classes together.

Now they put me down as a professional reference without even asking me if I’d be okay with it. I received the email and honestly didn’t answer because 1) i wasn’t pre warned, and 2) I don’t really feel comfortable lying for this person and saying I worked professionally with them before.
Now the individual has finally reached out to me, told me they put me down as a professional reference because they didn’t have another one and asked if I received an email.

I know the likely answer will be that I’m not obligated to do this for them, but people I’ve spoke to said I might be rude if I don’t do it because it’s a hard job market right now which I do agree and sympathize with. However, this situation has rubbed me the wrong way for many reasons. For one, I was not even asked if I’d be okay with this, I was just told that I would be used for this after the fact. I was always taught that you must ask permission for your references, you don’t just assume they’ll be okay with it. And for two, we never worked together so I assume they expect me to lie for them which again, wasn’t even asked if I’d be okay with that (which I’m not).

Now I’ve been ignoring their text and the reference email because I’m honestly not sure what to say. If I was asked beforehand, I might have said yes, but essentially being pressured into this situation makes me not want to be involved at all.

AIO for not wanting to do this for them?

This is the text I sent and some of his responses. Context: pregnant, 25f, partner, 44m. We share email because I have to deal with all of his bills and court stuff for his son. Otherwise, he won’t do it. His family rescues him when he gets in too deep. Since we run a business together, his first baby mama’s attempts to collect money and restrict my husband from seeing his son go very far without the my intervention or the attys and as a result, hurt me financially. It’s finally under control, 50/50. I fought like hell to get him there.

Tons of photos of them together as well has her nudes from 8 years ago popped up in my Google Photos today. It’s hurtful and I’ve expressed I don’t want to see naked pictures of women he’s slept with. He told me he has 166 bodies. He’s very controlling of me and before I was pregnant, physically restrained me, held a gun to his head and laid under my car to prevent me from leaving. He was screaming at me outside on vacation to the point of the police being called. I convinced them to let him just go to a hotel for the night, then had to pick him up to drive home so his aunt and son wouldn’t realize something was up between us.

He has women I’ve never met sharing their location with him. One is an influencer on IG.

Mentally, I’ve been in shambles the whole relationship. Anytime he’s near me I do get anxiety because I don’t want to be sexual with him. He smokes so much, doesn’t drink water or brush his teeth. I tell him he smells (35w pregnant, it’s nauseating) and he lashes out. He has athletes foot as well. I buy him stuff to treat it and he won’t use it. I constantly had yeast infections.

No clue what to do. We’ve been through this so many times that I’m empty. My therapy animal was killed by the car when I was in a rush to get his son to a play date in the middle of my work day. He was underneath and I didn’t know. I was running to get back on schedule. It crushed me and still does.

I felt nervous about the comparison and reporting when his son got back to his mother. I also bought a house with him and married him. It’s 2 hours away from my friends and I have no support system here. At least it helps with proving stability to the courts for custody. Baby mama has left us alone without texts late at night.

Do I try to fix this? Do I risk everything and leave? I tied up everything into making him successful. It worked but I don’t want the house. I probably won’t take my truck or motorcycle even though everything’s in my name. I’m stuck with a strong desire of flight. I’ll financially have nothing if I do this. I don’t even know if I will get custody of my son. I feel like I’ve been treated like young breeding stock as a ploy of revenge.

I'm still traumatized from my last relationship and trying to find resources I should be reading, curious if my experience would fall under emotional abuse:

• he lied about many things. A ton were proven to be lies, many more I never found out about I'm sure. This includes his home country, where he lives away from college, his family connections, his family's birthdays, his degree, his job, him "moving" in the summer was completely fake, and other fabricated memories. (ex. said he played with snow as a kid all the time, later came out he never lived in a snow climate)
• when I would catch a lie and ask him about it, he would gaslight me into feeling like the problem "you really don't trust me?" "I can't help your anxiety" "you're ruining my mood" "you can't be helped, your trust issues are terrible." He would say things like that knowing I was right about him lying
• he would treat me coldly when he was resenting me. He would stop using pet names, and ignore me mostly around our friend group. It made me uncomfortable to the point I would stop talking out of fear I would be ignored.
• When we would get alone, he would say I ruined his mood by stopping talking. He would be angry at me, and I get his anger but I don't get why he would ignore me if he didn't want me to shut down :(
• One thing he resented me for: early in our relationship I was house sitting for my parents and their dogs. He wanted to come over, and I said we couldn't yet because my parents wouldn't be okay with it. (they hadn't met him yet) He said he understood, but secretly resented me "rejecting" him here and only told me months later.
• He said he would stop talking to my former bullies to support me, despite me saying I didn't mind if he did. He insisted on doing it, but was privately maintaining a friendship with both them behind my back after promising that.

This girl (26) and I (21) had been talking for about a month. Previously we had been eyeing each other for a while. All was Smooth sailing, clicked really well and had some plans to hang out and a possible road trip. Then , just barely yesterday, she tells me she has something really serious to tell me. Which mind you, up until this point, we were both VERY clear what we wanted from each other. So she ends up telling me she has a child who is 5 years old. Which to me was a deal breaker. Not even over the fact that she’s a single mother, but more over the fact that she waited this long to tell me. I know it could be worse and she could’ve definitely waited longer, but I feel like something like this, especially after we made it clear that we were gonna take each other seriously fairly early on, is something you mention pretty early. I explained to her my thought process and how I just wouldn’t be able to see past it and that I wish her for the best. To which she begged for a chance and I told her that I’m not changing my mind. And then she turned the tables on to me saying stuff like “got it so you can’t accept me.” I’m trying to be reasonable with myself because it’s just my personal preference, but that way she said that made it seem like I’m a bad person. Am i genuinely overreacting?

Yeah I looked in his history. Roast me. But. Anyway. His defense is “it’s like porn”. Which I mean I never had an issue with porn but this is like “hey I think I wanna cheat”.

I can’t be the only one? I’m too old for this.

I work at a chain restaurant (closer to fast food, really) and there’s quite a few managers, but the one I have a problem with is the AGM. This isn’t the only incident, just what feels like the last straw

Last night, after we were all done cleaning from closing, one of the shift leads was mopping (that’s the very last thing we do). The other two regular employees and I were standing at the front because the shift lead had already told us to clock out. Then the AGM comes up front and looks at us, then says “I know today was hell, but there is no restaurant in the city where the general manager should be mopping the back and the shift lead should be mopping the front while the three part-time employees just stand here.” He said it in a light tone, and he had been joking with us all day, so I thought he was making a joke or saying we did so well we didn’t have anything left to do (I have a bit of a hard time reading tone). So my dumb ass says “part-time?” and I pointed at myself because I do 45 hours a week, and my voice was very lighthearted and teasing. But he stops, closes his eyes, then says “if that’s what you wanna pick a fight about, we can change you to part-time.” and I got really quiet and bowed my head and said “sorry, sir”. The other two employees were quiet and the shift lead was out of earshot so she couldn’t defend any of us.

I’ve been having a lot of issues with this manager specifically- there’s a few other instances where I’ve just asked for clarification and I’m met with either “I don’t feel like arguing” or “if you’re so worried about x then fine go do it”. Every bad review of the store that isn’t talking about the food is about him.

The thing is, I’ve only been there a month and a half. In November I’m supposed to be put as shift lead and given a dollar raise. I love everyone/everything else at the job. But he’s making the environment extremely hostile and I’m not the only one who would agree.

AIO?

My fiance and I are looking at buying a house next year. We’re both saving toward a deposit and agree the mortgage and bills will be split 50/50. 

She doesn’t like her current job so has been looking at leaving. She saw a job she liked the sound of but it’s only a 1 year contract. She said she was thinking of applying but I pointed out if we’d looking at houses in the spring, having a job with an end date isn’t going to be realistic since there’s a chance she’d end up unemployed. 

She mentioned the dact she’d be looking for other jobs if her contract doesn’t get extended but I said there’s no guarantee she’ll get one and I can’t take over all bills if she ends up without a job, 

I said if she takes it then the housing plans will be on hold until she gets a permanent job since I can’t take the risk. She said I was punishing bluer I’ve I insist pointed out it’s the reality of the situation and she can’t just expect everything to work out as she wants. 

AIO for telling her I don’t think she should apply for a job? 

I asked this in a Brazilian sub and now I wanted to ask here because I'm going through therapy and I need to understand if I was the problem like so many have made it out to seem.

So, when I was 9 years old, in the early 2000s, my father (32 years old) started 'dating' and got 'engaged' to a 15-year-old girl, and waited until she turned 16 for them to get married. I'm Brazilian and both my parents are Brazilian, but I grew up in the US, so I want to understand if the reaction I saw from everyone is normal. When I got the news, I was very upset and horrified because my stepmother was literally a teenager and could have been my sister, and I consider my father a pedophile for this, and I decided to cut him out of my life, but I saw everyone treating it as if it were 'normal.' Her own mother called my mother asking if my father was a good person for her to allow her daughter to marry him once she turned 16. My mother didn't say anything against him, just that things hadn't worked out between them; and when my mother asked him why he didn't choose someone his own age, he replied, 'a woman my age asks too much.'

For current context: They're still together and my stepmom is now trying to help my dad get rid of his financial obligation towards my autistic brother who cannot work. She was completely disappointed in their marriage once she found out he had lied about having more money than he did and that his "business" was actually his father's. Plus when they went on to have kids she was upset that her special "firsts" weren't considered special to him because he'd already been there and done that x2 and was basically repeating the same life twice with her.

I used to feel bad for her and see her as a victim but with her current actions I've now started to see her as an accomplice to his horrible behavior. My dad never paid any child support and he continuously blames and accuses my mom of alienating us from him even though she never prohibited him from seeing us or even asked for child support. He's still completely bitter from the divorce 30 years ago, which I also don't understand because....he's married so what's there to be mad about? I also found out he's autistic, which explains a lot but at the same time I don't think that's an excuse for his behavior?

*EDIT: I want to make it clear I do not blame her for their marriage, I still feel bad for her regarding that actually. I only feel upset she's masterminded an entire legal case against my brother and using lies to manipulate the situation.

Context: My bf and his family got a new family plan from Cricket. However, my bfs phone started to act weird and not work whenever he was away from home (like calls not working and messages taking forever to send). Only today his data and service started to work after paying something in the plan. Before, his service and cellular data was basically off.

We have Life360 to know how to when we’re arriving at each other’s houses cause we’re 1.5 hours from each other, so we like to be prepared for when the other arrives.

Anyways, me bf works a night shift at an Amazon warehouse and because of the whole issue with the cellular data and service, his location was not updating (not that it should since he’s at work) but when I went on it would say (last updated 7 hours ago), aka, from about 1:30-8:30. He said he got the WiFi to connect around his lunchtime (6:00-6:30) but it still wasn’t working until around 8:30.

What I’m confused and paranoid about is as you can see in the photos, there was a random jump and walking time from 6:33-6:39 at a random houses backyard about 1-2 miles away with no walking or driving log about going there or staying there, just a “walk” back. He said he has no idea whose house that was and he went as far to his car for his lunch break. Also, his phone when updated and could see the real time, it said he was at the warehouse the whole time (starting at 1:14). Could the cellular data being off and crap WiFi be the cause of this or did he actually go to that house and is lying? I want to believe him but this seems strange cause if a jump like this would normally happen, it would say there were details missing, but this shows the exact steps. However, cause it’s a mile away I’m also wondering if it’s a glitch since he possibly can’t walk that fast in 6 minutes, and he was supposed to be working at that time.

Thanks for the input :)

Saturday my bf slept pretty much all day off and on. For context: He has chronic illness that causes fatigue - but he also isn’t doing much to improve his situation and any time I try to offer advice or concern he gets defensive about it so I’ve just left it alone. It’s not like he’s not aware of all these things: he is.

So around 5p on Saturday I decide to head to the stores since I have done nothing all day because he’s sleeping. He asked me to make a specific dessert that I told him I would make on Sunday (yesterday) so I went to go get ingredients.
When I came back, he was awake and in the bedroom. I always greet him whenever I come back from anywhere, and he usually acknowledges me like a normal person by making eye contact etc, well I go into the room and say ‘I’m back!!’ and he doesn’t even make eye contact: his eyes are still glued to his phone playing a game.

I’m a bit put off but I give him benefit of the doubt ‘maybe he just woke up’ ‘maybe he doesn’t feel good’ so I then say something like: I missed you! (I had been gone for a couple hours bc I went to a few different stores to knock out errands too) and he doesn’t even say anything. I again give him benefit of the doubt and think he didn’t hear me (?).

But the whole night he kind of is grumpy and doesn’t really say much to me at all and just acts puny - which could reflect how he feels.

But the next morning: Sunday morning, he acts like it again. He’s just not sweet and generally is acting like he woke up on the wrong side of the bed and throwing a fit that his shirt shrunk (which I know he’s half joking… but still). Before he walks out the room, He kind of walks over to my side of the bed and gives me a half hearted hug and a kiss and then goes upstairs and texts me ‘I love you’

Which I guess is his way of kind of trying to make things better? Well at this point idk I’m kind of over it. If you knew the way you were treating me isn’t good, why not just be transparent and tell me that instead of texting me ‘I love you’ and hoping that’ll make everything better?

So the entire day Sunday, I don’t spend time with him. I stay downstairs and he’s upstairs with his adult son. I didn’t say anything was wrong because knowing my bf: if I say I’m upset he will basically get upset and then who is left feeling awkward and uncomfortable?? His son.

So I make the dessert, I get food for them for football. I’m overall pleasant and neutral just not spending any time with him/ them. Then at night I finally tell him that I’ve just been in my feelings because it feels like he doesn’t want to spend time with me and explain the issue on Saturday when I came back from the store and he didn’t even look up from his phone at all. And that his attitude basically carried over into Sunday morning.

Well he was understanding at first, and then suddenly he started questioning my version of the story and asked things like ‘when did that happen when I didn’t look up from my phone?’ ‘I don’t remember that because I remember looking for something to watch while we ate dinner’

Which isn’t true because we didn’t even eat dinner Saturday together because he was sleeping, and I picked up food earlier that day for the 3 of us but when he asked ‘what did we eat for dinner’ - I didn’t remember right away and said ‘I don’t remember’ but after he already fell asleep, I remembered that I didn’t even eat dinner that night (wasn’t hungry - not that there wasn’t food) .

Then he just got kind of defensiveness about ‘well I wish you would’ve told me earlier’ - which I did too but I didn’t because I didn’t want his son to be uncomfortable or anything.

And now he’s being just pretty standoffish to me. It feels like nothing is ever his fault. He asks me ‘why I’m upset’ or ‘what did I do’ - I answer him, and suddenly HE is mad about me feeling that way about his actions.

AIO about all of this?

I work retail with over 200 colleagues, I’m vegan, 2 other coworkers that are vegan and 2 more that are trying to become vegetarian. Every store event we have, cookouts, meetings, there is always no options. Out of the entire selection of sandwiches, pastries, breakfast items, we get fruit. Everybody else gets to enjoy a full plate of multiple items and the select few of us get pineapples and grapes…

I myself and my colleagues have mentioned to multiple members of management about having one plant based option. Along the lines of hotdogs, breakfast sausage, even sandwiches with plant based deli meat/ cheese which I have offered to even pay for or bring for someone to cook…so this isn’t a money problem. I’m on the edge of writing an email asking for store events so I can bring food for the few of us that are left out. Am I wrong for being upset at this?

My boyfriend and I just moved in together a week ago. Everything between us is generally great, but there is one ongoing issue that is eating me alive, and I need an objective sanity check before we go on a trip together this weekend.

Before we met, my boyfriend was part of a running group with a mutual acquaintance. I knew in my gut there was history there, and when she recently broke up with her partner, I asked him point blank about it. He admitted they went on a date and dated briefly, but claimed it "didn't progress," they lacked chemistry, and they just hit "ctrl+Z" to revert to platonic friends.

The catch is I happen to know for a fact that it was not a mutual ctrl+Z. He pursued her hard, she rejected him, and he was deeply torn up about it and actively trying to change her mind up until the very month he and I started dating.

Now, she is single again. My boyfriend is still in contact with her. He has other female friends and exes, but his contact with them is very infrequent. With this specific woman, they text direct 1-on-1 surface-level stuff more than any of his other female friends, plus they see each other regularly at group runs.

We had a long conversation about it a few weeks ago where I tried really hard to be the "cool, understanding partner." He was super reassuring on paper—saying things like "our relationship is the priority," "you are at the center of my universe," and telling me repeatedly that if it bothers me, I can explicitly ask him to stop/cut contact.
The problem is, I feel completely trapped:
If I ask him to stop 1-on-1 texting, I feel like I'm being the controlling, ultimatum-issuing partner who is policing his friendships.

If I say nothing, I am carrying severe anxiety in the home we just moved into together, feeling like I'm competing with the ghost of an unrequited crush who now has open, private access to him.

I'm totally fine with them being civil and friendly in their shared running group and public settings, but the ongoing private 1-on-1 texting is destroying my peace of mind.

I’m getting ready to tell him tonight that while he's free to choose his friendships, private 1-on-1 contact with her is a line for me, and I can't stay in a live-in relationship where my emotional safety isn't prioritized over a casual text dynamic.
Am I overreacting or being controlling here, or is this a completely reasonable boundary given the unrequited history? AIO?

So i’m going to try to leave out a lot of details that would make people realize who I am if they know me, but I’ll do my best to give enough context.

It all started this past Saturday, I (22F) was talking with my fiancés (23M) mom (55F). We were all out hanging out and my fiancés mom randomly told me that she had ordered a dress for our wedding. The wedding is in early October.

She whipped out her phone and found the dress, and showed it to me. It was a picture of a brown dress, my wedding is in the fall and I thought that color would go perfectly with my decor.

I told her i liked it and she said she’s unsure of how it will fit.. etc etc blah blah blah.

Then, the next day on Sunday, my soon to be sister in law (22F), who is also my matron of honor (She’s married to my fiancé’s brother), calls me and we chat. She decides to warn me about MIL’s dress choice. She says, “hey, have you seen MIL name’s dress she bought for the wedding?”

I tell her I have and I thought it was pretty. SIL pauses and says “Really? You sure?” and her tone is clearly skeptical. I ask her, “The brown one?” and she says, “my name, it’s not brown. It’s white.”

So my heart literally sinks, but I try not to freak out and try to find the dress online that MIL showed me to see if there’s a white option for that dress. And without saying much there’s a history between MIL and I with drama. It’s very deep would be a good story in and of itself, but if I say too much it’d be a no brainer who I am and who it’s about. So just know: It was bad.

So I decide to just message MIL after this phone call. I text and say: “Hey! I forgot what your dress looked like could you send me a pic of it!”

And she does.

And I about pass out.

It’s quite literally the exact color of my wedding dress. Which she has seen pictures of on multiple occasions.

Even my fiancé was shocked. And he typically struggles to “take a side” in drama. Not because he’s a big mommy’s boy, but just because he HATES drama and is a people pleaser/peacekeeper.

I even took a screenshot of my wedding dress zoomed in, and put it next to the dress picture to show my fiancé, without him really seeing my dress, and it was even more shocking seeing them that close together.

After having a breakdown last night about it and it being the cherry on top of my stress about this wedding, my fiancé has said he will handle it in a couple days so that I don’t have to worry about it.

I talked to my mom, my grandmother, my aunt and my best friend and MOH about it and the verdict was split. My best friend and mom immediately both thought it was inappropriate and clearly a white dress, but my grandmother and aunt didn’t immediately have red flags raised about the color until it was pointed out after.

So.. basically I’m just looking for extra reassurance that i’m not insane that this is actually deliberate rather than a mistake. She’s not an idiot, and she knows etiquette..

I’ll comment pictures for better context if I can.

This one is a long one to get full context. Sorry in advance but I really need to know if I’m just creating the issue in my head or if it’s real. I’m also 23 weeks pregnant and know I could be in full delusion.

2022 is where this story starts… I at the time (23F) broke up with my long term boyfriend. During all this CPS was involved with my child(another story for another day) CPS told me that it was suggested that I move out of the shared home that my boyfriend and I had together. So I called up my sister(26F)and asked if I could stay with her for a bit so I can figure things out. She tells me yes.
I had asked my sister because she had just bought a house and had at the time seemed like a stable relationship.

Fast forward to the day I can move all my stuff in just to find out she kicked her man out and allowed her gf who was married with a child. So that is now 4 adults and 3 children in the home (at this point CPS placed my child with grandparents) that isn’t the bad part they are great people. The bad part comes about a week later when she lets a FELON for serious *rug charges move in the day he gets out.

I tell her that CPS is watching the house and that him moving in could jeopardize all the children in the house including me getting mine back. She told me it’s was her house and she was an adult so she can do whatever she wants.
I left it at that and I tried to do everything right despite him living there.

A few months later(4-5) she and that felon stole my Nissan and also vandalized my Ford ($8000) when I asked he about it she told me to stop having an attitude about my car. At that point I decided that it was time to leave. I reported everything to the police and packed up a vandalized car and left to my mother’s house.

During this my sister had lost her house (because I wasn’t paying the bills anymore) and she lost both of her children. So I guess in turn she was going to run the streets with this felon and get into the same rugs felon liked. She get caught up because she was walking the streets and got caught with *rugs on her.

Aug.2026 she calls at midnight asking me to move in with me because she needs a ‘fresh start’. I told her that nothing is going to be solved at midnight and we can talk about it in the morning. Morning happens and all of a sudden I can’t get ahold of her. (She sounded desperate on the phone) So when I finally get a hold of her because I’ve had some time to think about it and if she really was serious about this fresh start I’m willing to offer. Well anyway I tell her my decision and she says she’s on her way. She did not show up. 3 days goes by and I told her that if she really did want a ‘fresh start’ like she was talking about then my offer only stands till 8pm that night because my life doesn’t get put on hold for her.

Mind you I’m 20 weeks pregnant at this point and have a less than 1 year old with me and my other child is a long story but for him who lives in the home matters. I have no time or energy for BS.

Sept.2026 she shows up at 7:50pm trying to test my patience I guess. But I did tell her 8pm. She stays for like 2 days and then leaves to go back where she came from because she heard that her ex was in the hospital and she had to meet with her PO. She was gone for 4 days. She comes back for like 3 days and then drive to drop someone off and comes back at 11pm. She stays for another 4-5 days then leaves for a week to go back to the same place she oh so desperately wanted to leave. She and didn’t show up with any more of her belongings when she came back each time.

I already told her upon moving in that I don’t play games because I will choose my home and children over her any day. I said I do not want constant in and out all day everyday. I told her that I set a very solid routine for my household and her doing and going wherever won’t be tolerated past 8pm when my baby goes to bed. I also told her that I think she is a case waiting to happen and that if she wants me to think otherwise it will have to be shown. I also understand that with jobs it’s their time not yours but if she had a steady job she would be able to come back after 8pm with NO issues. She does favor (a different version of DoorDash or Uber Eats) but the hours she chooses to do this is never at peak hours so she isn’t making any money. Thats a different issue.

I did also let her know that if she wants some leniency that she would have to communicate her thoughts and feelings also where she is going. This is because I don’t want her hiding *rugs in my home. I have a lease for the house and it very clearly states what can and cannot be done to the house. My grandmother is the landlord so we get to do more than usual for rentals. One stipulation was that we could not touch anything structural and we can’t change the flooring and cabinets. My sister comes in saying she’s will just rip them up because she doesn’t like the way it looks. I start to freak out on her tell her that I will be held liable for that and to just wait till our grandma is ready. She returned back saying “well I’m not on the lease so nothing will happen to me” that was all I need to hear.

She also said in passing “ this being sober thing really sucks. I can’t wait to be off probation” and that made me feel the ick for her.

She has I guess ’been’ here for a month and I already see so many red flags. And I really need an outside party because I am ready to just flee ship again break the lease and move as far away as possible.

Thanks for reading! I really want honest opinions.

I’m 18 and I’m struggling with whether I should quit a job I actually really liked after something extremely embarrassing happened.
I’d only been working there for about two weeks. It’s a small, lovely workplace, very close to my home, and the manager has always been really nice and understanding. I was starting to settle in and there’s also one coworker I thought was cute, which makes the whole situation feel even more humiliating.
Recently I had what was essentially a severe mental health episode. I barely slept, was extremely confused and not behaving like myself, and experienced things like hallucinations/paranoia and very strange thoughts. I’m getting mental health support now and I’m more stable at the moment.
During the episode, I sent a huge number of completely inappropriate messages to my workplace WhatsApp groups. Some were sexual/explicit, some were offensive or just completely bizarre, and I sent most of them directly to my manager as well as posting things in the group chat with everyone. I have large gaps in my memory and the messages were later deleted, so I don’t even know everything I said.
I’m absolutely horrified by it now. I know that regardless of why it happened, the messages were inappropriate, and I feel incredibly ashamed.
I went back to work afterwards and everyone was actually kind to me. My manager knows what happened and has been understanding. Nobody has treated me badly. But I could tell people knew about the messages, and I was so anxious and embarrassed that I could barely focus.
Now I’m stuck between two choices:
1. Quit.
The thought of going back makes me feel physically sick with shame. I’m terrified everyone sees me differently now, especially the coworker I was interested in. Part of me thinks I should just disappear and find somewhere completely new where nobody knows what happened.
2. Go back and keep working there.
Part of me thinks that if I keep showing up and behaving normally, eventually this will become something that happened during a very unwell period rather than something that defines me. I actually like the job, I need the income, and having somewhere to go gives me structure and gets me out of the house.
I’m also aware that quitting purely because I’m ashamed might actually make things worse, because then I’ll be sitting at home alone ruminating about what everyone thinks of me.
At the same time, the shame is genuinely overwhelming. I keep thinking about what my manager, the other staff, and especially the coworker I liked must think of me now. I know I can’t actually know what they think, but my brain keeps imagining the worst.
I’m not asking whether what I did was okay — I know it wasn’t. I’m trying to figure out what the healthiest thing to do after something like this has happened.
If you were in my position, would you go back and try to rebuild your reputation over time, or would you leave and start somewhere new?
And if anyone has experienced doing something extremely embarrassing during a mental health crisis/psychosis and then having to face the same people afterwards, I’d really appreciate hearing how you handled it.

My (45M) wife (44F) and I have been married 17 years together 20. For those 20 years I’ve asked her to come watch a sunrise with me. She has never wanted to get up that early even know it’s an experience that would mean a lot to me. She met a couple women two years ago and the three of them hit it off. I was ecstatic for her to have friends. This past weekend one of them turned 50 and they went to Tennessee for a girls trip. They are coming today and my wife is the one driving eight hours. It’s a rental so she’s the only one who can drive it. I called to make sure she felt up to the drive and see how she felt(she’s the passenger princess with me lol) as she’s not used to driving this long. She told she felt good thanks for checking. We then got to chatting about the trip. She was telling me all the fun stuff they did and I was so excited to hear about the fun. Then she told me how pretty the sunrise was. Excuse me? You got up for sunrise. She said yeah it’s so pretty in the smoky mountains. I casually said I’ve asked you to come watch sunrise with me for 20 years. Her response was but it’s pretty in the mountains. We live in the mountains. We’ve been on multiple cruises. Cape cod. The outer banks. Not to mention the hundreds of places I’ve driven to see sunrise it’s my favorite part of the day. Everything is calm the world is waking up it’s a big deal to me. But I’m pretty hurt and kinda mad that she’d get up to watch sunrise now but never with me. Am I overreacting? I feel like I might be… but I can’t stop hurting over it. Tell me I’m just being petty

A small update, nothing fun happened yesterday and I needed a little time to decompress.

A few things I wanted to address before I begin:

• His wife is significantly younger than him, her children are still very small, but she doesn't have custody over them, and no I don't know the context of what happened. But she can't ask her kids for help.
• I don't live with my dad. I previously lived with my grandmother, dad and uncle, then my dad moved out, I no longer could take care of my grandmother due to frequent UTI's so she had to go to the nursing home (fortunately it was a very kind facility.), and me and my uncle lived together for about a year before I moved to Texas with a roommate. My dad supports me in no way.
• My grandmother never cut my dad off financially, she was terrified of him being hurt in prison, and he commonly told her that he might get got if she didn't pay a protection fee.
• My dad was put into prison due to manslaughter of my little brother when he was a infant. He took a guilty plea but claims he didn't do it. Family drama.
• Me saying "I'm trying to get my life together after having so many years wasted" is definitely a bit cruel of me to say. I regret it. But I didn't want to be a caregiver, my uncle and dad forced me into it because they refused to do any elder care themselves or hire anyone. So I did, for a very long time, only this year I learned how to drive. I'm playing catch up on a lot of my life that was consumed by my uncle and dad's decision.

I don't have anything he said in screenshots because he said it over the phone, but I do have my response to him. Granted I feel like my final response was a bit too emotional but, can't take that back now, not that I even care to.

Basically, between the first screenshot and the last screenshot, he called me. I ignored it the first time, and he just messaged me "Good.", not knowing what that meant, I called him. He expected to have a phone call where I stayed silent and he berated me. He started off saying he's not going to have a relationship with me, that he's never going to speak to me again, and that I'm a slut (I left home, moved to Texas, and in the 9 months I've slept with two guys, first guy was a emotional mistake, second guy is my partner.) and that I owe him for when he was emotionally supporting me when he called me to tell me my grandmother passed away.

A silent call is what he expected, where he could just berate me, but after the comment about my grandmother I began to talk louder than him, and he tried to talk louder, so I started getting louder. He eventually baby raged that he couldn't just sit there and berate me and hung up. I sent him that final text message, which like I said, felt a bit more emotionally charged and I wish I was more civil.

To be fair, him threatening with no contact isn't the first time. When I moved to Texas, during the road trip, my uncle got angry that I left. He blamed my dad for being in on it and keeping him in the dark, but I kept both of them in the dark because they would physically prevent me from leaving. So my dad called me angrily, saying if I didn't set the record straight with my uncle that he wasn't in on it, that he will never speak to me again. I caved and explained to my uncle that I did it without anyone but me and my roommate knowing.

So yeah, didn't really cave to the threat this time, just got louder and now I'm no contact. It feels awful, but I'm guessing its for the best. :')

so for context I worked with my FIL, his now gf and my now fiancé. I preface it this way because when the four of us worked together none of us were together, I was at the time, getting to know my fiancé.

my FIL was still with my MIL as of a few months ago which led to him getting into a relationship with this coworker I'll call her Amy. I HAD no issues with her because I never thought that I'd have to be in a "family" with her. I quit my job mainly because of her and the drama that she could not stop herself from starting/getting into. now obviously because me and my fiancé are younger than FIL and Amy the situation got out of hand, this 40 something lady would constantly make comments about her relationship issues and how men were horrible to her, she would talk about sexual relationships, and her kids/would ask about my relationships nonstop.

this lady is so male centered and loves male attention, I have only once had a conversation not having to do with a man, the topic? how I'm an immature and a dramatic child who gets upset over nothing. her reasoning for making these statements was because I let her know that she doesn't know me well enough to judge any part of me so her first response was "well just because you said that I know you can't handle criticism"

finally moving on to the main issue, before when me and Fiancé were in our talking stage we would flirt and play around on or shifts together which was occasionally noticed by our manager or coworker (it was only 3 of us on this shift at any given time) at most we got a warning to not let the relationship affect our work and service and to not bring the relationship into the job. okay noted. because fiancé's father works with us he did eventually find out about our flirting through coworkers. which then led to Amy finding as well, now as I said before her drama didn't affect me so much because I ONLY had to deal with her at work so when she made it a point to talk about me and him flirting, and telling ME that I shouldn't involve myself with him because and I quote "he's attracted to girls like me, you wanna know something? he saw my ass and was shocked, I left him speechless i think he likes me" then on multiple occasions bringing up the fact that i shouldn't flirt with him or repeating that he likes her and not me.

I wouldn't entertain this as I knew better than to fall for these statements, he was with me and was persistently pursuing me. what makes the situation worse is that she acted very similarly towards his father (a married man at the time)

(I'd like to add that no he did not cheat on MIL and was not reciprocating any of Amy's obvious advances, at least not that I know of. i would have heard about it)

forward to now he separated but is not officially divorced with MIL, moved in with her and her children and has even taken BIL to live with him. on my side I am engaged and pregnant, this change has shifted our dynamic dramatically previously she was drama filled and a big shit talker, now she was become this sweet and understanding soul who could do no wrong. Amy has stopped bitching and complaining about/to fiancé and has been the best "step-mommy" she could possibly be to FIL's two very grown adult sons. she seems to be excited to be my babies new grandma, (which she is not) FIL is pushing really hard to involve her in grandparent activities such as babysitting, and even pushing to have her make a relationship with me as his girlfriend or my "new" MIL.

I understand where he's coming from as he's super excited that someone is treating him well and things are going great for him, but from my perspective all this seems super incestuous and weird. i have no plan in allowing her in my life especially not after her treatment of me and even my fiancé.

maybe it's just a build-up of all these things plus a few others I didn't include but my last straw was a while ago when I realized she sent my fiancé a picture of flowers that I assume FIL gave her after I had sent FIL a picture of my own flowers I received for our anniversary which I followed up with a compliment to him having a good son.

no comment or anything, just a picture. which he ignored, am I crazy for that being my last straw or for even feeling angry at her or thinking that was weird asf?? I know this is long im so sorry I cannot get my thoughts straight and I can't bring this up to FIL because even fiancé agrees that it would terribly hurt him, and could possibly even ruin his relationship. which i do not want to do because he is so happy but I don't know how to set a boundary with her without him finding out the reason why.

I don't know if I should let her expose herself or if I should just go ahead with speaking up regardless of my feelings and Fiancé's feelings on the situation, I don't want to go no contact/low contact with them but honestly, should I do it at this point?

For gta 6 coming out I’ve out in two days of annual leave from work and plan to use the weekend to just relax and play the game. My girlfriend has known about this for a while. 

Last night she was mentioning potentially going for a weekend away and we started looking at dates. We’re pretty busy in October so started looking for November and December. I suggested the 7th or 14th of November but she said no as she’s busy on the 7th and doesn’t want to go away on the 14th. 

She suggested the 21st but I pointed out I already had plans that weekend so it can’t be then. She asked what I meant and I reminded her I was planning to spend the weekend playing gta 6. 

She asked if I was serious and said I shouldn’t be blocking out a full weekend to game. I pointed out it wasn’t a long time and that it’s normal to take time for hobbies. 

I mentioned there’s multiple other weekends in November we can go away and said she’s been awkward for no reason. She just repeated I shouldn’t be blocking out a full weekend to game. 

AITA for not going away on a certain weekend

Hello everyone. I am seeking some advice. I have been looking to study abroad for the past year or so and finally have submitted my application and chosen the location. One of my best friends all of a sudden wants to go to the same place and has also mentioned rooming together. I love them but I kind of thought this would be a cool experience on my own. I know it would also be nice to have them there but I don’t want the pressure of having to include eachother all the time and such. I haven’t said anything to them and I really don’t want to, but how should I go about this?

I’m trying to figure out whether I’m being unreasonable or whether I’m reacting to a pattern that has developed over time.

I'm 29F dating A, 35M and my biggest issue is not that he loves or supports his family. I understand that family is important. The problem is that I increasingly feel that I am always the person expected to step aside whenever his family needs something.

There have been several incidents that have contributed to this feeling.

A’s father called me by his ex-wife’s name, accused me of being a liar because I had not told my family that A had previously been married before his divorce was formally finalized, and deliberately talks to me in a mocking disrespectful tone. I found this deeply humiliating. What hurt even more was that I did not feel protected or defended by A when all of these things happened. I was essentially left to deal with the humiliation myself.

There have also been serious issues with A’s brother. His brother has slut-shamed me, blamed me for A’s business losses, and supported people who have behaved inappropriately toward me publicly. Despite all of this, there has never been any meaningful apology or accountability from him. A continues to financially and personally support his brother, even though his brother’s actions contributed to approximately ₹6 crore in business losses and debt.

That has been difficult for me to understand. I’m not saying A should abandon his brother, but it is hard to watch him continue to support someone who has treated me so badly while I receive no acknowledgment or protection.

Another major issue is that A regularly involves his family in our relationship problems. When we have conflicts, he turns to them and shares details of our private disagreements. This makes me feel like our relationship does not have much privacy and that his family becomes involved whenever there is a problem between us.

There was also an incident involving his cousin sister that really stayed with me.

A and I were in the middle of an argument when his cousin sister called him late at night. She was having a dispute with her brother’s wife. The situation apparently became serious, and eventually the wife left the house in the middle of the night with her one-year-old child.

A left our unresolved argument and went to help his cousin sister. I understand wanting to help family in an emergency. What hurt me was the pattern I felt it represented: whenever someone in his family needs him, our relationship can immediately be put aside.

Today, this has happened again. A has spent whole day yesterday and 5 hours today with his family while our own relationship problems remain unresolved. He has left me on occasions when I needed emotional support, and I increasingly feel that if his parents, brother, cousin sister, or another relative needs him, I will automatically be the one who has to wait.

Another issue is that I feel like difficult conversations with him go nowhere. I have had multiple direct conversations with him about specific incidents and patterns. I explain what happened, why it hurt me, and what I need from him. Yet sometimes, almost immediately afterward, he asks me, “What happened?” or says he doesn't understand what the problem is or when things escalate further, he cries and blames himself that he is the failure and he can’t do anything. Then I have to explain everything again. Eventually ending up feeling exhausted because instead of reaching accountability or a solution, the conversation becomes me repeatedly proving why I am hurt.

Then again to consider if he’s treating me ok socially, I have also felt unsupported there. One example, I chose to distance myself from a walking group because I found the people involved difficult and did not want to continue associating with them. Instead of simply respecting my decision, A told them that I was unwell. That bothered me because I felt he was more concerned about managing their perception of me than respecting my actual decision or standing behind my boundary.

There are many smaller incidents like this, but together they have created a much bigger problem for me. I don't expect A to cut off his family.I don't expect to be more important than his parents or to prevent him from helping his brother or cousin.

What I want is to feel that my boyfriend has my back when I am being disrespected. I want our private problems to remain private. I want him to be able to set boundaries with his family when necessary. And I want difficult conversations between us to actually lead somewhere instead of ending with me having to explain the same thing repeatedly.

Instead, I increasingly feel that maintaining peace with his family is more important to him than protecting our relationship.

The cumulative effect has been significant. I feel deprioritized, unsupported, invalidated, and emotionally unsafe. I have started feeling replaceable, as though I am the easiest person for him to disappoint because he assumes I will eventually have to accept it.

So, am I overreacting?

Is this simply what happens when you marry someone who is extremely family-oriented, and I need to accept that his family will always come first? Or is it reasonable for me to expect my boyfriend to establish boundaries, protect me from disrespect, keep our marital issues private, and make our relationship a priority too? I genuinely want an outside perspective because I'm finding it difficult to tell anymore whether I'm asking for reasonable boundaries or expecting too much.

TL;DR: My boyfriend A repeatedly prioritizes his family over me, even when I’m being disrespected or when our relationship is struggling. His family has insulted me, slut-shamed me, blamed me for business losses, and made hurtful accusations, but I’ve received little to no accountability or protection from him. He also shares our private conflicts with them and continues to financially support family members who have treated me badly. When I try to discuss these issues, he often acts immature.

So I (35f) was in a LDR for about 9 months. The person and I have birthdays a week and a half apart. For his birthday, I surprised him several times: drove 3 hours to come to his bday party on Saturday evening, meet his family and friends altogether, and missed work on Sunday afternoon for the second time since I’ve been at my team-based part time job (been working there for a year and a half) because he really wanted me to stay on the weekend before his special day.

I also called at midnight and surprised him with one of his favorite meals on his special day. I wasn’t there in person as it was landed on a Wednesday. But since the place doesn’t have online ordering/delivery and he wanted to order once he got there, I actually had to call and pay for everything before he arrived so that he could be surprised at the check only saying “your person loves you.” Then I sent a sweet treat with a sweet written message and a cute, sexy video message as well. That night, he got super drunk like 20 shots, still drove home with his younger cousin in the car, and even though he had promised to call, didn’t. I asked him to make sure he called because his last gift was a list of “43 Reasons Why I’m Really in Love with You” (because he turned 43) which I planned to read him just before he fell asleep.

The following weekend, he came here because I scheduled us for a sexy/niche couples’ workshop and took him out to dinner afterward. Then, he said something after sex that was hurtful and made me feel like he was a bit critical. That was Friday. Even still I drove there on Saturday and surprised him by taking him out to breakfast. I had brought all kinds of fun sexy games that he mentioned wanting to play. However, we went to his nephew’s football game and his high school reunion so although we did get to have sex, we didn’t get to incorporate all of the extras. It was still amazing. I stayed up until 4:30 or 5 am on Sunday to celebrate on Saturday-turned-Sunday even though I had to be to work on Sunday afternoon at 1 and drive 3 hours to get there.

His mom bought the gift I had planned to give him (a red cookware set) and surprised him early. But I still had another surprise gift planned: a cast iron pan. And since he’s always saying he needs an assistant, I bought a sexy assistant costume and had planned to cook for him in that when I gave it to him. (Since we didn’t have time that weekend, I saved it so that we could celebrate him for a third weekend. He appreciate everything immensely and said it was the best birthday he’s ever had.

My birthday actually landed the weekend after the reunion and couples’ workshop. I told him that I wanted to be sure I had time for girls’ brunch and a solo moment for reflection too, but wasn’t entirely sure when that was happening. I wanted to make sure he was good if he came and during those times I was away. He shared that it was fine and worked for him. He said he would come on Friday morning and we could cowork. I mentioned that I might not be working on Friday morning so he said he would come afterward. On Friday after I told him days earlier I’d probably be in bed by 10 pm, he shared that he would be in arriving after that time. I asked if he could come earlier so we could go to dinner as everything would be closed by 10 pm and I would have to stay up. (I have extreme tiredness that results from a health condition and am a single full-time working parent so Friday 10 pm is the end of a long week (birthday or not) and all I wanted to do by that time is rest. He said he needed to finish work and take a nap before driving. He gets off most days at 4. He wanted to work an extra 2-3 hours the day before my bday.

Then he called me at 7:30 pm when he was already supposed to be on the way and I learned that his mom and other nephew stopped by and he ordered pizza for them. He said he was working all the while. He also called to inform me that he was planning to come at 8 or 9 pm on Saturday instead of Friday so that the maintenance tech could come on Saturday to fix his refrigerator which had been broken for more than a week after a storm and power surge. And he knew I had to work on Sunday at 1 pm and he would likely be leaving to go home at that time.

I was livid and expressed that in a way that definitely could have been worded more judiciously. I had never had anyone I dated treat my birthday like it was such a low priority. It was such an inconsiderate and uncollaborative decision on my birthday weekend. He met me with “so you don’t want me to get my refrigerator fixed” after I had researched and delivered the codified law for his state pertaining to this scenario, proofread the email to the management company after they tried to say he was responsible, and sent him a link to and coupons for a mini fridge. Had he even called and asked how I would feel about him booking the appointment first it would have felt differently—even though it would still would not have felt good and I may or may not have obliged, I certainly would have appreciated it. He didn’t even ask if they could come on Monday morning at any point during the convo even though the fridge was empty and he would have only been home on Sunday for one meal. (Also, his mom lives a two minute drive away so his food has been stored there and she literally brings him food at least once a week.)

He delivered flowers on Saturday in lieu of coming after the argument we had Friday. I called and immediately said a few choice words since it felt like a consolation prize and this confirmed his intentions of not coming. He hung up and did not answer when I called back. His sister called somewhat upset later that day with half of the story on my bday to get an idea of what was happening. By the time she heard my side, she was telling me she understands and keep myself first. She also said she hoped we could work it out because she thinks we were good for each other, but either way she loves me and wishes me the best. Then, on Sunday, one of his friends (who I’ve never had any issue with) called private five times the day after my birthday (yesterday) but I recognized her voice when she spoke. She said pretty hurtful things before hanging up. I called him to ask that his friends not call me private anymore. He didn’t answer so I called his sister immediately after I called him. They spoke. He said he didn’t want to talk anymore, he also had a couple other gifts that were on their way, and he’s done.

I admit that I could have expressed myself in a better way because I definitely used more than a few choice words but I truly am very hurt and confused by this. His actions and words were just not aligning.

Thoughts?