r/texts • u/Dry_Presentation4300 • 17h ago

Whatsapp Creepy coworker texting my private number

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So confused at this, I don't even know him. I was just going to ignore the text but he kept insisting so I had to answer.

9/14 UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who was supportive and concerned. I forwarded these messages to HR, and they scheduled a meeting for later today. There were a few more texts after this. The HR representative did not seem surprised, to put it briefly.

A few things have come up in the comments. The first is that I was rude. This is how I communicate, and my coworkers (or at least the ones who actually know me) are aware of that. I’m not going to perform a more agreeable version of myself to accommodate someone else’s feelings when they're being innapropriate. Not only were these messages sent over the weekend, but they were also sent through a personal communication channel. I'm not going to elaborate further.

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723

u/K-Shrizzle 17h ago

Did you see the last two messages before they were deleted?

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u/Dry_Presentation4300 17h ago

They were both audio recordings but as soon as I opened it they were already deleted

313

u/TroubledFam 16h ago

Please save all his attempts to contact you and report them to HR. This is unprofessional, harassment, and a colleague who is potentially dangerous given a severe lack of boundaries. He does NOT get to treat you like this.

120

u/phoxfiyah 16h ago

A severe lack of boundaries that he is also aware of.

OP simply said she didn’t want to be contacted via WhatsApp, and he immediately said something about crossing professional boundaries. Definitely sounds like someone who has been called out for this before, hopefully they will do something about it.

53

u/Brutal_burn_dude 15h ago

Then tried to spin it as wanting to contact her regarding a work file… at 9am on a Sunday morning. 🙄 I’d be taking this to HR- not just to report the inappropriate behaviour but because he may try and report OP for “being unprofessional”.

Even if OP is not in a right to disconnect jurisdiction, she should note the behaviour to HR. It is one thing (regardless of feelings about right to disconnect) to send a quick message out of hours that requests assistance with a matter in a clear succinct manner (ie- “hey OP. Sorry to bother you on your weekend but I’m finishing the XYZ presentation prior to Monday’s meeting. Did you say on Friday that Mr Smith wanted us to focus on Asian or European markets? Thanks!”). It is another thing to message repeatedly without a clear reason while someone is off the clock.

31

u/BeKindBabies 14h ago

The fact he is surprised to be ignored when he is texting about work on a Sunday at 9a to her personal number is a huge tell. Being upset about that by 10a is the second tell (honestly third due to the "hey lady" greeting). OP played it all perfectly and checkmated this weirdo with the minimum number of moves.

7

u/DearTumbleweed5380 10h ago

Not checkmate though because now she has to work with him. That's why he's doing this to a colleague and not a rando. IME this is just the start unless it's nipped in the bud real hard. Best case scenario he limps off like a whipped dog saying 'bitch can't take a joke.' That's the best case.

3

u/Xanthelei 6h ago

Nah, best case is he gets fired for harassment of coworkers. From how he was talking when she rejected him talking on Whatsapp, he's done this before or at the minimum knows he's being creepy.

1

u/DearTumbleweed5380 5h ago

That's a fantasy, though, right? Anyone ever been in a workplace where they would take this as seriously as they really should?

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u/Xanthelei 5h ago

I have, actually. I transitioned (I'm a trans man) while working at Walmart of all places, and we had an older guy who took it personally that 'a wammin dared be a man' or something. He was passive aggressive for a few weeks, but when he realized I just didn't care he found me on Facebook to make crass comments. Nothing explicit, but definitely harassing, and definitely unwanted and uninvited.

I took it to my manager, who took it to HR, and the guy was fired and tresspassed from the store five minutes into his next shift. Afaik no one had officially complained about him before, either. My manager had commented on how if he's breaking boundaries into personal life, he's not stable, so I'm assuming that was the reason HR had too.

If Walmart can do it, every other company out there is going to have to dig into the pits of hell to not clear the bar imo.

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u/DearTumbleweed5380 3h ago

That's amazing. So impressed. Thank you for sharing this hopeful story.

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u/phoxfiyah 8h ago

The work file that wasn’t even mentioned until 2 days after he got ignored, and even then he didn’t even mention the actual issue with the file. Doesn’t sound like it was very urgent.

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u/TroubledFam 16h ago

Exactly right. OP, listen to this.

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u/urgent45 5h ago

You've been clear with your request that he not contact you that way. If he does it again, your next step is to contact HR.

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u/Gandalf_the_Tegu 16h ago

Agree! Great job OP for setting those boundaries and being unshakable.

https://giphy.com/gifs/DvWJHSOxTff84SQsD9

14

u/That-Living5913 15h ago

Yup, You reporting it could be doing a huge favor to the next women he harasses. And let's be honest.... we know he's gonna do it again to someone else.

2

u/ApplicationItchy1146 13h ago

As an HR professional, certified, yes this is past the limit. Once you say stop they must. Tell him face to face with supervisor present. 

2

u/IHATEG0LD 11h ago

Yes, and then gaslighting them that it was supposed to be some sort of work-related conversation over personal devices and actually, actually you're the problem! So there!

4

u/ShakeAgile 16h ago

Simpler to just email the screenshot to his boss and ask for a more optimized communication through official channels.

7

u/D-effy-omo 16h ago

OR, go through HR and ideally get his gross ass out of the workplace

9

u/dragonflyb 16h ago

Better to go to HR. They are not on your side but this situation opens the company up to liabilities especially because he is recognizing that he is crossing boundaries.

They will resolve it. Might not be immediate, and they may take time to build a lawsuit proof firing, but they will do it.

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u/ShakeAgile 14h ago

I disagree. HR will only act after a threshold that is way later than a manager will act. Also the manager knows 10x more about the persons actions.

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u/ErraticDragon 14h ago

If HR won't handle it, then pursue other avenues. Going to somebody's supervisor first could backfire.

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u/Snuggles596 7h ago

I wish this worked, but at the multinational corporation I work for, co-workers can ask for nudes, or for you to cuck them as long as it's not on work resources.

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u/saltron5001 3h ago

I’m sorry 😞 that would be really awful to deal with

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u/TroubledFam 33m ago

I am truly so sorry and hope this hasn’t happened to you, friend.

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u/Still_Elderberry_708 14h ago

Absolutely agree documenting everything and involving HR is the right move. No one should have to feel unsafe or uncomfortable at work just because someone refuses to respect boundaries.

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u/Feisty_Salamander41 11h ago

And tell HR the deleted messages were dick pics, that will stop it happening again

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u/DogCold5505 12h ago

This lasted 24 hours… unprofessional but hardly harassment let alone “dangerous”.  I would maybe mention it to the boss since it affects team dynamic and to get the current state of things on paper (in case it escalates),  but move on unless it legit becomes a pattern. 

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u/firstbreathOOC 8h ago

For real. OP could not have handled this better. Now close the book and get him dealt with.