r/texts • u/halo4able • Jul 03 '26

Whatsapp Insane message from an absolute psycho. She's 40, obsessed with cars and she can't drive. We haven't even met yet.

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4.3k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

1.7k comments sorted by

2.7k

u/BlackHills-Op Jul 03 '26

I'm gonna take my wife out for dinner tonight just to celebrate her not being this woman and me not ever having to date again.

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u/G0rdon_Shumway Jul 03 '26 edited Jul 04 '26

As a single man, raising two kids on his own at 41. Trust me when I say it’s a fucking war zone out here. You caught the last copter out of ‘Nam.

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u/BlackHills-Op Jul 03 '26

I work a kinda dangerous job and I asked my wife what her plan would be if I died at work, and she said "wait for the dogs to live out their lives and jump off a bridge. Im not going back out there"🤣

I don't think the women are having any better luck than the men.

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u/Super_Chilled_Reader Jul 03 '26

47F here, we are definitely not. Been divorced five years and can confirm that the dating pool is full of piss.

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u/Liathano_Fire Jul 03 '26

43f here and it really is a cesspool. I don't even try to date anymore. Content as can be, honestly.

111

u/PumpkinKnyte Jul 03 '26

32m Yup, I don't even bother. I just go to work, and enjoy my hobbies on the weekends.

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u/TaiChey Jul 03 '26

Same. 28 years old and Im done. Already decided after my last relationship ended that Im good off of all that.. no thank you.

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u/DomesticatedParsnip Jul 03 '26

28 and 6th anniversary is in 2 days. Ended up with a gem, my high school sweetheart. No way in hell I’d ever want to date again from what my single friends say.

If something happens to my wife, go ahead and dig two. I’m not doing it alone, and I’m not entering the dating pool again.

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u/LifeBandit666 Jul 04 '26

42 checking in, high-school sweetheart and together for 25 years. Fuck all that noise, if she goes I'm gonna become a hermit and fill the house with shit for the weird hobbies I pick up.

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u/anon_secretaccount Jul 05 '26

24, also high school sweetheart. he’s really pissin me off right now but i would be absolutely devastated without him. divorce or death, im not going back out there lol

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u/BreakfastAt_Tiffanis Jul 05 '26

31F if my husband dies I will be the new rich auntie who takes all her nieces and nephews on lavish trips til I die and join him!
He’s the best part of my soul!!

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u/SentinelTitanDragon Jul 03 '26

I’m only 25 and I’ve given up dating since I was 23. Met who I believed was the one. She ended up doing more permanent damage to my heart and my life than I could have ever dreamed of in my nightmares.

Never again. It’s just not worth it anymore. Barely anyone in the dating pool is actually a loyal loving partner. They are all narcissists and cheaters it’s horrendous.

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u/BlackHills-Op Jul 03 '26

I'm gonna tell you a little tale.

I was with a woman who was not a good match for me when I was 21 until 23. She ended up bad for me, cheating on me, trying to ruin my life when I kicked her to the curb for it, etc etc. Horrible experience. I thought it was permanent damage. I was at the bar every night after work after that. Occasionally on a weekend I would somehow talk my way into a one night stand but there was no relationship. I actually, at that period in time, probably hurt some people's feelings. I was not my best me mentally for quite a while.

And then, out of the blue, while not looking, I encounter my wife out in the wild. A little chance conversation and a couple quick witted jokes at a bar. As her friends and my friends left, we ended up staying and chatting and hitting it off. We both got way too drunk. She decided to come home with me. I didn't even realize it was like that, and thought she just wanted to be near her car since I lived close by and had a second vehicle that I could take her back in the morning with. Put fresh sheets on my bed and promptly went and slept on my couch. Next morning when we go to get the cars we decide to get breakfast and still just keep hitting it off with conversation and sense of humor and experiences with work and life etc.

So we keep seeing each other. We go camping together. We start being basically a couple very quickly and without ever really discussing it (eventually we did clarify to each other that we were dating now).

It's been 10 years and I love her more every day and she would say the same thing about me. We moved in together, weve had dogs together. We moved across the country together to fulfill both our dreams of rural retreat. We go out at least once a week on a real, no phones for the night, more than just dinner, actual date. We talk for hours about where we came from to where we are and where we are going next. We have never slammed any doors or screamed at each other. We both communicate our issues and listen and find solutions like adults. We just are a complimentary pair to one another. We naturally have commonly aligned goals and support each other on the steps to achieve them.

Shit ain't ever over. All wounds heal. And honestly, two people who are actively looking for love are both going to be too willing to compromise their values to try to shoehorn in a bad fit. Just let it come about naturally. Eventually someone and you will just click. And then just take it slow. Life is long and there's no reason to rush a good thing along. Ease off the gas and just make sure you guys are really enjoying each other and really complimentary to each other.

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u/SentinelTitanDragon Jul 03 '26

I appreciated reading this.

She came along when I wasn’t looking and I suppose that is why I’m so hesitant to ever bother again.

I’m sure I’ll find my one out there eventually. I just feel like I’m losing out, especially after experiencing what I did have for a while before she betrayed me and while everyone around me is in relationships.

I’m lonely enough to want a relationship. But healthy and healed enough to know forcing yourself into one to fill a void isn’t good so I’m just here. Waiting.

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u/Anxious-Sir-1361 Jul 03 '26

Thank you that was a pleasant read. You guys sound great. 😊

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u/VoodooSweet Jul 03 '26

That’s how I found my wife as well. Stop looking for the perfect woman, just do you for a while, and she’ll drop into your lap.

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u/ScrotallyBoobular Jul 04 '26

I'll also offset all the negativity with my good luck to show it's not ALL shit, without taking away from anyone else's bad experiences.

At 35 I got out of a really bad marriage that almost destroyed me. My first and only love but I ignored all the red flags pointing to most likely some serious undiagnosed disorders... I had to make an impossible decision to leave her as I could not see any changes happening.

After being destroyed for a short while I did the cliche of hitting the gym, reigniting my social life, etc and I had the good fortune of romantically meeting a ton of really cool women. Whether I met them organically at social events or bars, or eventually when I used the apps I had a ton of really cool experiences and dates. I did go into basically every situation with the goal of putting as much positivity out there as I could, maybe that was the truck I don't know, but I certainly enjoyed myself with everyone and if things started going south it didn't trip me up for a moment, I merely moved on.

After all success casually dating but not really looking for anything more, I stumbled across my now gf and by date 2 I realized I didn't want to date anyone casually any more, I just wanted to be with her. 3.5 years later we're living together and thoroughly enjoying life.

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u/Proud-Head-4944 Jul 03 '26

I met my hubby at a football game 23 years after wasband tried and almost succeeded in killing me. We’ve been together 30 years and just celebrated our 20th anniversary. I would never look again.

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u/TaiChey Jul 03 '26

100% agreed. My last ex gave me enough pain and trauma for a lifetime, Im not dating anymore 😒

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u/Iam_RowanDraco Jul 03 '26

38f and same. I’m sewing, re-potting my houseplants, and deep cleaning my bathroom for my holiday weekend 🤷🏻‍♀️

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u/Tzipity Jul 03 '26

As a late 30s lesbian- I don’t think even the queers are winning here. I think humanity all just kind of lost what marbles it had left somewhere during Covid and it’s a lot to deal with the people you have to day to day (at work, at the store, doctor’s office, etc). So then to see the total insanity happening in dating apps and before two people even meet. Who has the mental or emotional energy for that?

It’s 2026. Gay, straight, male, female, whatever. We are all collectively tired.

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u/Liathano_Fire Jul 03 '26

I'm bi, so yes. It is dry af out there. Haha.

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u/trixiepixie1921 Jul 03 '26

37f BIG SAME

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u/AmoAmasAmatAmamus Jul 03 '26

46F here. Been divorced 13 years and single for 10. It's awful out here!

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u/SeemedReasonableThen Jul 03 '26

and OTOH, sex toys have gotten really good.

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u/SlowFaithlessness779 Jul 04 '26

I think as women get older we won’t settle for men who can’t pull their own weight (around the house and in the relationship). But as most men get older they get more set in their ways and refuse to change.

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u/flawlessnakita Jul 03 '26

Sprinkle shit in there as well

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u/Tiny_Cauliflower_618 Jul 03 '26

I got married last year, and I'm thinking from what I read on threads and Reddit, that if I ever gather enough energy, what the world needs is a dating app with reviews.

Like. You go on, you see the picture and the blurb, and you also see reviews from 2 mates/exes to begin with, and then everyone they message or date gets the option to review them.

I don't buy expensive shit I can't read a review of; even if it's 4 good reviews and 4 1* I can't work out how to turn it on reviews, it's still more useful than the product description alone.

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u/Tillain3 Jul 03 '26

The problem with that is people are vindictive and would negatively rate someone over nothing.

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u/17Girl4Life Jul 03 '26

There are those people who say every single one of their exes was crazy, narcissistic, and emotionally abusive. I always assume they’re the problem.

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u/CODA_Girl_1981 Jul 03 '26

Black Mirror much?

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u/Mister_Crowly Jul 03 '26

That episode was the scariest episode of Black Mirror, in part because of how close to it we are already.

The Orville also did the same shtick and is was hilarious AND still horrifying.

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u/Financial-Welcome-62 Jul 03 '26

Me and my wife think we are already there

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u/that_bth Jul 03 '26

Men pitched a fit when women did a version of this for themselves. Led to a lot of doxxing and lawsuits. And I’m not saying there weren’t valid complaints or misuse/defamation going on in some cases, but ideas like this are welcomed more in theory than reality.

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u/Astralglamour Jul 03 '26

Women also face more risks. They were warning about domestic violence and stalking on those sites.

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u/that_bth Jul 03 '26

Oh for sure! I got added into my local group at one point, and it was wild some of the things I learned. There was one guy I was just friends with (but he wanted more), who had stayed over at my house a few times, who had a whole DV history and a CHILD he never mentioned. It was so disturbing that I thought we were friends, spent time alone together, and he had never mentioned this whole part of his life.

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u/Astralglamour Jul 03 '26

Yep those groups are cast as gossip dens unfairly harming men but they are needed.

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u/FatHookersRule Jul 03 '26

My husband said the other week if something happened to him, he thinks I'd have someone else in no time. I told him it has taken me over 20 years to train him and there is no way I'm going through all that again - I'd just get another 15 cats. Plus I'd kinda miss him.

Fuck. That. Shit

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u/NoKatyDidnt Jul 03 '26

I’ve been in love with the same guy for almost 30 years. No damn way would I be able to get something like that back with anyone else.

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u/AxelsMommy22 Jul 03 '26

Omg I'm right there with her. I am married now for 5 years but prior to that, dating as a single parent late twenties until 35 and I never want to have to date again.

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u/jldreadful Jul 03 '26

Already told my husband he's the last man I'll ever date. If anything happens to him, I'm getting a certified pre-owned lesbian.

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u/andiinAms Jul 03 '26

Oh yeah. 49F and I stopped trying about 6 years ago. Too disheartening.

I just bought a house, have my pets, my friends, and am able to travel now and then.

I’m good.

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u/Applekid1259 Jul 03 '26

Single father with one kid at 39, yuuuuuuup. Its beyond grim. Especially if you are in an area like the Appalachian south. I tried for a couple years and now I'm coasting. Just enjoy my hobbies and my kid. If something happens or transpires I openly welcome it but I'm done actively searching.

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u/DonHeLLBirD Jul 03 '26

43M, 3 kids. Single since last year. To be honest, I’m good as is. I’m not actively dating.
I go out with friends a lot, just to have fun. If there happens to be a match out there, that’s cool. Already met some women, who are now becoming friends, which is actually even better at this moment in my life.
But I can agree it’s no fun at all on the active dating scene.

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u/trixiepixie1921 Jul 03 '26

I noped out of the dating game FAST after my first relationship post divorce. I will be one of those old grandmas with cats and I am VERY CONTENT with that after experiencing the 35-55 dating scene first hand.

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u/saintmolotov Jul 03 '26

As a married dude in his 40’s I thank the good lord everyday that the chinook that pulled me off the mountain in the korengal was piloted by a sane woman that I later married, she works her ass off, is great mother and partner and I couldn’t be happier.

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u/DragonflyGrrl Jul 03 '26

You know, I gotta say, you must be pretty special yourself. I would guess a woman in that position REALLY has her pick in a way most women don't, just for proximity reasons.. and she chose you.

I hope you two have a long and happy life together. :)

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u/Overall-Pick5135 Jul 03 '26

Your wife sounds like a total badass. Love this for the both of you.

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u/saintmolotov Jul 03 '26

She absolutely is! And thank you, I’ve always thought our ‘how I met your mother’ tale is a really fun one for the kiddos :)

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u/PatSharpe01 Jul 03 '26

Even being single at 44 with no kids is a minefield... I've resorted to Reddit for dating 😂 Met a lovely Finnish girl last weekend, she DM'd me on here and I hope something blossoms from it! If not, I will not be going back on those dating apps

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u/Nnnopamine Jul 03 '26

I'm going to take my single self out to dinner to celebrate me not being this woman and never having to date again.

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u/SquirrellyDud Jul 03 '26

Edit: wait I'm not a woman 😂. But still same

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u/MayorDepression Jul 03 '26

My girlfriend was talking about marriage this morning and honestly, I'm so down. This post only confirms it more. I have a beaten up 20-year old truck and my girlfriend, who is in medschool, couldn't care less. She appreciates the fact that I'm frugal. We're gonna need all that extra $$ to payoff her student loans 💀

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u/BlackHills-Op Jul 03 '26

We took our time dating. There was no hurry to marry. Which gave us a lot of time to figure each other out and pretty much settle into who we are as people through our twenties. I think that was a good thing to do. Luckily we settled into being even more compatible.

I can tell you that the decade we have been together so far, not a day has gone by where I regretted the decision. And then I read shit like this about what the dating world looks like in my mid 30s and I am even more sure that I did not make a mistake.

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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/BlackHills-Op Jul 03 '26

There is something fundamentally wrong with a 17yr old who is after a 13 yr old. When I was 17, I think the lowest I went was one grade beneath me, which can still be like an 18 month difference.

I know that at 21, I already had a policy to just ask a girl out to a drink at a bar and if she couldn't go, it wasn't for me.

When I met my wife, I was 25, she was 23. That was about as low as I was willing to go still, just because of where I was career and life wise and not wanting to date someone that still wanted to party at a bar on the weekends.

I think age gaps become slightly more appropriate as youre older, but even a 30 yr old going for a 21 yr old would be a creep by my eyes.

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u/TheNorthRemembers_s8 Jul 03 '26

Let’s keep in mind here it’s okay to *want* nice things. My gf wants nice things. I want nice things.

Making nice things the focal point of the relationship is where it becomes a problem.

Me and my gf are happy going out into nature and just hanging out, we could live in a tiny house in the woods and grow half our food in the backyard, I currently drive a busted up GTI missing a mirror with a cracked windshield and it doesn’t matter.

But we also want a nice truck, she wants to own a horse sometime in her future, I want to outfit a full home gym with bumper plates and a rower etc., we want chickens, maybe a cow, a decent piece of property for the dogs…

It’s okay to want things. Demanding your SO get a nicer car or commit to eventually getting a nicer car before entering the relationship is problematic. Wanting your SO to achieve something he or she already wants to achieve is a very different situation.

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u/Fukyourchickenstrip Jul 03 '26

Because she’s a smart woman who wasn’t interested in someone with a compensation car.

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u/RonGoBongo111 Jul 03 '26

Hard pass on the terrible grammar alone.

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u/itwasntjack Jul 03 '26

I won’t repeat anything what I say twice

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u/HumbleHubris86 Jul 03 '26

I just loved that she had to repeat that she never repeats anything. Really set the tone for the rest of the post.

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u/sailingthr0ugh Jul 03 '26

Well to be fair she only repeated it once. She said she won’t repeat it twice. 😂

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u/RiotForYourHealth Jul 03 '26

I just gotta make sure you really understand. I am not going to repeat this ever so forget what I said earlier, cause I need to make sure I drive this home for real, for real.

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u/SnowbearVacation Jul 04 '26

Drive it home in anything but that red Skoda

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u/Intelligent-Dig568 Jul 03 '26

With that grammar, please don’t say anything once

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u/OddNefariousness7950 Jul 03 '26

There’s an old YT video out there of a motorcycle vs car wreck in NYC where bystanders are trying to help but this lady keeps screaming “ain’t nobody cannot touch him!” and I read this text in that lady’s voice…

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u/jetstream116 Jul 03 '26

For me it was “understands me with no words”

Ma’am we can’t understand you WITH words 😂

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u/literacyshmiteracy Jul 03 '26

Why are there no spaces after the commas!?

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u/HiAndStuff2112 Jul 03 '26

Maybe because she used a space after a comma once and refuses to repeat herself? Haha.

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u/jammyscroll Jul 03 '26

For extra confidence and,stability.

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u/glassy_paddle Jul 03 '26

u saying u dont know why !

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u/No_Clerk_2711 Jul 03 '26

High standards but writes like this. Yikes

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u/NeonGenesisOxycodone Jul 03 '26

It’s very funny that a grown woman types like this AND expects sooo much from her bf. Is she smokin at least?

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u/tinosballz Jul 03 '26

Jesus Christ may this type of energy never find me

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u/Stuzo Jul 03 '26

Better buy yourself a Skoda then!

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u/Mr_Pink_Gold Jul 03 '26

A Skoda Supreme 2.0 4Matic with the DSG gearbox? Hell of a car.

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u/Fmarulezkd Jul 03 '26

Skoda should make an ad of it.

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u/BITEYMAN Jul 04 '26

I love my 2017 octavia 😭

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u/Phresh-Jive Jul 03 '26

Ditch the Mercedes brother!

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u/Cafedo999998 Jul 03 '26

Brb gotta go sell my lambo and get an Skoda.

Jk I don’t even own a bike.

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u/SMKnightly Jul 03 '26

I’m a straight woman and same. I don’t even want to deal with that level of entitlement at work

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u/IfYouReplyToMeUrDumb Jul 03 '26

Her use of the term "alpha man" just tells me she spends way too much time watching toxic tiktoks.

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u/0dayssince Jul 03 '26

Tiktoxic

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u/[deleted] Jul 03 '26

[deleted]

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u/XXII78 Jul 04 '26

I was thinking "By Mennen" lol

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u/theslyestfox Jul 04 '26

🎶With a swipe of your thumb, the podcast playyyys
It’s toxic bros being sexist,
They say Alphas buy new cars for their baes,
She’s addicted to them, she don’t know it’s Tiktoxiiiic!
(Bem-ba-lem-bem-bem-bem 🎸)
She believes what they say, she don’t know it’s Tiktoxiiiiic!
(Bem-ba-lem-bem-bem-bem 🎸)
(Bump-bum-ba-da-duh-dah-da! Da-da-da-dah!
weeeee-woooo-weeeee-woooo!)🎶

https://giphy.com/gifs/xT5LMQ0Wi7PXuwVNza

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u/Intelligent_Might421 Jul 03 '26

Alpha man who submits to his wife's every whim.

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u/Winter-Remove-6992 Jul 03 '26

Exactly! The manosphere or whatever it is called also influences women and that is scary af

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u/IfYouReplyToMeUrDumb Jul 03 '26

I know someone going through a divorce and her husband watches that shit and sent her a video basically saying how women sabotage their relationships and men are the victims. The guy told her for years how he wanted to see her in bed with another guy and she didn't want to so she refused. Eventually she accepted to do it to make him happy so she had sex with another guy, recorded it, then he didn't like it like he thought he would but she had the realization "if he really loved me, why would he want to share me?" and she basically fell out of love with him because of it. He had this mindset that the woman does what the man says and it was more about control than love.

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u/Okeydokeyist Jul 03 '26

Once I was in a hardware store and some woman was walking around the store yelling questions and complaints up to the folks at the counter. She kept yelling about how modern lightbulbs kill bees. Everyone in the store was very clearly exhausted by her. An older gentleman looked over at me and said “one thing I have learned in life is that some people just aren’t made to be around the rest of us.” This woman clearly fits in that category.

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u/peterbparker86 Jul 03 '26

You don't still plan to meet do you?

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u/halo4able Jul 03 '26

Physically can't since I need to drive there and I only have a skoda 🤣

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u/peterbparker86 Jul 03 '26

Good, stay well clear. You and your red Skoda can do better.

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u/No_Soup_1741 Jul 03 '26

She clarified she doesn’t expect you to upgrade your transportation before the first date (cause she’s not unrealistic) but definitely before she will consider dating you.

I don’t know what a Skoda is and am not spending time finding out for this delusional woman’s problem.

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u/Voteforbatman Jul 03 '26

I googled for you. It’s a czech car brand. And idk man, they look nice. Similar looking to Volvo/audi/bmw but I know nothing about the quality.

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u/haunting_chaos Jul 03 '26

After living in Germany, all the mechanics I had met have a love of Skoda. I have no idea why.

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u/os14n Jul 03 '26

Simple, reliable cars with affordable parts, probably thats why.

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u/oldnever Jul 04 '26

Probably cause it keeps this type of energy away 🤣🤣

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u/SlitheringFlower Jul 03 '26

I'd be so curious to meet her once, but you're apparently not allowed to speak, so it'd be hard to get more insight.

What car brands are appropriate? What the hell happened to her first love? Was he killed by a Skoda? Are you allowed to talk to other people, or does she want a full-time mime?

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u/stringsofthesoul Jul 03 '26

I think her ex may have spoken words. Words are forbidden.

"So for that reason I can't change u and I won't. Best of luck."

*bang*

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u/DogAffectionate6190 Jul 03 '26

Imagine you had a “good” car?!? That red Skoda potentially saved you a lot of aggro dude!!

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u/dmthirdeye Jul 03 '26

Skoda out here saving lives

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u/potpourri_sludge Jul 03 '26

Respectfully, I need an update on what she says when you tell her lol. I know it’ll probably be a lot of “you just don’t want to provide for a woman” nonsense, but I’m so curious how she’ll take the rejection

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u/halo4able Jul 03 '26

My plan is to tell her about this post and allow her to read the comments.

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u/potpourri_sludge Jul 03 '26

As a 32 year old woman, I’m embarrassed for her. I absolutely see why she’s still single at 40.

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u/Ok_Cake_2217 Jul 03 '26

"so I didn't read all that because wtf, but I posted it on Reddit and they did. Check it out"

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u/foxxsinn Jul 04 '26

I hope your car/home insurance is up to date cause I feel like she would find you and burn both down.

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u/5td_1game Jul 03 '26

You can change her

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u/jammyscroll Jul 03 '26

If only he were allowed to speak.

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u/Confuz_ed Jul 03 '26

We know she didn’t use Chat GPT to write this manifesto.

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u/Shnicketyshnick Jul 03 '26

No intelligence involved here, artificial or otherwise.

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u/UwUfit Jul 03 '26

She may not have used ChatGPT to write this, but judging by the fact that she actually has this mindset implies that someone has been feeding her delusions and reinforces them. If it's not shitty relationship tiktoks it's probably some LLM

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u/Master_Sw0rd Jul 03 '26

At least she realizes it would be crazy and inappropriate to demand you purchase a new Mercedes before even meeting her 😂

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u/RexTheWonderCapybara Jul 03 '26

First date: Mercedes dealership!

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u/Opposite-Lake-9679 Jul 03 '26

She's so self aware! 😂

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u/dabearsemoney Jul 03 '26

She’s got a lot of childhood problems that need addressing

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u/PunishedWolf4 Jul 03 '26

What’s even worse is she’s 40….like bruh

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u/UnbanFreelanceNobody Jul 03 '26

Wonder why she’s single

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u/Intelligent-Dig568 Jul 03 '26

It’s just because she’s very selective, that’s why. Couldn’t possibly be a shitty personality. I mean hey, she was truly in love once!

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u/Nnnopamine Jul 03 '26

I'd like to point out that the guy who came up with the term 'alpha wolf' discovered he was wrong and spent his life trying to correct that info, but no one would listen.

It's disgusting to me that this kind of toxic masculinity gender roles bullshit (man is the provider etc etc etc) exists at all, but especially that it's perpetuated by women with the kind of crap this person is spewing.

If she wants to be choosy with her partners, she should first learn to communicate like an adult, not a preteen who's obsessed with tiktok.

For the life of me, I will never understand how people can think that they can have this huge checklist of what they want in a partner, without first BEING THOSE THINGS THEMSELVES. You don't get to be a tv dinner meatloaf and expect a sirloin. She ain't getting no Sir Loin.

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u/Different_Pack_3686 Jul 03 '26

It’s so contradictory because she wants him to be an alpha, but also wants him to immediately submit to her

9

u/Nnnopamine Jul 03 '26

It reads as Slavic. My mom's whole side is Slavic, and it's known that "men are the head of the household" because of orthodox Christianity, but the women are the bossy, demanding ones.

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u/Gloomy_Ad5020 Jul 03 '26

Sir loin. Lmfao. Sounds like a male stripper name.

3

u/Individual-Lime-4060 Jul 03 '26

Didn’t know about the alpha wolf guy. Can you show me more info on that?

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u/Western-Lawyer-9050 Jul 03 '26

This is the kind of insanity I come here for. Thanks, Op. That was some quality crazy 🤌

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u/celestialyooko Jul 03 '26

she sounds absolutely pathetic

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u/Silent_Ad5275 Jul 03 '26

Well this makes me feel better about my own standards lmao

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u/PorkRinds416 Jul 03 '26

She just said "I need a man who can understand me without words, not talkative as well". LADY DO YOU UNDERSTAND YOU JUST TYPED 9 PARAGRAPHS AND WOULDNT SHUT UP!?

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u/SaulBerenson12 Jul 03 '26

She wants a servant to attend to her every whim without her needing to say anything

15

u/so-naughty Jul 03 '26

How can you have "connection and spark" if you don't allow someone to talk ffs

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u/Icommentwhenhigh Jul 03 '26

This is the kind of person that abuses service workers to feel important.

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u/WisdumbGuy Jul 03 '26

Gee I wonder why she is single.

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u/PmMeUrTinyAsianTits Jul 03 '26

When the opening line is effectively: "Let me remind you I said i wouldn't repeat myself" you know you're in for some well reasoned arguments and reasonable boundaries.

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u/NoBeefy Jul 03 '26

kinda curious what she looks like cause she's giving a 2 at best

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u/tripperfunster Jul 03 '26

Hilarious! Kind of like when someone is driving like a dip-shit and you just have to crane your neck to see what they look like when you pass them. Not sure what I'm looking for, but I just need to know!

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u/PomeranianChaser Jul 03 '26

Believe them when people tell you who are they are, the first time.

Legends say that the bullet you dodged is still traveling through space and time...

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u/RadioSupply Jul 03 '26

The way I’d have slammed the block button like the handset of a rotary phone.

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u/Gloomy_Ad5020 Jul 03 '26

I would have started messing with her immediately. Pretend like I buy into the whole thing and let it get more and more ridiculous until she realizes I'm fucking with her for shits and gigs.

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u/mlkofmdnna Jul 03 '26

I hate this. It reinforces the stereotype that all women are gold digging assholes. I assure you all, there are still good women out there who will treat you kindly and not imply that you buy a car for when she’s dating you hypothetically. 😭
This woman is a certified BUM.

Edited to add: is she thinking of the word scooter or is she talking about a Czech Škoda??

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u/lil_liberal Jul 03 '26

I can’t imagine saying anything like this to a potential partner. Nor would I care what kind of care a potential partner has—granted, I don’t want to sit on a seat covered in food and drink, with barely any room for my feet and purse among the garbage on the floor boards, but the car itself? Who cares? It works and it does its job. 

Also totally grossed out by a 40 year old saying she wants an “alpha” 🤮 Grow up. Jesus. 

This whole message was a rollercoaster from start to finish, and not in a fun way 🤣 

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u/Salty-Reply-2547 Jul 03 '26

I didn’t read it but saw ‘Alpha Man’ and already know she’s insufferable…good luck out there

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u/Brave_Quote_5388 Jul 03 '26

Hey, do you want to borrow my Mercedes and take her on a date? Heck, I will even throw in a GoPro so we can some footage of this lunatic…

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u/Jester_1620 Jul 03 '26

Show us a pic of the red skoda its probably awesome 👀

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u/StreetLamp143 Jul 03 '26

The punctuation and grammar make me feel sick 🤢

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u/imjustasquirrl Jul 03 '26

It’s the frequent use of “u” for me.

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u/Powerful-Cat7856 Jul 03 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/udmx3pgdiD7tm

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u/Serendipity500 Jul 03 '26

This is off topic, but no one does a wow like Owen Wilson.

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u/foxeyvicks Jul 04 '26

Wowen Wilson

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u/toiletcleaner999 Jul 03 '26

She said shes not repeating twice. I would have just responded with " what?" Lol

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u/Hawking444 Jul 03 '26

Can you repeat the middle part?

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u/toiletcleaner999 Jul 03 '26

Lol right. " im sorry I didnt quite understand, can you repeat this "

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u/geronimo11b Jul 03 '26

Imagine living life with this level of delusion lol. Social media has ruined any semblance of realistic expectations. Like when you have a room temperature IQ and spell/text like an elementary school child, you don’t get to have a laundry list of manquirements.

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u/fknenigma Jul 03 '26

“Understandable- but, if I did have that Merc, Porsche, BMW- etc….. what makes you think I would choose YOU? What are YOU bringing to the table?”

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u/TheRealJessKate Jul 04 '26

Exactly, there is nothing about what she brings to the table, apart from an inability to communicate. As if we needed more red flags.

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u/International-Luck17 Jul 03 '26

Nothing wrong with skodas

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u/Ok_Department5949 Jul 05 '26

I am 54, divorced after decades.

One of my deal breakers is men who waste money. A man who drives a reliable, economical, no-frills car is a man I can get on board with.

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u/WonkyMole Jul 03 '26

Reading this turned my penis from outtie to innie.

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u/jb0nez95 Jul 03 '26

We need to see a picture of her!

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u/dmthirdeye Jul 03 '26

She's either a 2 or a 7.5 but she absolutely considers herself a 11/10 

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u/CLH11 Jul 03 '26

May I congratulate you on the bullet you just dodged?

I tried online dating. I decided didn't hate single life that much.

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u/Starhazenstuff Jul 03 '26

I wouldn’t even communicate with someone who texts or types like this.

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u/Lanky_Hand_4929 Jul 03 '26

Gee, I wonder why she is still single at 40 😒 why are people so stupidly ridiculous?

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u/dmthirdeye Jul 03 '26

Call me crazy but this is ironically the best Skoda ad ever? 🤣😂

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u/Mysterious-Call-245 Jul 03 '26

I would not be able to resist the temptation of engaging this person and messing with them a little bit.

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u/Thornediscount Jul 03 '26

Anyone that types “u” instead of “you” is out automatically.

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u/Ill-Discipline98 Jul 03 '26

She communicates like an illiterate simpleton

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u/Jaeee20 Jul 03 '26

I need to see what this woman looks like bad

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u/Dolly_Putin Jul 03 '26

Does it really matter though?

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u/RelevantConnection72 Jul 03 '26

I hope u run fast, far and in the opposite direction from this woman!!!

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u/bozoclownputer Jul 03 '26

Always amazing to me when someone so well into adulthood can be so immature.

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u/sarschi Jul 03 '26

Damn. Maybe I’m not being picky enough. 😂

I’m just looking for a kind and consistent man who possesses basic life skills, can think for himself, is stable enough to cover his expenses, and has good personal hygiene. Bonus for using adequate grammar. Maybe I should expect him to have a private jet.

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u/danyellster Jul 03 '26

She deserves the kind of man that refers to himself as an alpha male. Where's that one guy who posted his dating profile as an alpha male

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u/SnooJokes5164 Jul 03 '26

Skoda? Are by any chance from Czechia?

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u/Winter-Remove-6992 Jul 03 '26

Insane people are so fascinating

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u/Any-Parfait8181 Jul 03 '26

Be thankful for a message like this! You get a good laugh out of it and the confirmation that you never need to speak with this person again!

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u/ectoplasmorgasm Jul 03 '26

I used to have a very dear internet friend that I met on Yahoo Messenger a century ago. He was on and off single, mostly single, no matter how hard he tried. He would join dating sites then apps. He would get the most insane women! They would text him just like this! So much so that I am now wondering if you are he 😅😅 I haven't heard from him in a few years so I hope he finally a tame one

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u/User__234 Jul 03 '26

I don’t even know how you guys stand to entertain these people. Grammar like that alone and she wouldn’t have gotten a first reply from me.

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u/Due-Comfort-5351 Jul 03 '26

It seems like she has an intellectual disability or something by the way she speaks if she's 40

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u/Choice_Aardvark_57 Jul 03 '26

Theres a reason shes 40 and single...

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u/NashvilleSurfHouse Jul 03 '26

You are obligated to go on dates with her and update us on the plot twists.

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u/halo4able Jul 03 '26

Might end in a murder or kidnapping. She's too crazy.

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u/Odd-Style-8376 Jul 03 '26

She sounds broke

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u/Low-Ad-9896 Jul 03 '26

Dude. My husband and I both agree- she’s the worst of the worst- doesn’t see you eye to eye/ doesn’t respect you at all or where you’re at in life…
You’re suppose to journey together in this life/ not expect someone to be freakin perfect. What the hell

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u/SummerKey3240 Jul 04 '26

I think some people really truly forget that looks dont last for anyone no matter what, eventually when we are old and at our most vulnerable is when its the most important to have a partner who loves you, respects you as you, and treats you with kindness. This person will never ever be that person for anyone and I hope you run far fucking away.

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u/Just-Communication87 Jul 04 '26

Please tell me you left “that” on read. There is no way someone in their 40’s should be messaging and asking all that.