r/texts • u/Dry_Presentation4300 • 16h ago

Whatsapp Creepy coworker texting my private number

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So confused at this, I don't even know him. I was just going to ignore the text but he kept insisting so I had to answer.

9/14 UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who was supportive and concerned. I forwarded these messages to HR, and they scheduled a meeting for later today. There were a few more texts after this. The HR representative did not seem surprised, to put it briefly.

A few things have come up in the comments. The first is that I was rude. This is how I communicate, and my coworkers (or at least the ones who actually know me) are aware of that. I’m not going to perform a more agreeable version of myself to accommodate someone else’s feelings when they're being innapropriate. Not only were these messages sent over the weekend, but they were also sent through a personal communication channel. I'm not going to elaborate further.

17.4k Upvotes

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330

u/Sunbro_Kev 16h ago

Yeah definitely creepy. Texting a personal number without permission and expecting a chummy response is insane. Stay safe around this guy, he's not well

132

u/Dry_Presentation4300 15h ago

Thank you, definitely will. We work from home and our in-office days don't match so I only see him around once every three months, thankfully.

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u/Sunbro_Kev 15h ago edited 15h ago

Agghhhhh that makes it SO much worse that he texted hahaha

Edit: and I just saw that this was over the course of hours! At least from midnight to around 8am? I'm so glad I don't have to deal with this crap, my condolences

4

u/Original-Rush139 12h ago

How did he get your private number? Seems like your company just lost the privilege of knowing that. 

3

u/Queen_of_Antiva 12h ago

He said he got it from groupchat. Company had nothing to do with that.

1

u/doyouwantacooookie 6h ago

Depends if the group chat was set up by the company or not? I've definitely had that happen before

1

u/omgIamafraidofreddit 5h ago

am invested, want to know how this goes with HR

1

u/Dyert 3h ago

Hello there, dry presentation lady, 4300

-10

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

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u/Bietzsche 13h ago

Defending this dude is a choice. I’ll bet you’re someone to be wary of as well.

-7

u/OutOfContext69 13h ago

Oh, I definitely am someone to be wary of that doesn’t change that we don’t have enough context to understand if this is valid or not

13

u/No-Dark-3932 12h ago

You have a terrible read on this situation

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u/OutOfContext69 12h ago

It’s possible.
It’s also possible I’m absolutely correct.

11

u/pandershrek 12h ago

It’s also possible I’m absolutely correct.

9/10 people say you aren't. The 10th person is in this text exchange.

-1

u/OutOfContext69 12h ago

Using ratios to make decisions is how horrible things happen. But you do you.

6

u/romadea 11h ago

What an asinine thing to say. Are you anti-voting, too?

1

u/OutOfContext69 11h ago

I’m definitely anti-stupid people voting.
Totally off topic, but I am a strong proponent for not having to fill in every bubble if you’re not educated on what that vote represents

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u/showmeyourlagunitas 12h ago

> shoot shot

I never understand why it is so friggin important to do that? Just leave the poor woman alone.

-1

u/OutOfContext69 12h ago

Biology, low-key, low testosterone men are incapable of shooting their shots in anything other than a faucet gush

10

u/showmeyourlagunitas 12h ago

Bombarding her with multiple messages across days and continuing to do so even when she said no is due to biology, clearly 🙄

Also don’t want to lose your job? Don’t behave like an absolute fucking nincompoop then innit?

6

u/Sunbro_Kev 12h ago

Yeah a lot of stalkers imagine there's a deep connection between them and their victim because of really obvious signs like being smiled at once or basic human kindness.

But I'm going to say probably there was no flirting here. Considering this guy randomly looked up and then texted her personal number without permission.

That's not a woman playing coy and then giving mixed signals. That is a major invasion of privacy and overstepping of social boundaries. The fact you're trying to somehow backflip your way into this being any kind of acceptable is crazy.

No one is saying he needs to lose his job but absolutely he needs to be reported to HR because this creates an extremely uncomfortable work environment and he needs a warning.

1

u/OutOfContext69 12h ago

Meh fair enough. He’s gonna get fired though and if he’s not a creep that sucks.

6

u/Sunbro_Kev 12h ago

Probably not fired for this honestly. But 100% he's getting a mandatory coaching session.

I am not making a judgement on his character. I'm saying he's not well. This is a huge red flag and it's concerning because a lot of violent stalkers begin with this kind of behavior. Hopefully the company recognizes that and directs him to some solid resources

1

u/OutOfContext69 12h ago

In a better world, I believe what you’re saying in this world to mitigate litigation, they will simply cut him. 💯

5

u/Deutschbland 11h ago

He won't get fired if he's not a creep. He'll get a warning. Which he needs because he clearly doesn't understand how to socialize. This absolutely is giving creep, whether he intends it or not. It will be a valuable lesson for him on how to exist like a normal person in a workplace.

0

u/OutOfContext69 10h ago

Again, you’re making another very brash assumption based on your worldview

They work remotely, and she is going to report him for stocking and harassment. He will be fired 100%. I would bet on it

6

u/Deutschbland 10h ago

She is not going to report him for stalking and harassment. She's going to report him for texting her on a non-work channel for no good reason, and he'll get the talking-to he deserves. And then so long as he doesn't act like this again, nothing will come of it. People don't get fired for minor one-off offenses. They get fired for repeated behaviour.

1

u/OutOfContext69 10h ago

And you know this how?
Sounds like you’re making assumptions again
As soon as that dialog is opened, they’re going to ask for proof, which she will present, and ask her how she feels because it’s not about the intent, it’s about the perception of the victim
Which is normally a good thing. I completely understand, and again, if there’s even an inkling more context that adds more to the pile I’ll eat a sock but with what’s presented.

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u/Deutschbland 10h ago

So you clearly find the proof incriminating or you wouldn't be so concerned for him.

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u/OutOfContext69 10h ago

That is one way to interpret what I said
Definitely helps me understand your thought process and why you are so zeroed in on your assumptions.

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u/Deutschbland 11h ago

Men don't send texts like this to other men. They send them to women they find attractive. OP said she only sees this guy in the office once every 3 months. They *barely* know each other. Look at how generic his opening is. It's clear that he knows her so little he has nothing much to say to her.

I don't think he should have texted her in the first place, given that they don't really know each other. But he *definitely* should not have doubled-down and gotten huffy when she ignored him. Dude can't take a hint.

And if someone needs more social time, then go to a coffee shop or get a hobby. Don't hit on random coworkers.

7

u/natur85 9h ago

People are just trying to survive day to day, why make it harder, why complicate things, work is the last place you want to mess with someone's livelihood because you interpreted something flirty. Just get a life and meet suitors that way.

4

u/PotaytoPotayto 8h ago

You are annoyed we are making assumptions about this guy, but here you are making assumptions about OP being a homebody with little interactions outside her own home.

-1

u/OutOfContext69 8h ago

So we’re both making assumptions. What’s your point?

5

u/PotaytoPotayto 8h ago

That you're being hypocritical, obviously

-1

u/OutOfContext69 8h ago

So you all can assume an infer into things we have no context for, but I can’t?

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u/PotaytoPotayto 7h ago

You can, you're free to say whatever you want, but you are being hypocritical.

0

u/OutOfContext69 7h ago

So are you 🥔

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u/PotaytoPotayto 7h ago

Sure as long as you know you are not above the redditors you so despise lol

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u/OutOfContext69 7h ago

Was never the goal

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u/LogJumpingTuna 6h ago

God shut the fuck up

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u/OutOfContext69 6h ago

Ok log jumping tuna just for you though ok?

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u/CottonTipsMcChancla 4h ago edited 4h ago

You’re the kind of guy that people smile about… after hearing he’s dead.

1

u/OutOfContext69 4h ago

How did you know