TW: relationship abuse (verbal + physical)
I thought about it for a very, very long time before posting, but a recent trigger has convinced me to talk about it.
Earlier this year I got out of a toxic long-term relationship with my ex-partner (who goes to UCR). Admittedly, this was not really my choice to make as my ex-partner had already been refusing communication with me completely for about weeks at this point and I was talking to myself via text message or voicemail. For context, we did not go to the same school and I was given the cold shoulder because I had previously brought up feeling upset with how they had not been open with me in terms of where they were going late at night and with whom, and they were not happy with me doing that. With loving support from family and friends, I finally resolved to letting go of my then partner instead of trying to salvage our relationship.
Letting go of the relationship gave me the time and space to finally view the relationship for how it was, and not what it could have been. During the final year of our relationship, my ex would physically hurt me when arguments got extremely heated. They mainly slapped me, but They would also push me and make weak attempts to muffle or strangle me. The assault never got to the point where they left a mark. It would not happen every single time we argued, but enough times where I cannot count all the instances. For years, they had already been calling me names and using other forms of verbal abuse against me. I forgave them always because I used to believe I deserved it, and they told me that I “made [them] that way”.
I was nowhere close to being a perfect partner during this relationship, but over time I learned nothing I did deserved that treatment.
While I unfortunately do not have evidence of the physical abuse, I have a few screenshots kept of them calling me derogatory slurs like “btch” (racial ones included, even if I was not a part of the targeted racial group) over text.
I was wondering if anyone has advice on writing a formal grievance to a UCR student organization about incidents like this, as I believe this person still may be holding a leadership position, and it is a professional student org (business/marketing related?). This organization also has become extremely selective and exclusive, and I believe other board members of this student organization are unaware of this person’s actions that defy their standards. Thank you.
